Oregon City enterprise. (Oregon City, Or.) 1871-188?, December 15, 1871, Image 1

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VOL. 6.
OREGON CITY, OREGON, FRIDAY, DECEMBER 15, 1871.
NO. 6.
r riloiojo
"111'
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A" LECTUHE ' BY WOODHULL.
fp.se lovs. i'.vs-ioc.yt. attraction- and
cei.ks i"!al a it i nit iks.
The Xew York ITcrold of Nov.
21st contains a lone? report of a
lecture by tho Woodhull at Stein
w:y Half in that city on tlio even
in" proceeding. The following cir
cular had been scattered freely in
all the benches of the hull which
is the largest of its kind in Now
York before the audience had
taken their seats :
FIIEZDOU! FllElCDOH! FREEEOM !
IX ITS LAST ANALYSTS :
THE SOCIAL RELATION'S.
If it is ft-ood in the: Rtdipious and IolitIcal
sphere who shall d ire deny that it
THE SOCIAL sphere.
For the express purpose ot si-
lencin" the voices ami stopping me
pens of those who, either ignorant-
anil v or will all, persistently mis
represent, slander, abuse and vilify
her on account of her outspoken
advocacy of, and supreme faith in
God's first, last and best law,
VICTORIA C. WOODHULL
Will speak at Stein way Hall, Mon
day, Nov. 20, at 8 o'clock p. m.,
Ox -t:ik PurNOiruis ok Social Fukkdom,''
Involving the question of Free
Love, Marriage, Divorce and Pros
titution. She wishes it distinctly under
stood that freedom does not mean
anarchy in the social relations any
more than it does in religion and
politics: also that the advocacy of
its principles requires neither aban
doned action or immodest speech.
Horace Greeley, Gov. Iluwley,
of Connecticut, and Boston Exclu
sives, are specially invited to seats
on the platform. All her lesser de
fainers should secure front seats.
Thn 7crald noes on wu
lb its re-
port :
Our reporter found his way into
the hall, which was but dimly light
ed at the moment. Several young
ladies of very bold behauior passed
h'un at the "gate door, evidently
professional and unfortunate in
character. Then came a stream of
verv respectable looking people
men and women some few of the
latter having cultured faces. The
1 "I I " 1 1 ..,..1 Villi
red-headed uriri oouuceu in,
s she threw off her shawl, ilI hope,
by gosh I haven't come here for
nothing in all this rain," and then
she, rlounced down into a seat and
held her place. While waiting for
the hall to till, which occurred very
rapidly, our reporter paid" a visit
behind the scenes to call upon Mrs.
Victoria Woodhull. Going thro' a
s;dc door he found that lady in a
little room off in a narrow passage,
standing talking to her sister Ten
iae C. Clailin. with a roll of manu
script in her hands. The Wood
Jiull had an inspired look, and it
vas very evident that the spirit ot
Demosthenes, a familiar ot ners,
-was upon the lady.
1-v.rr. number ot r ree hovo
jadies and -cntlemen, most of the
iatt.er be'ne' verv homely m feature.
Vcer.mi nnied bv Mr. Stephen Fearl
Andrews, the Groat American Fan
taivhist, now entered the room t
bid ictoria "God speed oeiore
.she went on the stage. Finally,
all having been said, .Mrs. Wood
hull, followed by Tennio Clailin
and the body of reporters, and pro
ceeded by God-like Tilton, march
ed to the stage. As Tilton got on
the stage his friend Moultou cried
to him :
'Are you going to introduce Mrs.
Woodhull to the audience, Tilton?"'
"y0 heaven," said the fiow
cvy Tilton, 'Vmeo no one else has
the pluck to do it.-"
As Mrs. Woodhull walked on
the stage timorously everywhere a
great shout of applause "went up
for her from the audience whi
had literally packed every seat on
the ground floor, the two gailerit.
.and which occupied every foot 0-
standing room m the aislo
hundred ravenous male bipeds
leaned over the platform, standing
Up in front of the audience, and
not less than three thousand per
sons were present, nearly half of
whom belonged to the gentler sex
of the Free Love persuasion.
THE LECTURE.
As Mrs. Wood hull came forward
to the front of the stage to read
her lecture, which she did in a clear
and pleasing voice, the audience
cheering her with much gallantry,
particularly the young men about
town, who were quite noisy and
vociferous. She spoke in substance
as follows :
Jf JSr others and Sisters : I ap
pear before you to-night to discuss
the most delicate and Idiffuut sub
ject in which human interests are
involved; one in which everybody
is interested, as well as directly and
intimately concerned ; but which,
on account of its delicacy and dif
ficulty, almost everybody instinc
tively avoids ; I refer to the prin
ciples of social freedom, love, mar
riage and divorce; or the relations
between the sexes.
There is no escaping the fact that
the principle by which the male
citizens of these United States as
sume to rule the female citizens is
not that of self-government but of
despotism ; and so the fact is that
poets have sun g songs of freedom
and anthems of liberty
HAVE RESOUNDED FOR AX EAfPTY
SHADOW.
Over the sexual relations mar
riages have endeavored to preserve
sway and to hold the people in
subjection to what has been con
sidered a standard of moral purity.
nether this lias been successful
or not may be determined from the
fact that there are scores of thous
ands of women who are denomin
ated prostitutes and who are sup
ported V HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF
i - ,
who snoum, ior nice reasons, aiso
oe denominated prostitutes, since
that which will change a woman
into a prostitute must also neces
sarily change a man into the same.
THIS CONDITION, CALLED PROSTITU
TION, seems to be the great evil at which
religion, the public morality, hurl
their special weapons of condem
nation, as the sum total of all
diabolism ; since for a woman to
be a prostitute is to deny her not
only all Christian but also all hu
manitarian rights.
Now I will put the question di
rect. Are not these eminently
proper subjects for inquiry and
discussion, not in that manner of
maudlin sentimentality in which it
has been the habit, but in a digni
fied, open, honest and fearless way,
in which subjects of so irreat im
portance should be inquired into
IT 1 4T
and discussed r -An exhaustive
treatment of these subjects would
involve the inuuiry what should
be the chief end to be trained by
ENTERING INTO SEXUAL RELATION.
This I must answer by saying
'sood children, who will not need
to be regenerated," and pass to the
consideration of the relations them
selves. All the relations betweeu
the sexes that are recognized as
legitimate are denominated mar-
riage. jhu or wnat uoes marriage
consist ?
Marriage must consist either of
!nni rv ot' 1 -i cinr i r. mnv Y 1 f"
in form with either term absent
this is to say. people mav be mar-
l.x- In.- in,l -ill l.i,.ldn,T
mri tln.v mnv rriso bo mnrriod W
love and lack all sanction of law.
True marriage must in reality con-
sist entirely either of law or love,
ince there can be no compromise
between the law of nature and
statute law by which the iormcr
shall v"eld to the latter.
Law cannot change what nature
has already determined. IS either
will love obey if law command.
LAW CANNOT COMPEL TWO TO LOVE.
It has nothing tq do either with
love or with its absence. Love is
superior to all law, and so also is
hate, indifference, disgust and all
other human sentiments which are
evoked in the relations of the sex
es. It legitimately and logically
ioliows it love have anything to
do with marriage,
THAI LAW HAo VOIDING TO DO
WITH IT.
And, on the contrary, if law have
anything to do with marriage, that
love has nothing to do with it
And there is no escaping the do
ducticn.
Considerable dissatisfaction was
here manifested by the audience,
but after some hissing and cheer
i ig commingled, the speaker con
tinued:
I do not care where it is that
sexual commerce results from the
dominant power of one sex over
the other, compelling him or her
to submission against the instincts
ot love, and where hate, and ri.
gust is present, whether it be in
i the
GILDED PALACES OF FlFTlt AVENUE
or in the lowest purlieus of Greene
street, there is prostitution, and
all the law that a thousand State
assemblies may pass cannot make
it otherwise
I know w hereof I speak ; I have
seen the most damning misery re
sulting from legalized prostitution.
Misery, such as the most degraded
of those against whom society has
shut her doors never know. Thous-
j amis of ; poor, weak,
UNRESISTING WIVES ARE YEARLY
H MURDERED,
whx stand up in spirit life, looking
down niton the sickly, half made
up children let behind, imploring
humanity, for the sake of honor
and virtue to look into this matter,
to look into the fair daylight all
the blackened, sickening deformi
ties that have so long been hidden
by the screen of public opinon and
a sham morality.
It does not matter how much it
may be attempted to gloss these
things over and to label them
sound and pure: you, each and
every one of you, know that what
I say is truth, and if you question
your own souls you dare not re
ply; is it not so? If these things
to which I refer, but ot which I
shudder to think, are not abuses
of sexual relations, what are ?
I would not be understood to
say that there arc no good condi
tions in the present marriage state.
Fy no means do I say this ; on the
contrary, a very large proportion
of present social relations are com
mendable are as good as the
present status of society makes
possible. Fut what I do assert,
and that most positively, is that
all which is good and commenda
ble, now existing, would continue
to exist if all marriage laws were
repealed tomorrow.
At this remark about the mar
riage relation, nearly half the au-
diance rose to their feet and hissed
Airs. Woodhull most vehemently,
while the other half cheered tu
multously ! The noise was really
deafening, and Theodore Tilton
vainly endeavored to make him
self heard. Now and then he
was heard to say
"Ladies and gentleman," and
then the audience would hiss him
down for a few moments, and the
storm would break out anew.
Mrs. Woodhull. excitedly Let
the gentleman or lady who is capa-
ble of hissing or interrupting me
(here she stamped her foot) come
forward on this platform and de
fine their principles fairly. More
hisses and cheering.
Mrs. Woodhull began at some
length to excuse, the stain of ille
gitimacy, when Mrs. Frooker, her
sister, who had been waiting an
riniwii-tmiitv liom her seat m tne
wi'i" - ,
balcony over tne stage, jumpec
d
up, and facing the audience, who
liked the fun and were cheering
loudly, said, directing her remark
to Mrs. Woodhull
"How could you expect to be
recognized in society unless you
knew who your father or mother
was t
Mrs. Woodhull I assert that
-. . -I
there is as good and noble men and
women on' the top of this earth
suffering from the stain ot illegiti
macy as any man or woman before
me, and God knows I do not know
how many illegitimate men or
women there are in this hall to-
nig
ht."
Here the confusion became so
treat that nothing more could be
heard on the stage.
Airs. Grooker,
tl,o eiitor of Mrs. Woodhull. Would
not sit. down on her loftv perch in
the balconv. and kept facing the
audience, who cheered her loudly,
while several ladies w ho sat by her,
r.o,-;,, o i lott t w.ir r.its nni
retreated into the inner box.
Mr Tilton Lndios and nrfMiilo-
men. sometimes there occurs in a
public meeting an incident like
this, in which Americans vindicate
the rhdit of free speech. You
shall all be heard if you only give
T iiM-.i;t cn v liinvrivnv
that this lady has hired the hall,
and she
is entitled to be heard
first.
Vt this juncture a policeman
rme out of the rear box to the
open balcony w
l,rvr mo kor
themselves pel
soeh a storm of indignant
Lwcbwr
lit- - .
and groans, mingled with counter
, ,1 il.rt4 thn im.
broke iorin mat uiu un
lucky policeman was compel ieu
immediately to vacate use uo.v ami
disappear from view.
Air. Tilton I see that you nae
'? let
vindicated free speech. Now
Mrs. Woodhull be heard, .and you
xlmll be heard in vour turn. I saw
the policeman put his hand on the
lady in the balcony. .Now tne
lady in the balconv shall also be
heard. .Mingled cheers and his
ses.
Woodhull, who had shrunk
Mr:
-' ... ..-... i.; L- to the an- ua dv is simply the an
wrist, turning, - - - - - .
' ... i. ,-i trt d.-T.r the sta"-e of development who
dience, eimi.n uii --- - , w
, , . ' . v,.,.rir man and woman passions rule supreme. W
: ?, '-i: "o,, t. t ids hi.di-hand- be more terrible than for a t
ed ding 'seemed to consider sensitively organized wo
mi to on, lure t
1
i
back timidly during the uproar
with her manuscriptcame forward
and said boldly, "Yes, I am a free
lover 1 I believs I have an inalia
ble right to change my husband
eyery day if I like. I trust I am
understood, for I mean what I sav
and nothing else. I claim tha"t
freedom means to be free."
Here the wild young men in the
audience cheered most tumultu
ous y, mid Mrs. Frooker sat down,
her forces broken but not yet ut
terly routed.
Mrs. Woodhull then continued
her lecture as follows :
It skeins to melhat no grosser
insult could be offered to women
than to insinuate that she is hon
est and virtuous only because the
law compels her to be so; and
little do men and women realize
the obloquy thus cast upon society,
and still less do women realize
what they admit of their sex by
such assertions. I honor and wor
ship that purity which exists in the
soul of every noble man or woman,
white 1 pity a woman who is vir
tuous simply because a law compels
her.
It may be proper and legitimate,
and withal perfectly consistent, for
the, philosophers of the Irlbune
school to bundle all the murderers.
robbers and rascals together ami
hand them over to our camp label
led as Free Lovers. We will only
object that they ought to hand the
whole or humanity over, good,
bad and indifferent, and not assort
its worst representatives. Among
the cases cited as evidences of the
evil tendencies of free love are
those of Richardson and Critten
den. Why? Feeause she be
lieved in the spirit of the marriage
law ; that
SHE HAD A RETTER RIGHT TO HIM
than had Mrs. Crittenden, to whom
the law had granted him: and
rather than give him up to her, to
whom he evidently desired to go,
and where, following his right to
freedom, he did go, she killed him.
Could a more perfect case of the
spirit of the marriiige law be for
mulated i Most assuredly not !
Now, from the standpoint of
marriage reverse tins case ro mat
of free love and see what would
have been the result had all those
parties been believers in an dprac-
tieors ot that theory. hen .ur.
Ciittenden evinced a desire to re-
turn to Mrs Crittended, Mrs. Fair,
in practicing the doctrine ot iree
ove, would have said 1 have no
right to you, other than you freely
give; you loved me, and exercised
your right ot freedom m so doing.
You now desire to return to Mrs.
Crittenden, which is equally your
ri"ht, and which 1 must respect.
(io, and in peace, and my blessing
shall follow ; and if it can return
you to happiness then will you be
tappy.
ould not that have been the
better, the Christian course, and
would not every soul in the broad
land, capable of a noble impulse,
and having knowledge ot all the
relevant facts, have honored Airs.
Fair for it? Instead ot a murder,
with the probability of another to
complement it, would not all par
ties have been happy in having
done right? Would not Mrs.
Crittenden have loved Mrs. Fail
C o,,,.li -! nvomr.in rt iirtlilllt-
1U1 " t 1 L I I till t.UUII 1 llww.iavT,
and could she not safely have re
ceived her even into her own heart
and home, and been a sister to her,
instead of the means of her con
viction of murder ?
I know too well the miseries of
the married state. While in the
profession of a clairvoyant thou
sands of poor, heartbroken bus
bands came to pour their sorrows
into my car., (Cheers and laugh-
-t I 1 t f 1
tor. ir our sisters wno miiaoiL
Green street and otnei imny to
calities choose to remain m dcr
bauchery they are only exercising
the same right as our brothers who
visit them. (Applause.
est women of a town in the State
of New York some two years ago
organized for the purpose of put
ting down prostitution. They
pushed the matter until they found
their own husbands, brothers and
tovers m mese nouses oi piosum-
I r ,
tion; then they desisted, and nom-
ni'r lias oeen noaru tu me moe-
Fromiscuitv m so
archical
rein the
hat can
lelicate,
man to
io pros
once ot a boast HI tUC SliapO OI l
I v,.-- - - - .
man wno Knew
i i.
nothing beyond
ti
the blind passion with which he is
tilled, and to which is often added
the delirium of intoxication? I pro
test against this form of slavery
I protest against the custom which
compels women to give tho control
of their maternal iuncimna uu-i uj
anybody. It should be theirs to
determine when, and under what
circumstances, the greatest of all
constructive processes the forma
tion of an immortal soul should
I,,- beo-un. It is a ieanu! icuum-
bilitwith which women are en
COURTESY OF BANCROFT
trusted by nature, and the very
last thing they should be compell
ed to do is to perform the office of
that responsibility against their
will, under improper conditions
or by disgusting means.
Mrs. Woodhull then concluded
her lecture with an eloquent per
oration, strongly advocating the
cause of free love.
Airs. Frooker (rising in the bak
cony) I want to know how it is
possible for Mrs. Woodhull to re
form the ladies in Greene street,
if she is in favor of promiscuous
intercourse ? Applause and laugh
ter. Here the audience dispersed.
Figures for Tax-Payers.
Some political economist, deplor
ing the indifference with which the
American people regard the profli
gacy of the powers that bo, and
how lightly they speak in connec
tion with public expenditures and
Fadical defalcation, has gone to
the trouble of computing what
a million dollars really is, and
gives this as the result:
A million of silver dollars pos
sesses a vastness that is rather
startling to a man who lias never
faced a pile. To count this at the
rate of one thousand and five
hundred dollars an hour, and eight
hours a day, would require a man
nearly three months. If the said
dollars were laid side by side they
would roach one bund reel and
thirty-six miles, while their trans
portation would require fourteen
wagons carrying two tons each.
c are enabled by the aid of
this to arrive at some other facts
that should be made familiar to
the tax-payers of this country.
Figuring from this basis we find
that the Fadical paymaster,IIodge,
who was caught last week, stole
$500,000 from tho United States
Treasury, that he took dishonestly
just sixty-eight miles of silver dol
lars, or seven wagon loads of the
precious metal. When Norton,
the Fadical theif who plundered
tho Treasury through the New
York post office, and whose steal
ings came to light the same day of
Hodge's exposure, stole over -Si 15,
000, lie gobbled about fit'teon miles
of silver dollars, or over a wagon
load, weighing over two tons.
The Fadical postmaster at At
lanta, Georgia, who defaulted
about the same time for over -$30,-000,
gathered home some four
miles of dollars, or a good load
for a single drought horse.
The three hundred Fadical col
lectors and assessors, who together
defrauded the Government out of
820,000,000, and none of whom
have yet been prosecuted by Grant,
got a grand aggregate of 2,720
miles of silver dollars, or 3S0 wag
on loads, making 5 GO tons.
Tax-payers will find in the above
food for serious reflection. We
have here introduced but a few of
tho notable defalcations that the
rings at Washington were unable
to keep from public gaze, but they
are sufficient to explain to the
Amerioam people why they are
required to p-iy such enormous
taxes, and why the expenses of
the Government annually reach
astounding figures.
A Hint to Parents. Nervous
children suffer untold agonies from
fear,when put to bed alone. No
tongue can tell the horrors ot a
lonesome room to children. A
little delicate boy whom his parents
were drilling to sleep alone used to
cry violently every night and his
father would come in and whip
him. He mistook pertinacity for
obstinacy, and he thought it his
duty to conquer tho child's will.
One night ho said :
"Why do you alwavs scream so,
when you know you shall be pun
ished ?"
"O, father, father !" said the little
fellow, "I don't mind your whip-
oinrr me. it von only stay with
mo."
The father's eyes were opened
from that moment. He saw that
a human being cannot be governor
by dead rules, like a plant or ani
mal. Jot ix Quincy Adams was re
cently waited qi by a committee
appointed by the Massachusetts
Woman Suffrage-seekers, and was
asked to define his views. He
thus declared himself in a letter to
the Committees
After careful thought and some
stud v, I am firmly and unequivo
cally opposed to woman suffrage
and snail io.ei it my duty m tne
very ltnprooaoio contingency or
my ever occupying any considera
ble public office, to stand by the
ill . - f
old immemorial division of activi
ties and functions which seems to
bo at the foundation of society.
Cool. -The Duke of Wellington
was once in danger at sea, when,
just before bedtime, the captain
came to his cabin, and announced
that in a few minutes all would be
over. " ery well," said the Duke,
im t t,u
then I shall not take off my
- Loots.
LIBRARY, I -
Face the Figures.
The vote for Willers, regular
Democratic candidate for Secreta
ry of State, was, in this city, 83
314. The vote for Led with, Tarn
many candidate for Judge of the
Supreme Court, was 46.150. This
shows that 37,158 Democrats in
this city who voted for the Roches
ter State Ticket would not vote
for Lodwith.
hat became of the votes of
these 37,15S Democrats? Scribuer,
Republican candidate for Secretary
of State, received in this city,
54,132 votes. Farrett received for
Judge of the Supreme Court 88,2S0
votes, or 34,1 4S more votes than
Scribuer. Where did Farrett get
this excess of vctes over Scribuer?
Of course from the Democrats who
voted for Willers, but would not
vote for Lodwith.
Shandley, Tammany candidate
for Register, received in this city
53,427 votes, or 2S.877 less than
were given for Willers, Democratic
candidate for Secretary of State.
Sigel received for Register 81,753
votes, or 20,326 more votes than
Scribuer, Republican candidate for
Secretary of State, obtained.
From whom did Sbrel m-t those
extra votes over those given to
Scribner? Of course from those
28,887 Democrats wdio voted for
Willers, but who refused to vote
for Shandley.
We might take the figures given
for all the candidates in this city
at the recent election; and show
similar results. Indeed, we might
work out the problem throughout
the entire State, and the product,
would be of a corresponding charac
ter. And yet, in tho face of these fig
ures, there are a great many fools
who claim the results ot the
tion in this city and in the State as
a Repuolican triumph, while there
are others who are stupid enough
to claim it as a verdict in favor of
Grant's renomination. AT 1
The Squires Indigestion. Old
Squire H was a very successful
and substantial farmer, in an inteii
or town of Massachusetts, and a
more amazing eater never lived in
any town any where. And espe
cially much did he oat when fresh
pork was to be the nourishment.
Well, at a certain time one of his
hogs had been killed. The next
morning there was to be fresh pork
for breakfast, and the old man eat
most wondrously. In the course
of the forenoon he ate his lunch,
consisting of bread and butter and
mince pie and cheese. At noon
his dinner consisted of fresh pork,
pickles, mince pie, and the usual
accompaniments. His afternoon
unch was like that of the forenoon.
When he came home to his supper,
us favorite dish had been prepared
as part of that meal. The old man
retted and scolded till fresh pork
was added to the substantial. He
ate voraciously, as usual. In the
evening lie toasted some cheese,
lettered and ate it. Just before
going to bed he roasted a couple
of apples and ate them. In the
night he was taken with a severe
colic; the doctor was with him till
morning, and wrought a miracle in
saving the old man's life. The
next day Folios W., one of his
neighbors, wont in to condole with
the old Squire. "Faithful Folios,"
said the old worthy, "I liked to
have died last night. I"ll never
eat another roast apple as long as
I live. I never did love them very
well; and last night I ate only two,
and they nearly killed me."
Womanly Mopesty. Man
loves the mysterious. A cloudless
sky, the full-blown rose, leave him
unmoved; but the violet which
hides its blushing beauties behind
the bush, and the moon when she
emerges from beneath a cloud, are
to him sources of inspiration an
pleasure. Modesty is to merit
what shade is to figures in paint
ingit gives it boldness and promi
nence. Nothing adds more to fe
male beauty than modesty; it sheds
around the countenance a halo of
light which is harrowed from vir
tue. Fotanists have given to the
rose hue which tinges the cup of
the white rose the name of the
"maiden blush." This pure and
delicate hue is the only paint Chris
tian virgins should use ; it is the
l ichest ornament. A woman
without modesty is like a faded
flower, which diffuses an unwhole
some odor, and which the prudent
gardener will throw from him.
Her destiny is melancholly, for it
terminates in shame and repent
ance. Feauty passes like the flow
er of the albo", which blossoms and
dies in a few hours; but modesty
gives the female character charms
which supply the place of this
transitory freshness of youth.
SOKRY.-
tho death
-An Indiana paper notes
of a subscriber, and
I touching v adds ; " e are sorry io
i hear ot tne ueaui ui ai.j
i ..i. ;pra ivlm nrfi prompt about
paying
us
DvsrEPsiA. The celebrated and
very clever Dr. Abernathy, of Lon
don, once opened his mind to an
American, who sought advic3 in
his sufferings from rlvsnpnsJa.
"I'll be hanged," said he, "if I ever
saw a Yankee that didn't bolt his
food whole, like a boa constrictor.
How the devil do yon expect to
digest food that you neither take
the trouble to dissect nor the time
to masticate? It's no wonder you
lose your teeth, for 3rou never usg
them ; nor your digestion, for you
overload it; nor your saliva, for
you expend it on the carpets in
stead of on your food. It's dis
gusting; it's beastly. You Yan
kees load your stomachs as a
Devonshire man loads his cart, as
full as it can hold, and as fast as he
can pitch it in with a dung-fork,
and drive off; and then you com
plain that such a load of compost
is too heavy for you. Djrspepsia,
eh? Internal guzzling, you mean.
I'll tell you what, take half the
time to eat that you do tC drawl
out your words, chew your tooa
half as much as you do your filthy
tobacco, and You'll be well in a
month"
The Way to Prosper. A good
story is told of a man in a City
not more than fourteen miles dis
tant from New Bedford, wdio on
the ceremony being performed , of
uniting him, for better or for worse,
in the holy bonds of wedlock with
a lass from the country upon whom
he had for three successive weeks
bestowed his adorations, immedi
ately made application at an intel
ligence office for a situation for his
spouse as a domestic. This was
considered a shrewd act by the ac
quaintances of the liege lord, but
the stoy increases in interest when
it is known that after obtaining the
desired situation ho, pretending to
seek the better enjoyment of the
connubial felicity incidental to his
newly formed relations, obtained
board under the same roof. The
best of the story is not told until
the fact is disclosed that lie manag
ed to have the weekly earnings of
his better halt retained as payment
for his own board.
Present-Takers in France.
The Countess l)e Centre has been
tried before the Correctional Trib
unal of Paris and sentenced to threeo
months' imprisonment, with a fine
of one hundred thousand francs,
for attempting to corrupt a public
functionary. The public function
ary wras the inspector of a cattle
market, and the manner in which
the Countess attempted to corrupt
him was bv making a valuable
present to his wife. It will be seen
that present-taking by public func
tionaries or their wives is not con'
sidered a reputable practice in
France; which would render it a
very uncomfortable place of resi
dencc for the Grant family.
A VERY SENSIBLE WOMAN. A
ady in Iowa has published her
. 1 "1 IT
eason ior opposing me oman
Suffrage proposition, and she con
cludes as follows:
I do not believe that all men are
so terribly false and untrue to their
marriage vows as some would
make it appear. Fut admit for a
moment that it is so, and why
must women have the same rights?
Let custom accord to women all
that is now charged to men, and
where would be tire restoring influ
ences of public opinion that hold
in check many ot the "women ot
the period?" You may look a$
this matter in whatever light you
will; but simmer it down, and it is
but a quarrel with the Almighty
that we are not all men.
"Five years ago," remarks the
Philadelphia Court Journal, "we
fought the Democracy with tho
spelltngbook ami whipped them.
This year our weapon is the arith
luetic, and is just as deadly." To
which the the Cincinnati Enquirer
responds: "Precisely. It is hard
to boat your arithmetic when there
are divisions in our own ranks j
when additions are made to ypig?
party by the use of the bayonet j
when your votes are multiplied by
repeaters and revolvers, and oup
ballots subtracted from the box by
rascally judges."
1 e
His Opinion-. The Chicago
Journal the Rev. Mr. McConk.
lin of Philadelphia, and formerly
of Chicago, recently refused to ab
low his church to take up a collect
tion for suffering Chicago, on the
o-rouud that he know the city well,
and in his opinion the recent calara,
ity was a manifest indication of
the displeasure of Almighty God
with the wickedness of the city,
and he did not propose to meddle
with the affair.
.
Many Deaths. Some fellow
with plenty of time on his hands
estimates that Dr, Livingstone has
suffered thirty-five newspaper
deaths within the last seven years.
And yet he is not a dead Living
stone.
s
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