. : " j I . f - ' , . : . ' ' ' ' ' O o DEVOTED TO POLITICS, HEWS, LITERATURE, AMD THE BEST INTERESTS OF OREGON. o 1 1 i s o I o VOL. 9. HE ENTERPRISE. LOCAL DEMOCRATIC NEWSPAPER FOR TUB Fararr, Business Sin,' 4 Family Circle. ISSUED EVERY FRIDAY. h.DITORIXD PUBLISHER. OFFICIAL PAPE:t FOS CIACXAMAS CO. OFKtCK-In E."tekiri3K HaHding:, one dof sautu of Vasonic liuilding. Alain St. Trrmt of .Subscription: Single Copy One Year, In Advance SioO " SixjMonths " " 1.50 Terms of Advertising t Transient aJvoftlsrm -nts. Including all l notlct-s, t s iuar of twelve lln" nns vrcrts . $ 2.50 For subsequent insertion J.00 On Column, oit year 120.1(0 Hiif ' " tift.no O i irt'r" "i 40."0 B ii si Curd, Fsquaro. one year 1.00 SOCJI Vr XO TKES. o iKCOS LOiKJE NO. 3, I. I. O. 1, Meets every Thursday 3!i, ewniiu at 7 o'clock, in the OJi Follow' Hall, Main street. jm!i?rsof the? Or der aro invited to attend. Br order N.G. S. I. O. O. V., Meets on the S.vjond and Fourth Tues dav evenin each month Sbia&LJ :it7'i oVlock, in the Old Fellows' if. ill. M;n!jersof tho Dogrcc are invited to attend. MLTI.TX!:;1.VSS LOUKC NO. I , A . t A. M., Holds its regular com- ft muuic itiom on the First ami T.iird S ituniays in each month, at 7 o'clock from theiiOth of Sep. temher to the 'JtKli of March ; and 7Li o'clock from tho 20th of March to the 20th of September. ISrethren in good standing arc invited to attend. Uy order of W. M. KA1.L.S liC.M?M!:T NO. l.I.O. O. F., Meets at O ld Fellows' -n r II. ill oiitin I"iit and Third Tues- JX iliv : i -ii mon'h. Patriarchs -- V in 1 1 1 ViJiidiu. ar.? invited to attend. it r s r .v : .? s c a k i .s. a. j. n.)vn:, m. i). J. v. norp.is, r. YNin s AM) sncsnoxs, i : -Kp-sia;r. in Charman's Brick, M-.i.n -.T-( t. i .-. Hmvit's r -siil !jco Third str -t, at f -.f ciiif .-tair v:i A tf Dr. S. lliy.sieian Ac Suioon. i)fi'l'.:i;N;'itti i:!iarinaii, Sioif, t'.d 'tu-iiwr W. I'ish'.s s:or?. Mala St. Katr uier oit!) -pid . Tin I.ctr m Hit iiiiiiiin Surgeon for r :tij.ns. No 'x vini i vtioti (xe -pt "iii-n-ni .1" aa i "P-ri'i lit-can t ; in id -.i ilh o;it s;eial ord ts lro.il tU lV'nsiiiii liur.-au H'aihla 'ton. 1. L. i) it. j n 1 1 V KTCI I D C N 7 I ST, OfKICK IX 0tEG!) CITY, OREUOX. ni;H(it Cjli Price f jr County H a ill's ATTOUNEV Aa"D C0l"SEL0K-.T-L.W, Oi-oon City, Orc-iron. S:o"ll attention jriv'Ti to loaning: Money. ' iliee I-'ront room i-i Kstekphise build in v. jui-.ntr H. IITJlhTAT ATTORN EY-AT-LAW: 0n33?J CITY, lyOKFICh'-Charmati's brick. Main st. im.irisrj ;tf. JOHTiSON a;cCOWN kiimm aD cnuiSELons at-law. e"Vill pra.'ti". in nil tho Courts of the Stat, s-vend att"iitio given to cacs in the I. -S. Land O.lij- :t Jl r.-on City. 5a ;ir 1ST I r. T.. T. T? A n I A7TOR?3SY-ATLAV, ORF.GOX CITY, :j : OREGOX. i OFFICE Over ropAjln f,or. Main trot LlmarT.'J-tf. W JI. IIIGi-FIELD. Etatlisliel nine "4l, at the oll stand. )l3in Strict, Orvgoa City, Orc-ron. n man-rtment of Wat h. J wel- ry.and S th Thomas' Weight Clocks all of which aro v.'arraniea 10 oe as thaakfal for past patron ige. J0HX 31. KACOX, IMTORTKn AXDPKAtER FiJ In Hrxiks, stationery, Perfuni- YtrT ery, ftc, etc. Oregon City, (?rcjon. t.At the Post Ome, Main stgeet. east i RERJIIJOVAL. ALFRED KINNEY, M. D., nKNOVF.D HIS OFFICE AND i A '"idnce to the doutd house, N. AV. Corner of Alder nrnl Kast Park Portllnd-Or,?iron. whore he can W S to OA tay t home. Terms &- RTISPON A Co.. f oitlmd, M SPEECPI OF HON. JAMES H. SLATER, IJKLI VKHKI AT OREGOX CITY, AUGUST 3, 1875. Phonographically Eeported Especially for the ENTERPRISE. Ladies and Gentlemen : It 'has been my fortune to address the citizens of this county at various times, and I have always taken great pleasure in doing so, for I have al Avays found many friends to greet me here. I have also found here, as sturdy democracy as in any part of the State men who are as ready to meet the issues of the day, and do battle for Democratic principles, as in any other section of the Stute if not always rewarded with the same measure of success. I have always fonnd the same earnestness, the same truehearteduess, the same fidelity to their principles. We are now entering upon a cam paign which in my mind is not less important than any through which we have passed. It is true, we have but one candidate in tho field we have but one officer to elect; but it must be borne, in mind that the'coni- mg campaign is but the precursor of 187G. one in which we have much to do one in which we hope to accom plish much. As the precursor of that campaign, every one must ac knowledge the importance of the coming election for a Representative to Congress. For fifteen years the people of the United States have been living under the dominion of a party whose record is a blotch ujjon every page of our history during that period. Its record is made up of acts for which the future historian will. search in vain for an apologj'. Acts which as the future historian shall record them, will blush for shame. As a party it has been false to every trust, has violated every obligation, it has trampled States tinder foot, it has attempted to destroy tho liberties of the people. It will have been along dark night of oppression and wrong. Our presses have been suppressed, the right of trial by jury has been denied, executions have been ordered without that safegurad of personal liberty and life. The nation has been burdened with the payment of an enormous debt, fraudulent in part of its accumulation. And now we are again to meet in the space of a few months and test the question whether this party is to have a fur ther lease of power in these United States. And the question involved in that contest must be discussed to a large extent in tho present cam paign. In this campaign, so far as the State of Oregon is concerned, will be marshalled the forces upon either hand to test whether the State shall bo given for the Republican party on one side or for the Demo cratic party on the other. For I apprehend that as national parties are now organized, there is no middle ground that the contest must be waged on the one hand by the Re publican party, and on the other by the Democratic party of tho United States. In this view the present campaign must be looked upon and considered of no ordinary importance to the people of Oregon. Not only are we to elect a President in 1876, but we as a State are to elect a Sena tor to fill the place now occupied by Hon. James K. Kelh-. All these aro to be looked npon this election and it is important for every individual who is interested in the welfare of tho nation to look well to this matter, to take a deep interest and concern in it, to Fee that his neighbors are concerned in it, so that when the polls are closed the full vote of the Democratic party of this Stato will have been cast. We have placed in tho field the name of an honorable gentleman. It is true, he is not a3 well known, per haps, to the people of the State as soma others may have been ; but I can speak for him this much, that he is an honorable man, a man of untarnished reputation and a man of sound Democratic principles. And I believe in electing him we shall secure able representation at Wash ington. You will expect me here to-night to glance at some of the measures and principles dividing the great parties of the United States to hear something of the principles which are put forth in our platform, and here I will say that of all the plat forms I have ever seen, I h'are ne'CT met with one more tfibYditgh'ly 'Dem ocratic in all its principles enunciated than that ptit forth by ttTb Salein CbrJv'elltioli ApplanVeJ. ' The only OREGON CITY, objection to it is that it so completely covers the ground that there is little left for tho speakers who may take the stump. I' shall not attempt to go through with all the propositions in contro versy, or which will be more or less discussed in the campaign now ap proaching, or which may follow the succeeding year. ' It is well known that the most im- ! portant question people of the country, that the most important issues mat divide political parties to-day, are the issues of money and tariffs, currency and taxes. You have not failed to notice within the past fifteen years the rapid flow of wealth to certain centers yf the Unit ed States. You have not failed to notice the rapid increase of million aires in the United States. You have not failed to notice within the last fifteen years the rapid increase of money monarchs men who count their possessions not only by millions but by tens of millions. Yon have not failed to notice that in proportion as this wealth has centered in the hands of the few, relatively, it lias dejjarted from the hands of the many. There are causes for this, and those causes may be found in the laws reg ulating the financial affairs of the Government. Of course every Government must be supplied with the means to carry on its machinery. All Governments must have means of subsistence. These means are raised by taxation. In the United States Ave raise them chiefly by taxes called import duties and internal revenue exactions. Our revenue for tho year 1874 from all sources amounted to 828'), 100,000, in round numbers. Our expenses for the same period amounted 287,300, 000, leaving an excess of revenue over expenses of $2,100,000. We will pass back from this point to 18G0 a period of fifteen years. We find at that time, under the administration of James Buchanan, the expenses were in round numbers 00,000.000. But in the meantime an enormous debt has accumulated, upon which we are paying1 interest, lint deduct ing the amount paid in interest and for revenues, Ave find upon a simple calculation our expenses for the same government machinery as was carried on in 18G0, costs ns in 1874 tho sum of ;? 1 10,000,000, an increase of t-xo hiualred ami fifty per ixiit. Now this vast increase, this difference between $00,000,000 and 8140,000,000, goes into the pockets of a class of individ uals who are in authority, that is to say, there is now taken from the earnings of the people in one year, about 881,000,000, more than was taken from the people in 1800. Now the increase in population cannot be over forty-four per cent., while the increase of the expenses is two hun dred and fifty per cent. Now the party in power is responsible for this increase. They must answer the why and wherefore of this extravagance. And von must remember too th-it the administration of James Buchanan was charged as an extravagant and corrupt administration, and yet we find that the administration of the present party in power costs us 250 percent, more than it did in 18G0. with an increase in population of 45 per cent, ay hereby to lessen that in crease. From tariffs we receive 8100,000, 000 per annum. These tariils are j exactions laid upon foreign goods and merchandise; that is to say, a party who wishes to come into the United States with merchandise is required before ho can place them on Bale to pay a compensation or price to the Government for the privilege of doing so. The dutiable goods, that is those npon which a duty was paid in 18G4, amounted to 8415,000.000 while the whole imports were 505,000.000. Now while we collect SIGO.000,000 wherewith to run the machinery of the GoA-ernment, by the manner in which these exac tions were collected, or rather iu which they were levied, Ave pay three or four times that amount to the manufacturers of the United States. If these exactions stopped Avith the pavment of revenue- duties there could be no reasonable complaint, because the Government must have funds wherewith to carry on its ma chinery; but when these duties are so levied that the manufacturer of wool and cotton and iron and steel, so on through the catalogue,, can put into their pockets a greater amount than the Government, the people have a right to complain. We find in our platform a resolu tion that we are opposed to the pro tection. Let me invite your attention to some of the workings of this sys tem of protective tariffs. Take for instance the cotton manufacturers of the United States. The importations in 1SG4 amounted to 824.900,000 upon which Ave paid 80,000,000 duty, or an average of 3'3 per cent. Now the 824.000.000 of imported cotton man ufactures was br.t a tithe of the goods that were consumed in the United States manufactured by the mills in the New England States. These manufacturers could put 30 percent, npon their productions, so that Ave paid this large margin, SV per cent., to the manufacturers there. While we paid the sum of 80,000,000 upon these foreign manufactures, we prob ably paid fifty or seA-enty-five million into the pockets of these manufac turers in New England. The same j may be said of tho manufacture of iron, and"a hnndred other articles. Thus you will see that it conld not be otherwise than that these people must rapidly accumulate wealthy in crease their property; ' irioney, and bonds, Talfe the items "of iron and steel, things every KonsehShlniut ns'o more or less of in the course of a i-ear in 'rid form or another. -'How do we find it? Wo" are paying' 31 per ' j 1 OREGON, FRIDAY, AUGUST 13, cent, on all this "class of imports. Could wo ascertain the amount of these goods ' manufactured and sold in tiie United States, you would find we put into the pockets of the iron mongers not less than 8150,000,000 margin in 1874. Do you Avonder that wo have hard times? Do you won der that people complain of oppres sion in these matters? Take the item of sugar, an article of prime neces sity. We imported . 892,000,000 in 1874, paying the modest sum of 34, 000.000 taxes upon it in the shape of duties. How much Avcnt into the sugar refiners' pockets? I can not tell. It must amount to millions. Nearly all tho grades yon use here are refined out of foreign productions before they are brovight into your markets. Wo are now paying from 2 to 4J cents upon refined sugars, and the sugar refiners are putting that into their pockets. You see, when avc. pay this 3100,000,000 into the United States Treasury, we are putting into the pockets 'of these men still larger amounts. Here these people are growing and have grown immensely rich. But this is bnt a single item. If you look into the financial arrangements of. the United States, you Avill find at every turn advantage is taken of the poor man, and the rich man has the percentage in every item with which the Gov ernment has anything to do in this matter. Suppose we look into the banking system. Yon understand we have two kinds of paper money. One is the legal tender greenback; the other is termed national currency. Here is another class of men that have grown rich, not, however, off of the importation of iron, or off of the im portation of cotton, or off of the im portation of anything, but they have grown rich doing nothing but In' handling the people's money. Some years ago Congress passed a law au thorizing the organization of banks called National Banks. They are re quired to deposit a certain per cent, of bomls, for instance a hundred thousand dollars in bonds, and they are allowed to draw out ninety thou sand dollars of paper money called national currency. These bonds were drawing at the time of the passage of the law ( per cent., though they now draw but five per cent. The banker takes this ninety thousand dollars and loans it out all the way from ten to twenty per cent. At the time these banks were organized we had a better currency we had the green backs which these notes supplanted. To-day there is r!82,00O,OOO of this national currency in circulation and there has been 8382,000,000 of green backs supplanted by it. Upon this 8382,000,000 we were not paying a single cent of interest; it was wholly in the hands of the people as a cur rency for them to use. But these financial men in the cities of New York, Philadelphia, Baltimore and Boston thought that they could make money by tho change, and see how much they have made in the ten years these banks have been in exist ance! We have been paying G per cent, upon the bonds they have de posited iu lieu of the currency issued to them, amounting to about 824, 000,000 per annum, taken out of our hard earned money, for ten 3-ears. Ten times that is two hundred and forty -four million dollars, they have accumulated out of the people's pock ets. Bnt this is not all. They turn ed legal tender notes into bonds, getting their interest upon them. and now they are loaning 8382,000,000 at from ten to twenty per cent, per annum in addition to the five per cent they draw npon the bonds, so that in this instance the people are contributing for the benefit of the bankers the interest on the bonds in the treasury vault and on the 8382, 000.000 of national cnrrencA. Now there is another item I will call your attention to. Every per son who has been reading the news papers, particularly about election times, lias wondered where the vast corruption funds came from that was wielded to influence the election in favor of the ruling party. I will not say to you that I shall be able to point yon positively to tho place where these funds come from, but I can point to a place where I will say that large sums might be realized for a corruption fund. Ever since 18G5 there has been an average of balance, one hundred and fifty to one hundred and sixty millions per annum, retained in the treasury, at least the Secretary of the Treasury reports one hun lrcd and fifty mil lions and something over that amount. Sometimes it is largely coin, at other times it is largely cur rency, bnt the average amount from 18G5 to the present time will not fall far from S150,000,000 per annum. Now large portions of this is in what are termed pet bank?. You may look in vain to find that any allowance has been made for money on deposit. You will look in vain to see Avhether these banks pay anything for having these sums in their possession. How much would Ladd & Bush of Salem or Ladd at Portland pay to any in dividual if he would give him a de posit in this form in sums ranging from ten to twenty thousand dollars? I ask 3'ou how much they would pay? Figure the amount at two per cent, per annunm. You have 150,000,000 and at two per cent von have the modest sum of 83,000,000 per annum and in every four vears the modest sum of 812,000,000 as a corruption fund to be applied hero and there and everywhere. I don't say this is the case; bnt when we see always every official tainted with corrup tion and our elections corrupted, may we not fairly presume that from these Rources-at least come -large mims . for corrupting oar elections. Put leus look at this,again. ..While we have had this money there, our 'officers have pointed to it with pride and said "Why look! your treasury COURTESY OF BANCROFT LIBRARY, is overflowing; Ae are always ready to meet the demands that come upon it." And you are paying him five per cent, upon bonds that might bo withdrawn from the bond holders' hands and yon Avould realize from it the modest sum of seven and ons half millions per annum. Why is it not done? The question is eassy asked. I leave it for you to ansAver to yourselves. Noav I said a little while back that I proposed to show you Aveve paying largely more taxes than you Aveie last year. In 1S72, Congress passed an net reducing taxs. It -took -the tariff off tea and coffee. Among the reductions was one providing that only 00 per cent, of the then existing tariff sj.onld be collected for certain imported goods. But the Congress of 1874 repealed this law and Ave are now paying the full amount of the tariff that we paid piior to this re duction. In other words, where Ave paid DG per cent on cotton goods we now pay 4G; on iron and steel Ave now pay 41 per cent; on leather where we paid 22 per cent we now pay 32 per cent; on sugar where we paid 27J per cent we now pay 47 J; on woolen goods where Ave aid 54 last year we are now paying G4J. Last year our average assessment upon imports was 38 per cent; now we are paying 48. But where fore tin's increase; why pile on this sixteen to thirty millions of taxes upon the people when .we have cash iu the treasury as shown by the Treasurer's report; I ask the "ques tion, when we have money coming into the treasury to meet the de mands against it and have a surplus, why pile up thirty millions upon the backs of the people? The only an swer that is or can be given is that these men, these manufacturers may fill their pockets still further out of Lthe pockets of the people. The last Congress passed a law for tho re sumption of si)ecie payments a re sult most devoutly to be prayed for a condition which every American citizen is anxious to arrive at. It is true there are divisions sustained in regard to the manner of doing it; there are different methods proposed. But now let us look at some of the re sults of this tariff I have been ad verting to. I-I very man understands this proposition, that if a man is spending move in each year than he maues, bankruptcy is tne result. The proposition is a fair one, that if you spend more than your income that bankruptcy is the end. What is true of an individual is true of a people. We have outstanding of United States paper money the nice little sum of seven hundred and sev enty six million dollars. Specie payment is proposed and is certainly desirable. As we have said in ou!' platform the precious metals are the onlv actual basis of commercial ex change. It is the only standard of values whether we have paper or something other than coin we must go to coin as a basis of all cal culation. But here it may bo said, and truly said, that we can never re sume specie payment so long as the balauce of trade is against us. That is to say we cannot resume specie payments so long as avc are buying more foreign goods than we are sell ing of home productions to foreign countries. In order to resume spe cie payments we must have specie to do it with, either in the treasury or in- the hands of the people. Now from 18G4 to 1875 there have been but two or three years iu which the balance of trade was in our favor. Last year there was a large balance in our favor. Our exports were 8704,000,000 and our imports Avere S505,000,000; making an apparent balance in our favor of 8100,000,000. Right here 1 wish to explain; this Avas the first year after Avhat avsis termed the level reduction of tariff. When the year was ended, when the columns of figures were added iq) and the results ascertained we find an apparent balance in favor of the United States of 8100,000,000. But when we come to reduce it to a coin basis as is neccssarr in order to ar rive at a correct result wo find the balance in coin to be 857.000.000, so stated by the treasury. In 1871. I think it was, there was a balance of 810,000,000 in our favor. All the other years it run from ten to GO or 70 millions against us. Now I ma ask another question: Why should Congress with a plethoric treasury, a balance of receipts over expenditures make this increased taxation when we have fonnd by an experiment of a single year that the balance of trade had turned in our favor? It is true, I presume that intrinsic cause con tributed to this result the crash which came a year or so ago, the suppression of business, the panic through which we have just passed, all contributed to increase this bal ance. Bnt if we will examine the history of the government and of tariffs we Avil I find that like results have followed from previous experi ment. It seems to me that very few peo ple comprehend the subject of the enrrency. It seems to me that very few people comprehend the situa tion. We have long, labored articles explaining and advocating contrac tion as the means by which we are to reach specie pavment. We have equally labored articles to prove that we must go through inflation to reach it. The usual method has been by contraction; yet we believe that in our condition we may reach it without material contraction. What we want in the United States is redemption. We want the gov ernment to fulfill its promises to pay the dollar it promised to pay in years gone by. How is it to be done? When is the government to pay these millions of dollars it has prom ised to pay ? If it. can't do it all in one year, it may be able to do it in a series of; years. But I apprehend that as soon as the government starts 1875. upon the process of redemption you will find that its paper dollars Avill become of the same valne of a coin dollar. When your paper has become convertable Avith coin you will have already passed through the throes of resumption. It is not necessary that this money should be in the treasury of the United States in order' that specie payments shall be resumed, but it must be in the hands of the people, now much coin then is in the hands of all the people in the United States? I am not able to tell exactly but ii. is about 83,000,000 per annum and have been .exporting fully that amount, so 'that the pro ducts of our mines have been suffi cient to make up the balance of trade against us. This is Avhy, I say be lore we can resume specie payments Ave must turn the balance of trade in our favor. But when the govern ment of the United Statcs is ready to reduce a suitable portion of its currency, then the day of distress will be past; when able to pay any considerable portion of their prom sies, dollar for dollar, the people would just as soon have a dollar in paper as in coin. When that is ac complished all this speculation, all this fluctuation of paper money in tho States East will have j-ta'ssed away to be heard of no more. I will not dwell upon these things longer. Perhaps I have already detained you too long. It is Avith the utmost 'dif ficulty any speaker can mke them interesting. There are too many fig ures and hence an audience will be come listless in listening to them. This resumption i3 an important question which will attract your at tention in the months of the coining campaign. They are the important questions Avhicli Avill attract the at tention of ti e people until the close of 187G. Upon this point parties have divided; these are questious which must agitate the people of the United Ststes at this time. It is true there are ether questious very important questions besides this. You cannot fail to look upon the course that has been taken by the party in power in trespassing upon the rights of States and individuals in their attempt Avhieh they mad 2 in the last Congress to pass an uncon stitutional force bill. And here let me s;iy, that while, we flatter our selves that Ave are a free people let me sa- to vou that it is lnr no means certain that if you elect a democratic president you will be able to .seat him. I know the machinery, and I think I understand it. Look for a moment at the condition of the rules in relation to the counting of the electoral votes. Either the House or Senate may refuse to count the vote 01 any State and if either House does so refuse, that State cannot be counted. It was admitted by Sena tors in the 42.1 Congress alter the vote was counted for Grant's second term that the rule was such that we were liable to be thrown inla civil revolution. Take the acts we have seen perpetrated and ponder the les son they teach. Tako theactsattempt ed to beput through the last Congress and answer as an American citizen Avhether your liberties are safe whether although you have a dem ocratic House, the Senate which is to-day largely republican may not have it in its power to revolutionize your government in 1877 Avhen the time will come to count the Presi dential vote. Now if the A-ote is close, if it should depend upon a few of the Southern States in which they ranv pretend there has been intimi dation of voters for the purpose pre venting the inauguration of a demo cratic President, what are your chan ces worth? What is the situation of cur country and government to-day? when such men as Senator Mor ton stand up and attempt to carry in tiie Senate of the United States, the force bill; when we see both Houses pass sjich a bill as that passed in 1871 called the Ku Klux act, I repeat, what have you to expect at the hands of a party so little bound by prece dent, so little bound by tho rules and precepts of the constitution of the United States? These things ought to impress plain and honest men of every party. They affect not merely Democrats. I know Republican's have been looking wishfully for a lime when these things should change. I know there are many Re publicans Avho do not believe such things should exist. I ask them to ponder well whether the time has not come when they should sever their relation Avith a party which has shown itself so subservient to its masters and so reckless of conse quences. Now let me say a word to Demo crats. It is said that "eternal vigi lance is the price of liberty" and as I look back for fifteen years in the State look along the road we have traveled when in 18C2 we were so badly defeated and driven into a one third minority when our news pa pers Avere suppressed; when men pointed at us as rebels and traitors, follow that track along down and say Avhether you should iioav relax your effort in securing victory on the "25th day of Octob.r next, Avhether the candidate suits your notions or not. I appeal to you os Democrats to be at the polls and see that your neigh bors are there also. A Western editor appeals to his delinquent subscribers by saying: "This Aveek wo have taken in pickles and potatoes on subscription. Noav if yon Avili bring in sotic vinegar for the pickles and some wood to roast the potatoes, -we can live till arti chokes gets big enough to dig." Copy was out. The devil . picked up a paper and said: "Here's some thing Abont a woman' must I cut it out?". VNo!." thundered the edit or; " the first disturbance e.ver; creat ed in the world was occasioned by the devil fooling about a womaD." NO. 42. Ringing for the "Water Boy. A good story is told of a verdant one Avho Avas passenger in a railroad express train, and became thirsty. - "Where's that ere boy with the wa ter can ?' he queried cf his next neighbor. "He has gone forward to the bag gage car, I suppose," was the reply. "Wall d'ye s'pose I kin git him back here agin." "Certainly," said the other, "you have only to ring for him;, and be nodded tOAVard the bell line that ran above their heads. . No sooner said than done. Before any one could prevent it, Rusticus had siezed the line and given it a tre mendous tug. The consequences Avere at once obvious; three shrill whistles Avere heard, half a dozen brake men ran to their posts, and . .e train came to a stand still wit a suddenness that startled half the pas sengers with astonishment, and ca is od every man next a Avindow to hoist it and look out to see what was tho matter. Iu a feAV minutes the condu r red and excited, came foaming into the car to know Avho pulled that bell rope. "Here mister, this way; I'm the man." shouted the offender, drawing all eA-es on him. "You !" said the conductor, "and Avhat did yon do it for?" "Cos I Avanted some water.,' "Wan'ed some wntr-r?', "Sartin? I wanted the water boy, and my partner here in the seat said. I'd better ring for him as Ae do at the hotel, and so I yanked the rope. Will he be along soon? An' by the bA'. Avhat bo you stoppin'for? 'The shout'of laughter that greeted tin's honest confession was too mucji for the conductor, and he had to wait till he had got his train under way again before he explained the mys teries cf the bell rope to his A-erdant customer. A Paib of Satxts. We have all been slandering Delano, exclaims the Philadelphia Times. He is no such person. So Smith says, and Smith knows. For Smith is Delano's man; they ran the Indian Bureau together, and is it likely that Delano has made anything out of it without the know ledge of Smith? Obviqusly not; and when therefore. Smith assures us that Delano is just as honest as the day is long, Ave may rest satisfied. But suppose that Smith himself is not altogether on the square? That cannot be, because Delano who knows all about Smith, gives him the Aery best character. Ah ! such a pair of saints Ave not often meet Avith in this wick ed world. During tho revival services at Yal lejo. California, a gentleman observ ed that one of Mr. Hammond's hand somest and most energtic lady assis tants was being vigorously hugged by a young man while the singing Avas going on. When the inqniry meeting had commenced, the young lady approached the gentleman who had been Avatehing her, and asked in a meek, plaintive voice,, "Do you love Jesus? "I fear I don't love Je sus half as much as you do tho boys," responded the gentleman. The fair damsel was not disconcerted a bit. and she curled up Jier pretty month and said: "Dont you wish vou Avere 0110 of the bovs." She tried to sit down in a street car, but Avas pinned back so tight she couldn't. Old lady peeped over her specs and asked her "Hoav long haA-e vou been afflicted that wav?" Tiie young lady blushed and made "a break," sitting down sideways and holding her knees together so tight that she looked as if she had on a one-legged pair of breeches. Old. lady noticed her sitting in this side Avays. cramped position, and whis pered, "Bile I s'pose; I have bad 'em thar niAself." Says a Milwaukee paper: "Noav Avhen the soft afternoons come, adol escent couples wander to some shady nook, and, seated on a grassy knoll, gaze with speechless rapture upon the greenness in each others eyes, and sit, and gaze, nnd sigh, until tho evening shadows fall: when slowly home returning, she tells her parents with voice subdued and reA-erent bear ing, that she has been out to the qui et abodes of the dead, reading in scriptions on the tombstones." Cure Fou Earache. There i3 scarcely any ache to which, children are subject, so bad to bear and diffi cult to cure as earache But here is a remedy never known to fail. Take a bit of cotton batting, put upon it a pinch of black pepper, gather it up and tie, dip it in sweet oil, and insert into the ear. Put a flannel bandago over tho head to keep it Avarm. It aav 11 give immediate relief. A noA-el flower basket adorns an office in Poughkeepsie, in the shapo of an Indian's skull, said to be all that remains of the once powerful "Big Fire," of MatieaAvan. A hole dug in the center of ftie skull on top makes a kind of floAver pot, and out of it grows vines and flowers, and a vine runs from the almost toothless jaAV. . . Jnst think of it! It costs one mil lion tAvo hundred and fifty thousand five hundred and eighty-nine dollars and ten cents to keep the women of this countrv in imported corsets for one year. What a waste! Exchange. Stay! It is not a waste, it is one of their means of support. . A young inan mTmed Dudley Gill more, aged about eighteen son of the hotel proprietor otnncio n C Jty. w-s drowned in the. Wdlametje xiv? er, at the biidge near Harrisburg, Q Saturday. O O i ( o o i O o o G O O 0 O o O O III - - o o 7 f