Camp Adair Sentry June 25, 1942. (Stop for saddle, chaps, spurs and PAT DRAWS IDEA rope.) Event No. 7—Five-eighths mile, Week-End Jaunts “To be entirely at leienre for one free for all—$22.50, $12.50. day is for one day to be an immortal ” Event No. 8—Relay race (three —Chiaese proverb. horses), one and one-half mile — $30.00, $20.00. By Edith Durgan i Event No. 9—Chariot race (two | Western Oregon will have at horses), half mile—$27.50, $17.50. Event No. 10—Wild horse race— [least two Fourth of July celebra- [tions with Independence announc- $10.00, $5.00, $2.50. ling this week that it will celebrate [starting Friday, July 3, and contin. luing through Sunday, July 5. The By Hy Brid |26th annual Calapooia Roundup at [Crawfordsville July 4 and 5 was 0 Angry Farmer—What fer air ye SSI [discussed in last week’s column, Ivith a promise to print the pro­ cornin’ hame wi’ yer milk pail emp­ ty? Didne the auld coo gi’e ony- gram this week. Proceeds from the festival at thing?” Farm Hand: Ay, sir, the auld [Independence will be used for the [benefit of the USO as part of the coo gi’ed nine quarts an’ one kick.” l$750 quota for that district. I A parade, sports events, speak- Cohen—How iz bizness ? ling and street dancing are among Levi — Bitzness vould be good features of attractions. A carnival, only for one fing. [including merry-go-round, ferris Cohen—And vat is dat ? wheel and side shows has been Levi—It iz rotten. The Irish beggar shambled Over, engaged and will be on the city lots holding out his hand. “! Please give south of the oil station on Second First tramp—I fell into a piece a poor old blind man a dime, sor.” Street. of property the other day. “But you see out of one eye.” The amusement company was Second tramp—G’wan. "Thin make it a nickel.” scheduled to arrive in Independ­ First tramp—’S fact. Fellow left ence this week and be in operation a coal hole open and I fell in it. I a week before the celebration. He had been fishing with no luck. sued that guy. James H. Hart, chairman of the Second tramp — What did you On his way home he entered a fish Independence USO drive, and mem­ market and accosted the clerk. get? bers of the Independence recrea­ “John,” he said, “just stand over First tramp—Got thirty days for tional committee are formulating at that side of the store and throw stealin’ coal. plans for the event. me five of your biggest trout.” At Crawfordsville final plans are “Throw them ? What's the big It was visiting day at the prison being completed and the program idea. ” is now available. Events start at and the uplifters were on deck. “Just so I can tell the family “ My good man, ” said one kindly 10:30 a. m., each day, and persons I caught them. I may be a poor should be seated in the grandstand lady, “I hope that since you have fisherman, but I'm no liar.” come here, you have had time for by that time. meditation and have decided to cor­ The program follows: rect your faults.” Hostess—“It looks like a storm! Event No. 1 “I have that, mum,” replied the You had better stay for dinner.” Caller—“Oh, thanks, but I don’t 10:30 a. m. — Ladies cow horse prisoner in heartfelt tones. “Be­ lieve me, the next job I pull, this think it’s bad enough for that.” contest—$5.00, $3.00, $2.00. baby wears gloves.” Event No. 2 Fisherman—“I tell you. it was 10:45 a. m. —; Gents cow horse “There are some ungodly young that long. F never saw such a'fish." contest—$5.00, $3.00, $2.00. men over in that corner, having Friend-—“I believe you.“ fun with the girls,” said the Event No. 3 preacher, solemnly, as he paused in “Shall we have a friendly game 11:00 a. m. — Children’s (under . the middle of his sermon and of cards?” 12 years) cow horse contest—$3.00, | , pointed accusingly in the direction “No, let’s play bridge.” $2.00, $1.00. ' of the graceless youths. “When , The above three events to be judged as follows: Conformation, i I they get done,” he continued, pon-: “My tongue-tied brother can’t derously, “perhaps they will give pronounce Mias Stone's name.” 40 per cent: way of going, 20 per me a chance.” “Well, Stone is a hard name.” cent; reining, 40 per cent (three of each picked each day to compete Aunt Hetty: “Sakes alive! I “Is he a hard drinker?” in finals). I don’t believe no woman could ever “No, it's the easiest thing he ! been so fat.” Event No. 4 (Daily) does.” Uncle Hiram: “What y' readin' 11:15 a. m. - Ladies musical now, Hetty?” In a Vermont town where two chair—$3.00, $2.00. Aunt Hetty: “Why this paper brothers were engaged in a coal Event No. 5 (Daily) telis about an English woman who business, a religious revival was I 11:30 a. m. — Gents' musical lost two thousand pounds.” held and one of the brothers got chair—$3.00, $2.00. converted. For weeks he tried to A Yankee traveling through the persuade his partner in business to Noon South, in passing a rundown look-1 join the church. One day he asked: 1:30 p. m. — Crowning of the ing place, stopped to chat with the | “Why can't you get religion and queen. farmer. He noticed that the hogs join the church like I did?” Special drill — One day by were running wild over the place. , “It’s a fine thing for you to Governor’s Mounted Guard from “Now up North,” he explained to belong to the church,” replied the Salem. Other day by Lane County the farmer, “we keep our hogs ' brother, “but if I join the church, fastened up in small pens.” Mounted Sheriff’s Posse. who’ll weigh the coal?” “Whut's the object in that, Grand mounted parade (daily). Directed by W. E. Isom and Walt stranger?” asked the native. I come from good old Boston. “Why they fatten much faster Frum. From which will be chosen The home of the bean and the on July 5th: 1st, the most typical when they're fastened up and it cod. cowboy (prize $2.50); 2nd, most saves a lot of time.” Where Cabots speak only to “Well, stranger,” replied the typical cowgirl (prize $2.50); 3rd. Lowells, youngest typical cowboy (prize southerner, “what's time to a And the Lowells speak only to hawg?" $2.50); 4th, youngest typical cow­ God girl (prize $2.50). —Samuel C. Bushnell. Farmer (showing friend over the On the track (each event daily). No entrance fee on any track faon): “How many sheep would HOW GOOD ARE YOU? you guess were in that flock?” event: Visitor (waiting a moment): 1. What is the Most delicate Event No. 1—Men’s stock saddle ' organ of touch ? horse race, half mile—$7.00, $5.00, About five hundred " Farmer: "Absolutely correct! 2. Who invented the kodak ? $3.00. 3. What is a cadaver? Event No. 2—Ladies' stock saddle How did yao guess it?” Visitor: "Wai, I jest counted the 4. What American city is known horse race, half mile—17 0*. *5 00. legs, and divided the number by as the “Windy City”? 13.00. 5. What is ticker tape? The horses In the above two four.” 6. Is to defecate a pool (a* to events will be selected by the arena I pollute rt, lb) to purify it. .M. [ Esent No. 4—One-half male, free the maa r name, age, place of On.? for a»—>15-dd. $10.00. re«id«swe; then loqmred: “What’s 8. What ia an incendiary ? 9. Is Kohiaooe: (a) the highest Event No. 5- Ladies poay ex­ r waterfall in the world, (b) a fam- press (two horses), one mile oua Indian diamond, now the prop­ $12M 9740. erty of the British crown, (c) a Ewwt No. d-Oriek change rare, famous untouchable? half mile — $6.00. $3« •2<* Many all-state players to be seen. ALBANY ELKS vtt. 4 BUILDERS WARNERS va. LAUNDRIES