Image provided by: University of Oregon Libraries; Eugene, OR
About Wallowa chieftain. (Joseph, Union County, Or.) 1884-1909 | View Entire Issue (June 26, 1902)
WALLOWA CHIEFTAIN. KOI SK ROE, Publisher. ENTERPRISE OREGON. A woman" head may soon adorn a postage stamp. Man is no longer it. Thi' question of r,ex never appear so jriiraiit it- to a man as when he siarts out in search of a servant girl. The recent death of the anther of "Hen Holt" lias started the oM song on Its last annual farewell tour. When the truth about war conies out It is like the measles. disagreeable but better thus than if It muck in. Mr. Stoad will donate to the Britisn museum the pipe Used by Mr. Kilodes In his "devout dreaming." as Mr. Kip ling terms It. William Waldorf Astor has Riven $lMi.rm to an F.uglish university, but when last heard from lie was still waiting for that title. How customs change. With a single rotable exception, the hotels of Chicago will be conducted hereafter on the Eu ropean plan exclusively. A Southern man advertises for a lost cow with one horn that gives milk." There would be more money for her in a museum than in the dairy. "What makes novels popular?" in quires the Washington Post. Clever authors. Nothing else can. although advertising sometimes helps. Reports from New York are to the effect that Mayor Low has about made up his mind that it is a waste of energy to try to please all the people all the time. Miss Stone attributes her release from the brigands to the efficacy of prayer. The brigands, however, prob ably take a mure materialistic view of it. The fact that F.ugluud has taken about .4i iii.i icu i.i ii i i down to South Afri ca ami burned it up makes the taxpayer grunt a bit as he gets his shoulder un der tlie load. The Chicago woman who wanted a divorce because her husband quoted poetry to her has been defeated In court. It really begins to look as if poetry and the poets were coming to the front. An Indiana man has a box of cigars that his wife gave him as a Christmas present thirty-nine years ago. He 6eems to have ever since been endeavor ing to jack his courage up to the point necessary to tackle them. Marie Twain has bought n ?50.000 home. Mark has of late scolded about as much he has been funny. He would confer a great favor upon the humor ists all over our broad land by explain ing whether he got the price of the place by being cross or gay. Is the fountain of youth to be found in a berry patch? The Anamese believe that strawberries will make old people young. The theory would raise strong er hopes in the average mind were it not that the Anamese also hold that a rabid dog can. by biting the shadow of a man. communicate hydrophobia to bim. The search for the fount must continue. Tommy Atkins may be an absent minded beggar, but he is not a forget ful one. In the past year lit that is. the British soldiers In South Africa sent five million dollars in postal or ders to relatives at home, and this de spite the fact that he is on pretty small pay. Such thriftiiiess proves that, al though he may not be invincible In the field, he can win victories over his own appetites and temptations and that is to be the best kind of soldier. There Is a type of hero that the condi tlous of modern life have deevloped, and which seems destined to prove that knighthood is far from going to seed and is, in fact, still in tiower. This Is the elevator hero, the man or boy who when the (ire liend rages keeps to his post and performs his duties. One nat urally expects that a captain will stick to his ship and that an engineer will be true to his engine, but no such re sponsibility rests upon the elevator man, whom many might think justified in deserting his place. Yet how fre quently one reads of his braving the perils of an ascent into smoke and flam".s and of being the means of sav ing hundreds of panic-stricken human beings. The life of an elevator man, un enviable In Its seeming monotony and dreariness, seems little calculated to develop heroism, but this quality often appears in unexpected places, or rather in unsuspected persons. Men who have not yet decided in their minds whether they ought to remove their hats in an elevator In deference to feminine occu pants might be on the safe side should they uncover to the possible hero that lurks in every elevator man. The distressing discomforts and dis advantages of being rich have been ex patiated upon by the votaries of penury from time Immemorial. Poverty gazes pitifully through the burred windows of wealth and perceives its depriva tions and limitations. The poor have the boundless freedom of nature with all Its unrestrained abandon; the rich are hemmed in by the circumstances of opulence, restricted In their enjoy ments to the very things they possess. In this view may be found the conso lation of poverty. In an address be fore the Society for the Study of Life in the Tuxedo, in New York, Percival Chubb summed up In a very Interesting and original way the "misfortunes of the children of the wealthy." Mr. Chubb Is reduced almost to tears as he contemplates the pitiful cleanliness of the children of the rich, their "anaemic primness"' and their deprivations In the way of mud pies and other possessions that delight the soul of a child. "A good roll In the mud Is what they need," says Percival Chubb.' Mud ple-. he declares, would be their "salvation." There Is no doubt that this question of mud is sadly neglected in most homes of the rich. We doubt If there Is one wealthy home In fifty where there are children that has a mud pie attachment or any facilities for taking a roll iu the mud. In this way the souls of the chil dren of the rich are stunted and dwarfed. Their development Is not normal. When they grow older they will not know mud when they see it. let alone be able to handle It. In the race of life their names "will be Mud." In view of the fact that the gospel cf success is beng preached so generally, I and advice as to money-making meth-1 ods is so freely offered to young men, It is somewhat singular that compara tively little is said as to what shall be ' done with the money when It is earned. I Yet it Is doubtful If the nu.n of mod- j erate Income has a more difficult ques-1 tion to consider than that of investing j his savings so they will be safe and Shall l?ive him ,iihm rwilni1ilu rit,int ' For tliis reason an address recently de livered by Vice President Forgan of the First National l'.ank at the University of Chicago was particularly timely and interesting. Mr. Forgan advises the man who has money at his disposal to try any proposed investment by three tests: First, safety; second, profit; and. third, permanence. He cautious them against all schemes which promise to pay extravagantly high rewards in in terest or dividends and against careless Investment in industrial stocks. In com mon with most business men he seems to regard first mortgages on farm lands as one of the best real estate invest ments possible, but warns all purchas ers of mortgages to see that no prior lien rests upon the property in question. This Is all sound advice and worth the attention of prospective investors, but it is to be wished that still other pru dent and successful men of business would amplify It for the benefit espe cially of the person of limited means. The owner of a considerable fortune generally has special opportunities for finding where he can best put his mon ey. At least he can afford to pay largo commissions for expert advice. It is the man who after hard work has saved up a few hundred or a few thou sand who finds the problem most trou blesome. Naturally he desires to get the best returns possible on the sum at nis disposal. Y"et the rate of interest on in vestments is now much lower than It was a few years ago. In a majority of cases he finds himself In a dilemma be tween investments which are safe but pay a very small return and those which are more or less doubtful but promise a considerable reward. The most important fact for the small in vestor to bear In mind is that no matter how he means to make his money work for him he must watch his investment constantly. Whatever he buys mort gages, stocks, bonds or real estate he must look after It, keeping his eyes open for all changes that may affect his interests and preparing to meet them. Care and labor are required to keep money as. well as to earn It. A large proportion of the loss borne by the In vestors is due to the idea that an interest-bearing investment once made re quires no further thought or attention. "Safety and small returns" should be the watchword of all investors under ordinary conditions. STRAW "PLUG" HATS. Bell-crowned high hats, It Is believ ed will be adopted during the summer by London's smart set for their coach men. Their adoption iu this country is also regarded as probable. All grades of servants have hereto fore been provided with appropriate bead wear for hot weather service ex cepting the "man on the box." Praise for Patti. Last winter Mme. Patti was staying for a few days In an Isolated village at the extreme end of Yorkshire. To kill the monotony of the place the prima donna went one night to a concert giv en In aid of a certain village Institution. Not half of the performers turned up. Appreciating the difficulty, Mme. Patti incognita, of course offered to oblige the audience with a song or two. Then she sang. In her own glorious way, three of her sweetest ballads. At the close the chairman approached and. In solemn tones, thanked her. "Well, miss," be said, "you've done uncommon well. And although 'Arry 'Ock, the Juggler, who thinks nowt of takln' 'old of 'ot pokers and a-swallor-ln' needles, couldn't turn up, yet you've pleased us very considerable, miss." t She Worked It. Iler Father My daughter tells me that you wanted to see me. Mr. Timmld Why er there must be a mistake somewhere. She told me that you wanted to bee me. Philadel phia Tress. DO NOT HEAD DICKENS FEW YOUNG PEOPLE KNOW HIS FAMOUS CHARACTERS. Expensive Illustrated Kd it ions of Ilia Novels Are --till Frequently Culled For, but Cheap Ivditioii, Which lie token Populurity, a lruison Market "The sale of the works of IMckens has been gradually but surely dimin ishing during the last ten or fifteeu years," said a book dealer. "The fine ly bound editions are, or course, still iu fair demand by persons engaged In assembling libraries of their own, but the cheap, popular editions have for some years been more or less of a drug on the market. The young people, even those who are omnivorous readers of fiction, scarcely ever ask for a book of Dickons. "I re-read two or three of Dickens' books every year for the fun of the thing, and 1 know of plenty old fogies i.f my age who do the same. The young people who fail to familiarize themselves with Dickens deprive tliein e:ves of a lot of diversion. The Dick ers characters ure around us every where. There are very few odil or quaint eccentricities of human beings that Dickens didn't touch upon, and one who has . these characters iu the works of Dickens stored away iu his mind scarcely ever gets through a day that he doesn't meet up with some body or other in the llesh who recalls some corresponding or similar type In Dickens. Who. for instance, doesn't know any number of Mirawbers, who. like the original of the species, are al ways waiting for something to turn up'; Haven't we all been thrown Into contact with numerous Dick Swivel lers'r Hasn't every one of us with any experience In the game of life met and loathed at leaU one Pecksniff? Haven't we all been Imposed upon and bored by a Chndbaud? "And yet. if you mention the name of one of these wonderfully portrayed characters of Dickens in the presence of a roomful of young people of to-day It is ." to 1 that they will stare at you and wonder what you are driving at. Just try it on and see If I am not right. I'll just mention an example of this. My sister-in-law, a quiet, el derly woman, was humorously describ ing at dinner a few evenings ago the garrulousuess of a trained nurse whom she had employed a short time before. There were eight young men and wom en, their ages ranging from IS to and all of them considered pretty well educated for their years, at the table. " 'That nurse must have been Sairey Gamp reincarnated,' said my sister-in-law, in concluding her narration. "Well, the middle-aged and elderly folk at the table all chuckled at the j comparison, of course, but every one of ; those eight young people looked blank ly at my sister-in-law. plainly wonder ing what in the world she meant. " 'Who was Sarah Gamp?" finally asked one of the young women. "My sister-in-law, realizing the utter hopelessness of endeavoring to draw a proper portrayal of Sarah Gamp far the benefit of persons who had never become acquainted with that amiable character, was forced to recommend the young woman to read 'Martin Chuzzlewit.' The young woman sol emnly made a note of it, and she got the book from me the next day, con fessing that she had never read a soli tary work of Dickens from cover to cover. She found Dickens so dull, she said! And I have heard many young people of the present generation say the same thing that Dickens seemed stupid and prosy to them. How they can say such a thing, much less expe rience the feeling, is quite buyond me. "Thackeray, too, perhapi a keener, If less mellow, writer of fiction thau Dickens, Is sadly neglected these days. There is little or no call for his books. The uprising generation seem to have no interest whatever iu Thackeray. They all know about Becky Sharpe be cause a play written about that demi rep has been produced In recent years, but they appear to know no more about Arthur Pendennis, or Capt. Cos tlgan or Barry Lyndon, or even Henry Esmond, than they do about the char acters Iu the mystery plays of the mid dle ages. "If the young people were to devote themselves as assiduously to Dickens and Thackeray as they do to the bal derdash which seems to form their mental staple," concluded the book dealer, according to the Washington Star, "they would develop Into better men and women for It" THE SINGING VOICE. The Best Kules for Keeping It in Good Condition. The greatest choir In the world Is said (and we believe with truth) to be that attached to a monastery at St. Petersburg, erected In honor of Alex ander Nevskl, patron saint of Hussia. It consists of about thirty monks, cho sen from the best voices In all the Rus sian monasteries. It is really worth a Journey to St. Petersburg to bear that choir sing. A contemporary speaking of them announces that they believe that the eating of carrots bos much to do with sustaining the strength and sweetness of their voices. Great singers are of ten great crunks. A list filling a col umn might be made of the things which they have credited with having a fine effect upon their voices; and the list would be very contradictory, some warning others against what their equals have commended. If it be true that carrots tent to make sucb sing ers as these or to improve voices, there are many reasons why the fact should be made known in this country, where from the climate or other causes voire are undergoing an unfavorable modifi cation. Iteally fine bassos are difficult to find, and a great musical authority affirms that tenors are growing scarce. If this continues predominant voices will be of the class which a poor, lu norant woman whose husband was a good singer but very 111-teinpered, tried to describe. Being asked whether his voice was tenor or bass, she answered: "He says It is barytone, but at home It Is bear-i-tone." The best diet for the voice Is that which keeps the di- estion perfect and all the organs and uiuscies enqnojeu iu respiration uuiu- eJ. solm, olm.r occupation, WUICU will cumbered. j prove more remunerative, or which A Touching Tribute. It hoy expect will be so. We do not "The most touching compliment 1 blame them, for ambition Is the right ever received." remarked a well-known ' uf every one, and the young person soprano, the other day, "was paid to j who does not have It can scarcely ex nie by a poor old woman, who must j pert to be more prosperous, and may have amused those who heard her. 1 ; not be boosted Into a higher place even had sung two solos at the eveuing j by the efforts of others, service of a fashionable church, after I It is possible, however, to so direct which I boarded a car. The old worn-1 that ambition and encourage It as to an, whose clothes indicated great pov- j confine it to the farm, Instead of send erty. got iu and sat down beside me. j lag it behind the counter, or on an elec her face fairlv shining with pleasure as j trie or steam car, or on board a steam she recognized me. ship. We knew that the natural talent "'Lady. I want to tell you how 1 1 and the Inclination of some boys, and likes vour voice.' she exclaimed in rath-' girls also, is for a mechanical oecupa er broken F.nglisli. -It goes right to my ; tion. They can scarcely be kept from heart, and makes me so happy, just as; It. They want to be making souie if I'd heard the angels sing. 1 thank j thing with hammer and nails or needle yoxu and tltread all of the time. Others have ' "Of course I thanked her, but tl.ether tastes which lead them away funnv part was when the conductor I '''" tbe '"- ilml t0 ,mvt' ,llt'm1 l0, came for our fares. The old lady j nln there would be almost as bad counted out ten pennies before I could as imprisonment to them, pass over mv nickel. Tliiw are others whose Ideas of life "'Two: Two:' she said to him, as she 1 ofr li,ri-"''-v I'llluonced by nodded t me. '1 wants to, lady likes your voice so aiuch; I likes your voire.' "So. while I felt that perhaps the poor old soul could 111 spare her extra pennies, I let her make the sacrifice because of the evident pleasure it gave her, and no compliment I ever received has touclie.l me more deeply than her oft repeated words, 1 likes your voice.' " They I,el't. "It does me good to see a smart Aleck get the worst of It." said the communicative conductor to the man on the back platfotiu. "There were two of them on my car yesterday, and their game was to scare people Into thinking that they were just recover ing from smallpox. They talked loud ly about It for the benefit of the other passengers, and the more nervous ones, especially the women, began to grow apprehensive. "'Yes.' said one, 'mv case was pretty bad one. the doctors said.' " 'So was mine,' replied the other fellow. 'It seems good to get out of the Municipal Hospital, doesn't it?' " 'That's what it does,' said the first one. "Sitting next to them was a man who had been taking it nil In. At this point he leaned over nnd said: " 'Say. when did you fellows get out?' " 'Only yesterday,' loudly remarked one of the kidders. " 'Is that so,' exclaimed the man. 'So did I. What ward were you in?' "Well, say, those fellows jumped off the car as though It had been struck by lightning, and you couldn't see their heels for dust." Havana Street Curs. One of the principal features of the Americanizing of Havana has been the Introduction of electric cars. There were formerly about six miles of track In the capital, but the equipment, con- sisting or little, bob-tailed cars uud scrawny, undersized mules, did not conibiue to make a service worthy of enthusiastic mention. When the track was lengthened out to twenty-four miles and Wizard Edison's big electric liyers put on. all of Havana's two hun dred and fifty thousand Inhabitants wanted to ride at once. One of the pe culiarities of the service is the tenden cy of the motormeu to run ahead of the schedule. They tear through the nar row, crooked streets at a rate that Is exceedingly dangerous. The frequency of fatalities does not seem to have the desired effect These yellow fellows are strangers to the automatic brake. They have been so accustomed to driv ing steeds that have to be urged by the constant application of whip and spur, that they seem to have no fear of one that will run away. As a conse quence, the Havana street curs put the Island express trains to shame. Totems and luscottes. The totems cherished by some of the Indian tribes suggest the French mas cotte. A "totem" is the generic word for a class of material objects which a savage regards with superstitious awe, under the belief that between him and every member of the class there exists an intimate relation. The to tem may be a wolf, a beaver, a buffu lo, a salmon a snake, the wind, birch bark, the leaves of trees, the sun or the snow. But whatever it happens to be, the connection between it and Its protege Is mutually beneficial. The to tem protects the man, and the man testifies bis esteem for bis protection by not killing It should It be au aui mal, and not destroying It should It be a plant. The Plucky Baboon. One day a German truveler and his companions while In Abyssinia fell In with a band of baboons In a valley The apes all hurried uway before the travelers, all except a poor sickly crea ture, which sat upon a rock and bowled and trembled with fear. The dogs of the travelers made a rush for the spot but before they could reuch it an old baboon darted down the hillside, pick ed up Its poor companion from under the very noses of the dogs, who scatter ed rather than fight the newcomer, and carried it off. HOW KEfcT THE BOYS? GIRLS. ALSO. ARE PRONE TO LEAVE THE FARM. A Judlclonn Htudj of the Child' .Nutural Inclinations May Give the Pure lit uu Idea of the Kight Course to Pursue. Much has been said and written ui,.it the tenileiiev of the boys, and srs, too. to leave the farm and i weir reading. i eriaiu uiuj arouse an Idea that they would like to go in search of adventure among the Indians, or as bandits to hold up rail road trains, or as sailors visiting for eign countries or wrecked and living as Kohinson Crusoe did on an uninhab ited island. A few more years and a little more experience usually gives dis cretion enough to show them the folly of such dreams as these. But the farmer who desires to keep some one or more of ills children at home with him. to take up the busi ness there when he shall give it up, lias no one but himself to blame If he does not succeed in doing so. Setting aside those who have a decided me chanical or mercantile turn, and they are not many when the parent is not a "born" mechanic or trader, the others can be made to feel an interest in the farm work. There are few boys who do not love animals, at least such as they can pet. a'am' tm'.v them none the less If they can see a profit coining directly to themselves for their care of them. Most of them also like to see the crop3 grow; fruit more often than vegetables, because they can enjoy the proceeds of their labor. If a boy is given a calf or a colt, and is allowed to feel that It is his own, and that It will be so when old enough to be profitable or useful, and that he will receive the profits of It. not, us Is too often the case, the boy's calf and the father's cow when It comes to be sold, he will care for It well enough to probably make it the best animal of Its kind on the place. He may be made to pay for Its feed, and to care for it himself as he grows older, but If It Is a good one to begin with, he will find it a profit in that. A cosset lamb or a breeding sow have served the same purpose. Even better may lie a little flock of poultry, because the care of them may be taken by either boy or girl, and witli tue peuuig care given by one who 1 loves them, they are almost sure to I yield a profit. Possibly the Belgian bare might suit some others as well But whatever the stork might be. let It be good of Its kind, and pure bred, that the young owner may feel proud of It, and love it, as he could not love a lean! misshapen mongrel that would be the laughing stock of his companions. There are others who have been re tained on the farm and made to love farm life and farm Work bv a little tract of ground, on which they could have a garden, a strawberry bed or a fruit tree, the products of which were their own. They learned to care for them, and were anxious to learn from the experience of others. They studied the details of caring for the crops s older farmers do not often study and we have seen the boy's garden and the boy s animals good enough to put to shame the best that the father with greater experience, could produce To make this more effectual ' the younger student should be provided with such books and papers as treat upon the care of that to which he mav bave devoted himself. If he read" a good agricultural paper every week he may become interested in some other branch of agriculture than that he has started in as a beginning, if he Zl for sheon oi . . ' iuill nuuig iq swap the calf bens for rabbits each year, especlajy f the . desire for trading 18 baseS on an Idea that the new acquisition will "not need iaS much care or ,abor as tbe itE Not all boys are industrious or enter prising, but many m,gllt JJ"- f when young they were taught thai to work, to try to Improve on existing methods and to economize were nect sary to success. To try to drive "hem on a road that they do not like l tban useless, but they ca " e along p,esant paths.-Amerlean CuS BERMUDA'S NEW DOCK. ' It Will Replace the 0, One BUt in 18(111 The great floating dock which has just been launched from the vard ot Messr,. Swan & iIllnter of WJJ J on-Tyne, was built by the orde? of the admiralty and ta to be placed ?n h,s Majesty's dockyard at Bermuda ww it will replace the old floating 1 that has been there since 18y, yfZ is both obsolete and Insufficient lota dimensions. " It is Interesting to co pare the old and the present docki, f they show very clearly the great 1 crease that there has been In the lu of ships of the English fleet since th. old dock was built, for It, Hfce th, present one, was designed with a Tie, to accommodating the largest veseu that were then built or bulldhig length of the old dock was 381 feet am Its lifting power was 8,0j) tons, whld, was sullicient for the ships of theBellef. opium class, although It wins cnpableof bringing the keel out of the water of vessels up to 10.200 tons, such as the long, fully rigged llne-of-battle ahlpa Agincourt and Minotaur. The present dock Is 545 feet long tvi Its lifting power up to the pontoon deck level Is 15.5I10 tons, which can be In. creased up to 17,500 tons. It Is the In volition of Messrs. Clark & Stanflrfd, from whose plans It was built Thi type, of which many examples already exist, notably the large 18,000-ton dock frr the American navy which lias jnst successfully lifted the battleship H. mils, was specially Introduced by that firm with a view to producing a strut ture having a large amount of longl tudiual rigidity.. Tlie necessity for such rigidity win be apparent when the different types of vessel that the present dock will be called on to lift are remembered. Pri marily It. has to lift the line-of-battle ships of 15.000 tons displacement, wlti a length of bearing keel of 313 feet, but In addition it has to deal with cruisers of the Terrible class of about the same displacement but with 3S3 feet of bear ing keel, nnd, lastly, ouxlliary crulsen like tlie Campania, weighing some 17,. Oi m tons, with n bearing length of keel of 502 feet. It is evident, therefore, that great longltudlnnl strength Is net essary, since while the dock has to be long enough to deal with the 500-foot Campania, practically the whole dto placcnicnt of the 545-foot long pon toons have to be utilized to lift a vsssel bearing only on some 384 feet of their length. Apart from this, the fact that the dock on Its voyage out to Bermuda may have to encounter the long rollers of tin' Atlantic, also makes it impera tive that u very stiff form of structure should be employed. Like the original Bermuda dock the present one is a self tloekiug dock that Is, it can lift all parts of Uself out of water a most nec essary facility In the subtropical siaof Bermuda. The dock Itself, says the London Graphic, consists of five portions, com prising three pontoons which form the main lifting portion of the dock, anil two wide walls, which, while afford ing a certain amount of lifting power, primarily serve to give the dock stabil ity and to regulate Its descent when the pontoons are submerged. NOT LOADED. True Story for the Fools Who Aim Un loaded Weapon at Others. The persons who "didn't know it was loaded" need all the warnings and 11 the object-lessons that can be placed before them. Some fifty years ago Itoger, a cele brated tenor, gave a supper, at which Berlioz was present, and also the mu sical critic, l-'iorontiuo. In the early hours of the nioraiug I'iorentino got up, "to stretch his legs," as he said, and strayed Into the neit room, where there was an liiterestinj collection of firearms. In a few minutes lie came back, carrying n gun, and In the spirit of mischief began to point it about in tlie most reckless manner. Finally he turned It upon Berlioz. "1 am going to kill Berlioz," be said. "Ho is a formidable rival. He Is In my way ns a musical critic." Berlioz turned pale ond shook with fear, but bis host assured bim that the gun was not loaded. Florentine changed bis nlin. "BerliM Isn't worth killing, nfter all," said be. "1 shouldn't get his place, for they'd say I'd used undue inilueiiee. Now I've grudge against grand opera, ami against Meyerbeer for not bavins banded nie over n part or his gains. So I'l kill Iioger. for that will stop the re ceipts nt the opera house." Thereupon he took aim at his host, who. feeling sure that the gun was not loaded, did not budge a inch. Hut l another second Florentine changed bis mind again. "There's no pleasure iu killing Koger," said he. He Isn't even afraid of dying. But I must kill something. I'll ki1 ! portrait." He turned the muzzle of the gun to ward a full-length picture of the tenor, pulled the trigger, and to everybody's horror simply riddled the canvas with shot. Writing His bast Words. Albert F.igelow Paine, the poet, W"0 wrote "You Ought to Be In Kaatf When the Suuflowers Blow," has been called the champion lous-'Mstani stammerer of the earth. One JJ.T' when he had spent the greater parto' a minute In asking a friend what time It was, the friend, after telling remarked: "If you ever Intend to become fanwu by your last words, you would bet,,r write them out" "W-w-w-w-h-h-h-hry?" asked rl"e- "Because," replied bis friend, "If J0" were to attempt to say them you'd W" er live long enough to finish the W tence." New York Times. 4fter all the money spent In glvlB5 a girl a knowledge of art and niui t help her through life, the time com when she finds that that which n'lP ber most Is patience. A woman is bo anxious to fS heaven in order that she may kP knowing what ber husband Is do"