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SIUSLAW NEWS ❚ WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 2, 2015
How does the future of education look? Just... Pee Chee
works...”
Ned
Tennis Girl: “If my skirt
Hickson gets any shorter, I’ll be play-
When I was a kid, our
school supply list consisted
of a “Star Wars” notebook
and a Pee-Chee folder. The
notebook helped us organize
our assignments; the Pee-
Chee folder was used for
entertaining ourselves during
class by drawing thought
balloons for the athletes on
the cover.
Football Guy: (Getting
tackled) “Oh sure — run the
old L-42 play, THAT always
ing Olympic volleyball...”
You get the idea.
Just about everyone
remembers this folder
because, like Al Sharpton’s
hair gel, it has remained vir-
tually unchanged since 1964.
What has changed, how-
ever, is the growing list of
items parents must provide
throughout the school year.
This comes in addition to
rudimentary things, such as
clothing, snacks and a recent
urine sample.
The reason is simple: The
government is tired of
wasteful spending, particu-
larly in the educational sys-
tem, where a special task
force has discovered that
schools routinely get bilked
into spending thousands of
dollars on paper alone.
“And, shockingly, most of
this paper has turned out to
be blank,” said Education
Secretary Arne Duncan.
The study, code-named
“Operation: Waste Storm,”
was described by Duncan as
“the first step in a three-
pronged approach to end
overspending in four areas
of education.”
White House press secre-
tary Fred Netterman later
apologized on behalf of
Duncan, saying his initial
figures were incorrect, and
that it was actually a four-
pronged approach.
“The point is, he’s been
promised as many prongs as
it takes to get the job done
— that’s how serious we
are,” said Netterman, who
revealed that “scissors,”
“glue” and “construction
paper” were other pork bar-
rel items targeted by the
study.
“Obviously, we’re
approaching construction
paper with a great deal of
sensitivity since, in addition
to money, it involves issues
of color,” said Netterman.
Duncan, meanwhile, went
on to explain that a less friv-
olous educational budget
will encourage schools to do
more with less, which will
go further in preparing chil-
dren for the real world than
making paper hats and col-
lages — items which, as
Duncan pointed out, could
be outsourced to children in
Taiwan and imported for half
the price.
“In addition to the cost
savings, think of how it
Ward appointed to new Rotary position
Past Rotary president Sadie
Ward has been appointed as the
Public Image and Education
chairwoman
for
Rotary
District 5110.
The purpose of the Public
Image and Education commit-
tee is to educate clubs and indi-
vidual
Rotarians
on
what the new Voice and Visual
look of Rotary is and why it is
important, as well as create
awareness of the tools and
assets available to the clubs at
the www.rotary.org website.
The committee also serves
as a resource to clubs transi-
tioning from their current elec-
tronic footprint to the new
voice and visuals. This
includes website and social
media as well as the club’s
Rotary Bulletin and Brochure.
Ward will also lead the com-
mittee in assisting clubs in
developing the use of electron-
ic and social media.
The goal is to measurably
improve the overall voice
and visual Identity within the
Rotary’s 5110 District.
Wells has also been
accepted to the Rotary Young
Professional Summit this year,
a
distinction
given
to only three Rotarians
per district and hosted by
Zones 25 and 26.
The summit will allow lead-
ers to come together to
exchange ideas and take
action.
The Young Professionals
Summit will give approximate-
ly two to three of these leaders
per
district
in
Rotary Zones 25 and 26 a
unique opportunity to share
their thoughts, reflect on
their stories and exchange
ideas.
In addition, as a part of this
summit, young leaders will
work with the leadership with-
in their Rotary district to create
a plan of how to make current
and new Rotary clubs more
relevant to the needs, desires
and purposes of younger pro-
fessionals.
“Sadie is always upbeat,
enthusiastic, outgoing, person-
able and principled,” local
Rotary president Crystal
Farnsworth said of Ward. “She
has more experience as a busi-
nesswoman than many people
decades older than she is. As
Best Selling Author
and Bible Teacher
BETH MOORE
Saturday, Sept. 12
8:30am-3:15pm
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Please join us at Cross Road Assembly of God,
1380 10th St in Florence Oregon for a live
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Th e event will feature life-transforming Bible
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Raffl e opportunities and door prizes.
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• Steam Cleaning
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• Upholstery
• Urine Extraction
• Water Restoration
Ned is a syndicated columnist
with News Media Corporation.
His book, “Humor at the Speed of
Life,” is available online at Port
Hole Publications, Amazon Books
and Barnes & Noble. Write to him
at nedhickson@icloud.com
LIVING PROOF LIVE SIMULCAST
her immediate successor as
Rotary president, I respect her
as a resource and appreciate
her support.
“She is the perfect choice
for the Young Professional
Leadership Summit.
“I know that she will do a
wonderful job in her district
assignment.”
Sadie Ward displays her
name tag as the Rotary
District 5110 Public Image
and
Education
chair-
woman.
would bolster our relation-
ship with the Taiwanian
people,” said Duncan, who
underscored his statement
by pointing to a map of
Japan.
So, how will all this affect
our children’s education?
I honestly don’t know.
But I’m sure, eventually,
everything will be just Pee
Chee.
Tickets $20 (prepaid by Sept. 8th)
or $25 at the door.
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