Page Twelve
Friday. January 21, 1944.
Camp Adair Sentry
i
THE .................
UNPRIVATE..
CORNER ....
Timmons on Assault
I 'Ain’t We Ever Gonna
Charge Downhill?
Tec3 Bob Ruskauff
Managing Editor
♦ The question has recurred too
often to dodge any longer. Is Pvt.
Timmons, whose exploits have been
recounted on this page for several
past weeks by one Pfc. Leonard
Michelson, man or myth?
We have never seen Pvt. Tim
mons, but quoting Pfc. Michelson:
“Brother, he AIN’T a myth. He is
a small GI package of TNT!” All
of which sounded so intriguing that
we have pledged to go further into
this character of the 275th Regi
ment and his Boswell. It seems
that Pvt. Timmons is at times even
more marvelous than the stories
about him.
♦ If there are any people who
should know what kind of juke box
music wears well and which doesn’t
it should be the gals in the PXs
or the restaurants (etc.) of nearby
communities.
So we discovered why, of all the
current pieces that are played to
death, the gals least mind constant
renditions of the “Boogie Woogie,”
by the band of one T. Dorsey.
"You can hear it 40 times a day
and still have to wiggle your feet,”
said the girl in the Corvallis cafe.
What, though, of such as F. Sina
tra’s “Sunday, Monday or Al
ways”? The gal informed us that
from now on out she will simply
detest F. Sinatra and all that he i ,
stands for, Sunday, Monday and
always.
♦ It is too early to note whether
the plan of Bakers A Cooks School
to put lids depicting Tojo, Hitler
and the garbage man’s hog on the
GI cans in which chow hounds
scrape off the waste food is the
success hoped for, but the sign
posted by S/Sgt. L. Moss in our
Her hair is auburn, her eyes deep brown and she lives up in Salem
mess hall indicated a sudden rise town, does lovely 26-year-old Ruby Richards. Pieframe lass No. 26.
in wastage during the week. Per- I [ But she works hard as fountain manager of PX 3. not only because she
haps the thought of passing those i likes her popular boss “Mom" Musgrave, but just because she likes to
gruesome faces besmirched by un I work hard, pouring coffee and dispensing a friendly smile with every
One of the most colorful address
eaten GI chow militates against i sandwich to the GIs who line up three deep at the counter. Lissome
eating the chow.
Ruby is a native Oregonian. Salem-born. Among other vital statistics es in the 316th Engrs. weekly "eye
>
she is a’ 7” tall, weighs 128 pounds. She likes Oregon. Camp Adair and witness” orientation series was de-
♦ “Augie" and “Moe” are two dancing. But her heart is with a paratrooper at Ft. Benning. Lt. John ! livered last Saturday by Col. John
Reynolds, executive of the 91st Div-
characters seen lietimes at the SCU Richards.
I arty and former observer with the
Non-Com Club. They were over
British Sth Army in Africa.
heard on a recent evening in seri-
The stork is blamed for a lot of
I’ROV INC: THINGS WILL
ous conversation, which went in
Col. Reynolds was attached to
things that were really cause by a
this vein:
COME OCT IN THE WASH
8th
Army GHQ as an observer for
lark.
“I have,” said Augie, "a won-
The GI laundry has reached a a major part of the British ad
derful invention in this here com
new all-time low, or should we vance in North Africa, and was
pass. If we could only solve that
GI Gripes
say high. Anyway. Pvt. Joe
little problem.” “Yes.” sighed Moe,
Doakes of Btry. A. 347th FA Bn.,
Eye-Witness
"that problem is kind of a tough
(he wouldn’t give us his name)
one all right.”
opened up his bundle from the
A |Mipular character from Indi- I
local “Chipso Factory” and
ana known as The Deacon, who had
found a dainty brassiere.
been standing by. was not adverse i
He swears that it wasn't a
to hearing about the problem.
gift from a friend.
“Well.” said Augie, "she always .
The laundry, when checked,
comes out 366 degree's to the cir
thought it all very funny, but
cle."
»ffered no Constructive explana-
“Then what is the problem?" said!
ion.
the Deacon. “I should think 366
degrees would be enough.”
No. 26: One Lump or Two, Sugar?
Then there’s our Pvt. Bill Sand
lin, who back in civilian life was a I
printer and publisher by trade and '
a policeman at times and at heart.
Pvt. S. is often delving into litera
ture and is pretty sure to lay as a
suggestion for the I’nprivate Cor
ner something such as the follow
“Justas Clark Gable is about to
ing upon the desk:
confess his love for Lana Turner
A beauty, by name Henrietta
the sound is cut off to page CpI.
Just loved to wear a sweatah.
Scrump back to his orderly room."
Three reasons she had:
This plaint of Pvt. Bob Hanra
To keep warm wasn’t bad—
han. QM St V l»ll. earns this
But her other two reasons were
week's two simoleons for the best
bettah.
Id gripe.
OH. ETERN %L YOUTH
Bridgeport, Conn. (CNS) Mrs
Arpad Kanaco was seeking a di
vorce on the grounds that her hus
band was living with another wom
an. "Have you any children?"
asked the judge. "Yes.” admitted
Mrs. Kansco. "seventeen."
(Ed Note: If all goes well. CpI.
MrDonnell nill this week go on
furlough, so may lone all inspira
tion to do GI Gripe on his return.
That’s how furloughs affect people
Hut don't let that stop you GIs.
Our artist is bound Io become
unhappy again.
Former Observer
With British 8th
Speaks to 316th
Trailblazer Magazine
Wants Pix of Division's
Men While on Furlough
What did you Trailblaters do on
your furlough?
Ski?
Dance?
Ride a tricycle ? Buy a duck ? Or
just plain nothing?
The Trailblaser magazine wants
pictures of you doing it. Ender
i with the Tommies when their
consideration is a page of "fur
forces broke through the famous
lough pictunea,” showing what the
El A lamein line.
soldiers of the 70th did when they
“Most of the fighting.” he told
got out from strict GI discipline for
j the engineers, “was waged along a
a while.
Pictures should be clear, with road winding around the rim of the
plenty of contrast in blacks and continent, not far inland from the
whites to insure good reproduction. Mediterranean.
“Even so. the greatest handicap,
Send them to Trailblazer Kaga
me. c o Public Relations. 70th perhaps, of the campaign was the
Division Hq.. Camp Adair. Ore., or lack of landmarks. Often men and
bring them personally to the same units became lost in the midst of a
address If mailed, use cardboard battle, and the confusion which re
backing to avoid damage.
suited was costly.”
By Pfc. Leonard H. Michelson
Timmons puffed up the four
teenth hill of the day. “Hey,
sarge, can’t we attack downhill for
a change? This is getting mono
tonous, to say nothing of tire
some.”
“Fix your bayonet, and get ready
for the assault,” returned Sgt.
Holcombe, “and no more of your
laying down for a five-minute
break to fire off shots either."
The Kansas genius obeyed like
the good soldier he is, and started
his attack on the run. In a few
seconds he hit the ground a.id lay
still.
“Timmons,” said the Sarge, “get
up. What the devil do you think
you’re doing?”
“I’m dead,” responded the hero
of Co. B. “A Jap bullet got me,
or else I dropped dead from ex-
haustion. I’m not sure which!”
Noting the glint in his leader’s
eyes, Timmons regained his feet,
and helped wipe out the enemy.
• Co. B sat around for the in
evitable critique. “That’s what I
like alxiut these problems," said
Timmons. “These critiques are
swell. We don’t learn much, but
the rest is wonderful.”
“Are there any questions?”
asked the officer in charge.
“Yessir. Why do we always at
tack up a hill? Don’t we ever get
to fight on level ground?” asked
the pride of the 275th.
The officer was very cagy. “Sup
pose you try to answer your own
question,” he replied.
Timmons answered brightly. “It
seems to me that we are always
assaulting uphill, so thaf when we
get into combat and charge down
hill for a change, we’ll be so happy
we won’t care what the Japs do.”
“Could be,” said the officer, “but
the enemy will always defend on
high ground.”
“Well,” said Timmons, “I wish
we could fight in Kansas. There
ain’t no high ground in Kansas.
Kansas is wonderful! There’s only
one hill in the whole state. I guess
when I get home on furlough I’ll
climb up and down it once a day
just to keep in practice. Look,
lieutenant, are there any horns
growing out of my head? I’m be
ginning to feel like a mountain
goat!”
Answers to Yankwiz
1. Washington, D. C. has no
mayor.
2. A valet.
3. That it was minted in Denver.
4. WREN—Jenny Wren.
5. A small baking dish.
6. A poem of seven lines or
verses.
Corporal: She gave me a look
you coyld have poured on a waffle.
Pfg.: She looked at me like I
was a side dish she hadn’t ordered.
—Salem Elklet.
♦ General Eisenhower isn't the only
one who is planning an invasion—
understand the Republicans have
similar plans for November. 1944
♦ Can’t understand how that Ital
ian hoot keeps going—they lost the
heel when they kicked Mussolini
out.
♦ Then there’s the GI who thought
the fiscal officer had charge of the
calisthenics program
♦ Well, said the private as he
looked out of the stockade, they can
only bust me to a civilian!