The
Main
Chance
a
>r
Mtrtdith N.cholwt
C opy might l*VJ
CHAPTER Will.
Th* sffsirs of the Traction Company
proved to be in a wretched tangle. Sax­
ton employed an expert accountant to
open a net of hooka for the company,
while he far* hia Immediate attention to
the physical condition of the property.
Th* company's service was a byword and
a hiaain< in the town, and he did what
be could to better it. working long hours,
but enjoying the labor. It had been a
sudden impulse on Fenton's port to have
Saxton made receiver. In Saxton's first
days at Clarkson he had taken legal ad­
vice of Fenton in matters which had al­
ready been placed in the lawyer's hands
by the bank; but moat of these liad long
been closed, and Saxton had latterly gone
to Raridan for such legal assistance as
he needed from time to time. Fenton had
firmly intended asking Wheaton’s appoint­
ment ; this seemed to him perfectly nat­
ural and proper in view of Wheaton's po­
sition in the bank and his relations with
Porter, which were much lean confidential
than even Fenton imagined.
Fenton had been disturbed to find Mar-
«rave and Wheaton together in the direc­
tors' room the night before the annual
meeting of the Traction stockholders. He
could imagine no busineaa that would
bring them together; and the hour and
the place were not propitious for forming
new alliances for the bank. Wheaton bad
"appeared agitated as he passed out th*
packet of bonds and stocks; and Mar­
grave's efforts at gaiety had only increas­
ed Fenton's susp.cioua. From every point
of view it was unfortunate that Porter
should hare fallen ill just at this time .
but it was. on the whole, just as well to
take warning from circumstances that
were even slightly suspicious, and be bad
decided that Wheaton should not have th*
receivership. He had not considered
Saxton in this connection until the hour
of the Traction meeting; and be bad in­
ward'* debated it until the moment of
his decision at the street corner.
He had expected to supervise Saxton’s
acts, but the receiver had taken hold of
the company’s affairs with a teal and an
Intelligence which surprised him. Saxton
wasn't so slow as he looked, he said to
the federal judge, who bad accepted Sax­
ton wholly on Fenton's recommendation.
Within a fortnight Saxton bad improved
the service of the company to the public
so markedly that the newspapers praised
him. He reduced the office force to a
working basis and installed a cashier who
was warranted not to steal. It appeared
t£at the motormen and conductors held
their positions by paying tribute to cer­
tain minor officers, and Saxton applied
heroic treatment to these abuses without
kdo.
The motormen and conductor« grew
used to the big blond in the long gray
ulster who was forever swinging himself
aboard the cars and asking them ques­
tions.
They affectionately called him
"Whiskers." for no obvious reason, and
the report that Saxton had. in one of the
power-houses, filled his pipe with sweep­
ings of tobacco factories known in the
trade as "Trolleyman's Special." bad fur­
ther endeared him to those men whose
pay checks bore hia name as receiver. In
snow-storms the Traction Company had
usually given up with only a tame strug­
gle. but Saxton devised a new snow­
plow. which be bitched to a trolley and
drove with bis own hand over the Trac­
tion Company's tracks.
John was cleaning out the desk of the
late secretary of the company one even­
ing while Raridan read a newspaper and
waited for him. Warry was often lonely
these days. Saxton wax too much en­
grossed to find time for frivolity, and Mr.
Porter's Illness cut sharply In on Worry's
visits to the Hill. He was resting while
he waited for the Transcontinental to
exhaust Its usual tactices of d*lay and
come to trial. On Fenton's suggestion
Saxton bad Intrusted to Raridan some
matters pertaining to the receivership,
and these served to carry Warry over an
Interval of idleness and restlessness.
“You may hang me!" said Saxton, sud­
denly. He bad that day unexpectedly
came upon the long lost stock records of
the company and was now examining
them. Thrust into one of the books were
two canceled certificates.
"It's certainly queer,' he said, as War­
ry went over to his desk. He spread out
one of the certificates which Margrave
bad taken from Wheaton the night before
the annual meeting. "That’s certainly
Wheaton’s endorsement all right enough."
Raridan took off bis glasses and
brought bis near-sighted gaae to bear
critically upon the paper.
"There's no doubt about It.”
“And look at thia, too.” Saxton hand-
ad him Evelyn Porter's certificate. Rari­
dan examined it and Evelyn's signature
an the back with greater care. Ho car­
ried the paper nearer to the light, and
scanned It again while Saxton watched
blm and smoked bls pipe.
“You notice that Wheaton witnessed
the signature."
Raridan nodded. Saxton, who knew
bis friend's moods thoroughly, saw that
be was troubled.
"I can find no plausible explanation of
that,” said Saxton. "Anybody may be
called on to witness a signature; but I
can't explain this. Ho opened the stock
record and followed the history of the
two certificates from one page to anoth­
er. It was clear enough that the certifi­
cates bold by Evelyn Porter and James
Wheaton had boon merged
into on*,
which had been made out In the name of
Timothy Margrave, and dated the day be­
fore the annual meeting
"It doesn't make much difference at
nreseot," said Saxton. ‘"When Mr. For
ffim aaaaas dews town ho will nadawMsd-
MR ROCKEFELLER'S GIFTS
aisled.” or "were charming" In some nsr-
licular raliucni.
The doctor advised a change for For
ter, the purpose of which waa to make It
impowdble for him to return to hie work
before hia complete recovery
Evelyn
and the doctor cboae Asheville before
they nn-utiimed it to him, and the plan,
of rouroe. Included his «on Grant. Mr*
Whipple still supervised the Porter house
hold et long range, and the general fre­
quently called alone to help the hanker
over tbe hard places In hia roncalevsenes
A day had been fixed for their depar
turn, and Mrs. Whipple waa reviewing
CHAPTER XIX
The Iron thrall of winter wae broken and approving their plana in the library,
- at last. Great winds still blew tn the aa Evelyn and her father and Grant
valley, but tbelr keen edge was dulled. discussed them.
"Wo shall probably not see you at
: Robins and bluejays, coming before the
daffodils dared, looked down from here home much In tbe future." Mra Whipple
I boughs u;wo the receding line of snow on said to Mr. Ibarter. who lay in invalid
. the Porter hillside. The yellow river ease on a lounge, with a Roman com
had shaken Itself free of Ice. and Its swol­ forter over hia knees. "You'll be sure
len flood rolled seaward. lMrter watch­ to becoqie tbe worst of gad-aboute—-Ko !
ed It from bls windows; and early In rope, the far East, and all that.”
"I guess not," he aaid. emphatically.
March he was allowed to take short
walks in the grounds. Ho was much “I never expect to have any time for i
weakened by hie illness, and though ho loafing."
"Well, you're going now. anyhow IXon't
{deeded -tally to be allowed to go to the
bank, be subirltted to Evelyn's refusal let this girl get Into mischief while you're
with a tameness that was new In blm. away. An Invalid father only a young
Fenton came several times for short In­ brother to care for her and keep the suit- j Aiuount'H* Has Olven to One Institution Equals Coat of Five Bvttl*
terviews. Thompson called as an old ore away ! lie ears and bring her hack
■hip*
friend ae well as a business associate. without a trail of encumbrance«. Grant."
OHN l> RlM'KKFKLlJBK celebrated bls seventieth birthday by
Wheaton eras often at the house, and Por­ aha Mid. turning to the boy. "you must
«Ivin« IIU.iHlOooO to the General Education Hoard, making the
ter preferred bis account of bank mat­ protect Evelyn from thora Eastern mvu.'
total of tils gifts to that philanthropy the stupendous sum
“I'll do my beat." the lad answered
ters to Thompson's. Wheaton carried the
of 953.iW.iHHt and bringing the grand total of hia known Ixn
figures in his head, and answered ques­ "Evelyn doesn't like dudes, and Warry
«faction* to th* aKsrcgute of (120.000.000. Add hl* unknown
tions offhand, while Thompson was help­ says all the real men live out Weet."
"I guera that's right." Mid Mr. Porter.
less without the statements which he
gifts to innumerable Il stltiitlona. objects and Individuals, and
She roee. gathering her wrap about
was always having the clerks make for
the final figures are probably In vxceaa of (135,000,000 a sum
her.
Graut
rose
aa
she
did.
Hia
man
­
him. Porter fretted and fumed over
of money so huge that Its magnitude is difficult to estimate.
Traction matters, though Fenton did his ners were very nice, and he walked Into
Take alone the gift of (10.000.000 officially announced by Frederick T
best to reassure him.
the ball and took up hia hat to go down !
Gat««, chairman of the General Education Hoard. Some Idea of what (10.-
He did not understand why Saxton to the car with Mrs. Whipple. It waa |
A comfortable home. ca|>alde
should hare been made receiver; If Fen­ dusk, and a man waa going through th* . 000.000 amounts to can be had In Gils way
ton was able to dictate the appointment, grounds lighting th* lamp*. Mrs. Whip J of adequately housing a family of average cl re urn stances, can be bought In
why did be ignore Wheaton, who could pie talked with her usual vivacity of the . Brooklyn for (5,000. Mr Rockefeller's gift would buy I.i’iW such homea for
have been spared from the bank easily New Hampshire school which the boy 3.000 families Ills total gifts of (53,O«k>.iHHi to the General Education Hoard
enough when Thom {won returned. Fen­ had attended. and of the trip he wae would buy 10.000 such homea
The total of all of his gift«. 1135.000,000,
ton did not tell him the true reason— about to make with hia father and elater
would buy 37.000 such homes Five persons la the average of a family
but he urged the fact that Saxton repre­ They atood at the curb In front of th* . Twenty-seven thousand such homea would mean a city of 135.000 persons
sented certain shares which were enti­ Porter gate waiting for her car. A buggy ( There are many pretentious cities In tbe United States where all of the
tled to consideration, and ho made much stopped near them and a man alighted homes of its cltlxen* do not represent an outlay of halt the iwoney given
of the danger of Thompson's breaking and stood talking to a companion who |
away by Mr Rockefeller.
down at any moment and having to remained seated.
Report baa given Mr Rockefeller (4'10.000.000. but men with some means
leave. Porter dreaded litigation, and
"la thia the way to Mr. Porter's eta-1
wanted to know how soon the receiver­ bleY* one of the men called to them.
| of estimating his wealth say that la an exaggeration If bis fortune he (300.
If (400.iHlO.000. It
ship could be terminated and the company
"Yew,” Grant answered, ae be stepped - 900.000. his Income at S per cent would be (15.000 000
reorganised. The only comfort ho de­ into the street to signal the car. Tbe would be 1'50.000,000 This (53,000.000 he has given the General Education
rived from the situation was the victory man who had alighted got back Into th* Board is for a single purpose- to multiply and widen educational facilities
which bad been gained over .uargrave, buggy »• if to drire into the groumla.
for American boys and girls. Irrespective of creed or anything else Col­
who bad repeatedly sent messages to the The street light overhead hissed and then leges all over the country, particularly In those sections where the need la
house ssking for an interview with Por­ burned brightly above them. Mr*. Whip­ greatest, are the beneficiaries of the fund
They receive (5,000 (10.000.
ter at the earliest moment possible. The ple turned and saw on* of tbe men plain­
(50.000, (100.000 or (300.000 or whatever sum the trustees of the fund be­
banker's humor had not been Injured by ly. The car cam* to a stop ; Grant help­
New York World.
the fever, and he told Evelyn and the ed her aboard, and waved hie hand to lieve they are entitled to
doctor that he'd almost be willing to stay her a* she gained th* platform.
in bed a while longer merely to annoy
At 9 o'clock a general alarm was «ent
MATRIMONIAL DIARY.
known where they are They are se
Tim Msdgrave.
out in Clarkson that Graut Torter bad
cret bodies and move In darknes* toe
“If I'd known I was going to be sick. disappeared.
Within recent months we have Hix Companies five months ago ap
I guess I woudn't have tackl'd It." be
(To be continued.)
noted that more and more frequently pealed to th* Chinese consul general
said to Fenton one day. bolding tip hia
thin hand to the fire. The doctors had
diaries have been Introduuced into to stop a war lietween several of th«
SITE OF TYBURN TREE.
Th* best he could do was to
found his heart weak and had cut off his
divorce trials kept by one or both tong*
tobacco, which he missed sorely. “I might Marble tablet I'laced os Spot Where ;>artles to the suit. Sometime* these get thrcn to declare a true«, which j
unload as soon as we can rebond anti
diaries were begun long prevlou* to lasted until the Chinese New Year
Thoasaads Met Heath.
reorganise."
Thousand* of English malefactors any open disagreement between man Rut as th**« line* ar* l>elng written ,
“That's for you to «ay." answered the and thousands who were not maletac- I and wife, when one or th* other may the New Year festival* have ended
lawyer. "Margrave wanted it, and no tor*, according to modern Ideas, met I have ben unconscious of any Infelicity »nd the tong war ha* again begun
doubt bo would be glad to take it off your
It must not lx Inferred, however,
their death at the handa of th* hang- ! between them In such a case the un-
nands If you care to deal with him.”
that the tong* typify the ma«« of the
inspecting
one.
all
unguarded
In
bls
man
on
a
spot
In
one
of
the
busleat
|
“If I was sure I had a dead horse. 1
Chinese, who ar« generally peaceable
guess I'd as lief let Tim curry him as centers of Ixindon county council, a or her Innocence, ha* been dally re­ The tonga seem to tie bands of crlml
cording In the accusing book, every act
any man in town; but I don't believe this London dispatch says.
nals working something like the
animal io dead."
The spot Is the site of tL* famous that would be prejudiced In the eyes
black hand" among the Italian popu
"Not much.' said the lawyer, reassur­ Tyburn tree, the gallows on whlen of court or jury set down In black
tot ion of New York
To show how
ingly. "Saxton says 1 e’s making money
and
white
and
In
cold
blood
There
I*
London's criminals were hanged fet
every day. now that nobody Is stealing the more than 60'i years. It Is situate« no distinction In law between divorce they work, the Hop Bing Tong ha* of
revenues. He's painting the open cars
sought In a hot temper and divorce feted a reward of (1.000 for th« death
of any officer of the Huey Sing Tong
and expects to do much better through at the Junction of Oxford street. Edge with malice aforethought.
ware
road
and
Bayswater
road,
oppo
the summer.”
These rewards ar« not printed In th«
We
sincerely
trust
that
the
"holy
site the marble arch which marks th*
American or Chtneee newspapers, hut
“I guess Saxton doesn't know much
bonds
of
matrimony"
will
not
become
principal entrance to
Hyde
Park
are placed on th« walls of Chinatown
about the business," said Porter.
generally
vitiated
by
the
practice
of
“He knows more than be did. He's all Shops and mansions look out on ths keeping a diary dating from the wed­ There 1s no special animosity against
right, that fellow—slow but sure. He's spot which was once avoided by th*
the particular Individual.
ding day. and that bride and groom
been a surprise to everybody. He's solid superstitious.
with the men. too. they tell me. 1 guess
The London county council hat
ALL CAN SMOKE ON MISSOURI
there won't be any strikes while he's in marked the exact spot where the per
charge."
Si*««
r,«tar,« X4,«ITI,4SO < eh rip«,
manent gallows stood by letting a tab
la 1 no«.
“You'd better get a good man to keep let Into the roadway. It bears an ex j
the accounts." Porter suggested. "Whea­ cellent representation of the old gal
The statistic* concerning Missouri's
ton's pretty keen on such things."
production of corncob pipe»—styled
lows, surrounded by a triangle wltl
“On, that's all fixed. Haxton brought
the '.Missouri Meerschaum." supply a
the following Inscription:
a man out from an Eastern audit com­
good pipe story, though It Is not a
"Here stood Tyburn Tree. Removed
pany to run that for him. and be depos­
pipe dream." According to the fig
1759.”
its with the bank.”
ores compiled by the Missouri Stat*
The
exact
site
was
only
fixed
after
"All right," said Porter, weakly.
Bureau of luibor and Btaaltelx for Ita I
Saxton came and talked to him of the much research and poring over old
annual report there were made In Ml* I
receivership several times, and Porter maps by the county council's archaeo­
sourl "4.671.456 cobpipes In 1908. «ev­
quizxed blm about it in hi* characteristic logical experts. The reason for the
en factories lielng mgaged In their
vein. Saxton was very patient under bis difficulty was that different authorities
production Of this total number 23.-
cross-examination, and reassured the —equally trustworthy—gave two sites
26S.O96 were made In Franklin county
banker by his manner and his facts. Por­ for Tyburn tree, and it was not until
ter had lost his jaunty way. and after the
alone. In addition there were turned
It was discovered that there were real
first interview be contented himself with
out the same year
415,314 wooden
ly
two
of
them
that
the
mystery
war
asking how the receipts were running and
pipe*. 1,729,350 extra stem* and 14»,
solved.
The
spot
now
marked
Is
the
how they compared with those of the
238 pipe cleaners.
year previous. Saxton suggested several site of the old permanent gallows
Th* value of the total product waa
times to Fenton that be would relinquish which It is known was In use In 1198
(431,810, of which Franklin county
the receivership, now that Porter was which was probably standing for man)
county produced (401.643
Th« value
able to nominate some one to his own years before than time and which wai
of th* raw material consumed was
liking. The lawyer would not have it so. removed In 1759. It was replaced by
(233.6X8. the capital Invested In the
He believed in Saxton and be felt sure a movable gallows which was situated
that when Porter could get about and see a few hundred yards away and was
seven factories was (124.547. and the
road to masoi.r rtov
what the receiver bad accomjf shed he
wage* paid exceeded that sum «light­
would be satisfied. It would be foolish finally removed In 1783. when It was will not feel that reasonable precau­ ly. being (128,295
In the manufac­
to make a change until Porter bad fully decided that public executions were tions should be taken against emer­ ture of these pipes there were em­
recovered and was able to take bold of barbarous spectacles, and that men
and women should be hanged In fu­ gencies A diary in the possession of ployed 303 male* and 63 females.
Traction matters in earnest.
either on* of the "happy wedded pair"
Missouri made enough of these
Haxton had suddenly become a person ture within the walls of Newgate pris­
may be regarded with suspicion and pipes last year to supply on* to each
on.
of importance in the community. The
public continued to be mystified by tbe
At the time when Tyburn tree was may Introduce th* first serpent Into man. woman and child In th* State,
It Is carrying concealed and »till have more than 20,000.000
1*^1 stroke which bad placed William bearing Its dreadful fruit Its site was their Eden
Each head of a family in the
Porter virtually in possession of the far out In the country. Oxford street. ] weapons Into th* connubial state, and left.
property; and it naturally took a deep now Ixmdon'a greatest shopping thor j diary toting of this sort Is a* repre­ United States could have been sup-1
hensible as gun toting.
interest In tbe court's agent who was
piled with a Missouri mad* pip«, the1
oughfare. was a country road and was
managing It so successfully. Warry Rarl
The distrust of humanity that Is product of a single year, and have left
known
at
Tyburn
road.
It
Is
the
dl
dan waa delighted to find Saxton praised,
often so marked In the ordinary rela­ about 9,000,000 for export to foreign
and he dealt ironically with those who rect route from Newgate prison. In the tions between man and woman ap­
countries.—Bt Ixtuts Globe-Democrat.
expressed surprise at Saxton's capacity. old city of London, to Tyburn, and It pears to have extended Itself to the
He was glad to be associated with John, was the last road over which the con j relation* between man and woman.
Suited le th* Maeo.
and when bo could find an excuse, h* demned men traveled, sitting tn an
It la not only when poverty comes In
"Well, this Is certainly craxy man­
lik'd to visit tbe power house with him, open cart with a priest or clergyman
and to identify himself in any way pos­ standing beside th*m and a mob of at the door that love files out at the agement!” cried the chairman of the
sible with hie friend's work. During the curious spectators following. Half window; when doubt, comes tn at the committee investigating the State ln-
window, love slips out of the door
extreme cold be paid from his own po--k
way to Tyburn tree there was a liquor Modern marriages with their "mental stlfutlon.
et for tbe hot coffee which wae handed
"But yoo muet remember." pleaded
up to tbe motormen along all the lines, shop known as "Last Drink House." j reservations" and their diaries may the superintendent, "that this Is an
and gave It out to tbe newspapers that at which the condemned man was al­ give the grieving contenders against
tbe receiver wae doing it. John warned ways served with a quart of ale. That ( "the dlvor e evil," another phase of Insane asylum."- Baltimore American
ly go over thia whole buelncea and ho san
easily explain these tuattera."
"It makes a lol of difference," caul
Warry, gloomily.
"We'd better not say anything about
I thia just now not even to Fenton." Sax­
ton »iggveted. “I'll take the«* things
over to my other offk-e for safe keeping
I Some one may waut them badly euougb
to lo-k for them.”
Raridan sat down with hia newspaper
and prvieuded to t-e reading until Saxtou
i was ready to go.
him that tble would appear reckless and
injure him with tbe judge of the court
to whom bo waa responsible.
Though Porter waa not atrong enough
to resume bis business burdens, be was
the better able In hie abundant leisure
to quibble over domestic and social mat-
ten with an Invalid’s unreason. Ils was
troubled because Evelyn would not go
out: she had missed practically all the
eocial gaiety of tbs winter by reason of
bis illness, end bo wished her to feel
free to leave him when she liked. In
hie careful reading of the newspapers be
noted the Items clsaslfiod under "The
Giddy Throng" and “Social Clarkson,”
and It pained him to miss Evelyn's name.
la ths Use of those who “pound," ss “a» I
has long since been destroyed and a
great business building stands on Its
site.
Many famous criminals were hanged l
on Tyburn tree and It Is estimated ,
that at least 1)0.000 persons met their
death there. Claud* Duval, the fa­
mous highwayman, was hanged there,
and John Price, ths original "Jack
Ketch.” the hangman, waa hanged for
murder In 1718 on the very gal­
lows on which he had hanged so many
other men.
the question to ponder over.—St Ixiula
Globe-Democrat
T0N0S OF CHINATOWN.
P!l«F«n Rerret Orfunligt Inns Com-
po«rd of < rlinlnsl Orfentnla*
Th« tongs of Ban Francisco's Chi­
natown are made up of "highbinders,"
or bad men. says the Bohemian, and
their names ar* as follows; Ping Kong,
Busy Bing, Hop Hing. Bo On, Bo
Leung, Buey On. Quong Tuck, Hip
Ying, Hip Bing Buey Ying and Jok
A man may live justly by avoiding Un.
If these eleven tongs have any quar
what he
blame« in others.— Mow-
tors In the new Chinatown It to no4
talgna.
He What did you discus* at your
deballn« club this afternoon! She—
Nothing
We just talked
Magistrate Ar* you a friend uf the
prlaonert lluxoiu Wltneea No, I'm
hie mother lb law
New York World
Hay euniethlii« Io tl»« Bill« boy."
said Hobble's mother. "Bay. kid." »aid
Bobble, otHnilently, "kin you fight
yet T"
"1 hear you spent yeur vacation
with friends" "We wer« friend* dur
ing the first week.“—Louisville Cour­
ier Journal.
"Are you going to take th* late
train to Chicaner' "No. the engineer
of the train ie going lo do that —
laltlnior« American
Customer Give m« a bottle of imp-
•in • Stomach Hitters Druggist W*
haven't any In stock, madam, but
hem's something Just a* bad
"Tlierv ar* two eld** to every ques­
tion." said the broad minded man.
"Yes" answered Heuator
Horgbum,
"a winning aide and a loslog »hi» "
"Why did )ou leave your last
phu'eT” asked the boss
"I got six
monthe off for good behavior," an­
swered th* Job ***ker -Chlcngo Daily
New*.
IToagieellv* H«-*t Mau Got the mar­
riage Ihvnee yet! ¡'r-api’tl«» Brld«^
grieuu No; I'm uot going to ft that
until th* last thing She may «<> back
uu me.
Bees- So you're engaged'
Well,
well!
As for me. I wouldn't marry
the best man on earth.
Je«ke--You
couldn't I've
gut
blm. -Cleveland
Leader.
Scott
muember reading of a very
rich man who said hod sooner lx
poor Mutt Y««. and probably you re­
member reading some«tier« that all
■nen are liars.
"1 can't understand why llrowa
should have failed.“ -“Nor can I. I
always thought ho was doing finely.
Ho often <-«me to me for advice."—
Irolt Free Press
"Did you have a good time at the
Bunday school picnic. Hobby!" "I
should say *0," answered Bobby, eu-
tbuslastlcally.
' There
was three
fights"—Buffalo Express.
"Why, Ethel, what's the matter!”
asked her xnolher, a* the little one
almost choked at th* dinner table
"I
got a piece of brvad head first dowu
my cough pipe," explained Ethel.
"I never have no luck.” "Neither
do I," responded lb* other cltlxen
"Therefore I keep out of enterprise*
requiring large gob* of luck to 1» a
-uccesa "—Louisville Courier Journal
"We," remarked the young married
woman, "try to »«* how tew quarrels
we can have In a year.” "We." said
th* old married women, "try to see
bow tsw cook*."- loulsvlll* Courier-
Journal.
Judge- How did the trouble begin!
Wltneee- It began. >0' honah. wheu de
chairman of de entertainment com
mltlee ewatted de secretary over de
hald wlf de lovin' cup.--Hixton Tran­
script.
Bllllcue We should all strive to
bear each other's burdens Cynlcua—
Yes, most of u* seem to ihlnk we
could bear each other's burden* more
easily than we could our own.—-Phil­
adelphia Record
Ueesle Ob.
Mabel!
I am In an
awful dilemma!
I've quarreled with
Harry and he want* me to send hie
ring back.
Mabel—That's too bad.
Bessie—Rut that Isn't the {mint
I've
forgotten which Is his ring
Kansas
City Journal.
What was the date of th- Union of
th* Crowns!" asked the school In­
spector and the answer was "1603.”
"Right. And why was thia date aa
Important one for you to remember!”
"Because you were sure to ask for IL”
'«turned the little victim of cramming.
De Mill«—Did he have any luck fish­
ing! De Whig—Well, he say» he
caught a number of fish, many of
which would weigh three pounds. De
Quit—Yes. I guess It would take a
great many of the fish bo rough! to
weigh three pounds Chicago Dally
News.
Little Bobby—Papa, did you ever
see a cyclone carrying houses around
up In the air. and cows and horses
and wagons upside down! Pap* No,
my eon. Little Bobby—Did yon ever
see a sea serpent? Papa—No, my son.
Little Bobby—I should think It 'ud lx
tlresofne to live so long and never
anything
"You ran Into thle man at thirty
miles an hour and knocked him forty
feet," said the court
"That, or a
little better. I euppoee," answered the
chauffeur.
"Why didn't you elow
down!” "Mere precaution, your honor.
Once I shut of! speed and hit a man
Tact end Tale««,
»0 gently that ha waa able to climb
Talent feels Ita weight, tact finds Ite Into the machine and give me a lick-
«rny; talent commands, tact I» obeyed;
ng"
talent Is honored with approbation,
"Your husband'll be all right now,”
and tact I» blessed by preferment.-—
said the doctor, rubbing his hand*
London Atlas
with evident self satisfaction. "What
yer nuxtiU demanded th* weeping
Raid Unele tllAai
"It takee a woman longer to get wife "You told me he wouldn't live
Into her dude to go down town shop­ a fortnight.” "Well, I'm going to cur«
ping than It does a man to pack up him after all.” said the doctor; "surely
for a six months' vacation trip."—Loe you're glad to hear such unexpected
newer' Th* woman wrinkled her
Angeles Express.
brow*. "Puts me In a bit of an 'ale,”
In order to do a thin« once eems she said. "Tv« bln and sold all hia
people bars to do It twice.
dwthee for his funerall”