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WIT AND HUMOR-
A ma if never uses his thumb nail
for
a screw-driver but once.
One old " hat from America makes a
New Zealander a whole suit of clothes.
It must bo awful easy for a wooden
headed man to get his hair shingled.
The old-line Whig is as quiet and
scarce as though he were a late bank
president.
Wish we could have seen Kate Field's
mouth when she was singing
the telephone.
through
The newspaper man writes for his
victuals, while the telegraph operator
telegraphs for his.
A great many people make a mistake,
when they cut a dog's tail, in throwing
away the wrong end.
If the man who writes anonymous let
ters has never stolen sheep, it is probab
ly the fault of the sleep.
Amoxg the items'in a plumber's bill
are: To searching gas leakage, 50 cents;
to having found it, 1.
A hough insulted a Quaker down in
York, the other day, and got his eye
dressed in drab. "Didn't know he was
loaded."
The mercenary person of the Oil City
. Derrick threatens to sue Queen Victoria
for breach of promise if she marries
Disraeli.
Ex-Qceen Isabella, is a prood deal
such a woman as Susan B. Anthony, ex
cept that she kicks in door panels
when she gets mad.
Notwithstanding the fact that the
good die young, you occasionally run
across the tracic of a gray-headed ol
saint of the editorial persuasion.
It is at the Bal de I'Opora. Clemen
tine lingers behind the curtains of her
dressing-room. Her companion jn-ows
impatient.
"Well, are you coming?"
"My costume has not arrived."
"Nevermind! How trivial ! It's no
cold."
"Don't prevaricate, sir," thundered
one of our trial justices to a witness be
fore him, recently, who was trying to
evade some important question. "Can't
it help, Jedge," answered the youth
"Ever seuce that circus mule kicke
out two of my teeth, I is compelled to
prewaricate right smart.
The French tramp resembles his
American cousin. Met with the response
that there was nothing for him to do, he
answered: "Oh, madame, if you only
Knew how little work would occuy me.
It is now announced that cabbage
cut up fine and seasoned with lime juice
will knock the dyspepsia overboard in
week. Try it, some of you fellows who
are growling about the weather.
T . T t y m .
H.UKATUM in me case oi the signa
ture to the communication on Senator
Conkling on our inside page to-day, for
"A Quiet Ass" read "Equitas." Ty
pographical errors will occur in the
carefully managed paper. Detroit Xews.
England to Russia "What do you
mean, sir?" Russia to England "I
mean just what you do." Turkey to
both "And that's what's grinding me
to powder."
When a boy does something funny,
and you laugh at it, he will invariably
keep doing it twenty or thirty times
more, till you have to knock him down
with something.
An Americn naturalist has discovered
that moths cannot smell. Ex. That
depends entirely on their sex. If they
be-he-moths, they smell terribly, espec
ially after they are dead.
Revivals appear to be just as neces
sary since the abolition of perdition as
they were before. But now, when a
man is urged to "nee from the wrath to
come," what does he run.from ?
Does the armless woman who wields
the pen with her toes write a good hand?
Considering the difficulty of the feat, it
would, perhaps, do to characterize her
penmanship as a fine bold foot.
Japan has no patent laws. When a
Jap invents a square cart-wheel, or
shovel shaped like a hat-box, he reaps
no further reward than a brass medal,
which entitles him to a free bath once
a week.
Did you ever watch the noiseless
' movement of a pretty girl's lips as her
dress is trodden upon, and marvel at
the self-command which enables her to
the situation justice in so quiet a man
ner? Coming back from a little trip to
Havre, a Parisian bewails his misfor
tunes to his railway companion. "One
thing is certain; you won't catch me on
any more of these pleasure excursions,
i;iost my wife and my cane." And thf a
he adds, with tears in his voice, "Anew
cane, too !"
The Emperok of Germany will not
allow Patti to sing in his empire, because
she charges too much for seats. He
says to his subjects: "Py thunder! dat
vas too much vat you pays mit dot girl
Patti dot ten dollars a dicket. You
pays du hundret glasses peer mit dot
. 3 1.
money, ana you sings uem .songs your-
sen, py tnunaer !
Smith, of Smith & Biler, Cincinnati
Pork, has taken to patronizing art. He
called on a .New York painter recentlv.
and commissioned a picture. "Some
thing takin', you know not too quiet
y-i? .1 .
uimme someiuing snowy, any a an
apple tree, all a bloomm', in a field of
yaller wheat, and autumn leaves kindler
ly in round.
A Yicksburg negro fell from the deck of
a steamboat the other day, was sucked ul;
uor a ooal-bargo, came up in time to
catch his breath before he slid under
a raft a mile long, and finally scrambled
ashore down at Warrentown, about seven
nines Deiow, witn uo remark, ".No rue
tryin', ye kaint drown a deep-water Bap
ti' I"
"Hold hard, I am Dick Turpin !
cried a youth of seventeen, one dark
night not long ago. to a gentleman driv
ing along a lonely suburban road in
London, as he sprang from the d.tch and
seized the horse s head. "Glad to see
you, for I am Inspector Rowe, of V
Division," cried the gentleman, as he
sprang from his carriage, knocked down
the astonished highwayman, and hand
cuffed him.
Rising in his pulpit, the old clergy
man - said, with a beaming smile:
"Breathen, I have an important an
nouncement to make to you. Mr.
Kimb " At this moment the stampede
began, and, though he rose at once to
thoj importance of the occasion and
yelled, "is not here P ha was too late
to arrest the flight of several prominent
members, who wero already out in the
oden air nd flying for home like start
led fns.
v
t ,
A CollossaJL Cheat.
THE STOEY OF THE COLORADO STONE MAN.
The true history of the "Colorado
petrified man" that was exhibited re
cently in New York has just been re
vealed. It was made at Elkland, a little
mountain town in northern Pennsylva
nia, by George Hull, the maker of the
Cardin Giant. The facts were made
inownbv E. J. Cox. justice of the peace
at Hornellsville, on the Erie road, who
had a financial interest in the humbug,
but was so badly misused by Hull that
he felt no longer under obligations to
eep the matter secret. All of Coxs
statements have been verified by a re
porter who visited Elkland early this
week. It appears that Hull rented a
farm at Elkland in 1873. and as soon as
ho was established he built an ice house
as he called it. in which he constructed
an arch kiln of brick. Ground stone,
giound bones, clay, plaster, blood, eggs
and other materials were used in form
ing this image, which was then
baked six months in the kiln.
Hull spent much time and several
thousand dollars in experiments. He
said he had perfected himself in the
necessary scientific knowledge, and that
he would net make a ngure again. Hull
unluckily broke his first giant in get
ting it out of the kiln, but succeeded
better in his second venture, and had
the satisfaction, early last year, of see
ing the completion of his laborious
work. Besides Cox, a man named Case
had a financial interest in the giant. A
piece of a man's skull was put in the
head, and bones were inserted in nu
meron3 places in the limbs. "I think,"
say Mr. Cox, "that Hull must have
spent $10,000 or $12,000 in making ex
periments and molding and baking his
giant." Hull had succeeded in making
a stone giant, for the baked composi
tion was just like stone; but it was
a white elephant on his hands.
He had no money to plant it with. This
led him to apply to Barnum, whom he
visited at Bridgeport, Conn. Barnum
said he wasn't going to buy a pig in a
bag, and would send out a man to look
at the invention. Mr. Barnum sent
George Wells, who came quietly and
stopped at the Elkhorn Hotel as a horse
trainer, who desired to look at Hamble
tonian stock in the neighborhood. In
the evening he was taken to the ice
house, where he viewed the wonder,
expressed his astonishment and delight
at Hull's excellent workmanship, and
said he believed that Barnum would
buy. The great showman finally agreed
to pay $2,000 down, to share the expen
ses of planting, and to own a certain
share of the giant. On March 12th of
last year the giant was wrapped with
cotton cloth and put in a stout box, well
bound with iron, which was provided
with a false lining,
And directed to Bridgeport, Conn. At
midnight it was put in a wagon and
taken to Addison, eleven miles distant,
on the Erie road. Hull made a second
trip to Bridgeport, where, on March
2Gth, an agreement was drawn up and
signed by the stockholders ef the Giant
Company, Barnum, Hull, Wells and
Case. The first intention was to bury
the giant in some isolated Connecticut
valley; but Barnum said it would never
do, and Hull, when he returned, said
they had changed their plans and were
going to plant the giant in the Rocky
mountains. He went to New York on
April 8th and joined W. A. Conant,
who was in Barnum's empley. They
shipped the giant to Colorado Springs,
and then reshipped it a3 local freight to
Pueblo. Hull was absent about six
weeks, and on his return said that the
GIANT WAS SUCCESSFULLY PLANTED.
Conant went as a professor in charge
of a party in search of geological speci
mens, ne remained to watch the de
posit. When Hull returned east ho
said the giant was just as ready o dig
up then as it would be in five years,
but that Barnum had gone to Europe
and would not be back till Alienist.
The lifting of the giant was therefore
delayed until Barnum s return, when
he went to Colorado, ostensibly to look
alter his stock larm, and lecture on
temperance. His real object was to be
near at hand when the giant was ex
humed. Hull knew it would never do
to have the Cardiff giant recognized as
having anything to do with the Colora
do giant; so he assumed the name of
George II. Davis, cut his hair short,
i . i
snaved his moustache, put a hump oa
his back, and disguised himself as a
stoop-shoHldered farmer. Cox mean
time was getting anxious to know what
share of the financial harvest he was to
reap, but he could only obtain va
promises from Hull. To make the sale
to Barnum. Hull had been compelled
to conceal from the showman Cox's
knowledge and interest. Cox told Hull
he
WOULD HAVE HI 3 PAY OR HE WOULD TALK
Hull returned to Colorado, but the ne
cessity of keeping Cox quiet soon
brought him back, and he then concil
iated Cox by offering him one twenty
sixth of his own interest. A contract
was drawn up to this effect, and Hull
then returned to Colorado. When he
reached Pueblo he found that Conant.
who, as he expressed it, had been fool
ing with the giant, had broken off the
head and one leg. Hull was enraged
ana a quarrel ensuei. However, the
giant was skillfully mended, and the
discovery was made according to the
plan. Jjarnum appeared on the ground
ana ollered $20,000 for the find, which
KjKjuixm, iciuaBu wiiu scorn, ne peo-
pio uegaii to laugn at JLJarnum, and he
ouered a reward of 10,000 to any man
"uu piue mat me giant was
maae by chisel, 'lhen came the test.
Barnum paid Professor Taylor $100 and
his expenses to go out and
BORE INTO THE GIANT.
Hull had lent an attentive car to the
talk of the scientific men, and was as
1 tonished to learn that a kind of crystal
ought to be found on boring into the
arm of the petrified giant. Hull ob
tained crystal to correspond, and by
sleight of hand exchanged it for tbe
dust of the boriDg implement, which
was first handed to him by Professor
Taylor. When the giant arrived at
Quincy, Illinois, Barnum; who was
then in Washington, ordered it to be
brought to New York, and its subse
quent history is known. Cox has re
ceived no share of the proceeds of the
exhibition, and decided on that account
to make his knowledge public.
The enterprise has been a losing one
all around, and much surprise is ex
pressed here that Barnum should in
a o'.ve himself in this worn-out scheme
of humbuggery. The giant was exhib
ited at the New York aquarium for sev
eral weeks, but it failed to draw. It is
now among the curiosities of the New
York Museum of Anatomy.
1
Masculine Costume.
HABILIMENTS THAT ABE INC0SVESIENT.
UNPHYSIOLOGICAL, AND ABSURD.
Fashion never invented a more un-
physiological garment than that which,
for a quarter of a century, has been the
distinguishing glory of the wiser sex.
Tens of thousands of men suffer from
wearing it agonies quite as acute as any
that women inflict upon themselves by
their suicidal dress; and it is probable
that doctors know the cause or aggrav
ation of their trouble, just as they know
the cause of the ailments of women, and
feel that the patient would endure any
amount of suffering, and death itself,
rather than wear unfashionable gar
ments. We have much talk of the inconven
ience of "pull-backs;" but whoever saw
a man lift anything from the ground
without taking both his hands to draw
up his pantaloons, so as to make room
for the bend of his knees, and feeling
that he risked his suspender buttons,
and accommodated his motions to the
fear of losing them ? Day by day our
most sensible men get into garments
which interfere with motion to ay but
an upright position quite as mueh a the
most ultra pull-back worn by the silli
est butterfly of fashien. They also dis
tort the outliaes of their figure quite as
mucn as ao women, ouppose one er
them were made with lower limbs of
cylindrical form ! How would he feel
about it? How would he use a pair of
legs as thick at the ankle as above the
knee ? Yet this is the shape they all
make themselves. They also put o
long boots and pantaloons over tkem
conducting the gases from the feet up
around the body, and keeping it in a
foul vapor bath. There is no more ap
propriate covering for a man's foot and
leg than a cavalry beet; but it should
be worn with knee breeches and the top
fastened up to the belt. Pantaloons
and long boots were not made to go to
gether; and the pantaloons in any case,
is an awkward contrivance, always flop
ping around the ankle, impeding loco
motion and catching dirt.
Next, consider the physiological prop
erties of a modern shirt, which covers
the chest with a slab of linen as imper
vious to light and air as a marble head
stone! Consider the neck-band, which
must not lack more than the sixteenth
of an inch of strangling the wearer, and
must be as hard and solid as the brass
collars worn by our Saxon fore-fathers
in the British Isles as a token of their
subjection to their lords, jast as their
sons now wear their counterpart in evi
dence of their bondage to their French
dictators. Think of the wristbands,
which more resemble handcuffs than
dress; and the paper collars, with their
poison dre6siags, to which sensible men
have sacrificed their lives.
Look at the buckram pads used to
give the appearance of unnatural
breadth to the shoulders, which pro
ject like the roof of an overshot barn.
and leave the sleeve hanging bv the
eaves, giving a painful impression of
insecurity or invisible brackets to sup
port that particular architectural de
sign ! The amount and quality of buck
ram masonry to keep up this false ap
pearance must be very injurious to the
muscles of the shoulder, while the fold
upon fold of eloth worked into a collar
aids in the debilitating process.
Y hv should a man s shoulders, and
chest, and neck, be shingled any more
than a woman s waist weatherboarded ?
In both cases, that inflexibility is sacri
ficed to a falsa and spurious taste. The
idea suggested is that of a mixture, and
women aro sa l caricatures of humanity.
Women bear their bondage more
easily than men, for one never sees a
woman in public try to relieve the
pressure on her poor, pinched sides;
but one seldom talks ten minutes with
a man without seeing him run his fin
gers round between hi3 pinched neck
and inflexible collar of servitude. The
muscles are always demanding room to
expand and contract always want
space in which to move and this Fash
ion does not allow. The man tries to
relieve the cramped muscle, but must
obey Fashion, and so is fidgety and
shows his discomfort.
Uut the most absurd part of a man s
attire is his head-gear the unaccount
able things he wears on the top of his
head, alike in a prairie storm or an over
heated railroad car. The baldness of
about one-third at forty does not teach
them anything. They go on sacrificing
hair and head to hat; and a shiny, still,
air-tight steeple on his cranium is the
crowning glory of a man's life.
Take it all in all, I cannot see that
women would gain anything by adopt
ing a masculine costume, and think the
brethren may be at ease in their pos
sessions. Even Mary Walker declines
its adoption, and no other woman is
likely to dispute with such a prize.
Mars Sicisshelm in the Chicago Tribune.
Music akd Morals. It seems to be
a generally received opinion that every
girl of average ability should be taught
music, and the piano-forte is the mstru
ment of torture commonly selected
Certainly music has a refreshing and
elevating tendency if it is music in any
sense of the word. But the sounds
elicited from the piano too frequently
fail to come under this head. Happily
the "little music of the drawing-room
often merely serves as a cover for con
versation. But there are occasions
when one is compelled to listen, and
then sensitive ears suffer keenly from
discordant sounds. And yet one has to
listen to these performances as though
they were all that could be desired.
The fair performer, however shy and
awkward at commencing, does not re
quire much pressing to continue. Her
accomplishment is the result of many
dreary mornings of practice, of much
toilsome manipulation of stubborn fin
gers; nay, very possibly, of rapped
knuckles and bitter tears, It would bo
cruelty not to ask her to go on, and Bhe
does go on. Why is it that the per
formance of most amateur pianists is so
inferior ? The truth is, the difficulty of
playing even decently upon the piano
forte is commonly very much under
rated. The mere mechanical obstacles
which have to be overcome before the
fingers can be made the ready interpre
ters of the composer's thought are very
considerable, and demand long and un
sparing devotion to what is, in itself,
repulsive drudgery. Again, to become
a good player, the learner must have a
talent for music a gift which is not
bestowed upon every woman. In a
large number of cases, music lessons
are thrown away, owing to defect in
taste or ear on the part of the pupil.
The education of women in this conn
try is still under bondage to foolish tra
ditions; and one of the first measures
toward its reform would be the reduc
tion of what are called accomplishments
to their legitimate proportions.
COURTESY GF BANCROFT LIBRARY,
UNIVERSITY OF CAT.T?T)T?WTA .
The Stepping: Stone to Health.
The ' acquisition of vital energy is
the stepping stone to health. hen the system
lacks vitality, the various organs flag in their
mty, become chronically irregular, and disease
is eventually instituted. To prevent this un-
happy state ot things, mo utuuiuii
should be built up by the use of that inimitable
tonic, Hostetter's Stomach Bitters which invig
orates the digestive organs, and insures the
thorough conversion of food into blood or a
nourishing quality, from whence every inubi.it.,
nerve ana fiber acquire unwonted supplies oi
vigor, and the wnoie system tincu. v
v x tha tfn
eficial effect. Appetite returns, tne syeiem w
refreshed by healthful slumber, tne neivcn
grow strong ana caim, ine ampouurmj t
ten of chronic indigestion and an uncertain
ototn f i.coid, fiijanwnM. mhI that sallow ap
pearance of the skin peculiar to habitual inva
lids, and persons dencieni in vitai tuwwi
replaced by a more becoming tinge.
Kesretsil
TTow often is heard the expression
'How differently would I have acted, had I my
Kntliinr vainer was ever
..m Voorci nnlv Vrinr MTt;rience. JIad the
dosnondent sufferer from a long settled cough,
fnr m. ,. w )io finds that his life is growing
a curse to him, avoided this exposure ob adopt
ed that course of medication, lie imagines that
it would have resulted different ly. He keeps
on. howsver. in the beaten path of worthless
Tniir;na witiimit liAnatit when he might se
cure Wistab's Balsam of Wild Cbemiv from
on,r Amtrtriut n1 it wnillil at ODC6 SOOthe hlS
iirnni nf hrfRthin ? and eourhinr. and rmov
inirthn pxaanfirft tins cause, restore health to
th tissues of tho throat and lungs. Every
where, and always has this Balsam relieved
ami in n. TY1 A inritv of instances effected cures
where the sick ones have been given over to de
spair and death. 50 cents snd 1 a bottle
Sold by all druggists.
38 38. :tH. 3S.
This is a cough mixture that cures
Coughs, Colds, Throat and Lung diseases. Oive
it a trial and be no longer troubled. It is a sure
cure for all Throat and Lung troubles. Tre
rin wa bv Rhodes & Lewis. San Jose, Cal., and sold
l - - - . T I A . 1- I
hv all Druggists ana cieuer. juut fius-
gist for "S3 Cough Mixture" and take no other,
lMiomnntlsill uuicklr I'ured.
Durang's Rheumatic Keiuedy," the great Inter-
..1 tl'dicine. will uoaitively cure any cao oi rneu-
on th fce of the earth. Price 1 a bottle.
ri hntt a S. Hold DT ail UrUKKUUI. DCUU lut
circular to Helpuenstine & tfenuey, ruggisw.
Washington. P. C. Sold wholesale by H. C. Kirk
Co.. Sacramento, uai.
Knhsoribo for the Commercial Advo
cate, the only paper published devoted to the
Labor Question on the true principal. Trice,
$3 a year. A 82-coluinn weekly journal. It
contains all the latest market reports. Address
Commercial Advocate, 5'Jb Montgomery sireer,
San Francisco, Cal
v-".wist Novelties fast selling lowest prices.
i Catalogue free. Sadler fc Co., 116 I'ostSt.. S. b.
31
-PACK CATALOOUK FREE TO AOKNTS-
W 1KUTKB aL CO., 17 r ew .aiunigouiery ai.,o. r
2Jy poBt paid. Gko. I. Heed & Co., Nassau, N. V
r- v.ohinnoliln Rum no 2 alike, with name l(,c
c Elkqast Cabds.uo two aliKe. with name
10o. post paid. J. B. Husted. luassau. JJ. 1
SE V r NO II ACH I S E ATTACH M KXTS . Nee1 leu
and oil. tiav lare profits and sell quickly. Cat
alogue free. Baulk & Co., Utt Post St., San FrV-o.
IMPURTAXT T KK.t I. KMT AT F. W1S
ers We invite ewners of fiirius and city prop
erty to send us full description of uny property for
sale or exchange, and we will advert Be the same in
our circular free of charge, n (J. UAMrii.u. v
Co., Market Street. San Francisco
- r. qnnov COUNTRY PROPERTY
tj)X7 v1lv I wi!l loan on nurlgage on
tirst-class country property ss follows; In amounts
from J"J,5ni to t7,mt). uny A.S.UUi; In aiiiniiils from
J7.500 to ilo,!)!"). say t'-VoOO; lu amount from Jlo.UiO
upward, say $25 Oob: none but first-class sec irity ac
cepted WKNUKLL KAsTO.N, 32 Aloutgi.liiery
street. pposlte Lick Jlouse.
FIG BITTERS
USE the Hierapicraor f ig Bitters. Cures Fever
and Ague, Biliousness. Constipation, Impure
Blood. Kidney Weakness, Worms, Urinary iMsor
ders. Female Complaints, etc. Druggists have iL
Agents, Kkihnhton fe Co, Wholesale Druggists.
San Francisco. Cal.
AI
tltnf: I. A KONF. Tilt: 4JICF.AT
( lalrvovant. has arrived from the l.at antl
ii located at Nr. J0 Howard street, near rourth
where she can be consulted on Business Analrs,
Love, Marriage and lxsse, Journe vs. etc. She will
even tell you the names of your friends and ene
mies, and the genUeman or lady you are to marry.
All who have occasion to consult a reliable Clair
vovant. should not fail to visit this truly wonderful
ifted woman. The madame has a vafuarl reme
y for uuliappiness In famlies. and for bringing the
sepa-ated together Ollice hours. 9A.il.toa i m.
Best Trasses and Shoulder Braces
MADE AT
J. II. A. FOLK KltS a. BOS.,
QlllUllCAI. AM) DKXT.tli IN-
IO STRL'MENT DEPOT, No. Ill Mont
gomery street,
tel entrance.
adjoining Occidental Ho-
R. THOMPSON,
ATTOKXEY AT LAW
IIOOX NO. To MONTGOMERY BLOCK, corner
lb o( Montgomery and Washington Streets. San
Francisco. P. O. Box, 1M19. Special attention given to
Aud g-neral practice In
Tito TJiiltotl Hit ;tt 'K Courts.
Tf EATING'S COUGH LOZENGES!
AX The Great British Remedy. There is una ues.
tlonably no other remedy so certain In Its effects.
ASTHMA, WINTER COUGH. BRONCHITIS and
i)ISfKl)ES Ob THE THROAT alike yield to its.
influence. The highest medical testimony states
no be ter cure lor these complaints exist (now
proved by over half a century's experience). They
contain no Opium. Morphia or any violent drug.
K EATING'S COUGH LOZENGES, prepared bv
THOMAS KEATING. London. Britain, are sold bv
all druggists. Agents for the Pacific Coast. RED
ING & CO. aud CHARLES LANGLEY & CO., Sau
Franclsco!
RUPTURE
BJi. IF RUPTURED. Send at
once for Dr. Pierce's NEW Il
lustrated Bonk. Addresi,
Maonetic Elastic Tki rs Co
C09 Sacramento St., San Fr-co,
CURED!
Attention WorklnRmen!
POTRAITS OF OUR LEADERS.
Kearney, AVelloolc fc Iviiljclit!
CABINET PHOTOGRAPH COPIES OF CARL
Vy Browne's paintings of
31 K. n. KEARXY.
President of the Worklngmea's Party of California,
NOW READY.
Wholesale and retail, at MICHAEL snEA'S
Newsdealer. M13 Market street. Single copies SO
cents per dozen, $4.sn. Sent to any address on re
ceipt of price. Postofflce or by Wells, Fargo Co.
Be sure tn addrefs MICHAEL SHEA. Newsdeal
er, 815 Market street. Knight aud Wellock's will
soon be ready. Send on your orders.
CALVERT'S
CARBOLIC
Sheep Wash.
CASH AND LOW PRICES!
If von want a SFWINO
M AC II I N E send to 1 9 N E w
MON'TUOM KBY STBEKT, Sa.V
Francisco, headquarters
for the best and latest im
proved machines.
If you are not prepared
to buy a high-p-lced Ma
chine, take one of tn god
$15 ones and pay for it. sav
ing the annoyance cf in
stallment payments.
SAMUEL HILL.
Dealer ir Sewlnp; 3Iaoliliies,
AXI Oil. STOCKS.
m
."
OPIUM, MORPHINE or LAUDANUM
Habit Cured!
Without pain, prostration or loss of business, "all
correspondence strictly confidential." Price from
to tao per month money relnnded if patient
is not relieved. Adrirest Lock Box ION, or call up
on K. P. ltussElx,502 Mason Kt. San Francisco.
Boots unci Shoes.
JOHN MVLLIVAX, N. K. cor. Bat
tery and Jackson Sts., San Francisco,
offers to make to order the bet French
Calf Leather BOOTS at from S to f S 00
California Leather Boots, - - 16 00
French Calf Oxford Ties, - MIIO
California - . 3 50
Boys' and Children's Boots and Shoes made to order.
Persons in the trountrv ordering Boots and Shoes to
the amount of 12 or more will be allowed a reduc
tion of four percent, to make tbe express charge
ilght. I sell Boots aua csnoes oi mi uns otau
FACTUKE ONLY. Boots and Shoes sent C. O. I
positively one pric!
AMERICAN EXCHANGE HOTEL,
SAN FRANCISCO.
rriHIS old and popular hotel has for a quarter of a
I century catered to the wants i l the public.
Tiio. Bbvak, an eld Caitrorinan and
enced gentleman, conducts the bouse,
an expert-
which is a
feullicleut guarantee that
Comfort. Cood Irving, ritanlinrn
A n.l M I ( (r.niiri) 1 wrellfitre of euests will be accorded
to all. The table will be furnished with the bet tbe
market alljrds. Oeutleuiany and ohliidng clerks
um.i ciii-ef nl waiters in attendance This house is the
mOMt centrally located of any In the city. Street
cars pass the door every two minutes. The hotel
coa?h will carry passengers to and from the house
free of charee. trices irom mi. an w
Pianos
AND
ORGANS
linn.be, IrvinsniMl Derker IMano
l'rlM BnaWterOrgani,
SHEET -HVTTTSIC,
LARGE STOCK. MODERATE PRICES.
Call and examiue before purchasing elsewhere
BANCROFT, KNIGHT
efts CO..
Music Dealers. 733 Market street. San Francisco
OREGON STEAMSHIP COMPANY.
The only I)lre-t Mnll LIbd to Porllaad
RRUVLABNTCiH KM "
iHit'i'f.NH from San Francisco every
E DAYS until further notice wteamsnips
City of Chester, Ceo. W. Elder
Ajax and Oregon.
Ciiiinectinir at Port and. Oregon, w tn steamers
u...i iruii,,,u1tt nuri thfir c otiiie ctini; Stutre liii"S f
all point In Oregon, Wasbinglon and Idaho Ten!
i.trioa Wniish coluiiib a ami Alaska.
This Com uan v has the exclusive right of sel ing
Thn.ncrh '1'ii-if 1 m u t Reduced Rates over the Or
gon Central and Oregon and California Railroads
in Oreiron. und of furnishing KMIGKANTS to
Oreeon with Certirtcaies es titiiug theiu to travc
w , iiMir riitc nvfr these roads.
CA IJTloN This is the only line running NEW
IRON SI EAMSH I I'K wltM every modem Improve
uient for the comf.'i t and sarety ol passengers.
K. VAN OTERENDORP. Agent.
SI Battery street. San Francisco.
PACIFIC COAST STEAMSHIP CO.
('Hrrjluc Ihr II. K. 31 ni I unil I If EiirrM
r T-rri- Tlie Kleg-uiil Mrsmrm or mt
mT"?i? fv.mpunir leave Broad way Wharf, San
t inm iMco, r.vKitv w kick lor
PORTLAND, OREGON, DIRECT
And for Santa Cruz. San Luis Obispo, Santa Bar
bara. Ventura, l.os Angeles, and San Diego and
other ports about EVEKV THIUD DA V.
Tickets soi l to all the principal places on the Pa
clllc Slope at
'I'll 12 I.OW1WT ItATJW.
on't Hta.v TlrlteU l.r T olher l.lne
until 'ull nt our Tlrbrl OMi-e.
Mm. FrnnriM-n Tirbel Olllr 211 Nonl
Kri.T.v Street.
GOODALL. PERKINS 4 CO.
General Aaents, No. 10 Market Street,
Sau Francisco.
EYE and EAR
REMOVAL.
NPEt'IALTY,
J. iAi:uii.M..
tn Clay St.
Trent hi entof the Kye and
Ear lias been my specialty
for the last 27 years.
CATARRH
Positively cured by Consti
tutional Treatment for the
Blood, with the aid of my
N A S A L T U B E S A N D
FLUID for the treatment of the Nostril. TheThrwat,
Lungs, Liver. Dvspepsia.Scrofulaatidskin Diseases;
also disease of the KldBe.n nl Uenllo-I'rln
iirv organs treated successfully. KI.WTKKITY
scieiitiriVallv and successfully applied in all Nkrv
ors Affkctionh and itn ki.'Matism. Medical and
Surgical Treatment in all Diseases.
Call or address W. J. PAIU1I, M. D., 2I 'ly
Nirerl, San Francisco. Cal. (over the Clay Street
Savings Bank Booms 1. 2 and 3.
N. B. ARTIFICIAL EY ES large assortment al
ways on hand.
GRAND REDUCTION IN PRICES.
J. SUORT,
Having just received a Large Invoice of
WEST OF ENGLAND GOODS,
Therefore informs his patrons that he will make
CLOTHING TO ORDER at tbe Lowest CASH
PRICE for the next Sixty Days:
Business Suits to Order. - $25
Pants to Order, - - - $6
Dress Suits to Order, $35 to $50
Commercial St., cor. Leideedorff,
TCTo. O Koarny Stroot.
SAN FRANCISCO.
SPECIFIC FOR WORMS
VICTOR VERMICIDE
A Mure Nnt'e una Prrnisnrnl Cure.
FXCE, 50 CEITTS
Sent on receipt of price.
Boer i eke & Tafel,
AGENTS,
lllttOl
5 :i l
itlM?t,
SAN FRANCISCO.
IIompnllil Boolcal and MJIclnea
for Phyalclana and Fiiniillea.
Wholesale and Retail.
TO T1IK ArFLltTKD.
Dr. Wm. K. Doherty,
IMIYSICIAX AXD SIKUEO.Y,
-m mr
:YI . r virlvir of Disease of the Luugs
AY BE CONFIDENTIALLY ainstLinn
Liver, Kidneys, Digestive and (lenlto-Urinary Or
gans, Nervous and Physical Debility, and all special
diseases resulting from ignorance or folly. Twen
ty years special practice in curing these diseases
has developed a syslei" of treatment exclunlvely
hlsown bv which he is enabled to dispense with
mineral and other poisons, and to warrant thorough
cures in quick time without interruption V busi
ness. Ladles suffering from Uterine Affections or
any of the diseases peculiar to their sex, promptly
relieved. His large experience in Female Com
plaints guarantees successful treatment. Terms
moderate. Consnltatlou free. Offlce hours from O
a.m. loN p. m. Office
7CO MARKET KTltEET,
between Third and Fourth streets. Patients In the
country cored at home. Call or write for his pamph
let on special diseases. Everyman should have a
copy of this little work. Address
DR. WM. K. DOIIKRTV.
Postoftlce Box 1373. San Francisco.
DR. SAIiFXEIiD'S
rpnEoitF..rniinDY"FOR;AKNEvo pE-
JL cull r to liuTi-ures nrous and physical de
bility and restores eSWivitality to slrengUi ol
manhood uid vigor c?5rCrth in from four t J sir
wieks with uufailhiFfaigty; sure euro for tid-
Z'S5;alUT a"JJ'der 5iiaints: pride, W BO
per bottle, orjj a in case f6rHjuo; lent e wrV
whore secmIrom observation; Tuuications
rictly cHmioutiui; consultations iTvtrortrle ??
nrso
.ee. Call or address DR. SALF'WLLD ai
street, San Francisco. oUice hourSfctii Tilt
-id O till H v. u.
1 8
STRIDING
SUBSCRIPTIONS
AND
Satisfactory
To others
K r e a t 3P am 1 1 y
Weekly
THE PREFERENCE IN THEIR
The Chronicle is universally acknowledged to be tbe
MOST ITEKPKISIXCS AXD COJIPI.ETU XKiVS.
IAlElt OX THE PACIFIC COAST.
o-
rilE SN FRANCIC WEEKLY CHRONICLE is the first psp-r on the const In nhintv si.ft
in the freshness and reliability U Its news Nothing that the world desires t Km.w is omitted fr m
its columns ITS TELEGRAPHIC RE POUTS , , ,,
Are the latent and most reliable, its Local Ntws the tul est and spiciest, afd its Editorla s fr m the ali mi
,e"8 iVe Wkkkly'chhonicik has always been, and always will be. the friei d and
CHAMPION OF THE PEOPLE
As against combinations, cnqucs.corrmathnyn;oppeBm It wil. be
Neutral In nothing; fair and impartial to'ail parties.'yet exposing corruption w h rever found, and work ,
lug with fearless endenvor to promote and protect every interest of the greut public whom It sei vesan l
on whom it depends for its support XJRKKJN corrkonDENCE
Embraces letters from- Europe. China, Australia, Mexico and oilier parts of Hi word It IJteiar;
D.artmentl"atiended to with care, and has carefully pr.pTed book reviews, admirable tales m..
sketches and the finest poems. Jennie June, the best fashion writer in Amen.-a. contrihu tes r-giilHrr
Washington news U.furulshed by skilleJ writers, kept exclusively by tae Chkoxiclk at tbe National
Capitol. AORICfl.Tt:RAr. DEPARTMENT
Contains ma' ter fr. m the pens of wi iters skilled lu stock, in vi-getab e products aud the best methoJ ol
,armi"B THE FINANCIAL COLUMNS
C..nt in re'lable quotations of slocks, mercuandU of all kiuds. cereals and a:l other articles which en
te. i t, tbe routine of trade. DEPARTMENT,
V ich has proved sc popular In the past, w ill be pushed with more than rdinury vljor, and p-iz-s
fcflVr. d from time to time that will give all the little ones a chance
The Wkkkly Ciieomclk supplies the intellectual wants of all. tho Farmer, the Lshrer. the Ar
tlan the Merchant, tbe Viiuer, the Old and Young. This GREAT FAMILY PA PER of sixty-four iM)
large columns of reading matter once a wc k f. r twelve months is to be heucrf.Mth furnished for
ftS.ao, lu advance. Including postage.
XOW IS TIIE
TIME TO
OR TO
GET UP A CLUB
And sncure a valuable premium. Send for our Illustrated Descriptive Catalogue o" va'ushle Premi
ums, wbicu Include ishot Guns. Sewing Machines. Gold wulclies, Ubrair.ts, fccales, flows etc. Air
copy to the getter-up of a club f 5, at fl 50 per year.
SEND lX)Ii A SPECIMEN COPY. ALL POSTMASTERS ARE AU
THORIZED TO RECEIVE SUBSCRIPTIONS.
. Send money by postal order, registered letter or by express, addressed to
CHAS. DE YOUNG & CO., San Francisco.
INTERNATIONAL HOTEL.
Cor. Kearny and JackMU SU. and Montffomerj Avenue, Sau rrnneic.
iMIIS Hotel Is In the very center of the Great City.
L street In Sail Francisco. The hotel Is within one
Odlce, City Hall, aud a first-class Variety Theatre directly in ironi. s
TIIE XEW INTERXATIOXAL HOTEL
Was built three years ago, and contains about 10 Room, and is In every respect the Finest Fam
ily Hotel in San Francisco, for the price.
ROOM AND BOARD, $1.25 TO $1.50 . PER DAY, ACCORDING- TO ROOM.
Tlte Dlnlnff Room Is on the secoud floor, so that families are not obliged to travel down and up
Stairs Table la nronnlinrfil It nil to be the best in San Francisco. ! It on every floor.
,w --,- mum- i iIl--i'W() CONUOKD COACHES, with the name of the Hotel on. will hIwhvs
Jr JKEtiBT LvAlMM. oe in waiting at the Landing to convey pMMs.-ng.rs to the Hotel IRIL
Be sure you get In the right coach: if you do not you will be charged. II. '. PlTKIDUi; frop.
TRADE
Is the way the ivori is pronounced, and
DAMIANA
GREAT STOMACH REGULATOR,
Restorative, Invigorator and Laxative.
The only Wonderful Aphrodisiac and Special Tonic for tli9
Sexual Organs of Both Sexes.
A Positive Cure for Diseases of the Kidney and Bladder.
All Wholesale Druggiste s nd Liquor llousea in San Francisoo keep it.
o o
c
JJ
R
D
o -o
THE
TETJSS.
Adopted by XS.
Government.
IS USE BY
EMPERORS
RECOMMENDED
SURGEONS.
From BAXMOn DEXTEB, 91. A.. M . I.
Prefmor of Zoolegy. Comparative and
Unman Anatomy and Phyaloloary In tbe
University of Cblrnffo. 1413 Indiana At
mnr,
Chicago, ICov. 15, 1377.
Messrs. BARTLETT. HITMAN fe PARKER:
Having uaed your 'Comruon-Seime Truss" In my
practice fr over ten years, having known of its
adoption by tbe Board of Surgeons of tbe United
Wlates Army, of its having received the highest
award at the American Centennial Exhibition, or Its
adoption and use by several of the Royal Families
of Europe, and Laving examined almost every de
vice of tbe khid, I feefat liberty to say that its pivot
and ball and socket joints, set screws, correct re
taining force, superior workmanship, etc., are all a
competent surgeon could wish, and it is worthy the
term " Common-Sense Truss."
RANSOM DEXTER.
Descriptive circulars, with -r ces. mailed free
Tbe Ruptured will find It to their mt-rest to write
us. Trusses at all prices. Supporters, Braces, Elas
tic Stockings a specialty.
Office of
COMMON-SENSE TRUSS CO.,
100 JIOXTOOJIEKY STREET,
Sax Fbajtcjsco.
DR. W. T. BOG ERT, Manager.
7 81
ONWARD
FLOVING IN
Inducements !
to e:ive the
Newspaper Ii
diFonicie!
RENEWALS TIIE
-O
COMING YEAi:
Kearnv Street D the finest anil principal bnsi ie?a
block of the Post Ollice, Custom House, U. S. Li.J
MA UK
is the chief ingredient of tie popnlar-
BITTERS
-THE-
Ir. SPDfXEY & CO.,
No. lit Kearnr Street
TREAT ALL CHRONIC AH It SPECIAL
.Diseases.
YOOG
Who may besuffering from the effectsof yontbfti!
follies or indiscretions, will do well to avail them
selves of this the greateM boon ever laid at tbe altar
of suffering humanity. 1K. SPINNEY will Kua.-an-tee
to forfeit five hundred dollars for every case ol
seminal weakness or private disease of any kind or
character which be uudortakes and falls t" enre
He would therefore say to tbe unfortuuate snlTerei
who may read this notice, that you are treadlug
upon dangerous ground when vou longer delay in
seeking tbe proper remedy for your complaint.
You may be In the tiisl stage remember you are
approaching the lanu If you are bordering iipou
tbe last and are suffering some of its evil effects,
remember that if you obstinately persist in pro
crastination, the time must come when the most
skillful phvsician can render you no assistance;
when the door of hope will be closed against yn:
when no angel of merry can bring you relief. In
no case has tbe Doctor failed of success. Then let
not despair work itself upon your iroagh a Ion. but
avail yourself of the beneficial rf suits ol his treat
ment before your case is beyond the reach of med
ical skill, or before grim death hurries you to a 1"
mature grave. !9
3miII.lAC3El JIEX!
There are many of the age of thirty to sixty who
are troubled with Uk frequent evacuation ol Uie
bladder, often accompanied by a slight smarting or
burning sensation, and a weakening of the system
In a maimer tbe patientcanno - account for. There
are many men who die of this difficulty, ignorant
of the cause, which is the second stage of semina
weakness. Dr. S. fe Co. will guarantee a perfect
pure in all such cases, aud a healthy restoration or
the genito-urlnarv organs. QtTice hours 10 to and
6 to 8. Sundays from 10 to 11 A. M. IXtnsuUalioo
Eree Thorough Examinlion and advice, (a.
Call or address DR. b PIN KEY A CO., a 11
Kearny street. San Franclaoo.
PRESCRIPTION FREE.
FOR THE KPKEUTCrREol Seminal Weak'
n ess. Lost Manhood aud all disorders brought on
by lndlscretin or excess. Any druggist has the lo
gredients. Du. W. JAgCES & CO., 130 W. UU
troeu Cincinnati. Oiilt-.
V
X X