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About The Oregon statesman. (Salem, Or.) 1884-1892 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 7, 1887)
1HE OKE3QN 8TATE8MAN: FRIDAY - JANUARY 7. 1887. 3- r 1 SMILE PROYOCATIOSS. A Haverville paper talks about iu first families. Ia a shoe town one would ex pect to bear about the last families, in stead. Lowell Citizen. "Dear, dear, how fashions d- alter, to be sure," remarked old Mrs. I'eachblos Bora. ' I e that steerage rates are cut lower." New York Morning Journal. "Pa, do 'pro' and 'con' mean opposite things?" "Yes, son." Is that the rea son why they giealc of 'proirret' and 'Congress:' " "Y-nYea, son." Chica go News. It is said that a Michigan woman wears the same bonnet that (the wore thirty-five years ao. She is the wife of a farmer, and not an editor, an mi lit at first lie aappoced. New Haven News. Women who have a habit of turning round in the street to inxpect other wo men's dresses will learn wjth envy that a fch has been found which has eyes' in the ba k of its head. New Haven News. It is proposed to the government to an nounce the coming of storms by firing cannon. The idea seerns commendable. Kach signal cannon should be loaded with a -weather prophet. Philadelphia News. A scientific writer tells how water can be boiled in a sheet of writing parw-r. We don't doubt it. We have known a man to write a few lines on a sheet of writing paper that kept him in hot water fur three years. Kurdette. "Seen lirown's imported suitings?" "P-et ver life." "Stunning, ain't thev'." "Immense!" "111 tell you what it is; Brown's a regular wheelhorse in his pro fession." "Yes; I've not iced that he is a heavy charger." I)etroit Mercury. iHjb in erected a danger signal. " You are fixing it," I suppon;, remarked Thomson, "so that he who runs ruav read." "On the contrary," replied Ikb son, "I am fixing it no that he who reads may run." Pittsburg Iipatch. Shoe dealer (to partner; "That new lot of French slippers is going verv slow ly. Hadn't we U-tter mark 'em fown?" Partner "Yes; mark the fives down to threes, the four to twos." This change was made, and in a day or two the stock was exhausted. Pu k. "What would the world do without alcohol ?" a?-ked an exchange. It would U' such a soUt old world that it would find no use for its police stations and almshouses. This may not U; the riglit answer, but it is the best we tan tliink of at present. Norrixtown Herald. While a man in Clinton, Pa., was pre paring to go to l ed he was struck by a thunderbolt and hid all the clothing stripped irom his lly. leaving him un harmed Kxeliaii''e. While tlie light ning was alnjut it, it should have put on hi4 nightshirt and said his prayers for him. Christmas Puck. "Seakinir of the intelligence of dogs," otrfWTved ZcUslee Jones, "1 have one which can detect counterfeit monev." "Oh, now you're joking," replied Khen c.er Smith ; "No, I am not. If he gets on a bad st ent he immediately abandons it and looks fi.r a good one. Pittsburg Chronicle. A little friend of ours was recently taken to the barhcr's shop to have his hair cut for the first time. As the harU r cut anil dipped the little fellow seemel to le-ome cinsiderahly alarmed, for he suddenly said, in anxious tones. "You'll leave enough to grow, won't you, mister?" Harper's Bazar. Tlie Chicago anarchists have adopted a new line of defense in vAnt they get a new trial. They will claim that no bomb was thrown at all ; that it was only a wo man who ran through the crowd with an umbrella in one hand and a market basket in the other. The only weak Ioint in. this defense is that the carnage was t' slight. Purdette. Mistress "P.ridget, why on earth are you standing there whistling in that man ner?" P.ridget "Faith, an' didn't ve tell me that whin that tin thmg in the wall commenced to whistle that I was to answer it? And here I've l--n shtand ing fr the hist fifteen minnits answering the ould thing wid all me inoight. and it don't seem to recognize me at all, at all." Harper's Ua.ir. Pst on miss "You don't mean to say you have given the Kev. Ir. Furitan a call?" hnaha man "Ind.-ed we have, and he is to leave lioston next month." "Oh all ers4in.s! Why, he is tli" most unpopular preacher in Huston." "He is? Why, what's the matter with him?" "Oh! he's s ho!essIy. .Ie-plv. darklv, lenightedly ortho.lox," .Omaha World. "My brother," earnestly spake the "ol clergyman to the dying financier, "do you t'eel perfectly safe and happy?" "I do." replitnl the living man faintly. "I do." "You are on the river's bank." said the clergyman solemnly, "and " "Yes," interrupted the dying mm. "I know it. And that's Canada on the other sile, isn't it?" Pittsburg lis patch. A burglai who was doing a neat job on a safe was horrified, on looking up, to see a man standing quietly beside him. He was about to retire, when the gentle man said: "(Jo ahead. I am interested in that job." "Why?" asked the as tonished burglar. "Pecatise I have for gotten the combination, ami no living lerson knew it but myself. If you can get that sale ojsui I'll make it worth your while." Burlington Fnv IVess. The Czar "Brother" Jonathan, do you know anything alut the Standard Oil Company?" Brother Jonathan "I should say I did. Why?" "They have t-een buying land and wells over here." "They have? Have they made you an offer for vour throne vet?" "Oh no." "Havn't thev hinted that you could make money by selling out now, and retiring to private 'life instead of waiting until they squeeze you out?" "It's some other company then." Omaha World. I Ik Wanted, too Mitch. A Washing ton correspondent says that there was a hitch in the promised marriage between Miss Mitchell, the daughter of the Oregon senator, and the I hie de Rochefoucauld, who met her in Paris and was deelr smitten by her charms. It seems that the duke demanded a larger settlement upon the bride than the senator could afford to give, and therefore the engage ment was broken. Rochefoucauld is French for Kern hlie rifbecoold. CONNECTICUT SISTERS OF '76. John Quincy Adams and John Han cock, "the signer,'' married two sisters, the daughters of a noted Methodist divine in Connecticut. John Quincy was a favorite with the old people, and Mary's cuoice was approved oy them, .so, when the banns were published, the parent said : "Mary, if yoa will furnish the text I will preach you a wedding sermon." She was equal to the task, and gave the text: "Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken from her." Needless to say that justice was done to the occasion and the text. Not so with Margaret, who in the meanwhile was re- ceiving the attentions of her John in a very inexpensive wav, as far aa her par ents were concerned, for it is said that "he never crossed his legs under their festive board." 8o, when the banns were isiblished she said to her father : "Father, you preached a wedding sermon for Mary ; cannot you preach one for me V He at first demurred, but at last consent ed and called for the text, when Margar et, who was equal to the occasion, said : "And John came, neither eating nor drinking, and yet ye say he hath a devil." From an Exchange. ' AFRAID HE WAS LIED OX. The other day Col. Billings, meeting old Sandy, said : "Look here, old man, can't you fL.d work to do?" "Oh, yas, sab, plenty o' it." "Then why don't you do it?" "Ioes do it, sah." "Why don't you buy some wood?" "Ihjes buy wood, sail." "Why, then, do you steal my wood?" "Steal yer wood! Why, sahl I never stole er stick er wood fnim yer in my life. Look heah. Colonel, I'se er member in good standin' o' de church, an yer's laying yersclf mighty liable when yer come Yuzin' me er stealin' uv yer wood. Yer oughtener' spicion er ole pusson like I is." "I don't suspect vou, Sandy. I know that you are the thief for I saw you steal ing my wood." "Saw me, did yer? Oh. wall, if yer saw me it's iril right. Didn't know but some o' dese heah mean niggers had couie er roun' er telling lies on me." From the Arkansaw Traveler. A UMi FI LL OF tiUEKNBACKS. People who saw a cab with two men and a carpet bag inside dash from Ffth and Library streets to the Ninth and On-en stni ts depot the other rfternoon little thought w hat a big bundle of green backs was within the bag. The "tight" money market in New York made Iwrmwing of money in that city impracticable. The money rate in this city was but little ruftled, and it oc curred to Pick Brothers A Co., that it would e a great idea not to transfer by wire or letter, but to carry over the actual cash. The New York bank was ordered to let out the money and to keep open un til the Philadelphia capital it was said that ten such piles would make a million arrived, and a memrwr of the firm with an assistant and a revolver made tlie journey. Frequent telegrams kept the house in good courage, and at 4 :15 o'clock word came, "We got there all the same." Philadelphia Press. THE P.l'KfiLAK WST HIS HOOTS. We wish to return our sincere thanks to the enterprising but misguided burg lar who broke into our residence night U-fore last, under the impression he was era king the crib of the druggist who lives next door. He entered at the win dow ami carefully removed his boots, set ting them down on the floor. To this circumstance, and to the fact that we saw him come in, we are indebted for the first good pair of hoots we have had in ten years. While he was ransacking the house we quietly slipd out of )ed and exchanged our old boots for his, and then went back to and fell asleep. How long lie was jn the house we do not know, but the presumption is that when he went away he took the old loots. They have leen missing ever since, and there was nothing else to take. From an l laho Paper. T K A N S V K K K I X i H YSTE K I A . The chief French snrg-ons and medical professors have for soaie time In-en care fully studying the effects of mesmerism on the female patients of the Saljetriere Hospital, and M. Bahinski, a clinical surgeon of the establishment, has just effected a series of ex erimeiits the re sults of which would seem to open a new future for inedical science. M. Bahinski tried to prove that certain hysterical symptoms could Ik? transferred by the aid of the magnet from one patient to an other. He took two subjects, one a dumb woman ailheted with hysteria and the other a female who was in a state of hypnotic trance. A screen was placed letween the two and the hysterical wo man was then put under the inrlum-e of a strong magnet. After a few moments she was rendered dumb, while sinvch was suddenly restonsl to the other. M. Calr inski also effected temporary cures of laralysis i:i the same manner. Luckily for his healthier patients, however, their borrowed pains and symptoms did not last long, anil they were saved from a calamity almost similar to that which lie fell lb. Jekyl when lie swallowed too much salts and irrevocably became Mister Hyde. Pans letter to Ijndon Tele graph. HE WAS A BOSTON" BOY. It was a South Boston school boy whose bal behavior had led the master to de part from his accustomed rule and resort to a flogging. Tlie next day the loy "brought a n te." The master read it as follows: "Licking don't do this ly no good talk to him." Peculiarities about the epistle led to inquiries. It turned out to have been written by the boy. From the P-oston Traveler. A LOAD TO BE LOOKED AFTER. Probably nothing is looked upon with more delight and suspicion than a load of jngs in a prohibition town unless it be . two loads of jugs. From the Detroit ' Tribune. I THE LITTLE PEOPLE. Oar small boy four next month striking a distressing attitude, with bis hand on his abdomen, thus explains to papa what were his sensations when mamma found it necessary to rebuke him very sharply: "It made me feel badly come all up fra my tummic!" From Babyhood. " A Qt'ESTIOX OF PEDIGREE. Utile Mabel, five years old, is not so young but that she has picked op some knowledge of the ways of the world. She said to her mother the other day, after a fit of deep musing: ay-, mamma, who was papa before he married us, any way? "Who was papa? Why, he was the same man that he is now." "Yes; but what was lie to vou? Was he just a man that you mashed"?" From the Bos ton uecord. AS INNOCENT MEDIl'M OF REVENGE. "Why, my dear Mrs. de Simpson ! I'm so delighted to see you, And this is little Johnny. What a charming boy ! Here, Johnny, are some chocolate creams." Mrs. de Perkins gives the little boy a lot of soft candy, knowing that he will smear it on his mamma's cream-colored satin dress, bids mamma good-day af fectionately, and passes on. Mrs. de Perkin's husband is onlv the floor-walker at S -.sot-cash Sc Co.'s dry-goods palace, wtiiie Mrs. ae Simpson s husband is a junior partner. O, woman . woman ! b rom tlie Chica go Tribune. didn't recognize the agency. A little four-j ear-old chubby-faced boy Bat clenching his fingers around a silver dollar at the Sunday-school service at the Methodist Episcopal church, in Tyrone, Pa., on Sunday, and later reluctantly sur rendered it to a lady who collected the contributions to the church fund, saying afterward: "1 tfm.l t want to give it to Mrs. B ; I wanted to give it to the Lord." From an Exchange. HE HAS HIS FATHER'S WIT. Master Stuart Kobson Crane, the five-year-old son of the jopular comedian, is evidently a precocious youth. At a mat inee in St I -on is last week he was very much interested in the appearance of a fashionably dressed beau who lolled lazily into the theatre and meandered with a mincing goose-tread dow n the aisle of the parquet. "Oh, mamma look see quick ! What is dat?" eagerly asked Master Crane, ioking violently at his mother and mint ing the other chubby hand at the nobby stranger. Mrs. Crane answered : "What's that? Why, that's a dude, my dear." A dude! N fiat s a dude, mamma? Who made a dude, mamma?" inquired the child, his big blue eyes wide open ami his little mouth agaie. " W hv, iod, of course lod made the dude. Hobby," said Mrs. Crane, quietly. 1 he little fellow remained silent a few moments. looking intently all the while at the dude. Then he turned to his mother and said in a confidential tone: Say, mamma, Dod likes to have fun sometimes, doesn't he. From the Chicago News. AN EYE TO COMUIN TIOSS. roingout in the car the other day I saw a bright little miss of my acquaint ance with a library book in her daintily gloved hand, and, noticing the title was that of a rather almtrusc subject, I said : liy, my dear, you select very deep literature for your reading; I had no idea you were so studious." She answered: "O, is it? Well, I did not know what to get, anl so took this, as the cover rom pared so Iwautifull v with my hat. IHd you ever see a more erfect match?" r rom the Springfield- Homestead. CHEMAWA ITEMS. Mr. M. A. Thomas, the U. S. Indian Inspector, has been making a thorough examination, and expresses himself well satisfied with the order and management. Philip Starr, a Snake Indian, from Klamath rest-rvat ion. aired l.'J vears. hav ing died of consumption, Elder Webb conducted a funeral service, the children behaving with the utmost decorum, and paying excellent attention. Mr. H. H. Booth, from Memphis, Tennessee, the newly apointed clerk. lias leen here two weeks and makes a favorable impression as a gentleman and business man. He cxju-cts his family shortly. For supplying lumler for a thousand loliar barn and fencing: The bid of Iliirst t'o. teing informal was not con sidered ; K. A. CroHsen.fll -"s I per thou sand for rough lumber, and fill for iircsseu. The following bids were received for buildings to le erected: laundry, bath house, brick building for oven, "and the completion of the suerintendent's office and disjiensatorv : Pol lev, Churchill fc Co., $i.(i:V; J.'F. T. "Beattv. f,14." omitting brick building : Frank B. South wick. .V72; C. A. Roberts, .";. Tlie last named, covering all the build ings enipraced in the advertisement, was the lowest and best bid, and was accept ed. A POET'S PRECOCIOUS OFFSPRING. Juanita Miller, the six-year old daugh ter of Joaquin Miller, the Jtt, is an un usually interesting little maiden, gifted by nature w ith a truly remarkable memo ry. She can rejeat, without changing or misplacing a single word, everv line which her father has ever written. This is not done in parrot fashion, as would be the case with im.'-t children. Her declamation is clear, comprehensive and charming in every resjiect. She has a quaint manner and an odd way of making observations upon j-pople and things which evinces thought far beyond her years. As a matter ot course, site is the special pride and admiration of her father, who never tires of descanting upon her perfections and achievements. Juanita and her mother are passing the winter with Joaquin Miller at his log cabin, be vond the Boundary and Sixteenth street, Washington. From the Pittsburg HLs patch. Croup, whooping eouta soil broncfattfi Im mrdiaely relieved br ShUob Care. Sold by Tte Fort Droit Co. i A DRUG CLERK'S AWFUL AGUXY. "I had a strange experience the other night," said the clerk in a Randolph drag store yesterday. "I was sitting beside the stove in a sort of doze when the nirht- bell jingled violently. The instant opened the door a boy not yet in his teens Mumoiea into trie store with a prescrip tion in his hand. It had been written by a prominent physician living on Wash ington boulevard. More asleep than awake, I set about preparing the medi cine a task which consumed fully half an hour. After the boy had departed I returned to mv seat and was just falling into a deep slumber when the thought that I had made a mistake in the prepa ration of the medicine flashed through my mind. I leaped to my feet as scared a man as ever lived. Seizing the pre scription, I read it over and over again, each time becoming more convinced that I hal made a most egregious and per haps fatal error. No aconite had been prescribed, yet my thoughts and the moist plug in the bottle containing the drug told me that the poison was in tlie medicine. I darted out of the store in search of the boy, whose name I did nat know, but he was nowhere to be seen. Returning to the store I paced the floor like a madman. Unpleasant visions flashed before my eyes, and I was about to drop upon the lounge in despair when the bell began to tingle again. I thought my fate had surely come when I started towards the door. Imagine my surprise to find the very same boy crying as though his heart would break, and holding a piece of the broken vial in his hand. "I I fell and broke the. bot" the lad whimpered. "Spilled the medicine I 'gave you?" I gasped, not waiting for the lny to finish his sentence. "Y-e-e-s, sir! I" "Hooray," I veiled, choking the boy off and hugging him to my breast. I may have acted like a baby just then, for i kissed him again and again, and squeez ed him as though he had been a long-lost child. When the astonished lad left the store this, time he clutched the pure, straight stuff, but I wouldn't pass through another hour of such torment for all the drug stores in the city." From the Chicago Herald. BROWN, FULLERTON, & CO. Dealers in Hardware, Stoves, Tin ware, Farm Machinery, etc. Tlie writer in p;issmg the well-know hardware nnd agricultural house of Prown, Fnllerton, .V Co. recently, accost ed one of the senior members of the firm as follows: "Why is it that so many remarks are made daily by the public in reference to the astonishing gTowth of your business dnring the year lXf?" Oh, Hint is nothing" resjxmded the memlierof the firm; "come with me" taking the inquisitor through their large businsa bouse, oiuting out, hb the different departments were passed through, items of interest. He then con tinned: "We have, during the last year, lxiught our entire stock from large east ern jobbers, and in instances where we coulil, from the manufacturers themselves thus giving our customers lenefits in the way of reasonable prices that they would not have received otherwise. With many increased facilities in the wsy of new lines of goods' for the new yearlKH7) we have confidence it will continue to grow even larger than it has in the past yewr." This firm constantly employs six men in its immense establishment, and has one of the largest business honses in the citv. Their place of business is iSfi, 'J34, and 1EJJ Commercial street, where they constantly keep on hand a full stock of hardware, stoves, tinware, farm machin ery, vehicles, binder twine, belting, oils, and supplier. Their stock of shelf goods is verv complete, embracing eyer) thing in shelf hardware. MUX AMI WOMKN IX LUE S I'lIIME Who rite unfrehed. (eel languid through the dny, have liltle pM-tite, and whoe tee ex hibit a Kfil'.ow tint, are on the hnrt route to tne erave. I'nle they ran effen a radical change in their condition ther will nt reach old aire. Im igorat'on id tne only menrn nf their phytic ai alvatin. l'on Hunteuer Stoma-h Hitler they ran rely to ftirni-h thera with the Maniina whirh In a prerequisite ot health. an U remote that .rime cau.e f continue. 1 debility. Indigna tion and non aimilatmn of the foo. We c1b thee rausen a one. ince they are "oint function of one oriran. the utnach. fhieMy. Built un and rehabilitated with thi nulx-rb re Morative of vigoa, tiie n)tem may bid defiance to malaria, rheumatism, bladder and kidney di'M-a-'es. and other maladies proue to attack the enfeebled. The Hitters Dot only affords a safe guard against disease of a virulent type, but effects a prompt reform in the condition of a drow y or disordered liver and Irregular bow els. I X I'LA M AT I ON OK IN K KIOXKYS. Hon. Edward A. Moore. Member of Assembly from Kichmond county. New York, writes: "Some two years aeo I was takeo with inflam mation of the kidueys. The pain was intense I applied as soon as poib an AHeork'a Fortis Piaster over each kidney. W onderful to n? the pain and iutlmuation fieiran toabatv in three hour. In two dxys I was entirely cured. I al ways taie great p eaure in recommending All cook s Piasters: Ihey are certain y the lst ex ternal remedy known. ! used them as chet protftors. Bud fuuud them most efficient. " M KII .A I TKVTIMONY. 100 Wft 4Wh pTr.r.r.T. Nfw Y.irk, JI me '.. 1A Ilavius; in the course of a large practice ex tensively ned Allns'k's i'oroii plasters in the nous diseases and conditions of the lune and pieura. and always with success. I recom mend their use in the mot ai:grava;ingdiea.e. Summer I atarrh. or liny Fever: strips of Plas ter applied over the throat and chet will afford ereat relief from the choking ticklinir In the throat, wheezinc, nhortne- of breath, and paio in the chet. K. Mi -Coion K. M I). AN IXFAILIXfi KKMIDV. Brandreth'a pilla cure dyspepsia. or indiges tion, headache, pain in the houli4er. couirhs. tightueasof the cnet. 4izzine, our tomach, bad taie in the mouth, bilious at:ark. palpita tion of the heart, inflammation of the lungs, fain in the region of the kidaeya. and a hun dred other painful symptoms are the offp"1ng of dyspepsia. One or two Piila every night for a week are sufficient. IIIILDKKX Often need some safe cathartic and tonic to avert approaching ickoes,or to relieve colic, headache, sick stomach, tadigestion, dysentery and the compiaints incident to childhood. I-et the children lake Simons Li ver Regulator and keep well. It is purely vegetable, not nplea. aut to the taste and afe to take alone or to con nection with other medicine. "Simmons I.lver Regulator has done me more good than all the physic 1 ever tmk. I suffered from indigestion lor the last Are year, at lat I wan induced to try t'.ie Kegu.ator by Ir Tno. Mason, and it cured me. I am a painter by trade and nffeed witu lead colir; since taking lha Regulator I d not suffer at all. A. V. Tairoo, Master Painter, Macon, Oa" Tar all forma of nasal catarrh where there is dryoeaa of the air paaaaga with what U com monly called "tuSiDC up." eapecially when going to bed. Ely's Cream Balm rives perfect and Immediate relief. Iu benefit u me baa keen pricele.--A. li. Cbaae. M. p., Millwood. Kansas I A LOT OP BOSH Sensational Reports which hare Ap peared ia Exchanges regard ing: the Bridge. Within the past week there have ap peared, in exchanges of the Statesman, articles upon the " bad engineering" in the construction of the Salem bridge. One of the articles mentioned was to the effect that the bridge was too low for river boats to pass tinder, when the river was at all high. Among these boats was he Willamette Chief, which came down tlie river last Monday, and, on account of the height of the river and the short dis tance of the bridge (rom the surface of the water, it was unable to pass down on the morning following. The river was then 15.9 feet above low-water mark. It appears that the captain of the Chief changed his mind about the lowness of the bridge, for he went down the river on Thursday, when the water-gauge read 15-3 feet, and had several feet to ppare. Another statement is that the Bentley was stopped in her passage up the river, bjr the bridge. The) Bentiey has never oeen at rvuem, at anv time, high or low water, when she could not have gone un der lit bridge and had, at the least cal culation, ten feet to Spare, clear of every tning. The, Salem bridge has nearly sixtv- seven leet between it and low water. There is not a boat that runs upon the upper Willamette whoee highest fixed pieces are over thirty-eight feet above the water. . By placing hinges on the smoke stack, as is done on all Eastern-river boats, and lowering the stack when the l , , . sa uruige is approacneu, any ooai can pass under the bridge when the river is as high as twenty-nine feet above low water mark. When the water is that high, the banks are overflowed and a steamboat can pass around tlie end of tlie bridge. However, boats never run at that stage, as the locks at Oregon City will have closek np when the river here is eighteen feet above low water. No boats run on the upper river when the water ia twenty feet high and then as the highest smoke stack on the river is certainly not over forty-six feet above the water line, even on those rare occasions it is easy to keep unuer me Dnage. 1 Let it be remembered that the very liest of engineering talent obtainable on the Pacific coast was engaged to submit plans for and sujsprvise the construction of the bridge, and there was every reason why a high bridge should lie given the preference over a draw bridge. It might to be evident to everv fair- minded ierson that the statements aiKjiit the difficulty tlie Chief or any oth er Isoat has had, or may have, in keep- clear of tin-, bridge, are. to put it niildlv. mistakes. ADVICI TO MOTH ESS. Are ron tiaturbed at night and broken of ytrnr rest by a tick child auffarinf and crying with pain of cutting teeth? If ao, and atone and get a bottle of the Wltulow'a Soothing Byrup for ChiMrtn'a Teething. Ito ralua la IncaieuUb a It will rellara tha poor little anffaror Immedi ately. Depend upon It, mothers, tbara la no mistake about It It curat dlaantarr and diarr hoea, regulate tha stomach and bowela, eurea wind colla, aofttM tha wma,radaoM Incarna tion, and gives ton and energy tp the whole system. Mra. Wlnalow'e Soothing Syrup for Children' Teething ia pleaaant to the tacte, and la the prescription of one of the oldert and beat female nana and physicians In the United htatea, and la tot aaie by all dmggUts Urouao the World, frloe 25 eonta a bottle, (I KE FOR riLKS. Plies are frequently preceded by a tense of weight in the back, loins and lower Dart ef the aodotnen. causing the patient to suppose be hai some affection of the kidneys or neighboring organ. At times symptoms of Indigestion are present, flatulency, nneaalneas of the stomach, etc. A moisture, like perspiration, producing a very disagreeable itching, after retting warm. Is rVimmon attendant Blled. bleeding and Itching piles yield at once to the application, of Ir. Konsanko's File Remedy, which act direct ly upon the parts effected, absorbing the tumors, allaying the intense Itching. and effecting a per manent cure. Price b0 cent. Address, the br. Hosanko Medicine Co.. Pluna. O. Sold br lieo. E. Ood. HOW TO SIXI RK HEALTH. Scoviirs Sarsspaiilla and Htllllneia or Blood and Liver Syrup will re-tore perfect health to the physical organixstloti. It Is. Indeed, a strengthening syrup, pleasant to take, and has often proven Itself to te the best blood purifier ever discovered, effectually curing scrofula. syphilitic disorders, weakness of the kidneys. erysipelas, malaria, all nervous disorders and debility, bilious complaints, and all disease indicating an Impure condition of the blood, liver, kidneys, stomach, etc. It corrects Indi gestion, especially when the complaint Is of an exhaustive nature, having a tendency to lessen the vigor of the brain and nervous system. IS YOVKIILOOI) ITKEf For impure blood the est medicine known, COVILL'S SAKSAPAKILLA. or KLOOPA.NI) LIVEK SYRt'P, may he implicitly relied on when everything else fail-. Take itinthe spring time. epecially for the impure secretions of the Mssod incident to that season of the yes.r: ana lane it at ail times lor Lancer, scrofula. .iver Complaints. Weakness, Boils, Tumors. swellings, skin diseases. Malaria, and the thou sand ills that come from impure blood. To en sure a cheerful opposition take this well known medicine, which will remove the prime rsu-e. and restore the iniud t ita natural e'jui- II lI 1 Hill. N EHVOl'S DKKI LITATKU MEJf. You are allowed a free trial of thirty day a of theu-e of Ir. Iye's Ce ebrated Voltaic Belt witn electric suspensory appliance, for the peedy relief and permanent cure of ner vous debility, loss of vitality and manhood, and all kindred troubles. Also, for many other diseases. Complete restoration to health, vigor ami mannooi guarantee. o risk is lncurren Illutra?ed pamphlet, with full information, term-, etc., mailed free by addressing Voltaic ceil. ., -Marsnaji. asicmgan. Cs'' '"d examine those fine pearl-handled pssrlrt knlreiat D. W. Matthews at Co. 's drug store, a Cue line of ladies' and gents' knive of the iiest quality. tf A Home at a Bargain ! -A rare chance to secure a- GOOD FAEM, WO acres of land situated seven miles from the railroad at Yoocaila, Douglas county: T'O acres level and la cultivation ; unlimited range for stock: good bouses, barns, sheds, orchards, well watered and Irrigated and the moat health ful locality on the eoavac will be sold, with all stork. Bnachlneiy.ini plemeau, everything for t.0X A clear title and easy terms. Reason of sell ing, to divide the property among widow and heirs. Immediate possession given. Any one desiring such a place will do well to address or call upon a. J. Hendricks, guardian, at tbe SraTCaaan office, Saiem. Oregon. LIEBIG DiipeaaSr7 Ceodaeted by quail led pbyaV clans and aufn regular fraqnatea. rar Tbe ouht spicia.1 1ST ia the United States, whoss) U re-tone experience, pert eat method and pure saadiclna, la sure apeedy end permaaea crags of all Private, Chroaia, and Nervous DUeasaa. Affeev ttooa ef tbe Blood. Skin, KlV tteya, LJ adder. Eruptions, Cs eera. Old So rea, ti cujxe af the GLa rss, Sore M outh. Throat and Bone Pains, permanently cured and eradicated from the) system ron urm. NERVOUSiJSSSS seminal loaaee. sexual decay, mental and physical weak nana, failing memory, weak eyas, stunted development, inipedt meata to marriage, etc, trowe, excesses ef youthful follies, esr any causa, speedily, aalely e4 privately cured. Tsaag. Middles avast OU Wesi and all who need dicai aaru. and erper amma .IimmIjI fc.n.nllth.nl n Phv aid ftve at race. Uia opinion eoeta tMUilng and -tag? sava fntnra nslscrv and ahama. W ben lnc ventent to visit the etty for treatment, medlcnee can be sent anywhere by expreea rati raoai oassavartOK. It la self-evident that a physictaa who gtvee his whole attention to a elaae of dia eases attains greater en la, and physician throughout the country, knowing this, freoneaes ly recommend auncutt cases wusa-vssririv tALisr, by whom every known good remedy need. The Doctor's Age and Kxperleooa saalus bis opinion of supreme Importance. Those who call see ao one bat tbe Doe lor. Consultations free, and eacredlT cowfs. uiirTAL. Caeee which have failed (a obUlnln, relief elsewhere especially solicited. Female dUeasee eooceasfoUy treated. The DoeSoe srtU agree to forfeit $1000 for a ease enaaxtakaat, not eured. Call or writ. Hours: Dally, trees I a. m. to t p. m., to t evenlaga: Suadaya, ! to 1 only. Send for the 8iTairr Ocisa tw afiiLTn: sxxt raaa. Addreea as ebooe. CgC" The services of tbe celebrated old Oes tuanPbysician, DB. a G1RARC, from 8trene "burr, hsve been secured at tbe LIXBIO DlaV PKNSARY. His fame aa a specialist for diseases) Of men is universally known, and hnndredsan dally availing themselves of the opportunity ed free consultation, personally or by levlst, la ail langutcea. XB. UEBIOt tTenderfal Osrmaa Inrljroratar E-ermanently prevents all TJnaatnral Loasaa from the system, tones tbe nerves, strengthen the muscles, checks the waste, in vigor tee tha whole system, and restore! the afflicted to Uasith And Happiness. 0 The reason so many cannot get cured et Seminal Weakness, Loss of Manhood, eta., la owing to a jomplication. called PKOdTATO-U KHEA with H TJJLKAKTH ESI A, which require peculiar treatment. Pr. Llegff ' Invlgorator I the only posiUre cure for K08TATOKEHKA, with peculiar Special Tree im eat, used at tha LUCBlG DISPEN8AKY. VARICOCKLTX Or wormy veins of the scrotum. Often the an iu spec ted cause of lost manhood, debility, atev I'rlrss of Invlgormtor, $. Case of sla tlea 1 10. fient to any address, covered seeurl from observation. Most powerful electric belts free to patients. To Paoyg yaa Woaoaaroi, Powna or tbi UsV V1GOBATOR, A $9 Bottle Olrea or Sent Wee. Consultation free and privata. Call oa r address UK BIO DISPKKRART, eoo Geary sC, Ban Fraadsea. Private Kntranc. 06 Masoa street, four bloeke op Geary street from Kearny. Mala an trance It roogh DUpeasary Drug 8 tor fall Electric Apcliaaces art seat ee 30 Dsts" Triai. TO MEN ONLY, YOUMQ Ct OLD, TTTHO are swsTaetaat frw V Lost Vrraury, Lacs or Waarvn roacs an Vsaoa, Wasnwe Wats ssassa, and all tesss esssasse of a Paasoeai. Vsrvas raasUUaa frnaa Aavaas and Oman Cacama. Sjisiily raltaf mad llili wm rattoa est Uaai-rw, v skis mad BLaBoos osaaasma. Tea Sisnils-Jl otasoswry ( Us HlmwinlS Csasary. mtm tut lilaatratssl fuapaM traaw Adaress YltTAH HIT CO., nU.UAtl, Mitt. Catarrh -ELY'S Cream Bainr Gives relief at once and cures COM) in HEAD, CATAP.kH. iiAYFi:vi:it. Not a liquid, snuff or powder. Free from Injurious drugs and oflensive odors. HAY-FEVER A particle Is applied into each nostril and is agreeable. Price 50 cents at druggists: by mall registered, W cenU: circulars free. Sly Bros., druggists. Owego, K. Y. HULIUiyilN Cartf TemaltCcajlaliiU. AwmtXlflatf ica4. EST S9L0 ST ILL Caasm 0 INTEREST to LIEU Xanly TlKor, Weakness or Los of Jfemory per manrtiuy rostored by the use of sa etitirtJy new refrs-dy. Tate) Verba ftsnta from fstssin. fpan ieh Trorarat never fail. Onrillisstrated.Xtpare bousj and te-wimooials, (sent sealed). Kvery snaa should rsssd U. VU Utta KF THtKHEK Ctk, f-- bV Pakrai mac, Aew kee-hv. rreS OST LEJi: CO., Contrwtor foi '.CHINESE LAB0J?.f ar "in mc nrrntracig tor cutting wooa, or any other kind f lalor. JJegt door to atcin er A Blosser's tin Ure. Address, Lee Jul sriSkS. SV awairan W tta.asan -s A . a aav pr ps3. Blood Elixir 1 bo otdr v'v'v' Blood Bemody gvmnn td. It ! a poaHIre cure for Ulcira, Erap tiooa or SypLUitlc PoiaooiBg. ItrrlStL wboto STstetn, mud baniabe all Elissinsaid mad Keoralgio paina. Te fjanntoa tt. Sold by Geo. E. Good, dmjiat. , DIL O Private) n to-AND-ATfSl Aheads