WIT AND HUMOR.
Collector's favorite color dun.
When engin-ears comprom-eyes, any
body nose the people are a-head.
Some people read the eleventh com
mandment " Do riot and fear not."
The man who can say all lie has got to
say in a few words is an ugly customer
to handle.
A child thus defines gossip : " It's
when nobody don't do nothing, and
somebody goes and tells of it."
It is suggested that the name of the
Charter Oak Life Insurance Company
ought to be changed to the Slippery Elm.
Good man, you must always narrate
the facts clearly and truthfully to your
lawyer. It is his business to mix them
up and lie.
Three are a mob, according to law.
This is what a young fellow thinks when
he and another chap are courting the
same girl. X. Y. Herald.
Ix concluding an article on the last
corn crop, an Alabama editor remarked,
" We have on exhibition in our sanctum
a magnificent pair of ears."
A Mississippi granger is opposed to
railroads. He says that when he goes to
town they " bring him home so quick he
hasn't time to get sober before he ar
rives." If von fro on an excursion and the seats
aro all taken, stand up as long as yon can
and then cry out : " Man overboard !"
Every woman will rush for the rail.
Free Press.
" Another whaler sailed," wrote a
New Bedford editor. "Another sailor
whaled," said the intelligent compositor,
who had been watching a parting fight
on the wharf.
"A soft answer turneth away wrath ;"
yet a man caught by his wife dealing soft
answers to a pretty widow next door,
says he can show scars to prove that the
proverb didn't work well in his case.
Ix some parts of the world the days
are four months long,- and when a lively
boy of six years accompanies his parents
to church for the first time he thinks he
has struck one of those kind of days sure.
A rich, but parsimonious old gentle
man, on being taken to task for his un
charitableness, said: " True, I don't give
much, but if you only knew how it hurts
when I give anything, you wouldn't won
der." " So you like your second wife better
than the first ?" " Yes," he said, enthu
siastically; " she always puts enough
starch in my shirts to save me the trou
ble of scratching my back." N. York
Weekly.
A North Carolina man has invented
a new spark-arrester, just as though the
old man yelling down stairs to the girl
to come to bed, and asking if that sap
he&d intends to stay for breakfast, wasn't
effective enough.
A CjCstky editor publishes the state
ment that the "moon-eyed men" of his
town are raising a fund for the relief of
sufferers by the late fires. The moneyed
men would probably be obliged to him
if he wouldn't O them so much.
"Doctor, my daughter seems to be
going blind, and she's just getting ready
for her wedding, too ! O, dear mo, what
is to be done ?" " Let her go right on
with the wedding, madam, by all means.
If anything can open her eyes, marriage
will."
Whex a small boy with a prejudice
against yellow dogs observes an old oyster-can
in a condition of activity, he at
once begins debating whether it was cre-
ated
to point a moral or adorn a tail.
The
dog gets the first news of the de-
cision.
"Mother, mother, here's Freddy teas
ing the baby." " Make him cry again,
Freddy, and then mother will give him
some sugar, and I'll take it away from
him, then he'll squall, and mother will
give him some more, and you can take
that, and we'll both have some."
Mrs. Mulock Craik has written sev
eral verses about " When a Man Comes
Home." She says, "When a man comes
home, let him enter, smiling." But
pretty often he has "smiled " so much
before he comes home, that it is almost
impossible for him to enter at all.
Mr. Evart's wit is the life of the Cab
inet meetings at the White House. He
told his associates the other day that he
was going to put over the door of his of
fice in the State Department a passage
of Scripture slightly changed, thus :
" Many call, but few are chosen."
His Reverence (time Sunday morn
ing) : " Tim, you don't mane to say ydur
master is going to work the poor baste
to-day ?" Tim : " Oh, no, yir riverence!
Yir see, he's been hard to work all the
week, so the master thought he'd take
him out to-day for a bit of a holiday!"
f Judy.
Spilkixs came down town this morn
ing with a nosegay in his button-hole.
" Hullo!" said a friend ; "why, Leander,
you look as if you'd just come out of a
green-house." " No," replied Spilkins,
mopping his fevered brow, " but I pass
ed the night in a hot bed." N. Y. Com.
Advertiser.
Scexe: Royal Academy, Gallery No.
2. Artful One (noticing proximity of re
freshment room) : "Oh, George dear, I
I feel so faint." More Artful One (who
has been "served that way before") :
"Faint, eh? it's this doosid unpleasant
smell of cookery: let's get on a bit."
London Fun.
A Scotch witness somewhat given to
prevarication was severely handled by a
cross-examining counsel. " How far is
it between the two farms?" said the
counsel. " By the road it's twa mile."
" les ; but, on your oath, how far is it I
as the crow flies?" " I dinna ken ; I
never was a crow."
Two Irishmen were recently looking
at people stretching a rope from one
house-top to another for the purpose of
suspending a banner, " Shure an what
will they be afther a-doin at the top of
thim houses there?" Pat asked. "Faith,
an it's a submarine telegraph they're af
ther puttin up, I suppose," answered
Mick.
Ccstom-house Officer: "You're keep
ing a sharp lookout for the Colorado bee
tle, Mike?" Mike "Ay.ay.sorr. Shure
and wasn't it thisblissid marnin' we stop
ped a quare sort o' traveler, and over
hauled his portmanchew, and sorra a bit
did we find on hkn so much as a cocked
hat to bespake him a beadle 1" f Funny
Folks.
Some short time ago a Yicksburg wo
man was trying hard to get her drunken
husband home, and as she pulled him
along the street, her words and actions
were so tender that a citizen halted and
said, "Well, all drunkards' wives haven't
your disposition." " S-h-h ! don't say
anything," she replied, in a whisper ;
. " I've got to call him pet names to get
him home, but wait till he drops into
the hall be there then."
i x T V"-
A Modest Methodist Minister.
HOW HE WAS CACGHT BY CUPID AT CAMP
MEETIXG. Ocean Grove Camp Meeting, August
17. As the camp-meeting is well under
way, I must rise and tell my experience
before the brethren:
Her skiff was named the Pentecost,
and she rowed it all alone. People en
viously said that she must have a versa
tile tongue to put such a name upon her
boat, but the blade of her oar was more
dextrous than envious tongues. She
passed everything on the Wesley lake.
As she rowed the fine outlines of her
form were defined. Her arm sometimes
was exposed enough to make men see
that though muscular, it was round and
trim.
He also rowed alone; his boat was call
ed "The Little Fraud." He wore his
hair behind his ears, and his feautures
were of a monastic leanness, yet fine.
He had large, feeling eyes, soft as a pray
er, expressive as praise.
Barbara was struck with his appear
ance. She said : " I never expected to
see a man hero I could look at twice.
My aunt is such au incorrigible Meth
odist that she would go no where but to
Ocean Grove. I hate it! She goes to
the meetings and I'go rowing. Now,
by rowing every day for two months I
have muscle enough to hug the life out
of that little fellow yonder, if he was
spirited enough to flirt!"
She therefore adopted all the devices
of her sex when mischief and obstinacy
unite to suggest tliem. Her handker
chief was set flying over her shoulder,
after she passed him, so that he could
see her, a she looked astern, place it
there. A little more of thosefine arms
were exposed specially for him, and they
attracted even the small boys, but that
sweet and refined monastic face only
looked a little more respectfully out of
its large eyes. " I believe I've touch
ed him, though he is too saintly to look
it," said Barbara. "Who is he? Is he
married?"
The stranger also rowed his boat with
reerulanty, and seemed to be a sort of
a religious athlete, but he was no match
for Barbara. She rowed around him,
behind him, and finally fouled him;
then his fine eyes wore a more cherry
light, but not quite worldly yet, and she
heard a full melodious, clearly articu
lated voice exclaim: "Sister, we're
afoul! But it must be thy fault. I'm
the worse rower of the two."
louuont want me to take you in
tow?" asked Barbara, cooly. The gen
tle and refined face barely smiled, and
he shook, his head, "No." But still
there was a little more ardor in his
glance.
Barbara exclaimed that night:
"Aunty, I'm in love!"
" At last," answered aunty, looking
over her bible. " Whero)have you been !"
" I have you been trying to flirt with
one of your kind; ho looks like a meth
odist monk. Ho rows a boat called 'The
Little Fraud.' And that's what he is!
He's got my heart; I'm sick. Hadn't
you better pray for me? I want that man
and no other."
Aunty wanted to have Barbara mar
ried, and Barbara's fortune put where
it would do the most good. She said:
" Niece, perhaps you'll find that young
man at somo of our meetings."
" Then I shan't find him," said Bar
bara, "for I hate your meetings. They
are vulgar! The last time I went a man
told three stale and, I dare say, invent
ed anecdotes, and then shouted at the
top of his voiee, using the initials of
his own name, " Jesus died for P. II.
Bliss! P. II. Bliss is pardoned ! Thank
God for its! He died for us! 1 II.
Bliss is one of us! Now that," contin
ued Barbara, "is worthy of A. Ward.
If my young monk preaches that way
I'll run him underwater, and drown
him in Wesley lake."
Barbara would not go to the meeting,
but that day and the next she rowed the
lake, and the young man was not there.
" I may have frightened him off," she
thought. "What a miserable paddle
this lake is without him. I could go
somewhere and cry!"
She did cry, and scolded her aunt.
I shall just go up to Long Branch,"
she said, "and marry one of those nin
compoops, the stock brokers!"
"Ah, my child!" said aunty, "hunt
your young monk first at meeting. If
you don't find him, you may find conso
lation. I've buried two pious husbands,
and may be the Lord has willed it for
me to have a third. Blessed be His
name. I shan't rebel."
The old lady sniffled, stuck out her
foot as if to admire it, and went on read
ing her bible.
Barbara put on her bonnet that even
ing and went to meeting. She had hard
ly entered the accessory tent when it
was to be held, when she saw the Little
Fraud. He was among the dignitaries
of the church. He blushed over his
pale face; she blushed over her fine,
commanding, almost masculine features.
Nature never turning out her physical
superior. Health played in her like
champagne in the quart form of the
crystal bottle, and now, it seemed, the
preacher's hand was drawing the cork
and all her nature bubbling upward.
That soft and deeply-drawn voice
read a hymn:
" Watchman, tell us of the uiglit;
W hat its signs of promise are?"
Such reading Barbara had never
heard. An actor could not do as well
"I'm gone," she said, "It's Methodist
witchcraft!" The reading of that hymn
was supplemented by the young man
leading the singing of it to a small organ
accompaniment. "O!" thought Bar
bara, "if I could play that organ to
tuat voice, lie suoutd never stop, but
si. g himself to heaven, or faint in my
arms."
Some tedious man preached, and
whenever he stuck, yelled his text aloud.
The text was, Behold the mustard
seed!" Barbara's aunt said it was a
noble discourse. Barbara remarked
sotlo voce, " Oh! aunty go to grass?"
After the preaching and more singing
the Little Fraud arose to exhort. He
had been looking quietly at Barbara
during the sermon, particularly when
ever Brother Stuffinbox cried, " Behold
the mustard seed!" " He is not afraid
of mustard;" said Barbara, "but it makes
him blnsh!" The Little Fraud was neat
as a pin and soft as a fawn. Sincerity
and refinement invested him, and he
was earnest in not bullying peoplo to
heaven as if he was driving steers. He
addressed himself to the sense of divine
love and gratitude. Barbara listened
with delight. His slight form grew to
a height as he proceeded ; his tender eves
were beseeching;
" O stay that careless oar dear broth
er sister!" he said, and his eyes were
on Barbara. "The rapids are before
you pause."
" I'm in them," thought Barbara.
After the address came prayer and the
invitation. The young man walked
down the tout as the time for personal
appeal to sinners came, among other
earnest brethren. He stoppeu ueiore
Barbara, and when no one noticed,' in
a time of general emotion, he knelt be
ore her. He took her hand. "Sister,"
said he, "have yon found peace?"
"I hope to find it," said Barbara.
" Now is the time," said the young
man, tenderly. "Why not to-day? Is
something standing between you and
everlasting love? Discard it from your
heart!" ml . .
"I can't," said Barbara. '.'This is
not the time and place to speak with
me, I don't like to kneel in straw. But
I'm moved."
She looked into the young man's face.
He blushed again, and his voice trem
bled a little in the pauses of Brother
Stuflinbox's roaring prayer.
" Can I help you to cast out that evil
from j-our mind?"
" Perhaps," said maiden. " If I am
worth saving you might try again but
not here."
She trembled a little, too, and between
them passed the flattering pinions of
the worldly angel which visited unseen
the monk Abelard and the wistful Ho
loise.
" I'll see thee again, then," said the
young zealot, softly. "Have faith till
then!"
Auntv brought home the Little Fraud.
She and.Brothcr Stuffinbox went deeply
into the jarable of the mustard seed,
while Barbara heard her monk discourse
anart. lie came aeain and aerain. One
day he said: " Dear sister, is that ob
stacle still in your heart? Perhaps I
can divert it! I have asked your aunty,
and Brother Stufliubox is ardent for the
ceremony!"
"Nothing else. I am afraid can save
me," faltered B;irbara.
"Why, sister," he answered, "it has
come to pass that nothing else can save
me. I have been in love a montu.
Then ho received the athletic hug,
ti 1 1 1 1 lit ai n luiii liuv; uug nuuiuu out,
while he tried to draw his breath: " For
shame, you Little Fraud!" Grald,
jv. l . urapiii .
Oyster Planting.
A man named Horter lived out in Col
orado, a few years ago, but, as his health
was bad, he was ordered to spend a
vear or two at the sea-shore. He was
born in the far West, and had never
seen an oyster in its shell. He bought
a cottage at Atlantic City, and went there
to live early last spring. A few days
after his arrival, he saw a man going by
with a cartload of oysters, which Hor
ter mistook for stones. Stones are
mighty scarce at Atlantic, and, as Hor
ter wanted some to make borders for
his flower-beds, he asked the man what
he would take for his load. It struck
Horter that the price was very high; but
he boucrht the lot. and had tliem down
by his cate.
Tho next day he stuck eight hundred
of them in the sand in his garden,
around the beds, and when the job was
done ho thought it looked uncommonly
handsome.
A week afterwards there were threo
or four warm days, and Horter remark
ed that the sea breeze smelled very
strong; and ho told Mrs. Horter that ho
thought there must bo a dead whale
lying somewhere around the beach. The
next day the smell became more offen
sive, and Mrs. Horter said that it was an
outracre that the authorities didn't clean
up the street and remove the garbage
that poisoned the air. On the follow
ing day the weather was extremely
hot, and the stench became perfectly ter
rific. Mr. Horter said there must bo a
dead rat somewhere in tho weather
boarding, and he got a carpenter to come
and remove some of it. But he found
nothing, and upon going away, lie re
marked to Horter "that the. sauer kraut
thev were cook iner for dinner was the
deadliest sauer kraut for smell that he
ever encountered in his life.
The stench grew stronger all that
nicrht. and on the next mornine a com
mittee of neighbors waited upon Mr
Horter to say if he would kill that Jpole
cat he would confer a personal favor
upon them, and upon the peoplo of the
county generally.
Then Horter told them how perplex
ed he was about the matter, and said he
would only be too glad to have the causo
of the trouble detected. So the commit
tee made a tour of inspection, holding
their noses. When they got into the
garden they perceived the oysters all
gaping wide open, and evolving an aw
ful smell, absolutely in fumes.
One of the committeemen, grasping
the fact that Horter planted these oys
ters, imagined he was crazy, and sudden
ly climbed over the fence and went.
The others remained, and asked Horter
what on earth he meant by laying those
oysters around in the sun in that man
ner. " Oysters!" said Horter. " Oysters!
you don't mean to say those are oysters!
Well, well! that beats all! I was won
dering what made all those stones split
even down in the middle. I couldn't
account for it! And so those are oys
ters? WThy, I thought oysters always
came in cans."
That afternoon he buried the shell
fish deep in tho sand, and the smell ceas
ed. Then he sold out his cottage, and
moved to Long Branch. He told Brown,
his next-door neighbor, that ho knew
they were oysters all the time, and he
did it for a joke; but he moved because
the people seemed to see too awful
much fun in it. Phila. llulletin.
Profitable Honey Bees. A well
known beekeeper in New York State
says that he obtained last season from
132 familes or stocks five tons of honey.
Many of the statements in the papers
about the quantity of honey obtained
by different men are not reliable; but
this men I think, has not exaggerated
much, as he is a skilled beekeeper. How
was it done? In the first place, these
wero undoubtedly selected hives from
a much larger number. Secondly
Theliees were in "non-swarming" hives,
by which the labors of two or three
times the usual number of bees in a hive
were secured in one hive. Thirdly he
probably used a honey extractor, by
which he obtained considerable strained
honey. Fourthly He resides in a very
fine locality for bees. This is 75 pounds
per hive, worth perhaps 15 cents per
pound, or $11.25 per hive, apart being
strained honey that sells now at whole
sale for 10 and 12 cents per pound in
New York, and comb box honey at 18
and 20 cents, but this statement shows
that bees are profitable in skillful hands
if the locality be a good one for them.
Rowland Hill was once requested to
preach a sermon to the elect. He
promptly replied: "Have the goodness
to mark the elect with a piece of chalk,
so that I may know them, and I will
preach to tl em." The request was not
insisted on.
COURTESY OF BANCROFT LIBRARY,
UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA,
That Disease Breeds Disease
Is a notorious fact. It is therefore of vital im
portance to check maladies in their birth, ere
they have a chance to develop other and more
dangerous disordera. As a means of checking
complaints which, if allowed to proceed, finally
disorder the entire system. Hostetter's Stomach
Bitters iu-a medicine the use of which cannot be
too strongly urged upon the sick and leeoie.
sures the acquisition of vigor by the debilitated.
OUU lb DUUBULUm ih lUCClllU cuhuiuvh -
for gloom and despondency. Dyspepsia, consti-
yti Liwu , livci tuuimaiuii auu
troubles yield to its remedial influence ; it coun
teracts a tendency to gout and rheumatism, and
invigorates the nerves. Moreover, it is derived
from purely botanical sources, and in this, as in
every other respect, is suporior to the mineral
OIR 1 1 ATT E KS.
A Model Hat Store O. Hebrmass, 402 Keak-
xy Steeet, Sax Fkancisco.
It has always been noted that some
business firms drasr a slow and tedious existence,
while another with no better advantages or cap
ital succeeds from the start, lor this there must
be a cause. The cause generally, yes, we may
pay universally, is that there i a man at the
head who not only understands his business m
a mechanical sense, but in a commercial one too.
The first essential is a fir.t-class article and one
which time proves the honesty of its recommen
dation. The hat store of which it is our pleas
ure to call attention to. is that of C. Herrmann,
402 Kearny street, this city. This store was
started here about a year anil a half ago by the
enterprising young man before mentioned, and
in that brief period he has built up a lucrative
trade. This has been accomplished by a close
attention to the wants of customers and treating
all with civility and courtesy. Anything ema
nating from his establishment is the best the
market affords and sold at marvelously cheap
rates. The consequences of this are that when
once a purchaser deals there he returns. New
styles from all the principal large manufactur
ers aro being constantly received. Mr. Herr
mann makes a specialty of line grade bats. In
felts he has a fine assortment of soft, stiff and
semi-stiff grades. Bilk hats are made to order
in the highest skill of the art and in any style
ordered. Wo would not unduly laud the enter
prise of this gentleman or the superior quality
of his goods, but in setting forth these state
ments wo feel assured that the public can sub
stantiate our assertions. S. F. Commercial.
Irviisr.s Japanese Paper Carpeting:.
Among the many novelties at the Me
chanics Fair, San Francisco, the well known
firm of Armes A Dallam exhibit some Japanese
paper carpeting. While it has the general ap
pearance of oil cloth it is handsomer and nas no
offensive smell, and as it costs only 50 cents
per square yard it must sooner or later have an
extensive sale. It is claimed it is even more
durable than oil cloth its fineness of texture
certainly gives credence to this theory. There
is nothing alou t it to friz and tear as there is in
oil cloth, and those who know anything about
Japanese skill in making an almost incredibly
firm, strong and tough paper, will readily credit
this. As it lays down smoother than oil cloth it
obviates a serious objection to mat material it
does not crack, and tho colors are printed into
the very fiber of the paper. No doubt some
people may have a prejudice against it ironi its
name, but if any will examine the specimens on
exhibition they will see that the fiber and body
of the material has more of the toughness ana
appearance of leather than anything known un
der the name of paper made in this country.
We have seen some of this carpeting which has
been in an ofliee where it is much used and it
shows hardly any signs of wear, although it has
been in use fifteen months. Armes A Dallam,
dealers in wood and willow ware, at 215 and 217
Sacramento street. San Francisco, are the sole
asrents. People should examine this for tliem
selves. Amies A Dallam will supply samplts
upon application.
A typographical error occurred In our issue two
weeks iu place of the word months." it read
' weeks,"
From Hon. W. II. Joura, of Hl inner,
Vermont.
" I have been troubled from my boy
hood with chronic orlioreditary lungcomnlaiut.
Some years since, early in the winter, I took cold,
which as usual settled into a severe cough, which
continued to increase as the season advanced, al
though I made use of all the cough remedies I
had knowledge of. My family physician also
prescribed for me, but I experienced no relief.
During ail this time I wan" gradually running
down, losing llesh and strength, until my friends
as well as myself beoamo very much alarmed,
thinking I should waste away in consumption.
While in .Boston, during the Spring following, 1
was induced to try Wistau's Balsam of Wim
Chebuv. After one day's trial I was sensible
that it was relieving me; in ten days time my
cough had entirely ceased, and I was soon res
tored to health and strength. I have ever since
kept the Balsam in my house, and whenever any
member of my family has a cough or cold, it is
immediately resorted to. No family should be
without it.'r Sold by all druggists.
Tlie Machine Wait Horn Out.
Why? Not because it was not well
built, but it was wrongly run. Thousands of
men who have run down long before their three
score and ten years are accomplished, might
have been renewed into sprightliness and vim
if they had tried the v. ell-known Peuuvian Sy
hcp, which contains among its compounds the
Protoxide of iron, so combined that it assimi
lates with the blood and invigorates the whole
system. This Syrup has proved efficacious in
thousands of cases, and wDl do everybody good
who uses it. All druggists keep it.
A Chance for Everybody. Extraordinary
Cash Premiums offered for subscribers to the
Weekly Rescue S10 per day can be made.
Address Russell, Gibson A Co., '518 Clay st., S.F.
98
PIERCE'S PATENT
MAfiSETIC EI.AKTIC
TRUSS. This great inven
tion is beijg adopted by the lead,
irig Physicians and Surgeons all
over the land. nrWe would
respectfully caution the I'ublie
agaiiiHt certain fraudulent and
worthless imitations which are
now iu the market. Jieware of
them. BdSS-end for Illustrated Book and Price List.
MAGXETIV ELASTIC TKUKS CO.,
W9,GeI eHcrineiito St., Up Stairs, San Francisco.
REVOLVER FREE
Seven-shot revolver.
with box cartridees.
Address J. Bowu fc Sou, 136 aud 1'iS Wood Street,
Pittsburg. Pa.
BUY A LAMB KNITTING MACHINE,
And maice :l to (4 a day. 8end for Circulars to J.
J. PFISTKR & CO., Clenral Agents, 12U Hvttkk
Stkkkt, Koom 4tf Sua Francisco.
THE SECRET
Adviser and Private Med
ical Guide. Sufferers from
physical debility, indiscretions and excesses, send
ix:. to Dr. Jobn Cooper, P. O. Box 2,148, Phiia., get a
cooy, cure yourself, aud save ex pen and exposure.
HOW TO BECOME LEAN !
OR the succesoful treatment of excessive fatness,
without injury to the health, bv the use of DK.
OKR'S KMX1K OF 'JL'LF WKEIV which can
he obtained of ali respectable iJruggists and at the
WHOI.KSAI.K IJKPOT, N. K. COR. POHTAVD MaNOX
Sts.. San Francisco. I'rlrr. 82.00 Hr bolllr.
Information to Country Residents.
The ST. GEORGE MEL, 812 Kearny St.,
SAN FRANCISCO. New four-story brick, con
taining lOO beautiful light sunny roor.is, newly
furnished, to rent by the Iay, Week or Month, in
suite or single, at one-half the usual rates, enabling
one to live in the cltv Iu line style for the small sum
of One Dollar per day. THY IT.
Ask your Grocer for
See that you get
AVBlsTA,
And do not be deceived with that which Is not
AVEISTA.
SPECIALTY
REMOVAL.
J. PAVlill, at.
It., ban ri'iiiiiiuil
l t'l.T alrerl. Dis
eases of the Kyk and Kar
receive especial attention.
Medical a rut fHtrpiral treatt
nient given In all diseases.
Much experience In Throat
and Lung diseases. FJectro
Matrnetism -iitjittrnri..
plTed in diseases of the nervous svstem. To Genito
urinary diseases much attet 4on'ls given. May be
consulted by letter. Addresn W. J. PAtOH, M. D
Kll Clay Street, San Francisco, (over Clay streeY
Savings Bank), Knows 1, 2 and a.
BLOOD
(IMCIIESSEJttU SAX.)
IF YOU ARE PALE,
IT WILL GIVE COLOR TO YOUK CHEEKS.
IF YOU ARE WEAK,
IT WILL GIVE YOU STRENGTH.
IF YOU FEEL DULL AND GLOOMY
IT WILL MAKE YOU CHEERFUL.
IF INCAPABLE OF EXERTION,
IT WILL GIVE YOU ACTIVITY.
IF THE
LEAST THING PUTS YOU OUT,
IT WILL GIVE YOU l'LUCK AMD ENERGY.
t' woni),
If Your Blood is Thin
IT WILL MAKE IT RICH.
A
UR(!E NUMBER OF MEN' AND OVER
tiuif ..l tho wiunvn siifTnr from AneutV or '1 hill
Wood; that is to say. that the quantity oi rei gioo
tiles, which predominate In a healthy anil vigorous
blood, is in their cases too small. The basis of these
reil glohuies is I HON. which their interKal economy
lails to furnish in sutVicient quantity.
The basirf of this new and wonderful medicine Is
also IKON, which is easllv assimilated by the sys
pm ami gives to the Blood ttiat vitality and stietigth
which it so much wants, and which is ho iunispeiisj
ble to that real eij"vment of life, commonly called
PKRKKCTT.T iol 11 KitTII.
One of the great qualities which will maue this
precious nrepaiation largely pooulur is that once
the Blood has obtained the quantity of Iron it needs
it will not iibso' b any more of it; there is therefore
no tear of bad consequences to be euiertai ued
should a person use it when not needed.
Therefore, if vo'i perceire any of the symptoms
above descr b-d, or in any way have the least cau-e
to think that your Blimd is thin, do not hesitate a
moment to have recourse to our UKD BLOOD, ami
stick to it until you reel a rad cal change; nn.l. r it
iuiltieni-e you will perceive your cheeks gradually
redden; vonr energy, moral mid physical, will be
strecgtlie"ii d, and you will discover what a good
thing it W to live when one is healthy.
AnemyorThln Blood is not only a disease by it
self, but it predisposes one to any other diseases,
prevalent or utider whose Influence you may be
unconsciously thrown why, then, not get rid at
once or such a terrible enemy ?
W'e owe this great discovery to Du. Bautkowsk v.
a distinguished French Chemist, who, under certain
considerations, has entrusted the undersigned with
his secret to act f:r him as his Agent for the United
StHtCS.
N. It.-Unlike any other preparation, this snot
ail'ect the teeth.
To be iiml from nil tlae principal licni
lst. Irir, 1.23.
A;entfirthe United States,
C. MEIQUIOND,
115 SAXSOJII! STRKI.T,
Corner of Commercial, San- Fuancihco, Cal.
JOHN T. LITTLE,
llcoiiiil Iti-oI.er, It ! Ktetntc- A;i'ul.iuil
llrnlrr in I'lilirtl StntrH, Slute. City nml
County IttttatlM. u, H'nler, Itnk.
Itallroad nml Otuer Keeurllim.
412 Montgomery Street.
$400,000
To Loan on CITY and COUNTRY
REAL ESTATE.
$250,000
To Loan on Gas, Water, Bank, Rail
road, and Other Securities.
MERCANTILE PAPER
Discounted, and Money Loaned non
all kinds of Collaterals.
4l Montgomery Street,
SAN FRANCISCO.
Moiney to ILosm
ON FIRST CLASS FARMING LANDS, IN
large sums, at low rates. IjuhIs bought and
sold. Parties having money to loan cau always Hud
good securities, by applying to
w.n. i.i:Kt'iMm i:u
Ko. K Stevenson's Building, S. VV. for. Montgom
ery and California streets. San Francisco.
OREGON STEAMSHIP COMPANY.
The Only Direct Line to Portland.
Cabin Inaairo. 8to I Nteerace InHaue, 93
K:ri.AK KTK A I E K H TO
fcl'OHTLAND leaving San Francisco ev
ery F1VK DAYS until further notice Steamships
City of Chester, George W.
Elder and Ajax,
Connecting with Steamers to SITKA and PUOF.T
SOUND, and O. anil C. R. R. Co. and Oregon and C.
It. R. Co. through Willamette, Umpqua and Rogue
Kiver Valleys, Oregon.
TICK KTS TO ALL POINTS ON TIIK O. and C It
R. SOLD AT REDUCED KATES.
K. VAN OTERKNDORP, Agent.
2IO Battery street, San Francisco.
PACIFIC COASTSTEAMSWP CO.
Carrylnar the V. N. Mail and ttic Kxirr.
Tli Klreant Nlfinuem of thin
k-Company leave lirnuinov ti'i,.f
i'inunui,VMII n KKK tor
PORTLAND, OREGON, DIRECT,
And for Santa Cruz, San Luis Obispo, Santa Bar
bara, Ventura, Los Angeles, and San Ulego and
other ports about EVERY THIRD DAY.
ciHcrsiope,at l " th6 prt,,ci'a' P'ces on the Pa
TIIIS LOWEHT HATKS.
...,V.,.""t 1"'T XicUeli. by any other Lino
until yon eall at our TieUet 111 re.
Kan rranrlMo Ticket OHiee 314 Mout
Ko iu-ry Street.
GOODALL. PERKINS k CO.
General Agents, No. 10 Market Street,
Sail Francisco.
. . . -r ' ' oau
San Francisco, May 30, 1877.
the nudenlenrU Wholeaale ro
er, take plrnnre in remarking the In
ereaaed demand for Iiawrn'n I'rrmlnm
Yeaot Powder, and or tetlflmar to the
general BaliHraetlon given by this brand :
8an Fbancibco WELLMAX. PECK k CO.,
ROOT & SANDERSON,
LEDDEN. WHIPPLE & CO..
HAAS BROS.,
TABER, UARKER k CO..
J. M. PIKE it CO..
J. A. FOLGER & CO.,
NEWTON BROS, CO..
CASTLE BROS..
KUUSE & EULEE,
JONES & CO.,
M. EHRMAN k CO..
. DANERI A: CO..
M. k C. MANGELS.
TILLMAN k BENDEL.
ALBERT MAU k CO..
W. W. DODGE k CO.
Sacramento ADAMS. McNEJLL & CO
MEBIUS & CO..
BOOTH k CO.,
MILLIKEN BROS.
STOVBS9 E AMGES
MARBLEIZED IRON MANTELS AND KITCHEN UTENSILS,
At tlic MECHANICS FAIR, San iV;mi-is'i.
IS MACE RY
W. W. MONTAGUE & CO.,
Who liaic Ue Larertl StocU and reatet Variety of KTOVI.S aud Kax;,;s Bn
II. e I-ucitlc Coaal. Over 500 WlOVren Style. Slie and lall. rns r suflt
Kau se may be weeit at their
WAREROOMS, 110, 112, 114, 11G, 118,
PATENT "
ffc-- TRADE MARK.
EXTERMINATOR !
The Price of this well known article in 5 lb. Tins has been MATERI
ALLY REDUCED. See tbat the above trade mark is on each package.
The Best Medium for the Destruction of GOPHERS.
FULL DIRECTIONS WITH EACH C N.
H. P. WAKELEE tfc CO.,
Importers of JJIXTJGrS mid OXIDE:3VriO-XjJS,
AGENT AND MANAGER GOLDEN CITY CIJFMfCAL WORKS.
Ul'KU'E, OIl. JIOTVOHi:ilV AI III
VET Kit YOU HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING
In vain, USE
IS6. SALFIELD-S
RejuvenatoR
Aud a thorough. Speedy and I'rriiiaiienl
riire will be your Kettard.
It Is the only Kri-ut remedy, immediate relief, an-l
positive cure for r.nkiiexs prr.uliar to uiri) : sucli
Nervous, Mental and Physical Debility, I'remaiure
Decline, and Krokttii-ilown Constitution, from wli-.il
ever cause. irill rextore Ertutustfd i'trrlit tityi
Jftnhfft ivtw.ii nil ttthf.r remetiie littre. ftjU&i. it will
purify the IiIimmI ami mipply it with Hie necessary
life-Ri vim? principle, and thereby eradicate nil mo- -bill
eruption! of the skin. I tin an immediate reli. f
and sure cure for ali KIDNEY' AND BLADDER
COMPLAINTS.
Price, $2 50 per bottle, or five bottles in cane (which
in mostei'ery instance lias Hl'ecte.1 a complete eurei
for $10 O) Sent to any address upon receipt of
price, or C. (. D Procurable only, direct of DR.
NALKIKLD, 'A Kearny Strrrl, San Francisco,
Cal , where you should call oraddr-ss your lvtlers.
AU communications strictlv confidential.
Ukkh k Hours : a a. m. till 4 p. M. and 0 till 8 i
M. Suuduys from 10 tiii 1 only. Cmuluitioii by
letter or personally Free.
USE the Hierapieraor Fi I'.itters. Cures Fever
ami Ague, liiliousne.ss. Constipation, Impure
liliHxi, Kidney Weakness, Worms, Utiiiary Disor
ders, Female Cumpiuiuts, etc. DrinrKists have it.
Aden's. IIkmnhtox & Co. Wholesale Druggists,
San Francisco, Cal.
W. 14. ( I1AMBE1U.A1X,JR. THUS. A. lt(ll:INl..
BUSINESS
C3LLIG2,
C20 To3t Street,
I II IS O.
OPPOSITE UNION SQUARK. TIIK OLDEST
and most complete Commercial i'olleiceou the
coast. Kleeaut halls : new ftmiiture: thorough in
struction: practical teachers: hilfb HtHiidiisif with the
public Students can commence at iin v time. Day
uiid Kveiiing sessions. Circulars free on application.
ISoots and Shoos.
JOHN Kl' 1.1.1 V 4 N, N. K. cor. P.at-t-ry
and Jackson Sis , sail Francisco,
offers to make to order the best Freuch
Calf Leather Hi IO I S at from j s to ! 00
California Leather Hoots, - - H 00
French Calf Oxford 'IVs, - - jl 00
California - - . s'l 50
Boys' and Children's Hoots and Shoes made to order.
Persons in the country ordering Roots and Shoes to
the amount of $1'2 or more will be allowed a reduc
tion of four ercent., to make the express charges
iKht. I sell Hoots and Shoes of MY OWN MANU
FACTURE ONLY. Roots and Nlioes sent C. O. D.
Positively one price.
Save Your Money
"I Y' (IKTTINH YOUR PHOTOGR APHS AT
J H(tVI,tMrs SDW IIALLKItr, No.
:t."i Thikd Stkkkt. First-class Itiotoraphs for half
ttie price charged at other Ualleries. Life-size Por
traits in Oil or Water olors, only Ten Iollar.
Old Pictures enlarged to any size and Reuutifullv
Colored. Rest Enameled Cabinets and Curds very
cheap at ilOWI.AD'S KV UALLKRY.
Please call and see our work and get our prices be
fore sitiinit elsewhere, and be wure and remember
the number, SH Tliird Klrert, corner ft Jessie.
it. r. MOWLAM). Artlkt,
San r'KANClsco, Oil
1YZ- COHKN.
riC'O AND SEE or write to Dr. Cohen, the
only living Astrologer. He has practised
eighteen years in San Francisco; he can tell cor
rectly the past, present and future ; gives reliable
Information and advice, of benefit to those consult
ing him. Consultation Fee, $2 by letter 3. n$,It
is not necessary to give the age. tt,Dr. Cohen's
medicine Is a positive cure for liver and kidney
complaints. Impurity of the blood, nervous debility,
heart disease, rheumatism, catarrh, lung diseases,
fever, diseases of the stomach and female diseases.
Cbaiges very moderate. Medicine will lie sent to
all parts of the coiLst. Ofliee, No. 405 Kearny St.
corner of Pine, Sau Francisco.
TO TIIK
I 1 1 - STEINIIAItT'S
ESSENCE OF LIFE
CURES NERVOUS AND PHYSICAL PERIL,
Ity, arid restores exhausted vitality Iu four
weeks as sure as water quenches thirst. Price 3
per Bottle, or 4 Bottles (In case) $10. Sent to any ad
dress upon receipt of price, or C. O. D
To be had only at 49 Kearny St., San Francisco
Oal., where all letters should be addressed. Office
Honrs from 9i.ii.tolp. m .. and 6 to 8 p. it.
DR. X. J. CZAPKAY'S
Private Mcdloul lntltito,
SO Kearny Sit.. San Franciseo. Established in
ISM, for thr. Fermwxrnt Cure of all. Strrinl ami
t hronte IHtrmrx, a.t also nil Eenuile ComjUainls unit
Viseaset of the A'crvou Hjjstfuu
rpiIR IMMENSE DESTRUCTION OF HITMAN
-1- life annually from secret and chronic diseases,
caused this oll and reliable Institution to be estab
lished first in Philadelphia, Penn.. iu is.-), and after
wards in San Francisco, Cal., in ls, Hs a private dis
pensary, in order to afford the afllicted the best med
ical and surgical treatment, for the above and all
other affections and complaint-!. Consultations at
the institute or by letter, FREE.
Phyoleal and Mental Iebillty.
Vital weakness, nervousness, low Kpirits. lassitude
weaknews of the limbs and back, loss of muscular
power, indisposition and incapability for labor and
study, a weak, exhausted feeling, no energy orcour.
age, palpitation of the heart, dullness of apprehen
sion, loss of memory, aversion to society, love of
solitude, timidity, self-distrust, loss of manhood diz
ziness, headache, pains In the side, affections of the
eye, pimples on the face, sexual or other infirmities
In man or woman, are cured bv the Justly celebrate!
physician. LJ.tZtPHAY.n. 1.
His method of curing disease is peculiarly hi own
(unknown to others) and hence the great success
Rheumatic affections, chronic catarrh, diseases of
the stomach and kidneys, liver complaints etc
successfully treated. '
DR. CZAPKA Y, one of the most successful medi
cal practitioners on the Pacific coast, mav be con
sulted confidentially In reference to the above and
all other complaints at the Institute,
No. 209 KE.tR.MV ST., Nan Franelaeo, Cal.
-The Doctor offers Free Consultations, and asks
no remuneration unless he effects a cure Charges
moderate. Communication strictly confidential
Medicines sent by Express. Address L. J. Czapk av
M. D., Postoflice Box C4, San Francisco
XI.. SPINNEY,
Ko. 11 KEARNY STREET.
rX"eai;esrS ALL CHKONIC AND SPECIAL DIS-
MIDDLE-AGED MEN.
.T.b,T;,f man? of tb? ot thirty to sixty wu
bntiJ b, ?. W,th 100 fr.ent evacuation ff . i e
m,t'. ' ",f'Compa tiled by a slight smarting or
LJiJ??. - .'' th? P'e"t eannot account for. On ex
amining the urinary deposits a r..pv sediment will
."'""""onieUiueaBt, : ! particles of al
HJiFJfj; 'PP""-. the color h. of a thin and
millclsh hue, again changing to a dark and torpid
inRearal,?e- There are many men who die of this
Oltliculty Ignorant of the cause, which is the second
stage of seminal weakness. Dr. Splnuey will guar
an tee a perfect cure In all such cases, and a healthy
r?.?,ral'on ot the (tenlto-urinary organs.
Ofliee Hours K) to 4 and 6 to 8. Sundays from
to 11 a.m. Consultation free.
Call or address DR. A. B. SPINNEY,
No. II Kearny Street, Sau Franclsc,.
NERVOUS
ana DEBILITATED
OF-
5
120 BATTERY ST., SAN FRANCISCO
Ml NTKKKTN.
KAN I KlMIStu.
lkAiit MARK
Ilav nil tlie ;l 1'oint:
Superior Merlmninii!
.!: tell less Sliitllle!
1' - II :t I Oil Work i n Hji;cilj!
SAIiLEll & II K ROWS. Oeneiai Agm,,
lia JIaKKKT Stkkkt. San Kraiu ivo.
and 46i Twe f Ih Street, liaklaM.I
Pacific Const Agents for the Celehrib-d Ki'i-i-r
Cold Nwsged Sewing Machine Needles, an. I J.'.
hers of oil, Thread, Silk, and t-11 kin. Is jl Atu b
ments. Tim SNnruc i
ME RICAN
SEWING MACHINE.
Tliroe-ijiwrlfr"! I.ews friction llimiaia
vtlier Machine.
IT BEATS THEM ALL!
Sel r - 1 lireMilinc
Miullle!
Srlf-Tliieadliis
- ! I- :
I.ililc-I
It It inline
Hlllle-t
Itnuiilng
Miuple-I :
' f:--l I. eru in l :i
liowtl il-i llje
Soe It ! Try It ! Buy It !
Warranted to Givk ENTIRK SATlsKAlTKi-V
AMERICAN SEWING MACKINECO
.-. It. It !. Jlaimet r.
121 FIFTH STREET. - - - SAN KUAN! ISOJ
IV$-.4'ool AarentH W:nl-1 In nil unoi-ru-ti)l
li'rrlliir.r.
COLLEGE.
120 Suiter M.
GRAND REDUCTION IN PRICES,
KHOlt'-r,
Having just received a Large Invoice of
WEST OF ENGLAND GOODS,
Therefore Informs his patrons that he will niske
CEOTHINU TO ORDER at the Lowest CAM"
I'RK'K for the next Sixty Days:
Business Suits to Order, - $25
Pants to Order, - - SB
Dress Suits to Order, $35 to S50
Commercial St., cor. Leidesdorff,
AM)
No. G Itoarny Street,
8AN FRANCISCO.
AMERICAN EXCHANGE EOTU,
KAN FKANC'lCO.
riHUS OLD AND POPULAR 1IOTE1 W,1II.('H1
J. has for the last twenty-four years exlemleii '"
the traveling public a contial welcome "V1",,
of a home, and so favorably known t- old nu"
ulans and the traveling public, that it reuuireii an
comment on niv part further than to say llwl""";
Bryan, who is au old Californlaii.aml knows no a
cater to the wants of the traveling public tins
the full proprietorship of the above hotel, ami "
leave nothing undone to nia!:e this hotel sccoii"
noue iu San Francisco for
Comfort. Good Livinu Cleanliue.
My sole aim shall he to the comfort and welfare e'
ly Kiiests. The table is furnished with the Dent i'j
market affords; the house has been thoroughly reu
ovated and newly furnished throughout; uuu
urea rooms well veninaieu.
ur-u rooms well veil inwico. u , .
Oentlemanly and ohlinnf clerks. ami deari ami
tentive waiters will always be found iu mv
The Hotel is the most centrally located of any
breast with the name of the house on
Hotel Prices are
tt-A RrMuvrm. t.f fjhr Eitritvrl.
fr..,,. It (ft t.i kt M fior ThftP Oive me
i rati '.
tnriVn tor vnumelves T'il'. H"v
PaopaikTca.
v?V:. CALVERT o
!5
ttra.nmi'ira-:
CARBOLIC
Sheep Wash.;
VICTOR SEWING MACHINE
'
c i- f -jv i k m ' r. . -
RARNAffll'S
SAN FRANCISCO, CAI-.
OFFERS the best facilities !r :i first duos Busi
ness Kducation. You may attend two day n
of clmrire to see bow von like it. No more student."
are admitted than Professor Hainan! can persona'.
instruct. Each student receives personal instruc
tion. Over one hundred references to graduates m
San Francisco.
the city, being In the centre of the 01 sines.,
Of the city; the Street Cars pass th" d or every !
minutes to all parts e.r the city, lhe l'"1u-' ' 'mi
with red lights, will be nt the railroad "Wl ,
wharfs to convey passengers tt the house "-"j
Charge: mv Runners wear Silver Radges on
S I -V