7 G VOL. 8. OREGON CITY, OREGON, FRIDAY, APIRL 24, 1874. NO. 26. V Jk. fv . - - rm mm rm t b man mm r B S THt Eli 1 CHr HIDE A LOCAL DEMOCRATIC NEWSPAPER l K O II T II E lariaer, Business Man, k Family Circle. IBSCED EVERY FRIDAY. A. NOLTxTER, EDITOR AND PUBLISHER. OFFICIAL PAPES FOR CLACKAMAS CO. OFFICE In Dr. inessing's uhck, ucal door to John Myers' store, up-stairs. Terms of Subscription s isinsle Copy One Year, In Advance $2.50 ; Six Months " " 1.50 K Term of Advertising Jransient advertis -ments. including ail notices, t s-p.are ol twelve lines one week For each subsequent insertion.- 1. " One Column, oe year WJ.JJO llusn.ess CarJ; 1 snuare'.one year 12.00 It U S i X H S S CARD S. j. V. OliUIS, 13., IMIVSICl.VN VNI NUHUKO.V, Oli KG OX CITY, OR KG OX. ftT-O.Tief irp-Stairs in Charman's Hrick, Main street. au-lUI. W. H. WATKIMS, M. D. PORTLAND. OREGON. y ) F F I ' E KM Fe 1 1 ov 's Tc n 1 1 l e ,cor n o r First and Alder streets. Residence corner Main and Seventh streets. J)rs. Welch & Thompson, DENTISTS, OFFICE IX ) J) 1) F E L L 0 )rS T EM P L E, Corner of First and Alder Streets, rOltl'IANU - - OUliUO.W CiT Will bo in Oregon 'lty on Saturdays. .Nov. ; :t H. H C FLAT. CIIAS. E. WAKKEN. HUcLAT&VffARREN Attorneys-at-Law, 03S30H CITY, - - OREGCfJ. y)KFICK "Mi arm a n's lrlck. Main St. 5marls72 :M. J O n SON &. SVJeCO W Pi ATraaxEYs and ioinselous at-law. : OrDon City, Orator.. y'ill practice in all the Court of the State. special attention niven to eases in tue U. S. Laud oilie at Oregon City. d.iprlS72-tf. Tu. T. 13 A K I xvT, ATTORN EY-AT-L AW, OREGON CITY, : : OREGON. OFFICE Over Pope's Tin Store, Main street. 21mar7:-tf. J. T. APPERSOfsS, OFFICE IX PO'STOFFICE BUILDING. I.gal Temlcr, (iarkiima C'v"" Or ders, uml Orciin City Ordcrii BOUGHT AND SOLD. iST OTA 1 1 V lUJ 3LI C. Ioansa negotiated. Collections attended to. and a tjleneral lirokeage business carried o. - jantitf. A. NOLTNEll A 0 T A R Y P U 1) L I C. ENTERPRISE OFFICE. OltE&OX ( ITV. W. H. JIIGHFIELI). Ksullilel since !!, ut the old stand. 31 ai ii Siivt't, Orvgoa City, Ort'gon. An assortment of Wat lies, Jewel 7. 7 ry.and Set h Thomas' Weight Clocks J . all ol wliicit are warranted to be as V-i4a represented. -" i4 -airmg done on short notice, and in mkiul tor past patronage. A. C. WALLINC'S PIONEER BOOK BINDERY. l'iitock'a ItuiMi.,0- Corner of SturU l 'rot MrrrU. PORTLAND, OREGON. I IASk BOOKS UUI.F.l) AND BOUND I to any desired pattern. Music books ,M igazmes. Newspapers, etc., bound in ev ery variety of style known totlje trrade Orders iroin the c.untry promptly "at tended to. OREGON CITY BREWERY. Henry Humbel, -avino rrnciiAs. ifME e ed the nltove llr..,.-. rJt!Ji CT5? h 5 ed the lmri l!nm ry wishes to inform the public that he"J J'Prepared to manufacture a No, 1 o.ual LAGliR BliJili, ft S irootl as ran ho Ahutnn i . - ""iiuutu .til n (DTP in flUd rdyrs soliL,ii'J and promptly KEW YORK HOTEL. (Deutfches Gafthaus.) No. 17 Front Street. Opposite the Mail Steamship Landing. PORTLAXU, OREGON. n.ROTHFOS, J.J.WILKEXS, Proprietors. ra ft W eek I wrd WVir""iT."w"V V" 5-5.00 I Botf J fl X...Z "S 6-(,, , ...... 1,00 i LEAVE IT TO GOD. lie it a doubt? all doubts lie solves ; I Questions which thought in vain re- soi ves, lie settles with a nod. Ve it fear? He liatli the balm. Which every human tear will calm ; Leave it to God I Leave it to God 1 Pe it the weight of daily care? Bring Him the burden;"' He will bear Alone the tiresome load. T?e it the restless, anxious thought For future years? By faith be to light Leave it to God I Be it the battle of this life? He fought it on eo and won the strife, Who earth's rough ways has trod. Be it The foe, who triumph Vaunts? Jesus had foes, and liore their taunts; Leave it to God 1 Leave it to God ! Be it the loss of worldly wealth, Or yet, the sorer, loss or health? All losses He makes good ; In every loss there is some gain, Some seed of grace in everv pain; Leave it to God ! Leave it to God ! Be it the heavy weight of guilt? The blood of Christ was freelv spilt. And sin atoned bv blood. Be it the littleness of faith? Ask and be full, the promise saith ; Leave it to God I Leave it to God 1 Be it a dread to yield this breath, That life-long bondage, fear of death. The pang, the worm, the sod? He cowpiereu death who victor lives, He liveth, and who in Him lives; Leaves all to God ! Oregon Manufacture. From the Salem Statesman. We take pleasure in announcing th success of any permanent manu factures established in our State, because each one so successful lavs the foundation for other enterprises and makes success more easily at tainable. A year or so ago the Ore gon Wooden Ware Manufacturing Company was incorporated at Oregon City and commenced work with im proved machinery, the principal stockholders being J. 1). Lils and lien. Jlolladay, Jr. After a month's run the propietors found the market supplied and no demand for their wares. The Oregon dealers had a considerable stock on hand of goods brought from abroad, and as soon as California, manufactures found out that we had such an establishment they put down prices below cost to kill oil the dawn of Oregon enter prise. We are glad to know that at last the permanence of our manufac tures has overcome opposition "and that their wares now inlly supply our market, so that there is enough demand to keep the manufactory steadily at work. This has not been aeeoiHiilis'ied without diiucnlty, it is accomplished, and we are to that ex tent independent of California, and not rtnly find market for our wares but also for the -.valuable timber so abundant in Oregon. The Company now manufactures all sorts of pails, buckets, tubs, broom handles, firkins, clothes horeses and other wooden articles in general use, and will soon commence making kegs. When at the warehouse at Portland last week we saw a tine lot of these goods pass ing through, and certainly better wooden ware never was made. The Willamette "Milling Company of Portland are preparing to manufac ture stuff, for boxing for the China trade and hope to establish a perma nent business of that description, as the Chinese have rather a peculiar idea about packing cases. That com pany also is to commence the manu facture of wooden fruit boxes and baskets, made of shaved material, cut with sharp knives from steamed wood. So it seems that we can turn to profitable use the forests of fir, spruce, ash and oak, in which our country so greatly abounds. A Tkki:ii5I.e Scandal. A popular clergyman of Lmhalo returned from an extended journey a few davs since, and just as he alighted from the cars and was receiving the con gratulations of a crowd of delighted parishioners, who had assembled to greet him, an inebriated individual following in his wake, seized him by the hand, and exclaimed: "Well, good by, old pard, I'm going further and shall keep up the same old drunk for a while yet, but you're pretty well sobered up and you better keep so! 1 'spect, as drinkin's rough when a fellow s round home. Jhit you know how to go on a gallus spree and have a rum time just as good as any pard I ever had, and you has my re spect. Day-day, old buster." Before the astonished clergyman could gather his wandering wits the hail fellow was off, leaving a terrible scandal for the delectation of the gossips of Buffalo, and a prospective candidate for the lunatic asylum. Didn't Get Fiughtened. Some students fixed up a ghost and placed it on the staircase of a Troy newspa per office, the other night, and then retired and awaited developements. One of the editors came along and didn't get frightened. lie disrobed it, and now wears a $15 pair of pant aloons, a S10 vest, a $7 pitir of boots, and an .8 hat, while one of the stu dents goes about without a vest, and another roams through unfrequent fcu streets wearing a very ancient pair of pantaloons. Never be above j-onr business, no matter what that calling mav be, but strive to be the best in that line. He who turns up his nose at his work, quarrels with his own sparks: there is no shame about anv honest calling. Don't be afraid of soiling your hands; there is plenty of soap to be had. An effected young lady, on being asked, in a large company, if she had read Shakespeare, assumed a look of astonishment, and replied: "Read Shakespere! Of coarse I have; I read that when it first came out." Around the World by Rail. The trip around the word nowa days, taking the passage of the Isth mus, of Suez, is become such an ordinary journey that the undertak ing is regarded as of little more im portance than attached to a summer's tour on the European Continent a few years ago. Anvbodv may do it, and already the chronic victims of bore-doni have come to see nothing in it. But from quite recent revela tions it is likely that the round-the-world tourist ten or a dozen years hence will have a choice of routes. A railway through Siberia, con necting the Itussian and Chinese capitals, is not merely a dream of idle visionaries; but we are told the project now belongs to ordinary rail way enterprises of the day. The topograph of the country presents no insurmountable obstacle to the exe cution of the plan, and the energy of the Russian Government in pros ecuting public works warrants the assumption that the scheme will not fail for lack of means to carry it for ward. It is asserted that the Ural mountains, as an impediment to a a railroad from Europe into Asia, amount to nothing; and it is shown tiiat no serious difficulty is to be ap prehended from snow, which does not fall to such a depth in high lat itudes as in more temperate regions. M. Alexis de Lomonossoff, a member of the Imperial Geographical ."Soci ety of Russia, has communicated to Mr. J. J. Casey, of New York, some account of a Russian-Siberian-Chi-nese railroad plan, and Mr. Chasey has written a letter to the President of the American Geographical So ciety, reciting the more important features of the project. In the opinion of a special Commission, appointed by a Russian Trade Asso ciation, there are two practicable routes through the middle region of Russia and Western Siberia where the ro.al would touch sections whose rich local productions in cattle, tal low, wool, bather, etc., would be a source of revenue from freights, and where abundance of coal may be obtained. The account referred to gives the names of a great number of populous towns, either lying di rectly in the route of the line desig nated for a railway, or which could be reached by short lateral linos. Between the parallel of o0 deg and (() deg. north latitude, t he snow rarely exceeds an average of three feet. The roads from St. Peters burg to Moscow and Warsaw, and other lines near sixty degrees of r.orth latitude are not interferred with thnr working on account of snow. The descent of the Ural is so easy that but little grading would be required. It is not doubted that the present overland Asiatic-European trade would fully justify the building of a railway, without tak ing into, consideration the vast increase of passenger travel which would be certain to follow. On some portions of the route, especial ly favored by the Commission, the scenery in summer is very fine. The river, forest and lake scenery is spoken of in warm terms. Some doubt is expressed about the practi cability of making a railw'ay connec tion with the Amoor river, but sev eral ports on the Pacific Ocean are mentioned as terminal points of the road. The Commissioners declare that a Chinese-European railway is an ur gent necessity, and speak evidently with confidence in its entire feasibil ity. They nay that for the benefit of Russia the road must be begun as soon as possible; that it would be impossible to begin the construction of such a large line simultaneously in all its parts; but it must be com pleted in sections. Judging from the enthusiasm the project seems to excite in Russia, in may not be too much to expect that a trip around the world by the way of San Fran cisco, Pekin, St. Petersburg, London and New York will be realized before the world grows a dozen years older. The Statesman tells this: A lady living several miles from Dallas, left home for that place one day last week in search of a physician for her husband who had been for a "long time ill with a chronic complaint. Upon her return home she took a shorter cut than the usually- traveled road. At one place she got down to open the fence and was unable to get back on her horse. A gentle man passing by in search of some horses that had got astray, seeing her dilemma asked if he could be of any assistance. lhe lady replied that he could not, he passed on, and had got but. a few rods awav when she called him back and informed him that she did indeed stand in need of assistenee. The gentleman gave her the aid she needed, and covering the mother and child up with a horse blanket, soon returned from the nearest house with the elderly females of the household, a matrass and wagon. I lie lady and the little stranger, who made hi appearance upon the " field" of life in so singular a manner were taken home and are getting along we learn "as well as could be expected under the circumstances. "Gf.nekocs Roosteus." A cross eyed man cast a gloom over a De troit street car, the other day, by ad dressing one of seven men and stran gers on the opposite scat, "if he had any chewing tobacco handy." First the seven strangers looked at each other. Then the seven hands went pocketward, and upon observing this motion, each of the seven sup posed his neighbor the one spoken to and the seven nanus reiurneu emptv. The cross-eye cast a rico chet glance of indignation along the line, and with the remark "a sweet scented lot of generous roosters, took a chew of his own tobacco. The Modern Ilritish Yoke. From the Evening News. The thing that most exercises the Radical crowd is the Litigant Act. Discomfited in every other quarter, they find the abuse of this measure an unfailing source of comfort. It is the last resort of those Radical partisans who have exhausted every resource of party rascality in carry ing outtheirown schemes, as it is the sorehead, who, having deserted his party and disowned his principles, seizes upon every available opportu nity to signalize his efforts and dem onstrate his zeal in behalf of the side he has espoused. For many months Ring papers, Conventions and orators have dwelt with vehe mence upon the enormity of the crime against the public interests that created and continued the ob noxious measure. We can scarcely persuade ourselves to accuse the sin cerity of the men who have put on the appearance of so much earnest ness in their attacks. Thus, when we are assured, by a recognized mouth-piece of the party, that the LitiganActis an infamous measure; that it is " a violation of natural rights;" that it is a second edition of "the British yoke;" an outrage upon the ordinary suitor, and a gross rob bery of dead men's estates, we would hardly imagine that the want of such a law had been taken advantage of to swindle a valuable estate of almost its entire property, by causing to be published the required legal notices, relative to the same in an obscure paper; or that the party to which the act is particularly a grievance had steadfastly maintained for years a practice involving all of the objec tionable features of the Litigant Act, but possessing none of its re deeming ones. The practice of con ferring all advertising of a public or judicial nature, required bylaws of the United States, has been for years, and is to-day, rigorously main tained by the Radical party. Take the advertising required in bank ruptcy proceedings, in proceedings in the Admiralty Courts, and in other proceedings of a like general character, had in the Courts of the United States, and it will be found that the general, if not inflexible, rule has been to confirm all such ad vertising to one particular paper, or class of papers, and that a paper of the Radical party. It matters not th.it this is not done is pursuance of an particular law or rule of Court, so long as it is done. In some way, and for some purpose, the usage has been established, and has acquired the binding force of law, of giving all printing of this kind to some par ticular Republican paper, without any pretense of consulting the wish es of the parties interested in these proceedings. Nobody knows this bi tter than the men who are making loudest complaint of the Litigant Law, and who have enjoyed the spe cial privileges indicated. Nor is this all, nor the most that can be said on the subject. The im mense advertising business of the United States is bestowed upon the partisan papers of t be dominant par ty. It makes no difference, that the people, who do not read these pa pers, help to pay the taxes; that in many instances the paper selected may not be the one most generally read in the locality in which the no tice is designed to circulate and that the public interests may require the selection of a different advertis ing medium. The Government se lects its papers in which to perform this advertising with sole reference to their party character and party influence. Consider the fact: Cer tain Democratic newspapers have been designated, in pursn:nce of law, to do all judicial and legal ad vertising under the laws of the State. The Republican press and party make the fact the excuse for the most bitter complaints. They de clare that it is a violation of " natur al rights," "an outrage," a some thing not essentially different from the "British voke"," and yet the United States Government has des ignated and employed, to the exclu sion of all others, certain Republican papers as the medium in which all advertisements of a public nature should appear. If it is au outrage that the News should do the legal printing for this district, pray is it not eqnallv an outrage that the Sec retary of War should designate the Ihtlliithi as the paper in which all notices for bids to supply the differ ent military posts shall bepublished ; or that the Postmaster General should do the same thing with ref erence to proposals for mail con tracts; or that the Government should do the same thing with ref erence to the laws of the United States. The advertising business of the United States is enormous. No body ever heard of it being given in any part to a Democratic paper or of anopportunity being given to such a paper to compete with others for such advertising; yet it is a matter in which the whole people have an interest and which is paid for by them. With what admiration then shall we regard the assurance of the litigant organs of the United States in presuming to attack the litigant organs of the State ? NoiEttous Titles. The editor of a AVisconsin paper says: "Wednes day's mail brought us a letter ad dressed 'Rev.,' another the 'Hon.,' another 'Col.,' and the last 'Esq. On the way to dinner we accidentally stepped on a woman's trail, and she addressed us thus: ' You brute.'" Offees a Premium A Pennsylvania farmer offers a premium cliromo with every load of manure bought of him. The Only Change An impecuni ous citizen said the only change he was allowed was that of the weather. Dolph's Lies. From the Salem Mercury. On the occasion of the slim meet ing held in the Court House in Port land, on the night of the 12th inst.. to ratify the Republican nomina tions, lately made in this city, one J. N. Dolph, the attorney of Ben Ilolladay, paid by the year by the railroad corporations to do their dirty work, was ordered out to ex pose himself in the most ridiculous manner by asserting all sorts of lies about the present State Administra tion. Dolph, attorney for Holladay, said that the State Treasurer was al lowed fees to the amount of j?1000. To organize and support the Treas ury, the act of 1870 provided that there be an Assistant Treasurer, and for compensation of the Assistant xieasurer ana ior cieiK nire, mere should be allowed one-half of one per cent, for receiving ami paj-ing out all the moneys of the Treasury. Supposing the average receipts have been 300,000 this would amount to 3,000 a year for all this work and for the responsibility of the custody of the funds, in support of the office and the Assistant Treasurer. He falsely asserted that the Treasurer drew a per eentage for receiving and paying out school moneys and swamp land moneys. Nothing is received by the Treasurer on their accounts. Dolph next attacked the Locks with all the falsehoods and misrep resentations of two years ago, which are so well understood by the peo ple, that we need not refer to them. But to spice his stale discourse on this subject he coined a new lie to the effect that Governor Grover was a stockholder and was interested in the Willamette Falls Canal and Lock Company, which we have au thority for pronouncing absolutely and unqualifiedly false. This state ment of tli is falsifying corporation attorney is not only false, but must have been well known to the utterer to be false at the time he made the statement. Governor Grover has kept clear of all connection with all claims of cor porations which might influence his action as a public officer, and Dolph, being inside of the railroad corpora tions, has good opportunity to find this out. Dolph attacks the appropriation for building a new Penitentiary and for Health Officers as though" they were not the best measures ever adopted by the Legislature, which they are. The grossest lie told by the Holla day attorney is as follows: "In ad dition to the app:o riations before mentioned, the appropriation in cluded in the general appropriation bills and sundry small appropriations of that session amount in round numbers to 015,928, abount 455,000 of which was for the expenses of the first two years of the Grover Admin istration. And the total expenditures and appriations of the first two years of the Grover Administration amount in round numbers to nearly or quite five times as much as the expenses of the State Government for the last two years of the Woods Administra tion." "Let us look into the record from which t he attorney pretends to draw his facts, and we read on page 45, Secretaiy May's report for 1870, as follows : Abstract or warrants drawn on the State Treasurer from September 10th, IStiS, to Set tember 10th, IS70. Total $277,005 40 Denelencv lelt over 2,hhoo Interest accrued 3ti,0 M) 00 ' I ' ... i r . 1 1 i - . i $315,3; 15 40 This is the actual cost of the last two years of the Woods Administra tion. The item of 30,000 was actu ally paid by the people as interest on State warrants which were delayed in payment on account of the con spiracy which resulted in breaking up the Legislature of 1SG8 without making the appropriations. The re sult was, the money was left to be used by speculators and the public warrants went unpaid. Take this actual cost of the last two years of Wood's Administration from the sum of all the appropriations given by Dolph and we have the following: Total appropriations of 1870, cover ing revious two years and com ing two years 5C 15,928 Expended on account of Woods' Administration 315,90.) Left over for the next two3-cnrs....$3K),023 This showing will be still worse for Dolph when we state that the Woods Administration did nothing for a Tug Boat or Health Officer at the mouth of the Columbia river; supported no schools for mutes; maintained no Land Office in Eastern Oregon; had no Executive office or office of the Board of School Land Commississioners; kept no records of State deeds: nor was any of the public work, required by law to be done to secure the titles to the pub lic lands, attended to in any manner. All these matters caused a certain amouut of public expense for offices, lights, fuel, stationery, etc., which cost nothing during Woods' Admin istration because wholly neglected, but during the present Administra tion they have all been necessarily and properly incurred. The appropriation for contingent expenses of the several departments of the State was 21,000 for Woods' last two years, and only 13,000 for the first two years of the present ad ministration. The records show this, yet May left bills unpaid to the amount of 2,000, making the ex penditures for the last two years of Woods' Administration 26,000 double the amount of the first two years of the present administration. The other statements of Dolph are of a piece with those examined. The Holladay ri .g lied the election through two years ago and expect to lie it through this year. But as the people found that all proved but a hollow and corrupt falsity then, thev 1 cannot and will not give ear to the i same class of falsehoods now. Two years ago the Democratic party was crushed down by. the weight of Hol laday imports and fraudulent and purchased votes. Now it is quite different. The eye of the law is on the scoundrels and the corruption fiinds have fallen short. We have not the slightest doubt of complete triumph, over all falsehood and fraud. Faint Praise. From the Oregonlan. nere is the kind of send-off the Jitilletin, ring organ, gives oreran. cives Carev Johnson, ring candidate for Judge of this District? "Hon. W. C. Johnson, candidate for Judge in the Fourth District, is too well known to need anv intro- dnction to the people through the press, or any recommendation from any quarter. He possesses fair legal ability; his probity has never been called in question; he is a Republi can of strong convictions, though he has never been an extreme partisan; he is industrious and attentive to business, and will make a conscien tious and painstaking magistrate. We hope to see him elected by a flat tering majority." "Possesses fair legal ability." This is just the least thing that could be said of a candidate for the Su preme Bench by the organ of the party that nominated him. Under the circumstances it is not a recom mendation, but an apology. It is exactly equivalent to saying, "Well, since the man is nominated, we must do the best we can for him." But the Bulletin says truly that Carey is a man of " fair" ability. We do not use the term in just the same sense as the Bulletin. But the next remark, " that his probity has never been called in question," is not true. His pro bity has been, and that recently, called in question in a most serious matter, and many people call it in question at this time. We are not among these, and do not wish to be set down among them, and refer to the subject only because of the broad and incorrect statement of the ring paper. We said personally to Mr. Johnson, some time since, more than we have said through the Ore gonian, and probably as much as we shall say in the canvass; we are not disposed to allow a statement so gen eral as this to go forth for the benefit of the ring candidate, unless it is true. But the coldest thing in the Bnl lethis faint praise is the remark that Carej- will make a good "magis trate." We should think he would-. A judge, when acting as a magis trate," is simply a Justice of the Peace. There is another definition of the word, but this is the ordinary one. We should think Johnson would pray to lie delivere I from his friends, unless he has made up his mind that the rin paper has so far lost its influence among respectable people as to be incapable of harming him. The latest and most unheard of thing, in the "bornin"' line, comes to ns from Junction City, in this county. A family residing there luid a hen turkey, but no gobbler; nor was there any in that vicinity. There was, however, a rooster belonging to the same people, and between this rooster and the hen turkey there sprang up an intimacy which ripen ed into mutual regard, has been at tended with peculiar results. The turkey laid thirteen eggs and, as an experiment, they were duly "set" The peculiarity of the situation was soon noised about and the unani mous opinion seemed to be that those eggs would never hatch. Promptly on' time, come ten little "hybrids half chicken, half turkey seven of which are now living and doing well, three having died. TJie young fowls are said by those who have seen them to be somewhat larger than chicks, their bodies being turkey-shaped, but having unmistakable chicken heads. Considerable interest is man ifested in this novel family. How many are there of each sex? Will the males be roosters and gobble? Or will they be gobblers and crow? Did ever any body hear of such a cross be fore? Yreka Union Unbearable Tykannt Oveistheown Max Adler says: We learn from an exchange that "The Legislature of Massachusetts has lately passed a law making it necessary that a dozen eggs weigh one and one-half pounds." We approve of this. The hens have too long had their own way in this business of laying eggs, and they have constantly defraudod the pub lic. It is high time this outrage was crushed, and we are glad that the Legislature of Massachusetts is go ing to do it. If free American citizens are to be imposed upon with impun ity by debauched and corrupt chick ens, the government for which Wm. Penn fought and John Hancock died, is a disgraceful failure.. Hereafter Massachusetts hens will either have to lay two-ounce eggs or emigrate. The people will submit to their ty ranny no longer. They have borne the yolk until it has become unen durable. They denounce present prices for present eggs as eggstortion, and in hens they demand a reform with the determination to draw up this chicken bill and pullet through the legislature. Suppressed. Intending to be pathetic, the editor of the MeCon nelsville Herald wrote of a "beautiful girl stranded in a gale," but the fiendish compositor set it hp 44 beau tiful girl straddled on a rail." The editor's pathos was suppressed, and so was the compositor. The Cincinnati Inmtirer officer to bet S500 that no fashionable lad v v- er croes to bed wit mnt firsf. lnnlrmir in the looking glass. A Successful Temperance Movement. From the Dan bury Xeww A resident of Ward Sixteen in Boston, believing that drinking liq uor was a pernicious custom, reso lutely set his face against the sa loons, and put a barrel of ale in the cellar. On the first evening of the purchase he repaired to the cellar to tap his ale, taking a kerosene lamp with him. On reading .the barrel he thoughtfully sat the lamp on the floor in a direct line with the soot lje was o tap, and taking the faucet I . - A 111 uut: imuu " urove in me nung 1. 1 1 T - . and meant to have applied the faucet at once. But the power at the vent was so great that the faucet was knocked from his hanil, and the lamp being in direct range was upset and put out in a Hash. A less sanguine party would have strait way plunged up stairs for another lamp, but he'd find that faucet in the dark if it took him seventy-five years to do it. He dropped on his knees, and described various circles with his hand, wbilo the foaming and sputtering ale whis tled uninterruptedly. He moved around swifter and ftwifter, losing the calmness born of his determina tion, at every unsuccessful return of his encircling hand. He bumped his head against other barrels and scratched his knees on the floor, and was bombarded in the face and neck and under the coat tail by the fierce steam. But he would 'find that faucet. He beat the cemenP surface with his fist, and prayed, and howl ed, and screamed, and wepf. But he would'nt go after a light. The flying ale got into his throat and choked him, and into his nose and made him sneeze. It ran from his eyes and his ears, and down his face; and neck from his hair. But he wouldn't give up. And down there on his knees in the dark and flying liquid, he stayed like an honest and honerable citizen until lie found that faucet, and jammed it into the bar rel. Then he felt his way up stairs, and appeared to his family with a want of congruity in his appearance that was painful to behold. The blood from a scratch over the eye had mingled with the flecks of foam and trickling ale, and these in turn were loaded with dust and cobwebs. His hair and clothing were saturated and one eye was completely closed while the other glared upon the horror-stricken family in unconscious ferosity. But he had found that faucet, and he would have found it if he bad stayed down there until Canada had frozen over we think he said Canada. Then he went up stairs and went to bed. G O The FivepDaughteks. A gentle man had five daughters, all of whom he brought up to some useful andTre spectable occupation in life. These daughters married, one after another with the consent of their father. The first married a gentleman by the name of Poor; the second, a Mr. Lit tle: the third, a Mr. Short; the fourth a Mr. Brown; and the fifth a Mr. Kogg. At tl e wedding of the latttr, her sisters, with their husbanbs,were present. After the ceremonies of the wedding were over, the old gentle man.said to the guests: I have taken that they might act well their part in life; and from their advantages and improvements I fondly hoped that they would do honor to their family; and now I find that all my pains, cares and expectations have turned out nothing but a Poor. Lit tle, Short, Brown, Hoc. In High Glee. Two litth? girls, cousins, not a hundred miles from P.ovidence, R. I., went to bed the other night in high glee over some secret. After they were asleep, the mother of the younger, going into their room, had her attention drawn to two little slipsQof paper pinned to the wall, one over each little head. They proved to be rude attemptst illuminations in colored crayons, and ran thus: "Oh, dear Jesus Christ, send mamma a bady; may it not be twins. Amen." English Swells. A genleman was walking down Congress street behind two English swells, wjien he overheard the following conversa tion; " 'Arrv, mv boy,'' said one, "What's o'clock?" The other felt for his watch, and exclaimed, "Bv Jove h'l've left h'it h'at h'ome." " Then, turning to a boot-black stand ing by he said "my lad, what's o'clock?" "What's a clock?" says the lad; "why, you darn fool, it's a thing as big as your head, with hands on it." Englishmen passed on. A Sweeping Bkoadslde The edit or of the Warsaw, Ivy. Record, "rings the bell" in tle following compendi ous and comprehensive five line par agraph; and conclusively shows that he has arrived at a proper apprecia tion of General Grant's favorite Con gressman: "Ben Butler says that the newspapers slander him. This we de ny ; as there is not a word in the Eng lish vocabulary that can be construed into anything like a slander against such a beast. Grumbling. The business does not make the man, it is the man that makes the business. Grumbling and complaining is not going to help the farming interest of the State. Give the various crops the thought and la bor they demand, and it will be found that the cry, "farming don't pay, "is all moonshine. We must help our selves andnotdepend nponsympathy , and resolutions, and newspaper arti cles of complaint. Men who think a great deal and work earnestly, have not much time to waste on grumbling." Georgia, known before the war as the Empire State of the South, is now determined to rightfully hold that appellation. She has thirty four cotton and woolen mills O O O 0 O o o