L
i i
ORIGINAL DEFECTIVE
'. " . .. . - : ... .- ' . - : tt. . . , - : "T : : " 53 rT-"
... . : .... , - - 0' -
H IT: '
O
o
o
O
o
o
o
I
lb,
G '
IV II
VOL. 8.
THE EHTE1PH
A LOCAL DEMOCRATIC NEWSPAPER
FOR THE
Farmer, Business Man, & Family Circle.
ISSUED EVERY FKIDAY.
A. NOLTNER,
EDITOR A NB P UB L IS HER.
OFFICIAL PAPER FOR CLACKAMAS CO.
OFFICE In Pr. Th-ssins's P-rick, next
door to John Myers" store, up-stairs.
Term of Subscription:
single flonv Ono Year, In Advance.
...S2.50
.... 1.50 !
" Six Months " " --
Term of Ailverti-dii t
Transient advertisements, including
oil l.-.r;i! notlO-S. t Si III mi-nr
lini'S one w'"k
2.50
For t'iioli subsequent insertion
One Column, one year
Half
Quarter" "
Iiusiness Card, 1 square, one year
; u s i x n s s c a j: i s.
l.iio i
I'lUI i
-I'UMI
12.U0
J. XV. sT
IS, M. J
PHYSICIAN'
U Sl'UCiKOX,
O Ji koo y CI T 3
( i: Ji (7 O .V.
R-J-Offic Up-Stairs in
Main Street.
Charmnn's I'.rick,
anil It I.
W. H. WATK1NS, 11. D.
(M)llt
PORTLAND,
-7-OFFICK Odd Fellow's Tern r ! enrn-r
1 First mill Ald-r streets. Kesideiic.- corner
of Mam and S ventli streets.
Drs. AVelch A: Thompson,
D E
M T I
oi rici: i v
O 1)7) FELLO ir.s1
TEMPLE,
f - I Corner of First and Alder si r
ts.
PUKTLAXn - -
OliKGUX.
gy-Vill b ' in Oregon City on Sat urdays.
Nov. o :tf
S. UCELAT.
CH AS. K. W. IIKKN.
HUHLAT&lVAHa
Attorneys
03E30N CITY,
DREDGE.
lL?"OFFICK ('harniioi'sbvif
5:narlS 2 :t i.
U. Main st.
JOHHSOH a JYlc
ATT0RX2YS
AND nil ajLLOKS i-L.'n.
3
Or 35?on
.3
RVWill praetiee in all
tt-.t.. Ki ei:il attention
th'
,i;r! s of the
to eas s in
the if. S. hand oiiie - at irv' City
5aiirls72-tt.
ATTORHY-AT
OR EG OX CITY, : :
LAW,
OREGON.
O Fi
st roet
ICE Over
I'ope's Tin Stor",
21mar7;;-tf.
Main
J. T. APPSRSOft,
OFFICE IN POSTOFFICE r.CII.DIXG.
L.Ksil Tfiuli-rs ( lirknm:i County Or
ders aml Oi-rmi Cily Order;
BOUGHT AND SOLD.
XOTAUY 1M lllv .
Ians m-ottated, Coll -et ions
attended
ss earried
to. and a ieneral liroKeae uu-m
ou.
janiitf.
N 0 T A IS V T U 15 1. I C.
ENTERPRISE OFFICE.
OKF.GON CITY.
AV. II. 1LIGHFIELI).
EstablUll ini- 1'., at the ohl stand.
Main Slr.Tt, Or.'Eon l it y, Orrson.
An assortment of Wat hes, .Tewel
V?eN rv and S. tn riiom.i'.' Weight Clocks
( - fi all of which are warranted to be as
tLJ-.'t r.-i.reaellt.-d.
y-li.Mairini done on short notice, and
thanRful for past patronage.
A. G. WAL LING'S
PIONEER BOOK BINDERY.
Pillock Hnlhling Corner of
uikI Front Strefls.
Stark.
PORTLAND,
- - OREGON.
m.Wir P-OOKS Itri.KD AND r-OUNP
l tr. anv desired pattern. Music books
Magazines, Newspapers, etc., lound in cv
.rv vnriwv of st vie known tothetrrade.
rP.ir from the c. untrv promptly at
tended to.
OREGON CITY BREWERY.
Henry Humhel, g
.WING rt-RCHAS- vi.
H
"wishes to inform the public that hois
or nwnared to manufacture a -No. 1 qual-
ltyf LAO BR
as c-ond. as can be obtained anywhere in
fh sstate. Orders solicited and promptly
filled.
NEW YORK HOTEL
(Dcutfcb.es Gaflhaus.)
No. 17 Front Street, Opposite the Mail
Steamship Landing.
PORTLAXD, OREGON.
H.KOTIIFOS, J. J.WILKENS, Proprietors.
TVard Wxk
Board Weefc with
Board Day
...$o.00
... 6.00
... 1.00
Lodging -
Shaci Economy.
From tlic New York Sun.
There is a vast deal of pretence at
"Washington on the subject of re
trenchment. The departments are
going through the motions of cut
ting off some the monstrous exeres
cencies, and diminishing estimates
that were purposely exaggerated..
j Members of the Committee of " ays
and Means are using the telegraph
I to humbug the country with a pre
tended zeal in the same direction.
This whole business is a sham,
from leginning to end. No earnest
disposition has been shown either by
the Administration or by Congress
to bring down the expenditures to a
real peace basis. The cost of carry
ing on the Government has multi
plied in the ratio of seven for one
when compared with the increase of
population during the last decade.
Extravagance, corruption, and pro
digality are the causes of this extra
ordinary disparity. Abuses have
m-own into accented usage tnat were
never tolerated until the advent of
Grantism. Unices have Peon created
merely to reward partisans. The con
tingent funds of every Cabinet offi
cer, and all the heads of bureaus,
have been converted into a source of
personal profit, by which their com
pensation is largely increased.
Deception is habitually practiced
in the estimates sent to Congress.
The Secretary of the Navy obtains
millions under the guise of necessa-
! rv repairs, and applies this fund to
building new ships, ihe naval com
mittees are "seen," and they connive
at a barefaced fraud.
The Indians are decreasing rapid
ly in numbers every year, yet the ap
propriations augment in the inverse
ratio of their decline. Under the
hollow pretext of a Christian policy,
the outgrowth of Christian states
manship, eight inillionswerecxpend
ed for this service during the last
fiscal year, and a million more is de
manded for deficiencies. In other
words, nine millions against two mil
lions eight hundred thousand in the
year of l when the Indians were
almost doubly as strong as they are
now. "While" tho Indian Bureau is
connected with the Interior Depart
ment, and that continues to be presi
ded over by Columbus Delano, these
expenses will grow as they have con
tinuously grown under a system of
pi under "and swindling, by which an
infamous liing is enritched, t'.ie In
dians are cheated and the Treasury
plundered.
"When reform of these and other
flagrant outrages is proposed, Mr.
Crarlield, at the head of Appropria
tions, answers that they are author
ized by law. That is to say, an
amendment is emnwigly attached to
some bill this year at the close of the
session, by which a permanent out
l iv is incurred, an office established,
. v :i service enlarged, without dis
cussion or the, knowledge of Con
gress. Next year it is added to the
regular estimates, and if a careful
member objects to the new item, Mr.
Caitield rises and reads him a lec
ture , saying that the money is only
asked to carrv out a law.
Vud so it goes on year by year, un
til millions are voted "in every snp-
ly bill, which are nothing but gross
frauds. This thing cannot he i.ono
without colludon. and it is no se
cret at Washington that the import
ant chairmanships in the Senate and
louse of Kepre eutatives are sought
or ti e opportunities whicu they af
ord of making money. In this way
the appropriations are constantly
iept swelling, until the present pro-
portions have Peen reacnea.
Special and class interests wmcii
ire protected by vicious and corrupt
irills, join hands with the proiess-
ional plunderers to put U2 the ex-
peiises to the nigiiesi point uuia
the least regard to the puouc mier-
st. While this system is permit
ted to continue, their revenues are
augmented and their monopolies
more tirnilv fixed. So that the conn
try is not only taxed directly for the
tens of millions thus stolen and
squandered, but is also made to pay
tribute to these monopolists, who
buy any legislation they need at
W ashington.
To tamper with this condition of
things by reducing some of the most
notorious extravagance would be
like treating a deadly cancer with
court plaster. There is but one rem
edy, and that is to strike at the root
of the evil. The plain duty ot Con
gress, at least of those members who
are earnest about reiorm, is to lix a
limit of expenditure in the public
service, and say plainly to the Kxec
utive and the ttepartments, that they
must live within this prescribed al
lowance, and that no deficiencies
will be tolerated.
That is thcjonly method of certain
retrenchment. If tue President had
been - at all inclined to stop the
abuses, he could have done much bv
an order to that effect, and by his
own supervision, lie has more power
to reiorm the civil service by exam
pie and exaction, than all the laws
that could be passed in any Con
gress. But he has no disposition
to ao one nor the other. In fact the
whole of his official and personal in
fluence has been thrown on the side
ol extravagance, and in favor of in
iainous lungs. He is responsible for
his own double pay, for the most in
sulting appointments, and for the
protection of thieves who have plun-
1 1 it fP . -w .
uerea me xreasury. it remains to
be seen if Congress will end as it
has begun, in shams.
"How is your wife?" inquired
doctor of one of his patients. " She
is dead, I thank you was the witty
and wicked answer.
Every meal is a rescue from one
death and lays np for another; and
while we think a thought we die.
Jeremy Taylor.
OREGON CITY, OREGON, FRIDAY,'
About Married Women..
There is a great difference in mar
ried women; some are happy and
contented, some are cross and figity,
many are tidy and industrious, and
not a few are careless and indolent.
Some have a bright and interesting
group of children about them; oth
ers have none, and never will hae
any.
Young girls indulge in many ro
mantic and unreal fancies with re
gard to marriage and its relations.
They are ever looking forward to
the time when they shall settle in
life, with many happy expectations.
ftome nini in marriage more than a
happy realization of their dreams;
others encounter trials and cares,
to which in earlv life they were not
accustomed. A woman's domestic
i - - .
happiness depends as much upon
her own disposition to be unselfish
patient and comfortable, as it does
npon the worthy dualities of her
husband.
Married women mav be classed
under three separate heads. The
married llirt, the strong-minded wo
man, and the domestic wife.
1 he married llirt is usually i wo
man with a very pretty face and tig
ure, a great deal of personal vanity
and verv little good taste, common
sense, and moral principle. She has
in her character no element of true
affection, or loviucr regard. She
marries either for money, or to se
cure a irreater freedom in her flirta
tious than she could have under the
protecting wings of her tnyus-eyed
mother. . She has a prominet pas
sion for iewelrv and other barbaric
ornaments, and she shows them off
to good advantage, if wearing such
decorations can be considered as any
advantage. If she is unfortunate
enough to have anv children, they
are usually left to th care of a care
less nurse-maid. Sometimes the
husband of a married llirt becomes
verv iealous of her. storms around
and works himself into a furious pas
sion at her various improprieties,
vet often he encourages her in her
little eccentricities, feeling in his bo
som a. sort of secret, gratification in
the consciousness that he is the sole
owner of what to many others court
and admire.
The strong-minded woman has the
credit of possessing a considerable
amount of brains. She has the head
of a man. on the bodv of a woman.
Tf idio lei.1 nnlv been born a man, she
would have been a positive success.
As it is shf! can hardly lie Wanted
is,
upon as
a nrodigv: for she is usually
a verv noor house-Keeper, aim
i i
tne
superiority of her intellect often
dwarfs the energy and business qual
ities of her husband, who soon sink
into a sort of menhfl and
physic.i
inirmiric.ince beside her. until he
becomes a sort of mediocre bein
whom she regards as of verv little
conseoiience. She is usually cngag
ed in bringing about -some "much
l reforms" or lecturing
on the domestic relations; the proper
training of children, etc.,; while her
own offspring very much need her
care at home, as their neglected and
nntidv appearance often indicates.
Son.etinies her strong-mindedness
takes a literary turn, and she
breathes her sentiments through the
medium of the public press, and
burns the midnight oil at home, in
the aconies of composition, while her
husband puts the children to bed,
and looks after the household affairs
generally.
There is nothing lovelier or more
beautiful to the world, than the do
mestic wife and mother, she devotes
her best years to the happiness of
her husband, and the proper care
and mental and moral training of her
children. The love and inliuer.ee of
such a wife and mother is one of the
sweetest things in the universe. It
ones with her children through their
manhood and their womanhood, and
is the ' iruiding star to their subse-
iiipnt success and usefulness. She
has her cares, ner trials, ami tier
- . . j-, -ii
sorrows, HKe ail wim are numan.
Vet, she bears her burdens with
11 11 i
Christian fortitude and patient resi
nation. She luihlls every promise
made at the marriage altar; her love
is unchangable, and the world better
for her having been an inhabitant ot
it.. Such a woman is missed when
she passes away, not only at the
home fireside, but in the community
where she lived. It is the highest
type of true womanhood to be a do
mestic wile, a laimiui neip-meeu ana
affectionate mother, and the wo
man who tills this position, accom
plishes the highest aim in life that
God has given her to do. .ifjte
in
Our Firexvle r rieml.
The editor of a Western paper once
gave a notice of a ball, and happened
incidentally to mention that the
dancing of Major Heeler's better
half was like " the cavorting of a lly
bitten cow in a field of cucumbers."
The fact that the editor had not been
invited to the ball may somewhat de
tract from the value of the simile,
while at the same time it accounts
for his establishing the figure. The
Major accompanied by his better half
and a six-shooter, called on the editor
to complain of the poetical nature of
the image. On learning that the la
dy was the one he described, the ed
itor besought her to raise her veil.
She did so, adding, "Now, sir, I ex
pect you to apologize." "Apologize!
I should rather think I would, was
tl.o on-r ns he seized his hat and
ranidl v left the room. The astound
ed Major rushed to the window,
"Ston. von sir. vou haven't apolo
gized !' ? "All right, Tm going to do
it in a minute?" "WTiat do jou
mean?" shouted the Maior. accentu
ating the note of interrogation with
a pistol bullet. The answer was
wafted back from, around the next
corner " Can't tou see I'm looking
for that cow !"
Working-men.
From the Kasson Telegraph.
The workingmen of Cincinnati.
Chicago and Louisville, met together
in large numbers recently, and de
mand of the authorities either work
or bread.
These workingmen's conventions
are getting to be very common and
there is no telling to what they may
vet lead. Just look upon this pic
ture and then that. On the one
hand we have honest American citi-
struggling for a mere subsist-
. . -i -i
ence, the sun Ken eyes ami wau coun
tenances of their wives and children
continually goading them on to des
peration. On the other hand we
lave a President at nity tnousanu
dollars a year, with itcidental appro
priations amounting to over a hun
dred thousand more, we have Con
gressmen living in high style and
frittering away their time, without
anv regard to the welfare of the peo
ple, at a salary of six thousand per
year.
- . . .i.
It is this extravagance in tue pay
of otTieials. exnenditures of govern
ment, defalcation of government offi
cials, fat jobs for government pets
and other like abominations of par
tisanship which bring these troubles
, a .Til,
upon tue people, -tvii wea.ii.ii i me
result ot labor, and surely the laoor-
er. the oniv one w no produces an
! 1 11
that is produced, should have at least
a living. mere is no iacK oi weanu
or means of subsistence in the coun
try, but the trouble is that by unjust
ami unwise legislation a few have
been enabled to amass millions of
wealth more than there is any sen?e
or justice in one man obtaining,
while for every one of the millionaires
hundreds of laboring people have
been compelled to eke out a mere
living not even beholding so much
as a solitary basis in the gloomy des
ert of hunger, poverty and despair
through which they pass on their
weary journey to the grave. Is it
just for one man to have a hundred
fold more than what can possibly do
hint anv good while others have to
starve lor tne wealth he has noamcu
. .i i.tii i it
and over which he sits and growl
like the dog in the manger? But
how would vou remedy it? Some
men are sharper than others and al-
wavs will accumulate wealth while
their followers live in poverty, prob
nblv on account of their own sloth
and indolence. We are not speaking
of that class. The man who accum
ulates wealtii by his own energy is
i . - - i.i i i
entitled to it, ana aitiiotign ne is in
duty bound to aid his fellow man vet
it would be unjust to compel him to
do so. Tlie injustice we speak of
consists in the favoritism of govern
ment where men, not by their own
energy and ability, but by traud ana
laws favoring one class at the expense
of another, are enabled to snatch
from the people the profits of their
labor thereby filling theirown coffers
with gold but making beggars of the
laboring classes. Let salaries, from
the highest government ollicial down
to the lowest county official, be re
duced fifty per cent., in some cases
ninety-five per cent, as in the case of
some oi the snorms ot counties in
which are large cities. Let all inter
est in tees be doue awav with and let
each iiicial have a stipulated amount.
But, says one, our ohicials must have
large salaries in order to maintain
their dignity. Dignity, indeed.
Spare us from such dignity display
ed in Congress where a lot of salary
giabb?rs stand, each pointing at the
oilier saying "you did it!" Another
says we must pay these men well in
order to make them honest. If a
man is not honest by nature you can
not bribe him to be honest, and the
more you give him the more his
avaricious spirit will crave.
Let ns put all this sophistry and
can't far from us; let justice be done
to all; let no one inteiest be protect
ed and another neglected; let our
ohicials have reasonable salaries, and
let them work for the good of the
country and not for money; Ictus
hasten to return to the simplicity of
republican government; let us not
build up a nioneved aristocracy of
the few while the masses labor on
bound la the chains of a servitude as
degrading as was ever heaped upon
man. Let us see that justice is done
aid all will be well. Let us continue
in the blind partisanship that has
ruled our country so long, continue
to bow to the (iod of Mammon, and
will not be long ere the working men
will not only meet to pass resolutions
but tneir riots will cause our streets
to How with innocent blood and the
horrors of the French revolution will
be re-enacted in this fair land of ours
Who, in that day, shall bear the
heaviest blame? Shall it be the
poor workingmen led on to acts of
violence by hunger and despair, or
the moneyed sharks, who, while sit
tin3 in their gaudy palaces, reared
by the labor of these very men, have
refused them even a crumb of bread
from their tables bending with the
richest viands of earth ? Let justice
answer.
The editor of the Louisiana, Mo
Press, in relating what he knows
about farming touches upon the hog
Question in this stvle: "To make
Berkshire pigs out of your hazel split
ters, select a cool day, stand them on
their hams, tied to a sapling, and
drive the noses back into their shoul
ders, leaving about an inch protrud
ing. If you look at the agricultural
papers you will see that all blooded
hogs are fixed in that way. XI you
have any whose noses are longer than
the rest of the body,' better sell them
to an artesian well company for drills,
for vou cannot drive the nose back
without telescoping- the whole pig
When you cut up hogs, leave the
ham square, leave some hair too, salt
. 1 -I 11 1 iL
everlastingly, aua inej wm ue worm
several cents less per pound than
when trimmed and cured so that a
Christian can eat theni'
JANUARY 30, IS74.
Home Training.
"While we are alive to the advan
tages of technical education as a
remedial agent for the curse of Hood
luniism, we have always held that
the cause and cure of that social dis
ease are to be found in the parental
influences that form the character of
the child. We have frequently writ
ten upon this subject in this strain,
but perhaps have said nothing more
to the point than the following re
marks which we extract from a
lengthy article, treating of Prof.
Oilman's technical school project,
which we find in the Sacramento
(Cal.) Record:. There is something
wanting in the education of the boys
who gravitate toward ruffianism,
something which the best educational
scheme in the world might utterly
fail to supply. That something, we i
take it, is a moral sensibility; a kind
of possession which no text-books
can help us to, which no course of
lectures can supply; which be sought
in vain among the problems of s.:i
ence,the mechanism of manufactures,
or the paraphernalia of experimental
chemistry.
When boys are abandoned to their
own courses, they speedily take on
the habits and modes of thought of
those who are held up to them as
specially deserving of imitation; and
this is the case whether the object of
admiration be the swaggering, high
heeled, long-coated rowdy ou the
street-corner, or the gin-soaked ruf
fian who lurks about the city front.
And when the plan of education is,
as with us, one which brings togeth
er all kinds and conditions of chil
dren, it is clear the sole preventive
ive against contamination and corrup
tion is the influence of parental in
fluence of parental instruction. It
is, in fact, in the home circle alone
that the character can be formed for
good; and if that subtle, gentle, but
wholesome aud powerful influence,
be wanting, the result, in nine cases
out of ten. will be the condition we
know as Iloodlumism. And if this
reasoning be just, it follows inevita
bly that the cure for Iloodlumism
must be sought in home training,
and that it will be vainly and fruit
lessly sought in any other direction.
Purity of life, of thought, of speech,
are inseparable. The bov who
talks profanely will think profanely,
and act profanely. Obscene language
indicates obscene thoughts, and jus
tifies the apprehension that obscene
conduct will follow. Indifference to
moral principle, to truth, to reverence
for age, to self-respect, to honesty aris
es very easily from lax parental disci
pline. The parents who permit their
children to have their own way in
infancy, through silly fear of injuring
them, will find that the habit of self
indulgence, once formed, is scarcely
to be eradicated, and that the child
who is taught at his entrance into
life that his whims are supremely
importaut, will develop into a selfish,
heartless, irreverent, and brutal
creature, with astonishing and alarm
ing rapidity. It may be said plainly
that unless men and women can be
induced to do their duty to their
children all attempts at reform the
i ia ri
nsing generation win prove lutue.
You may teach the boys trades, but
until they have been taught the vir
tues of submission, of humilty, of
self-abnegation, their knowledge of
technical matters will avail but little
to eliminate the class of debauched
youth whose ranks are now swelling
so raiud Iv. whose anuaciiy aim reck
lessness are beginning to alarm the i
most thoughtful, and whose future
has already become the most serious
problem this country has to deal
I , -i i r-n 1
with. We fire not opposed to lecn-
nical Education. On the contrary,
we welcome, the prospect of it with
hearty satisfaction. But we insist
that it should be accepted for what it
is, and not mistaken for what it is
not. mat it sliouhl be recogized as
an indirect and partial reformative
agency, and not be relied ,upon as a
panacea calculated to remove com-
pletely the evil against, wnicn
it is
directed.
An Opinion Worth Having.
Thirtv-five years ago Thomas Ji.
Benton, "Old Bullion," as he was
called, savs the Iioxfon Journal, de-
livered a speech upon finances in the
United States Senate, in the course
of which he made some remarks
which sound very much like the ut
terances of to-day. One passage was
follows: "One of tne highest
functions of money is to measure
values. That is a function which
paper cannot perform. The measure
of values must itself possess intrinsic
value, and must itself be free from
sudden or material variations oi vai-
It must have uniform and a uni
versal value. As well might you
attempt to make a measure of lengths
out of that which has no length; a
measure of weights out of that which
has no weight; a measure of qnanti
ties out of that which has no ca
pacity to hold any quantity, as to
endeavor to make a measure out of
that which has no intrinsic value.
The precious metals can alone con
stitute a measure oi values; paper
money can measure nothing, nol
even of itself; its own value is eter
nally measured by its reaction by
its convertibility into specie.
"Eternitv has no gray hairs
The flowers fade, the heart withers
man dies; but time writes no wrink
les m the brow of eternity. Earth
lias its beauties, but time shrouds
them for the grave: its honors, thev
are but as the guihled sepulchres; its
possessions, they are bursting bub
bles.' Not so in the untried bourne.
Jn the dwelling of the Almighty can
-'come no footstep of decay. .....
Human natur iz like cow natur. i
hav known them both tew giv a good
mess ov milk,' and then kick it over.
' Josh Billings. " '
The JLocal Kditor's Dream.
Once upon a .time a local editor
dreamed that he was dead, and in
another world. He approached the
gate of a city before him, and knock
ed for admittance, but no one an
swered his summons. The gate re
mained closed against him. Then
he cried aloud for an entrance, but
the only response was scores of heads
appearing above the wall on each
side of the gate. At the sight of
him the owners 6et up a dismal howl
and one of them cried: "Why did
you not notice the big egg I gave to
you? At this horrid and most unex
pected interrogation, the nnhappy
local turned in the direction of the
voice to learn its owner, when anoth
er voice shrieked 'Where's the piece
you were going to write about my
soda fountain?' And close upon this
was the awful demand: Why uui
you write a piece about old Peddle's
fence and never say a word about my
new gate?' Whatever answer he was
going to frame to this appeal was ab
ruptly cut off by the astonishing
query: 'What did you spell my name
wrong in the programme for? The
man turned to flee, when he was root
ed to the spot by the terrible de
mand: 'Why did you put my mar
riage among the deaths? He was on
the point of saying the foreman did
it, when a shrill voice madly cried:
"What made you put in my runa
way, and spoil the sale of my horse?"
And this was followed by the voice
of a female hysterically proclaiming:
"This is the bimte that botched my
poetry, and made me ridiculous!"
Whereupon hundreds oi voices
screamed: "Where's my article?
"Give me back my article." "Where
is my religious notice, that I brought
in at the eleventh hour?" And in
the midst of the horrid din the poor
wretch awoke, perspiring at every
pore, and screaming for help. The
next day he resigned, and we had to
hunt up another local editor. Dan
bur News.
Miscellaneous Paragraphs.
Who has the fewest wants is most
like God.
Advice to surgeons Keep your
temper or you'll lose your patients.
The theatre of war is about the
only one where back seats are desir
ed. f
La Crosse papers speak of the
schools of that city as " the tanner
ies." Advice to florists Always plant
pillowslips at the head of your flower-beds.
Do not speak of your happiness to
a man less fortunate than yourself.
Plutarch.
Blobbs insists that eating chest
nuts in the dark doesn't give the
worms a fair chance.
No man is always wrong; a clock
that does not go at all is right every
twelve hours.
He that wants money, means and
contentment is without three good
friends. Shakespeare.
The watch-dog's honest bark is not
heard in Hinsdale, N. H. Not a
canine lives within the town limits.
The man who is awfully urbane to
his wife before strangers is generally
also "her bane" behind their bucks.
Every editorial writer on the Bos-
ton Globe wears glasses on the nose,
and all the Louisville writers under
it.
A love-lorn young lady at Dubuque
does nothing all day long but sit and
hold her hands. In the evening her
fellow calls and holds them for her.
- Ttte S40,G0O Cow. The short-horn
- 1 i .1 T 1 . C A 1 1.
COW, luigntu jucness oi vjreneva,iu. l
was purchased at the late New lork
Mills sale, by Mr. II. Pavin Davis.of
Gloucestershire, England, at the
enormous price oi -iu,uow, again
changed hands, and will remain in
America, a part and parcel of the
herd of Col. Lewis G. Morris, of
Fordham, N. Y. It seems that Mr
Davies' agent being unaccustomed to
our currency, in the excitement of
the sale lecame confused as to the rel
ative value of dollars and pounds
sterling, and bid far beyond his au
thorized limit. On his return to
England his principal wrote to Mr.
Campbell, requesting him to dispose
of the cow for his account on as fa
vorable terms as possible. Upon
hearing of this Col. Morris at once
offered the price that Lord Skilmers
dale paid for his prominent purchase,
oi ),b00, which was accepted. In ad
dition to this cow we learn from Col.
Morris that he has purchased the
Thirteenth Duchess of Thornedale.
Twelfth Maid of Oxford. Third
Countess of Oxford, and several oth
er females of prominent breeding
that were disposed of at the New York
Mills sale; also, that he has purchas
ed the ohl bull. Beau of Oxford,
from Mr. Ezra Cornell. These make
a strong combination, and add prom
inence to the Scarsdale herd. Spirit
of the Times.
The Fool John Far Away. I
stooped at the Metropolitan Hotel
at Corinne. I juxtapositioned with
ahistorical cuss the first thing. Says
he, " So he's dead, is he?" Says I,
" Who? " Says he, "Napoleon.
Says I, " Dead as mackerel." Says
he, "Stranger, I'm from the mines
and I only just heard " it." One of
'em died years ago, I believer nnt
what get3 me is, what became of tne
other hundred and nine." Says I,
"Hundred and Dine. My dear sir,
there never was a hundred and nine.
Says he, Stranger, there was &
hundred and eleven of 'em." And
he hauled out a book and pointed to
Napoleon in., and says he, "What s
that but Napoleon one hundred and
eleven ?""" ' .
NO. 14.
What We
Seek.
O
are lookinf
o
That the farmers are looking for
material relief in the organization of
granges, is a fact the most superficial
observer will readily concede. That
many will be disappointed in realiz
ing to the full extent of their wishes
and expectations, immediate busi
ness advantages, is equally evident,
dlome was not built in one day, nor'
will a day or a year enable the Pat
rons to inaugurate a systematic
method of doing business, that shall
be national in character and as effect
ive and perfect in its workings as it
should be. To perfect such a sys
tem, the best executive and business
ability the organization can call to
gether, will be required. A perfect
well organized system of conducting
business, on a cash basis is the need
of the hour. Such a system will
give power aud assistance to the or
der. What we seek and what wo
hope to secure is, an Interchange of
the products of industry in all parts
of our country and the world, at the
cheapest possible rates. We desire
to lessen the number of middlemen
and sell to the consumer direct, and
to purchase, so far as possible, from
first hnds, .whatever we desire to
buy. We seek to get out ofdebt,
and when once out, to so manage as
to keep out. We seek to lessen the
taxes that are now weighing so heav
ily upon us. We desire tu encour
age immigration, and we expect to
put forth au effort in this direction
the present winter that wfll exeifa
marked influence in increasing it.
But we do not seek material pros- o
perity unaccompanied by social ele
vation; we seek the elevation of the
working classes and to exalt- univer-D
sal labor; we seek to throw off the
chains of narrow-minded partizan
ship, and to work together cheerful
ly for the good not only of the order
to which we belong, but for the in
terests of our common humanity.
Rural Wcrld.
n
-' o
Which is Which? "Ah, Pat,"
said a school mistress to a chuckle
headed urchin, into whose muddy
brain she was attempting to beat theo
alphabet, " I am afraid you will never
learn anything. Now what; is that
letter, eh ?"
"Sure, don't you know rnaam?"
replied Patrick.
" I thought you would have recol
lected that much, because it has a
dot over the top of it."
"Och, ma'am, I mind it well; but
sure I thought it Mas afly speck."
"Well, now, remember Pat it's I."
"You, ma'am ?"
" No, no, not U, but I."
"Not I, but U, ma'am. How's
that?"
"Not U, but I blockhead.4'
"Oh! yes; faith, now I have it,
ma am. lou mean to sav that you,
not I am a blockhead."
"Fool ! fool !" exclaimed the ped-
agoguess. almost bursting with rage.
"Jist as ye plaze," replied Pat.
"Fool or blockhead, it's no matter
to mo which ye are so long as ye are
free to own it."
County Papers. The Washington
Ttejmblican thus truthfully speaks of
the value of a home paper:
Ihe newspaper which announces
the state of the markets and ives
information of drouths and floods so
that the farmer may be enabled to
secure the full advantage of the time,
is essential. A family paper, which
is the herald of both jen and sorrow,
and winch, by instructing the youth,
keeps them out of bad society, is
paying its way a thousandfold. We
venture to assert that no family can
either become or remain prosperous
that is deprived of its newtpaper.
Ileal estate and all other property
would depreciate if an organized
county should permit its local papers
to languish or die. In fact, we know
of no class of men who pay their way
so fully as the conductors of the five
thousand local weekly journals in
the United States. o
The Erie Obxerrer gets off the fol
lowing: "In the early days of Pi
thole, the pious oil men thought it
necessary to have a Sabbath school.
One of the leading young men was
chosen for Superintendent. The po
sition was new to him, but he deter
mined not to shrink from the re
sponsibility. Thinking that it would
be proper for him to make a little
opening speech, he cleared his throat
and started as follows: "Children,
you are very fortunate in being born
in a Christian land. There are thou
sands in the world not so' fortunate.
Tt is peculiarly gratifying to know
that you live in that portion of tbP
earth where the rock pours forthQ
rivers of oil. Now my dear chil
dren, there's the Mormons, they wor
ship old Monn: there's the Moham
medans, thev worship old Mahom;
the Heathens they worship old
Heath; there's the Hindoos, they
worship old Hind; and there's the
Pagans, they worship old Pag, while
weworsbip whom we please.
, . -
A movement .is now on" foot in
Pennsylvania to organize a mammoth
chorus to sing at the Centennial Cel
ebration in Philadelphia. II the
project meets with favor and proper
encouragement; mey win cumiucuwj
training at an early day. The chorus
is to consist of five hundred voices,
to be selected from the best Welsh
talent in the Lackawanna and Wyo
ming Valleys. . .
- "Pat," said a
vou make the
traveler, "why did
stone wall around
your shanty so thick?" "Why please
your honor, I bear they have extra
ordinary high winds in Ameriky, so
I thought if I built it about as thick
as it was high, if it blew over ir
would be just as high as it was afore
your honor." . - ,.,r
Socrates thought men -were gods
vho had not found iVsout.
O
o
O
O
.o
o
o