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SIUSLAW NEWS ❚ WEDNESDAY, APRIL 8, 2015
Accepting your dog’s snoring problem could save your life
However, at 11 years old,
Ned
his snoring now sounds like a
Hickson 250-pound man sleeping-off
At three o’clock this morn-
ing I propped myself up on
my elbows, removed my ear
plugs, looked directly at our
dog and delivered the follow-
ing ultimatum:
This has to STOP!
My wife turned to me and
quietly said I’d need to speak
up if I wanted to be heard
over the dog’s snoring.
Admittedly, it was my
bright idea to have Stanley
sleep in our room. That’s
because, when he was a
puppy, he was prone to chew
up things we might leave out
overnight.
Such as the living room or
kitchen.
a three-day bender. Part of
Stanley’s problem is genetics.
Being half Sharpei, he has a
lot of loose skin and wrinkles.
He essentially looks like a
chocolate Labrador in need of
ironing. In desperation, we
took him to the vet, who told
us that the loose skin around
his face causes him to snore.
I’m not sure why he told us
this, but I think there’s a good
chance Stanley has the same
problem.
Therefore, it made sense
that some of the same meth-
ods used to treat snoring peo-
ple might also work on dogs.
At least it made sense at
three in the morning, when I
started digging through the
medicine cabinet in search of
Breathe-Right Strips. One
thing I discovered right away
is that these strips, while
strong enough to flare even
the largest set of human nasal
passages, are no match for the
elasticity of your standard
pair of dog lips.
The result was a series of
fixed snarls which, if not for
his wagging tail, would have
been extremely frightening.
Next, I tried a throat spray
specially formulated to stop
snoring. According to the
label, Snoreless provides
“immediate results” by lubri-
cating the throat and sur-
rounding tissues, which often
vibrate together and lead to
chronic snoring.
I don’t know about all that,
but I can tell you that our dog
immediately yakked on the
floor at supersonic speed
thanks to his freshly lubricat-
ed uvula.
While cleaning up dog
vomit at 4:30 a.m., I decided
to call it quits. This decision
came out of concern for
Stanley’s emotional well-
being, after I reasoned there’s
a chance that having his lips
taped back and being made to
vomit in the middle of the
night by the ones he loves
could spell trouble later on.
I know this because, as a
pet owner, I have educated
myself about my animals.
I am aware of their physi-
cal needs.
I am aware of their emo-
tional needs.
I am also aware that in the
past 12 months five people
have been shot by their own
dogs.
This was brought to my
Silver Lining gallery features Hefty art
The Gallery Above Silver
Lining Boutique will feature
the oil paintings of local artist
Bob Hefty during the month of
April.
Hefty’s work is in the non-
objective category, with many
shapes and colors — but no
recognizable images. Hefty
doesn’t try to imitate the work
of other artists; he produces
bold works that are pleasing to
the eye with unique imagry.
All of the paintings featured
in the show will be available
for purchase. There may even
be some free pieces available.
A reception for Hefty will be
held during the Second
Saturday Art Tour on April 11,
from 3 to 5 p.m. Visitors can
also stop in at the gallery any-
time during Silver Lining’s
regular business hours.
attention by Audrey
Strausenberg of Grand
Rapids, Mich., who sent sev-
eral articles detailing this dis-
turbing trend. The most recent
incident took place in New
Zealand, where hunter Kelly
Russell was shot in the foot
by his dog “Stinky,” who,
authorities said, had no appar-
ent motive other than being
called “Stinky” for the last six
years.
And for those of you who
think this only happens with
testy little dogs, think again.
Last November, Joseph
Tiffany of Grant, Neb., was
shot in the ankle when his
golden retriever (and I swear
this is an actual quote),
“Accidentally stepped on the
shot gun, released the safety,
and pressed the trigger.”
Finally, there’s the case of
a 51-year-old man hunting
near Stuttgart, Germany, who
was shot to death while stand-
ing next to his car.
Police ruled out suicide,
and said that the shot gun
must have gone off when the
dog “accidentally” removed
the safety, loaded it with
shells, and then fired twice
through an opening in the
door frame.
In light of all this, should I
somehow manage to get our
dog to stop snoring,
I doubt I'll be able to sleep
anyway.
Ned is a syndicated columnist
with News Media Corporation.
His book, “Humor at the Speed of
Life,” is available online at Port
Hole Publications, Amazon Books
and Barnes & Noble. Write to him
at nedhickson@icloud.com
VOLUNTEERS
WANTED
Saturday, May 9th, 2015 from 6:45 am to approximately 1 pm.
COURTESY PHOTO
This and other artwork by Bob Hefty will be featured dur-
ing a reception at Silver Lining on April 11.
D EADLINE FOR P RESS R ELEASES I S E VERY M ONDAY AND T HURSDAY
BY N OON . E MAIL P RESS R ELEASES @T HE S IUSLAW N EWS . COM .
Safety, caring and integrity are priorities at Dunes City Hall and Best in the
West Events, so come out, get involved and have a great time.
Th e commitment is only one day and all volunteers will receive a free t-shirt
and enjoy the day supporting these wonderful athletes.
Th is year we will award a monetary donation of $250.00 to the organization
that recruits the most volunteers.
Th is can be a civic club, athletic club, homeowners association or similar
type of group. PLEASE don’t forget to include your organization’s name when
registering. If your group has the most volunteers present on May 9th, your
organization will be awarded a $250.00 check!
TO VOLUNTEER CONTACT Volunteer Coordinator, Renee Green at
Dunes City Hall, 541-997-3338 or permits@dunescityor.com. Or come by
Dunes City Hall, 82877 Spruce Street, Westlake, and get signed up in person.
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