Wallowa chieftain. (Joseph, Union County, Or.) 1884-1909, February 13, 1902, Image 2

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    j ThB Doctor fjilemma J
By Hesba Stretton
X
CIIAPTEK xxvm.
I di nnt kn.'W why teiror alw lys strikes
Bio dumb and motionless. I i i i nut si ir
or spi-ak. but looked steadily, with a
fas inatel g.izc, into my hiis':i. nul's fan"
a w..m, whit v. enun-iatc 1 face, wish
eyes i t r i 1 1 er !ly i :i t ininr. It was
an awfal I. n: one of I.i rk tri'tniph. of
fneriing, cunning exultation. Neither of
us Spoke.
Ho sank down on the- s.-at beside me.
witii an air of exhaustion, yet with a
low. fiendish laugh whi. h sor.nded hi le
ously loud in my cars. His lingers wore
still about my arm. )ut ho hail to wait
to recover from tho first shook of his suc
cess for it hail hoeu a shook. His fad
was bathed with perspiration, and his
breath canto ami wont titfnl.y. I thought
1 could cvou hoar the heavy throbbing of
his heart.
'Tve found you," he said, his hand
tightening its hoi, 1 and at the first sound
of his voice the spell whUh toiind me
snapped "I've tracked you out at last
to this cursed hole. The came is up. my
little lady. 15y heaven! you'll repent of
this. You are mine, and no man shall
come between us."
"I don't understand you," I muttered.
He had spoken in an undertone, and I
could not raise my voice above a whis
per, so parched and dry was my throat.
"Understand!" ho said, with a slime of
his shoulders. "1 know ali about I'r.
Martin Dobree. Yon understand that
well enough. I am here to take charge
of you. to carry you home with me as
my wife, and neither man uor woman
can interfere with me in that. It will be
best for you to come with me quietly."
"I will not no with you," I answered,
in the same hoarse whisper; "1 am liv-
sat- nU-vM
'THIS MAN is
lng here in the presbytery, nnd you can
not force me away. 1 will not go."
"The silly raving of an ignorant girl!''
he sneered. "The law will compel vol
to return to me. I will take the law
Into my own hands, and compel you to go
with me at once. If there is no convey
ance to be hirel in this confounded hole,
we will walk down the road together,
like two lovers, and wait for the omni
bus. Come, Olivia."
Our voices had not risen much above
their undertones yet, but these last words
he spoke more loudly. .lean opined the
door of the sacristy and looked out, and
Pierre came ilown to the corner of the
transept to see who was sp.akiiig. 1
lifted the hand Iti. hard was not hulJiug,
and beckoned Jean.
"Jean." I sai l, in a low tone still, "this
man is my enemy. Monsieur le Cure
knows all about him: but he is not here.
Y'ou must protect me."
"Certainly, madame." he replied. "Mon
sieur, have the goodness to release luad
am." "She is my wife," retorted lliehard
Foster.
"1 have told all to Monsieur le Cure." 1
I said. I
"Monsieur le Cure is gone to England;'
It is necessary to wait till his return, j
Monsieur Englishman."
"Fool!" said Kiohard in a passion; "she
Is my wife. I tell you."
"Ah!" ho replied plilogmatically. "but
It is my affair to protect madame. There
is no resource hut to wait till Monsieur
le Cure returns from his voyage. If
madame does not say, 'This is my hus
band,' how can I believe you? She says,
"He is my un-my.' I cannot conlide her
to a stranger."
"I will not leave her," he exclaimed.
"Good! very good! I'ardou, monsieur."
responded Jean, laying his iron lingers
upon the hand that held me. and loosen
ing its grip as easily as if it had been
the hand of a child. "Madame, you ate
free. Leave Monsieur the Englishman
to me, and go away into the house, if you
please."
I did not wait to hear any further al
tereatiou, but lied as quickly as I could
Into the presbytery. Up into my own
chamber I ran, drew a heavy chest
against the door and fell down trembling
and nerveless upon the lloor beside it.
Hut there was no time to lose in wom
anish terrors; my difficulty aud danger
were too great. Why should 1 not write
to Tardif? He had promised to come to
my help whenever and wherever I might
aummon him. I ran down to Mademoi
selle Therese for the materials for a let
ter, and in a few minutes it was written,
and on the way to Sark.
The night fell while I was still alon.
Suddenly there was the noisy rattle of
wheels over the rough pavement the
baying of dogs an indistinct shout. A
horrible dread took hold of me. Was it
possible that he had returned, with some
force which should drag me away from
my refuge and give me up to him '!
I heard hurried footsteps and joyous
voices. A minute or two afterward, Min
ima beat against my barricaded door,
i l !
U. Sf'r r i ,'fl-..i " " i'k::ll - I
mS&m' mil
IspmM phi A
and shouted gleefully through the key
hole. "Come down. Aunt Nelly," she cried:
".Monsieur Laurentie is come home
again!"
1 felt as if some strong hand had lifted
mo out of a whirl of troubled waters aud
sot me safely upon a rook. I ran down
into tho salon, where Monsieur Lauren
lie was seated, as tranquilly as if he
ha l never boon away, in his high-backed
armchair, smiling qitirtly at Minimi's
gambols of delight. Jean stool just with
in the door, his hands behind his back,
holding his white cotton cap in them; he
had been making his report of the day's
events. Mousieur held out his hand to
me. and I ran to him, caught it in both
of mine, bent down my face upon it, and
burst into a passion of weeping, in spite
of myself.
"Come, come, madame!" he s.iid, his
own voice faltering a little; "I am here,
my child: behold me! There is no place
for fear now; I am king in Yille-en-bois.
Is it not so, my g'Hd Jean?"
"Monsieur le Cure, you are emperor,"
replied Jean.
"If that is the case," he continued,
"madame is perfectly secure in my castle.
You do not ask me what brings me back
again so soon. But 1 will tell you. mad
ame. At Noireau. the proprietor of the
omnibus to (ir.inville told me that an
Englishman had gone that morning to
visit my little parish, Good! We do not
have that honor every day. I ask him to
have the goodness to tell me the English
man's name. It is written in the book
at the bureau. Monsieur Fostere. I re
member that name well, very well. That
is the name of the husband of my little
English daughter. Fostere! I see in a
MY ENEMY."
moment it will not do to proceed on my
voyage."
The cure's return, and his presence un
der the same roof, gave me a sense of
security. When the chirping of the birds
awoke me in the morning. 1 could not at
tirst believe that the events of the day
before were not themselves a dream.
.Matins were ended, and the villagers
were scattering about their farms and
households, when I noticed I'ierne loiter
ing stealthily about the presbytery, as
if anxious not to be seen, lie made nie
a sign to foilow him out of sight, round
the corner of the church.
"I know a secret, madame." he sai 1. in
a troubled tone, "that moniur who tame
yesterday has not left the valley. I fol
lowed monsieur your enemy. He did not
go far away."
"Hut where is he then?" I asked, look
ing down tue street, witii a thrill of fear
"Madame," whispered 1'ierre. "he is a
stranger to this place, and the people
would not receive him into their houses
not one of them. My father only sai 1,
'He is an enemy to our dear English
madame,' and all the women turned the
back upon him. 1 stole after him, l
hiu 1 the trees and the hedges. He
marched very slowly, like a man very
weary, till he came in sight of the fac
tory of the late 1'ineaux. He turned
aside into the court there. 1 saw him
knock at the door of the house, try to lift
the latch, and peep through the windows.
After that he goes into the factory; there
is a door from it into the house. He
passed through. I dared not follow him,
but in one short half-hoar 1 saw smoke
coming out of the chimney. The smoke
is there. The Englishman has sojourn
ed there all the night."
"But, Pierre," I said, shivering, though
the sun was already shining hotly
"1'ierre. the house is like a lazaretto. No
one has been in it since Mademoiselle l'i
neau died. Monsieur le Cure locked it
up, and brought away the key."
"That is true, madame," answered the
boy; "no one in the village would g0 near
the accursed place, but I never thought
of that. 1'erhaps monsieur your enemy
will take the fever and perish."
"Bun. Pierre, run!" I cried; "Monsieur
Laurentie is in the sacristy with the
strange vicaire. Tell him I must speak
to him this very moment. There is no
time to be lost!"
I dragged myself to the seat under the
sycamore tree, and hid my face in my
hands, while shudder after shudder quiv
ered through me. I seemed to be watch
ing him again, as he strode wearied ly
down the street, leaning with bent shoul
ders on his stick, and turned away from
every door at which be asked for rest
and shelter for the night. Oh! that the
time could but couie back again, that I
might send Jean to find some safe place
for him where he could sleep! Back to
my memory rushed the old days, when he
screened me from the uukiuduess of my
step-mother, and when he seemed to love
me. For the sake of those times, would
to hearea the evening that waa gone.
I 111
and the aultry, breathless nir' ti could
only come back again!
I felt as if I had passed through an
Immeasurable spell, both of memory and
anguish, before Monsieur Laureut'.e
came, though he had responded to my
summons immediately. I then toll him
in hurried, broken seaten.-es. what 1'ierre
had confessed to me. His face grew
overcast and troubled, and he at once
started for the factory. He returned af
ter a long, long suspense.
"My child," he said, "monsieur is ill!
attacked, 1 am afraid, by the fever. I
shall remain with him all this day. You
must bring us what we have need of. and
leave it on the stone there, as it used to
be."
"But cannot he be removed at once?"
I asked.
"My dear." he answered, "what can I
do? The village is free from sickness
now; how can I run the risk of carrying
the fever there again? It is too far to
send monsieur to Noireau. Obey me. my
child, and leave him to me and to God.
Cannot you confide in me yet?"
"Yes." I said, weeping, "I trust you
with all mv heart."
"Go, then, and do what I bid you," he
replied. "Tell my sister and Jean, tell
all mv people, that no one must intrude
upon me. no one must come nearer this
house than the appemteji piaee. jou
must iniuK 01 me as one uuseus, jei vo?u
at hand; that is the difference. 1 am
hnra in Ih.t tv-llh of my dlltV. fio. and
fulfill vours "
For "three davs. morning after morning.
whilst the dew lay still upon the grass, j
I went down, with a heavy and forebod
ing heart, to the place where I could
watch the cottage, through the long aul- :
try hours of the summer day.
Here in the open sunshine, with the !
hot walls of the mill casting its rays
back again, the heat was intense; though ,
the white cap I wore protected my head .
from it, my eyes were dazzled, and I felt
ready to faint. No wonder if Monsieur !
Laurentie should have sunk under It. and
the long strain upon his energies, which .
would have overtaxed a younger and '
stronger man. I had passed the invisi
ble line which his will had drawn about .
the place, and hail half crossed the court,
when I heard footsteps close behind me, ;
and a large, brown, rough hand suddenly ,
caught mine. j
"Mam'zelle!" cried a voice I knew, "is 1
this 'ou?" j
"Oh. Tardif! Tardif!" I exclaimed. 1 :
rested my beating head against him, and
sobbel violently, whilst he surrounded
me with his strong arm, and laid his
hand upon my head, as if to assure me of
his help and protection.
"Hush, hush! mam'zelle," he said. "It
is Tardif. your friend, my little mam'
zelle; your servant, you know. I am
here. What shall I do for you? Is there
any person in yonder house who fright
ens you, my poor little mam'zelle? Xell
me what to do."
He had drawn me back into the green
shade of the trees, and placed me upon
the felled tree where I had been sitting
before. I told him all quickly, briefly
all that had happened since I had written
to him. I saw the teurs start to his
eyes.
"Thank Clod I am here." he said. "1
lost no time, mam'zelle, after your letter
reached mo. I will save Monsieur le
Cure; I will save them both, if 1 can.
He is a good man, this cure, and we
must not let him perish. He has no au
thority over me, and I will go this mo
ment and force my way iu, if the door
is fastened. Adieu, my dear little mam'
zelle." He was gone before I could speak a
word, striding with quick, energetic tread
across the court. The closed door under
the eaves opened readily. In an instant
the white head of Slousieur Laurentie
passed the casement, aud I could hear
the hum of an earnest altercation, al
though I could not catch a syllable of it.
But presently Tardif appeared again in
the doorway, waving his cap in token of
having gained his point.
It seemed to me almost as if time had
been standing still since that first morn
ing when Monsieur Laurentie had left
my side, and passed out of my sight to
seek for my husband in the fever-smitten
dwelling. Yet it was the tenth day af
ter that when, as I took up my weary
watch soon after day break, I saw him
crossing the court again and coming to
wards me.
What had he to say? What could im
pel him to break through the strict rule
which had interdicted all dangerous con
tact with himself? His face was pale,
and his eyes were heavy as if with want
of rest, but they looked into mine as if
they could read my inmost soul.
(To be continued.)
AVhy We Need Hobbies.
Business is not inseparable from
higher things. Men may be born gro
cers, but need not live only a,s grocer.
Solon and Thales, wise men of the
Greeks, were merchants; Plato peddled
oil; Spinoza, the philosopher, mended
spectacles. Linuaeus was a cobbler as
well as a botanist. Shakspeare prided
himself more upon his success as a
stage manager than as a dramatist.
Spenser was a sheriff. It might require
a rather strong wrench of the Imagina
tion to Imagine sheriffs of to-day writ
ing another "Faerie Queen" but why?
Milton taught school, as have almost all
great meu. Waller Scott, the wizard of
the North, was circuit clerk and prac
tical man of affairs; Grote was & ton
don banker, Bicardo a stock Jobber and
Sir Isaac Newton master of the English
mint. Paul was a tent-maker and tho
Great Gentleman an apprentice at a
carpenter's bench.
"I practice law simply to support my
self," said one of the greatest of St.
Louis attorneys an attorney-at-law,
not an attorney-at-politlcs "but my
real life Is at home In my library."
Thoroughly practical people need the
help of hobbles to keep them from
shriveling up. St. Louis Globe-Demo-ciat.
High-Priced Book.
The biggest price ever paid for a book
was $44,uX, given for an original copy
of the Psalterium, published by Faust
In 1439. It was bought by Bernard
Quaritch.
Taaiuaaia's Mineral Wealth.
Tasmania, in proportion to iu area,
is the richest in Australasia's colonies
In mineral wealth.
Lore Is the hot waffles and marriage
Is the cold blacuiu.
BORN IN THE COUNTRY
NO BOY NEED EVER BE ASHAMED
OF IT.
Ially Contact with Nuture Given
Ileulth, HuppinetM, I'urity and Peace(
and What la There that In More
Worth Striving For?
No hoy netd ever ropret that he was
bom iu the country and reared on a
farm, says former Secretary of Agri
culture J. Sterling Morton iu the Con
servative. He may lack the keenness
and polish of bis city cousin. He may
be embarrassed by his own awkward
ness ami feel that he is at a hopeless
disadvantage iu the race, but the coun
try boy has the advantage of a wider
range of practical Ideas. From the very
tirst bis little services are In demand.
He becomes at once a part of the force
that is making for home comfort and
prosperity and feels the independence
of one who is helping to support liim-
sef anj njj (0 tue general store.
Tue COUIltry iy u ukt?iy to regar,l
his life as one of drudgery, and such It
may be If he loses Interest In bis sur-
i luuuulns or is presseu wiuj a cuuuu-
, ued round of duty.
There U something heroic In the
country boy's struggle with the ele
ments. Itain and snow and sleet only
brace his courage. The garnering of the
crops, the housing and feeding of the
domestic animals, the gathering and
preparation of the winter fuel, give a
purpose and zest to his toll.
Then there Is the long tramp, some
times of miles, to the district school;
lessons learned before and after long
hours of labor. Iu It any wonder there
are keen wits developing all outside of
graded systems and in detiance.of peda
gogical order? It is the Intensity of
purpose with which the mind acts un
der the Influence of vigorous health
aud the conscious value of time that ac
counts for these results. So from the
farms Is being supplied a stream of ac
tive world workers men not afraid to
do their duty and bubbling over with
energy ami ambition.
From the little red schoolltouses come
into our colleges and schools of higher
grade aspiring youth. Some are seek
ing an education as a means of eman
cipation from the drudgery f lalior.
Others come with a true thirst for
knowledge. They tind their way Into
the professions and business world, but
few go back to the farm.
What un Ideal thing it would be for
the young men trained in science and
holding the key to nature's mysteries
and beauties to go back to live, broad,
cultured and quiet lives in the midst of
the most delightful environment In
which God has ever placed man!
Touch the country-bred boy, now the
merchant prince or the successful pro
fessional man, and how responsive he
becomes to every suggestion of rural
life. The same cannot be said of boys
reared In the midst of any other sur
roundings. It is the contact with nature
that makes the Indelible Impression
upon his life. No greater gain could
come to the country at large than to
promote the love and appreciation of
rural life. Health, happiness, purity
and peace are the natural inheritance
of those who dwell surrounded by tresh
air, beautiful scenes, bright skies and
pure social influences.
QUEER WAYS OF THE MARTEN.
A Peculiar Habit that Has Suved the
Animal from Kxtinction.
"The Hudson Bay marten, the little
fur-bearer whose skin Is ever popular
and at times exceedingly valuable, is
still plentiful In that region of fur
benrers," said Y. B. Salmon, one time
a trapper for the Hudson Bay Com
pany, "but 1 believe it would have been
virtually extinct there long ago if it
were not for a habit it has of making
periodical disappearances, of which I
never heard any satisfactory explana
tion. "These disappearances occur every
ten years. Where the animals go no one
knows. No dead ones are ever fouud,
and no one has yet discovered any evi
dence of their migration to any other
region. A few martens, of course, re
main on their old feeding grounds, but
during the season of the disappearance
of their fellows none of them will touch
the bait In a trap and consequently
none Is caught. The uext year the mar
tens are back again In their old haunts
as numerous as ever, aud for ten years
more submit to being caught
"The Hudsou Bay martens seem to
be the only ones of the species that
have this strange habit. The Lake Su
perior martens don't waste any of their
time in disappearing voluntarily, but
are found at the old stand year in and
year out, housing themselves in hollow
trees in the deepest woods nnd making
life a perpetual burden to birds, squir
rels, rabbits and other small game on
which they prey.
"The Lake Superior marten has one
predilection of the palate In which he
resembles the bear. That is a passion
for honey. He will line a wild bee o Its
home with the precision of the most
expert bee hunter, and the bidden
sweets of that bee colony will have to
be In a most inaccessible place If the
marten doesn't soon revel in them. Like
the male mink, the male ninrten has on
overpowering love for his own off
spring, but for the offspring of his fel
low martens such peculiar love, in
deed, that if It wasn't for the instinct
aud shrewdness of the mother martens
the race of martens would have beeu
unknown long ago. The male marten Is
so fond of his young that lie will eat
them up whenever he happens to find
them. The mother, therefore, bears her
young In some secret hiding place, nnd
keeps them hidden until they are half
growp and able to defy the cannibal
istic love of their sire. The female mink
exerclses the same instinct with e
progeny, for the father or them, as fond
as be Is of trout and other fish, will
leave his fishing any time to dmc
llis Interesting little family."-!'"""'
Evening Transcript.
a UFRfTS AFFLICTION.
Osborne Itvlunun. f M. rri.nac r amc, j
Now in un Inwuie n!"U'l. ,
Fathotic is 111
eom itlotl i HSIHirne
,
IioiLMiall one of t io lloriies o me .
hefi ics
. . l : -1. i iiwttiivi li
nilKir ryxmxM ... i
war Wilt'" i lnuMMt ;
called for volun
ti ers to go with him j
to at'ctupt the per- !
ilotis font of sinking
the vcs-cl in the .
mouth nf Santiago
harbor in order to
b o t t I e up" the
Spanish fleet, Ieig- j
nan was the tirst to :
offer 1) 1 s
services ,
iu:hd uttiiNAX. and the tirst to be
... 1. .11 1 1... oi..M.r .if lite
seiecteu. i uiioiug me .-.ion... ,
Merrimac. the capture f the daring j
party of American sailors and their
subsequent release by the Spaniards,
President McKlnley was anxious tore
ward each of the young heroes. Deig
nan was personally complimented by
the President and offend a cadotshlp
In the Naval Academy at Annapolis,
but It was found that he was Ineligible.
Then he was appointed a boatswain
In the United States navy and his ap
pointment as a warrant officer was
made April 5 of this year.
He had served but a day or two !
when he was ordered on the sick list. I
After a serious Illness It was found that
his mind was affected, and recently he
was taken to L'kiah, Cal., and placed
In the L'kiah Hospital for the Insane.
It Is believed that his affliction Is only
temporary, and that his stay In the hos
pital will be short.
Wagner and His log Peps.
KIchard Wagner, the composer, was
devoted to dogs, aud Peps had become
Wagner's property during his stay at
liiga He had belonged iu the tirst
place, says Our Animal Friends, to au
English merchant, but became passion
ately attached to Wagner and followed
him everywhere, lying on his door-step
nt night. The original owner found It
useless to attempt to keep him.
On the way to rehearsal the dog was
in the habit of taking a daily bath in
the canal. Being a llussian dog, It Is
recorded of him that he kept up this
habit even in winter, provided he could
tind a hole in the ice.
Peps was one of the great composer's
most famous dogs. Wagner always in
sisted that Peps helped him to compose
"Tanuhauser."
When at the piano singing, the dog,
whose constant place was at his feet,
would occasionally leap to the table,
peer Into his face and howl piteously.
Then Wagner would address his elo
quent critic with:
"What, it does not suit you?"
Then, shaking the animal's paw, he
would say, paraphrasing Shakespeare:
"Well, I will do thy bidding gently."
Peps Is frequently mentioned in his
correspondence. If Wagner remained
too long at his work Peps would re
mind him It was time to walk.
"I am done up. aud must get into the
open air," he writes once. "Peps won't
leave me in peace any longer."
Edison and Him "Anniliilutor."
Oue of the pranks of the youthful
Edison, when his genius was just begin
ning to show itself, is described in Col
lier's Weekly. Probably the danger to
human as well as insect life involved
In his electric "annihilator" prevented
its general adoption.
Edison's early wanderings brought
him nt 17 years of Lge to the Cincin
nati oilice of the Western Union Tele
graph Company, where his absorption
In electricity and predictions of its fu
ture power continued the nickname of
"Luny," which clung to him even until
his fame was established.
"We have the craziest chap in our of
fice;" aaid the telegraph manager to the
editor of the Cincinnati Commercial
Gazette. "He does all sorts of queer
things. I shouldn't be surprised if he
turned out to be a genius some day.
Let me tell you bis last prank.
"We have beeu annoyed for some
time by cockroaches. They infested
the sink. They don't now. Limy fixed
them. He just ran two parallel wires
round the sink, aud charged one with
uegatlre aud the other with positive
electricity. Bread-crumbs were then
scattered, aud when Mr. Cockroach ap
peared and put his little feet on the
wires, ashes were all that were left to
tell the tale."
In this cockroach annihilator was the
germ of the incandescent light.
Not What He Intended to Say.
"My dear, do you suppose this Mrs
Sairy Grand, who is always roasting
the men so unmercifully, is a mother "
"I don't know. What of if"
"Nothin', my love. Don't get huffy
All I wanted to say Is that she'd make
a Grand mother, all riBbf-cieveland
Plain Dealer.
Easiest Part of It.
"How have you managed to
your cook so long?"
keep
Keep her! Great Scott!
Can't trat
up courage to discharge her"-Pbn..
delphla Bulletin. ' IU"
A Query.
If the farmer who tills
Makes his living 1T ,ji,,ge
Does the doctor who pills '
Make his living by pillage?
-Philadelphia Kecord.. l""as'-'
Every time a man receives
an express
package ue says the other
to pay the charges.
man agreed
A blessing in uisg,llse
hard time proving its ideutltf.
cm m
I "Bridget, did you call the boys?" -hj.
calu,j everything ft
. . . , . . iey wou t lt
,s '
lt - ...,L - lell Life.
,
,ttIrt ,vmnthv far Pi.nl.
nave t 1 5 mm. --i vm.
er. Wagg Nonsense: iiaveu t yon
.ver noticed how folks cry at a wed-
ding?
-1 wonder If this bridge pays?" said
Lord Lennox, in approaching Vumhau
bridge. "Go over it." said Hook, tbt
piinster."aiid you'll be tolled." Youth'i
Companion.
Mrs. I'orkchops Bah! They're men
,,.,rv..mw lr. I'orkchons Er cot thstr
' , .. ,, inri.hf,
IIIOIIC SUM I" .-" "s ..jVr-
Wliv. ves; they've just struck oil j
exas. Brooklyn Life.
Mrs. Younglin (going out) John, do
vou suppose you can hear the babj
from where you are If he wakes up and
cries? John (who Is reading the new
paperi 1 diiniio; I hope not
An Editorial Encounter: Nubbs H
went Into the editor's oilice like a foal
ing lion and came out like a postags
stamp. Bulibs How was that? Nubbs
Licked. Detroit Free Press.
A Costly Feed: "We had a feast for
a king at our boarding-house yesterday.
it included all the choicest delicacies ot
the season." "What were they?" "Hash
and succtotash." Cleveland P lain
Dealer.
How It looked: Wife I've gotten m
that I don't care If you are not nt homt
more. I have resources of my own.
Husband You don't mean to say that
you have learned to quarrel with yoat
self? Life.
Kitty That young chap. Charlie Os
good, lias fallen in love with a chorw
girl. .lane Well, there's nothing
strange about that. Young boys nlways
tall in love with girls old enough to be
their mothers.
"You seem to be much Interested In
me. my little girl. What Is it?" "I
don't see how your face can be so
smooth and clear; papa says you have
traveled till over the country on tt"
Boston Transcript.
A Trille Mixed: Tess What Is ab
sinthe, do you know? Jess Oh! I
think It's oue of those fake love po
tions. I read In a book one time that
"absinthe makes the heart grow fond
er." Philadelphia Press.
"Tell me." he sighed, "tell me, beauti
ful maiden, what is in your heart?"
.Miss Henrietta Bean, of Boston, gave
him a look of icy disdain, nnd then
vouchsafed the monosyllable reply:
"Blood." Baltimore American.
Some colored folks naturally blue:
.Miss Johnson Melindy Jackson says
she has blue blood In her veins! Miss
Suollalke Well, she orter hub! De fe
male side ob her house lias been ban-
tiling washing-blue for ten generations!
Exchange.
For art's sake: "Griselda," said the
visiting relative, "you ought not to try
to sing when you are slinking with the
chills." "I haven't got the chills, aufr
tic," replied the church-choir soprano;
"I am practicing on my tremolo." Chi
cago 1 ribune.
"Did you ever try any of these health
foods?" the sympathetic friend asked
or the dyspeptic lady. "Yes," she re
plied, "nnd I'm not going to eat any
more of them." "Why not?" "Because
they spoil my appetite." Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
Helore the bout: "Is Mickey In con
tlition?" "He's as line as silk. Ah,
Mickey's a great boy. He's got some
thing up his sleeve that'll astonish all
tliim other duffers." "What is It. Mis-
ter Doolan?" "Ifs j,is ar-r-m." Cleve
land Plain Dealer.
first teamster Well. I see. Molke,
we've declared a strolke at the Selby
works. Second Teamster Naw! U
that so? And why? First Teamster
Well. you see. It was this way: That
fellow Winters, who made the big haul,
wasn t a member of the union.
How lie did it: Moses How dill yo
make your fortune? Levi By horse
racing. Moses Not betting? Levl
No, 1 started a pawnshon iust outside
the race-course for the people who
".uiieu to get home when the races
were over.-Philadelpbia Press.
i t i .
iroMiiing himself with business:
iou run your automobile very fast
through the streets," said the friend to
the doctor. "Yes," replied the man of
pills and bills; "I'm always In a hurry
to get there; and, besides, when times
are a little dull, I can ck up a few
cases on the way."-cieveland Plain
uealer.
t .. .
ji.ui b secret power: "In all my
life," she said, with a sigh, "1 have
seen only oue man that 1 would care
to marry." "Did he look like me?" be
carelessly asked. Then she flung her
self into bis arms, and wanted to know
wnat secret power men possess that en-
auies them to tell when tbey are loved.
-Chicago Kecord-Uerald.
ttard to tell: "l gt.e your names u
the papers a good deal." commented
the old friend; "1 suppose you're really
in society now." My wife thinks we
are. replied the man who had become
suddenly rich, "but sometimes I bave
my doubts." "iiow 8or ..WelL wuen
there's a - .veil charity entertainment
to be giveiV. with boxes quoted at two
aud three hundred dollars or more, the
evidence seems to indicate that we are
ry much In society; but when some
exclusive private function takes place
there seems to be nothing but what
fhint r 8 n?Satlve 'denee. I
think possibly it llBht be correct to
V that our money is m society, but
e are not"-CblcaSo Post