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VOL. G.
OREGON CITY, OREGON, FRIDAY, MARCH 22, 1872.
NO. 21.
OREGON
CITY
71 it m Tn
RPR
ffiljc iDcckln Enterprise.
A DEMOCRATIC PAPER,
FOB THE
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CH .VS. K. WAKltKN'.
F. A. FORBES.
WARREN & FORBES
Attorneys at Law,
OFFICK CHARMAS'S BRICK, MAIN STREET,
OREGON CITY, OREGON,
Nov. 10, ls71:tf
i. M. THOMPSON, C W. FITCII.
THOMPSON & FITCH,
Attorneys sit I;nv,
A NO
Real Estate Agents,
EUCEN C STY, OREGON,
OKKICB TWO DOOUS XOUTII OF THE POSTOFFICE.
REAL ESTATE BOUGHT AND SOLD,
LOANS NEGOTIATED, AND AB
STRACT OF TITLES FURNISHED.
WE HAVE A COMPLETE ABSTRACT
of Title ot all property in Eugene
City, and perfect plats id the same, prepared
with great care. We will practice in the
different Courts of the Stat -. Special at
tention given to the collection of ull claims
that may be placed in our hands. Legal
Tenders bought and sold. sepstr
TORN M. BACON,
rtrr and Dealer in .' JTTf ;
XI CS CCD CL :eksl 9
STATIONERY, PERFUMERY, &c., &c,
Oregon CHy, Oregon.
.t Charmii$m ll'arners old xhind ,1 'aMy oc
cupied by S. Ackenmtn, Main street.
' 10 tf
JOHN FLEMING,
TtV AT Fl? TV
BOOKS AND STATIONERY,
IN MYERS' FIRE-PROOF BRICK,
MAIN STREET, OREGON CITY, OREGON.
DR
J. WELCH,
DSNTIST.
OFFICE In Odd Fellows' Ten-pie, ror
of First and Alder Streets, Portland.
The patronage of those desiring superior
operations is in special request. Nitronso
id for the painless extraction of teeth.
rjy Artificial teeth "better than the best,
jvnd .7 cheap a the cheipext.
Will be m Oregon City on Saturdays.
Nov. 3:tf
Dr. J, H. HATCH,
DENTIST,
QThe patronage of those desiring tirst Cla8
Vpt ration, is respectfully solicited.
Satisfaction in all cases guaranteed.
N. . Xitrout Oxyde administered for the
painless Extraction of Teeth.
Omen In Weigant's new building, west
ide of First street, between Alder aud Mor
iaou streets, Portland, Oregon.
yy 11. W ATKINS, M. D.,
SURCEON. rouTLAxn, Obeg n.
OFFICE -Odd Fellows' Temple, corner
Kirstand lder streets Residence corner of
Win and Seventh streets.
V7. F. HICrHFIELD,
Established since 1849, at the old stand,
Main Strett, Oregon City, Oregon.
An Assortment of Watches, Jew
elry, and Scth Thomas' weight
Clock, all of which are warranted
to be as represented.
Repairing done on short notice,
i ind thaukful for past favors.
CLARK GREENMAN,
City Drayman,
OR EG OX CITY.
All orders for the delivery of merchan
dise or packases and freight of whatever des
criptioa. to any part of the city, willbeexe
cited promptly and with care.
JEW YORK HOTEL,
(Deatfches Gafthaus,)
No. 17 Pront Street, opposite the Mail steam
ship landing, Portland. Oregon,
H. R0THF0S, J. J. WILKENS,
PROPRIETORS.
o
Board per Week $5 00
t, " witb Lodging. ."..'. . 6 00
pa:r t CO
THE GARDES OF CHILDHOOD.
Br AU'IIOXSE DAYTON'.
I know a garden of fragrance,
A garden of golden bloom.
There is sunshine wreathed in the roses,
And stars aglow in the gloom.
I know the pathways turn by turn,
For back in the long ago
I used to cbaae the butterflies there,
Aud watch for the roses to blow.
IIow balmy sweet, in the olden time.
The breach of lhoe dainty flowers;
The moments fell with a silvery chime
To sleep in the golden hours;
And the lilies used to love me then
As they leaned across my feet,
To hold me back in the pathway fair.
For they knew the days were fleet.
As the lilies paled and died away,
And the rones side by side
Have faded year by year, to-day
I am left in the eventide ;
If I know the garden so well, so well,
I never may entei there.
But morn by morn at the gateway still,
I can see the children lair.
Step down through the gilded blossoms
With their faces all aglow.
And I look back through tlje broken days.
To that time when mine was so;
And I wonder oft and olt again,
If the lilies bend as fair
To the little children :n their flight
As they did when I was there.
I wonder now if the yellow gold
On the wings of the butterflies
(I used to think them floating siars
Astray in the silvery skjes)-
Spills down on the lily cups of dew,
As they drift away in '.he light.
To find their homes in the isles of blue,
Asleep on the verge of night.
O ! I am sad, so sad at heart.
For they cannot bring me back
What the lilies say to the roses now,
Or the swuutness life may lack.
I know the path to the gulden,
lint the children can only go,
Passing me by as I sit alone.
And weep in the evening's g'ow.
lire conciliation As a Policy.
From ili-e Washington Patriot
It is impossible to consider in
any comprehensive way the policy
of the dominant party, in regard
to the settlement of those questions
touching the peace and amity of
the country which the war lias left
us as a heritage, without reaching
the conclusion that it is a policy of
irreconeiliation. That they do not
want, finally and forever, a settle
ment of the differences which, first
in war and afterwards in nominal
peace, have alienated and kept
apart the North and the South, is
apparent enough to any one who
will but glance at their past and
present course, aud the obvioiu
motives by which they are con
trolled. The scheme which they
have manifestly laid out for them
selves is to stand as long as possi
ble between the divided parts of
the L inon, keeping them asunder,
which otherwise would come to
gether and heal; to enkindle or
keep alive such animosities as shall
make both sides rankle, especially
that which is the sorest from hav
ing suffered most the South. In
this, now when the common Amer
ican heart is yearning for the re
turn of fraternal feeling and for
forgetful ness of those calamitous
events by which it was interrup
ted, there is a cold-blooded cruelty,
and a callousness to a country s
greatest necessity, which to all pa
triotic and right-minded men,
should clothe the dominant party
with disgrace as with a garment.
In such a position, a position de
liberately chosen for the facilities
it afforded to keep the flames of
hatred burning, or to engender ha
tred where it did not exist, and, as
a wedge, to keep apart the shatter
ed fragment of the Union, there is
something supremely savage and
hateful, alike, unworthy of this
country and this age. It is almost
incredible, had we not the proof
before our eyes, that a great polit
ical party should have no better
office to fulfill than the sowing of
discord and discontent, and by
such means endeavor, in coniunc
tion with the usurped use of arbi
trary power, to perpetrate its own
existence. Yet this wg see on ev
ery hand, with cumulative evidence,
is what the domiuent party are do
ing, I hey are the common ene
mies of peace, the rude disturbers
of the common quiet that should
everywhere prevail, the champions,
under disguise which long since
ceased to conceal their real designs,
of what is in effect virtual disunion.
The great need of the country, as
demanded by every consideration
that could weigh most with those
most solicitous for the general wil
fare, is to set at rest, and quiet for
ever, the disturbing elements which
have survived the arbitrament of
arms, and to renew, among all
classes of citizens, feeling of cordial
and universal good will.' Against
this the Radical party put iiftheir
continual protest.
Not in reconciliation, but in ir
reconeiliation, do they find the food
that nourishes them. To every
measure of pacification, to every
proposition of reconciliation, to ev
ery policy that looks to harmoniz
ing the discordant elements, they
never fail to show themselves
promptly and bitterly hostile. Of
unforgiveness they are crammed
full to the top. Their sight is too
f?bort and too prejudiced to see one
whole country, nor are they capa
ble of comprehending and laboring
for the whole common good. To
consider their party exigencies and
party interests fills up the full
measure of their powers.
They have no policy at all of
which party is not the alpha and
the omega, the beginning and the
end, the first and the last. To it
are all things, and in all ways, sac
rificed, War's ravages are left un
repaired ; peace's necessities disre
garded ; ono half of theJLTnion left
unrelieved amid its ruins ; burthens
accumulating everywhere upon the
people; disorganization of the very
elements of national well-being go
ing on, and all by the betrayal, of
the dominant party, of its public
trusts; but party interests are care
fully looked after. If a measure is
brcnight up in Congress, so far as
it is discussed at all, it is discussed
on party grounds. IIow it will
affect the party, which to them is
the test of right, the test of patriot
ism, the test of statesmanship, is
the question to be decided. Broader
views are not allowed to obtain, A
country's claims to the wise con
sideration of her legislators are not
recognized at all, that recognition
leaves little impress upon the legis
lation. Legislation, except to op
press and humiliate those who are
not in sympathy with the ascend
ant political ideas of the day, or to
enrich and aggrandize those who
are, docs not reach beyond party.
There is no such thing as a compre
hensive policy, or comprehensive
legislation, designed to operate
equally, equitably, justly, without
partiality and without vindictive
ness, upon all classes of citizens
alike and in all sections of the
country. This signally and cer
tainly is the duty of the legislator,
and this duty, by the party into
whose hands the people have con
fided it, has been for years and is
now signally undone. They have
revenges to satisfy, and they do
not scruple to satisfy them ; party
ends to attain, and they stick at
nothing to attain them; they are
blind to everything beyond the
meanest and most ignoble things,
to which men occupying the places
of statesmen can descend. They
stand up brazen in the presence of
the unfulfilled duties due to a neg
lected country.
At the present time the vital
question of general amnesty to the
South, a statesmanlike measure of
pacification, is undergoing the pro
cess of being sacrificed, in the usual
way, by the majority in Congress,
from party considerations. Seven
years have passed since nominal
peace was restored, and these seven
years, it seems, have not suiliced to
dispel the dread of the Radical
majority that the dead lion of the
South would rise again and tear
them to pieces. Such, at least, is
the pretence; and was ever pre
tence either so transparently a
sham or so cowardly? "Was it ev
er before that legislators stood in
awe of a people in dust and ashes ?
Was it ever before that a party,
calling itself great and wise, and
boasting of its strength, stood
trembling before a people stripped
of everything, powerless, helpless,
humiliated, poor, indeed, and sur
rounded with hopeless wrecks?
What an astonishing position for a
great party to even pretend to oc
cupy. The Great Missrox of Women.
Great indeed is the task assigned
to women. Who can elevate its
dignity ? Not to make laws, not
to lead armies led, and empires
governed ; to guard against the
slightest taint of bodily infirmity,
the frail yet spotless creature,
whose moral, no less than physical
being must be derived from her;
to inspire those principles, to in
culcate those doctrines, to animate
those sentiments which generations
3'et unborn, and nations yet unciv
ilized, will learn to bless ; to soften
firmness into mercy, and chasten
honor into refinement ; to exalt
generosity into a virtue with a
soothing care ; to allay the anguish
of the mind : by her tenderness
to disarm passion; by her purity
to triumph over sense; to cheer
the scholar sinking under his toil ;
to be a compensation for friends
that arc perfidious for happiness
that has passed away. Such is her
vocation. The couch of the tor
tured sufferer, the prison of the de
serted friend, the cross of the re
jected Saviour these are theatres
on which her greatest triumphs
have been achieved. Such is her
destiny ; to visit the forsaken, to
tend the neglected ; when mon
archs abandon, when cousellors be
tray, when justice prosecutes, when
brethren and deciples flee, to re
main unshaken and unchanged,
and to exhibit to this lower world
a type of that love, constant, pure,
and ineffable which in another we
are taught to believe the test of
virtue.
The highest luxury of which the
human mind is sensible is to cause
emiles upon the face of misery.
"The Frowzy Foreigner,"
Fiom the S. F. Examiner.
The countrymen of Carl Schurz,
in this State, who so lllogically
went over to the enemy at the last
election, should feel chagrined at
the return they are getting at the
hands of their new party associates.
The Democratic party always and
naturally has been the friend of
foreign-born population, and the
opposition always, and juat as nat
urally, their enemy. The Radical
party being the legitimate descend
ant of the authors of the Alien
and Sedition Laws, can have no
real regard for those 'who have
sought here a refuge from oppres
sion, and consequently all their
ante-election affection is simulated j
ami false. The Democratic party, I
on the contrary, has ever shown,
in liberal laws aud protective
measures, the sincerity of their ex
pression of friendship. Just now
we have a case in point, support
ing our proposition, in the abusive
treatment dealt out to that distin
guished German Carl Schurz, by
the administration aud its Senator
ial satellities and newspaper apolo
gists. One of the former, Senator
Matt. Carpenter, declares that he
considers the naturalization laws a
mistake in policy, as these foreign
ers Schurz for an example al
ways hold paramount allegiance to
their Fatherland. The depth of
this insult we feel more than we
can express; and if our feelings as
Americans are inexpressible, what
can be the feeling of the element
so" malignantly and wantonly as
saulted ? And still worse, an East
Radical paper, quoted approvingly
by the Virginia City Knterprise,
denounces Schurz as a "frowzy
foreigner!" He, the representa
tive German Republican of the
United States, who has gained for
his talents and scholastic acquire
ments a more than national repu
tation, who did so much by his
voice and pen to build up that
party whose leaders now turn their
ungrateful tongues upon him as a
''frowzy foreigner !" If our Ger
man fellow citizens, with their
wealth and standing and intel'ect
ual importance in this country, af
ter the blood and money they lav
ishly poured out in support of the
war, can stand being called '"frow
zy foreigners," and act hereafter
with the party thus contemning
them, we have been mistaken in
our estimate of their pride of spirit
and sturdy honesty of character.
O.
How to Judge a Nswipapsr.
To that class of people who esti
mate the value of a newspaper
wholly upon the amount of original
matter which it contains, we com
mend the following from the Llt
erari Journal :
It is comparatively an easy task
for a frothy writer to pour out
daily columns of words words
upon any and all subjects. His
ideas may flow in one weak, washy,
everlasting flood, and his command j
ot language may enable him to
string them together like bunches
of onions, and yet his paper may
be a meagre and poor concern.
Indeed, the rnero writing part of
editing a paper is a small portion
of the work. The care, the time
employed in selecting, is far more
important, and the tact of a good
editor is better shown by his selec
tions than anything else; and that
we all know is half the battle,
but, as we have said, an editor
ought to be estimated and his la
bors understood and appreciated
1)3' the generul conduct of his paper
its tone, its temper, its uniform,
consistent course, its aims, its man
liness, its propriety, its dignity. -To
preserve these 'as the' should
be preserved is enough to occupy
fully the time and attention of any
man. If to this be added the gen-e-tal
supervision of a newspaper es
tablishment, which most editors
have to encounter, the wonder isf
how they can find time to write at
all.
-
So We All Do. In a little
quiet street up town there is a dry
goods shop bearing the somewhat
singular name "Starusband." It
was never regarded as poetical,
but it was made the medium yes
terday of a very pretty conceit.
A lady, accompanied by her
daughter, was passing along, when
the young lady drew her mother's
attention to tho sign, saying:
"Mamma, I want a star husband."
"So we all do, my dear.'' was the
venerable lady's appreciative re
ply; "but we don't get m,"
-
A girl living in Great Barring
ton announces through the adver
tising columns of the local paper
that " she takes this method of in
forming a certain man that the
next time he desires to gaze upon
her forty-five mortal minutes with
out winking his eyes, she will con
sider herself highly favored if he
will shut his mouth, and .not sit
there like a young robbin awaiting
the parent bird,"
Old Brimstone.
BEOWXLOW, AS HE APPEARS IX THE
SENATE.
TFrom the St. Louis Republican.
There is a natural instinct in ev
ery human bos.om which leads us
to respect age and pity bodily in
firmity, and when a man is bending
under the double weight of years
and disease our sympathies are
aroused and we are even inclined
to cover his disagreeable eccentric
ities with the mantle of broadest
charity. Yet there are
OCCASIONAL EXCEPTIONS
to this rule, and Brownlow, of
Tennessee, is certainly one of them.
So far as we are aware, his private
life is blameless,' and, were it oth
erwise, criticism in that direction
is out of our province; but as a
public man it is not too much to
say that he is a public nuisance,
and should be regarded and treat
ed accordingly. Previous to the
war he was a persistent political
agitator, and the means of creat
ing more bad blood than any indi
vidual that ever dwelt on the soil
of the State he now misrepresents.
When the rebellion broke out he
espoused the loyal side and is enti
tled to proper credit therefor, but
his championship was an injury
rather than a benefit to the Union
cause, and it would have been in
finitely better for that cause if he
had t! irown his influence for the
Confederacy.
HIS OPPOSITION TO SECESSION
took the form of vindictive, unre
lenting hate, and he seemed to lose
sight of all other considerations in
the gratification of personal ven
geance. Nor did his views and ac
tions undergo any apparent change
when Federal authority became re
established throughout the length
and breadth of Tennessee. Con
ciliation and forgiveness are ele
ments tittei l' foreign to his disposi
tion, and for the past six years he
has been a fire-brand in the midst
of the community, intensifying the
bitterness of enemies and carrying
disgust and dismay among the
ranks of friends. Kept alive, as it
were, by the fierceness of his pas
sions, he has survived physical suf
fering sufficient to kill a giant, and
sits to-day in the Senate without
strength enough to rise to his feet,
almost unable to move, aud yet
ready whenever the occasion offers
to fire off a malignant speech
though the medium of the reading
clerk. There is something pittia
ble in such a grim and ghastly
wreck of humanity, lingering on
the verge of the grave; not calm,
peaceful, and dignified, as be
comes his position and his prospect:
but breathing out threatenings and
slaughter like a decrepit demon,
and anxious only to exhibit his ca
pacity for malice and outrageous
abuse.
JJROWXLOW'S PERSONAL ATTACK
upon Beck last -Thursday would
have disgraced the author, had he
not long since - sunk below the
point where disgrace is possible,
and it was an insult to the Senate
and nation. Nor can we see any
good reason why such blatant bul
lying as this of Brownlow's should
be tolerated by the body to which
he belongs. The upper branch of
the national Legislature is neither
a beer garden nor a bar-room,
and surely language fit for ruffians
alone might find a more appropri
ate locality for its utterance. To
suspend the rules in order that
Brownlow might exhibit himself
in his native deformity without let
or hindrance, may be a pleasant
joke for idle and indifferent Sena
tors, but a license ot tins sort is a
shameful outrage upon decency,
and will be so estimated by re
spectable people at home and
abroad.
Clearly Stated. The follow
ing from the Memphis Appeal,
shows most clearly the difference
between Democracy and Radical
ism ; There is a marked difference
between the conduct of Democrat
ic and Republican Congressmen.
When Edwards, a Democrat, at
least elected as such, was ejected
from his seat every Democrat in
the House voted for his exclusion ;
Boles, a straight Republican, secur
ing his place. When the contested
case of Clark (Republican), of
Texas, against Giddings (Demo
crat) was tried, though it was con
clusively shown that Giddings was
elected by fifteen hundred majority,
the Radical majority in Congress
did not hesitate to commit moral
perjury by giving Clark the scat.
Careful. A very careful bride
groom in Cleveland kept the wed
ding ring in his mouth during the
first part of the ceremony, so that
he could find it when the proper
time arrived. He mumbled the
responses all right till the minister
winked at him to produce the ring,
when in his nervousness he swal
lowed it, and was stood on his
head b- the groomsmen to facili
tate its recovery.
Radical Hatred of the Fortigaer.
The old know-nothing element
that many years since sought to
disfranchise all foreigners, exercises
a controlling influence in the radi
cal party, and every now and then
this feeling crops out. An illustra
tion of this was manifested in the
Senate a few days ago when Nye,
of Nevada, taunted Carl Schurz
with his foreign birth. In the de
bate, N)'e, referring to Schurz, used
the following language1:
"Mr. President, I may not be as
fine-spun in theory as my friend;
but I think I have observed as
much about this rebellion, and
know as much about the history of
my country, and feel as deeply in
her behalf, as he can feelor Iicas
born, to this inheritance. Those
points I shall not 3'ield. I submit,
therefore, whether it is becoming
in the honorable Senator from Mis
souri to charge all those who have
handled this subject from the da'
the sword was sheathed to the
present time with a want of con
sideration and of maganimity in
their action."
Schurz came back at the rotten
borough representative of radical
ism in the following style:
": There is only one thing to
which I wish to call his attention
as well as that of the Senate. It
struck me as lather sigular that
the Senator from Nevada should
have said to me 'I am to the man
or born; I know something about
republican institutions;" intimat
ing that I only came from abroad
and still dare to have and express
on American affairs an opinion of
my own. Let' me tell the Senator
from Nevada that as an adopted
citizen I am determined to do just
that thing, and there are thousands
like me who will do the Fame, We
came to this country with a desire
to enjoy the blessings of republican
institutions, and surely our desire
to maintain them is by no means
inferior to his, If he thinks that
we deserve those rights only in
case we follow diis lead, let me as
sure him that he does not under
stand the spirit of American liber
ty. Had I sat at his feet trying to
study the principles of republican
government by his teachings, I
must confess I should so far not
have found it very profitable."
Choking Her. -The La Croose
Democrat noted, a few days since,
the Fon Du Lac Commonwealth
had an item requesting the heads of
families to "choke the hired girls
from the habit of using the kero
sene can to light the fire with in
the morning." The Deniocrat re
lates a sequel: "A few mornings
after, a lady, whose husband is a
merchant and takes the paper,
heard a scuffling in the kitchen,
door, found her husband with one
arm round the girl's neck, and. he
was kissing her and acting queer for
him. She took him by one ear and
asked him how long this had been
going on. lie got the paper and
showed her the item, and, said he
was only choking the girl so she
could not use the kerosene to light
the fire. His wife says he can tell
that to the marines. This shows
how great a scuffle a little fire '
kindleth, when people take the pa
pers." Just Think of Tt. The latest
magnificent sensation, says the
Caucasian, is the theft of six mil
lion dollars, by Grantites, in the
stamp department of the Infernal
Revenue Bureau. The New York
Sni calls upon Congress to inves
tigate. What good in that, Sunny,
with a nation ramified with
thieves? Before Que case is half
done, another similar meteor bursts
upon the astonished view, here,
there and everywhere. Congress
must be Janus-faced to even get a
sight, much less an investigation of
each case. We insist, that before
the elections come on, there will
be no country left to save it will
be spirited awav, carried off, gob
bled up, and hid away. If there
is now a single honest man in office,
he ought to be presented with a
purse by the people, to fortify him
against temptation. Just think of
it: One hundred millions have
been stolen by Radical office-holders
by Grant's low-tragedy rob
bers !
Our Enjoyments. The happi
ness derived from doing deeds
of kindness is the happiest, the
purest and the most lasting of -all
human enjoyments. The vilest
sinner breathing, if he has ever
performed a benevolent act in the
course of his life, knows this to be
true. IIow strange then that so
many thousands should ruin health,
fortune and reputation, in pursuit
of pleasures that turn to ashes in
the end, while they utterly neg
lect this source of enjoyment, ac
cess ible to all, and which not only
brightens life, but' softens the sting
of death.
The man who sat down on an
open paper of capet nails, said they
reminded him of the income tax.
Fact and Fancy.
Saxe describes hotel beefsteak
as an infringement on Goodyear's
patent.
A man that hoards his riches,
and enjoys them not, is like an ass
that carries gold and eats thistles.
Mrs. Gen. Ewell died a few days
before her husband, leaving an es
tate of more than one million of
dollars.
"A feller can't help what's dona
behind his back," as the man said
who was kicked out of the front
door.
Mr. Beck, of Kentucky, says
Clayton of Arkansas, has taken ref
uge in the Senate to escape the pen
iteutiary. Colfax has quit retiring to prw
vate life, and is again a candidate
for Vice-President on the Grant
ticket.
A single saw mill at Puget
Sound, that at Port Gamble, export
ed last year over twenty-nine mil
lion feet of lumber.
The greater the difficulty the
more glory in surmounting it.
Skillful pilots gain their reputation
from storms and tempest.
The darkest day in a man's ca
reer is that wherein he fancies there
is some easier way of getting a
dollar than by squarely earning it.
Seventy of the church edifices in
New York city are Epicopahan,
fifty-five Presby terian, forty Meth-0
odist and thirty-two Roman Cath
ohc. Rev. J. K. Foster, a Methodist
minister of Columbus, Ohio, has
fallen from grace. A pretty wo
man was at the bottom of tho
trouble.
o
It is stated that Hon. Thos. C.
McCreery never filled any office
save that of United States Senator,
to which lie has just been re-elected
in Kentucky
" Fort Hill," the home of the late
Jno. C. Calhoun, was sold at pub
lic outcry, and bought in by Col
onel Clemson, son-in-law of the
great statesman, at $15,000.
There is said to be 23,000 Pro
testants in Turkey, representing
twelve different nationalities, the
greater number being connected
with the American missions.
Lad' Franklin has offered a re
ward of 2,000 for the recovey of
.1 i p 1 t. 1 1 rr
Lilt: recoius ui uie weuus uuu jlci-
ror, supposed to have been deposit
ed in King William's Land.
Two neglected relatives of tho
President have been 'found in Jer
sey City, utterly void of office. :
Inquiry has established the fact that
they did not vote for Grant.
Dr. Holmes was never more ex
actly right than when he said that
"a mellowing rigorist is always a
much pleasanter objection to con
tenjplate than a tightening liberal."
A lady said to her sister, "I
wonder, my dear, you never made
a 'match; I think you want tho
brimstone." To which she replied,
"No, not the brimstone only tho
spark."
A little boy embodied his
thoughts on theology in words
thus: l auln t see now the devil
came to turn out so bad, when
there was no other devil to put
him up to it.
A Virginia editor has come to
the conclusion that a man might as
well undertake to hold himself at
arm's length and then turn a double
somersault over a meeting-house
steeple, as to publish a paper that
will suit everybody,
A Western man makes a hollow
cone of stiff paper, sticks it in the
ground loosely, smears the inside
with gummy oil or oil and resin,
and puts corn in the bottom. Tho
crows put their heads in for tho
corn and find themselves clapped,
At a late Plymouth Church pic-
nic, Mr. Beecher'was asked why
he did not dance. "There is but
one reason," he replied : " I don't
know how. The only dancing
that I ever did was when my lath- c
er furnished the music and used
me as a fiddle. I took all the steps
then.
A lad arrested for theft, when
taken before the magistrate, and
asked what his occupation was,
frankly answered ;
"Stealing."
"Your candor astonishes me, re
plied the magistrate."
"I thought it would," replied the
lad, "seeing how many big 'uns
there are in the same business a
is ashamed to own it."
mt
Fancy Clubs. The Anti-Low
Neck Society is the last effort by
the English reformers, and the war
between Low Necks and High
Necks is waxing warmer. Ther
is talk in Louisville of forming a
" Tie-the-Garter-above-the-Knee
Club." No gentlemen to be ad mi
ted,