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About Wallowa chieftain. (Joseph, Union County, Or.) 1884-1909 | View Entire Issue (April 10, 1902)
1 WALLOWA CHIEFTAIN. Kol KOI, Publisher. ENTERPRISE OREGON. A Boston swimmer !u-s a caallen::.' for 'a mi.e da:i." Wouldn't ""a mil phis!' be le:ter? The only cl.aure the lnj;an has to avoid a hair cut is to learn to pl.iy football or the p.ar.o. A Chicago man shot five tiaies at bus wife, wounding her slightly. He is probably a French duelis: la disguise. The u'-esfu'i politician must be se- i r.ous it pmdiv. lur. that l.os no; ne.es- ! ar:!y prevent bitu Mugii:ug a"- the nub- lit- In private. Tho r'-.i-iti! i - .iii::: has J:t found ' Its way int.- i. 'lid 'U No wonder som of the I.o:..l -u editor are compiaiu.n.' about :ae su'uc of taa: towu. S.iuii of pie of Germany are appare-.it! .!': I'.-jiniiitu- to realize tnat Ciir:t"pher Coiumi.u discovered quite h tr:p ".' ' "Uiitr.i o'.er here. A scientist ;iy tt- Kocky Mountain are moving southward Anyone who has tr-.tveied f r-!;, t;i- north toward them i:.a well believe the s;.iteu,eiit. If a young man . it. love with a girl , and s;,e refuse, to marry hitii it may ' break ;i heart: if she d.-es marry mm I the ehan.-es are it will break nis pock- j etbook. Emperor Will. am may conclude to be his own .1. IVerpoii: Morgan and buy up the German steamship lius to pre vent them from falling into tiie hands of the Ameriean. tin the day that the steel trust an nounced that its earnings the past year were M. '." the census bureau gave It out that this country has a pop ulation of S4..'.'. '. Carnegie's intense desire to die poor will not prevent him from defending, the title to his i.i " island off the coast of Georgia which the sea Isl and cotton king claims to own. The ways of the world are changing A certain man kept tab on his children np to eleven. When twins jumped the number up to thirteen he committed uiclde. in the days of our forebears the father would simply have gone on calmly keeping tab. The price of $4..V.i.iii or $o,tX).000 which we are now paying for the Dan ish Islands in the West Indies is a bar pain counter quotation compared with the price asked for them formerly. Den mark's asking price was SIo.ijw.iXiO a generation back and Mr. Seward of fered $7.r..'. i for them. Apparently the market for islands is less active and high than formerly. A couple recently married set an ex cellent example to prospective bride grooms and brides. The money each would have expended for a present to the other was constituted a fund for the endowment of a free bed in a hos pital. Persons of ample means, who study to obtain some novelty as a wed ding gift to husband or wife that is to be, can always rind opportunities along the paths of ehari-y to establish a memorial of their own happiness by conferring happiness upon those who pass their days lu life's shadow. The young woman in Pennsylvania who puts the vaiue of a broken rib at SUA) was influenced by the mitigating circumstance that the rib was broken by a young man in an affectionate hug. At tirst she offered to compromise on a basis of payment of the surgeon's bill of $11. 50, and when the young man foolishly and uugallantly tore up the bill, proper feminine pride compelled her to raise the price. It would seem to us that Sim i may be regarded as a ridiculously small sum for the pleasure of giving such a hug as would fracture a rib: but, of course, this is not to be fully determined until the lady is shown in evidence. And perhaps the rib bad been broken before. Or possi bly It was not one of the more impor tant ribs. All these tilings must be taken into consideration by unbiased legal authorities. Ottrnar Mergeuthaler was one of the greatest inventors the world has pro duced. It was his mind that fashioned the linotype machine, now used by ev ery large newspaper in the country. He gave his life largely to the perfect ing of this typesetting machine, which, as he said, was able to do everything but think. Before he died, however, he perfected another labor saving device, a machine that turns ou: fruit or berry baskets or boxes troui tiie raw lum ber. With but on employe to tend it It makes as many baskets in an hour as a dozen of the most expert hand workers can make. It is said that one of these machines operating at ordi nary spee 1 produces complete straw berry boxes at the rate of lli.OuO a day, 1.2IJU an hour. 20 a minute, or one every three seconds, and theD by the simple movement of a lever or two and the turning of some thumbscrews, the ma chine is so changed that It can go to work at making peach baskets, grape baskets, or anything else the manufac turer may want, the matter of s.ze be ing but little trouble, as the dimen sions can be instantly changed by sim ple movements. Modern invention is rapidly bringing about the day dream ed of by reformers. It is not to come by agitation or legislation, but by In vention. The multiplication of labor taring machine will mako It possible to produce all that the world needs by I the wnrk of a few hour each day. J leaving the reuiaiuiler for cultivaiiou ami recreation. In all directions steadily and surely ' the world is getting better. I: is pet-' 1 tins better morally, physically, social- , ly. industrially In every direction, i Smie social developments are tempo- j rarily discouraging and some are hard to understand but. as In the growth of I a child from feeble Infancy to mature manhood, the tendency Is constantly ; ned with certain vegetable growths to a better state. Mumps, measles and j ae holly, the mistletoe, and the Chnst whoopiui cough correspond to rerolu-! nas tree. The veneration In which these tion. strikes and trust formations lu , re held goes back to a remote au soe,e:y. Many of the moat Important ; tiu,ulty. There are. however, mine agencies for InipTOTement are Ignored strange and curious legends attaching and misunderstood. The eartb-worms to other products ol the vegetable kiug- that the hnr digs up when he goes lish ing are absolutely essential to the agri cultural growtii of tuis nation. How many realize the Importance of these litti- wriggling worms': How many people know mat the dust iu the air g'Vf. color to the sunlight, colors the clouds, makes the fruitful rainfall po: sibl How many Have thought of the ex:raord,nary g-rod which comes into tiie world because of the universal iiiii'it of celebrating each person's b:r:.;d.iy? When is your birthday': II a not every single birthday made you a: leas: for a time a better man': We ui.iv ignore tiie beginning of tiie New ear. fur tnat is a very general celebration. No man igunrv his own birt.'.ii.iy. tiie day which begins all of his years ou eartii. An l very few uu ma:i beiiu-. indeed, fail ou each re curring birthday to make good reso lutions, determined that they will try to do better. Even a man's apparently seltis:i birthday resolutions are good tor all tiie people. He resolves to sue- ; ceed better that means that he must work harder and add to the productive ness of tiie race. He resolves to be temperate, to exercise self-control, to i give up gambling, or in some way to improve himself every such resolu- ; tiou. multiplied by millions, is good j for the whole race. Of the l.JU.UUU,- j human beings on the earth 4,iXHi,- Ohm on an average celebrate their I birthdays every day. Every single day I 4.0O0.IMJ of humau beings begin a new i year. Every single day that great number of people form good resolu tions, and determine to do better than they have done. Nobody can estimate the power for good on earth of this constant exercise of the greatest moral force, the will to do right. Whenever your friend has a birthday, encourage him if you can in this noble human tendency toward good resolutious. And when your own birthday conies make up your mind that, as one little drop in tl.e ocean of humanity, you wll do what you can to make yourself a bet ter man or woman, more worthy of the trouble taken by your father and mother, and more useful to the other human beings who cling to this little ball of earth with you. The Nervous New Yorker. One of the most marked outward manifestations that the New Yorker I gives of the high nervous tension under tlegods,it is said, were .livening them which he lives is his habit of talking elvvs OIie d:,-v r'-v sl'""tiS-' Blader. aloud to himself in the street. This i the K';d of mlrtu' i,f,,,r Ving him habit is one of the first things that ob- j ugi,i"'st ,he lloll-v' I"okl- ,he 0(1 ut servers of street lite in New York no- i eDV-v- shot ,n him ,vltli au "row PP tice. It is a form of nervousness th.-.f is wit mistletoe. A few drops of his due not only to the high pressure at which so many New Yorkers are kept, but to the noise of the street tratlic. When the rush and rumble of the streets is so great that a man "cannot hear himself tuink," he speaks his thoughts aloud. It Is only rarely that a woman Is observed doing this. Some times the man who is talking to him self, If he Is happy, will mumble only phrases and half sentences audibly. If he is angry or deeply concerned he will speak steadily and sometimes make emphatic gestures. But nearly all of the men who talk aloud in the streets have their business affairs uppermot j n their minds, and the word "dollars" U the one that is oftenest heard Down- town in the financial section this habit of a large number of New Yorkers Is particularly noticeable, but one may j observe It In almost any part of the town. Tarls Is possibly the only other one of the great cities of the world where the habit Is so noticeable as It Is here. Actors and writers and the many minor poets of the French capital may be seen declaiming their lines or verses, unheeding their observers. New York Evening Post. I)r g-Net Writ. This story Is told of a judge who was for some years on the District bench of North Dakota, says an exchange. On one occasion an attorney appeared b fore him with a written request that a ' ,..,i, .1,,.. , . ' writ of duces tecum, iinguiilus licit, is sue; and the Judge, after adjusting his I , i i .. i glasses aud giving the paper a very paper a very careful reading, handed it to the clerk with instructions that the writ issue, whereupon the clerk Informed the court that he was not an attorney, and il.d not understand the nature of the writ; so the court again took the paper. - - . . , . . , 1 ' ' off into the far lan, of study, and after some moments had elasped arose and addressed I the clerk as follows: "Mr. Clerk you will issue a writ that wll ulay the deuce eenera t. nl , , , . , , . " : take em in gom and coinin', sick or well." Big Coal Field. St George's Bay, Newfoundland, con tains an immense coal field fully twen ty miles In length and ten lu briadth. It has been estimated that If the output were to reach jo.OuO tons per annum, the coal bed would not be exhausted In a century. When you pata a woman on the street and she draws In a breath and says "and" to her companion, some one Is catchlmc It L(jEI)$ OF TREES. SUPERSTITIONS FROM ANCIENT DAYS CONCERNING THEM. The Oak, Holly, Mistletoe, Poplar, Mulberry, Fin, Hay and Rose Are Vegetable Growth that Are Rich in Association Old Time Myth. Christinas is the only holiday ldentl- dom. The onk tree Is rich In associations, having been held sacred alike by the Hebrews, the Greeks and the Uoiunus. The oak under which It is believed Abraham stood when the angels came announcing the birth of Isaac was L. an object of veneration, and was raid . 10 w STil! in "istetic ln tue Umv oi ! . or.siannne. Ail tue oaks In the grove of Iodona. i 1:: Kpirus. were said to be gifted wiih i pn phecy. Some of the trees Were i-.it ' down and hewn into timber to buici the snip Argo. one o:' the myths states ! that .iupiter derived his power from the i oak. a:ul he taught men to live uioii aeeriis. so they might become strung and wise, and to swear by the oak was u most solemn and binding form. i ii-ii returning from the infernal re- j gmns i: is rci.it- il that Hercules wore a I wreath eonipose,l of poplar leaves. His : brow being damp with perspiration, tiie ' inner side of the leaves, coming in con- ! tact with it. turned white, and the out- ' trsurfa'-e of the loaves turned almost j bhu-k from smoke. From this, it is I said, came the silver-leafed poplar. From the Arabians conies a story as ! to the origin of the yellow, for which ; there appears to be some foundation in ' the scriptures. David, after his mar- j riage with Bathsheba. was one day j playing ou his harp, when two angles t appeared and accused him of his great i sin. For forty days and nights David . shed tears of repentance. "From his j tears flowed two streams, which .tin from the chamber into the garden, and from them sprang two trees, one of which was the willow which Incessant ly weeps and mourns and the other the frankincense tree, which sheds big tears, each in remembrance of his re pentance." The ancients had a custom of making presents of dried tigs and bay leaves on the first of the year, for the bay tree was considered guixl for the health. There aw always to be found some buy leaves in the cuoicest packages of tigs which come from abroad. It was near a white mulberry tree that the lovers Pyramus and Thislw met their tragic death; and the poor mulberry tre, being, it is said, sprinkl ed with their blood, forever after bore red fruit. The holly is said to have come bv It red berries In a similar way Some of blood spurted over the holly, con sequently the berries are red. and the grief of the mistletoe was so intense that ever since her berries have been like teardrops. Some traditions relate that the origin al color of the rose was white, says the New Y'ork Times, but that one day when the gods were feasting Cupid with his wing upset a bowl of nectar, which fell In a shower upon the earth, dyeing all the roses red. Another story tell3 that the goddess of flowers, upon finding the dead body of her favorite nymph, implored the gods to assist in (hfl n rrl n tr lir Int.. o fl ,-.. n-ki.,1. ,houM be the of fl .., ,0 tnls , -Bacchus bathed the flower ln Aurora her fall thick upon It, refreshing its roots. wnlle A ams gboue ; , , w.H.,,,b ,i.iutu. i tum wviJto. IIS stem with a diadem of bloom unsur passed for beauty, aud Vertumnus anointed It with norfumM t-Am ti,.. yale of Temne." SUN-BATH ON THE SIDEWALK. An Invalid Learns tsomethiu Abont Human Curiosity. An invalid who had been in the coun try for her health, aud was ordered to continue the "fresh-air cure," even after she had returned to the city, de- Borlliw In tlm tln,l.. lf...o.l- .i " some of th-' amusing exper.ences which came " ; to her through the unrepressed curios- ... . " " '"r' . u cun '! oi me ouunc. rue toon uer n ace J ... ,,,J.. ,.., . p " vuc sun, w iu sienin-er-chair aud rugs, expecting to "live and let live." But she was destined to learn something about humau na ture before the day ended. T n m In tlto vo-v e rtf e-:. Belf. 8Ue when the .tUek KV j 1 wo exciteU-Iookiug women rush up to me. Uue of tl)eBJ lM w, nP ! of questitms. 3 I -what Is the matter with berr (I ,m , t0 De unable t0 f ! . ... . . . '. r myseir, auu my irienu is addressed I "What alls her? Ob. what left her like this? Is It rheumatism? If It's rheumatism. I can tell you what to do. You take some vinegar and some salt, common salt, and you put ln It some lye. Just common lye. and you apply It. I have cured a great many people of rheumatism with this. There is a man who is a conductor on the railroad I cured him; and he says If he ever baa a twinge again, be will get In a tub of this." Smiles and nods and the strangers have gone; I begin to realize what I am ' doing. Nurse-maids who have children out for an aliinr discus me In the soothing tones supposed to be adapted ! to infant ears, and In the midst of u.y reading I hear murmurs: "Yes. yes. a lady out taking the sun. Nice sun for the lady. Will do the lady good." Homeless dogs and friendless chil dren shelter themselves about my chair to rest. I am of great use to organ grinders, acting as the nucleus of a quickly gathering crowd. I serve ae an intelligence office, and receive constant inquiries as to where people live, whether I know any one who would like to hire a servant, and whether l know of servants who wish to hire. I a!io had an offer of work. A negro man addressed me: "Vuh mus' scuse me. lady, full speakin' tub yuh. I axes yuh pardon, but I been a-lookln' fuh somebody lak yuh. I wan' tub ax whether yob would Ink tub teach some body o' cose tuh be paid somethin" ev'vy week. It's my wife. She can't read, and I want huh to lun." Small boys seem not to accept the sit uation, perhaps liecause they are the frankest of mortals. 1 bear them across the street, saying: "Come o:t let's go over and look at her." One day I was examined by two. ami heard surprised voices: "Is it a lady':" A long pause, mid then, with still great surprise. "Ye-psl" At another time I had my arms under my cape, and I heard from a pair of urchins. i:i awestruck tones. "She ain't gut no bauds"' One day two little fellows sat down on the steps by me. and one ventured to speak: "I-ady. what's the matter with yer? Can't ye walk? Got both yer feet cut off?" This time 1 questioned them In return, and upon my asking why they were not in school, one glibly replied: "1 have to work. Got to help my mother." "I o you work?" "Yes'm." he said, proudly, and hand ed me a paiier on which was written. "Pkasc help my mother to pay her rent. God will help you. God bless you:" My remarks concerning this kind of work quickly ended the curiosity about myself. S. R. Crockett writes to his publish ers concerning his latest novel. "The Firebrand": "For the purposes of "The Firebrand" I lived romantically among the ex-brigands, actual smugglers and other fine fellows in the utmost Pyre nees aud Sierras of Moncayo." The name of the heroine of Anne Scarlett. Mary Iuilay Taylor's latest novel, was a pure invention of the author. Yet. strange to say. Miss Tay lor has received a letter from an actual Anne Scarlette living In Newark, N. J., who naturally expresses a lively inter est in the origin of the title. A book will soon be nublished bv John Lane called "Jane Austen: Her Homes and Her Friends." by Constance HI1L It will give a picture of Jane Austen's daily life In her different homes, and thus make us realize the influences that affected her as a writer for we take It for granted that many readers are interested In Jane Austen. Timely advice Is given ln an exchange as to buying so-called juvenile books. Because a book la labeled "juvenile" it does not follow that is a proper book for children. These books should be examined, unless well known, for very often they contain matter that Is not really Intended for young readers. Buy ers of such books should take nothing ror granted rrom the titles of books in tended for sons and daughters. Every one hears of the "list of best selling books," but who ever heard of a list of books that bave never left the shelves! The Public Library of Lin coln, England, gives the names of such books. The number Is not large, only 35 out of the 10,538 volumes in the li brary can boast that the dust on tbem baa never been disturbed. Not a single novel, however stupid, can claim this unenviable distinction. Works of the ology and history lead all the rest in this sleep of the unread. Is there anything new under the sun? Attention being called to the fact in one of Maurice Hewlett's "New Canter bury Tales." that the sex of a girl dis guised as a boy Is discovered by throw ing an apple In her lap; the Academy asks Mr. Hewlett If he Is aware that the same incident Is used in "Huckle berry Finn," then the New Y'ork Times comes and says that Charles Ileade used It In "Cloister and the Hearth." and finally some one else suggests that the incident was used long before Charles Keade's time but this la back far enough for us. Old Religions Books. The dispersal of the religious orders in Paris has beeD followed by the ap. pearance of a large number of religious books in the boxes of the dealers on the Qual l'Orsay. Here they Jostle with Voltaire, under the shadow of hia statue, and with ditties of the "cafe concert." These books principally come from the Carmelites' library, in the Itue de Vaugiard. wnlch was dispers ed two months ago, when the ordet turned Its back upon France at the bid ding of an inhospitable law. Some of the books are very old. dating back 2iKJ or 300 years. The signatures of theit pious owners are pale and rusty on ' pages that bave turned yellow with ; age. New York Trlbuue- I WON'T SELL TO AMERICANS. Filipino at Pn Fernando Oppced to Yankre nuninm "'' m lean enterprise in the Philip pines Is meeting with opposition at ome places where the natives bave stopped fighting, but are evidently not readv for Yankee business methods. One 'of these places is Sau Fernando, capital of La Union province, in tb Island of Luzon. The cltv has a population of about 13.01 J. anil Is 1T1 miles north of Manila, with which it is counected by wagon road. The province Is fertile, raising much rice. corn, tobacco and sugar cane. Gold is found In the sands of the riv ers of the province, but it is coarse. Sjn Fernando has a goon naroor ou n. , western coast of Luzon. j Naturally some of the Americans In the Philippines bave been attracted to this fertile part of Luzon, which Is peaceful now. but their reception. In a business way. has not been a hearty one. acording to a correspondent of the Manila Freedom. He says: The effect of American justice and discipline is very noticeable ln this province and in adjoining districts. Everybody is at peace with his neigh ljrs."nu.f Americans puss through here of'eu without arms. The natives are thoroughly con vinced that bamboo canoes with tin cans and chunks of barbed wire are nc check to American soldiers, but they are stubbornly opposing American oc cupation and enterprise by refusing tc lease or sell vacant land in lots for building purposes. "I know five American citizens who have been trying for more than a mouth, two of them for two months, for a location upon which to erect busi ness buildings. The presidente is the chief monopolist and succeeds very well in discouraging Americans from locating here. "This place has a fine harbor the best there is on the western exist, with possibly one exception. It has tine uatu nil drainage, is the gateway to the gold deposits of lteiiguet aud Lepanto prov inces. Sau Fernando is the shipping . point for the famous Niguilliun tobacco : district "If the civil commission will look up the titles to terrti tirnia about here It will perform a benefit which will b appreciated by all well-disposed er sous residing here. Oh. for about To.OOf Tagalogs from the vicinity of Manila to settle here and teach the dog-in-the-manger Bocanos what civility and prog ress are. "With that nuuiler of energetic Taga logs planted in this province, with its natural advantages, it would become the garden spot of the archipelago." "Pipe-Osis Chinning. "Have you ever noticed." said an up town physician the other day, "the number of young men who are nursing sore chins': Some have swellings on one side only; the majority have them on both sides. Not one in fifty of those young fellows knows what is the mat ter with him. Most of them imagine that their blood Is out of order, and go dosing themselves, but the disease still stays. Do you see this?" And the mau of medicine pulled n small bulldog pie out of his coat pocket and placed it in his mouth. "I put the pipe to the right side, aud note where It rests. The bowl almost Invariably conies iu contact with the skin just at the forward bend of the chin, and the heat of the lighted tobacco acts like a poultice and draws to a head whatever impurities may be in the vicinity. I have treated some tweuty cases, and as soon as the short style dhudeeu was abandoned for the straight stem variety, the trouble ceased. I think that I am the original discoverer of the malady and uavt called It 'pipe-osis chinnitis.' " Phlla delphla Record. Poverty and Pride. The Woman's Aid Society of this city has many cases of Improvidence on rec ord, aud one of the best of t'.ieui is the story of the woman whose husband was in jull and whose family hud been supplied with food and clothing by the society. To the woman herself they gave $10, thinking she would know the wants of her destitute family better thuu an outsider. A week after the gift a deputation of members called at the squalid home to see the results. They lound no betterment in the coudltioD of the home, so one asked: "Well. Mrs Nolau. how are you get ting along?" "Fine." Mrs. Nolan said. "Did the clothes tit?" Aral did yoo find a place for the money?" "Sure. The clothes fiUej andi d'ye know, they looked so nice that I had all the children's pictures tuk with the money you gave me. and I'm froiug to have me own taken this week to send to the old folks in lreaiid."-N'ew York Commercial Advertiser bidn't Dare to Ki.sk It. Inhabitants of a Minnesqta town re- luemuer tuen Jones, the crabbed mill lonaire lumberman who hired all the I mill bauds himself. One dav a Swed ! applied to the irritable old man and s !.cured a place on the t ; As he was leaving he said. "Mester Ynno In d .. ,.i. . -"ester .. ... ,uu gppj ,OH, anb.allefaday.Be.ideSUatdoyouale: me or do 1 eat mvseief?" "Ob, eat yourself r' replied the old man. "I have dyspesia." His Privilege. An author wrote to bis publisher- "Can I hope for any royalties fmm my book this year?" u,ulUl from The publisher replied: "Yes; you can hope. There'. non.i In the world to hin.i. .? D UlnS Constitution. ' AUl"ta A shiftless man Is nlir.,. i r what he would dftrdX":' jack iou seem uiraiu to pop question: oiuy .o; im afraid question the pop. Judge. i Miss vtituere Are you a mutfa mau: nv um uu yuu mite me M Miss Withers Ob. this la so sudden;. Town Topics. Sue Brette-How lp 'f know tk, gallery gods tnrew art you? flit Lette How do l mow: tegods, d 1 catch them In the act?-Chlctp .News. Teacher Anonymous means wlttm a name. Write a sentence showing jwl understand how to use the word. Soi Girl (wrltes-"Our new baby Uul ymous." Society-Society has to have Its too J datlon. you know. "I suppose . "Fancy anybody trying to be anybodr I if there were nobody who was nobodd New York Sun. Never Too Young: The Child's . er Doctor, don't you think that uibil Is too young to submit to an operation: The Doctor My dear sir, you can't bt- gin too soon. Life. "Will there bo any honor for the man I who discovers the North Pole?" "Cer-1 talidy! He will be a grent life saver "A life saver?' "Yes; explorers wm cease going then." Chicago N'ew. "Does your wife do much faorjl work?" "Fancy work? She won't era I let a porous plaster come Into the bom vlthout crocheting a red border around It and running a yellow ribbon throug; the holes." Little Willie Say, pa. what Is thedif. ference between biography and nutotii ography: Pa Biography, my ion, shows a man as he is, while autobiog raphy shows him as he thinks he lt. Chi '.-a go News. "Why do you call the fast bicycle rider a scorcher?" "Because he gm at a hot pace, makes pedestrians boil ing mad, warms up the police, get! roasted in court, and then thinks the whole thing is a burning shame."-Tit-Bits. His Version: "What did papa say':" "He showed me the door." "And what did you say?" "I said It was certainlj a very handsome door, but not what I had come to talk about. That made him laugh, and a minute later you were mine." Tit-Bits. "Doesn't it make you the least bit en vious to see what elegant furniture Mrs. Fyefly is putting into her house uext door':" "Not n bit. My husband says it will be sold by the sheriff with in six months and I'll be there to bur." Chicago Tribune. The Stamp of Poetry: "I don't we much poetry in this." he said. "Don't you?" she exclaimed; "why. Just m. There's 'methiiiks' mid here is 'nuj' hiip,'nnd. let's see where Is that, now! Oh. yes. here It is 'haply' why. Ifi one of the poetlcalest little things I ever saw." Exchange. "Suppose. Bobbie, that another bo; should strike your right cheek." asked the Sunday school teacher, "wbat would you do?" "Give him the otber cheek to strike." said Bobbie. "Tbut'J right." said the teacher. "YessuiD," said Bobble, "aud if he struck that I'd paralyze him." Exchange. Coming to the Point: Mr. Grogan What a power o' funerals they do be havin' at the church these days. Sliure, It's shtarted me thinking. Miss Casev Thmkln' av what? Mr. Grogan-Tliat whlu It come toime fur my funeral would ye be the widdy V Philadelphia Press. Mr. Newly wed (to his young wifel Jaue, you didu't feed any tramps yes terday, did you? Mrs. Newly wed-No, love. Why? Mr. Newlywed-Oh. nois ing. An uuknown tramp was found dead beside the road just below bere with pie iu his hand-that'8 all, Jane. Judge. Piscatorial Delights: Mrs. Innocent Wliat did you eujoy most about your fishing trip, dear? Mr. lnnoeeut-I got most excited when I was reeling in my love. Mrs. Inuoceut (bursting Into tearsi And to to th-think you prom ised me y-you wouldu't d-diiuk a drop Harlem Life. "What have jou ever done to deserve the ollice to wnich you aspire?" askeJ the voter. "Nothing." auswered the candidate, frankly; "if 1 had overdone anything to thoroughly qualify iue for so Important a positio'u l could proba bly make a great deal more iiumey M a private citizen."-Washington Siar. She You know, John, you promised iue a sealskin wrap and He-And you promised to keep my stockings darned, aud you huveu't done It. She Well, you dou't meau to say you" break your promise on that account? He Well, it's Just like this: You don't give a darn and I don't give a wrap Philadelphia Press. "Mrs. Knox." said the hostess at din ner, "your little boy doesn't seem t have much appettie." "No, he doesn't, tint's a fact." "Don't be bashful, Wil lie," the hostess urged. "Wou't Soa have some more of anythlug?" ' ma'am," Willie replied. "I tilled P od cookies before I come, 'cause ' heard ma tell pa we wouldn't get niuc" bere."-Tit-Blts. "1 want to announce that I'm a can didate for State Senator," said Nurltcb; "can't you start my boom in your pa per?" "Sure." renllwl hia friend. tb I editor, "aud I'll print t rf a way H' will be sure to attract tho Attention o' the machine leaders. We'll say: 'Mr' Jamuel Nurlien nnnouuceS bIS canill acy for $tate Senator from ul$ di trli.-t Philadelphia Press. XT