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DEVOTED TO NEWS, LITERATURE, AND THE BEST INTERESTS OF OREGON.
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VOL. 10.
OREGON CITY, OEEGON, FRIDAY, MAY 12, 1876.
NO. 29
-s nils
if" llff Mi frnTY fiff if " 5tf
i ii i
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O K
THE ENTERPRISE.
A LOCAL NEWSPAPER
FOR T n K
Farmer, Easiness Man, k Family Circle.
ISSUED EVERY FRIDAY.
TRANK S. DEMENT,
TBOPEIFTOR AND PUBLISHES.
o
OWICIAL PAPZB
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OFFTCE In Enterprisk Building, one
or
gouth of Masonic iiiinuiij,
Tnm
of Subscription t
Pnnr One Year. In Advance $2.50
Six Months
1.60
Term of Advertising!
Transient advertisements. Including
l notices. s square of t welve
$ 2.50
1.00
linns one ween
Fr each subsequent insertion...
o Column, one
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Card. 1 square, one year
SOCIETY NOTICES.
12.00
ourcox r.onfiR no. 3, 1. 1. o. v.,
Meets everv Thursday gga
ereninjat7 4 o'clock, in the $pZ$&& t
Odd Fellows' Hall, Mam 'Hsf
m t roof f emlers of the Or
der are invited to attend. Py order
N..
cki;iu:cca iiiuattiCLonaii: so.
2. I. O. 0. 1, Meets on the
Second and Fourth Tues
dav ovenings each month.
at 7l4 clock, in tne oia
Fellows' Hall. Members of the Der
are invited to attend.
ree
MIII.TXOMAII LOIKJH XO. l.A.F,
A A. M.. Holds its regular com
r com- &
X and "O
...nth, V
munications on the rirst
Third Saturdays in each in
t 7 o'clock from the '20th of Sen
tember to the 'Mth of March; and 7'i
'clock from the 20th of March to the
20th of September. Brethren in good
standing are invited to attend.
Bv order of W. M.
FALLS I1NCAMPMRNT XO.4,1.0.
O.V., Meets at Odd Fellows'
Hall on the First and Third Tues
iith. Patriarclis
inood standing arc invited to attend.
JIUSIXliSS CARDS.
X. J. HOVER, M. D.
J. W. NORKIS, M. n
IIOVKR So NOIH1IS,
PHYSICIANS AND NUIIGKO.NS,
sVOflice Up-Ktairs in Charinan'ti Hrick,
Mnin Street.
Dr. Hover's residence Third street, at
foot of cliff stairway. tf
II. W. ROSS, M. n. WAKUEX N. DAVIS, M. D.
ItOSS So DAVIS,
III YSICl VXS A n S V It ti K O N s
Oregon City, - - Oregon.
e7-tni.? at the City Dispensary, corner
of Main and Fourth sts.
Dr. l:iviH is a graduate of the. University
of lViuK.vlvania, and has lately arrived
from t lie East.
Particular attention civen to surgery.
Oflice. hours lrom S o'clock a. i. to " p. m.
DR. .TOIIIsT WELCH
DENTIST,
OFFICE IM
OREGON CITY, OHEGOX
Prlt-B PalJ f jr County
Orders.
HUELAT & SASTHAM,
ATTO RNE YS-AT-LA W-
PORTLXD Iu Opitz's new brick, 30
First streot.
OREGON CITY Char man's brick, up
tair! gept24tf
JOHNSON Gl WcCOW?
1TT0R?(EYS AND COCXSELORS AT-LAW.
Oregon City, Oregon.
yVill practice in all the Courts of the
tat. Special attention given to cases in
the U. 8. Land Offlce at Oregon City.
5aprlS72-tf.
3 L. T. 13 A Ti I N"
ATTORNEY-AT-LAW,
OREGON CITY, : : OREGON.
practice in all
the Courts of the
Nov. 1, laTo, tf
State.
JAMES 13. UPTON,
Attornev-at-Law,
Oregon City.
Not. 6, lSC5Af
JOHN M. UACON,
IMPOUTEU AND DKATEK
In Books. Stationery, Perfum
ery, etc., etc.
Oregon City, Oregon
irvAtthe Tost
side, o
Offlce, Main stgeet, east
W. II. HltiHFIELD.
Established since '49.
One door north of Pope'i Hall.
Main Street, Oregon City, Oregon.
An assortment of Watches. Jewel
ry.and Seth Thomas Weight Clocks
. all ot wnicn are warranted to be as
represented.
tr"Bepairins done on short notica, and
thankful for past patronage.
Cash paid for County Orders.
MILLER, MARSHALL &C0.,
rAT THE HIGHEST TRICE FQU
X WHEAT, at all times, at the
Oregon City Mills,
4 r Vi i" Vt An1
FEED and
to sell, at market rates. Parties desiring
Feed, must furnish sacks. novl2tf
GIT AS. msriGrirr,
CAN BY, OREGON,
PHYSICIAN AND DRUGGIST
Prescriptions
notice.
carefully filled
at shor
ja7 If.
-.fe; W
A STRAY CURL.
It hung o'er her shoulders divinely,
A curl of magnificent cold :
I thought, as it lay there supinel
or tresses ttiat uerman girls
I envied the curl so reposing,
Like sunshine or ambient iearl.
But while I was dreamily dozing,
It fell with a quivering whirl
And ah 1 my dream was then ended
It lav there aghast on the lloor,
While its owner in ignorance wended,
'Mid silence her steps to the doorl
Aii Interloper.
"The big boss," as the old apple
woman calls him, stopped a moment
as he passed through our offlce.
Everybody was wondrously industri
ous at that moment.
"A young woman will take the
place left vacant in this establish
ment by the death of Edwards," he
said, in his usjial abrupt manner, at
the same time looking at nothing
and seeing everything. "She will
be here to-morrow, and I've no doubt
will perform the duties required of
her in a satisfactory manner. Good-
afternoon."
v e loosed at each other in sur
prise, and Thrall just stopped him
self on the verge of a whistle, and
coughed instead: but not a word did
we say until we were sure that our
head had reached the street, for the
ears pertaining to our head are ex
ceedingly sharp.
Then burst forth a torrent of words.
"A girl! what a nuisance!" said
Smith.
"Alas! my melodious voice is si
lenced forever," said Thrall, who was
great in opera burlesque, at the same
time with atnronriate gestures of
despair bursting into "Infelice."
"What possessed Lawrence? Such
an old fogv as he is, too. I can't
understand it at all," said Marlowe
"Gat her at half the salary he paid
id wards, drawled Jule Oerard. a
vouiiff fellow disliked bv most of us
for his uppish airs, and chaffed tin
mercifully behind lus bade lor his
immense belief in himself and the
Gerard family.
And dear at that price, in my
opinion. A cint oi a gin, smart ai
her sums; gold medal for mathemat
ics at "NVhat's-its-narae Institute, and
consequently highly eligible for any
position anvwhere," said Thrali.
iliuging his hat across the room, and )
singing some ridiculous words of his
own to an air lrom oomnamuuia.
Do bo quiet a moment, Thrall,"
I interrupted; but he never heeded
me, but went on until the very last
note was reached, and then politely
requested me to proceed.
".Lawrence didn t say a girl; he
said a young woman, and that may
mean anything in pull-backs from
sixteen to sixty. Anyhow, as Smith
says, she'll be a nuisance. Why don't
she sculp, or paint, or draw, or en
grave, or something of that sort, all
undisturbed in the privacy of her
own dear little studio? Or, better
yet, why don't she marry somebody?"
"Marry her yourself, Dickson, and
prove a benefactor to mankind in
general and your fellow-clerks in
particular," suggested Smith.
"Oh! I say!" drawled Gerard; "life
is too short to bo wasted talking
about a woman. Let's go round and
get some beer" (he called it be-ah) ,
"and drink death to all interlopers."
We went.
I am Dickson, the young man who
was kindly advised to marry the girl
book-keeper, a propositi from which
I shrank, having a horror of women
who usurped, as a thought, the posi
tions and privileges of the sterner
sex.
However, I will admit I had a fair
share of curiosity about the new
comer, and so no doubt had my
companions, always excepting Jule
Gerard, who was too selfish and
indolent to feel the slightest interest
in anything or anybody. And the
next morning, when a young woman
pushed open the swing door, walked
quickly up to me, I being nearest
the door, and said to me in a low,
shy voice (I like low, shy voices),
"Will you please show me where my
desk is?" I am conscious I regarded
her with a look more keen than po
lite. The blood rose to her cheek, and
she returned my look not boldly,
but unflinchingly.
"Certainly," said I, and escorted
her to her seat, catching a fearful
grimace from Thrall as I passed.
The girl (for she was a girl, about
eighteen, I should think) was, in my
opinion an opinion shared by all
my fellow-clerks, as I found before
the day was over, not at all pretty,
not even good-looking.
She was tall and thin; had large
sunken gray eyes, a wido brow, left
bare by the plain arrangement of her
hair, which was all drawn away from
it and carelessly twined in alipaw
coil at the back of her head, rather
ugly nose, and rather pretty mouth.
She blushed nicely, the delicate
crimson just tingeing her pale cheeks
and touching her chin; and she had
beautiful hands, with long taper fin
gersI noticed them when she began
to write and her name, as I after
ward discovered, was Stella Starsun.
Miss Starsun proved so quiet and
mouse-like that after a few days we
almost forgot her presence, and chaff
ed, laughed, and sung, when the cat
was away, almost as much as ever
One thing wj all noticed Miss
btarsun never went out at lunch-time.
She nibbled away at something for
about five minutes, drank a glass of
water, and then taking a book from
her sachel, read or studied until
time for work again.
"Fellqws," said Smith, one day,
after she had gone, "I've found out
what Miss Starsun lunches on "
"Pickles," said Thrall.
"Candy," drawled Gerard.
"Two crackers," said Smith; "nei
ther more nor less. I've watched
her for a week through a little peep
hole I've . made in my screen and
that's all, 'pon honor!" '
'Poor thing," said I. "th
fare." J
"Not so bad," drawled Jnle?"
unfortunate people haven't two.
crackers."
'Good heavens! what a tnrtmA
you are, Gerard," said Thrall.
"la-as, said Jule.
The next day I noticed on Miss
Starsun's desk a pretty basket of
strawberries, inwreathed with bright
green leaves. She looked at it in
evident wonder for a moment when
she entered, and then set it aside;
but I was glad to see that at lunch
time she ate the strawberries with her
crackers, taking what the gods ap
parently had sent her, in her usual
quiet manner, without question.
After that, every day throughout
the summer, some fruit-qffering was
laid on Miss Starsun's desk; placed
there by order of old Lawrence, we
all decided, whose poor relation we
had long ago made up our minds the
gin muse oe.
Gradually we became quite inter
ested in the interloper she was so
patient, so thoroughly womanly and
modest in all her ways, and worked
so conscientiously and well.
"Only inconvenient to have around,"
Thrall said, "when a fellow feels as
though he must swear or burst.
And if she had only been pretty, half
a dozen of us would have been in
love with her, as I said to Elizabeth
W ayiand, authoress, who had come
in to see the editor of one of our
numerous publications, and he being
out, stopped a moment to chat with
me. J3y-the-bye, those who say all
women writers are ugly, should see
Elizabeth Way land. It is a pleasure
to look at her bright, attractive face,
and such a delicious, charming,
harmless flirt as she is!
" 'Pretty,' Mr. Dickson," said she;
"where are your eyes?
"Where they always are when you
are present, 1 replied.
"Take them away immediately and
look at that girl. Nice head, nice
broad brow, nice brown hair, sweet
gray eyes, long dark lashes, pretty
little mouth, characteristic nose
" 'Nice' way of saying ugly," inter
rupted I.
"And altogether," continued Eliz
abeth ayiand, "a refined, lovely
face."
And so it was.
She had been with us three months
now, and her cheeks had filled out
and were tinged with a faint pink
hue, her eyes no longer looked sunk
en, her brow was shaded by some
pretty tendril-like curls, and a happy
smile lingered about her lips.
"Well, stunid?" said Elizabeth
Way land.
"l'es ma'am," said I.
And from that day I began to fall
in love with Miss Starsun. I helped
all I could with her work, which was
not much, as she understood her
business almost as well as I did. I
bored the fellows in the other pub
lishing houses, for all their new books,
that I might lend them to her. Now
and then I left a little boquet on her
desk, and at last I got to exchanging
a dozen or so sentences a. day with
her.
She had a sweet low voice, as I
have said before, and a pretty way.
which I have not said before, of
glancing up at yqu from under her
long dark lashes, which, liked me
much.
Well, the long and short o,I it was
that Miss Starsun had been my fel
low-clerk only four months when I
was desperately in love with her, and
only waited a favorable opportunitj-
to tell her so.
It came. Some of our fellows wero
on their summer vacation; the rest
had been summoned to the room of
the chief. I would be alone with
Miss Starsun for an hour.
I approached her desk, my heart
beating violently, and leaned over
her. She laid down her pen and
looked wonderingly up in my face.
"Miss Starsun dear Miss Star
sun," I stammered, "you h ive a wo
man s tact an tuition; vou cannot
have failed to see that I "
nave ceaseti to regard you as a
'nuisance,' " drawled Jule Gerard,
who had silently approached from
behind and secured the taper fingers
I was about to clasp, "and , Stella,
my love, as an interloper. And now
put on your hat, say good-bye to
Dickson, and invite him, if you
cnoose, to can upon us wnen we
return from our wedding tour-Ta-ta,
old boy!"
Chinese Proverbs about Women.
The Chinese are a people of many
proverbs, some of which are extreme
ly acute and neatly turned. "He
who finds pleasure in vice and pain
in virtue is a novice in both," would
be accepted by the wise of most ad
vanced countries as warranted by ex
perience. But mark the providential
philosophy of the Chinese with re
gard to women: 'jisten to your
wife, but don't believe her." "To
cultivate virtue is the science of men;
to renounce science is the virtue of
women." "The happiest mother of
daughters is she who has sons only."
"If one is not deaf or stupid, what a
position is that of a father-in-law?"
"If with a wife and daughter-in-law,
daughters and nieces, one ought to
be a tiger in order to hold oat." "The
minds of women are of quicksilver
and their hearts are of wax." "The
most curious women willingly cast
down their eyes to be looked at.
"The tongues of women increases by
all they take from their feet." "When
men are together they listen to one
another, but women and girls look
at one another." "The most timid
girl has courage enough to talk scan
dal. Harper s Magazine.
Paddy's description of a fiddle can
not be beaten: it is the snape oi a
turkey, and the size of a goose. He
turned it over on its belly and och,
by St. Patrick, how it did squale
CONGRESSIONAL.
SENATE.
Washington, May 3. After re
ports from various committees, Mor
ton ftrqse to a personal explanation,
he had read an article recently pub-
At .- -vr i. ir...i i
lisueci in ine iew ium trvnu, m re
gard to two hundred and fifty thou
sand dplla-S received from the Gov
ernment, and expended by him in
organizing the Indiana troops, and
said in the spring of 1863, the Presi
dent of the United States advanced
to him 250,000 to enable him to
carry forward the military operations
in that State, of which amount be
expended 133,302 91, and the bal
ance, llG,b'J7 IW, was returned to
the Treasury. He had read a letter
from the Secretary of the Treasury,
dated April 11, 18G5, acknowledging
ihe receipt of the money. He then
spoke of ' the elections in Indiana in
JbG2, when the Democrats carried
the State by 10,000 majority, and
said they attempted to take from
him all power to organize the mili
tary and take Indiana out of the line
of loj'al States. There was plenty of
money in the State treasury to enable
them to carry out the operations, but
it was locked against him. He made
an appeal to the people of Indiana,
and various county banks and cor
porations advanced him money, but
he was still 250,000 short, which
amount was advanced to him by the
General Government. A joint com
mittee of the Legislature, composed
of some of the most prominent Dem
ocrats, examined his accounts and
reported they were correct to a cent,
including all expenditures of the
amount received from the General
Government.
At the conclusion of Morton's ex
planation, McDonald, of Indiana,
said, at some future time he would
have something to say in regard to
the political history of the State of
Indiana. He had nothing to say
about his colleague's vindication of
his own character.
Anthony spoke in condemnation of
the course of Morton when Governor
of Indiana, and condemned the in
vestigation now being made. He
stated that the witnesses were dis
charged employes, broken down con
tractors, illicit distillers and disap
pointed office-seekers. The peniten
tiary and the mad house had given
up their dead in this general resur
rection of false swearing and perjury.
Cameron also approved the course
of Morton when Governor of Indiana,
and said no man did more to give
victory to our arms than he. The
Senate then resumed the bill in rela
tion to the Japanese indemnity fund.
Kelly, of Oregon, from the com
mittee on public lands, reported fa
vorably on the bill to create an addi
tional land district in the territory of
Idaho; placed on the calendar. Also
favorably on the House bill to adjust
the claims of the owners of lands
within the limits Klamath reserva
tion, Oregon; placed on the calendar.
Also favorabl' on the House bill to
amend section 2,291 of the revised
statutes of the United States in re
gard to proof of residence upon pub
lio lands, tc. ; placed on the calendar.
After some debate bargent s motion
to strike out the first section was
rejected 24 against 29. Adjourned
without further action.
HOUSE.
May 3. Blaine introduced a bill
to utilize the product of gold and sil
ver mines; referred.
Wiggirton introduced a bill relat
ing to he indemnity of school sec
tions in California; referred.
Manure Versus Weeds.
It is commonly observed that the
first effect of large quantities of
barnyard manure is to make the
weeds grow more vigorously. This
is partly because the manure is usually
filled wit!weed seeds, and also because
the increase in fertility encourages
seeds to sprout which, with poorer
soil, would have remained dormant
The light, warm and rich soil will
sprout weed seeds to a greater depth
than that which is heavy, cold and
poor.
On the other hand, where grain
crops are sown, multitudes of these
weeds are smothered and destroyed
by the stronger growth of the grains.
Almost all annualy weeds start from
seeds as tiny and ns feeble as turnip
or onions, ana the hrst appearance
of the weed is most insignificant. On
the other hand, wheat, corn, oats
and barley have a grain of considera
ble substance, and the blade and
root are correspondingly vigorous,
not only outgrowing the weed, but
enabling the farmer to cultivate his
sown or drilled crops with little in
jury to the grain but complete de
struction to the weeds. A light drag
passed over drilled oats or barlev,
just as the grain is well up, will
hardly disturb a single spear, but
will bary and uproot millions of tiny
weeds. In this way a held may be
kept clean, and, where spring grain
is to be followed by wheat, the la
bor of fitting the stubble is much
lessened. Rural New Yorker.
It now appears that the true rear:
son why London has not yet a con
stant water supply, and is conse:
nuentlv in dancer of calamitous con
flagrations, is that forty members of
Parliament are large share-holders in
the monopolizing London water com
panies. A bill for increasing the
water facilities has lain on the table
of the Houso of Commons for two
sessions, and bids fair to lie there
for an indefinite period.
A rait of acient armor recently un
earthed in Rome proves beyond a
dpuht that the Romans used to feel
the need of protecting that portion
of the body most exposed when a
warrior leaves the fight and starts
far home.
The Face a Mirror.
What a mirror of the heart the
face isl Unconsciously perhaps, we
are each day moulding our features
either in the line of beauty or scar
ring them with evil passions that
make them repulsive. Every action,
every passion, even our secret
thoughts, leave an indelible impress
there. It is true, we may for a time
smother some great or secret emotion
but onr faces will eventually betray
us and show to the world what we
would so carefully conceal. We may
not overcome natural defects in our
features, but there is a beauty of
soul that makes us forget these im
perfections and see only loveliness
that shines forth from those windows
of the soul, the eyes; a loveliness and
goodness that have power to chisel
and refine the coarsests of faces.
As we traverse the crowded city
streets, how many faces we see, and
what a field are they for the student
of human nature! Here is tho man
of business, prematurely gray, with
lines of care on his brow and a weary
look that tells of the hurry and drive
that is killing him in the race for
cold, lie hastens by. and we see a
beautiful face, with eyes as blue as
the sky above, framed with masses
of golden hair. The blue eyes have
a sad look that speaks of a life of sin
and sorrow. The haughty woman of
fashion gathers up her draperies as
if her veay touch was contaminated,
and with a look of scorn on her proud
face, goes grandly by. We see the
street Arab perchance with papers
under his arm or box in hand, troll
ing some street ditty or soliciting
customers. His appearance tells a
sad story of early neglect, of life in
the streets, of kicks, cuffs and curses
of the multitude. Here is the hag
gard face of dissipation and crime.
Pleasant smiling faces, and faces
were sorrow and suffering have left
their mark. We here may read life
histories as touching as the greatest
authors ever penned.
"The face is as a written page,
Whereupon the world may read
Whatever we have written there
In word, or thought or deed."
Should we not then be careful,
and as we each day add a page to
this book, make it beautiful with
thoughts and loving deeds and never
suffer evil to mar it!
Land Ottice Decisions.
Washington, May 2. Coop's
Laud Oioier contains the following
land office decisions:
In the case of Watson vs Missouri
River, Fort Scott and Gulf R. R. Co..
it was decided that a pro-em p tor's
claim is not forfeited on account of
failure to make a payment within the
time limited by laws, there being no
adverse claimant to the claim and
the tract is excepted from a grant to
a railroad subsequently located.
Ihe right to change from a pre
emption filing to a homestead entry
is incident to and a part of the right
given the 2re-emptor at the time he
intimates his claim, and upon the
change being made relates back to
the date of his settlement, such home
stead entry is governed by the con
dition of land at the date his pre
emption claim took effect, and if the
land has become double minimum
in price, he may homestead 1G0 acres,
if the price was 1 25 per acre when
the settlement was made.
Queen vs Southern Pacific R. R.
The act of July 27, 18GG, is clearly
intended to authorize the Southern
Pacific Railroad Company to con
struct its road to San Francisco, and
gives the company the right to select
the route that is most desirable. The
State of California could interfere if
the road was built on a line not au
thorized by tho State; but if that
right were waived there was no power
elsewhere to interpose. By the act
of June 25, 1858, Congress treated
this road and the one created by its
authority and extended tho time for
its completion, and by joint resolu
tion of June 28, 1870, expressly gave
its consent to the line of road indi
cated by the map filed in the general
land office January 3, 1857. The
grant to this road took effect January
3, 18G7, when the map referred to
above wa.s filed in the general land
office.
The Philosophy
riage. "You love
of After Mar
me no longer,"
said a bride of a few months to her
better half in his gown and slippers
"Why do you say that, Puss?" he
asked, quietly removing a cigar from
his lips. "You do not caress me nor
call me pet names, you no longer
seek so anxiously for my company,"
was the tearful answer. "My dear,"
continued the aggravated wretch,
"did you ever notice a man running
after a car? How he does run! over
stones, through mud, regardless of
vervtliinr till he reaches the car
and he seizes hold and swings on.
Then he ouietly seats himself and
reads his paper." "And what does
that mean?" "An illustration, my
dear. The car is as important to the
man after be gets in as when he is
chasing it, but the manifestation is
no longer called for. I would have
shot any one who put himself in my
way when in pursuit of you, as I
would now shoot any one who would
come between us; but as a proof of
my love you insist on my running
after the car.
Personal Appearance of Dom
Pedro. He is about six feet tall,
with gray whiskers and hair. His
head is slightly bald. He looks and
talks like a German. lie was dress
ed in plain black, without an orna
ment except a gold watch chain. His
imperial spouse is much shorter and
is what may be called "dumpy."
She also has German features. The
suite of the Emperor and Empress
numbers nine person exclusive of six
servants. Ch icajo Tribune.
Graham Bread.
Because Graham flour is recom
mended as a very healthy article of
food, it should not be considered
that all Graham flour is rapidly com
ing to be as much an article of sus
picion as ground coffee or spices or
any other of the thousand and one
adulterations that are daily practic
ed. The commonest form in which
Graham flour is seen is that made
from a medium or poor class wheat,
and while not properly adulterated,
it may be justly characterized as
swindling of the meanest kind, for
the reason that the product is largely
used by dyspeptic and others in im
perfect health. The miller who
palms off on his customers Graham
Hour made from anything save .the
choicest of wheat is one of the mean
est of all villains, and if he is not
aware of it should be told so. Gra
ham flour properly made is nearly
as costly an article as bolted flour
ground from the same wheat, and,
therefore, when you are offered Gra
ham at much less than the best bolt
ed flour you are being victimized; it
is either adulterated or it is made
from inferior wheat. A common
form of adulteration is to take a bar
rel of flour costing about 5, add to
it about sixty pounds of middlings,
and the same quantity of cornmeal.
The result of the mixture is 30G
pounds of stuff costing about $6 45,
or a fraction over 2 cents a pound;
while Graham flour made from the
best wheat cannot be sold at less
th an 3 to 4 cents a pound. And
yet this vile stuff is being swallowed
by people in search of better health,
when they would do about as well on
a diet of hot white biscuit.
A Strange Case.
The other afternoon an old lady
and her daughter drove into tho city
on the Gratiot road in a one-horse
wagon, and the horse was secured in
an allev near the lower park on Ran
dolph street, while the women went
off in search of a dry-goods store.
Some boys wandered through the
alley, saw a chance for a joke, and
one of them borrowed a wrench,
others got a pry, and in about five
minutes they had placed the hind
wheels of the vehicle where the fore
wheels had been in the habit of run
ning. By and by the woman and
her daughter returned, untied the
horse, led him out, and the mother
looked at the vehicle and remarked:
"Seems as if this darned old horse
had been kicking in the dash board."
"Pile in, mother, called the girl,
as she tied up the halter; but the
mother couldn't. The pitch was so
great that the seat slanted skyward,
and the woman got off the hub, walk
ed around the wagon, and said:
I Jl bet onions that this horse is
hitched to tho wrong end of this
wagon!"
They were in a great puzzle when
a boy came along, saw the true state
of affairs, and he leaned up against a
store and langhed till the tears came.
A blacksmith was sent for, the wheels
properly placed, and the old lady
remarked, as she climbed up:
"Ulamed if 1 wasn t afraid for one
spell that I'd either gone cross-eyed
or was losing my reason. I just
want to get hold of some of these
Detroit boys!"
Hints for a Universal language.
Yesterday afternoon, says the San
Francisco Call, a young man much
given to the use of slang of the day
called on the Prosecuting Attorney
and announced that he wanted a war
rant for the arrest of a saloon keeper
who assaulted him, and this is the
way he made his want known:
"Look a-here, I want a warrant for
a fellar."
What did he do to you?" asked the
attorney.
"He hred me out.
"Fired you out! What do you
mean by that?"
"Oh! well, he stood me on my
head."
"Do you mean to say that he stood
you on your head; how did he do it?"
"He didn't exactly do that, but he
elevated me. Kinder raised me and
slid me olf my ear."
"WThat did ho do that for?"
"Why, I asked him for a drink,
and when I told him to chalk it in
his head, and that when I came
around again I'd kick it out, he told
mo to pull down my vest. I told
him to co,mb his hair, and he just
then boosted me.
He obtained a warrant for assault
and battery.
Gumming the Pubi-ic. A good
deal has been said against chewing
gum by the press at large, but it
holds its own evenly with the des
pised hand-organs. Certain Detroit
boys now peddle the stick from
house to house, and are allowed to
go from parlor to basement and
back and sell to all. When he has
been gone about fifteen minutes the
lady of the house remarks:
" 'Manda, yum gum um tell Bess
um whum to get for um dinner.."
"Yoli u go," Amanda replies.
"Bessum, 3ave chichum fum din
ner" remarks the mother a3 she reach
es the kitchen.
"Yaus um, bileum your roasum?"
shoasks, rolling her cud around.
Phtlosopht. Schopenhauer, the
German philosopher, was accustom
ed to place a gold piece by the side
of his plate as he sat down todinnor,
carefully pocketing it again when he
had done eating. Several noble offi
cers one day asked him jestingly
what was the reason of his curious
action. He replied: "I have vowed
to give this gold-piece to a beggar
the day you and your colleagues stop
talking about women and horses. I
have been waiting ten years."
Republican Platform.
The following platform was adopt
ed at the Republican convention,
held in Portland last week.
The Republican party of Oregon,
in convention assembled, makes
this declaration of its principles and
policy:
Jtesolred, That in this Centennial
year of American Independence Tje
again affirm our devotion to those
fundamental principles upon which
tho republic and the Republican
party were founded. Among these
are ,
1. Unswerving fidelity to, the con
stitution and the perpetuity of the
Union.
2. The preservation of the liber
ties and equal rights of all citizens
throughout the nation, andthe im-
partial administration oJE the laws in
every part of the country, for the
protection and enforcement of pub
lic and private rights and the punish-.
ment of violence and crime.
3. Pure and economical adminis
tration of every department of the
government, State and nation, and.
we pledge the support of the Repub
lican party to all measures honestly
proposed and wisely designed to
promote the moral and material
prosperity of the people.
4. That a well instructed people
alone can be permanently free, it ia
therefore essential t,hat the public
school system shall be maiitaurieil
in order that every child may receive,
such education as will fit him for
useful citizenship, and we are unal
teiubly opposed to any division
prHblic school money ior any juir
pose whatever.
5. That while we are in favor of a
revenue for the support oi the gen
eral government by duties upon
imports, sound policy requires such,
adjustment of those imports aa to
encourage the development of the
industrial interests of the whole
country and we commend that pol
icy of national exchange which se
cures to the forking men liberal
wages, to agriculture remunerative
prices, to mechanics and maufacturers
an adequate reward for their skill,
labor and enterprise, and to the na
tion's commercial prosperity and in
dependence. 6. That tha best interest of si
citizens of every condition and pur
suit imperatively demand the speedi
est return to a specie basis of values
and currency, and we hail with grat
ification the act of a Republican,
Congress definitely providing for
that end.
7. That we are in
ing prosecution and
favor of untir
punishment of
public fraud and crime, strawbid
ding and speculation in office, where
ever existing, and we repeat the iut
junction, "Let no guilty man escape."
8. We demand that our national
candidates shall be men of tried in-,
tegrity, who will carry out this pol
icy of reform, and preserve inviolate
the great results of the war,
9. We arraign the present State
administration and its supporters as.
corrupt and profligate. They have
robbed the common school fund;
they have been guilty of partisan
legislation ; they have squandered our
patrimony in lands, heaped upon us
a debt of over
couu uuu in uirect vio-
lation of the constitution.
A jtersoi:cl Motive tor the .Issstlna
tion of Lincoln.
Pomcroy's, Democrat tells a story
which, if true, supplies tho persona
motive of John Wilkes Booth in.
murdering Abraham Lincoln, which
has been lacking in all accounts of
the affair hitherto given to the pub
lic. John Y. Beal, long a bosom
friend of Booth's, lay in prison un
der sentence of death for piracy on
tho northern lakes. Booth, accom?
panied by Senator Hale pf New
Hampshire, Col. Forney and Wash
ington McLean, interceded with
President Lincoln for Beal's pardon,
going to the White House, after mid"
night, calling Lincoln from his sleep,
and most piteously pleading with
him. The interview lasted till 4
o'clock in the morning, Booth throw
ing all his dramatic power into the
work, and bringing tears from the
eyes of all. At last Mr. Lincoln
yielded and promised that ' Beal
should be pardoned. Next day he
told Mr. Seward what he had done,
and ho was very angry, declaring
that the sentiment of the North re
quired Beal's blood, and if the man
was not executed he would leave the
cabinet and charge Lincoln with be
ing in sj-mpathy with the South. Ac
cordingly Lincoln changed his mind,
and Beal was executed. This was
too much for Booth. He went into
a very frenzy of rage, and swore
vengeance on Lincoln. Selecting
the President for his particular vic
tim, he engaged the other conspira
tors to murder Seward, and thus he
got his revenge.
An editor is described as a man
who is liable to, crying babies,
grammatical blunders, tooth-ache,
typographical errors, and lapses of
memory, and Las 25,000 people watch
ing to catch him tripping a man of
sorrow and acquainted with grief;
poorly paid, poorly estimated, yet
envied by many and despised, per
haps by some of the great men he
has made.
Clean Ceilars. Take care that
the air in your cellar be free from
bad odors, lest your butter, cheese,
fruit, or whatever else be kept there,
become ill flavored having an old
musty taste.- It is important that
the air of your cellar should be chan
ged, as that of your parlor, setting
room, dining-room, kitchen or sleep
ing room. Pure air is one of the
very best preventives of the typhus
fever, diphtheria and other kindred
ailments. Will farmers and house
keepers make a note of ths?-rrBostg:x
Cultivator,
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