Camp Adair Sentry Army Nurses Figure To Check Inventory 'Men' Subject of Basic Outline Gals Release Army officers aren’t the only judges of men. Not on your tin­ type. The nurses at the station hospital at Fort Benning, Ga„ seem to have done a pretty good job in setting forth their ideas. Take this dissertation on "Men as They Are,” written by a group of six Fort Benning nurses: “Men are what women marry,” the nurses declare. “They have two hands, two feet and two eyes. But never do they have more than one dollar or one idea at one time. Like Turkish cigarettes, they all are made of the same material, the only difference being that some are better disguised than others. “Generally speaking, they may be divided into three classes: hus­ bands, bachelors and widowers. A bachelor is an eligible mass of ob­ stinacy entirely surrounded by sus­ picion. Husbands are of three types: prizes, surprises and conso­ lation prizes. Making a husband out of a man is one of the highest forms of plastic art known to civili. zation. It requires science, sculp­ ture, common sense, hope and char­ ity—mostly charity. If you flatter a man, you frighten him to death. If you don’t .you bore him to death. If you permit him to make love to you, he gets tired of you in the end; if you don’t, he gets tired of you in the beginning. If you believe him in everything, you cease to charm him, and if you doubt him, he thinks you a fool. If you wear July 2, 1942. gay colors, rouge and a startling hat, he hesitates to take you out. “If you wear a little brown hat and a tailor-made suit, he takes you ! out and stares all evening at a woman in gay colors, rouge and a startling hat. If you are the cling­ ing vine type, he doubts whether you have a brain; if you are a modern, intelligent woman, he doubts whether you have a heart. If you are silly, he longs for a bright mate. And if you are bril­ liant, he wants a playmate. Man is just a worm in the dust. He comes along, wiggles around for a while—and finally some chicken catches him!” Boys in Camp Decide To Improve Dictionary What is a sergeant? He may be hard to define, but that hasn't stopped the men at Lawson Field, Ga., from compiling their own de­ scription of a three-striper. A sergeant, Lawson Field sol­ diers declare, is a biped capable of covering great distances at a quaint, ambling gait called “double time,” much to the disgust of less­ er bipeds who usually follow him about. The call of this creature sounds something like "Hup, doop, dreep, forp” — vaguely similar to the cadence-counting of men in the ranks. He is very gentle unless crossed, in which case he reverts to a mental state called a “tantrum,” during which he has been known to mete out horrible punishments. Although he can be domesticated, outside the home he readily returns to his wild state. W/»o Salutes Who Will Cause Family Trouble — ASK FOR SENTRY If you have a fellow-work- man who is not getting his Camp Adair Sentry regularly, let him know that there is one printed for everyone and that he prob­ ably can get one at his time office, any of the canteens, or in the reception room at the Administration building. If his time office does not have the Sentry, anyone there can get copies necessary by ask­ ing for them. Or address Box 347, Corvallis. — Personnel and Supply For Camp Is Arriving More officers are arriving daily for assignment to the Corps Area Service command under Col. Geor­ ge C. Ferch. Material of al) kinds is arriving also, and is being stored on the camp area. “Look here, waiter, is this peach or apple pie?” "Can’t you tell from the taste?” “No, I can’t.” “Well then, what difference does it make? FOR SALE Sandwich-Luncheon Business Seats 25. Good lease. Ideal for couple. Money-maker for past eight years. Owners wants to retire from business. INVESTIGATE! Inquire Camp Adair Sentry, P. O. Box 347, Corvallis. Corvallis American Legion announces BAUER & BAUER Professional Wrestling Cards "Cash & Carry Rates Tuesday Nights Tailoring — Repairing Dry Cleaning Across from Montgomery Wards Corvallis Corvallis s Kirkham Ice Coliseum Building Kings Road and North City Limits 3 Blocks West of Corvallis High School General Admission 55c — Ringside $1.10 include tax. First Match 8:30 Sales and Service Modern Shop — Best Mechanics Wilson Motors MAIN EVENT — PILIISO vs. DAVIDSON SEMI-FINAL ------ JACKSON vs. HAUER CURTAIN-RAISER — OLSEN vs. KAISER Some of World’s Outstanding Light-Heavyweights Elton Owen, Promoter Phone 43. 3rd & Jackson 4th of JULY CELEBRATION Private William McGuire, of Mather Field, Calif., is in a quan­ dary. Since his return to military service, he doesn’t know whether to begin his letters to his wife with “My dear” or “Dear Lieutenant” And strictly speaking, he is sup­ posed to salute her when they meet. The wife, you see, is Lieutenant Myrtle McGuire, nurse, United States navy. With his wife in the navy and himself in the army, it would be only natural to wonder where you might find their son. Yep, you're right. William Mc­ Guire, Junior, is a Marine! REAL SOLDIER LIKE IS THIS Three Big Days INDEPENDENCE JULY 3-4-5 FUN FOR EVERYONE Parades. . . Sports .. . Carnival . .. Speaking Dancing... Ferris Wheels ... Merry-Go-Round Side Shows, etc. A U.S.O. Benefit When you help the U.S.O. — you help someone you know. Browning Amusement Co. ATTRACTIONS