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About Wallowa chieftain. (Joseph, Union County, Or.) 1884-1909 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 4, 1902)
i?i.7 ? AA A ? ? sTs ? ? A A A A 2 5 : A STUDY SCARLET BY A. CONAN DOYLE-. PAKT II Chapter VI Continued. ! "He pazed at me with bleared, drunken eyes for a moment, and then I saw a horror spring up in them and convulse his whole features, which showed me that he knew use. 'I had always known that von-; geance would be sweet, but had never hoped for the contentment of soul which now possessed me. "You dog!' I said. '1 have hunted you iiom Salt Lake City to Si. Pet ersburg, and you have always escaped me. Xow at las: your wanderings have come to an end. for either you or I shall never see tomorrow's sun rise." "He shrank still further away as I spoke, and I could see on his face that he thought 1 was mad. So I was for the time. The pulses in my teni pies beat like sledgehammers, and I believe I would have had a fit of some sort if the blood had not gushed from my rose and relieved me. j "He staggered back with a livid face, and I saw the perspiration break out upon his brow, while his teeth chat tered. At tne sight. I leaned my back against the door aud laughed loud and ; long. 1 " 'What do you think of Lucy Fer-' rier now?' I cried, locking the doorj and shaking the key in his face. 'Pun- lshment has been slow in coming, but ; it has overtaken you at last.' j "I saw his coward lips tremble as I ' spoke. He would have begged for his life, but he knew well tnat It was use- j less. ! '"Would you murder me?' he stam-; mered. j " 'There Is no murder.' I answered. 1 'Who talks of murdering a mad dog? What mercy had you upon my poor darling when you dragged her from ' her slaughtered father and bore her ; away to your accursed and shameless j harem?' " 'It was not I who killed her father,' he cried. " 'But it was you who broke her in-! nocent heart.' I shrieked, thrusting the box before him. 'Let the high God ! judge between us. Choose and eat ' There is death in one and life in the other. I shall take what you leave. Let us see if there is justice upon the 1 earth, or if we are ruled oy chance.' "He cowered away with wild cries and prayers for mercy, but I drew my j knife and held it to his tnroat until he ; had obeyed me. I "Then I swauowed the other, and j we stood facing each other in silence i for a minute or more, waiting to see I which was to live and which was to; die. "Shall I ever forget the look which came over his face when the first warning pangs told him that the pois on was in his system? I laughed as ; I Eaw it, and held Lucy's marriage ring in front of his eyes. "It was but for a moment, for the ; action of the alkaloid is rapid. A j spasm of pain contorted his features; he threw his hands out in front of him. staggered and then, with a ' hoarse cry, fell heavily upon the floor. "I turned him over with my foot ; and placed my hand upon his heart. There was no movement. He was , dead! , "The blood had ben streaming from my nose, but I had taken no no tice of it. I don't know what it was j that put it into my head to write up-1 on the wall with it. "Perhaps it was some mischievous J idea of putting the police upon a j wrong track, for I felt light hearted l and cheerful. I remembered a Ger-! man being found in New Y'ork with i 'racho' written up above him. and It j was argued at the time in the news- j papers that the secret societies must have done it. "I guc-ssed that what puzzled the New Yorkers would puzzle the Lon doners, so I dipped my finger In my own blood and printed it on a conven ient place on the wall. "Then I walked down to my cab and found that there w-as nobody about, and that the night was still very wild. I had driven some dis tance, when I put my uand into the pocket in which I usually kept Lucy, ring, and found that it was not there. "I was thunderstruck at this, for it was the only memento that I had "f her. Thinking that I might have dropped It when I stooped over Dreb ber's body, I drove back, and leaving my cab in a side street, I went boldly up to the house for I was ready to dare anything rather than lose the ring. "When I arrived there I walked right into the arms of a police officer who wad coming out, and only man aged to disarm his suspicions by pro tending to be hopelessly drunk. "That was how Enocn Drebber came to his end. All I bad to do then was to do as much for Stangerson, and so pay off John Ferrier's debt. "I.kn- m that he was staying at Hal liday's private hotel, and I hung about, all day but he never came out, I fjcy that he suspected something wh!i Drebber failed to put In an ap-p?-a.fanee. "He was cunning, was Stangerson, and always on his guard. If he thought he could keep me off by stay ing in doors he was very much mis taken. I soon found out which was the window of his bedroom, and early next morning I took advantage of some ladders which were lying in the lane behind the hotel, and so made my way into his room in the gray of the dawn. "I woke him up and told him that the hour had come when he was to answer for the life he uad taken so long before. I described Drebber's death to him, and I gave him the same choice of the poisoned pills. Instead of grasping at the chance of safety which that offered him, he sprang from his bed and flew at my tnroat. In self-defense I stabbed him to the heart. It would have been the same in any case, for Providence would never have allowed his guilty hand to pick out anything but uie poison. ? A?s??nSnSt A i! A iTSnS AAA "! I I "I have little more to say, and It's as well, for 1 am about done up. I went on cabbing It for a day or so. intending to keep at it until I coull save enough to take me back to America. "I was standing In the yard when a ragged youngster asked if there was a cabby there called Jefferson Hope, and said that his cab was wanted by a gentleman at 221 H Baker street. "I went round, suspecting no harm, and the next thing I knew, this young man here had the bracelets on my wrists, and as neatly shackled as ever I was in n"' life. "That's the whole of my story, gen tlemen. Y'ou may consider me to be a murderer, but I hold that I am just as much an officer of justice as you are." So thrilling had the man's narra tive been, and his manner was so im pressive, that we had sat silent and absorbed. "There is only one point on which I should like a little more informa tion." Sherlock Holmes said at last "Who was your accomplice who came for the ring which I advertised?" The prisoner winked at my friend jocosely. "I can tell my own secrets." he said, "but I don't get other people in to trouble. I saw your advertisement, and I thought it roi;ht be a plant, or It might be the rlug I wanted. My friend volunteered to go and see. I think you'll own he did it smartly." "Not a doubt of that," said Holmes, heartily. "Xow, gentlemen," the inspector re marked, gravely, "the forms of the law must be complied with. On Thursday the prisoner will be brought before the magistrates, and your at tendance will be required. Until then I will be responsible for him." CHAPTER VII. We had all been warned to appear before the magistrates upon the Thursday; but when the Thursday came there was no occasion for our testimony. A higher judge haa taken the mat ter in hand, and Jefferson Hope had been summoned before a tribunal where strict justice would be meted out to him. On the very night after his capture the aneurism burst, and he was found in the morning stretched upon the floor of the cell, with a placid smile upon his face, as though he had been able in his dying moments to look back upon a useful life, and on werk w-ell done. "Gregson and Lestrade will be wild about his death." Holmes remarked, as we chatted It over next morning. "Where will their grand advertise ment be now?" "I don't see that they had very much to do with his capture," I an swered. "What you do in this world Is a matter of no consequence." returned my companion, bitterly. "The ques tion is, what can you make people j believe that you have done? Never j mind," he continued, more brightly, j after a pause, "I would not have nis3ed the investigation for anything. There has been no better case with in my recollection. Simple a3 it was. there were several riost instructive roints about It." "I have already explained to you that what is out of the common is us ually a guide rather than a hindrance. In solving a problem of this sort, the grand thing is to be able to reason backward. That is a very useful ac complishment and a very easy one, but people do not practice it much. Ir. the every day affairs of life it is more useful to reason forward, and so the other comes to be neglected. There are fifty who can .-eason syn thetically for one who can reason an alytically." "Now, this was a case In which you were given the result and had to find everything else for yourself. Now, let me endeavor to show you the dif ferent steps in my reasoning. To be gin at the beginning. I approached the house, as you know, on foot, and with my mind entirely free from all Impressions. I naturally begun by examining the roadway, and there, as I have already explained to you, I saw clearly the marks of a cab, which, I ascertained by inquiry, must have been made there during the night. I satisfied myself that It was a cab and not a private carriage by the narrow gauge of the wheels. The ordinary London growler Is considerably less wide than a gentleman's brougham. "That was the first point gained. I then walked slowly down the garden path, which happened to be composed of a clay soil, peculiarly suitable for taking Impressions. No doubt It ap peared to you to be a mere trampled line of slush, but to my trained eyes every mark upon Its surface had a meaning. "I saw the heavy footmarks of the constables, but I saw also the tracks of the two men who had first passed through the garden. It was easy to tell that they had been before the others, because In places their marks had been entirely obliterated by the others coming upon the top of them. "On entering the house this last in ference was confirmed. My well-booted man lay before me. The tall one, then, had done the murder. If murder there was. "There was no wound upon the dead man's person, but the agitated expression upon his face assured me that he had foreseen his fate before It came upon him. Men who die from heart disease or any sudden natural cause never by any chance exhibit agitation upon their features. "Having sniffed the dead man's lips, I detected a slightly sour smell, and I came to the conclusion that he had had poison forced upon him. Again I argued that It had been forced upon him, from the hatred and fear ex- 'pressed upon his face. "By the method of exclusion I ar rived at this result, for no other hy pothesis would meet the facU. Do not imagine that it was a very unheard-of idea. The forcible adminis tration of poison is by no means a new thing In criminal annals. The cases of Dolsky, in Odessa, and of Leturler. In Montpeller. will occur at once to any toxicologist. "And now came the great question as to the reason why. Robbery had not been the object of the murder, for nothing was taken. Was it politics, then, or was It a woman? "It must have been a private wrong, and not a political one. which called for such a methodical revenge. When the Inscription was discovered upon the wall I was more Inclined than ever to my opinion. "The thing was too evidently a blind. When the ring was found, however, it settled the question. Clearly the murderer has used It ;o remind his victim of some dead or ab sent woman. "I had already come to the conclu sion, since there were no signs of a struggle, that the blood which covered the tloor had burst from the murder's nose in his excitement "I could perceive tha the track of blood coincided with tl.u track of his ; feet It Is seldom that any man. un j less he Is very full-blooded, breaks j -ut in this way through emotion, so I i hazarded the opinion that the criminil 'was probably a robust and ruddy- iaeea man. Events proved that I judged correctly. "Having left the house, I proceeded to do what Gregson had neglected. 1 telegraphed to the head of the police at Cleveland, limiting my inquiry to the circumstances connected with" the marriage of Enoch Drebber. The an swer was conclusive. "It told me that Drebber had ap plied for the protection of the law against an old rival in love, named Jefferson Hope, and that this same Hope w-as at present in Europe. I knew now that I held the clew to the mystery in my hand, and all that re mained was to secure the murderer. "I had already determined in my own mind that the man who had walked into the house with Drebber was none other than the man who had driven the cab. "The marks in the road showed me that the horse had wandered on in a way which would have been impossi ble had there been any one in charge of it. "Where, then, could the driver be. unless he were Inside the house? Again, it is absurd to suppose that any sane man would carry out a de liberate crime under the very eyes, as It were, of a third person, who was sure to betray him. "Lastly, supposing one man wished to dog another through London, what better means could be adopted than turn cab driver? All these considera tions led me to the irresistible conclu sion that Jefferson Hope was to oe found among the jarveys of the me tropolis. "If he had been one there was n reason to believe that he had ceased to be. On the contrary, from his point of view, any sudden change would be likely to draw attention to himself. "He would probably, for a time at least, continue to perform his duties. There was no reason to suppose that he was going under an assumed name. "Why should he change his name in a country where no one knew his original one? I therefore organized my street arab detective corps, and sent them systematically to every cab proprietor in London until they ferreted out the man that I wanted. "How well they succeeded and how quickly I took advantage of It are still fresh in your recollection. The mur der of Stangerson was an incident which w-as entirely unexpected, but which could hardly In any case have been prevented. "Through it, as you know. I came into possession of the pills, the exist ence of which I had already surmised. You see. the whole thing is a chain of logical sequences without a break or flaw." "It Is wonderful!" I cried. "Your merits should be publicly recognized. You should publish an account of the case. If you wont. I will for you." "Y'ou may do what you like, doctor." he answered. "Se here!" he con tinued, handing a paper over to me; "look at this!" It was the Echo for the day. and the paragraph to which he pointed was devoted to the case In question. "The public," it said, have lost a sensational treat through the sudden death of the man Hope, who was sus pected of the murder of Mr. Enoch Drebber and of Mr. Joseph Stanger son. "The details of the case will prob ably never be known now, though we are Informed upon good authority that the crime was the result of an old-standing and romantic feud. In which love and Mormonism bore a part. "It seems that both the victims be longed. In their younger days, to the Latter-Day Saints, and Hope, the de ceased prisoner, halls also from Salt Lake City. If the case had had no other effect. It at least brings out in the most striking manner the effic iency of our detective force, and will serve as a lesson to all foreigners that they will do wisely to settle their feuds at home, and not to carry them on to British soil. "It is an open secret that the credit of this smart capture belongs entirely to the well-known Scotland Yard of ficials, Messrs. Lestrade and Gregson. The man was apprehended, It appears, in the rooms of a certain Mr. Sher lock Holmes, who has himself, as an amateur, shown some talent in the detective line, and who, with such in structors, may hope in time to attain some degree of their skill. "It Is expected that a testimonial of some sort will be presented to the two officers as a 'fitting recognition of their services." "Didn't I tell you so when we start ed?" cried Sherlock Holmes, with a laugh. "That's the result of all our Study In Scarlet to get them a testi monial!" "Never mind," I answered; "I have all the facts in my journal, and tho public shall know them. In the mean time you must make yourself con tented by the consciousness of suc cess, like the Roman miser " 'Populus me slbllat, at mihl plaudo Ipse doml slnul ac nummos con templar In area." THE END. Rhadinc the Ptuhlra. Where It is the custom to keep the horses and cows In the stables at night and also for a portion of the day some provision should be made for shade as well as for keeping out flies. Tho plan showu in the illustration has the merit of Indus simple as well as effectual. Cover the opening with tine wire net ting, placing it so that it will not inter fere with the management of the glass window from the Inside. Then make a frame with light strips of lumber of the form shown, and cover it with can vas, or with a strip of unbleached mus lin, bracing It at either corner as shown. This device is readily mnde and will add greatly to the comfort of the animals In the stable. The same arrangement could le applied to the window spaces of tho poultry house and In such a position It would not be necessary to use the line wire screen for the wire netting of ordinary mesh would keep out intruders. Illinois Apple Orchards. Emerson Hancock gives Green's Fruit Grower Information in regard to orcharding in Illinois as follows: All apple orchard syndicate iu Clay ami Richland Counties has sold the apples of Its orchards, which aggregate three hundred and twenty acres, for $11,500. This fruit is from young orchards just coming into bearing. There are one hundred and twec.'y acres planted with 3.3IHJ Jonathan apple trees. Jonathan Is highly prized for its hardiness, pro ductiveness and the fine quality of its fruit The best apple orchards of Illi nois are on the southern border, em bracing seventy-five thousand acres of apple orchards, mostly planted during I the past ten or twelve years. This is ; the first general crop from these oreh ! nrds. One thousand acre of apple I orchards may be seen near Flora, 111., and the free there are heuvily laden with tine fruit this season. Hen Da vis is the variety most largely grown, j Tiie problem now is to get enough la ', borers to harvest the fruit from such a I vast acreage of apple orchards, and to ! secure apple barrels for such hi orch 1 ards. Three hundred and tiiir'y car I loads of empty apple barrels hae ro ! cently been shipped Into this hx-aHty, ! and nine large evaporators have been built near Flora, with a capacity for each of one hundred and fifty bush els of fruit per day. A cold storage house, with a capacity of 4.".ikh) bar rels of apples, has been built at Flora i Uils year. Fit Bruhinr Fruit. The fmit brusher is a comparative newcomer except in California. The necessity of clean, polished oranges and the expense of brushing by band ! brought it Into being there. Now, brushing, which has already been a ; habit with some packers, is becoming A FBCIT BnUSIlKIt. more necessary on account of the wide spread of white fly and other insects causing smut It Is not only expensive, but difficult to pet nt short rw.tl v, number of men necessary to hand Drusn a car or oranges. With a brush er. It Is claimed, one man can do the work of several. Florida Agricultur ist Economical Pork Prod action. Economical pork production Is based largely on the selection of good breed ing stock from year to vear. Thl must be combined with intelligent leeumg. lue most common error 1 that of neglecting little pigs nt tlm of wennlng. Pigs stunted at this time of life never make profitable pork. One should bnndle his hogs so as to have them ready for market at from sir tn eight months, weighing at this time from 200 to 223 pounds. In spite of the fact that corn Is frequently de nounced as a hog food. It cannot be denied that It is the best and cheapest food that Is available on Western farms. Green feed, such as rane. do ver and alfalfa, are not sufficiently used as foods for growing hogs. These foods not only supply nutrients that z highly Important, but they serve A STABLE MOThCTlO.V 7 to rive variety to the ration, a factor that Is very Important and one that to frequently overlooked. As one writer puta it squealing hogs are not profit able hogs Iowa Homestead. Valus of Rmall Fruits. Not til farmers seem to know the value of small fruits to a family when grown In their own gardens. Yxw com mence with strawberries; they continue about a month. You pick porhnps from six to twelve quarts a day. You have them on the table. If you please, at breakfast dinner and tea, and you want little else except broad and but ter. Iu one way or another the family consumes about eight quarts a day, and while they last no medicines for bodily ailments are required, as a quart of strawberries dally will generally dis pel all ordinary diseases not perman ently In the system. After strawber ries come raspberries, and they last alnuit three weeks. Then we have blackberries, the cultivated varieties. Next currants rimui. nnd they remain until early grapes mature. So, taking : the season through any family with ' hair nn acre of land In a garden can i grow small fruits that make country life delightful mul nt the mme tiina : save hundreds of dollars In table sup plies. Home anu i-arm. In Place of Bllo. Not every farmer has a silo or a corn shredding machine. They cost too much for the man who has but two or three cows. But he can pick the ears from his corn stover anil have the grain ground, and the cob, too, if he bo wishes, then have the stover well cured in the field, nnd when bo takes it to the barn have It cut Into pieces not more tiian n half Inch long and shorter if possible. Then moisten It with warm water If such is conven ient to the cow stables and cover It up to steam for twenty-four hours at least before feeding. Put on each cow's ration as much nnd such grain as her condition calls frr, and If sho does not do as well as she would ou ensilage she will do better than on dry corn stover. If obliged to wot It with cold water. It will be better for stand ing forty-eight hours, to germinate a llrtle heat by fermentation. American Cultivator. A IIunilT Foflder Stuck. now best to stack corn fodder to eep nnd be handiest in gertlnz nt when feeding Is often a question given much thought by the fanner. This method liossesses ninny advantages that will recommend It above others: Set two p wis twelve or sixteen feet apart where you wish the stack to be. Across from one to the other, four nnd a half or live feet from the ground, spike a 2 by 4. Stand the fodder against tills with the buns on the ground ami the smaller ends coming together at the top. There should be a space of two or three feet at the bot tom. This will give the rat, dog and cat an opiHirtunity to keep the stack clear of mice. This stack will turn tl rain nnd snow of winter, will keep dry and bright and when used will not be opened to the weather, as no stalks are left exited by removing the top. Farm Journal. lown lloric fnles. At the big sale of range horses at Sioux City good prices were obtained. The top figure was $Ci0.r0, which was paid for a load of good, heavy, blocky geldings and mares of till colors. The draft horses ranged from $50 to ?l0, general purpose horses from $:.- to $45.:,!), yearlings and 2-year-olds from $12.",o to ?2ii, and sucking colts from $U to National Stockman. Prevention of Frnit Rot. As a precaution against the fruit rot of peaches u mummified fruits should oe garnered anil destroyed In the win ter or early spring, and at nleklnir fen- son no decayed fruit nhould be allowed to remain on the trees or on the ground in the orchard, but It should be irath. ered and burned as soon as noticed. Farm Notes. Sklmmllk for hogs ami the big profit In k Is all the talk now. Ohio Is a clover growlnir Rrnte. Tt also becoming an alfalfa growing orate. The market for coarse flax nhnr u almost unlimited, according to a West ern grower. A recent clrculaT of the United States Department of Agriculture defines the laws regulating Interstate shipment of birds and game. The agricultural building of the St Louis world's fair Is reported as plan ned to cover twenty-two acres and the palace of horticulture seven and a half acres. The attendant who enters the stable to milk a cow with a pipe in his mouth Is not the proper man to perforin that duty. Milking should be regarded as the cleanest and most Important work on a dairy farm, as milk not only ab sorbs odors, but Is also quickly af fected by any foreign substance. Hundreds of horses are ruined every year because they are not given water when they require it There may be regular times for watering, but rules cannot safely be made to govern the duty. On warm days, when the horses perspire freely, they give off from their bodies large quantities of moist ure, and should be watered often even If allowed but a small quantity at a The young nnltaal pays more than the adult because rt grows and In creases rapidly; the younger the anl mal the lower the cost of production A pig farrowed in early spring and marketed late in the fall will give a much larger profit than will one kent through the winter. There Is also a great demand, with better prices for a email carcass, weight not exceed ing 150 pounds being preferred to un animal that is heavier. She He declares he loves the very ground I tread upon. He Ah! thought he had his eyes on the estate. Harvard Lampoon. Subhubs Why are you sneaking into the house so quietly? Commute Sa-h! The cook has company, and I do not wish to disturb them. ' "I can safely say that no man ever attempted to bribe me, gentlemen." "Don't be down-hearted, old chap; your luck may change." Cltiman I see you raise your own vegetables. Suburbanite No! I sim. ply plant a small garden so as to keep the chickens at homo. Life. nnnoy you with all these1 questions. His Fair Client Not at all." I'm used to It I have a 0-yenr-old son. He I fancy men believe In friend- snip rather more thnn women do. She Possibly, but the great trouble Is Ifi generally their own friendship they be lieve In. Wlseum Honestly, now, did yon lenrn anything while you were In col lege? Graduate Um-m well, I learn ed how to state my Ignorance In scien tific terms. "Is your family fond of cereals, Mr. Jumpup?" "Oh, very! we're reading Beveral In the Parlor Portfolio now, nnd can't hardly wait from week to week." Philadelphia Bulletin. Cassldy Shtop klckln' about yer hard luck, man! Rome mornln' ye'U wake up an' find yerscl' famous. Casey Faith, O'll bet ye whin that mornln' comes 'twill be me luck to overslnpe Diesel'. Mrs. Hiram Offen I hope you wash ed the fish thoroughly before you put In on tlm broiler, Delia. Delia Shure, what would be the use of thot ma'am? Hasn't It been llvln' In the water all Its lolfe? Philadelphia Press. "Ob, well, my dear," observed he to his wife, "you will find that there are a great mnny worse men In the world than I am." "How can you be to cynical, John?" replied his wife ts- L.0..1,-- O 1 proiicni liny, Syracuse ueraiu. Silas So Zcke won't have anything but firHt-class literature? Cyrus No. ' Why, he wouldn't even subscribe to a magazine because he saw "Entered as second-clnss matter" on the front page." Superintendent It Is our usual cus tom to let a prisoner work at the same trade In here as he did outside. Now, what Is your trade? Shoemaker, blacksmith or "Please, sir, I was a traveling salesman." Constance I am going out In Algy's launch. Penelope But naphtha launch es are very dnngerous. Constance I know It. Put Algy gave me the choice of either going out with him on his naphtha launch or his sailboat "I see a crank out West announces his Invention of a 'theater hat for la dles that will shut up when the cur tain rises.' " "If he'd only invent a box party that would do thnt he'd de serve a medal." Philadelphia Press. "Here's a letter from Mlrandy at col lege. She says she's In love with Ping Pong." "She Is, hey? Well, she'd bet ter give him up. We nin t goin ter stand fer no Chinaman marrying inter this family." Woman's Home Com panion. .Mr. Skinner You'll have to wait a while for your wnges this week. I can't pay you to-day. Clerk See here, ! uow, that won't do, sir. I've got to ! live, you know. Mr. Skinner Non i sense! What put that Idea Into your j bend. Chicago Tribune. Lady (to furniture clerk) I like the Louis XIV. aud the Louis XVI. designs equally well. It wouldn't do. I sup pose, to have both chairs In the par lor? Clerk Oh. yes, madam; they would harmonize well only two years difference, you see. Judge. Teacher (to class In geography) And who knows what the people who live In Turkey are called? Class (unan imously) Turks! Teacher Bight Now, who can tell me what those living In Austria are called. Little Boy Please, mum, I know. Ostriches! Judge. j Hasty Harry W'at youse flshln' here wldout any bait for? Don't ro is know dat fish won't eat a bare be . -Strenuous Stove (scornfully) Wat! Don't youse see dat If de fish ooa't bite I ain't got to go to de troule o' takln' 'era off'n d' hook. Where's yes perfeshlonal Instinct? "Oh, maw," said the 10-year-old hopeful, "do you see how wet my clothes are?" "Yes, young man," spoke mamma, sternly, "and you have been In swimming." "No, maw." "Then how did you get wet?" "Why, some boys wanted me to go In swim ming, and I ran away so fast I P" spired." "Young man," said the Irish magis trate, as a youthful prisoner was brought before him. "I would advise you to make a full confession if yJJ want to get off with a light sentence "And if I don't confess, then what?' asked the young man. "Oh, In that event." replied the magistrate. "I shall probably have to acquit you for want of evidence." The First-Born: "Yes, It took my wife and me and my mother and my wife's mother and two sisters and an old aunt of mine nnd half a dozen of our cousins to pull our first baby through till It was 2 years old." "Ana y did the little one become stronger by that time?" "No, we had another by that time, and came out of the dream." Chicago Record-Herald,