The Oregon statesman., April 08, 1887, Page 3, Image 3

fHE OltK3QN STATESMAN: IfRIDAY APIllIifl; !GG7.
..., . . . ...,
A lady preaented bemUlo 8t. Philip
da Neri one day, accusing herself o be
ing given to Blander- Uo yoa frequently
fall into this faaltr inqaired he. "Yes,
father, very often," replied the penitent.
"My dear chad," said Phillip, "yoar
bolt is great, bat the mercy of God is
still greater; for yoar penance, do aa fol
low : Jo to the nearest market, and
purchase a chicken jost killed, and still
covered with feathers ; you will then walk
a certain distance, plucking the bird as
yon go along; yoar walk finished, you
will return to me."
Accordingly she repaired t the mar
ket, bought the fowl, and set out on the
journey, plucking itaa she went along,
as she bad been ordered to do. In a
short time she returned, anxious to tell
of her exactness in accomplishing her
penance, and desiring to receive some ex
planation of one so singular.
"Ah." said Philip, "you Jiave been
very faithful to the first part of my orders ;
now do the second part, and you will be
cured. Retrace your steps ; pass through
all the places you have traversed, and
gather op, one by one, all the feathers
that you have scattered."
"Bat, father," exclaimed the poor wo
man, "that is impossible. I cast the
feathers carelessly on every side; the
wind carried them in every direction;
how can I recover them?"
"Well, my child," replied he, "so it is
with yoar words of slander; like the
feathers which the wind has scattered,
they have been wafted in many direc
tions ; call them bark now, if you can.
Go, and sin no more."
JUDGING THE HOG'S WEIGHT.
Coming in over the Monon route a few
days ago a Chicago drummer sat. musing
by the open window and wiping perspir
ation and coal soot from his brow, and of
coarse occupying two seats. Down in In
diana some place a native came in the
smoker and says :
"Shove along, strantter, an' give a fel
ler a show. Been killing hogs, and feel
all used up."
Then the native sat down, settled him
self comfortably, much to the drummer's
disgust, and resumed :
"Say, stranger, killing hogs is hard
work. Did yon ever kill any hogs?"
Bat the drummer did not condescend
to answer.
"By gosh," continued the irrepressible
Iloosier, "we killed the biggest nog yes
terday that was ever killed in Injeanny.
How much do you s'pose that hog
weighed 7.
Kr ill no answer.
"He was so tamel biz that it took eight
of us to lift him up to the bam stick,
it did, b'gosh. on hain t bo idea how
much that hog weighed, have you
stranger?"
"No, I haven't," the drummer Anally
blurted out, "how much del your d
hog weigh ?"
"I don't know, mister. We didn't
weigh him!"
KELICS OY BEAUTY.
Livia was thirty-three when she won
the heart of Augustus Ca-sar, over whom
she maintained her ascendancy to the
last.
Pericles met Aspasia when she was
thirty-six, and yet she afterward for
thirty years or more had an undiminish
ed reputation for beauty.
The famous Mine. Kecamier was thirty
eight when Barras was ousted from pow
er, and she was without dispute declared
to be the most beautiful woman in
Kurope, which rank she held for fifteen
years. ,
Ninon de I'Enclos, the most celebrated
wit and beauty of her day, was the idol
of three generations of the golden youth
of France, and she was seventy-two
when the Abbe de Berais fell in love
with her.
Mile. Mars the celebrated French
tragedienne, only attained the zenith of
her lieaaty and power when forty and
forty-fire. At that period the loveliness
of her hands and arms especially was
celebrated throughout Europe.
De I'oic tiers was thirty-six years of age
when Henry II then Duke of Orleans
and just halt her age became attached
to her. and she was held as first lady
and the most beautiful woman at court
up to the period of the-monarch s death.
Catherine II of Russia was thirty-three
when she seized the empire of Russia
and captivated the dashing young uen
eral Orion. Up to the time of her death,
at sixty-seven, she seemed to have re
tained the same bewitching powers, for
the lamentations were heartfelt among
all those who had ever known her per
sonally. Helen of Trov was over forty when
she perpetrated the most famous elope
ment on record, and as the siege of Troy
lasted a decade she could not have been
very juvenile when the ill-fortune of
Paris restored her to her husband, who
is reported to have received her with
unquestioning love and gratitude. Phil
adelphia News.
WHAT KILLED HlST
Wife (with newspaper) to husband-
Here is another forcible temperance lec
ture : (Reads.) "Young Spillers got into
a boat and ahoved out into the river, and
as he was intoxicated, be upset the boat,
fell into th river and was drowned."
"Now. sir (addressing her husband), if
he had not drank whisky be would, not
have lost his life."
Husband Let me see. He fell into
the river, didn't he t
Wife Of course he did.
Husband Didnt die until he fell in ?
Wife James, vou are positively silly
Of course he didn't die until he was
drowned.
Husband Then it was the water that
killed him. Arkansas Traveler.
The wife of a fanner living in the up
per part of Passaic county, N. J., pre
sented her husband with twins eighteen
months after her marriage. Two years
later she gave birth to triplets, and on
Tuesday week she astonished ber hus
band with a quartet. He says it's all
right, as he can raise them all, and
more, on a farm. Troy limes.
Dr. 8. K. Saloman of the bureau of an
imal industry at Washington says that
fully 125,000 to 150,000 human lives are
lost every year through the use of milk
THE SEW LAWS.
' rvmusaxD by acthoritt. , '
An Act to Provide -for the Publication of
Report of the County Finances.
mL01 kgtive sasem-
bly of the state of Oregon : ,
BXC. 1. It shall ha Ih. An t v
county clerk of each county on the first
dav of Anril nni m h. t -J-
October in each year to publish in one
, , ' PPer tumng a general
circulation in th mmf. . i
- , m tepmt auuw-
tng correctly the number and amount of
Islm a I . I ' .
-wu mj we county court, and
OB What account! tha amnnnv rJ
orswn, and the amount of, outstanding
&KC. 2. Ha ahT1 at I1' a-- :
- o UUJQ,
and in the same connection publish a re-
pw. u. um snenu. rus county, showing
the amount of nu-M ha hu jf
and the amount of warranto he has re
ceived for taxes, and the amount of mon
ey he has turned over each month to the
treasurer, and the total thereof during
the past six months.
bxc.3. tie shall also, at the same
tlQ16. &lla ill th Bam A rVmnanrtm tvk
- w - vkvv-fcaaB rj KT"
usn a report of the count v tn.jmr-
showiBg the amount of money he has re
ceived and from what
past six months, witii the date of its re
ceipt ana rrora wnom; the amount of
monev he has naiti oat nn imiti mwA
the amount of money on hand at that
oaie.
See. 4. Tha clerk shall t.rnn
attach to said reports a summary which
enau snow, in aa respects, the exact
financial condition of his county at said
dtate.
6kc5. To aid the county clerk ia
making the report, publication and sum
mary herein nrovulad- it shall ha th
duty of the county treasurer and sheriff
to me with the county clerk on the first
dav of Anril and th firat Hiw rsT rWsiVwn.
of each year the reports as above speci-
ueu.
8 EC. 6. It shall hn tUn Antr at hi
justices of the peace in each county to re-
pui w mo tvuuij mawurer once in eacn
mAnth tUm fimmmt n all flnA kaA
w w UMVO VVllVVmi
by them, from whom collected and what
the fine was for, and at the same time
pay to the county treasurer in money the
full amount of "said fines collected. If
said justices of the ..peace have collected
no fines, then thev shall re nor t that fart
to the county treasurer.
sac. 7. The cost ot publishing the re
port in the weekly paper shall be paid
for out of the county treasury at the same
rate as now allowed the state printer for
doing similar state work.
8kc. 8. The county clerk shall receive
the sum of two dollars for preparing said
report. He shall also record each report
including those of the sheriff and treas
urer, as provided for in this act in a book
prepared for that purpose, for which re
cording be shall receive the sum of ten
cents per folio.
8 c. 9. The secretary of state shall
prepare the necessary blank forms to car
ry this act into operation, and shall fur
nish the same to the county clerks 'of the
aavttraJ mnntw.a ani )H mn-tv aKatl
pay the secretary of state the actual cost
of printing the same according to the
quantity supplied each.
Bec. 10. Any officer wilfully violating
any of the provisions of this act, shall be
deemed guilty of a misdemeanor, and
upon conviction thereof, shall be fined
not more than twenty-fire dollars for
each offense to be paid into the county
treasurv for the benefit of the common
schools. ,
8ec. 11. Justices of the peace shall
have jurisdiction of all offences under
this act, and the prosecuting attorney
shall prosecute all actions for violations
nf tKia ant m rsf ailioH Vtjk anritlArl t iiAfA
the same fees as are now allowed him by
law lor prosecuting other criminal actions
in the justices' courts.
Sec. 12. It being important that the
tax-payers of this state shall be informed
of the condition of their county finances,
this act shall take effect, and be in force
from and after its approval by the gov
ernor.
Approved February 14th, 1887.
THE YELLOW GOWN.
Yellow has been one of the most fash
ionable colors in New York and Wash
ington this winter. Once upon a time a
yellow dress was considered an impossi
bility, but Mile. Mars changed all that ;
hnw AnlAhrt nrpttilv relates in his ''In
discretions and Confidences." It seems
that when the celebrated r rench actress
raa nlavintr in I.vnns she was visited bv
one of its great manufacturers, who in-
. . . . i t i
lormea tier mat sne aione couio mase
his fortune, spreading before her as he
mrrm a niw rJ otm'mw llrt ar torrv
velvet, which he begged her to accept.
..1 . . ... i . . i . j
ill lie. aiars uiougnt uie man uiau anu
olainnAH "MiMi Dien. mnnnKMir! what
do you want me to do with that velvet?"
"To have a gown made oi it."
"But nobody bss ever worn a yellow
gown."
"Kitrtlf von will set the fashion I
shall be made rich." To get rid of her
wlaitnr h a4raa av ! the fabric.
and on her return to Paris showed it to
her dressmaker, who admired its quality,
but naively inquired what was to be
done with it.
"It was given to me for a gown," said
th hantifnl Mars, laoirhinst.
"A vellow gown 1 I never sent one oat
in my life!"
Nevertheless, the experiment was
made, and one evening at the theatre
the great actress pat oo her new gown of
yellow velvet, but on inspecting herself
tu tniptnr nwl ah arrrtilii not ra on
the stage "looking for all the world like
ft canary bird." Manager and fellew
actors alike failed to move her, but when
Talme anna iml wA insisted the new
dress was becoming, and on to the stage
stepped its wearer, ene was receivea
with murmurs of admiration, then ap
plause, and "what a charming gown 1"
was uttered on all sides. The next day
all Paris was ringing with Mile. Mars'
vellow gown, and before a month passed
counterparts were seen in all the faahion-
able salons ot toe r rencu capu.
Philadelphia Press.
It was stated at a meeting in Baltimore
tftv EiMrlmin't Aid Sorietv that the
colored people are increasing'faster by
births than the whites are by births and
immigration com Dined.
Philadelnhia Hatters herself that she
has "the most critical dramatic audiences
in this country." It is easy enough to be
critical. All you've got to do la yell
A GOOD EOUTE.
The Horoscope Drawn on tae Probable
' Course of the Trunk Line of the '
Southern Pacific.
The following is from the Oregoniauof
yesterday, and it is likely that it is a
pretty good index to the intention of the
Southern Pacific company, after it se
cures the contract of the O. A. C. and P.
A W.V. By. lines: .
Belative to the desire of the Southern
Pacific to enter Portland on the west aide
of the river, Mr. Reid said: A standard
gauge extension of eleven miles from the
P. & W. Y. Railway company's DroDosed
terminus at Ray's across the French
prairie to the O. A C. railroad near
Brooks station would be very inexpen
sively constructed, would bring Portland
as ner Salem (fifty-three miles) as now,
and save the erection by the Southern
Pacific of an expensive railroad bridge
from East Portland, aa well as the cost of
construction and operation of twenty
eight miles of new railway parallel with
the Willamette river between Corvallis
and Junction. This route would be sev
enteen miles shorter from Junction via
Balem, Dundee and the P. A W. V. rail
way, and a better srade. than via June.
tion Corvallis and Hillsboro on the west
side to Portland. But whether this route
will be adopted, or the Ore&ronian lines
purchased, or the P. & W. V. line con
verted into a standard gauge and narrow
gauge combined Mr. Reid professes to
nave no information, tie believes the
Southern Pacific will take the shortest
ine obtainable to Portland, and as build
ing twenty-eight miles from Junction to
Corvallis and thence to White's and from
White's via Dundee and the narrow
gauge would be 100 miles, as against the
125 miles via Hillsboro and 110 miles via
8alem, Ray's Landing and P. A W. nar
row gauge, he is of the opinion that the
building of twenty-eight miles to Junc
tion from Corvallis and twelve miles
White's to Dundee would cost three times
more than eleven miles of new road from
Ray's to O. A C. R. R. near Brooks. As
the bridge at Ray's must be built a-iy-how
to connect and accommodate the
narrow gauge lines, it seems that the
proposed standard gauge route from
Salem via Kay's Landing bridge and
P. A W. Y. railway would not only be
tha cheapest in construction but the
shortest in mileage to Portland direct.
it is understood that Mr. L. M. Cle
ment, the engineer who visited Oregon
for the Southern Pacific company, carries
with him estimates of the relative cost of
entering this city both ways, prepared
by Mr. II. Hawgood. engineer of the P.
A W. Y. railway, and Mr. Reid.
AN OPIUM SMUGGLER CAUGHT.
Shortly after noon yesterday Inspector
Atkinson of the Customs searching squad
was making his rounds on the steamer
Starbuck in search of smuggled opium,
and entered the room of Samuel Sutton,
second engineer of the steamer. The in
spector was welcomed by Sutton, who
bade the Customs man with great cour
tesy to search the room. The inspector
searched around the drawers, nooks and
corners while the engineer smilingly
looked on.
The inspector bad almost completed
his search, when he spied a mysterious
looking screw in the wall, and took out a
screw-driver and began to loosen it.
"Are you going to take that off?" anx
iously inquired Sutton.
He received an affirmative reply from
Atkinson.
"Great God f It's all op with me.
You've got it this time," said the engi
neer. About this time the secret closet was
opened and a large amount of opium
boxes revealed.
Sutton was taken before the United
States District court.
The seizure amounts to 140 five-tael
boxes of prepared opium, valued at $340.
San i rancisco hxaminer.
DIDX'T BUS WEDNESDAYS.
The actors in Miss Fortescue's company
are telling a rather amusing story 'about
that lady's sister, who is traveling with
the organization. When they were play
;ng recently in Buffalo the youngest Miss
Fortescue came on Wednesday morning
to see the manager, and expressed a de
sire to run down that afternoon with her
mother and visit Niagara Falls. The
manager was afraid some unforeseen de
lay might occur to prevent the lady a re
turn in time for the evening's perform
ance, and he said: "It would be quite
useless for you to go to-day. The falls
are not visible on Wednesdays."
"Indeed I And why not?"
"They always turn the water off on
Wednesdays."
"How extraordinary." responded Miss
Fortescue, and went away quite satisfied
with the explanation.
BOXAPARTES OF WASHINGTON.
The Bonapartes are considered the
most select and exclusive of Washington
society people. Mme. Bonaparte is em
inently aristocratic, and is very conser
vative in the choice ot guests lor her per
fect dinners. Sometimes, however, out
side of her own house Mme. Bonaparte
is obliged to mix with "the people." A
short time ago at a luncheon party the
granddaughter of Daniel Webster, the
wife of a king a grandson, waa seated
next to a piomber a matron.. Mme.
Bonaparte had no reason to be shocked
however If there is any power in the
country which approaches that wielded
by the First Napoleon, it lies in the hands
of the plumbers.
HE GATE UP ALL HOPE.
"Prisoner," said a Nevada judge.
what have you to say to this indictment ;
are voa guilty or not guilty?"
'rtafw T answer the nnest km. iodee.
I'd like to ask Your Honor if this little
spectacle dode is all the lawyer I've got."
"That is Mr. Ferguson, sir," responded
the judge, sternly; "I have appointed
him to defend you, aa you seem to have
o,l
jk4m aaid the rjriaoner. surhinB
heavily, "I'm guilty." Chicago Trib
une.
Vnat hacking eeurh can be so quickly eared
JbyShllohsCum. We guaxanioe U. l
BILL TtJL
Ilrarx, Ark, Feb. 18, 1887;
Bill Nye, Asheville, N. C; '
Dear Coronal Can you tell me if there
is a good opening where you are for a
live, - go-ahead train-robber, fourteen
hands high and of good pedigree? The
industry has been greatly overdone here.
When the train-robbing is let out to the
lowest bidder, the profits are bound to
be smalL It might not pay In your im
mediate vicinity, at I ant told that you
are at a health resort, and I have noticed
that where good health runs riot there
is very little of anything else, bat per
haps you know a locality where it would
pay. I own eighty acres of the finest
dornicks yon ever saw, and I want you to
tell me in bold-faced type, what is best
for me to do. If you say so, I'll stick to
the dornicks until the cows return to
their domicile. The chattel mortgage of
fate, however, is hard to raise on a flag
stone soil. Yours truly.
M. R. White.
Do not murmur or repine over your
hard, macadamized lot, Mr. White, or
seek to become suddenly wealthy by
robbing trains.
If you are determined to go into the
train-robbing industry, however, do not
come here. This is no place for a train
robber. You would not wish to rob an
invalid on his way here for his health,
and just barely alive ; and I am sore you
would not care to rob him on his way
back, when be is strong and well, but
penniless.
That is the worst drawback about train-
robbing here, however. It is the run-
nmg ume oi we trains mat lnieieres
with your trade. A band of train robbers
from Missouri came here five years ago.
hoping to establish a branch of their co
operative train-wrecking and robbing
emporium ; but they were not successful.
It is said that they established them
selves ii p near Round Knob, armed to
the teeth, and awaited the arrival of the
train.
Time passed on.
At first they were not very hungry.
and did not think it advisable to devour
any of their number, bat at last starva
tion overpowered good resolutions and
reason; so one after another of the
younger and weaker of the band yielded
to the frenzied and famine-stricken frag
ment of the once buoyant and self
reliant company.
At last one night just as the moon
clomb the picturesque step ladder of stars
and looked down upon the wild and
beautiful picture of glorified mountain
and sombre valley ; as the last colored
loiterer had returned from the distant
revival, softly humming to himself
"Come to Jesus," while a pair of Ply
mouth Rocks sleepily peered from the
pockets of his army overcoat into the
Elorious night: as the ever-regretful nine
of the Old North State gave back to the
night wind a hopeless whisper in answer
to its light cares, the last of the lusty
robbers yielded to long exposure, famine,
and the sharp, remorseless tooth of
time. His last fluttering breath went
out upon the bosom of the mountain
zephyr as a shrill whistle sounded be
yond the "trussle, and in less than two
hours, almost before bis body had be
come cold and rigid in death, the train,
with a mu tiled ramble and grumble and
roar, with a mad shriek and a hot box,
passed him in its restless flight.
8o you see, Mr. White, that this is no
place to ro9 trains. It is too uncertain.
This is a good place for health, but it is
no place to rob trains. 1 can tell you
where there are some good, robust chick
ens, or at least where they were an hour
ago ; but until the road here has more
respect for its time-table, i would not ad
vise a train-robber in whom I felt an in
terest to come here.
I know that at times your dornick
farm will look bleak and desolate to you,
and you will madly yearn for more soil,
but it is better than the enervating toil of
Bitting night after night in a cold culvert,
wearing a set of false whiskers a size too
large for yoa, and waiting for a train that
may never come.
That is not all, friend White. Train-
robbing is not now what it waa fifteen or
twenty years ago. More people go
' K aa 1 iA nsr triri fArmnrlv AnI -
aawaaA aa'w waeaaa ava sajvs j m aaaiu mvw
who do not go heeled have no money.
In riding through Nebraska some years
ago, I was awakened one night while in
an upper berth by a train-robber whe
was a total stranger to me. lie did not
move in our set. His weapon wobbled
so, owing to bis excitement, that I caught
hold of it to keep it steady, and also in
such a position that if it happened to get
itself discharged the contents would go
through a medical student who occupied
a lower berth. The train robber seemed
to think that I wanted to steal his nice
new revolver, which be bad no doubt
secured by procuring two fresh sub-,
scribers for afchild's paper, and so he re
sisted. We straggled there for half an
hour, I presume, before I succeeded in
robbing him.
A band of robbers it is said, tried to
rob a train bound north from Florida
three years ago, and though they met
with some resistance that was about ail
they did meet with.
One robber got a package of flea
powder, a set of false teeth, and a chest
nut bell.
Another secured a white vest, a buffalo
overcoat, and a small wet alligator. He
did not know that be bad secured the al
ligator until two hours afterward, when a
look of pain came over his face, and one
of bis companions removed him from the
small alligator, which, it seems, had be
come very much attached to the robber
by means of the brow of bis pants.
Another got a diary for T3, an audi
phone, and a truss.
Still another got a cigar-case, a spectacle-case,
and a case of smallpox.
In my opinion a man is a fool who will
ait op nights and lose bis rest in erder to
rob trains, when he can go to congress
and get in his little work on the surplus.
I Boston uiobe.
THE FLOODS AND DEMOCRATS.
GoTeroorHoadly aays that Ohio ia
"God's own country." We suppose this
is so, but Cincinnati, where tha governor
used to live, is very close to the line.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Tor oysters dished la
Chaa. Hells brsad 'a.
style, gojlo
WHY T020C3ILTEE G HIE YES.
Ochiltree is but the shadow of hie for
mer self, mentally sneaking. He weighs
more than ever, but he) feels bed, and
wQI always have a' remorseful ' senaation
under the left lappd of his cutaway coat.
Nov Tom may at all times wrestle with
the truth, with the chances againat him,
dux wnen you see a single tear as big aa
a twenty-carat paste diamond steal gently
over his crimson-toned cheek, you nat
urally think he would not prevaricate.
He says his present gloomy feelings are
caused by his forgetting a promise made
to toe impress Jbagenie some years ago.
"Napoleon III. sent for me on my arrival
in Paris. I frequently dined with the
royal lamuy and lelt perfectly at home.
On one occasion I was left alone with the
empress, and as she gently placed her
oeautucl tapered angers on my arm and
gazed with tearful eyes into my face, she
said : Tom' you know she waa always
familiar with me; Tom, said she, 'there
is trouble brewing between Germany and
France. I know Bismarck has great
confidence in you and places great faith
in your judgment and listens attentively
to what you say. Now. Tom. do talk to
him when you go to Germany, and ex
postulate with him on the utter fallacy of
going to war, and then when you return
to America drop a few lines to Louis'
she always called Napoleon by that name
when speaking to me 'drop a line to
Leuis and tell nim to refrain from giving
vent to his anger and endeavor to pat up
with Emperor William's Dutch non
sense. I of course promised her to do
all in my power to avert the much feared
calamity, but when I got to Germany, in
the tempestuous exuberance of my spirits
I forgot to speak to Bismarck, and came
home without fulfilling my promise. The
consequence waa the long and bitter
ranco-Prussian war. The emneror ia
dead; his widow an exile; his son re
clines in the narrow tomb. Thousands
of brave men gave op their lives, and a
large portion of France was gobbled op
by Emperor Bill, all caused by my for-
Gtting. Do you wonder at my sadness?
t's Uke a drink."-New York Letter
to Pittsburg Dispatch.
A PEACEMAKER.
The peacemaker is not always blessed.
Recently, one of that fraternity approach
ed two men who had been quarreling,
and remarked, "Uh, come, gentlemen,
what is the use of quarreling ? Shake
hands, now, and make it up. Too were
roth wrong."
"Ho i bed when I called Tom a liar.
did I?"
"And I lied when I stated that Jim
was a thief."
"You knock him down, Jim, and I
will kick htm sore," remarked Tom.
The peacemaker was done op to the
queen's taste, though he succeeded in
making friends of the two belligerents.
. i
ADTICX to xothiss.
Ara yea tutorbsd at ntf t aa4 fctokra ( ymu
rant ky a stek atlld uSarlBf mad errlag with i
pais ! eottl&f tMtfcr U ao, aaad at oaoa a&4
(( a bottla of tha Wlaalow't SootMaf Syrap for
CblUran-g Teething. Ha vatae Is taealeoJabis
U will ralUv fee poor Uttte saOarov baaMdl.
stair. Dcpamd apa tt, Bot&arm, thsrs U me
mlsuks absot It tt ears diaratary end diarr
hoea, rerolatss tbs (tomach aad bowaU, enrat
wind eoUe, aaftaaa the rsi.rtilTio loAaima.
ttoa, aad gives toae aad Barry t tha waoW
yrtam. Mrs. WlnaloWs Soothing Syrup for
CblWrnm's Taathjng u pleasant to too taata, aa4
la U praaerlpttoa of on of tha oldost sod boat
leaaalo anraaa aad physicians la tha United
Mates, aad ia for sate oy all drarr lata laioaaa
las World, frtoa eanU botila.
CURB FOR FIXES.
Piles ara frequently preceded bv.'a sense of
wetf ht la tha back, loins and lower part af tha
abdomea, causing the patient to sappoea be has
some affection of tha kidneys or nelchborinc
organs. At times symptoms of Indigestion ara
present, flatulency, uneasiness of tha stomach,
ate. A moisture, like perspiration, producing
a very aiasareeaoie liening, aner renin g warm,
is common attendant. Bliad, Weeding and
Itching piles yield at once to the application, of
Dr. Booeanko's Pile Remedy, which acts diiect
ly upon tha parts effected, absorbing the tumors,
aHayinc tha intense ltcblng.and effecting a per
manent core. Price M cents. Address, tha Dr.
Bosanko Medicine Co., Piqua, O. Bold by Geo.
K. Oood.
HOW TO SECURE HEALTH.
ScoviU's Saraaparflla and Btllltnria or Blood
and liver Syrup will reatora perfect health to
the physical organization. It Is, indeed, a
strengtbeainc syrup, pleasant to take, and has
ften prorea itaelf to be the beat blood purifier
er disoaTered, effectually curing scrofula,
syphilitic disorders, weakness of tha kidneys,
erysipelas, malaria, all nervous disorders and
debility, bilious complaints, and all diseases
Indicating aa Impure condition of tha blood,
liver, kldaeys. stotaseb, eto. It corrects indi
gestion, especially when the complaint is of an
exhaustive nature, having a tendency to lessen
tha vigor of tha brain andaarvous system.
WHY WILL YOU DIB t
Boorill's SarsaperiUa or Blood end Liver
Syrup for tha core of Scrofulons taint, Khea
matismWhtte Swelling. Gout, Ooltre, Consump
tion. Bronohltis. itervous debUlty, kf alarta,aad
all other disease arising from an Impure con
dition of tha blood. CertiSeate can be presen
ted from many leading physicians, ministers,
aad beads of families throughoet tha land, en
dorsing Soot Ill's Blood and Liver Syrup. We
ara eonstaatly la receipt of certificates of cure
from tha moat reliable source, and we recom
mend it as tha beat known remedy for tha euro
of the above named diseases.
IHIXAX ATIOM or THE KIDWKTS.
Hon. Edward A. Moore. Member of Assembly
rota Richmond county, few York, wrllee;
"some two years ago I was taken wtta to nam
tattoo of tha kidneys. Tba pain waa intense
I applied as eon aa possible an Alloork's Porus
Plaster orer each kidney. Wonderful to say
tha pain aad laflamatloa began to abate la three
boors. In two days I was entirely cured. I al
ways Uke treat pleasure ia recommending All
eock's Plssters; they ara certainly tha best as
ternal remedy known. I used them as chest
protectors, aad found then moat efficient."
RELIABLE AKD ALWAYS THE SAME.
Brand n-th 's Pllla are tha oldest, safest, and
best blood paiifiei sad purgative known. They
ara purely vegetable lbs re (ore harm less. They
arealway.tbe eaaae aad alwsvs produce the
same tf.trt. Other purgatives require Increas
ed aewes and snauy cease erring altogether. A
coarse of one or two of Brandreta't PI 11 a takes
each night is a posiUvs euro for constipation,
headache and bilious disorders. If yoa caat
take them plain get them sugar-coated.
A LITTLE LEA YEW
leaveneth tba whole tump. A disease ia one
part of the bodr will er earn ally ail tba whole
body with disease. Every year some part oi
too system grows wees: ana negine to decay.
Such aeun
matter be allowed to take its place. There's ao
need of cutting tt out with a Sanson's scalpel.
Purr away the old, diseased sad worn out part
with Braadreta's Pills. Tben tha new body
SBMMira a removea at oaea ana new
wui uus care vi wwu.
TTFHOLD,
Scarlet and Te'low Fevers ,11 Males, Dlptheria,
Small-pnz, Cholera, Ac Parbys Prophylactic
Fluid srUl destroy the la faction of all fevers and
all ooatageeua aad Infectious diseases. Will
keen the atmosphere of any sck-room pure and
wholesome, absorbing and destroying un
healthy effluvia and contagion resnlung there
froae. Will ueatrsliae any bad smell whatever,
not bv dlaauisinc it. but by destrovins It.
L'se Derby Prophylactio Plaid ia every sick
VITIATED BLOOD.
Scrofoloos, Inherited and Con-
tagious numors Cured ,
.H'l . .fltyCnticnreW- -VI
mHROCGH tba medium of one of yoar banks
1 received taroga Mr. Frank T. Wray, Prwa
rUd. Apollo, Pa., I became acquainted with yostr
CtmcvaA Rajtamss. and take this opportunity
to testify to yoa that their use has pai lasnssnly
cared ana -of esse 4 the worst eassa oi blood
poisoning, Li eonnectian with erysipelas, that I
have ever seen, aad this after ha flag been prok
nou need insurable by some ot the beat phyaio
ians in oureoanty. f take greet pleasure in for
warding to you this testimonial, unsolicited eat
It is by yoa. la order that others suffering froan.
sisallar ms lad loo aaay bo encouraged to givst
your CcncrsA R minus a trial.
P. 8. WHIT LINGER, Leech barf. Pm
Reere noe : Fsas k T. W a y. Druggist Apollo Pa.
ScrofaJoM Clears.
James S. Richardson. Custom House. New Or
leans, on oath says: "In l!70 Scrofulous Lloara
broke eat on wry body until I was a mass ef ear
rapUoa. Everything knows to the medical fao
ity was tried la vain, l oecasae a mere wrecc.
At Umes could not lift mv hands to mr haad-
could not turn in bad; waa inconstant pain, aad
looked upon life as a curse. Ho relief or cure la
tea years. IalssOIbeardof the Cxm eras Ran-
a dies, usea thorn, sod- was perfectly eared. -Sworn
to before V. 8 Com. J. IX. Caawroant -
One af tba Worst Casts.
Wc hare been selling rour Cmcru Rsi
bin tor years, and have the first complaint reC
to receive from a purchaser. One of tba worst,
cases of Scrofula I aver saw was cored bv the user
oQfl re bottles of Cmccna Rcsolvsst and Ctm
cvaA Soar. The Soap takes the cake bare as a
medicinal scan.
TAYLOJt A TAYLOR, Druggists, Frankfort :
Scrofulous, Iaherited, .
Contagious humors, with loss of hair, aad
eruptions of tba skin, are positively cored by
Cntlcura aad Cutlcura Bonn externally, and Cn
Ucura Resolvent Internally, when all other
meaicines tau. nena tor pampniet.
Druggists suae Then.
Wc bava obtained satis facterv results from
the use of tha Cutlcura remedies in our owns
family, and recommend them beyond any other
remedies for diseases of tha skin aad blood.
The demand for them grows as their merits be
come known. MACM1LLAN A CO.,
IruggisU, Latrobe, Pa.
Cutlcura Remedies.
Ara sold everywhere. Price: Cutlcura. that
great skin cure. 60 rents; Cutlcura soap, aa nx
qolalte beantifler. T cents; Cutlcura Resolvent,
the new blood purifier, L Potter Irug ACheaa
Ical Co., Boston.
-pTlfPLEs. blackheads, skin blemishes, aad
XX ill baby humors, use Cntlcura Soap.
CHOKING CATARRH.
Have you ewaxsned from a disturbed sleep
wt'-h all the horrible sensations of aa aissssta
clutching your threat and pressing tba life
breath from your tightened ehestT Have yoa
noticed the languor aad debility that succeed
tba effort to clear yoar throat and bead of this
catarrhal matter? What a depressing Influence)
It tierts upon the mind, clouding tba memory
and Ailing the bead with pains and Strang
noises! How difficult it Is to rid the nasal pas
sages, throat aad lungs of this poisonous ssocua
all can testify who ara afflicted with catarrh.
How difficult to protect the system againat it
further progress towards tha longs, liver and
kidneys, all physicians will admit. It is a ter
rible disease, and cries out for relief and care
The remarkable curative powers, 'when alt
other remedies utterly fail, of Saa ford's Radical
Cars, arc attested by thousands who gratefully
recommend it to lenow suoerers. io statement
is made regarding it that cannot be substanti
ated by the most respectable and reliable refer
ences.
Each packet contains one bottle of the Radi
cal cure, one bos of Catarrhal ttolvent. and an
Improved Inhaler, with treatise and directions,
and is sold by all drug gists for L
Potter prug A Chemical Co., Boston.
HOW MY SIDE ACHES.
ft From the bench and tha counter,
Ej from the loom and sewing machine
V i goes np tha cry of pain and weakness
. Aching sides and back, kidney aatt
L3l uterine pains, strains and weakness.
ouugu. colds and chest P'd, and every pain
ana acne oi oany ton reuevea in one minute
by the Cutlcura Anti-Pain Plaster. New, ele
gant SHit in11fhl A ft -n . . 44, . Mm M
f 1 ; or of Potter Imig aad Chemical Co.,' Boston.
"I have used Simmons Li ver Regulator
for many years, having made it my only
Family medicine. My mother before ma
waa very partial to It It la a safe, good
aad reliable medicine for any disorder
of the system, and if used in Ume is a
great preventive of sickness. I often rec
ommend It to my friends, and shall con
tinue to do so.
REV. JAMES M. ROLLINS
Pastor M. E. Church, Bo., Fairfield, Vs.
TIME AND DOCTORS HILLS
SAVED by always keeplnir. Sim
mons Liver Ketrulator in the.
bouse.
T bava found Simmons Liver Regula
tor tba best family medicine I ever naad
-for anything that may hsppen, nave used
It la Indlgestlon.Colic,Ilarrbna,Biltnis
nesa, and found It to relieve Immediate
ly. After eating a hearty supper, if, en
foinc to bed, I take about a teaspoon fu I,
never feel the effects of tha supper eat
en. OVID it. SPARES,
Ex-Mayor Meeom, Ua.
fSTONLY OKN-UUfE-tSl
Has our Z stamp oa front of wrapper.
J. a mm t co sole proprietors,
PRICK II.
PHILADELPHIA, PA
GO EAST VIA
OREGON SHORT LINE.
11 to WO miles the shortest aad 13 to .
48 hours
TEE QUICKEST ROUTE TO THE EiST.
This BODUiar Una oa account of its aontbaiat
location, is especially preferable far travel dar
ing the winter months. It also affords aa oppor
tunity to visit Salt Lake City, and Denver with
out extra eharce, and gives a choice of route
via. council suuos. omaae, ac Joseph, Leaven
worth or Kansas City. Full particulars regard
ing routea and fares furnished oa application.
, ISAAC A. MAXXINQ,
Local Passenger Art.
Office at STABSKAa ofAce, 264 Commercial
street, Salem, Oregon. dw
F
ABM AKD IMPLEMENTS FOR 8ALE 45S
acres of land situated IV miles from Sa
lem, the capital of Oregon; 13W seres epaa land:
10 seres seeded ia clever and timothy; good
dwelling, a barns, stok, water tbe year round ;
1 ssilee road front: 3 good, wagons, 1 dcubla
and 1 single carriage, 2 mares and eows, a
a umber of bora ; also farm utensils, household
and kitchen farnltare, etc. Terms, one-half
cash, balance oa one or two year time to suit '
tbe purchaser. Tba above will bo sold very
low, aad possession given immediately.
9-&4W J. A. HCKFlfAlf.
FRSALEORTRADE.-200 ACRES OF LAUD
Smiles south of Balem. Will cell or ex
change for city property, will give plenty of
time on part- ii desired. Address or can on
i Paul Obarhcim, Saietn, Oregon. S-tO-et
Faultless Family Medicine
ana meat Irom tuoercuiea cauie.
"Rot!" at an actor.