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VOL. 6.
OREGON CITY, OREGON, FRIDAY, JANUARY 12, 1872.
NO. 11.
o
ul I 1
i)c Ukckhj Enterprise.
A DEMOCRATIC PAPER,
FOK Til E
Business Man, the Farmer
Ani the FAMILY CIRCLE.
HSIED EVERY FRIDAY DY
EDITOR AX1) rillJLISHER.
OFFICE la Dr. Thessing's Brick Building
o
TE R MS of S UB SCRIP TIOX:
Single Copy one year, in advance,
TERMS of ADVERTISING :
Transient advertisements, including all
leal notices, i sfj.of 12 lines, 1 w.$ 2 50
For each subsequent insertion. 1 oo
One Column, one year $12000
Half " " GO
y.iarter " " 40
liu.-iiness Carl, 1 square one year. . .-. . 12
SST Remittances to be made at the risk o
Subscribers, and at the expense of Agents.
nooir ano job pniXTma.
t8 The Enterprise office is stippled with
.beautiful, approved st vies of type, end mod
ern M.YCULVH PIU-JSES, which will enable
the Proprietor U do Job Piinting at all times
Neat, Quick and Cheap !
S Worn solicited.
AH limine trinsnetiona upon a Specie basis.
B USIXESS CA ED S.
CH.U. K. WARREN. F. A. FOKBK3.
WARREN & FORBES
Attorneys at Law,
OFFICE CHARM VS'S KU1CK, MAIN STUEET,
OREGON CITY, OIIEGON.
Nov. 10, lS71:tf
J. M. THOMPSON, C W. FITCH.
YH fJl.-QOU & FITCH,
Atosoejs sit JLsaiT,
AND
Real Estate Agents,
EUGEFi C3TV, OREGON,
OFFICE TWO OOORS NORTH OF THE I'OSTOFFICK.
HEAL ESTATE BOUGHT AND SOLI),
LOAX.S NEGOTIATED, AND AB
STRACT OF TITLES FUHNI.VIIED.
"E HAVE A COMPLETE AB AT It ACT
of Title of all property in Ei.fjene
City, and perfect platsot the same, prepaied
with great care. We will practice in the
different Courts of the State Special at
tention given to the collection of all claims
that may be placed in our bauds. Legal
Tenders bought and sidd. senStt
JOHN 31. BAG OX,
Importer and Dealer in
SIS GT CIS .E-3L. ZrS 9
STATIONERY, PERFUMEllY, &c, Ac,
Oregon Cily, Oregon.
At Charman Sjr IViirnn1 s old "fond, lately oc
cupied by 8. Ackermtn, Main street.
10 tf
JOHN FLEMING,
DEALER IN
F J?. I. . L.xl
BOOKS AND STATIONERY,
IN MYERS' FIRE-PROOF BRICK,
MAIS STUKKT, ORKKOX CITY, OltKfiON.
R. J. WEL
DENTIST.
OFFICE In Odd Fellows' Ten-pie, cor
of First and Alder Streets, Poitland.
The patronage of thoe desiring superior
operations is in special request. Nitrous ox
ide for the painless extraction of teeth.
fArtiiictal teeth "better than the best,'
and an chetip rs the cheapest.
Will be in Oregon City on Saturdays.
Nov. 3;tf
Dr. J, H. HATCH,
DENTIST.
The patronage of tnose desiring tirst (Tluss
Operations, is respectfully solicited.
Satisfaction in all cases guaranteed.
N. H. Xitrous Oxyde administered for the
Painless Extraction of Teeth.
Office In Weigant's new building, west
ide of First street, between Alder and Mor
isou streets, Portland, Oregon.
""YV 11. W ATKINS, M. D.,
SURGEON, Portland, OttKGtn.
t OFFICE Odd Fellows' Temple, corner
First and Mder streets Residence corner of
Haiti and Seventh streets.
V7. F. HIGHFIELD,
Established since lS40,at the old standi
Alain St feet, Oregon, City, Oregon.
An Assortment of Watches, Jew
elry, and Seth Thomas' weight
Clocks, all of which are warranted
to be a represented.
Kepamngs done on short notice,
md thankful for past favors.
CLARK GREENMAN",
City Drayman,
iSis& -OBEGOX CITY.
$3- AUord ers for the delivery of merchan
dise or packages and freight of whatever des
cription, to any part of the city, wiilbeexe
ui ed promptly and with care.
jNEW YORK HOTEL,
(Deatfches Gafthaus,
No. 17 Front Street, opposite the Mail steam
ship lauding, Portland. Oregon.
H. R0THF0S, J. J. WILXENS,
PROPRIETORS.
o
Board per Week .' 5 00
" with Lodging.. . 6 00
" " T)ij -..7 100
Personal to Ulysses.
THE TRUE MESSAGE OF THE FEES
IDE XT.
The Titusville Courier has, at
an immense outlay, secured and
laid before its readers "the true
message of Ulysses," from which
we make a few" extracts as follows
(we may add that it is addressed
"To the High Old Senate and the
House of Representatives") :
ABOUT MYSELF.
I have had a bully time during
tlic past Slimmer. i ho most of it
was spent in the neat little "cot
tage by the sea," presented me by
the great-hearted Tom Murphy.
31 y share of the seizure of con
traband cigars and liquors at the
New York Custom-house kept me
very well supplied with those
necessities. During the Summer 1
took a trip through the oil regions,
thinking that if any person should
have the foresight to present me
with a paying well I should re
move Colonel Cogswell from the
Titusville Post-office and appoint
the donor to lill the vacancy-. No
one took the hint, however, and
the Colonel remains in peaceful
possession of that valuable ollice.
While he remains in it I am sure
of the earnest support of the
Herald, the first daily in the oil
region. I breakfasted" one morn
ing at the Parshall House in Titus
ville. No one was allowed to eat
with me unless he paid two dol
lars to the committee. This was
a very good dodge, as it kept out
a large crowd. Negroes were al
lowed to pay two dollars, but
were not admitted to the dining
room. In a Southern city this
would have warranted the inter
ference of the Federal Govern
ment, but occurring as it did, in a
city loyal to the core, I thought it
was a pretty good joke on the pre
sumptuous colored individual, who
thought himself fit to eat with the
President of the United States. I
herewith transmit to you the docu
ment having reference to this sub
ject, consisting of copies of the
Tituesville Courier and Iferald.
containing the letters of A. Lee,
G. B. Williams, Jf. F. Cook, II
Hershbcrg, the editorial remarks
of the two papers, and the pro
ceedings of the colored indigna
tion meeting. I would recom
mend that they be placed in the
Department of State for future
reference. At Petroleum Center I
received a kiss from a patriotic
lady. I since learn that her hus
band has committed suicide. There
are other things concerning my
self of which I shall not speak at
this time.
THE CONDTTION OF MY HOUSES.
31- horse-fancier reports that
my horses are now all in good con
dition. I have several very line-
trotters. Last Summer one of
my favorites was suddenly taken
sick, while I was at Long Branch.
I hurried home as fast as steam
could letch me, and secured the
services of the most celebrated
vetinary surgeon in the country.
He saved the horse, but his hill
has not been paid, and I would
recommend that Congress appro
priate a small sum for this pur
pose. The horse is a noble animal,
and should receive the fostering
care of the Government. I here
with transmit to you, Robert Bon
ner's correspondence in relation to
Dexter, and would recommend
that you appropriate a sum sufli
cient to have two million copies
printed and circulated throughout
the country, and also that you
make a further appropriation to
enable me to keep my stables in a
proper manner.
THE LATE PRIZE-FIGHT.
It is a source of regret that the
late prize-fight was not more de
cisive in its character. I am of
the opinion that Coburn is a bet
ter man than 3Iaee. I would re
commend that if they conclude to
fight again, they be allowed to do
so in the hall of the House of Rep
resentatives, and that an admis
sion fee of 5 be charged. The
manly art of self-defence should be
fostered and cherished, and I re
commend that an appropriation be
made to establish a national pugil
istic school, at the head of which
I should appoint my esteemed
friend John 31orrissey".
MY SON FRED.
"When I was a boy, the impe
cunious condition of, my venerable
father precluded the possibility of
my traveling abroad "strange
countries to see." Now that I am
well off, I am determined that my
son Frederick shall labor under no
such embarrassing disadvantages
So I have sent him to Europe in
charge of General Sherman. I de
sire that he should become ac
quainted thoroughly with the
workings of the governments of
the Oid orld, as you well know
that we are all earnestly trvhv to
remodel ours on the European plan
and of course under those circum
stances Frederick would be my suc
cessor. Consequently he should
have that experience and educa
tion which would enable him to fill
the position with that dignity
which I know nothing of. I re
commend that Congress appro
priate the sum of $30,000 to be
forwarded at once to my son, in
order to enable him to travel as
becomes the son of the head of a
-reat nation.
CD
Locking' the Stable After the Horse
is Stolen-
S. F. Examiner.
In his late message the President
says he renews his recommendation
" that the public lands be regarded
as a heritage to our children." It
is rather too late to make this dec
laration. The public lands, the
heritage of the people, have been
most shamefully squandered under
the enactments signed bv Grant.
His veto, had he possessed the
firmness to prevent land robbery,
would have saved millions of acres
for the occupancy of settlers as
homesteads. IJut they have been
granted to soulless corporations.
These lands extend from the lakes
to the Pacific, and from Washing
ton Territory to Arizona, and as
they have not been segregated from
the public domain, the sections re
maining to the Government cannot
be ascertained by the settlers ; so,
practically, the vast heritage of
the people is controlled by a few
monopolists. Hut this recommend
ation of the President sounds like
mockery. The reports of the Land
Ollice made up to June 30, 1870,
showed that there were only re
maining to the Government 050,
000,000 acres suitable for agricul
tural purposes, and that the greater
portion of it was land held by the
various Indian tribes. The public
domain is now held in immense
bodies by a few rich corporations.
3Ianyof these possess greater ter
ritory than any monarch in Eu
rope, and can hold it without ex
pense, because exempted from tax
ation. The most successful efl'ort to
rob the poor for the benefit of the
rich, has been the policy of Grant's
administration, in squandering the
public domain the heritage of the
people.
o
Adroitly Hit. A presiding el
der of the United Brethren Church,
while preaching, was much annoy
ed by persons talking and laugh
ing. He paused, looked at the
disturbers, and said : I am always
afraid to reprove those who misbe
have in church. In the early part
of my ministry I made a great
mistake. As I was preaching, a
young man who sat just before me
was constantly laughing, talking
and making uncouth grimaces. I
paused and administered a severe
rebuke. After the close of the
service one of the oilicial mem
bers came and said to me, 'you
made a great mistake ; that young
man whom you reproved is an idi
ot.' Since then I have always
been afraid to reprove those who
! misbehave in meeting, lest I should
repeat that mistake and reprove
another idiot." During the rest of
the service at least there was trood
order.
The ten largest libraries in the,
United States with the number of
books in each are as follows: Lib
rary of Congress, 1 80,000 ; Bos
ton Public library, 150,000; Astor
Library, New York, 108,000 ; Har
vard Library, Cambridge, 118,000;
-Mercantile Library, New York,
104,500 ; Atlueum Library, Bos
ton, 100,000; Philidelphia" Libra
ry, 85,000 ; New York State Lib
rary, Albany, 70,000 ; New York
Society Library, 5 7,000 ; Yale Col
lege Library, 50, 000.
i
A curious observer of men,
women and things has made the
discovery that ipen and boys in
variably run the heels of their
boots and shoes over outwardly,
while women and girls always run
theirs over inwardly. Out of 147
men and boys that passed the ob
server at a given point this fact
was true in every instance. Out
of 07 women that passed it was
true in every instance but one.
.
Saginaw County, Michigan, rather
prides itself on corpulent infants.
The latest arrival in that line kicks
the beam at eighteen pounds, and
when he inquires for the paregoric
during the lone watches of the
night he can be heard with great
distinctness at a distance of ten
blocks.
-
An ingenious wife in Des Moines,
afilictedwith a snoring husband,
has a gutta percha pipe, with cube
shaped ends ; one she puts over his
nose and mouth, and the other
over his ears ; thus he consumes his
own noise, as a stove does its own
smoke, and wakes up instantly.
Her Object. A Missouri girl
sweetly requested a serenader to
draw a little nearer to her window,
in order that she might quench the
flame of which he was singing
with a bucket of hot water.
The Cost of Taking the Censrs.
Washington Cor. N. Y. World, Doc. U.J
The issue was fairly joined in
the Senate to-day by the consider
ation of Senator Trumburs resolu
tion, in full in the Mrhl recently,
in favor of a thorough investiga
tion with a view of securing re
form in the abuses of the dispensa
tion of power and prtronage by the
present Administration. The Il
linois Senator supported his resolu
tion by an argument full of facts
which had been developed by the
evidence taken by the oM retrench
ment Committee in the New York
Custom House and oilier investi
gations; while Mr. Schurz testified
that that Commitee had done good
service in ferreting out abuses and
corruption in various departments
of the Government. Senators Kd
munds and Conkling were very
prompt to oppose the creation of
any such committee at this session.
They evidently saw that, if crea
ted, it would develop a record
damaging to the party in power.
Mr. Fdmunds got so zealous in his
defence of Grant that he actually
applauded Collector Murphy, and
declared before the Senate that
Murphy had collected more reve
nue than any of his predecessors.
Mr. Trumbull was about to reply,
when the discussion was suddenly
cut oil' by a motion to go into ex
ecutive session. When Trumbuirs
resolution was first introduced few
if any of the Administration Sen
ators comprehended its purport.
They seemed to regard it as an or
dinary resolution of inquiry. The
Senator's speech to-day in support
of it opened their eyes to the fact
that it means something more, and
to- night there is considerable trep
idation in the Republican camp
lest the debate, which is now fair
ly inaugurated, should prove dam
aging to the Administration.
Trumbull, it is understood, did not
open his full budget to-day. He
has some facts of a rather interest
ing character relative to the way
ml
in which the public patronage is
dispensed by Grant, which, if he
is pushed, fie will make public.
Schurz, too, has a stoiy to tell
about the patronage in Missouri,
which some of Grant's defenders
in the Senate may not care to hear,
mce the opening of thesesion the
Administration men were led to
believe that Trumbull, who wan
dered from the fold last spring
with General Logan, was ready to
come back, but to-night they are
satisfied that he is not sound, and
that his resolution must be defeated
at all hazards. They have an idea
that should Trumbull get his com
mittee he would ninke a general
sweeping investigation of affairs of
the Administrtrion, and that the
information elicited would be used
as a campaign document against
Grant's re-election. The opposi
iton to the passage of the resolu
tion is regarded by- all fair-minded
men as a confession on the part of
Grant's friends that his Adminis
tration cannot stand such an in
vestigation as Trumbull proposes.
Morten, Nye, Conkling and others,
propose to attack Trumbull, and
the debate pomises to be lively.
The approprations already made
and asked for to complete the tak
ing of the census show that the
cost will reach at least -Si, 000,000
more than was required to take
the eighth census. It is charged
that a large sum has been expend
ed in maintaining a number of
persons under the United States
Marshals, who were of no service
in taking the census, and are kept
on the rolls at the instance of Re
publican Congressmen for political
purposes. The Committee on ap
propriations reported a bill to-day-giving
450,000 additional.
Sheridan's solicitor calling one
day found his wife alone, and walk
ing about in a state of violent ex
citment. He asked what was the
matter. Her only reply was "that
her husband was a villain." Af
ter some time she added, with some
hesitation, "Why, I have discover
ed that all the love letters he sent
me were the very same as those he
sent to his first wife."
Senator Cragiu has presented a
bill in Congress providing for a
stringent execution of the laws
against polygamy and incestous
cohabitation. It is intended to
strike the Mormons, but as it in
fringes upon the patent of Bigam
ous Bowen and other Congressmen
it will probably fail.
To be a woman of fashion is one
of the easiest things in the world.
A late writer thus describes it :
"Buy- everything you don't want,
and pay for nothing you get ; smile
on all mankind butyour husband ;
be happy- everywhere but at home."
There is a young lady in Cam-
den
, Mass., studying Latin. She
has a beau. Ho asked he what sic
transit gloria mundi meant. She
translated it : " Come and see me
on Monday."
Alexis, as Seen by a Woman-
Mary Slemnier Antes.
The Archle Alexis is over six
feet high, with great breadth and
depth of chest, an erect carriage,
and a head remarkable for height
and development of reverence,
veneration and benevolence. What
ever else lie may forget to do, he
will never forget to say-his prayers.
THE UPPER PART OF HIS FACE
Is of remarkal.de beauty. The hair,
wavy and golden, is cut short. His
forehead is intellectual, his ey-es of
deep blue, large and full, with those
scintillations of ever-changing ex
pression which betray the soul, and
make the finest charm of any- hu
man face. The best of his face is
its manliness. It is a thoroughly
earnest face, the face of a man who
would be no less noble in trial and
adversity than amid all the splen
dors of fortune.
HIS HANDS ARE SIMPLY HUGE,
And have the grip of a polar bear.
At least they are capable of bear
ing more hand-shaking than ordin
ary hands. I saw him go through
the American ordeal the other
evening. He did it with patience
and grace, if not with enthusiasm.
It gave a sturdy, unsentimental
grasp "to the dantiest kid-gloved
hand outstretched to him. But
the face of Alexis told many sto
ries during the process. One in
stant it looked pleased, the next
weary, the next indifferent, and the
next would brighten again. "He
is very handsome and agreeable,"
said a young lady who had danced
with him, " but he has the ugliest
hand I ever saw. And if she makes
the thin, sensitive, nervous Ameri
can hand her criterion, it is not
strange that she calls the giant fist
ugly. It is an ugly, honest hand,
that looks as if it had traveled
down the Romanoff line from a day
when the Romanoffs were not
" royal." If the Grand Duke can
not dance well; he can walk with a
will. Head and shoulders above
the rest of the company, he went
about with Miss on his arm.
The young lady was very graceful
and pretty-, in blue crape, with a
little blue feather and pink aigrette
in her hair. As tiie two went
laughing and chatting through the
crowd, they were fair to see.
IT WAS THE STORY,
Old as the earth, of the youth and
the maiden. In their glorious
young manhood and womanhood,
both were royal. We prose over
the vanity of earthly honors; yet
no less is it the splendor of life to
be born to its purple. It is of
heaven to be born young, beautiful
and beloved. "I was young, tluin"
.Madame Do Stael would say, and
burst into tears, whenever, in exile
or sorrow, she recalled the glory
of ht-r youth. If it is the scion of
an illustrious race, the representa
tive of a vast and friendly- power,
the son ot an Emperor, no less is it
youth, beauty-, bravery- and man
hood, whom America welcomes in
the young man Alexis.
Samuel Bowles, the editor of
the Springfield Jl public tn, has
invented a patent hen-roost. The
peculiarity of the invention is that
of the astronomical contrivance at
tached to the roost, and the hens
are compelled to awaken exactly7
at day- break. It is not generally
known, but investigation shows
that in countries as cold as New
England the hens arc apt to roost
an hour or two after sun rise,
which affects the character of the
eggs and the quality of the young
chickens. 3Ir. Bowles, himself, is
a practical farmer, and has been
investigating this subject for a
great many- years; the result is an
invention which will add largely
to the value of poultry- throught
the country.
A Round Lake camp-meeting
minister, Father Jennison says :
"Woman and the devil turn every
thinir upside down in the begin
ning. God had given to woman a
snecial gift for influence that he
had withheld from man. But Sa
tan had got her in early life, and
she had kept up her wickedness
ever since. I tell you, my dear
sisters, the devil hasn't left yon
alone yet. Satan refused to smite
Job's wife because he knew she
was one of his best allies."
Working it Oct. An old lady
in Orange county, N. Y, who pro
fesses to work out her own salva
tion, has named her furniture after
the Scripture and the Apostles.
Whenever she wants to sit in her
easy chair she telis her servant to
"bring up the Apostle Paul and put
it near the fire."
From the arrow-headed records
of Nineveh, George Smith has ex
tracted the information that Gyges
and Ardys were actually existent
monarchs and not myths.
There are 10,000 physicians in
Russia, which, considering the ex
tent of the country, is a very small
number.
Have we a Healthy Man Among TJs ?
From the New York Evening Post.
It is the custom now-a-davs. in
speaking of the physical condition
of the American people, to assume
that wherever characteristics be
long to them are to be traced back
to women; and as even the casual
observer perceives that we, as a
peoj.de, are subject to various weak
nesses, or disorders, the conse
quence is that the delicate shoul
ders of women are weighed down
with a heavy bundle of eompliaints
and advice. Against this we pro
test. Jt is not courteous, to say
the least ; and besides the assumjv
tion is unsuj)j)orted. When it
comes to a matter of health, the
question is not one of sex, but one
of race; and although it is un
doubtedly true that no peojde can
long maintain itself without healthy
mothers, yet it is just as true that
no people can long mantain itself
without healthy- fathers.
Have we a healthy man among
us ? Yes, as individuals, but he is
not what is called, in current talk,
"the average man." This is the
land of patent medicines, and the
suj.ply is according to the demand.
There are two sjecific causes for
the illheaHh of men. Tn the first
place every man is trying to get on
in life. We bein when we nvo
boys. No one is born to a jdace
in society. Every one is told and
and feels that he must make for
himself a place. And so, that he
may- stej higher uj, he is continu
ally aiming at a star rather than
a tree, or often ex.' .rusts himself in
seeking that whien is still beyond
him.
In the seccond place, the pleas
ures of men often injure them.
The young man at college rows
himself out of health, while the
man of busines mistakes excit
ment for pleasure. There must be
something jumgent and almost ac
rid about even the occupations of
a day s leisure. J here is no time
in these days for one to sit in the sun
and sing songs. Something more
is charged ujion woman. In her
devotion to fashion it is said that
she renders herself unfit to become
a mother. But how is it with
men ? Has not indulgence as often
ruined the father as fashion the
mother ?
A Good One-
Scene in a far Western State. A
village of rude mining huts, called
"houses," "cottages," "taverns,"
etc., though really they were but
"shanties." An old man, sick on
his bed. A friend, seeing that his
end was close at hand, showed him
many kind attentions, and endeav
ored to ease his sufferings in every
possible way. One dayr, when it
was quite evident that the poor pa
tient could last only a few hours,
the friend said to him : " Davis,
it is undoubtedly best that you
should know the truth ; you are a
very sick man, and will, in all prob
ability, live but a short time. Are
your a flairs in the condition that
you would wish to have them? I
should be glad to do anything for
you, you know."
"Yes; they're all right."
" Well, would you like me to
write to anyr of your folks in the
East ? "
"No, not now after it's all
over."
" Would you like me to call in a
minister ? "
The sick man, by a great effort
of will over a weak and shattered
bod-, drew himself up in bed, so
as to be in a sitting posture, and
sternly, most soberly- and earnestly
said :
" Why, Governor, what should
I want a minister for? I never
voted anythinff but the Democratic
ticket in my life ! ".
e
A " girl of the period " com
ments thus on 3Iormonism : " How
absurd ; four or fivo wives to one
man, when, the fact is, women in
these times ought to have four or
five husbands. It would take about
that number to support me de
cently." "I ain't a-going to live long,
mother," said a woe-begone young
ster, one day, to. his maternal ar
ent. " Why not, ray ? " " Be
cause my pantaloons is all tored
out behind," was the answer.
A St. Louis lawyer attempted
to tiy a case, the other day, while
he was half drunk, but the Judge
slojqed him, saying: "No law
yer can practice at two bars at
the same time."
An Enraged jarent " Did y-ou
throw that half-brick at random?"
Weeninir boy "No: I threw it
i at Johnny- Williams." " And did
i vou strike him on jnirpose ? " " No;
I struck him on the nose."
A pew in a fashionable church,
i in most American cities, costs as
; much as the rent of a comfoitable
j house for a year.
Fact and Fancy
Duke Alexis has a foot a foot in
length.
Alexis says he will revisit Amer
ica in 18 76.
Many plain young ladies live tcP
be pretty old ones.
Beer fills many a bottle, and tho
bottle many a bier.
Cents of 1790 are now selling
for 05 in Ney York,
Seventy Swedish immigrants
have just arrived at Savannah.
A raw Jersey rustic ate four
teen oyster-stews at one sitting.
A Savannah man was shot and
killed an hour after being married.
The way to kcej) your s-.tk um-0
brella only lend your cotton one, o
A Tennessee farmer lias raised a
pound of tea, at an expense of -M 5,
It is now said that northern jowa
is underlaid by- a vast coal mine.
It has cost London 3,084,000
for public improvements within five
years.
When is a shij like a scarf-jin ?
When it is on the bosom of a
swell.
The Philadelphia police are to
wear gray coats and grave counte O
nances.
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Forty-one divorces aoday is tho
maximum, so far, in Allen county,
Indiana.
In this year there will be four
eclipses, two of the sun and tw6)of
the moon.
It is low enough to live in an at
tic, but a ground floor is a-basc-ntent.
Judy.
"Ammonia straight" is tho
proper way to call for it in Gree
ley, Colorado.
Dexter, Iowa, has subscribed. o
$10,000 toward building a narrow
gauge railroad.
A royal feast in Africa consists
of four hundred monkeys and ono
thousand yams. o
A New York hotel keeps a pew
in a fashiondble church for tho
use of its guests.
A notice over the sleeping-Par
office, in Atlanta, reads: "Births
can be secured here."
Wm. Shakespeare lives in Ala
bama, and is celebrated as a suc
cessful mellow drammer.
On a cold day-, one likes to see
the fire getting up, yet one grum
bles at a rise in coals. Judy.
From seventy-four tons of wheat
in a new Jersey granary, over
halfatonof beetles were screened.
An Indiana editor says : "We
leave to-morrow for tho county
hog-show, and expect to take the
prize."
A woman lecturer ojiposcs tho
co-education of the sexes, because
" ;f ; r. r i.,Qr.i ..i
in in nut saiu iu iioiu. me cio.su
to ilax."
Colonel Fisk has presented mag
nificent gold medals to the en
gineers who ran the Chicago re
lief train.
IJappy pairs now7 announce their
engagement bv leaving their cards
together at the houses of their
friends.
Sundry intelligent citizens of
Pottsville, Pa., sat up all one
night, recently-, to see an "eclipse
of the sun.
A Georgia parrot informed its
mistress that the house was on
fire, and-thus prevented a large
conflagration.
They tell of a ten-year-old boy
in Ohio who has husked enough
corn this season to buy his poor
mother a square piano.
An English prisoner tried to
commit suicide by burning him
self in the most vital parts with
lighted wisps of paj)er.
An enterprising dentist in a
neighboring citv advertises : "(Jet
your sweetheart a new set gf
teeth, as a Christmas present."
The Grand Duke, when lielped
to some turkey-, said : " Alfbless
me, yes. That's the very dish
my father is alway-s hankering af
ter." A Western journal offers this
inducement : ' All subscribers pay
ing in advance will be entitled to
a first-class obituary- notice in case
of death.
There are two reasons why sornp
people don't mind their business.
One is that they- haven't any busi
ness and the other is that thev
haven't any mind.
A wag says it is folly to expect
a girl to love a man who every
body speaks well of. Get up a per
secution and het affections will
cling so fast that a dozen guardians
can't remove them.
A 3Iissouri horse-thief was hung
to a telegraph pole, while his
way to the voting place, and, ac
cording to the Providence Heraty
" that manner of polling a vote is
calculated to deaden one's interest
in town politics."
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