Wear This Stylish„Suit!
IN THE HOME OF PELICVI3
. Th* m*B who i» a3mir*M I» th* ew*>ll
jdr****d man wh'»«' clothe« are fwh
|<>nal <e. and »re I1H I at >!•*«. 1 OU w ill
b* that
man
IQl
. L» In
_ —■ jour I in .. nel<hlMirh«MMl!
i Get
1—• >gl.
I «
1911 1 at'l*aan»ju»t
thUauit
lheawelli*«!. claaaieat. »i
ib le we ever created-un.l iM*t$er
our HopearHiu'c! THIS IS OU*
OCAi we want one Man an our
rvj meentatii-o in )otirn«*l«h-
borhood. You vo W' l a lot of
fr.an la They w«Mir clothe*,
t IS the eae eet thina in th*
arid to awt them to order their
clothae from DHL 1'r-ioea. f7 V and
ni' Th«we order* tuenn a bi< bual-
u « nm that more than «loubhw
your «alary, end the work t* the
ea»i wt. eh'aniwt. nlcoet occupation
in the world Nrw reprewmtatme
niak« W to 110 a day low »imply
take the oruer and meaMinMuenta
an.I mail them k> «•
tuakv th*«
eh pth- n >»n appn'ral te r«»ur f- en l «»«4
hand you th* proht mon*r A K«<ntar
Cinch! That a th# boa .11 of Leun in bust
«• for r»ar»*lt so right <i *« now.
t •• uta |*.»tal.qra letter L>r th ’irw- »1
T<««entat-ve* A> 4 JOB
lhe
» au<t»f fa«hi.«aa»l* ta '"r t »vi*.
Studying the Huge. Ungainly Binis at
Close Range and Observing Their
Method of Feeding Their Young.
I
The first time I ever saw a ni-Ule,
trowd of half grown pelicans I thought
nature had surely done her beet to
make something ugly and ridiculous.
It was a warm day. and the birds stood
around with their mouths open, pant
Ing like a lot of dogs after a chase,
their pouches shakli g at every breath.
When I went near the youngsters went
tottering off on their big webbed feet
with »Ings drugging on this side r.nd
that .as If they were poorly handled
irutches The yovt gsters buddled to
gether by hundreds iu a sti.all place.
Those on the outside pushed and
climbed to get near the center, till It
iook.d worse than any football scrim-
stage I ever «aw.
In this wide area of low Islands
ind water It was necessary, since we
wanted to study the pelicans at close
range, to adopt some method of hid-
•ng. We took a large wagon umbrella
covered with a piece of green can
vas, that hung down around the sides.
Thia we planted among the tulea at
the edge of a large colony, and cover
ed the top well with reeds. The whole
thing soon passed as part of the en
vironment, while from the inside the
camera man could point his camera
out through a narrow slit tn the can
vas, take pictures and make observa
tions at will.
One might wonder how such a huge
billed bird as a pelican could feed a
helpless chick just out of the egg It
was done with apparent ease.
The J
old bird regurgitated a fishy soup into
the tront end of the pouch, and the
baby pelican pitched right in and help
ed hlmselt out of this family dish. As
the young bird grew olaer. and larger,
at each meal he kept reaching farther
Into the big pouch of his parent until
fiualiy, when be was halt grown, it
was a most remarkable sight.
The
mother opened her mouth, and the
whole head and neck of her nestling
disappeared down her capacious maw !
while he hunted for his dinner tn the
Internal reg’ons.—Collier’s Monthly.
Women as well as men arc
made miserable by kidney and
bladder trouble. Pr. Kilmer'»
Swamp-Root the gtvat kidney
remedy promptly relieve*. At
drugnrst* in tifty-cent and
dollar stxea. You may have a sample bottle by
mail free. Al*o pamphlet telling all about it.
Addrv'M» Dr. Kilmer A Co.. Bmgh.imton. N. Y.
WHO ¡S
TO
BLAME,
Eaaiv»i to k*<«e Us.
Friend i sarcastically)—“Which one
©f your many bad habits ¿o you think
you covid manage to give up?” Easy
One (nett’ed)
That of lending my
friends n
OnK O m BKOMO QUMSF
That is l.AXATIVF. Hl < M<' Ql IMNE ( noli
for the signature of F W. GROVE. I’««I the
V» arid over to Cure a Co d m One Day. 25c.
Thoughtfulness.
Thoughtfulness is always doing lit
tie kindnesses; thoughtfulness has an
Instinct for seeing the little thing*
‘that need to be done, and then for
dto!”« them —
?
- ---------------------------------------------
TRY MURINE EYE REMEDY
for Red. Weak. Weary. Watery Eyes
audGranul.ited Eyelids. Murine Doesn't
Smart—Soothes Eye Pain. Druggists
Sell Murine Eye Remedy, Liquid. 25c,
50c. $l.i)0.
Murine Eye Salvo in
Aseptic Tubes, 25c. $1.00. Eye Books
and Eye Advice Eree by Mall
Murine Eye Remedy Co., Chicago.
WESTERN
Keron-rv- MANTLES
l. ». B -IN 4 CO . I k . Du'rte-r»
28 Fror. . S-r»»t
Fort'and. Ore.
Sore thrust is no triti ng ailn>e-'t.
It
will sometimes carry in lection to the en
tire sistem through the o-d you eat.
Humlins Wizard Oil ure- Sore Throat.
esintoness unpopular.
That state of mind, which let ns call .
the Ignominy of the virtuous. Is not
entirely confined to boys of nine
years. I have seen grown men and
women, being accused of saintliness,
over whose faces passed an ex pres- |
slon of mortification They would ac
cept with more complacency the trib
ute that they were getting to be devils
In their old age—Max Eastman, in the
Atlantic. __________________ _
Moth-rs wfl and Mrs. Winsio-s's fionthln«
Syrup iu»- b- st rrmed» to use lot their cuUUrea
luring the teething period.
Takes tne o gnt v.c*.
Don't go through life koklng for
trouble, for faults, for failures, for the
crooked, the ugly and the deformed;
don’t see the distorted man—see the
man that God mace.
Just mike up
your mind fiirnly at the very outset In
life that you will not criticise or con
demn others or find fault with their
mistakes ar.d shortcomings.—Orison
Swett Mar»’ -
___________________
Painless Dentistry
C. GeeWo
1» our pridn—oar hobby—our «tody for year» and
now oariucoeu, and our» i» the b«rt painiswa work
to be found anywhere. no s^tUir how much you
The Chinese Doctor
W« flnl«h plate and
bri è we work for out-
of-town natron» in
one day if d«>«ir*d.
Paini*«» ertrivtion
fr*a ari «n p atea or
bridge work i» order*
C&naultition frea.
This wondeful mar. ha»
made a life study of the
properties of Roots,
Herbs and Barks, and
is «-iviner the world the
benefit of his service».
WvCrmi S5.00
22k Bridge Ts.il 4. GO
Gold OKsgs ICO
£n*m*l Filling» 1.00
Silver Filling»
.50
Good Rubber
Plato»
5.00
Beet R*d Rubbor
Plato»
7.50
____
Paiolo»» Eitr*ti»«i . 50
No Mercury, Poisons
or Drugs Used. No
Operations or Cutting
Guarantees to cure Cstarrh, Asthma, Lung,
Stomach and Kidr.ey trouble», and ail Private
Disease? of M n and Women.
A SUR£CANCER CURE
Ju»t received from Pekin, China safe, sure
and reliable. Unfailing in its works.
If you cannot can. write for symptom blank
and circular. Inclose 4 cents in p tamps,
BC8T MKTMOOS
ri (i«» irmiawia n
AL work fully guarantee«! for fifteen year*.
CONSULTATION FREE
Wise Dental Co., inc.
The C. Gee Wo Medicine Co.
Painless Dentists
162H first St., cor. Morrison, Portlsnd^r^
I
Falling Building, Third and Washington PORTLAND ORB
OUU* Moui. » ▲ M. to • t. M. I an day«, »tel
The Right Way
. .
In All cases of
DISTEMPER, PINK EYE. INFLUENZA,
COLDS, ETC.,
Of All Horses, Brood Mares, Colts,
Sial.ions, is to
“SPOHN THEM”
On their tonffvea or in the fe«*i put Spohn’a Liquid
Compound. G.ve the remedy to* 11 of them. It acts
on the b ood and glands. It routs th* disease by
expelling thedisea$e verms.Jt wards off the trou
ble, no matter hovr they ar* “exposed.” Absolute
ly free from anvthinginjurious. A child can safe
ty taka it. 60 cents and 11.00; S5 TO an-1 SlO OOtha
dozen. Sold by dmgrfrts, harre s dealers, or sent
•apreas paid by the manufacturers.
Special Agents Wanted
SPOHN MEDICAL CO.
Chemist, and Bacteriologi.t.
COSHEN, IND»
U. S. A.
cTVlillions
E>' Frederick Redd.de
«Author
-Tha Other ¿rilan*
etc.
Illustrations by Ray Wa ters
lUQl»ri£Ul. b> J. B. I..pp :iuua C m .)
10
SYNOPSIS.
Amtv M. '.
nge-i mHlInnnlr«» miner, Is
dyinM and order.«,i will drawn up I-•:ivhw
all his pronortv t«> t! «• son <»f a slater of
whom he has heard nott 'ng for years,
and whose r,arti»*«l name he <!•»«** not
now Me|t>en ..s m irrie I v« trs b«’f »re.
but left hla wife aft’T i «!’• »irel In wli'eh
he struck her. He lenrne I Inter that ahe
•ml their <! iu«l •• i Were d ad The s-.«ne
I Ifta te New Y |\ ln’|t..b|. 'nu Wilfrid
Strnn s. wh > Is t» lllng h’s 0’inree. Eunice
Trrveecn. what he wouhl do If he wer"
♦he p.iwsens.»r of A 11th In ’» • law «»f-
i<-e .if ('irh.'N pHSH.ixnn! <• (’«»nine, at
•ornevs for the estate of '!»-b>**n H-’Cer
Hews r.-n-'r*» th»* result of hla »enreb fnr
‘•elra Of \f. Wn
the f .<•» that
1 »b- it Vrlren*» diUilb iter
* dl «e
Wllfrl.l
Is llv*
irla rt'pMfS tt» nn « 1
•»rfls t'P’f nt f >r *r«e. »rmn?''»n concern In*
» I* tit a<1 mochar. M » fill’. >’ le» n nn '1 tn
t«M t hat ho
p
•r t • * ?i 1v M-l. . •n‘a
r»v'!’L'
H- u t r»t « »n ni’rrv F’inI 'e nt
'r< e hut *hv» !■•'«*• »hre Iv ih unir* Hr ni-
«'bini P* .» sm va nr, fr volnua daughter of
»’>« •»!fiorilev Et mire •
- i »! hi * nf
Wllfr l’s r.Mentions to (’l.iri He build*
•« vacht nnd starts on h trip nhroa-l. the
’\nssivnnts being Ineb led In the pnrty.
Roger Hews having <! -< r> d that Eu*
nl e Tr- • . - i *s •'
1 ghter of ' 1
Meleen. p’ ms to use » ie Inf1 r-natlon to
his own advantage He propose» to Eu
nice and •» re.le ted Jud* ’ after two
year* of gaiety In Europ* Wilfrid return«
«nil Immediately calls on Eunice. Hla at
tempts to renew his form.r relation*
with her meet with no »«n ■••uragetnent
Rog»»r Hews becomes Wtlfr'd’a secretary
The engagement • f Clara Pasaavant and
Wilfrid Is announced
CHAPTER VIII.—Continued.
Yield of One Pennsylvania Oak.
The largest oak tree In Huntingtofi
township. Adams county, was cut last
week on the farm of John R. Sadler.
The tree was five feet across the
stump and took the men several hours
to place It prostrate. Eleven hundred
and three large wagon spokes were
taken from the trunk and twelve
cords of wood were cut from the top
and branches —Ph<l-><,Atnh!a Record.
INSIST UPON
zAn Heir
'
;
:
I
I
The Judicious Hews permitted a full
day to Intervene before following up
the news with a call In Macdougal
street
Now, If ever, he thought, the
girl might be ready to listen to reg-
son; he counted not a little upon
Eunice's womanly pique anil pride,
which might trmpt her to show the
recalcitrant Wilfrid that two could
play the same game, and that she was
not the one to wear the willow for an
other woman's fiance. Women—and
men likewise—have been known to
marry for spite and repent at leisure.
It was Roger's cue, as usual, to pre
tend to be wholly Ignorant of the lit
tle tragedy going on behind the
scenes. Eunice was totally unaware
of the fact that he was In the employ
of her old lover, and she thought she
had sufficiently masked her own feel
ings.
When Hews came In that evening
Eunice was alone, and intuitively felt
that a crisis was Impending.
For
millennial ages women have been pit
ting subtle wit against brute strength,
developing a sixth sense which de
tects immediately and Indubitably the
benign or the malign designs of the
opposite sex.
Tonight, however, she detected a
tenseness of latent purpose In Roger
Hews which doubtless he flattered
himself was wholly hidden, and which
certainly his first words did not re
veal. for his talk was all about the
great railroad strike then raging
As the evening wore on. and John
Trevecca failed to make his usual
nine o'clock appearance, Hews In
quired:
"Where Is your father tonight?"
“I think be has gone upstairs," said
Eunice, who had been hoping this
question would not be asked.
"In
fact." she went on hurriedly, "I ain
quite worried about him; he has taken
a heavy cold, and his asthma is al
ways worse at such times."
.
"I do not wish to alarm you," said
Hews with a well simulated note of
sympathy in hlB voice; "but I have
noticed that he Is aging rapidly; he
Is not the man he was a year ago.”
"Oh. do you really think that?" ex
claimed Eunice regretfully, and quick
to take alarm. “He Is perhaps not as
vigorous as he used to be, but I hope
he will be spared to me for many,
many years! He Is my only relative
in the world; If I should lose him"—
and the ready tears came Into her
eyes for the sole parent she had ever
known
"It Is nothing serious, I guess,” said
Roger with off hand, soothing convic
tion; "but your father ought to be en
joying a leisurely old age; at hls time
of life he should not have to work.”
Eunice nodded her head In quick
assent.
"So I have told him, Mr. Hews,
again and again
But he persists In
saying that he must toll on at the
shops In order that he may keep add
ing to the little pile of savings which
Is to save me from want when be la
dead and gone.”
*
"That fs a noble object,” said Hews
with real sincerity, "but you have It
in your power to render all that labor
unnecessary, and to make your father
comfortable for the rest of hls life."
"I don’t see—” began Eunice, when,
with a wave of color flooding face and
forehead, she suddenly did see. How
silly and blind to give him such a
good opening, she thought.
Roger Hews was quick to seize hls
chance—In fact, he bad cleverly led
u« to thia very point
"At the risk of offending you. Miss
Eunice," lie struck ill, "I must recur
to the proposal 1 made you ouco be
fore Marry mo. and your father need
not worry about hl« future or your
own.
They will both bo my care
then.”
"You promls-d —“ said the girl re
proachfully. but lie took the words out
of her mouth in Ills surcharge of feel
ing.
"I promised I know It- never to
recur to the theme so near to my
h< art without your permlsHiou. I liuie
broken the promise beciu.se I cun
keep silence no longer Eunice, I love
you, dearly madly, devotedly, with nil
the strength of a man who has never
loved before.
I cannot live without
you. nnd I will not
Hu my wile,
Eunice, be n y w lie!"
Ills ugltntlon was almost pitiable to
«< e
'I he self com allied nnd calcu
Iqtlng nature of the man reemed sud
deuly thawed and luelti-d as the cold
steel Ingot Is liquefied by the hot
breath of the retort In the Intensity
of h's passion hls voice trembled, hls
eyes blast'd, hla pale face assumed a
brlcktshrid tli'gu; lie left hla seat
nnd came to her sale, putting one
hand on her shoulder, nnd striving to
take her unwilling fingers with tbu
other
All n quiver nnd unstrung be waited
for her answer With bent hind and
averted gase Eunice almost turned
her back on him
X
ive of repulsion
and disgust rw
' . .
her, for tbu
xehiment fore. <> v
lie was un
able to aeeo
t -n save her tu
(her from a h
i..<l
a hs could «lie
marry the t.:'..' I! ..
wooer! Never
had Roger li »« t>'on so lnslsi<nt;
never had rhe t< l' Uss like gtuntliig
what he demanded
With an effort, evading hls grasp.
Eunice rose and stood facing blui. the
chair betweiti them.
"I am sorry." ahe said. In tom s full
of womanly sympathy, "that you have
spoken of this again. Mr Hews What
my nnswer was six months ago must
be my answer still I do not love you.
and I never could love you as a wom
an should love the man she marries.
I am loath to give you pain, but I nru
telling you the simple truth. 1 must
seem cruel to be kind "
The words were uttered w!»b such
quiet sincerity as to carry to the
wretched man who heard them tlie
conviction that the fortress of her
heart was unassailable and would
never be won by him. Roger Hews
realized that he had failed utterly,
and he threw discretion to the four
winds
"You mean you are telling n.e only
part of the truth'" he shouted sav
agely, hls real nature coming to the
surface under the rebuff, now that
there was nothing to be gained by
la
“I Am Not to Be Frightened or Black
mailed, Mr. Hews.”
further disguise. "Why not make a
clean breast of It, and confess that
you are still Infatuated with that up
start ass, Wilfrid Stennis!
Where's
all your maidenly pride? Don't you
know that be belongs to another worn
an now?"
The girl winced nt the cruel stab,
at which evidence of the truth of hls
pitiful accusation Hews became even
more frantic. Hls mask of quiet re
spectability waa ruthlessly cast aside.
“He values you and your love about
as much as one of hls old shoes!" he
sputtered coarsely.
"He threw you
over once before, and now he's done It
again! He's nothing but a dirty Im
postor. anyway, and I'll show him up!"
Speech failed him, and he stood be
fore her panting, choking. Impotent.
Eunice Trevecca moved towards the
door, and from the vantage of Its
opening looked him up and down In
contemptuous scorn.
“I thank you. Mr. Hews," she said
with cutting emphasis; "I have had a
narrow escape, It seems!" and with
these words she left the room.
CHAPTER IX.
The preparations for the Stennls-
Passavant wedding went on apace
Thelra was to be only a six weeks' en
gagement, for Lent had just come In
when the fateful words were spoken
which In a measure set the crown of
success upon the maneuvers of Mis
tress Clara.
Did she love Wilfrid? In the light
of events it seems extremely doubt
ful; that she liked and admired him
we have seen; In her eyes marriage
was more a matter of creature com
fort than of love pure and undeflled—
but little better than a social com
pact, in fact; so much beauty, so
much refinement, so much good birth
and position In exchange for so many
millions of dollars.
If the possessor of the millions
happened to be a very passable and
presentable sort of a fellow, why, all
the better. In common with nearly
every other woman, Clnra Passavant
shone at her beet during these glamor
ous weeks, and Wilfrid waa happy—
or told himself that be ought to bo.
I
But In rea'lty what bo regard<4 «•
happiness was only a dreamy sort of
nepenthe Iw guciscd he had doll»
the right thing the thing that waa
expected of him by ('lain and all her
friends
The rest didn't matter
In
tact, lie told himself, nothing mat
tered very much now that Eunice lied
taken herself out of hla career.
The penltiiitlal season win more
than halt over, and ttiere lacked but
two short week« of tliu wedding day,
when Roger Hews »red hls lulno.
Patient as a ferret, lie blded tils time;
bo had weori'd one failure; in (hla sec
ond attuirpt to use hls power there
must be no mishap or mlsi-iirrlago.
According to cu:*'oin. lie waited upon
Stennis Immediately after breakfast
to open the niiill and rvcclvu his 111
structiona for the day
The usual routine wa < gone through,
nnd Wilfrid was about to «tnrl lor Ills
morning aallop with hls fiancee In the
park »lien the secretary spoke:
"Can you give me your attention for
n few mlnutis. Mr St. nula?"
“Any thing lint ortnut ?" quoth WII
frld
"Can't you let it tie over? I
have an appointment nt II."
"It Is most inii'ortnnt, nod It enn't
He over!" «aid llt-w« truculently
Stennis eyed the man curiously; tliu
tone verging upon th« Insolent, til«
first thought was that the Immaculate
lleger find been linbibltig loo freely
Hut n second g atee showed that he
was apparently perfectly »Ober
"Well. w< II. man get al It then I
ntn In a hurry!" vxclulined Wilfrid
testily.
"Better aft down," raid Hews with
easy fu tu 111 a r 11 y
"Willi your pcrtnls
slon I II order the bora« hnrk to th«
stable; I don't think you'll »ant to
ride to day ”
So raying, he stepped to the phon«
and coolly gave the necesaary In
structlon«
»tennis, with one glove
on. stood, rldlt g w hip In hand. In
dumb amazement at th« consummate
Impudence of th« man.
It was s .
novel nnd not very ngreenble expert I
i-nce
lie»«. In return, scrutlulted
hl« employer with n provoking!? cool
stnru, nn unpleasnnt leer on Ills thin
lips
"Your manners are confoundedly
unplenannt thl« morning, Mr llewa."
said Wilfrid, flngerlt.g the stock of hl«
whip nervously There w>ia «otm tiling
covertly venomous In the attitude as
sumed by tils secretary which made
him Itch to Iny the heavy la«h about
Ills shoulders, ns one would chastise
an unruly dog
"!>' y«r think so?" snld th« other, in
th« most offensive tone h« could mus
ter "I guess you'll find what I've got
to say still lesa to y'r liking "
"That's Impossible to decide n« long
as you »It there gibbering*" retorted .
Wilfrid, who was last losing patience. '
Hews snorted
"You've had a pretty good time
these three yi-urs past, haven t you?"
hu queried
Stennis made no reply.
"Yes. you've had things altogether ,
y'r own way. spending money right
and left and livin' on the fat of the
land "
Still no answer.
"And now y're going to get spliced. .
and live In n fine house, after jilting |
the poor girl y' once promised to
marry!"
"That's an Infernal lie. whoever told
you so!" Wilfrid whipped out, stung
at last Into angry speech
"Is It? Well, this what I'm going to
tell y' Is no 11«—y' hear me? Y've
got no more right to Andrew Melueu'«
million« than I have!"
Stennis started as though he had
been bitten In the h«el by an udder,
but Im controlled hls voice ndmlrably
"Oblige me by saying that over
again," he answered quietly
"1 tell yer that y've been spending ;
money that doesn't b« long to yer—
not a «Ingle, solitary red cent of It
Y're no more the rightful heir of Andy
Meleen than 1 am!
Is tliut plain
enough ?"
Wilfrid stepped to the door, locked
it. and put th« k< y In hls pocket.
"If you are sane and sober, you'll
understand that you cannot leave this
room until you have proved every
word—or taken the consequences."
Stennis, shaking the heavy riding
quirt suggestively
"Oh. 1 know what I'tn talking
about," rejoined llews airily; "my facia
are all O K."
"Let me have the facts then—not
mere windy assertions," retorted the
other "I am not to be frlghtenud or
blackmailed, Mr. Hews "
(TO HK CONTINUED.)
Usurer In High Society.
Frank Marshall White contributes
to Harper's Weekly an account of th»
methods of money lenders on both
sides of the Atlantic. The loan sharks
who exploit the poor In America are
represented In England, says the au
thor. by usurers who prey upon post
obits and delayed Inheritances.
Of
such a type was the celebrated Stun
Lewis, who actually forced hls way
into good society by virtue of hls hold
over the aristocracy. "Everybody In
London knew lx>wls.
Waa there a
clinrlty bazaar, for Instance, where
ladles of title were st II.ng bouton
nlerea and Ices, or beautiful actresses
mixing drinks? There was l«ewls pay
Ing the highest price for everything
In sight. Was royalty laying the cor
ner stone of a hospital or asylum, to
which ceremony the subscribers to
the erection fund hnd been Invited?
Lewis stepped to the crimson carpet
across the sidewalk from the tallest
landau, with the biggest horses and
the most stately coachman.”
Has Good Appetite.
(
A baby walrus of six months will
eat about 50 pounds of codfish in the
course of a day.
CAJ*
- ¿and T-
hs enu ?^ c : at !0*4 v , as
pan
r’o»tr"«s,«r H»d No LvUer for F.Tm-
sr's Coiv When Ael sj ter Mall
for MIFe Howe.
Th« leirly farmer «trod« anxiously
ntn the | oatoffice.
"Have you got any letter for Miko
Howe?" he asked.
The new pustu aster looked him up
and down
"$Yir who?" b« snapped.
"Mlku Howe!" repelled tt« farmer.
Th« |M>«tma> ter turnnd mlde
"I dou't undoratuud," h» returned,
sillily.
"Don't understand'” mated the ap
pllcant
"Can't you und«t«tand plain
Srgltah? I «»kml If you've got any
<t’er tor Mik« llows!”
"Will, I haven't!" snorted thu post-
nin>ter. "Neither have 1 a lutt«r fur
anybody el««'« cow!"
Amenities.
A ao'lcltor who had been asked out
io dinner and waa delicately' pumped''
for li'gal Information by hla host «ent
In a bill tor "advice."
To thia the host responded with a
demand for pa>m«nt fur th« dinner
eaten by th« solicitor.
Equal to the occasion, however, th»
latter promptly threatened a prosecu
tion for srllli g wine witbout a li
cense, thus «ff«ctually alleucltig ilia
'«ymaxi —Tit IHta
Had a Tough Foot.
A barefooted n< gru wand «rid Into
a blacksmith shop In a little southern
town
While watching the smith
P< und the Iron Into ahap« hn uncon
sciously stepped on a red hot coal.
After several minutes had passed h»
sniffl'd hla nose once or twice and re
marked in nn Incidental way . ” 'rears
to me. soli, dat
I
smells rub bub
•lurulu'."- National .Monthly.
Hls Share.
"T wtah you would tear a little plecw
off the corner of on« of those bills
In your pay envelope," she said, as
her buabnud pas*e<l ovor hla
to her
"Why. dear r ho asked with •onia
surprise
"Because I don't want you to bn
able to say that I got all your
money ! "
An Intsrference.
"How many ducks did you shoot,
Pat-"
"The dlvil a wan'”
"Weren't there any there?”
"Hure* The lake wor full av thlm.
But Iv'ry time I’d [mint me gun nt
wnn, d'ye molnd, another wan w'd get
betwixt me an’ him no' spoil me
a'm!"
brought up In the city, while visiting
nt a farm In Ohio last summer, were
much Interested tn the milking of the
cows. “Which Is the cow that gives
the buttermilk?” Innocently naked
one of the girls nn she Inspected the
herd with a critical nye. "Don't make
yourself
ridiculous,"
replied
her
cousin, who had boasted that she had
been In the country before. "Goats
give buttermilk.”
In Primitive Districts.
"How'd that candidate come to git
bent after he hired tho best brass
band In the county?”
"Tho other fellow got closer to ths
people. He'd come right Into the
parlor an* play us a tune on our own
melodeon."
Etymology.
"Pa. why do people say that some
thin» easy Is a 'pipe?'”
Coat of Crime In Britain.
”1 don't know, my son, unless tho
Crime tn the United Kingdom costa Idea is vaguely associated with tho
ths suite about $30,000,000 a /«i»
money plumbers gr