WIT AND HUMOR.
Roix call The cry of the baker.
Loakly people The Rothschilds.
Cool, but not always collected An
ice bill.
In -what place is two heads better than
one? In a barrel.
Gov. Youxa of Ohio is a twin. Hayes
seems to Lave been born t'win also.
Man glories in his strength ; -woman
glories in her hair ; butter glories in both.
A man who drinks lightly is now call
ed "a Durham," because he is of the
" shorthorn breed."
"Yes," said the old reprobate; "I al
ways recognize water when I see it it
looks just like gin."
Manx men are killed outright, but few
servant-girls know how to live out right.
Philadelphia Press.
It is affecting to hear an " old maid
singing her poodle to sleep to the air,
" If ever I cease to love.
- The young Texan doesn't tell you his
sweetheart is as sweet as sugar, but says,
" Oh, she II do to put m coffee !
A party who bought half a dozen of
' the celebrated seamless shirts," says
they seem less after being washed.
Love, the toothache, smoke, a cough,
and a tight boot, are things which can
not possibly be kept secret very long.
As soon as the novelty wears off, sen
teotiouBlv observed Mr. Bloprsrs. a man
never wakes up a baby for the purpose
of making it laugh.
"Don't trouble yourself to .stretch
vour mouth any wider." said a dentist
to a patient: "I intend to stand outside
to draw your tooth."
A correspondent wishes he was
piece of shrubbery during picnic time,
so that he could see all the fun and then
make a "statement."
Teutonic Aew 1 ork lady avac empress
ment to horse-car puncher : " Mishter
Condugdor, Condugdor ! Yen I vants to
get oud dot's Dover street."
The Oil City Derrick man says: "With
his wages reduced ten per cent, every
few days a railroad man can board a train
easier than he can board himself."
" Housekeeteb " is informed that the
Balkan Range, about which she has heard
so much, was not exhibited in the stove
department of the Centennial Exhibi
tion. " Do you understand the nature of an
oath?" a juryman was asked in a St.
Louis court. " Of course I do," was the
reply. " Do you mistake me for a Mem
ber of Congress ?"
" Well, Mac," said the Shoviff to one
the Mollies, recently executed in Penn
sylvania. " you will soon be on your way
to eternity." " Yes," was the reply, "I
am going by way of your-rope."
"Do those bells sound an alarm of
fire?" said a stranger the other Sunday,
as the church bells were calling together
the worshippers. " Yes," was the reply,
"but the fire ia in the next world."
" Qoot day, Moses. Vy s'help me !
my tear, how you vas shanged. Vouldn't
nefer haef known you !" "Butmyname
is not Moses, sir." " Kreat hefens, who
would think it your name shanged too?"
Photographer: "Madam, why do you
persist in moving so near the camera?"
Old lady : " You see, I'm a little nigh-
sighted. and I m afeard 1 won t take a
good pictur so far off." Harp. Bazar
" Drunk again, sure enough," said
Bummerson, fixing his eve on a light
ning-bug that glinted fitfully athwart the
horizon. "Just see how that star wob
bles, and I only had two glasses either
A veby modest young lady, wiio was
a passenger on board a packet ship, it is
said, sprang out of her birth and jump
ed overboard on hearing the Captain,
during a storm, order the mate to haul
down the sheet.
" "Waiter," cried an irritable gentle
man at a Paris restaurant, " this wine is
detestable! It is not euve (Widow)
Clicquot!" "Well, sir," replied the
garcon, humbly, "I don't know: it is
very likely she has married again."
"Db. Maby Walker swears by yonder
pale moon that she will never marry and
risk the humiliation of having a husband
come in and request the loan of her
black pants so that he may join in a fire
men's parade." Worcester Press.
Eve's CcRiosrrr. Young wife : ' I
wish you'd let me go with you to the city
to-morrow, Fred !"' Young husband :
" Why, my love ?" Young wife : "Be
cause I should so like, just for once, to
take a walk through the Money Market !"
Punch.
The Mexican name of a kiss ia teleeu-ame-quizel,
and when a pair of Mexican
lovers are caught teleenamequizeling
over the front gate at night, they appear
not a bit more confused than if a kiss
was spelled with only one syllable.
Norristown Herald.
Envy ! First Fisherman : " Wot was
the lady sayin' to yer, Billy ?" Second
F.: "Wants to paint my picter. Never
knowed I was so 'ansome afore !" First
F.: "Thought I'd seen 'er somewhere !
That's Madame Tocsoo ! Wants ver in
wax for the chamber of 'orrors !" "Lon
don Fun.
J cst before dying, a fashionable young
man asked to be buried in his best 6uit,
including one of those elaborate collars.
His request was complied with, but the
sexton said, "Blame if he was going to
dig a grave fourteen feet long unless he
was paid double price for it." Norris
town Herald.
A iiADY friend of ours enys that the
beautiful vistas of her soul life become
blurred when she sends her husband to
the corner grocery with four bits for a
loaf of bread, and he comes back chew
ing cloves and tells how he generously
gave away the change to a . blind man
with only one himl log.
An Irishman who had been sick a loDg
time was one day met by the parish
priest, when the following conversation
took place: " Well, Patrick, I am glad
you have recovered. Were you not afraid
to meet yonr God?" " Oh, no, yourriv
erence ! It was meetin' the other party
that I was afcarn uv !" replied Pat.
Old lady at the procession " Now,
which be the President?" Daughter
" The man with no hat on." "Ha! fine
man t fine man ! But where's his cabi
net ?" " Why, in them coaches behind ;
don't you see?" "La, no ! I don't see
nothing like a cabinet. I see men, but
no chest o drawers, nor nothin' !" Bos
ton Bulletin.
Amateur Theatrical Leading man:
(looking to the left of the stage) " Ah,
here comes down the hill my kind and
' gentle father. See what a kindly look
is in his eves. Ah. how his face glad
dens as he catches sight of me, his long
absent son. I will run to meet him."
As he runs, " my kind and gentle f ath-
tumes in irom ine omer siae oi me
-; stagey Confusion among the actors and
uttering among the audience.
How He Got It.
The New York Times has learned from
"exclusive sources" all about the recep
tion of Gov. Hartranf t's dispatch to Gen.
Grant, "Care of Her Majesty, Bucking
ham Plaace . " It says :
At two o'clock on "Wednesday morning
the Prime Minister, -who during his term
of office always occupies the second story
front bedroom in Buckingham Palace in
order to be handy if the queen wakes up
in the night and thinks she will have a
new title, was aroused by a tremendous
knocking at the front door. Hastily
springing out of bed and opening the
window he saw a boy in the uniform of
the Atlantic Cable Company standing on
the steps and wistlinsr " Rule Britan
nia." To the premier's excited demand
to know where the fire was, the boy coolly
replied, "telesrram for jour missis,
whereupon Lord Beaconsfield, angrily
exclaiming. "Holy Moses!" closed the
window, put on his trousers, and, de
RfeTnlinD' to the tloor. told the boy to
"hand it over!" Now. a cable telegram
costs a good deal. There was eight
pounds, four shillings and three pence
due on the telegram, and the boy refus
ed to deliver it without the money.
Hence it became necessary to awake the
nueen. The noble earl had to take this
delicate dntv upon himself, since the
servants remained invisible, and with
many misftivinjrs he knocked at Her Ma
jesty's door, and after informing her that
a boy was waiting with a telegram for
General Grant, and that he wanted 8
pounds, 1 shillings and 3 pence, meekly
suggested that she should hand him the
money through the crack of the door.
The queen may not be a particularly
irritable woman, but it was hardly to be
expected that she would get out of bed,
strike a light, and hunt up her purse
without betraying some little annoyance,
In fact, she was extremely angry, and
not only sharply refused to receive Gen
Grant's teleirraui, but informed Lord
Beaconsfield that if he ever woke her up
in the night again to pay nine pounds
for any one else's telegram, she would
dismiss him without a character. After
this there was nothing left for the pre
mier to uo but to tell the boy that no
person by the name of Grant lived in
that house, and to shut the door in his
face. At that moment the fate of the
telegram seemed sealed. The boy start
ed to return it to the office, where it
would have been endorsed "not found,"
and Gov. Hartranft would have been
charged with its cost. It so happened,
however that Gen. Grant and the Prince
of Wales, who had been attending the
Society for Propagating the Gospel,
were on their way to the General s Iodg
ings, and passing Buckingham Falace,
met the boy descending the front steps.
The Prince stopped and questioned him,
and on leaning that the queen had re
fused to pay for the telegram, remarked
that "some day mother would get into
difficulties by refusing to pay for tele
grams, ' and generously told the boy to
give him the telegram and he would call
and pay for it next day. Meanwhile Gen
Grant had caught sight of the address,
and thereupon paid the boy on the spot,
opened the telegram and read it. Thus
Governor Hartranffc's telegram reached
its destination.
Penalty of Mob Law. The people of
Pittsburg, who stood by and allowed
whole trains of freight cars to be broken
open and plundered of property belong
ing to their iellow-countrymen all over
the country, may exjiect to be compelled
to make good those losses of private
citizens as well as those of the railway
corporation whose buildings and whose
stock they suffered to bo destroyed. It
is probably a moderate estimate to put
the total of all these losses at $4,000,000.
The assessed valuation of Pittsburg is
$172,000,000, and it contains a popula
tion of 140,000 persons, many of whom,
of course, have been thrown out of em
ployment, or subjected to losses and in
conveniences by these scandalous
events. The city, therefore, will have to
submit to a levy on its valuation roll of
$2.61 in $100 of taxable property or
rather more than one-fortieth of the total
amount. This is equivalent to a fine of
$32.15 laid upon every man, woman and
child in the city to compensate tho in
jured parties or to an annual impost of
2.2o per capita to meet the interest at
at 7 per cent, of bonds issued to clear
the indebtedness. It must be obvious
to the meanest capacity that it would
have been much cheaper, even as a sim
ple question oi immediate outlay, to
preserve order and eniorce the laws.
Now that the mischief has been done,
however, it would be cheaper for Pitts
burg to "execute herself" at once, raise
the money and do justice without a law
suit than to incur the suspicion or being
unwilling to mako it safe for American
citizens to expose their property within
her limits. And it will be well lor the
tax-payers of other States to take warn
ing in time and save themselves thereby
both expense and shame. JY. Y. World.
Scenes in Erzerouii. The streets of
Erzeroum are compared by a correspond
ent of the London Standard to a nest of
wriggling eels. No squares, no good
lookng houses, offer any where a means of
setting cue's self right; anywhere noth
ing but houses, raised slightly from the
ground, with grass roofs, on which may
irequently be seen mumed-women, chil
dren at play, and lambs sometimes fall
through the chimney into the house, in
which men, horses, oxen, cows and sheep
live together. In bad weather the
chimneys are covered with fiat stones,
and then the smoke fills the room or
staoie, w mcnever one chooses to call it. i
a small part of ibis room, devoid of
light or air, in which a fire mtde of dung
aud finely-cut straw burns, is separated
by a railing. Hero paterfamilias sits on
a rug, smoking his chibouque or nargi
leh, and receives guests. The prepara
tion of food gives little trouble ; a pennv
a day suffices to satisfy the palate and
stomach, even in wealthy families. A
little bread and cheese, perhaps a' cu
cumber, under favorable circumstances
a pilaff, on feast days a piece of mutton,
which the Armenian women roast par
ticulary well that is the whole bill of
fare.
Cowakdice. Yon are a coward, if
afraid to tell the truth -when you should
do so. You area coward." when you
insult the weak. Yeu are a coward, if
afraid to do right, if yeu shrink from
defending yonr opinion, from maintain
ing that which you know to be just and
good; and you are especially a coward,
if you know certain things of yourself'
and care not to own them to yourself. '
Ax old-style farmer had his eyes
opened to the utility of "book farm
ing" lately, by a suggestion that even
sand and swamp muck, properly ap
plied, would increase the production of
his stiff clay land from 50 to 75 per ct.
He was tempted to try the experiment
and found it resulted even so. '
Wrecked in Port.
A TALE OF HYPERBOREAN VANILLA.
It was the wild midnight.
The tame midnight was off watch and
had gone to bed three hours before.
A storm brooded over the eastern heav
ens. It was a thoroughbred brood stortn.
Hop brewed for it was coming from
the yeast.
Hawkeye creek was rolling tumultu-
ously in its bed. Bugs, probably. Or
it might have beenn ervousness.
A little form cowered at the garden
gate. Manv a manly form has been
coward at just such gates, every since
Summer nights and gnats and beauty
and love and June bugs were in
vented.
"He does not come," she murmured
softly, as she peered into the darkness.
I cannot see him, I urill call him.
She was wrong. If she couldn't see
him she certainly couldn't call him with
the same hand. A manly step came
scraping down the sidewalk. It was
Desmond.
She threw open the gate, and the next
instant he clasped in his great, strong
arms twenty-seven yards of foulard, three
yards of niching, seven dozen Breton
buttons and a pompadour panier as big
as a dog house. It was all his own.
"All is lost," he exclaimed. "Con
stance de Belvidere, the Russians have
crossed the Balkans. AVe must fly."
Constance was a noble girl. She on
ly said, "Whither shall we fly?"
He wanteil to fly to some lone desert
isle, but she submitted an amendment
providing that they should fly to the ice
cream saloon.
The v Hew.
In the crowded saloon, where the soft
light fell upon the fair woman and brave
man, and the insects of a summer night
fell in the ice-croam frrzer. Thev spoke
no word.
When two sentient human beincs are
engupbing spoof nils of corn starch and
eggs and skim-milk, language is a mock
erv.
At length Desmond broke the tender
silence. He said:
"More, dearest?"'
She smiled and bowed her lovely
head, but did not speak. She was too
full for utterence.
1 A T 1 -1 . .
lusuioiiu gioomuv ordered more.
And more when that was gone. And
supplement to.that. And an aJdenda to
that. And an exhibit to that.
Gloom sat enthroned upon his brow.
Constance saw it. She said:
"What is it, dearest?"
He spoke not, but sighed.
A dreadful suspicion stabbed her
heart like a knife.
"Desmond," she said, "you are no
tired of me, darling?"
"By heaven, no," he said, and then
ho looked (and thought) unutterable
things.
Her brow lightened up with a ray
celestial intelligence.
"I see," she said, tapping tho empty
piate witu ner spoon, "loo cold. Sign
ed, U. Morbus.
He denied it bitterly, and bade her
remain where she was while he settlei
with the man.
She, guided by the unerring instinct
of her sex, peeped through tho curtains
of the saloon, bhe saw her Desmond
holding earnest discussion with the
man. She saw the man shake his head
resolutely in answer to Desmon3 plead
mg look and appealing gestures. She
saw him lock the door, take ont the
key, put it in his pocket, and lean
up against the door. She saw her own
Desmond take from his own pockets
and pile upon the counter a pearl handl
ed pocket knife, six nickles, four green
postage stamps, a watch key, two lead
pencils, a memorandum book, a theater
ticket (of the variety denomination).
pocket comb, an ivory toothpick, a shirt
stud, one sleeve button, a photograph
of herself, a package of trix, two street
car checks, a card with a funny (wick
ed) story on it, a silk handkerchief and
a pair of gloves. And then she knew
that Desmond was a bankrupt, ami
when the man swept the assets of the
concern into a drawer and opened the
door she sobbed convulsively, "And it
wast mine extravagance which has die
this thing."
They did not talk much on their way
nome. uace sue asked mm it he was
rich, and he only said, "Enormously
Such is life. Burlington Hawkeye.
Pinned Right Down. A groc. r do
ing business on Michigan Grand avenue
was yesterday asked to trust a colored
man one day for a quart of strawberries
"Can't do it you'd never pay." he
replied.
"I'll pay de monev afore 8 o'clock in
de mawnin," earnestly continued the
colored man.
"Perhaps you might, but I don't be
neve it. xi vou nave no money now
how will you have any then?"
"Don't ask mo boss I'll have de cash
suah. Ize-just prespiring to death for
do want of strawberries."
"Does any one owe von?" asked the
grocer.
"No, sah."
"lhen how do you expect to get any
monev ?
"Oh. de pay will be all right."
"I guess not, You'll have to try
some one else.
"Boss, you hez pinned me right down
to the cold facts," said the customer. "I
want strawberries, an dey hez got to
come, an', de re fore, let me say dat I
wasn't going out to-night to steal chick
ens an sell 'em to get money,"
"Ah, you wasn't?"
"No, sah, 'cause I dun pulled 'em in
last night, an' dey'll be sold to a butch
er dis evening. Dat's de cold fact, mis
ter, an' now wrap up dem strawberries
an' don't abuse my confidence."
One oy Lincoln's. The late Peter
Harvey onco called upon" President
Lincoln and immediately began his fa
vorite topic Mr. Webster and the great
and glorious past the statesman who
died and left no successor; the glorious
past and the degenerate present. He
lamented with great fullness and feel
ing the lack of statesmanship now; as
compared with the generation of giants
the men of this generation were pig
mies, and so on at great length. The
imperturbable Lincoln listened with
downcast eyes and solemn face till Mr.
Harvey had finished and paused for a
reply. "Mr. Harvey," said the Presi
dent, drawing a loag breath and look
ing at Mr. Harvey's short legs and strok
ing down his own, "lam thinking how
much longer my leg is than yours."
It is needless to say that the great soul
of -Harvey was shocked, not to say
stunned, by this remark. He arose and
went his way, and in the evening that
he arrvied in Boston, he was heard giv
ing his account of an interview with
the "boorish President."
There must be law'n order said the
judge, as he pushed his little mower.
COURTESY OF BANCROFT LIBRARY,
UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA,
To Bender tbe Liver Active
When that important secretive gland re
quires arousing, it is only requisite to resort to
Hostetter'a Stomach Bitters, the national rem
edy for inactivity of the biliou3 organ, for con
stipation, and for dyspepsia, besides those mal
arious disorders to which torpidity of the liver
predisposes a person. .Far more surely does
this celebrated anti-bilious cordial tccomplish a
curative result than mercurv or any other min
eral drug used to cure liver disorders. In fact,
such medicaments cannot fairly be called reme
dies, since, although they may have a temporary
effect, thev eventually fail to influence the sys
tem remediallr, but instead oiten uo it serious
injury. The Bitters, on the contrary, are a spe
cific of the most salutary nature, and are like
wise a reliable and agreeable tonic, appetizer
and nervine.
OPENING OF THE PAVILION.
A New and Important Exhibit.
AHWEHTOH I AHHUSTOH!
A WoMflerl'iil Miiteml nutl II I'sps.
examine the display of II. W. John's Patent
,ju)iv3 luaK-iuua, iiiuii iwruis nil l Lil !UJ in n l
feature of the present exhibition. Asbestos
is a wonderful mineral indesmtctible by Jive cr
flcidf, and differs from all other known mineral
snhstAncea
or flax, scime varieties of which can he npuu,
"TCU .m iviuxi, producing ciotu, reitea sheets,
Tift TVT thrAa.l frt A A
will withstand the hottest flame, and the mineral
jABrcbses reteraiouiervaiuauiepropert.es,
O . u.m1,bijiii a, IU1 JX
heat, and capable of receiving and retaining the
moot brilliant enlnrs. I'mlr II w .t.u'u
ent, Askkstos is utilized in combination with
otuer material in the manufacture of articles
for structural and mechanical purposes, and at
the Pavilion it ia exhibited in its crude state and
alio as manufactured into roofiujr, house and
rooi nreproot paints, pipe aud Itoilcr cover
ing, cement feltin, steam nackincr. Asrfs-
tos paper, board, etc. AbeMos Uoofiun. for
steep or Hat roofshas everywhere received the
endorsement of the most extensive builders,
manuiacturers and railroad comrmniiHc Tt
lorms a ngui, cool, handsome yet inexpensive
roof, which is air tight, practically lireproof
to paints are strictly reliable, first-class paints,
... , i mm perma
nency of color, beauty of finish, durability, and
Ttcrfcct nrntccHvn cni-prino 'I'lion :.u
' , ,. ....- aim wiui-
stand the aetian of salt water, atmosphere and
wmt.1 otitic irai.i mtr me iMt,i wnite lead lias
failed. In fact, tho remarkable rmnliHoa nf oil
ir it t... '. t " "
ing generally admitted, and we should sr-ggett
to capitalists, propsrty owners and fomulrvmen
. O ' " " J IJLVyU 111
that it would be money saved to adopt Abestos
materials whenever practicable. Messrs.
Thompson .t Upson- tv s Virat .i,,t
raciuc Coast Agents lor the above goods, to
Tho AREHTOa rrnnrU li i ro ti 1 ln.lil irv . 1 ..... .
----- - - - - n '- ""'Hint U U UUiI
at the right of the main entrance in the rear of
uiuuispiay oi saws.
IVruviaii Kjrup.
Bhooks, Me., Sept. 7, 1870.
Dear Sir From early youth I was ia feeble
health, troubled with humor in mv blood, weak
ness and debility of the svstem generally ; was
unable to labor much, and only at some light
business, aud then only with great caution.
Seven years ago, the past Spring, I had a se
vere attack of Diphtheria which left my limbs
paralyzed and useless, so I was unable to walk
or even sit up. Noticing the advertisement of
Teiiuvian Sybcp, I concluded to give it a trial,
and to my great joy soon found my health im
proving. I continued the use of the Syrup un
til t..rte bottles had been used, and was restored
to e .mplete health, and have remained so to
this day. I attribute my present health en
tirely to the use of Peruvian Syrup, and hold
it in high estimation. I cannot speak too highly
in its praise. I have in several eases recom
mended it in cases very similar to my own with
the same good results.
Yours truly, Ch.vki.es E. Pearcy.
From S. Tlialriirr, M. IK, of Ilermoii.
Sfw York.
"Wistau's Hai.sam of "vViLn Cherry gives
universal satisfaction. It seems to cure a couch
by loosening and cleansing the lungs, and allav
mg irritation, thus removing the cause, instead
of drying up the cough and leaving tho cause
behind. I consider the Balsam the br st cough
medicine with which I am acquainted." Sold
by all druggists.
A Chance for Everybody. Extraordinary
Cash Premiums offered for subscribers to the
Weekly Rescue $10 per dav can be mad".
Address Russell, Gibson A Co., 518 Clay st., S.F.
JM
PIERCE'S PATENT
AfAOSKTlC KL A STIC
i uu.-sm. i ma Kreat invars-
tifin in llfif iufiimiail hv fit a
. -- r ..-... . . w hi.: tr-nti-
InK Physicians uud Surareons all
over the lnnrt. -Ve would
rt?R?c!full.y CHiitiou the Public
anuuist certain fraudulent and
worthier imitations which are
...... in mr mm Ivri. JifWHrC n '
them. EJSKend for Illustrated Rook nnrt Prlcn l ist
MAGXETIC KLASTIV 11! CSS CO..
ttS-OOa aacramento St.. Up stairs, San Francisco.
I:IIOTO-Actresses, .v.; .Special subjects. 10c.
. each; Calalosue, Sc. N. I.. Wliitnev. pub. aud
Jealer, 67 Jackson street. Chicago, Illinois.
REVOLVER FREE
Seven-shot revolver.
with box cartritliTOH.
Address J. liowil Jk .-Son. 13fi and i: u'niuf
Pittsburg, Pr.
BUY A LAMB KNITTING MACHINE,
And mane (3 to t4 a day. Send for Circulars to J
J. PFISTKK CO., Gent-rat Agents, lao Svttkk
Stbkkt, Hoom -to. San Francisco.
FOR SALE OR LEASE.
ORMSBY HOUSE AND FURXITURE. CR
son City, Nev. This First-class Hotel will
be sold at a great bargain or leased fur a term of
years. Apply on the premises to OKO. 1). FRY KR,
or In San Francisco to I,f.o Y 1 TKV fs
TUF CFPPCT Adviser and Private Med"
I II U OLUflL I icalculue. Sufferers from
physical debility, iudiscretions and excesses, send
20c. to Or. John Cooper, P. o. Box 2,14s, Phlla.. get a
cony.cure yourself, aud save expense and exinwure.
N. F. BDRNHAM'S " 1874 "
WATER-WHEEL
I drrlsrrd the "J1TAS I. It I) Ti ll R I .;,.
by over persons who use it. frier redun-il.
New pamphlet, free. N. F. BURN HAM. York. Pa
OREGON STEAMSHIP COMPANY.
The Only Direct Line to Portland.
Citblit Pan-oasr. SI Steerage Inajre. 85
jftfrft- BRariAB HTKAnERMTO
T'ft leaving ban Francisco ev
ery HVK DAYS until further notice Steamships
City of Chester, George W.
Elder and Ajax,
Connectiug with Steamers to SITKA and l'UGKT
SOUND, and O. and C. H. R. Co. and Oregon and C.
R. R. Co. through Willamette, Umpiiua and Rogue
River Valleys, Oregon.
TICKKTS TO ALL POINTS ON THE O. and C. R.
R. SOLD AT KKDUCKD RATKS.
K. VAN OTERENPORP. Agent.
aiO Hattery street. San Francisco.
The Stearns Ranchos
'fllE CENTER OF LOS ANOKT.KS VALLEY,
1. lAtn Angeles County, Cal., 12 miles S. E. of Los
Angeles City, fronting nine miles on the ocean, em
bracing Anaheim. Westminster Colony, etc.; with
in the Artesian Well Ilelt, and having water near
the surface. Southern l'acitio 1 tail fad extends
through the Randrios to Anaheim. SOU Farms al
ready sold and improved; remainder for sale in sec
tions or fractions, by Alfred Robinson. Trustee, 342
Market Street, cor. Montgomery, San Franeisco;
or apply to William R. Olden, Anaheim, Cel., or to
Rev. Robert Strong, Westminster. Cal. Terms
one-quarter cash; balance, 1, 2 and 3 years: Interest
at 19 per cent., payable at eud of each year. Seud
for map and circulars.
FALKNER, BELL & G's
WOOI. AGEKTCY.
Office, ZO California St., SAN FRANCISCO.
Wool. Hide and Iel(a received and Sold on
Commis-lnn. S I OK AJ E, PACKING AND OR AD
1NO WAREHOUSE, Sixth and Towusend Streets.
Ktoek Ynrria. Bctchebtowv. South San Fran-
Za- JfiLMtto tbe iRje "nd "laugrhterlug of all
kinds of Live Stock, on Commission. Hay. W ater
and Corrals at moderate charges. Fairbanks Cat
tle Scales ou the premises. . seal
Consignments will receive prompt attention and
will be taken charge of at depot, on arrival.
'-.... M
MP
Baja California
DAM I AN A BITTERS
w
a
Great Regulator!
Restorer I
and Laxative !
I'oMilive Cure lor Diseases or the Kid
neys nnl Rlaiirier.
Depot : 12 Montgomery Avenue,
San- Fkancwco, Cat..
COLLATERAL LOAN
AND
SAVINGS BANK,
940 MARKET STREET,
(Itnlitw Iji"h ISuiltiiusr), Sau Francisco.
91. J. UOXOVAV,
F. K. HANK,
M. M. niHTOV.
I'realdenl
Vlcc-IrealUcnt
.trllne Serre(ar.
i'lRKfTOR" :
J. I PHELAN. F. 13. KAXE.
JNO. C. ROBERTS, M. J. DONOVAN,
W. T. WF.SZKLU R. A. ROBINSON.
Deposits received in fJoldT Silver and Cunency,
and interest allowed on same. No charge for Bank
books. Remittances received through W'vlls, Far
go A Co. or roctal Orders. Deposits received mui
Ject to ciieck. Money to Ixwtn In large or small
sums on Real or Personal Property.
Subscriptions for the Stock of this Unuk will be
received until further nolioe, at the rate of 10 per
share.
G JS larket Street, Nan Francisco.
F. A. RUrilERFOKD.
W. McMAHll.V O'BRIEN.
TJIOS. V. O'HKIEN,
Pkksidknt
I'AHHIKK
ATTOKNKY
Incorporated in IMiO. 12,333 Iepoaltora.
Term Xopoaits
lO Per Cent l'er Annum.
Deposits rf ceived In gold, sliver or currency, and
In sums of ten cents and upwards.
Deposits may be made by mail or through Wells,
Fargo A Co., when Bank Book or Certificate of lt
posit will be returned free of charge.
Dividend Notice.
SAVINGS AND LOAN SOCIETY,
6ID IXAY KTI2EET, S.tX Kit CISCO.
VT A MEETING- OF THE BOARD OF DIREC
tors held July 11. 1877, a dividend, free of Fede
ral tux. of eight (rt) per cent per annum on ail de
posits was declared, for the six months ending June
:tf, 1:7. Dividend pava'le on and after Juiy 16
1 CYRUS W. CARMANV. Cashier.
ON FIRST CLASS FARMING LANDS. IN
large funis, at low rates. Lands boueht and
s.ild. Parties having money to loan can always find
good securities, bv applying to
w.n. i.KKtixGni:i.i
No. 13 Stevenson's Building, S. W. Cor. Montgom
ery and California streets. San Francisco.
San Francisco, May 30, 1S7T.
H'f, I lie iinIeriifrned Wlioleaalc iro
eer. take plruturr In remarking the in
creaacd demand for Bowen'a Premium
Veant Poadrr, and of testifying to tbe
Keneral alifnrliuu siren by tbis brand :
San FnANCisco WELLMAN. PECK 1- CO.,
ROOT k SANDERSON".
LEDDEN, WHIPPLE & CO..
HAAS BROS..
TABER HARKER k CO..
J. M. PIKE & CO..
J. A. FOLGER k CO..
NEWTON BROS. & CO.,
CASTLE BROS..
KRUSE & EULER,
JONES ft CO.,
31. EHRMAS & CO..
F. DANERI & CO..
M. & C. MANGELS.
TILLMAN & BENDEL,
ALBERT MAU & CO.,
W. W. DODGE k CO.
Sacramento ADAMS. McXEILL & CO..
MEBICS k CO.,
BOOTH CO.,
MILLIKEN BROS.
Ask your Grocer for
-AVIEIISr.,
see that you get
-AVIE IsTJl,
Ar.ii do not1e deceived with that which is not
BUSINESS
COLLEGE,
320 Post Street,
sa raAxcisto.
OPPOSITE UNION SQUARE, SAN FRANCIS
CO. The oldest and most complete Commercial
College on the coast. Elegant halls; new furniture:
thorough instruction; practical teachers: high stand
ing with the public. Students can commence at any
time. Day and Evening sessions. Circulars may
be had free on application.
International Hotel,
824 and S26 KEARNY ST.,
SAN FRANCISCO, CAL.
1.30 and 82.0 Per Iay, aud len l,y
tue Hi-Kk.
Gtif 9te to the Hotel Free. Beware of other Coaches
nti rtnnnprt.
EL C. PATRIDGE,
Proprietor
AMERICAN EXCHANGE HOTEL,
NAN FKANt'lSVO. .
rilHIS OLD AND POPULAR IIOTEl WHICTt
J. has for the last twenty-four years extended to
the traveling public a cordial welcome and comfort
of a home, and bo favorably known to old Califor
nlaus and the traveling public, that it requires no
comment on my part further than to say that Titos.
Bryan, who is an old Californian.and knows how to
cater to the wants of the traveling public, has taken
the full proprietorship of the above hotel, and will
leave nothing undone to make thU hotel second to
none in San Francisco for
Comfort. Good Living and CleanlineM.
My sole aim shall be to the comfort and welfare of
my guests The table is furnished with the best the
market affords; the house has been thoroughly ren
ovated and newly furnished throughout; two hui
dred rooms well ventilated.
Gentlemanly and obliging clerks, and clean and at.
thlclifi, ta ' m centrally located of anv In
i. .Lt.bi,.'?',LthecPntre ' tlie business portion
of the city; the Street Cars pass the door every two
minutes to all parts f the city. The Hotel Cach
5trfT.eIiKhti, wl" be at th railed depoMd
wrtiarfs to convey passengers Ut the housefree of
charge; my Runners wear Silver Badges oJTleR
breast with the name of the house om
'I"ar' "f other Kimnert. Hotel Prices it
from !. to a.oo per Day. Give me a ca'l ml
lodge for yourselves, TTIJI. BK Y AN.
at Phopriftoh.
Roots and Shoes.
JOHM SCI.I.IVAN, N. E. cor Bat
tery and Jackson Sts., San Francisco,
offers to make to order the best French
Ca f Leather BOOTS at from (8 to 9 00
California Leather Boots, . - - 6 CO
French Calf Oxford Ties, . . U 00
f Mtllmpnla
Rnv' unit CKIIH,.,,'. Di. j cv " . . ? 80
0"- uvn iiiu snueg mane O OWM.
t hi80"' in .thf ??untJ"y orderin Boots and Shoes to
the amount of 12 or more will b allowed a reduc
Uon of four percent, to make the express charge
SEXl) JFOK THE
DESCRIPTIVE CIRCUIiAR
or
PREMIUMS GIVEN FREE
BY THE SAX FIIAXC'IKCO
Weekly Ctoronicle !
A CHANCE FOR EVERYBODY !
Bytf-There Ls no limit to the number of Prizes a-y one person may receive. Nothing more i, retired
than to get up the different Clubs specified in the list, and the ENTIRE LIST OF PRIZES will be for
warded to them.
3S,000 -iSk. "'STIES .,L3R.
Can be made In this manner, aa the Prizes can be readily sold by the winners, and every rti;Ie offcrd
as a Present or Premium will be new and fresh from the manufacturers, selected with c ire and guaro
teed by them and the Publishers of the CHRONICLE. We also give Prizss in ODLD CO I S, Id lieu 01
the valuable Premiums. B?Ulrtleular aud t irculnrjt Free. Send Ynnr Adilrrw.
THE COMMERCIAL HOTEL, SAN . FRANCISCO,
Twentv-six teabs ago a native of BrooL'yn, New York, inaugurate d a lmtcl in tlii- city. It
was opened in June, 1851, and, with filial devotion to the city of his nativity, 3fr. John KtlJy, Jr..
tlie gentleman in question, christened it tho "Drooklyn." Time brings changts and wnittinio
pleasant ones. It is therefore a matter of congratulation to le able ti aanotmce that ilr. l,k.
Kelly has advanced with the times, and uovid from the scene of his farrmr labors into that para
gon of modern hostcliies, "The Commercial Hotel." This new building, which has come ims
existence simultantonsly with the birth of Montgomery Avenue, is the most perfectly smigri
hotel in the city. Everything which the American mind connects with the idea of "comfort is
there. The silent elevator, the softly carpeted halls, the fountain in one of the rotundas, the pri
vate laundry, barber's shop, billiard rooms, and perfectly ventilated parlois are all there. Iht
electric bell is to be found throughout the house, and there is not a dark room hi the whole estub
lishment. An irregular space, almost a pentagon in form, has been left vacant in the center o!
the building, so that the most modest visitor and the wealthiest tenant have their qual share o!
God's free light and air. The cost of living at the Commercial is a new era in California hold
life. For two dollars a day the guest is as well accommodated as he could be at any firt-cliM
house for double the money, and the richness of the furniture challenges competition with &u
caravansary between New York and San Francisco. It is not necessary to describe the tudk
variety of reps and silks with which the hotel is upholstered, or to dilate on the richness of u
highly carved black walnut bureaus, bedsteads, mirrors and buffets. The building aud furni
ture cost over ?3(X),003. and the utmost good taste is united to this lavish expenditure. TLt
dining room is about 90x40 feet, and is lit by nine chandeliers and numerous side lights. TL
parlor is magnificently carpeted and ablaze with cut-glass chandeliers, trembling with legions ot
diamond-hued pendants. There are 175 rooms in the house, any one of which is fit for the
gentleman in the land. Circular rotundas, surrounded by a carved balustrade, keep the vena
tion of the lofty halls perfect, whilst they add to tho light and cheerfulness of the various etao.
The range in the Kitchen cost $2,700, and is capable of ro iding a banquet for 500 persrns. ll
gant statues occupy the niches in the main stair-case, and gas pedestals are plactd in the ceMrt
of the lower floor directly tinder the rotunda. The carpeting rf the hotel is the richest probaUj
in the city, and there is an air of comfort about the Commercial Hotel which can be better iJi
than defined. It only needed to be known that " Kelly of the Brooklyn " was running the net
hotel to insure its immediate prosperity. It fills a bill in this city long desired, but as yet neve
accomplished. Under the management of Mr. John Kelly, Jr., the Commercial affords a palatt
home lor men of moderate means who seek the comforts of a first-class establishment unaih.a
with the mammoth charges of first-class houses.
THE
MEEICAff
SEWING MACHINE.
Tlirce-jiiirter ! Krietioii tlian any
tlicr Mitcliine.
IT BEATS THEM ALL!
Keir - Threading
Shuttle!
Self- Threntliiijr
Needle I
I.iShteKt
It u n u i li
Ktilleot
Knnnine
Mi m It lent !
B-Tl;i machine
is fast becoming
known as the
BEST in the WOIXjI!
See It ! Try It ! Buy It !
WabsXntkd to (Iivk KNTIRK SATISFACTION.
AMERICAN SEWING MACHINE CO
ti. It. MOOD, Jlnnngrr,
14 FIFTH STHKhT, - - - SSA.N FRANCISCO.
c CJooil Agenli Wanted In all unoccu
pied Territory.
BARNARD'S ?
8AN FRANCISCO, CAT...
OFFERS the best facilities f.r a first class Rusi
nefts Kducation. Yon may attend two days free
of charge to see how vou like it. No more students
are admitted than Professor Barnard can personally
Instruct. Kach student receives personal instruc
tion. Over one hundred references to graduates in
iS&n Francisco.
A ITER YOU HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING
J.X. In vain, USE
int. s.v i,i-u xirs
RejuvenatoR
And a Ihorooth, Speedy and Permanent
rare will be yonr Reward.
It is the only great remedy, immediate relief, and
positive cure for Weaknrxit peruliar to men such as
Nervous, Mental and Physical Debility, Premature
Decline, and Broken-down Constitution, from what
ever cause. It vill restore Exhausted lltalitv and
Manhood when all other remedies hare failed, it will
fmrify the blood and supply it with the necessary
lfe-givlnij principle, and thereby eradicate all mor
bid eruptions of the skin. It is an immediate relief
and sure cure for all KIDNEY AND BLADDER
COMPLAINTS.
Price, (2 50 per bottle, or Ove bottles in case (which
In mostevery instance haseffected a complete cure)
for flu 00 Hent to any address upon receipt of
price, or C. O. 1). Procurable only direct of DR.
NALFIELD, at Kearny Street, San Francisco,
Cal , where you should call or address your letters.
AM communications strictly confidential.
Ufkick Hours : 9 a. m. till 4 P. M. and 6 till 8 p.
jf. (Sundays from 10 till 1 only. Consultation by
letter or personally Free.
BPKC1ALTT
REMOVAL.
J. rAi7tjii, yi.
I k . tiMA rpmnrod
tflfiai ff'likrKli.Ml Tkiu-
eaaes of the Kyk and Kab
receive especial attention.
Medical and Surtrirat treatt
nient given In all diseases.
1 uch experience In Throat
and Lung diseases. Electro-
.. .... ? " ' viiiii i n rimy ttif-
rlnary diseases much utter 'ion is given. May he
consulted by letter. Address W. J. PA fail, M. D.,
Kll Clay Street, San Francisco, (over Clav streei
Havings Bank), Rooms 1. 2 and 3.
IR. COHEN.
JPij-Oq A J. D SEE or write to Dr. Cohen, the
Tr only living Astrologer. He has practised
eighteen years in San Francisco; be can tell cor
rectly the past, present and future ; gives reliable
information and advice, of benefit to those consult
ing him. Consultation Fee, ?1 by letter 3. n.!t
.iU'.t.,"'cr,,,Kry Flve tne "e- t9-Dr. Cohen's
a iwHiuve cure ior liver and kidney
complaints. Impurity of the blood, nervous debility,
heart disease, rheumatism, catarrh, lung diseases.
fever, diseases of the atnmooh I..
Chaiges very moderate. Medicine will be sent to
parwoi ine coast. Oftioe, No. 405 Kearny St
comer ot Pine, ISan Fraiiclnco.
TO Tllfc
NERVOUS ilOlIUTATED
DR. STEIMIAUT'8
ESSENCE OF LIFE
CURES NERVOUS AND PHYSICAL DKBIL
ity, and restores exhausted vitality in tour
weeks as sure as water quenches thirst. Price $3
Ser Bottle, or 4 Bottles (in case) 110. Sent to any ad
ress upon receipt of price, or C O. D.
To be had only at 4S Kearny St., San Francisco
Gal., where alt letters should be addressed. Office
Hours from 9 a. at. to 4 r. H., and 6 to 8 P. at-
IX-X-USTItATEB
V
THE
O
Um SEWING lAdffi
41
1HAOC MARK
Has all tlie Uootl Points:
Superior Mechanism. !
?I a tcli I ess Nlmitlo!
I'neqiialeil IVorkiuff CaparlO'
SADLER & BARROWS. General Agents.
1412 Maiikkt Sthkkt, San Francisco,
ami 4GS Twelfth Street, Oakland.
Pacific; Const Asrents for the Celebrated FjcreWor
CoM Swaged Sewing Machine Needles, and Job
bers of Oil, I bread, Silk, and all kinds of Attmcl
ments.
Itter-PreHs and Lithographic
BLANK BOOK M A N U F A C T U R F. R S;
Printing Office and Book Riudery,
i
LcidcfidorfTKi., from Clay to roinmrreUI.
SAN FRANCISCO.
GRAND REDUCTION IN PRICE
-31. SHOUT,
Having Just received a Large Invoice of
WEST OF ENGLAND GOODS,
Therefore informs his pairons that be will njk
CLOTHING TO ORDER at the Lowest CASH
PRICK for the next Sixty Days:
Business Suits to Order, - 525
Pants to Order, - - - SB
Dress Suits to Order $35 to $50
Commercial St., cor. Lieidesdorff,
AND
No. G X5:o.XTa.y Street,
SAN FRANCISCO.
TTL . SS I IISTiV iiv
Xo. 11 KF.ARXY STREET.
rpREATS ALL CHRONIC AND SP3CIAL W"
-I- eases.
MIDDLE-AGED MEN.
There are manv of the aire of thirty to
are troubled with too frequent evaluation ".
bladder, often accompanied by a slight smartint
burning sensation, and a weakening of the s'lI.
in a manner the patient cannot acoounlfor. U" ,
amlninir the urinary deposits a ropv sed 'in'
often be found, and sometimes small particles' '
bumen will appear, or the color be of a Win ' .
milkisli hue, aitain changing to a dark and ton
appearance. There are many men who die j
dllHcult v ignorant of the cause, which is tne ser
stage of' seminal weakness. Dr. Spinney
ant.ee a perfect cure in all such cases, and a '
restoration fif the g-nito-urinary organs. lt
OIHce Honrs 10 to s and 6 to 8. Sundays from
to 11 A. M. Consultation fret . ....
Call or address DR. A. R. SPINN t .
No. 11 Kearny Street, San Franciso-
sr CALVERT'S
CARBOLIC I
Sheep Wash.?!
IHPORTAXT TO
S
t "V
i
I
1