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About The Weston leader. (Weston, Umatilla County, Or.) 189?-1946 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 8, 1915)
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ae oaoaS hi ataee) mnw
L M. WALKER.
A POSITION FOR YOU tSKS
en! e MH P
VM Iti.aaaaa to keajred r
haa threw HOIJ-fcS
Holmes Business Collcso
n School IW (Wtt awe e WJaroa.- fesaTe,rrtBp4fc.
If r are tM.kleej .?;
M f.U . a. (er CAT AUMitk AH0
KKkUl. eaU aa aaa J
"USE THE RIVER"
Dalles Columbia line
f er OmIiiIk or TV MhafcOrn.
rWleJ II P. .eere rt T "
II al. niaawitra I N. Ti. lkJ K"
Twin Cture for Up par Cele.b.. aad Mate nrer
Idea eai (Mi b Teee, Ce, rwSal
testes stout wrnorro
CoWer Bl-e r fcew-
frMk, nuu: Harewaa er
na M aei rV
etkor miliil KJL
v-me far main n4 m'uiwifc
li Mm IIMkM Pw t M
M-See. eM. BlaaMaJ PW. .at
rt er. M raturt fc
t.e wiiiinr of cwiaf p-.oth aa. ee a
TM CUlIla lABMATSIV. Swtalea. CaietorcaY
We pay cash
. fshia aa mar
C ITT HAKhCT.
WT Froat SL. Pertieaa. Oram
. Followed Instructions.
"Craclou. rata!" exclaimed tha doc
tor when Mr. Glubblns calls Mm la a
hurrr. "Youre temperature Is rioting
along near the danger point, and
"And I'm worse off than I ever was
before, aU through the diet 70a pre
"Impossible. Mr. Glubblns. I told
you distinctly to confine yonrself to
such food as would be taken by a
"And didnt t obey orders? I ate
apple cores, dog biscuits and enda of
burnt matches and scraps of peeling
and everything elie I could pick up
while no one was looking, and here I
am pretty nearly dead!"
Hastily reflecting upon the gaatro
norolcal tendencies of the average
yearold child, the doctor tells Mr.
Glubblns that he has been overdoing
the diet and will have to subsist on
oft toast and hot water for a week,
- A Reminder.
Dobson What does Blifkia remind
Hobson Well, every time I meet
Blifkin he reminds me of a little debt
I've owed him for over a year. Chica
' A Pertinent Question.
The Fond Mother Nice girls never
put themselves forward Before at
men. . ' ;
The Wise Daughter Then how dq
the men find out that they're nicer
PUtaa vai bridew awdaia
mr w iafaoratorr.
Of5ea afaaolotelr daaa.
iMtraanB ttaorousalr esav
CnnaUat awaeamr to io wvk
Dr. Elof T. Hedlund
S4B)Har(U BalMias. k Haar. Waakiastea
Naar BnaSwar, ftrtlaaaV ln&
fOR OUT-OF-TOWN PEOPLE
"! Oraaos anal Waaaine
i Urn aanataiitlr vialt our
joffleate Santal traat-
mot Onrakill iaae
IkDAWIadcad. and aur
i prooucaaaa la &nih- I
I ina work te om Say '
wan roaaawa wappro
feaKUd by oul-oX-Uiwa
4 Dr. Wiaa la afalaa-
tooth rprt. Thar ia
j "ALWAYS ONS BUTT
' ia ararr cailias, ani
J' Dr. Wiaa hura dalaj to
thiadntineUw in Ora
(on. a 1W I 1 1 i 1 1 1,
' LOW PRICES FOR HIGH -G KADI WOKK.
Coo Maa Kabfcar PtaM. each IMS
Ike Sort Kl Kabbar Piaaah aach IM
WISE DENTAL CO.
' KEUABUC PAINLESS DENTISTS.
taH Mi Strait, PaUlas BM, ParHaat
a a Car. Tair Wiahlaiaftjlaa
G Gee Wo
al raaaadiea eara al
'Ittnda at ailmanta at
aaa f jal wonaM with
out aparation. uooi
froaa the wotxlerful
Chinaaa aarba, root.
buda ami reratabtaa. which are rakawwa to
the medical ecMBee or tola aouatrr.
Writ for blank and ctrrulara. Semi
CONSULTATION FHA.K. Addreaa
Tht C Gee We d'mtst fk&entt Cs.
ICttt Flrrt St, Partlaad. Ore.
r.n.v. He. si. una
wrfuas ta aeliwuaara, awaas aam,
" ilea tale paper.
Hi! SELECTIilG A SCHOOL
Ceaader theSaceeaeer Failure f lu Uradaateo ia
the World ef Service. The IWeake-Walkar KitlMM
CcHoffe Radtatta Baccese-the School Meet lag K7
Tw This Character.
Baaea - WaBaw ateeeasj eawleril
- rar - aro
Oa s'aauataa aun M aalartia reeiie.
Aeroplanes ef Russian Make.
BuknomUaoS saw that a weak point
la the Ratals army was that too
mack of It equipment came from
thread m vulnerable lltaaUoa la war
tint, as the present shows So he
set himself sully building up arms
factories, cartridge factories, and so
oa wtthta the boundaries of Russia.
Ad at the tame time established a
ceatral laboratory where aew mechan
isms, explosives, laveatlona might he
- Be also organised sad this gives as
the measure of his foresight a first
class school of military svtaUoa, and
set the beet Russian mechanics at the
development and manufacture of aero
plaaea. which today take the place of
cavalry as "the eyea of the army." ne
lesult la that for the last tour or five
rears Russia has been making her own
aeroplanes and training a large staff
of officers able to use them. Sukhom
Unoff also developed aa eff active corps
of army automobiles, tor the rapid
transport of men and supplies.-
icaa Review of Reviews.
The Dutch at Whitby."
Whitby's last experience of naval
warfare was rather curious. Ia June.
1S3C. two Dutch warships chased "a
plckrooa belonging to the king ef
Spain into the harbor, and though In
antral water. England being at peace
with both combatants, lowered their
boats to board the Spanish vessel.
The governor of the town. Sir Hugh
Caolmley. protested, but the Dutch
carried out their design and captured
the enemy's ship. Thus aet at defi
ance. Sir Hugh called ap the trained
bands, took boats, recaptured the
Spanish ship and took prisoner one
of the Dutch captains.
Whitby's chief fame is that from
tts-abbey emerged the first English
singer, Caedmon. He wss remarkable
among hla fellows tor bis Ignorance
of such simple sUO la the art of song
as belonged to the monks of those
days. Pall Mail Gaxetta.
Another Edison MarveL
' Whea the telenhoaa was nothing
mora than an experimental toy la 1870,
Mr. Edison predicted that this form of
communication would not be perfect
nntil combined with the phonograph.
an that tolrnhnna messacea Would be
recorded automatically. And now. for
ty-five years later, when fifteen mil
lions of conversations are carried an
nually over the telephone wires, air.
Edison is ready to exhibit at the Pan-ama-Paclfie
fair for the first time the
telescribe. a comblnstlon of the tele
phone and dictaphone, which will put
upon s cylinder for reproduction every
syllable uttered Into the transmitter.
A little thought will enable any one
to realize what a revolution will be
wrought la commercial and legal af
fairs when a telephone conversation
cab be proved beyond dispute as read.
fly aa a written document
Wees of sn Author
"How's your new book coming on?"
"Passably welt The demand isn't
what it should be. I mean among pur
ehssera And. of course. If people
don't bay the book there's nothing in
It for me."
"I see. By the way, I'm reading It
sow. BInks loaned me a copy that
Tompkins borrowed from Bradley.
Pretty fair story." Cleveland Plain
NCW MOOERrt DANONC
K. Fletcher Baliansora. the kwdtna Dmnrfog Ex
pert mmi Inatrurtor ia Nnr York Ctf. am tea: 1
Lave need ALLEN'S FOOT-EASE, the entieeptk
powder to be ahatea Inte the ah aea, tar ten reexa,
osd leoaaaaeDd it to all mr Dnoila." It eoreo and
prowata aara (oat. Sold br al! Dros and Depart
mmtlitaea. tbc Sample FKEE. Addraaa. Alloa
"Does BHggins work?"
"No. He has an office downtown
so that he can keep out of the way of
the servants in his house." Washing
It is a positive fact that the moment
resinol ointment touches any Itching
skin, the Itching usually stops and
healing begins. With
the aid of resinol
soap, it quickly
clears awsy all trace
of eczema, ringworm,
or similar torment
ing, unsightly erup
tion, leaving the skin
clear and healthv.
And the best of it Is you need never
hesitate to use resinol soap and resin
ol ointment There ia nothing in them
to Injure the tenderest surface. Res
inol Is a doctor's prescription which
for twenty rears has been used by
careful pbysicisna tor all kinds of skin
affections. Tbey prescribe resinol
freely, confident' '-that Its - soothing,
healing action is brought about by
medication so bland snd gentle as to
be suited to the most delicate or irri
tated skin even of a tiny baby. Every
druggist sells resinol soap and resinol
HUNDREDS ARE LOST
AlOIIG GULF COAST
l!-ry r!ir:::i h Trees c-d
llUMUVfJ 1.1 llwva) Lint
rsoraiY loss tsnsAito 12 1:10c?
Several Towns Art Completely Wiped
Out Packet Upsets and Eight
Passengers An Drowned.
New Orleans The number of known
dead, reported dead and parsons misn-
Itur in Louisiana and Missiaslppl as
result of Wednesday night s tropical
hurricane was put at 149 ia a total
compiled kera Saturday from reports
that cams in from many points on the
Gulf coast and In the Interior.
at an nuB-a are mtaslna.
Hundreds of persons along the Mis
sissippi and interior points are I
mnnatfl in flandtd aectionaV
The property damage waa estimated
at approximately iz.uuu.uuv.
The knows dead la Louisiana tnetod
New Orleans and environs, 14; Rif-
olets, Zl; Lake uataertDa, u; near
Vaniar. IS: airht drowned in sinkins
packet aear Grand Isle.
Reported dead and mission:
Shall Beach. St Bernard pariah. It
Island de la Croix. 2; Yoloakl. It oe-
SIR ROBERT L BORDEN
Sir Robert L. Borden, premier of
Canada, recently visited Great Brit,
aln and France for the purpose ef dis
cussing with the authorities the co
operation of the Dominion la the wsr.
Couriers by boat and train as well as
mall advices brought In reports of tre
mendous property loss snd rumors of
many drowned along both sides of the
Mississippi river south of here.
Boat passenaTers arriving from em
pire, near Doulloth canal, about SO
miles down the Mississippi, reported
that only four large bouses still stood
st Empire snd that about 200 persons
were marooned In them. The state
conservation commission here started
a rescue vessel for that point.
Hany inhabitants of the flooded at
tions on both tides of the river were
reported marooned and some were said
to be dinging to tree tops. Relief
vessels were sent to rescue them.
Bay St. Louis, Miss., on the Gulf
cost, reported one dead and property
loss will run into millions.
Removes Bar to Wireless.
New York The invention of a de-
rice with which it is hoped to prevent
static interference with wireless com
munication is snnounced by Professor
Michael L Pupin, of Columbia Univer
sity. Professor Pupin said bis inven
tion eliminates entirely the difficulties
constantly interfering with the wire
less messages over a long distance.
The application of bis device. Prof.
Pupin said, also will make it possible
to transmit tbe human voice on unlim
ited distance without tbe slightest in
terference from unf svorable conditions.
Talcum Powder Is Taxed.
Trenton. N. J. Federal Judge Bell-
stab has decided that talcum powder
used for toilet purposes is a eoemetie
snd taxable, and the seizure of a quan
tity of the article by the government
was rightfully made. The seizure was
on the property of E. R. Squibb & Son,
of New York, to determine whether
under Schedule B of the emergency
stamp tax aet of October 22, 1914, tal
cum powder should bear tbe stamp tax
as on a cosmetic U. S. District Attor
ney Davis said at least $500,000 In rev
enue was involved in the test suit.
Part of Dsckload Lost,
Raymond. Wash. While crossing
Willapa Harbor bar at 4:30 Saturday
afternoon the steamer Avalon was
struck by a heavy breaker, which
threw tbe vessel on ber beam ends,
causing her to strike heavily on the
bar. The lashings broke, and -200.000
feet of lumber cargo went overboard.
The vessel was brought back to this
place badly damaged and leaking. Ex
tent of the damage will not be known
for some time. '
V nr -1 L. "- j
Back of all good health thsra
must be perfect dilation,
liver and bowel activity and
pure blood. You can help
Nature bring about this con
"It's BO ase." pouted little freddy.
who had juat completed his nrat wees
at school. "1 shall aever go to school
-Hut wavr" aaked his mother.
"What's the use of going f I shall
aever learn to spell!"
"What do ou meaat"
"Well, how can I learn to spell whea
the teacher changes the words every
day T" Chicago Herald.
A gentleman traveling oa horseback
not lone aio came UDon aa irlahmaa
who was fencing In a most barrea and
Jeanlate niece of land.
"What are you fencing la that lot
for. Patr said he. "A herd of cows
would starve to death oa that land.
"And ahore. your honor, wasn't I
fencing It to keep the poor bastes out
of ill" Philadelphia Publle Ledger.
ai.hM Mlrn Quick.
Mr. 8lngleton Do you believe ia
Jt. Ulee Vellnarlnft
in mm v.UawU.1 Oh mil mi are
Just awful 1 You haveat evea asked
me to marry you yet! judge.
Haw Cauld Ha?
TVi won know John Jonea hasnt
said a word all evening r
"Well, he nasn t naa a caancs.-
"What's ha dolna-r -
"Having a big argument with his
Wife." . :
-i the Safe BIda.
"Ha vnn intend ta be a aoldter When
you grow up. r Pon't you know you'll
be in danger of getting auieu r
"Why, by the enemy."
-Then 111 be the enemy." Bostoa
The Nameless Spy.
E didn't oueht to be lowed to
sketch the old castle!"
"Wnv not? ' ain't got it nomin
"Whv do you say the officer is
wrong T" demanded the judge, "when
he swears you came ap eeoina aim
silently at the rata of 2S miles sa
'Because the running board always
rattlea at 10 mllee aa hour."
Vu lira Rrmrn Dleased when Ton
asked her to Jota the Shut-la society r
"Pleased? Why, she hasn't spoken
to me since. How shootd I know,
though, her husband was In Jail r
LIVES A GIRL
Who Suffered As Many Girls
Do Telia How She
c...linn' Conn." I am a oiri of 22
wears and I used to faint away every
month ana was very
weak. I was also
bothered a lot with
female weakness. I
read your little book
'Wisdom for Wo
men, 'and I saw bow
others had been
helped by Lydie E.
Ma CmiiuoumL and
decided to try it, and
1 it baa made me feel
like a new sir! and I am now relieved
of all these troubles. I bops all young
girls will get relief sa I have. I never
felt better in my life."-Mre. JOHN
Tetkzault, Box 116, Sterling, Conn.
ir. ...... M V '! have taken Lv-
dla E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound
snd 1 highly recommend it. If anyone
. . a tti ji . ii
wants to write to me i wui giauiy veu
her about my case. I was certainly hi
bad condition aa my blood was all torn.
log to water. I had pimples on my face
snd a bad color, snd tor nve years i naa
been troubled with suppression. Tbe
doctors called it 'Anemia and Exhaus
tion,' and said I was all run down, but
Ti. V. PinVkem'a Ves-etabla Com
pound brought me out all right" Mist
laivnu Mybes, isox 74, Aisssena, . x.
Tonne; Girls. Heed This Advice.
ntrta wrhn ara troubled with painful or
Irregular periods, backache, headache,
oragging-down sensations, fainting
spells or indigestlon.stioaid unmeaiaieiy
omIc mejtnration to health bv taking Lv-
dia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound.
"THE SCilCSL OF QUAUTT
ForOana'a Boat Bneniem Train! nc BeaaaL
Bookkaapinc. Shorthand, Typewrittas aad
Feniaanalfip taacM br aapart taaahera
Faf Taw mmt UttauHl ttat X 1111
klanr atudenta kart eli-eedr enmJIed. Aak
A. T. LUt, imii Maaagsr. ,
Phoaa MAIN SOU
TILFORJ KM, rSITUJO, eSCCSH
NORTHWIST WRKET REPORTS;
GENERAL CROP CONDITIONS
Portland Wheat Blueatem. 90e
bushels forty-fold, 80 J club, Bfte;
Fife, lies red Russian, 80s.
Oats No. 1 white feed, imO ton.
U;;;iael Soot Driowsi ' bran.
ton shorts, Mj roiled barley, til
m 4 kCi
Corn Whole. IS7.80 ton: cracked.
11 ay Eastern Oregon timothy, fit
ttl ton; valley timouy, fiiQftsi al
falfa. Ilx.50ull8.60i cheat, 894110:
oats and veteh, 811(8.11. .
VegeUblea Cucumbers, Oregon,
?n doaan; artlcbokea. SOci tor.
tnaa. ISr40e boat cabbara. 1 pound
beans, fidCac; greea eora, lOpjlSe
an: a-arlle. IBs pound; peppers.
t6e; eggplant. 4(Q,8s aprouta, I
hoiwadish, llo; cauliflower, 16
Greea FrulU Cantaloupes, 8Se
81.88 eraUt Beaches. 58 t. box
watertnelona. lgtiis Pounu: new
nlaa. TBa da 81.50 boat Dears. 90e
81.85: era pea. B0cC8l.80 erete; buck-
Isberrlea, be pound; easanaa, no;
quinces, fl J 1.88 box; cranberries,
Potatoes New, 7(Mt86c sack.
Onions Walla Walla. 76a sack
Eggs Oregon ranch, buying prices
No. 1, 8xe doaaa; No. X. 85c; No. 8
iSrL Jnhhine nricee: No. 1. Sis doa
Poultry Hens. 11 fit 13 pound
aarlnwe, IK sB lsa: turkeva. nominal
ducks, white, ll(iJWe; solored, 8o10e
aaaa. KritlOa. . .
Buttar Citv eraamerv cubes, ex
tras, flic; firsts, 89e; prinU and ear-
tana, extra, trices paid to prouueere;
ftmntrv eraamarv. 12ii21c: buttsrfat.
nremlua Quality. 83c: No. 1. average
quality, Sie; ino. x, xve.
Veal f ancy, lie pouna,
Pnrk Fllnrk. 8e sound.
Dried Fraita Apples, Be pound; ap
ricots, lJetl5c; peackaa, 8c; prunes.
IUlisns. 849e; raisins, looaa aiusca-
tala. 89e; unbleached Sultanas. Tie:
seeded. e: dataa. Persian. 10c; Fard,
81.88 box; eurranta, 8irjixa.
Hum IBIS emn. Iue nouna.
Hides Salted hides. 16c; salted kip,
U; salted calf, 18c; green hides.
isle: sreen kin. 16c: areea calf. 18c
dr hides. S5c: drv calf. 17c.
Wool Eastern uregoa, IB aJB xoe
pound; valley, 87 18c; fall lambs'
wool. 84 tj 86c; mohair, Oregon, S7
Caseara bark OU and new, S
Palis Drv Ion r-wool ed pelts. 161c
Art ahorl-wooled Delta. Hie: dry
shearlings, 10$16e each; salted shear
lings. 1642Z&C; dry goat, tongaair,
IXs' drv anal ahearlinas. 10 88 80c
salted long-wooled polta, September,
rattla Choice ateera. 88.60(38.80
ood. 88 a S.X8: medium, 88.76 t
choice cows, I5.Z5 it 6.78; gooo. o
K SK- madium. ie.SMiB: heifers. S661
6.85; bulla, 84.60t6; sUga, 85.604t.
Hon Light, 80.40 a 6.46; asavT,
Sheen WetKara. 84.76 tt 8:
M6.50; lambs, 8o.aoj7.
Third Alfalfa Crop Put In.
Pr-ianH following is a summary
f tka mob mrwlitlona in OrwaTon for
the week, as reported to the local office
of the weather bureau by specisl cor
respondents urougnouc tna state i
aithaua-h ahowera fall in the West
ern counties on the Sd, 84th and in
some limited areas or norto central
Oregon on the 84th, which benefited
naaturaa and p-ardnna to some extant.
there is still peed for rain la all por
tions of the state.
Tha warm weather has been favor-
ahla for the mattirinr of fruit and gar
den track. The picking and drying of
. . . . . , i
prunes naa Deen aneux coropiewa ana
the harvesting of apples and pears baa
heimn- In the Eastern OreffOD valleys
the peach crop was very heavy and the
quality excellent, out owing to an
over-supplied market many torn oi ue
choicest fruit la going to waste.
Throehlno- haa been nractieallv
pleted, snd the farmers are preparing
the soil for seeding, out jiuie wneat
will be sown until the fall rains have
While waiting for the rain, ranchers
ara hauling their wood and winter sup
Irriratad erena or alfalfa ara Terr
good, and the third crop is being pot
up In soms sections.
Tomatoes are plentiful and or excel
lent quslity. Seasonable fruits and
vaeratahtaa are In the local markets In
abundance, and tha quality is vary
Cranberries Are Popular.
Tacoma Cranberries ara proving
unusually popular with tha trade and
the supply on the local produce market
is good. As a substitute tor ciacs
berries, dealers say. cranberries are
what is wanted. The berries ara roll-
in from Csoa Cod and are of fine
size and color and bold ap unusually
well in shipment. Tbey ara quoted
wholesale at 89.60(310 per barrel. This
oraak saw the first snoearance this
season of grapefruit from tha Isle of
Pines. The nm receipts are a trine
green and are bringing 16 cents each.
Egg Prices Go Up.
Tacoma Koma dealers sent prlc
i fraah ranch sears soerlna- end whole
sale quotations now are from 86 to 88
cents a dozen. Cold storage eggs re
main steady at 1728 esnts a dozen.
The rise In tha fresh product Is at
tributed to a scarcity and an advance
of tbe ruling market of Puget Sound.
Butter and cheese ara unchanged. Fa
vorable weather conditions have pro.
IauI tha fomatn aeaaon and the beat
ones to be had art offered at 4660e a
box. Cantaloupes, grapes ana appies
are among tha leading sellers.
Commission House Csse Dismissed.
Seattle That tha law providing for
the licensing and bonding of commis
sion merchants, enacted, by the last
let-islsture. eonUlns s Joker which
makes It inoperative against all but
the smallest commission merchants was
discovered here when Superior Judge
Gilliam dismissed tbe suit against 1.
n p. l. Jr Ca. Tha bill, as Intro
duced in the legialature, was aimed at
commission merenania cy toe oiyv"
snd growers' associations.
a rtixra To riSC
You cant always auks everything "JuU so." Sometimes you w!0
gat iVtZ ?ihoi3n8 than W or auks Iha bailer a Ule lh ej
nvbwwrenlnt to put a cake In ihe oven the moment t Is
itt uT w M b evenly and II la ry to turn
". .1.5 ule little iwc'eruinue. make the ll.Mt
difference, in results II yotl use .
- Thlt modern, doublmlM baklnt powder muwti fenBth and
It absolutely certain to reus your biscuits, cakes and r7 l'(fh ni1
Linen? I? fsner ales an atnindance ol leavening gas b..th In the mly
!rM bc! and !n the oven. Ta laUtag ts tustaiaed unlU tbs dougii U
Houetwlvet who use K C never Have 1ed luck- with thtlr baking.
Try KCelear risk. Your grocer will rsiuiul your awoty U v -f
bU piotd la eva-y way.
"Our friead always PUU his beat
foot forward, although he Is a truie
"Tea," replied Senator Sorghum, ."a
tan who puts bis beat foot forward
ought to be careful at least to keep his
shoes polished." Wasalogtoa Star.
Good sheila la your gun mean a food bag
in tha field or a good scors at tha trap.
Wlnchsstsr "Lwavdsr" nl 4MRPtr"
Smokeless Powder Shells ara good shells.
Always aura-fira, alwaya giving an even
spread of shot and good penetration, their
great aopariority la testified to by aports
men who osa Wlnchastef Factory Loaded
Sheila la praferanca to any other maka.
ALL DEALER 8 KEEP TH EM
Hello. Mabel I
"Oh. hello, Oeorgel"
eae vnM MaBalr
"Juat fine! How are you. fjeorge?"
"Him, ttav. Mahal, lata ao ihroueh
the park tola afternoon. What do yoa
u'lti ah ahem I t ah I'm
kind of well. I'm kind at tired.
Then yon wont goT"
t-M mt um bm. naorwa. vnn an-
deratand lust how it la. don't you.
"Tea. I guees so. 1 suppose i ii
have to ride with someone else, then."
"Yea: my aew eight-cylinder road
ster came this morning."
"Oh. Oeorgel Did it really? Isn't
tket tuet anUndldf Rav ah Qaorie.
1 gueas I'm not aa tired aa I thought
I waa." . .
"Well, I wouldat take aay chances
If 1 were von. MabeL It doesn't pay.
IH take someone else."
"But, really, dear, I'm not tired a
! .eaat nf van ta aav that but I
don't want to take advantage of your
ginnneaa, uoou-dj, hw.
Mabel slammed the receiver vle
loualv on tbe book. "Darn til" sbs
muttered. Why didn't be ssy so la
tha first place?" Michigan Qargoyia.
Tha fntlnwlna aueatlon waa out to
some young pupils la a publle school:
nun la a rmllw nt riva children.
The mother has only four potatoes to
divide among them. She wanta to give
each child an equal share. What la
she to do?" .
Silence prevailed In tha class room;
every pupil was calculating diligently.
Finally one noy put up bu naou.
Wall. Bammv. What WOUld TOU do?
asked the teacher. ..
"Maah tha notatoea. ma'am. Phila
delphia Public Ledger.
"So vou think tha . plaintiff wept
crocodile tears." .
"Sure 1 do. Wasn't he s ai legator
la the case? Baltimore American.
Within Her ftlghta,
A woman mounted the steps of tha
elevated station carrying aa umbrella
like a reversed saber. Aa attendant
touched her ilgbtlyr saying:
"Excuse me, madam, out yoa are
likely to put out tha eya of the man
behind you." ' '
"Well, he's my nusoana, sae snap
ped. Chicago Herald.
Dr. Pierce'a Pleasant Pallets first
put up 40 years ago. They regulate
and inviiroraU stomach, liver and bow-
sis. Sugar-coated tiny granules.
A Pretty Test. -
MWTtion e vmine- man nranOBea VOU
ahmiM always be careful and teat his
love," cautioned the chaperon.
"But I go one neiier, aunue, twit
tered the pretty Bayswater girl. "Do
you see this tiny bottle?"
-yes, uoes It contain penurne r
aiA. i. .naiflin. aid. I taat the en
gagement ring." Philadelphia Public'
Ledger. : , . ,
Sooner or later yoa will be wrong In every organ of yotnr
body. It Is awell known factthatoverS of airsicknesses
are csused by ailmenU of the digestive organs. If you hsve
the sligheat suspicion that your stomach requires treatment,
don't delay a ntomsnt. Little ill toon grow into serious ilia.
Golden rJedlcal .'Discovery-'
soon rights tbs wrong. It helps the itomach digest the food and manu
facture nourishing blood. It baa a tonlo efToct andooon enables the
stomsch snd heart to perform their functions In a natural, healthy
manner, without any outside aid.
Aa Dr. Plaree's Go Idea Medical fuevry aon Ulna neither akohol lof
Bareoiir. Ihera m, aa reaction, for aver forty yeera It haa stood the Umt ef beta
eaa and abaae sad la today the greetaat remedy af lu kind In the world. Begin
aww. Tk tt hems today. Bold br Medicine bealera la liquid or table form, at
Sb4 tOt te D& riarse's iavallda Betal, Buffalo, h. for a trial box.
fvcaea ciota baaaia ta par eaa a4 aiiii.. -
Write Pr.T. MMm
... ) uiopuhh
-' '' -uu . ' IS
A Hint For Centrlbutare. '
: "I think," aald the editor, "thgt I
will drop Journalism and lak to as
"Decease astronomers have mors
pace than they know what to SS
with." Philadelphia Record. , :
h w Valued Immunity. , I
"Bo yoa bought one of those aula
mobiles they tall ao maey funny stog
"Yea." replied Mr. Cbugglns. "sad K
la saving me a lot of trouble and wear
and tear. Whea your friends tell yoa
jokes about your car they don't ex
pect you to aak them to ride around
la It" Washlngtoa Btar. s
A New Oama.
"Let'a play pinochle golf this time."
unseated tha man who always lost
"I'taochie golf." exclaimed bla oppo
nent. "What kind of a game Is thaif
"It's played Just Ilka ordinary goir
replied tha other, "only the man with
the high scors wins." Philadelphia
Nothing hat awar
auaud ar tamoarmd
with tha mm A, final farm
in Soot I'm tLmulMm la
arrest tha dec Una, Invigorats
tha blood, strengthen tha
nervous system, aid the appe
tite snd restore tha courses'
a at hattap Kaalik
r-fJ XoOtt'm rjaaaarslnea la
tma rootf. without
aicoooi or opiate. '
i i .Jt. Ja
- Dr. Dumba Hos His Hat ';
If any comment cm the late Dr. Dum
ba were necessary It -has been Abun
dantly furnished by, the Dohemiaaa,
Croatlana, Cxechi, and .Slovak at
have IndlghanUy repudiated, hla ende
den condescending Interest In tlierav
Tbey came to "this free and glorious
naUon," as tbey call It. to.gBt.a
from him and his sort of governmniit.
and have told blm so' ia, plain lentia.
They are Americans, not, 'Auifo
Americans, and owe no allegiance, td
tha mlahanaburca. There are ttbi.
diplomatic personages Sow resident
here who are equauy wrong-oenavu
and could equally well be spared.
. . .'. Li,,
Aeeeuntlng For It
"How do you account for the
that Oeorge Washington never told
li..- e.bA.I iha tnanliar. t- -" '' ' "
"I guess be never went fishln,
piped the small urchin at the pedal ex
tremity of - the class. Indianapolis
8Un ' " 7 ' : " f""'':' '" '
"I made a rare discovery yesterday
at Mrs. Dingle's dinner." -',
"What was It?"
"Tbe steak was underdone. "r-Bfttti-more
American. , .
et, aaUaia, K T iaKx
. ..i.-.i .- -m u '140.. win1 i 'i i UJi-...'.' J' u e