The Oregon statesman., April 29, 1887, Page 3, Image 3

rmspKisaoisr statesman: Friday aprix. 29. igo7.
WIT A5D HUKOB.
Aa Irishman, writing to a debtor, said;
"I confidently expected long before this
to receive frcxa yoa a verj Agreeable sur
prise.' A New York school teacher explained
.to her popUi that, the meaning of the
word "vicissitude" tu change, and she
. called upon a boy to give a sentence ia
which the word was need. The hoy re
plied promptly, "Me mother sent me to
the grocery store (or the vicissitude of a
fire-dollar bill F'
Two Bohemians are seated in a caba
ret. "Garon, some water, cries one of
them. "Some water "exclaims the oth
er. "Why. what will yoa do with itr
"Drink it' "Yoa must here lost yoar
head, old man. Why, when too only
get your feet wet yoa catch cold. Think
of the eonseaaences of getting it into
your stomach.' ' French Fun.
A local dirine relates with much gnsto
the anosoal honors paid htm at a late
funeral serrice which be attended. On
his arrival, the widower, chief mourner,
"arose and addressed the assembly as fol
lows: "My friends, I hare the pleasare
of introducing to yoa the Rev. Dr. .
We'd better sing something. Suppose
we try the doxology 1" Boston Common
wealth. A landlord, noted for his bale of per
son, was lying seriously ill, and one of
bis tenants who came to iaquire after
"the mastber," was informed that he
was being, kept op by the occasional ad
ministration of a teaspoon full of brandy.
Whereupon he replied, somewhat con
tempt ooualy : "Tayspoons, is it! And
what good would a tayspoon be sthraying
about in such a wilderness of a man ?"
Chicago paper.
Kellie, whose grandfather began life as
a cabin boy and finished as a millionaire,
was paid by her mother 1 cent a dozen
for pins picked up from the carpet, to
keep the', baby from getting them.
"Nurse," said Nellie, as the stock of pen
nies increased, "do yoa know what I am
going to do when I have six cents?"
. "No," answered nurse. "I am going to
bay a paper of pins and scatter them over
the floor, and then pick them up," re
plied the young financier, who was barely
five years old. -Babyhood.
There is a great hope for a boy when
he developes valuable ideas of economy
at the age of seven. Such, a person ia
the youthful Tommy, whomanaged the
other night to get his face extremely
dirty after be had eaten his supper, and
was told by his mother to wash it before
he went to bed. "But, mamma," he
said, "don't you think it'd be kind of
wasteful to wash my face now?" "Waste
ful? What in the world do you mean,
Tommy?" "Why, what isn't any use is
wasteful, isn't it? And it wouldn't be
any use to wash my face now, 'cause
nobody'H Bee it In the night." Boston
Transcript.
A good anecdote is related of Dr. Rice
which enforces its own lesson. V hen he
was at the head of the Theological Sem
inary in Prince Edward, one of the out
parishes of Virginia sent to him for a
minister. They, as usual in such cases,
wanted a scholar, a gentleman, an orator.
a pastor, a fino writer in short, a perfect
minister. They "had formerly given
$350 per annum, but now, if they could
get such a man as they wanted they
could raise it to $400. The doctor an
swered by telling them to send to Heaven
for D. Dwight. "lie was the only such
man he ever knew : and, as he had been
a good while on spiritual food, he might
possibly live on 400." Chicago Living
Church.
LITTLE PEOPLE.
Chilil firandna. how old are vou?
Grandpa I am H7 years old, my little.
dear. Child Ilien you were born no
years before I was. (J rand pa Yes, my
little girl. Child What a long, long
time you had alone waiting for me.
Gospel Age.
A lady told thin story the other day in
Korwis, the incident having occurred in
her own family : "A small boy was re
quested to look up the word 'anony
mous,' and use it in a sentence. lie
found the meaning to be 'without a
name,' and thereupon handed the follow
lowing to his happy parent: 'Mamma
has given us a new baby; it is anony
mous.' "
Teacher (in a small girl who had
"skipped school") Where have you
been, and what have yoa been doing all
the morning ? Small girl (working the heel
of her shoe into a crack in the floor)
Part of the time riding down hill. Teach
er (with an encouraging smile as a rec
ognition of veracity) And what were
you doing the rest of the time Small
girl (naively) Walking up! Albany
Journal.
A little friend of mine was recently
taken to the place where his grandfather
had been buried a few weeks previous
a lonely spot on the edge of a gloomy
wood down in Le Sueur county. "Is this
heaven, mamma?" whispered the little
fellow, fearfully. "No, dear; this is a
grave-yard." ''Well," returned the lit
tle fellow, thoughtfully, "I'm glad it
isn't. Yoa told me grandpa had gone to
heaven, and I thought that this was the
place." St. Paul Pioneer Press.
A little Boston girl of six summers
whose high-bred King Charles spaniel
was entered for the dog show was over
heard giving very earnest advice to ber
darling opon the proper manner of con
ducting himself in this strange show to
which he was going; and she laid espec
ial stress npon the company he was to
keep there: "Don't 'sedate with cem-
i ; . . .J L!m lm,imaa
ively. -Yoa may speak to the presi
dent's dog. Queen Victoria's dog, and
i ii. i . it
uu uw a uog.
BUISNESS IS BUISXESS.
Old Ladv(U street urchin) Wouldn't
you like to be a good little boy and go to
Sunday school and be taught not to swear
or say wicked things?
Little boy No'm. Me fadder's gotn' to
git me a job on de canal to drive the
mules aoon's nsvigashun opens, an' a
mustn't do anythin' to interfere wid de
bixuess N. Y. Sun.
SUNDAY koRSLVO.
Little Boy (studying his Sunday school
lesson) Pa, how do yoa spell Pharaoh ?
Pa (thoughts else where ) F-a-r-o. N .
Y.Sun. . ,
TELEGRAPHIC SUMMARY.
Apraa.
Ukiah staze robbed near Honlaiuf
cai. ,. ..m ' '
Parnell and Risrmr wiTI an that Tn,,
Times for libeL
land, has arrived at San Francisco.
German nlhn!u nrltMrfa ttHnmM if
' f wm aw mmm WWf- V V wa,
McGlyna's position on the land question.
second week of April were $166,391 less
thaa for the preceding week, said to be
caused by the interstate law.
Three PeraOM nmriosialw IninMul in an
accident on the Atlantic and Pacific near
Aioaooemoe, s. M. An engine track
wheel broke and caused the accident.
Captain Wirt Bash, of the 28th N. Y.
volunteers, who waa th first -ml
to enliM in the civil war, died in Lock
port, N. Y., in a hut, surrounded by filth,
and ia abject poverty.
Lord Salisbury addressed the Primrose
league at Albert palace on the 6th anni
versary of thejdeatbof Lord Beaconsfield,
and in the speech he indulged in a bitter
denunciation of Gladstone and Parnell.
Managers of roads between Chicago
and St. Paul and Minneapolis recently
met at Chicago, and failed to agree on
the proposition to ask the interstate com
mission to suspend the long haul clause.
, April 21.
Wheat and flour shipments are blocked
at San Francisco.
Nova Scotia wants to withdraw from
the Canadian confederation.
The Canadian Pacific is bidding for the
Pacific coast salmon shipment.
Chas. Johnson, a Russian Finn, was
knocked overboard from a fishing smack
at Astoria and drowned.
Price of coffee raised 50 points, and
caused much excitement among dealers.
Labor anions will demand 10 per cent,
reduction in tenement rents on May 1st
at New York.
There was a terrible collision of work
trains near Cleelam, W. T. Five men
were killed outright. .
Out of $100,000 worth of diamonds and
jewelry burried in the Del Monte ruins,
about $20,000 worth has been recovered.
The lord mayor of Dublin has called
a meeting for the purpose of taking steps
toward the erection of a national memo
rial to Gladstone.
Eastern cities protest against the sus
pension of the long haul clause in the
interstate commerce law, while western
commercial centers, and indastries are
clamoring for it.
April 23.
Whitelaw Reid. editor of the Tribune,
is still solid for Blaine.
Tli ere is still much talk in England
over the alleged Parnell letters.
The Northern Pacific will build some
big grain warehouses at Tacoma.
It is now stated that President Cleve
land has positively declared that he will
not be a candidate for re-election.
There is a grand ojera craze in San
Francisco, caused by the appearance of
the great National opera company.
Henry George writes an article saying
that he saw Parnell informed of the Phe
nix park murder, and that Parnell was
shocked and pained to hear of the tragic
new$.
They had a row yesterday in the New
York state senate. The prolonged polit
ical struggle between the democratic
governor and the republican state senate
over the apointment of a railroad com
missioner was the cause. o barm done.
Only lots of newspaper ammunition fur-
niciieu.
The German authorities arrested a
French commissary named Schnaebels
on German territory, and the Paris pa-
tiers are kicking dp an awful row over the
matter. There will probably lie no war
between these unfriendly powers over the
matter, rnt the event goes to show tne
feeling that exists.
The Mexican constitutional amend
ment has nassed the house of deputies.
It provides that a president may be elect
ex! for a second term. This is a move for
the re-election of President Itfaa, who has
done much toward the encouragement of
American enterpme and the develope-
ment of our sister republic.
ASSAILING HUGO'S MEMORY.
Next week, I hear we are to have an
rolnme of letters and
Sen-landscapes by the author of "Le
line rabies. The moment is ill-chosen,
for the reaction against the dead poet is
setting in strongly. The young generating
.WW If f .If . v. in..
ta against lingo ami in ijt u
i. ;ii k. unrtn a !efininitir tied-
DUU Wilt " - . .
estal, while Hugo will be dragged in the
mire and covered with opprobium, both
as a man and as a poet, until his turn
shall come some twenty years hence for a
m t -tunwrnim An amiahl hinoranher
is already preparing a narrative of the
nnedifying details of Hugo's private life
of the consolatory huson of Mme. Hugo
with Sainte-lieuve ; me counter uwu
ik. , with Mm Droet. the actress.
and of the sadness of the later of the poet s
life, as seen irons oeuinu u k
. ii .k tka irUr nf the nerDetual and
often grotesque glorification of which his
memory is now the victim. Considering
the natural pessimism of the age. it would
l . tr rKU that this book
shoaldneverbe published. Paris Letter
to London oria.
LITERARY BOOM IN ST. LOCIS.
Lady (in SU Louis bookstore) I will
1 W mt mnma twkk. tlleSSC
Proprietor Yes ma'am. What color
i
Kilt I r imj . . . .
Lady Blue and gold, I think, and
something about nine inches long and five
inches wide. N. x. eon.
.
FOR REVENUE.
"My dear, how can you goon in this
wav? too are tow jc.-- " T,
tome tbe sense of protection which I
bring to too- " , L .
"Sir, I dfcln't marry yoa for protection."
r.n i - w . , "
"For revenue. ow,;t
get me that Easter bonnet, or area t you?"
FOR OFFICE SEEKERS.
.. I heard a story repeated the joined jla j
as an "Abe Lincoln story, bat which is
older and must hare slumbered some
where for a good while. Certainly it is
not one that the politicians would be
likely to repeat on the stamp, because It
reflecta on their craft. In a little group
at the Parker House a ratbfer noisy yoang
politician from the city hall was echoing
the sentiments of Henry Watterson. and
defending the principle that the spoils
belong to tne victor. I see no reason,"'
said he, "why any republican should be
kept in a federal office here in Boston
while I, a democrat, who have worked
hard for the party, am left oat in the
cold." "That reminds me," said an
elderly man, whom all the town would
recognize if I were to describe him, "of
an incident that I heard of early in Lin
cola's administration. There was a local
politician who went on to Washington to
get an office that he felt sore only awaited
his application to be given to him. In a
couple of weeks be came back. 'Well,
did yoa get yoar officer nis friends
asked him. 'No,' said he. 'Did yoa see
the president V 'Yes, of course.' 'What
did he say r 'Well, we went in and stated
oar errand. He heard us patiently, and
then said : ''Gentlemen, I am sorry that
I have no office for Mr. , but if leant
rive too that. I can tell vou a storv." We
thought best to hear the story and let
mm go on. Unce there was a certain
king," he said, "who kept an astrologer
to forewarn him of coming events, and
especially to tell him whether it were go
ing to ram when be wanted to go on
hunting expeditions. One day he start
ed off for the forest with his train of la
dies and lords for a grand hunt, when the
train met a farmer tiding a donkey on
the road. 'Good morning, farmer,' said
the king. 'Good morning, king,' said
the farmer, 'where are yoa folks going?'
'Hunting,' said the king. 'Lord, you'll
all get wet 1' said the farmer. The king
trusted his astrologer, of course, and
went to the forest, but by mid-day there
came on a terrific storm, that drenched
and buffeted the whole party. . hen
the king returned to his palace he had
the astrologer decapitated, and sent for
the farmer to take his place. 'Law's
sake,' says the farmer, when he arrived,
'it ain't me that knows when it's goin' to
rain, it's my donkey. When it's goin' to
be fair weather that donkey always car
ries his ears forward, so. When it's go
in' to rain be puts 'em backward, so.'
'Make the donkey the court astrologer !'
shouted the king. It was done. But
the king always declared that that ap
pointment was the greatest mistake he
ever made in his life." Lincoln stopped
there. "Why did he say it was a mis
take?" we asked him. "Didn't the don
key do his duty?" "Yes," said the pres
ident, "but after that time every donkey
in the country wanted an office 1" The
shout of laughter that echoed from the
hotel corridor at the telling of this narra
tive would have made the fortune of two
or three entirelv new stories. Boston
Poet.
A CHARMING LADY 'DENTIST.
Clara Neymann's bright daughter, Olga,
has opened a dentist's office in New York,
and is, I think, about the only woman in
that profession in the city. Dentistry
and medicine are in some ways closely
allied, but there are hundreds of women
in the former to one who is attracted to
the Utter. Miss Neyman was graduated
from the Philadelphia College of Den
tistry a year ago or thereabouts, and is
making a satisfactory beginning in tne
business she has chosen. She reports,
when one questions her of her success, a
cordial greeting from ber brothers in the
profession, though it is permissible to
wonder if her piquant face and trim figure
have not something to do with the wel
come she receives. Miss Neymann's sur
roundings abate a good deal of the terror
that waits on the footsteps of the dentist,
chilling the blood of bis prospective vic
tims, for all is sunny, homelike and fem
inine to a degree. New York Letter.
A POETIC FAITH.
An old and well known spiritualist
showed me on his parlor wall the other
day a shadowy crayon sketch, full length,
of a little girl, who in one hand held up
her apron full of flowers and with the
other held to her nose a ro-ie which she
had picked out of the heap in bis Up.
"I gladly gave $50 for that," said the old
gentleman, as he surveyed the sketch.
"It is a picture of a spirit artist of my
little grand-laughter, wbo died at four
months, and is now eleven years old."
Evidently the old gentleman believed, if
the picture was, as he said it was, a good
likeness, that the emu naa not only
grown up in the spirit land, but had
found some body to dress her in a con
ventional frock and then set her to the
occupation of gathering flowers on the
other side of Jordan.
ODDLY JOINED.
The following-named couples were "pro
claimed in marriage" in Chicago last year
if County Cierk Wulff's record has been
faithfully kept:
Thomas Black and Mary White,
Peter Day ai.d Ellen Knight.
Solotnan Bank and Catherine Vale,
James Hill and susan Dale,
Isaac Slater and Jane Thatcher,
John Barker and Mary Botcher,
Stephen Head and Nancy Heart,
William Stately and Jessie Smart,
Joseph Uetd and Julia Hay,
Thomas Spring and Mary May,
Joseph Brown and Kitty Green,
John Robins and Jenny Wrens,
William Castle and Nancy Hall,
Peter Chatter and Fannie Call,
Joseph Mann and Elixa Child,
John Merry and Lacy Wild,
Thomas Brain and Mary Bare,
James Fox and Catherine Hare,
Andrew Clay and Lacy stone,
Michael Blood and lizzie Bone,
John Cloak end Julia Hood'
Edward Coal and Nancy Wood,
James Broom and Ellen Birch,
Charles Chapel and Susan "Church
Pretzel's Weekly.
JCST WHAT THXT AIX SAT.
Hon. D. TX Bars! of Salem, miaou, says be
um Dr. Boaanko't Coogh and Lame syrus ia
hia f&amilr wits tha mom aatUfaetorr ms!u, ia
mil n. hi MMthL wtieiAm mmA ma. mmA fa
' ommna n is saraeoiar mr u uiu
Sample bottls 4 cents at Geo. B. Good's.
GERYAIS NOTES.
oBOBraore
Jolliett Bras, are building a fine wagon
shop. ' J "
H. Kaminsky, of Cherry, W. T.. is in
the city.
SL Louis has a fine singing school.
with Piof. Clark as teacher.
Whoop up yoar fourth of July celebra
tion. We'll join the procesh.
Gervais will spend $500 in pUnking
ber streets, during the next thirty days.
N. Goodman and son shipped thirty
car loads of wheat to San Francisco this
week.
Mrs. Edmund Daffey has succeeded
Miss Rose Mitchell in the millinery busi-
Hops are looking well in this vicinity.
A number of new yards will be set oat
this season.
Several Odd Fellows and their friends.
of this place, will attend the anniversary
celebration at Butteville on the 26th.
Quite a number of oar church -going
people will go to Aurora next Sunday, to
assist Ivev. Ingle In organizing a church
at that place.
Baseball was inaugurated here last
8anday, the first game of the season.
r - 111 1 - 3 1 ! ! .15
uervais wui nave a goua junior nine wis
season.
THE REVEREND FIDDLER.
"People used to think it wicked to fid
dle," remarked the clergyman, Uying
down the violin.
"So I have heard," replied an auditor.
"Years ago. if my congregation bad
heard me play the fiddle they would
have considered me beyond redemption,
but they don't seem to mind it in the
least, now."
"I suppose," replied the other speaker,
"they have become used to it."
And then the minister looked interro-
ettion points, bat said nothing. Pitts
urg Dispatch.
GAVE AWAY HD3 GAME.
Patient Well, doctor, how's my
pulse?
Doctor (counting) One, two, three,
four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten,
jack, queen, king.
Patient Why, doctor, wnafer yoa do
ing?
Doctor Beg pardon. Sixteen, seven
teen, eighteen a very bad case, sir.
Patient Yes. I should think so. r.r
how long have you been affected this
way? Judge.
IN THE RESTAURANT.
Brown Aw, John, was Mr. Smith in
neah yesterday?
John Yessir.
Brown Did he awBk awfter me ?
John Yeeeir.
Brown What did you tell him ?
John Told him you had gone for the
day.
Brown Well, what did he say to that?
John "Good enough" was 'is werry
words, sir. Life.
NO CARDS.
Angry stranger (to assistant editor) Is
the man who is responsible for that ar
ticle in?
Assistant Editor No, Sir.
Angry Stranger WTiere does he sit ?
Assistant Editor The corner desk, sir :
the one that has the 44-caliher revolver
for a paper weight. Will you leave your
card, sir?
Angry Stranger (mildly) N-no. N. Y.
Sun.
THE CZAR AT 'BREAKFAST.
Cxarina (coming in to breakfast) Good
morning, my dearvitch !
Czar Good morningscoff!
r!rjirina Allnw hia ta mnirratnlata von
upon vour escaping assassination during
the night.
Czar Tbanski ! Will you please taste
the coffee to see if it is poisoned?
ruck.
BEATING THE RECORD.
First Landlubber I see that
the
Dauntless has beaten the record.
Second Landlubber In what way?
First Landlubber Her fresh water
gave out before the beer and champagne
N. Y. Sun.
ADTICX TO XOTHIXa.
Are yew disturbed at nigh aad broke ef year
rest by a tick child ruffeting aad crying with
pats of sotting teats? tf so, send si awe and
get a bottle of Um WlnaloWs Soothlag Syrvp foe
Children's Teething. Mi raise Is IncaieulaVs
n will relieve tte poor little snffsror Immedi
ately. Depend spew tt, sotbera, ft ere ia as
aslatake abewt tt. II eares dlsesttery aad diarr
hoea, regulates the ttosBses aad bowsk, sons
wlad eoUe. softens Ote gas.FsJnsse iaaaa
Uou. sad gives tows aad saergy the whole
system. Mrs, Wlnelow's
Booth I ng flyrwf) far
Meant Is the last, aad
of the oldest aad best
Children's
Toothing la aleesant
is ui preeenpaoe) of on of tbe
female aareae aatd physicians ta ta Unite
ua, bj i for sale by all drwniata laxoaga,
us wucju. rrras at eaaiia a eonio.
ccrk rest nucs.
Pile are frequently precede by a sense of
weight la the back, loins aad lower pat t of the
ab4oaaa, eaaainf thm pattest to sappnee be baa
some affection of the kidneys or neighboring
oraraaa. At timee srmMoaas of Indtresttoa are
present, tatnleaer, an easiness of tbe stomach.
eta. a saotstaro, use persptrauoa, ptvaaetng
a very diaagreaabla Itching, after getting warm.
Is common attendant. Bllad. SteediBC aad
itching piles yield at one to the application, of
Dr. Boosaaao's Pile Remedy, which acta direct
ly upon tbe parts effected, absorbing tbe tumors,
allaying the Intense itching .aad effecting a per-
snstn cnreL race ae eeata, aoareaa, toe Dr.
Boseako Medicine Co.. Pi qua, O. Sold by Goo.
a. uooo.
' FILES CAN Mat CTJRED.
Wsem cut, X. T May IS, ISSS.
Far thirty-two rears I bare suffered from
plies, both internal and external, with ell their
attendant acoaiea, and like maatr another saf-
fered front hemorrhoids. All taoes thtm-two
rears I had to era ma mvaelf to nav doctors and
drsf gists for stag that waa doing sne little or no
gooa. rinauyi wasargea fry on waoaas nas
the earn com plaint, bat sad been cured by
Brasdratb s ful to try his cure. Idideo, and
becaa to iaaaewre. and for U aat two rears I
bve bad no iaeoaveaienee front that torrrbi
mi iwrnwrM .
sUcatas Bzxvrrr.
0RI6I5 OF A FAMOUS SONG.
t unce over tne oar as lis entrance tram
the gulf, the Swanee river hold 'its' way
, with a deep current, in places of forty
( feet, far up through tbe forests of the
I be hard pine In the stats. It is the
i l enobscot of Florida. It baa some nod
land opon it where plantations have
I heretofore been made, but after awhile
! generally abandoned. The mosquitoes
ana maisna guard toe main entrance
against other thaw lumbermen, anglers.
and intrusive .tourists. This dark river
has, too, its romance, aa being the place
which gave rise to a melody which, like
"Home, Sweet Home," the affection of
the heart will never let go. For it was
here that a French family In the time of
Louis XIV came over and settled on the
Swanee and made a plan tat ion. After
awhile the father and mother and all
died save one daughter, who, disheart
ened and desolate, returned to France,
and there wrote, adopting in part that
negro dialect which she had been famil
iar with on the plantation in her girlhood.
a feeling tribute to "the old folks at
nome" in their graves In tbe far-off coun
try. Augusta, Ga., Chronicle.
THE CUNNING QUAIL.
Tbe celerity and perfection with which
a quail can secrete itself wlten it siigbis,
after it has been flashed, has often been
a source of surprise to the sportsman ; but
if all of these game birds act as did one
observed by Henry Ray of Gilmer, Tex.,
their success in hiding U no longer sur
prising. He was walking in a field with
his dog when a covey of birds(was flushed
and one alighted near him, and the
moment it did so seized a dead oak leaf,
crouched to the ground and threw the
leaf over its back, so that it was com
pletely hidden from view. Mr. Ray had
actually to go and torn over the leaf
before he could believe the evidence of
his own eyes. Eastern Exchange.
MAN WANTS A TONIC.
When there U a lack of elaatlo enerjy la the
yitembowa by a sensation ( languor and un
rest la tbe morning , frequent yawning daring
tbe day and disturbed sleep at night, Hoete tier's
Stomach Bitten lahiaee anwonted energy into
tbe enfeebled and nervous, endowing them
with muscular energy, an ability to repose
healthfully, and digest without inconvenience.
Kerveusness, headache, biliousness, impaired
appetite and a feeble, troublesome stomach, are
all and speedily set right by this matchless ia
Tiforant and regulator. Tbe mineral poisons,
among; them strychnia, and nua romlca, are
nerer safe tonics, even in infinitesimal doaea.
The Bitters answers the purpose more effectual.
It, and ea be relied upon as perfectly safe by
the most prudent. Ferer and ague, kidney
troubles and rheumatism yield to 1L
HOW TO SECURE HEALTH.
scorill'i Barsapartna and 8tlllinrta or Blood
and Liver Syrup will restore perfect health ts
the physical organisation. It Is, Indeed, a
strengthening; syrup, pleaaaat to take, and has
ften prorea ltaelf to be the beat blood puiSJBer
ever dlsoeTered, effectually curing; scrofula,
syphilitic disorders, weakness of the kidneys,
erislpelas, malaria, all nerrous disorders and
debility, biUous complaints, and all diseases
indicating aa Impure condition of the blood,
liver, kidneys, stomach, etc It corrects indi
gestion, especially when the complaint is of an
exhaustive nature, having a tendency to lessen
the vigor of the brain ana nervous system.
' WHY WILL. TOO DIK ?
BcoviU's Sarsaperilla or Blood and Liver
Syr op for the cure of Scrofulous taint, Kheu
matisnOVhite Swelling, Goat, Goitre, Consump
tion, Bronchitis. Nervous debility, afalarla,and
all other diseases arising from an Impure con
dition of the blood. Certificates can be presen
ted from many leading physiclaaa, ministers,
and heads of families throughout the laad, en
dorsing Scovill's Blood and Liver Syrup. We
are constantly in receipt of certificates of cures
from the most reliable sources, and we recom
mend it as tbe best known remedy for tbe cure
of the above named diseases.
IHIXAKATIOM THE KIDNETS.
Hon. Edward A, Moore, Member of Assembly
from Richmond county. New York, writes;
"Seme two years ago f was taken with inflam
mation of tbe kidneys. Tbe pain was intense
I applied as soon as possible an Allcork's Porus
Plaster over each kidney. Wonderful to say
the pain and inflamatlon began to abate in three
nours. in two aays l waa entirety curea. i si
wars take treat pleasure In recommending All-
cock's Plaster; they are certainly tbe best ei
ternal remedy known. I used them as ehest
protectors, ana louna tnem moat emcient.
CALIFORNIA CAT "K" CIKE.
Guaranteed a positive cure for Catarrh, Colds
in the Head, Kay Fever, Rose Cold, Catarrhal
Deafness and Sore Eyea; Restores the sense of
Tastes and smell, removes Bad Tastes and Vn
pleasant Breath, resulting from Catarrh. Easy
and pleasant to nsa. Follow directions and a
Cure is warranted by all druggists.
500- KEW A KI.
For a better or more pleaaaat remedy for the
cure of Coonumptlon, Cough, Asthma. Croup,
W hooping Cough, and Bronchial troubles than
Green's Lung Restorer, Santa Abbte, tbe Able
tine and Mountain Balm Conch Cure. Every
bottle warranted by all druggists.
TRIED
CETOE3LE.
Meanest. Ibavetrtadai
bat wftaost I seal i1ag any ji warns ia 1 1 in i St.
Aaaeag taenambet wets sasor two spec talis a.
Taemsillcta they applied was Use at lota
aora, eoaata latsasi pain. I saw a slstsaasal
ta tbe paper tatUag what 111 bad done for
asbare staaOarfr exacts. I proearaS aoaaeat
once. Before I aad assd the eeeoad bottle the
sMb"rs eaald settee that nry
brails;: an. My general health aad I
for two or three years I had a aaekteg eoagh
ana sort baaed aoaclnnetly. I had a sever
pamtaarybreaet. Aitartaktag sU bottles of
as a iv eoagh left as aad I grew etoater
thaa I had beast tor several years. Xyeonear
bee healed over all bat a Ustle spot enoat the
ease eg a half dime, sad tt Is rapidly diaappear
tag. I would advn every eeswKh inner to
gt v S. a. a. a Caar trial.
Kaa. JtaUCT J. bMXWACOBXT.
Asa ftrvn, Tipaaoanoe C. U4.
VaewM, MS.
' Swtni SperlSe SB emtlrary vacwtabia, and
by f arcing eat the I
til SOT SPECIFIC CO.,
S, ATLANTA, GA.
AbcaS lawntj yeariae! ghiiiwisatlOs
aoreoa ma eneek. end the doctors prcmonaesa
rises frees ta basoa.
Skin raaaaaas amfasd free.
SKIN AND SCALP
CIr&nscMl, Pati2ed awd. 2i
fled by the Cuticura EemedSea
tWelsasiBC the STtia aad Sealpof Dtafcr-
arlng U amors, for allaying Itching, Bamlng
aad Iaflamauoa, for ouring the flrst tym rtoaa
of Eczema, Psoriasii, milk Craat, Seald Vend.
Scrofula, and other Inherited Skla and Mood
Dissasea. Ccnccaa. tbe treat Skin Cur, end
CtrnccB Soar, an exquisita gain Beaatiwor
externally, aad CcnccaA Raaotvtirr, taeaww
luood rsriasr, lataraauy, are. uuauibie.
- A COMPLETE CVJKE. . '
1 have sutfered all mr life with akfa dtaassav
of dlsTeeent kind nam bar asvtr femnd per
manent relief, aaul, by tbe advlceor lad y triad
I need yoar valaabla Ccnccaa Kxasviaa. I
rav them a thorough trial, a sing six Dottles of
a CcnccaA KaaoLvorr. two boxes of Cevt-
ccaa aad seven eakeeof Crrtcc aa Soar, aad th
result waa ustwhat I had beea told U woald
be a ooesplete ears. - -. .....
BELLE WADE. Richmond. Va.
Bferaee,O.W . Latimer. Drag) 1st, BtahatondU
SALT KHXXX CTXXD.
I was troubled with Salt Rbenm for a umber
of years, ao that the skin entirely came off on
of my hands from the Sager tips to tbe wrist. I
tried remedies aad doctors' prescriptions to no
Surpoae until I com me need taking Ccticusa
laiDiis'and now I am entirely cured.
a. i. rtauit, stv ftort&amptoa sc, Boston.
DKCCOISTS ENDORSE TUEJC
Hav sold a oaantitv of roar Cuticura Rets.
cdise. One of my customers, Mrs. Henry Ktnu.
wbo had letter on ber bands to such aa extent
aa to cause tha akin to peel orT, aad lor eight
years she suffered greatly, was completely eared
by the use of your medicines.
c N. nye, vrng ut, caniott,obio.
ITCHING. SCALY, riMPXT.
Por the last rear I have had a necies of Itching
scaly and pimply humors on my face to which!
bare applied a greet many methods of treatment
without success, and which waa soeedllv and
entirely cured by Ctmcvaa.
Kaa, ISAAC PHELPS, Kavenna, O.
NO MEDICINE LIKE THEM.
Wehavesold vonrCrnrrBiRiMCDias for th
laat six years, and no medicines on our shelve
give better satisfaction.
c. r. ATttanTUM, wnggtst, Albany, h. t.
Ctmccat Rgasntaa ar sold evervwhere.
Price, Ccncca. M cents. RasoLVKirr. I LOO:
Soap, 25 cents. Prepared by the Pottbb Dane
AKD CHKHICAL ( nostea, Maaa. "MMISr
How ta Care Skin Pis eases."
GRUBS,b7&
ccaa Soar. 7
es,aad
r Ctm-
Humors, cured by
CATAItllH to CONSU3IPTION
Catarrh In iU destructive fore standi next to
and undoubtedly leads on to consumption. It la
therefor singular that tnos afflicted with thla
fearful disease should not make it the object of
their lives to rid themselves of it. Deceptive)
remedies concocted by Ignorant pretenders to
medical knowledge have weakened th oonfl
denceof the great maioiityof sufferers In all
advertised remedies. They become resigned k
a life of misery rather than torture themselves
with doubtful palllaUvea.
But this will never do. Catarrh must be met
at every stage and combated with all our might.
In many cases the disease has assumed danger
ous symptoms. The bones aad cartilage of the)
nose, tne organs 01 neanng, 01 seeing ana taat
lnr so affected as to be useless, the nvula ao
eloagaled, the throat so lanamed and Irritated,
as to produce a constant and irritating oough.
San ford's Radical Cure meets every phase of
Catarrh, from a simple head onld to the most
loathsome ana deitructive stages, it is local
and constitutional. Instant in relieving, per
manent in curing, safe, economical and never
failing. Each packags contains on bottle of the Rad
ical Cure, one box Catarrhal Solvent, and am
improved inhaler, with treatise; price, $L
rotter urug a cnemieai uo., Boston,
i KIDNEY PAINS.
J V And that weary, lifeless, all gone sea
f f I satlon ever preseut with those of la
1 V named kidneys, weak back and loins,
I leeching hips and sides. overworked or
wnm nnt V.w , il.hnil. a. illa.ln.tlnM .
relieved in one minute and speedily cured by
tbe Cuticura Anti-Pain Plaster, a new, original,
elegant and infallible antidote to pain and in
flammation. At all druggists, 25 eta; five for
II; or of Potter Drug Co., Boston.
Buggies, Buggies, Buggies.
HACKS and CAIUCIAGES.
ALL HOME MADE !
Which I now offer for sale at nricee lower
than ever before. Call and examine stock be
fore buying elsewhere, blariamithlog, wood
work and general lobbing of all kinds don
with toeatnesa and dispatch.
IIorHeMhoeltip; a Specialty t
Remember the place.
I . wi . AHBSIHU-U,
At X. Kelly's old stand. Commercial street.
S20-lm-dw
A LAV AYS VICTOBIOUS.
9:
Everr one's dutr Is to not allow the liver, that
stomsch and th kidneys, three great orgaaau
to become eiogged or torpid, and ia lime eipel
all impurities of th blood. Th Oregon Blood
runner, a purely vegetawe com pound, is Th
Kerned r to cure all d I -eases of the kidney and
liver, also tbos caused by impure blood, a bil
ioasneea,eonatlpation, sick headache 'dyspep
sia, screfula, eroptlone of th skin, r be a ma
tism, etc 1 rj it and yoa will Sod It always
victorious in its nettle witn disease, soia every
where, f LOUper bottle. Hit botUes for iM.
tlSLHIT
r.jtm f sad CesplaiBti. A fatal CIry
ixsej. tar tsio si ill szij-
0 IQTEOEOT C2Q
VaalyTWrar.Weakaeai or Lost ef Xsasory
aarauv lunumj bv the nee ef an eaumlr new
remedy. Ta Nwrsat laitat from Spam. Bpan-
nn, tmruiswrmiB,apaga boob;
laetlmoniata. (seat ml'iH Every :
I n. V09kAKaV TMOCHXaf 4
OT. U PXARCE, SALEM,
i Oregon. Headooarters for
th Willamette valley for th
celebrated CofnmMa bicyelaa
aad tricycles. Tbe Columbia
ar waif kkows, are tbe bt
made, aad hav vsinabi lm
proremenu Ur l"7. Tbos
wanting machine will Ao well
t aall aa. or correspond witla.
m before parebaaiag OSes with K. K.
Wad A Cow aa Commercial sUeet. S-U-eodw
PI