6 A SIUSLAW NEWS ❚ WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 2, 2015 How does the future of education look? Just... Pee Chee works...” Ned Tennis Girl: “If my skirt Hickson gets any shorter, I’ll be play- When I was a kid, our school supply list consisted of a “Star Wars” notebook and a Pee-Chee folder. The notebook helped us organize our assignments; the Pee- Chee folder was used for entertaining ourselves during class by drawing thought balloons for the athletes on the cover. Football Guy: (Getting tackled) “Oh sure — run the old L-42 play, THAT always ing Olympic volleyball...” You get the idea. Just about everyone remembers this folder because, like Al Sharpton’s hair gel, it has remained vir- tually unchanged since 1964. What has changed, how- ever, is the growing list of items parents must provide throughout the school year. This comes in addition to rudimentary things, such as clothing, snacks and a recent urine sample. The reason is simple: The government is tired of wasteful spending, particu- larly in the educational sys- tem, where a special task force has discovered that schools routinely get bilked into spending thousands of dollars on paper alone. “And, shockingly, most of this paper has turned out to be blank,” said Education Secretary Arne Duncan. The study, code-named “Operation: Waste Storm,” was described by Duncan as “the first step in a three- pronged approach to end overspending in four areas of education.” White House press secre- tary Fred Netterman later apologized on behalf of Duncan, saying his initial figures were incorrect, and that it was actually a four- pronged approach. “The point is, he’s been promised as many prongs as it takes to get the job done — that’s how serious we are,” said Netterman, who revealed that “scissors,” “glue” and “construction paper” were other pork bar- rel items targeted by the study. “Obviously, we’re approaching construction paper with a great deal of sensitivity since, in addition to money, it involves issues of color,” said Netterman. Duncan, meanwhile, went on to explain that a less friv- olous educational budget will encourage schools to do more with less, which will go further in preparing chil- dren for the real world than making paper hats and col- lages — items which, as Duncan pointed out, could be outsourced to children in Taiwan and imported for half the price. “In addition to the cost savings, think of how it Ward appointed to new Rotary position Past Rotary president Sadie Ward has been appointed as the Public Image and Education chairwoman for Rotary District 5110. The purpose of the Public Image and Education commit- tee is to educate clubs and indi- vidual Rotarians on what the new Voice and Visual look of Rotary is and why it is important, as well as create awareness of the tools and assets available to the clubs at the www.rotary.org website. The committee also serves as a resource to clubs transi- tioning from their current elec- tronic footprint to the new voice and visuals. This includes website and social media as well as the club’s Rotary Bulletin and Brochure. Ward will also lead the com- mittee in assisting clubs in developing the use of electron- ic and social media. The goal is to measurably improve the overall voice and visual Identity within the Rotary’s 5110 District. Wells has also been accepted to the Rotary Young Professional Summit this year, a distinction given to only three Rotarians per district and hosted by Zones 25 and 26. The summit will allow lead- ers to come together to exchange ideas and take action. The Young Professionals Summit will give approximate- ly two to three of these leaders per district in Rotary Zones 25 and 26 a unique opportunity to share their thoughts, reflect on their stories and exchange ideas. In addition, as a part of this summit, young leaders will work with the leadership with- in their Rotary district to create a plan of how to make current and new Rotary clubs more relevant to the needs, desires and purposes of younger pro- fessionals. “Sadie is always upbeat, enthusiastic, outgoing, person- able and principled,” local Rotary president Crystal Farnsworth said of Ward. “She has more experience as a busi- nesswoman than many people decades older than she is. As Best Selling Author and Bible Teacher BETH MOORE Saturday, Sept. 12 8:30am-3:15pm COURTESY PHOTO Please join us at Cross Road Assembly of God, 1380 10th St in Florence Oregon for a live internet streaming. Th e event will feature life-transforming Bible teachings with popular women’s author and speaker. Music and worship. Snacks and lunch. Raffl e opportunities and door prizes. Limited copies of AUDACIOUS will be available. 541-991-6803 • Steam Cleaning • Stain Removal • Upholstery • Urine Extraction • Water Restoration Ned is a syndicated columnist with News Media Corporation. His book, “Humor at the Speed of Life,” is available online at Port Hole Publications, Amazon Books and Barnes & Noble. Write to him at nedhickson@icloud.com LIVING PROOF LIVE SIMULCAST her immediate successor as Rotary president, I respect her as a resource and appreciate her support. “She is the perfect choice for the Young Professional Leadership Summit. “I know that she will do a wonderful job in her district assignment.” Sadie Ward displays her name tag as the Rotary District 5110 Public Image and Education chair- woman. would bolster our relation- ship with the Taiwanian people,” said Duncan, who underscored his statement by pointing to a map of Japan. So, how will all this affect our children’s education? I honestly don’t know. But I’m sure, eventually, everything will be just Pee Chee. Tickets $20 (prepaid by Sept. 8th) or $25 at the door. Residential • Commercial Free Estimates Licensed •Bonded • Insured Snacks and lunch included in the ticket price. Register online at fl orencecrossroadag.org; at the church or by calling 541-997-3533 Cutting Edge Equipment Professional & Knowledgeable IRUPHUO\3UXGHQWLDO3DFL¿F3URSHUWLHV Same great brokers... same excellent service. Customize your own property search. View active listings with our exclusive Market Watch NEW LISTING Approx. 3131 sq ft golf course setting 4 Bdrm, 2 full 1 part. Ba $499,994 BH7053 ML#15664540 NEW LISTING 4 car carport, workshop in Greentrees 2 Bdrm, 1 Ba 924 +200 sq ft $69,000 BH7043 ML#15330400 NEW LISTING Located in the banana belt of Florence. Eurpoean style Tudor chalet on .55 acre. 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