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About Beaver State herald. (Gresham and Montavilla, Multnomah Co., Or.) 190?-1914 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 25, 1907)
e LIV KD BT Il A Nd IN Q KIMSKtF Peculiar toe Itself ll*«MMvk,l«l* < *se of a S'r*n«»b«Maa « ho XV as a t*as«le <«« llarrora. Tn Aelertk>n. proportion and combination of incredirnta. \ Tn lb« proem by which their remedial ▼aluea arc extracted and preserved In effect I venwta, uaefuineas and roonotuy. Curing tbe wide«! ran#» of diFra«* a. Ik?In# the moat rood for tbe mooey, liavin* the moat medicinal merit« And the greatert record of cures,— "The color of a book's cover hel]>« tn sell It," Mid a publisher. “If the row of books stand on a counter, every visitor will examine first the volume , with the atrongeat. brightest binding In usual liquid form or in cbocolsted | that ia to say. the volume bound !u re«!. tablets known as Saraaxaba. 100doses *1. After red a good. «-l«-ar shade of gre.-:i Is the moat catchy color. Then comes Wor*r 5 et. blue, then grey." The timorous Chinaman fled with agslit- Tomas Dixon, Jr., w ho Is famous as Y. but the boys grabl**! h.s Q and yelled th* author of “The Clansman." made “Kill it!” his mark aa a lecturer and clergyman Then they cut off the said before taking to novel-writing, lie was Q clone to his hoa.i. While he danced around like a T ib a boru Jan. 11, lSt-4. in Shelby. N. C. altillet. son of Thomas Dixon, Baptist preacher In 1883 be graduated from Wake For Qnirrtliomr Erreoa*. est colh-ge. an«! In issd from tintan» The mistress of the house always boro law achool. being admit tel to the go»», straight to tbe point, says a writer bar of th* state and reviera! courta In in Punch. “Why did you leave your the aame year. He also eutered the last place?" abe bluntly asked tbe ap- Baptist ministry lu the same Vesr. pllcant for housemaid's place. bolding pulpits In Rale ch. N. C., Bo» "I couldn't aland the way mistress ton. Mass., and New York City. From 1 and master use«! to quarrel, mum." 1889 tv 1908 be lectured, In 1908 be "Dear me. did they quarrel very publish*»! his first txvvel. “The I.eo|>- Often?" aril's Spota." He Is a DMaocrat in "Yes. mum. When 'twasn’t me an' politic*. hm, ’twas me an' ’er." Hood’s Sarsaparilla There «lire! twenfly In Paris a man shs made hl, living by hanging him self. 'I.e IVmler" he was generally called, though lit, real name was Sim eon Hauler, ami h«1 was tvm In IKSt. When a young man h«> aurpriaeil ami puzxhkl the army d«w-t«>ra. Aa he pre- so ited himself for physical examina tion he appeared as a thin, spare-ribbed talknv. alm-st a skeleton, am! t«efore tbe examination was over he strew! In the prewmv of th«» army d<wtor with an enormously Inflated tswly. ** If he lad dropsy. While th«* pliysh'lan was examining this abnormal development it retreated, and a big. bloat<«d tumor m.iu'a suddenly grew «>n th«» young tbrvat. as If h«» Lad an Immemn* goitre He bad. apivarently. In an lustaut transferred the swelling from the low er part of hi, Issly to hl, throat. When the ex*n nhtlon was over tie stood there a skelet»»n like young follow as before. Ilia gifts In bmllly tra nxfartnaflon soon tuvame known all over his native district and he was Induced to ahow himself on the muale hall stage. For a long time h«‘ wa, known aa tlie skele ton man. though h«» also exhibit«»«! him self as the fat man. Hi, physical transformations did not stop here, He wa, able to iniltat«» th«» prorew, ol >f <!y- Ing an»l death Itself to perfection, Rct- entist, an»l th«» member* of vartou* med., al fa ult:»», often wish*«! to ex amine Ills strange fa«-ultiea, but he con stantly refused to divulge th«» re-ret of hi, transformational. When h«» Imttat- e«l the state of a dea«l |,»r*>>n he threw himself Into a perfect coma. Hit I heart apparently reared t«> beat, and I the tnuat ex|«ert physieiaus are •aid to have been unable to detect the slightest move-.n«-nt of his pul-««', They went re far as to apply various Instruments t«> detre ct life wtth'Hlt sutss-s»«, anil even through the stethos>x»p«> not the slight The author of Tbe Blue ,n»l the Gray"—for *-» he will tie kn«>nn so long as tbe American I'uion subsist, six I remember, its one disrupt I v«> war —died a few days ago at Ithaca. N. Y.. of the Well-Informed of the World has having pasaed hla e ghtieth anniver lie was Francis Mlles always been for a simple, pleasant sary June t>. and efficient liquid laxative remedy of Finch, au ex«wllent scholar, lawyer known value; a laxative which physi and judge, but none of his serv ice* in these capacities preserve, his cians could sanction for family use name— nothing but writing a certain because its component parts are wonderful i*<em at the very moment known to them to be wholesome and when It needed to be written. Of truly beneficial ia effect, acceptable course the man who wrote that must to the system and gentle, yet prompt. have written much more verse, and [ In action. not a llttl* of it should be worthy of est action of the heart could be per- In supplying that demand with Its preservation. He was graduated from ■ elve«t. Tbe ni»»*t exi»ert d<x*tors would excellent combination of Syrup of Yale in the class of IMP. The story have «irelare«! him dead, and yet In the Figs and Elixir of Senna, the Cali of the writing of “The Blue and the next instant he would Jump up and fornia Fig Syrup Co. proceeds along Gray" is of interest. In the spring of »-rack jokes staj be as mu<*h alive as 1887 It was related that tbe women of ethical lines and relies on the merits anyone. Columbus. Miss., on Memorial Ikiy. Ills last trick, and one which kept of tbe laxative for Its remarkable strewed flowers alike on tbe graves of he audiences spellboutut was when success. tbe Confederate and Federal soldier» I That Is one of many reasons why Coming as a tender recognition of the ure«l to bang hlmseif by tbe neck with Syrup of Figs and Elixir of Senna is bond. elder than the war of sei-esslon. a corti There was no mere make-be given the preference by the Well-! it touched the heart of tbe North, and lieve about It. He would hang himself, or allow himself to tw b.-inpe»!. from a Informed To get its beneficial effects Judge Finch wrote his poem, which > nail In the celling In the present»* of always buy the genuine—manufac has grown into greater vogue lu the a large audieiu-e. The roi»e would fas tured by the California Fig Syrup Co.. Northern than In the Southern States. ten around bi, throat, hla mureles When Gilbert and Sullivan parted only, and for sale by all leading would stiffen, and th«» frtgtitene«! public druggists. Price fifty cents per bottle. company, all their lovers bad cause to would ree him go through every one of regret It deeply. The reasou why they the phases of a man who was a»’tual!y •eparated has n-K heretofore teen hanged. The ghastly siMstacle was first known officially, tin July 2 W. S. Gil exblblteil In a cabaret In Montmartre, bert wrote to tbe Dublin F.rcni.g n<-r- an«l despite It, horrors, or. rather, on aid to rorreet various errors regarding account of them. It ha»l a great suc FOR himself contained In an article which cess. A story Is told that be once appeared In that Journal. He denied played the trick In a hotel where be that be had prosecuted an organ- was stopping. He hung himrelf from and guaranteed grinder for annoyance, and then ap absolutely the ceiling after ringing the bell, an»! WATERPROOF plied for permission to appear aa hla when tbe writer entered he was horrl- counsel. He denied that he had ever fi«s! by the sight ami ru«h«»d down to spoken rudely to a member of_his com inform the proprietor. B«»for* they re- pany. As for his collaborator, “the turnwl to the r»x>m the mam who was OILED sum SLIORS Separation’ was not tietween ’Gilbert ,upi»osed to have bang*«! himself hail AND HATS and Sullivan.' but between myself and taken up bi, valise and met them quiet- £wy garment guaranteed D’Oyler Carte. It arose from a ques Clean • Ught - Durable ly on tbe stairs. Although It might tion whether a sum of £1,300 for re have been exjiected that some day he Suits *3^2 SlKken»322 furnishing the front of tbe Savoy would bang himself In real eameM. ja r »nr outnn Theatre was properly Include«! In the such a calamity never befell him. fft ro» nt am .*» preliminary expenses of the production ;c * - He die«! of a mist commonpla»-* 111- of “The Gondoliers.’ I bad no quarrel n.-w, the grip, at hl, home near Ttou- with Sir A Sullivan, though ■ cool lon. where he had retire«!, after earn ness existed bet ween us for a time. In ing a considerable fortune on the stage. r conse«iuence of bls declining to Inter- > He never divulge! the secret of how be fere In the difference between Mr. produced the extraordinary righllty of Carte and myseif. This roolnes, laste«! the muscle, of bl, nek when he used a very short time, and was quickly to perform bl., feats of hanging, and done away with by mutual expres carrle«l tbe mystery with him to his sions." grave. D»x»tor, proposed to j»orfi»rm an autopsy on his body to discover his se I.trellme Ga*a* of Edison. cret. but hl, family refus.,1 to allow 1L John Thomas, the man who taught Thomas A. Edison tbe rudiments of l.emoa J a lew for l.eeebee. telegraphy. Is going to accept an In “Wherever you K»>. In (.’ejrlun." said vitation tbe Inventor extended to him to come to Orange, N. Y.. and be a life tbe sailor, “you always carry a lemon time guest at tbe Edison home, says the with you. For punch? No, sir, not for punch. For leeches. New York Evening World. An artistic book with lit t^autiful colored pictures ban published by “They ain’t merely water leeches In Thomas lives In Detroit. Mich. He the Southern Par.fie Company fllu»trat- in$ and describin* tbe attractions of met young Edison when the latter was Ceylon; they’re land leeches, too. this wonderful road and the co ntry a 15-year-oId news hutcher on railroad These bloodsuckers hang Into the bushes through which it passe*. It can be ob tained by sending 15 cent* to Cha« S trains Thomas was a telegraph op and trees aud they lurk In the grass, Fee, Pa>»e <er Traffic Manager, room erator at Fort Gratiot, and the news waitin’ for you. The average size tie 997. Flood Building. San Francisco, Cal . or the undersigned. boy often dropi>ed In to see him. The fore dinner I* only half an inch long When you get ready tn o Ea«t remem and no thicker than a hair—you might operator was 19. That was In 18fll. ber that you ran save two-thirdsof a dem and enjov a through trip direct to < hl- say Invisible. They eaay work their Telling of Edison's Introduction to cago without change, first or second cla*s. by purrhasi! g mr ticket over ti e electricity. Thomas said, according to a way through tiie thread of your stock* O. k. & N . Rhort Line, f'nion Pacific lugs and underwear. After dinner they Detroit dispatch: and Ch rago A: 5ort ‘. *'*Mern. Addr- <s or apply to any O. R. N. agent for "I asked him one day If he wouldn’t are as fat as your fiuger. more complete information, u m. Me- “The only way to get them off with like to be an operator. He was Intent Mur ay, General Pas enger Agent, Port land, Oregon. ly watching me while I was taking a out breakin' them and leavin’ their message. He said be might like It; In beads Inside you Is to squeeze a few fact be thought It wa, Just the thing dro[« of lemon on them, the same as if they was raw oysters. That paralyzes for him. "Well, I got him a job. and there them, and they fall to the ground like you are. I guess the world ought to ripe fruit. Every two or three minutes be glad he dropped In to see me that you see the Ceylonese stop, take out a lemon, and anoint carefully the half day.” Thoms, say, tbe Inventor has al dozen leeches stuck In a black mass to ways been his friend and his given him the calf of the leg. “The average Ceylon leeches was, I a sure-enough Invitation to come and live with him. said, half an Inch long. Yet there’s "Just as soon as I can settle up my some full three Inches king that can affairs.” he declared, “I mean to move jump, by crlnug. that jump on you Into the Edison household.” from the bushes as you pass by. The old operator went on to explain “Sounds d«x>blous, don't It? The New Victor Talking Machine with taper But in' arm brings « very kind of mu^ir and «ong that the Inventor's name shonld not tie what can be dooblou* In a land where to yonr home It brings ther -to »tay the tal ent that >1,000.000 c<>uId not secure for *v«'ti - ne pronounced not Edison, hut E-dlson. they have blrd-catchln’ spiders and night. Magnificent ban i ^elections, beautiful ▼oral bo . OB, comic recitations and stirrl: g m 1 "But I call him Al," be said, “and he centipede* a foot long?” ¿dies. call, me Johnfiny.” The General Demand SERVICE TripstoCalifornia •va “TheRoadofaThous and Wonders” From Portland to Los Angeles Through San Francisco True to Nature Z'?“ VICTOR Talking Machine Yon will have the worth of what you pay over and over again in Real Pleasure and Fatfafa- ion. Other talking machiin s < o«t less than ti e Victor, but there is no economy in th«' p» r h«-e of such, because they do not give r*alhati*fa tlon. Th Victor is not m»- ci n talking n.a chine, it is a mudcal instrumentof me hki.« -t oner. It doea not imitate it reproduce« tiie human voice or tone of any instrument ex art v- preclsely-w thout tbe screeching. serat< hing grating noises aluays present with • cheap’* machines. We seH absolutely new Victors as low in price •« $10. $17 and $22. larger machine« from $3*), $40, $50 up to $100. ta«y term of pay ments if desired. • Tur Mouse or quality ” SHERMAN, CLAY & CO. r. < u. James Dally of Jeffersonville, Ind.. 1, mounting tbe loss of several teeth and Is living on liquid food temporarily, as the result of tbe antic, of a curtain roller spring. Dally has but one arm, and some times used bl, teeth to assist him. A curtain roller spring ts-came disar ranged. and Dally decided to fix ft Placing the spring end of the roller In hla mouth. Dally twisted the other end. Suddenly there was a whfqslng of ma chinery like an alarm clock going off, and Dally Imagined hla head was flying to pieces. Tbe spring had l>een wound so tight It would not stand the pressure, and reversed Its motion, tearing some of Dslly’s teeth out and Injuring otliera rlsh Sixth «nd Morrison St*., opp. the Postoffke PORTLAND. How lie Loef III« Teeth. ORfGON **. ,j-*r that Itress Themsehes. There are several fish In tbe sea that cloth* and adorn themaelven. On* Of these la the anterinarlus of th* Indian Seas, which cover* Itaolf with seaweed, fastened together with glutinous strings, and holds these garment* on with It* forefina. -Hom* Not« XU Murder on Tnrkl.h ’I*,*. On one jHiInt the Turkish cvnsir of the drama 1» Inflexible—there shall be no murder committed on the stage. This is In order to prevent corruption by evil example. The dramatic effect of many plsys I* somewhat marred by the n anner In which the principal, destined to be murdered are rushed off the stage and after receiving the fatal thrust out of sight of lhe audience stag ger bark from the wings to sing their death song. In >11« Line, “He Inxlstx that people should pay their debts.’* “Yea. and he makes ’pm do it, too.“ “Why, he’» not a lawyer?** “I know, he’s a doctor; and he helps them pay the debt of natura”—Hous ton Post The Rennlt of Thcw*ht. Reid He—I suppose you have had ample time to think over the proposal I made you a week ago? Bald She Yes. and the more I thought of it tbe less I thought <rf It » I WHAT IS PE RU NA? Is It a Catarrh Remedy, or o Tonic, or Is it Both? • Some people coll Parana a great tonic. Other* refer to Penina aa • great catarrh remedy. Which of thee* people ar* right* I* it more proper to call Parana a ca tarrh remedy than to call it a tonic» Our reply ia, that Perun* is both a tonio and a catarrh remedy. Indeed, there can be no effectual catarrh rem edy that is not also a tonic. In order to thoroughly relieve any case of catarrh, a remedy must not only have a specific action on the mu cous membrane* affected by the ca tarrh. but it must have a general touio action on the nervous system. Catarrh, even in person* who are otherwise strong, i* a weakened con dition of some mucous membrane. There must be something to strength en the ............... circulation, to ______ give waaw tone *v to **<v the ....... • <rre arteries, and to raise ths vital forcea Perhaps no vegetable remedy in the am.xa-1.1 h.ts k** attracted *» * *—X-1 so much ___ V attention _ AA at . _ world from medical writer* as HYDRASTIS CANADENSIS. The wonderful effi cacy of this herb has been recognised many years, and is growing in it* held upon the medical profession. When joined with CUBEES aud COPAIBA a trio of medical agent* is formed in Pe- __________________ ran* which constitute* a »pecifio rem edy for^ catarrh that in the present •tat* of medical progress cannot be improved upon. This action, rein forced by such renowned tonic* a* C0IX1NS0NIA CANADENSIS, COR YDALIS FORMOSA and CEDRON SEED, ought to make this compound an ideal remedy for catarrh in all it* ttagc* and location* in the body. From a theoretical standpoint, there fore, Parana i* beyond critidan. Th* us* of Perana, confirms this opinion. Numberless teatimoniuls from every quarter cf the earth furnish ample evidence that this judgment is not over enthuainatic. When practical ex perience confirm* a well-grounded the ory the result is a truth that cannot be •taken. So SIsgnlMr. X m V' l*»»t (meeting Johnny) I hate h'ttnd you out. Johuny What aiu I? I Mt Nobotly Johnny UuudmM* gradou* I am dlstxtvervd 1 l‘a Why did you go out In th* rain t relay without an umbrella, John? Johnny^- I at* salt umcker*l this morn ing fur breakfast, ami that kevpa m* dry. Johnny Say. dad. If I ate a chop and you ordered on* and at* it. »list would your ph«>u* number be? Pa- - Gh* It up, sulk Johuuy It would t>* * 11 Util* Kdna What la “leisure. * mamma? Mamma It’s the apare time a woman has in w hich sim cau du noma oilier kind of work, my dear. •Chicago Dally New*. H* (Sententloualy) I always *P««ak my tulud. sh* (tartly) — I suppose that Is why yuu bar* H m « reputation of being a mail of so few words —Balti more American. Mother Whatever are you doing to |fo«>r dolly, child? Child I'm Ju-t go Ing to put her to l>ed. mummy. I'v* taken off Iter hair, but I cau l get Iter teeth out— Sourirw Old l.atiy (Improving the occasion I — You know, boys. It's only th* botly which Iles here. Now-, what la It goes to H«av*u? Small Boy (tentatively) — ’Is ’«»ail. muu>. 1‘lck Me-I p. Nell—Y«k site Mild her tiuaband mar- rled her for her beauty. What do you think of that? Ml* Well. I tli’.nk her Lu,bam! must feel Ilk«» a widower uuw. —Catholic Standani ami l luivs. Mlstre«» Bridget, have you «-enient- ed th* handle ou to th«» water Jug which you dr«p[»eil yesterday? Brblget —I stsrted to. Mum. but moot unfor tunately I drop(*d tbe cement bottle.— Vunctk “Tbe body of the late Major Jinks was cremated." “What they goln’ to du with ItF' “Ills widow has him corked up In a fruit jar. Says It's th* lu,t of tlw family Jarw"—Atlauta Vou- «tltutlou. "Funny," said Baretop, "but there Th* Wife, during a quarrel—I’m go was a time when tbe barbera ua««l to ing right bohi* to mother; so tnero! speak of my hair." Th* lluabaud That's right, dear, uf “You mean before you twgaa to get two evils always cbvavs* th* I om . l'leas* bald?" asked hl* friend. dou't bring your mother her*.—You- “Yes. Now they speak of my hairs," kvra Statevnan. —Philadelphia Presa l’s—You naughty boy. you'v* l*«-n How's Th«».’ fighting again! Johuny No, pa. I wa* We offer On, H un>lrv«l boll.r, Rsward f«r any only trying to keep a t»ad boy from ■as* ■ ■( ' .l.rrh that csasot 1« . i:vd Uy Us ; a hurting a llttl* t»«>y. Pa -That was a Catarrh Cur*. r 1. CHXSEY a co.. Toledo. o m>bl* act. my sou; wbu wa* the little We. the un»l«n»Ua*d. hare tn>*n F J. Cl’t-n*y tor ths Inal 1* year, and i*liara hua boy ? Johnny—Ma. perlretly honorable Inal, b . -a-»• ;ran,a<-*L na liepartnieut Store Manager Th* an i tifian allv ab a to parry out any obligo tlon mads br bi. firm clerk in th«» butter department says he's WALPINO. KINS’AN A MARVIN. Wh.'leaal* Prnggtata, Tolelo,O not going to 11* atwiut our butter any HAll*a Catarrali Cura ia *kr infernally, se*, mor*. Tbe Boas—Wti«t salary duca he ins directly upon Iba biore! an I ra-ioo, ,ur- fa-va nt the ivatem. Tea’montai» rent trre, get? Manager—Eight dollars a weefc. bl<-* 7S rent« par botti*. SoM hy all Irru«« su The Boa»- Give him nln*. TsXe Hair, Family billa lor Constipation. Sweet Singer De Hammer •ay* he Iva, a high place In tbe next show I he “Do you think tbe railways will be goes out with. Comedian— Well, I willing to obey tbe law?” should say It Is high. He sits In th* “Ob, yea,” answered Mr Dustin Hire and tear, up paper for live snow Stax ; ’we'll obey tbe law all right storm scene.—C'hlcag»> Newa. But not until after our lawyers get l»ot—I beanl your soldier brother through explaining It"—Washington wrote you a birthday letter. Wa, tlwra Star. any war news lu It? Johnny—I don’t km/w. You see It was printed ou tbe Whal Moved Hla. envelope "Return In five «lay»." So 1 Blobba dwelt next door to Mr. Hood, Whoa« reputation wasn't good. kept It that long am! then sent It back. And so, on> day. Walter Girl (In restaurant)—We've B!obba moved away— gut frogs' legs, chicken livers, cslv»»,’ lie d d not like the neighbor Hood. brain, and—Johnny (turning to hla Artlatlewlly Speakln*. pa)—I say. dad. they mnst t»e qurer Mrs. Kawler <lo<>k'.n< at photogrsph) people who llv* In this place. Don't —-Ifs an excellent picrure of y ou. but it’s you think they ought to call lu a du«“ an ‘••xcoedingîy poor one of your busband. tar? Mrs. Cro*sway—I know it, but I liks "I* Mra. Wire at tome?” Inquired It ail tbe better on that Account. lie mak<'s sucb an adm.rable—-er—foil, you Mrs. Chatters, standing In the shail-ov of tbe doorway. “I don't know, ma'am.” know. replied the servant "I can't tell till I The Limit. git a better look at ye. if ye’ve a wart “There’* no use talking.“ said »fra. Hewlifua. “Mjr bnsSand ia the crankiest on tbe side o’ yer nose, ma'am, she man that ever drew the breath of life. ain’t”—Philadelphia Pres*. There Js only one time in the year when "Thar, my son, you s<e what lamin' bo feela like going to church, and that’s done fer yer «laddy. don’t you?" "What when the church ia closed for the sununer maw?” “Why. jest a, mon ns the gov- vacation.” er'mtnt knowed that h* could do figg.-ra Hou»ed Her Ire. in bls bead they p'lnted him postmaster Rtubb—I am glad to aay that thè at a year, an' purty soon he’ll l>* foollah old rust/an of fighting at thè sell I n’ stamp, what goes on letters!"— drop of a bat ha* «nnpietely died out. Atlanta Constitution. Penn—I don’t ballere It I dn»pp*d “But” asked the proprietor of tlie my wife’* white auimncr hat while I Bongtong apartment*, “do you think was l«M?klng for my collar yesterday thia man 1, the best one you can get for and abe hax been fighting ever aimw Janitor?" "The best ever!" replieil th* Blobbed of Faith. manager. “He has t„»n at various Blog—Shyster la evidently ■ atuffant times an Iceman and a street car "on- of human nature. ductor. He'a aa sassy and lnde[M»ndeiit Knox—Why do you think ao? aa be can be.”—Philadelphia ITesA Bkyx—He ha* no faith In mankind. “What I would like," said the eager Knox—Ob. fhaCa anally explained. young actress, "fa a part with a death He Ims asRfM'latevl with himself for • scene In it I never fall to make a l>lg good many years. hit when I die." “I don’t doubt It,” A« Me Iella It. replle«! th* heartless manager, "and I Just an Mr. and Mrs. Ferguson were may say that you would make the big getting off th* street car at the crowded gest bit of your Ilf* if you would go corner downtown. Mr. Ferguson felt a away somewhere and die right now."— hand slyly inserted in his pocket. Chicago Record Hera Id. But he did not turn his head. He recognized h m w fe’a delicate touch. Johnny (sitting up In his be«l at 12:30 p. m.)—Dad, I'm so thirsty. Pa— Id* quietly and go to sl«-ep. Johnny (after a pause)—But, dad, I must hav* a drink of water. I’m ao thirsty. Pa— If you don’t go to sleep this minute I’ll hav* to thrash you. A long alien«-*, then Johnny replied—All right, dad. If you’re getting up to thrash me, yon might bring me a glnsa of water at th* same time._____________ _________ When f How to Knjor Whist. "How can one learn to enjoy th* game of whist?”—Aspirant Get yourself roped Into a gam* a* partner to some on* who hcl|>e<! Hoyl* write hl* book. The other two player* must also b* ex[>erts. Htnrt In plea*- untly to enllv*n the game with a few well-chosen anecdotes, now nnd then making the wrong play. After your partner Ims slapjied your ears and sworn at yon and put the black ni rag on y«m and all your ancestry nnd rall<>4 you a fool a few times y«ai will awnk* to the real joy of the gentle and Intel lectual game. We have tried thia sev eral times, but not at frequent Inter vals. and we ren guarantee Its efficacy. —Chicago News. Often a man Impose* on himself when to taxa* bls memory. « BAD BLOOD THE SOURCE OF ALL DISEASE Itwry part ot the Iwxly is <1cprni1i-nt on the blood f«>r nonriahment nn<l •hx-nglh. when thia life atream i, II.»wing through the av«t<-ui in n stalo ot purity snd richucea wo uro aseureil of t»*rfn't mid unintenupte«! health | because pure blood ia nature'saale-gnanl sgainst dbw-nse. When, however, the txaly is fi »1 on weak, inipuie or polluted blood, the t - stem i < «leptivnl of its sttength, disease gerutaCollect, nnd the trouble i t tn-tudr d< I in varioue ways, lhiatulareruptions, pimples, r.ishvgand thedilTcrentakin nffevtiona allow that the blood is in n feverish mid di »eased conauion as n h Butt of too inuch acid or the presi-n«-* of some irritating humor. N »iv, mid I leers at« the result of morbid, unhealthy matter in tho blood, and Rheumatism, Ca tarrh, Scrofula, Contagious lilood I'oiaott, etc., are all deep seated blood disonlets that will continue to grow wots* n.a long as the |- Iren rent si tie. These impurities mid jKtisona find their way into th* bl x»l in x arioua w iva. Often a sluggish, inactive condition of the system, and torpid state of tho avenues of bodily waste, leaves the lefuse and waste matter, to sour and form uric and other acids, whi. h uro taken tip by the blood ml«l distributed throughout th* circulation. Coming in contact with contagious diseases ia another cause for the |>vi,oning cf lhe b!oo»l; we also breathe the germa and microbes of Malaria into our lungs, and when these get into the blo»»»l in aufiicient quantity it bccotnea a carrier of disease iu»t .id i>t health. Noma are ao unfortunate as to inherit bad blood, pctb.ii« th* drefl» < t some old constitutional disease « f ancestors is handed down to them mid they nr« constantly an no veil au I troutdcvl with It. Bad blood is th* oourc* ot ufl dis ease, and until this vital flui.l is cleansed and purified the l-xly is sure to suffer in some way. For blmsl troubles cf any character 8. S. Ji. i, th* beat remedy ever diacowrsd. It g«rea down into the circulatuui aud removes any aud all poisons, supplies tho healthful propsrti** it n<-«xU, ami ci>t«|>l«tcly S.S.S.MMI mid |w(niaiient!y cur«, blood diseases at every kind. The acti.ui <»f *> S. S. is so thorough that herB»!ilary taint, nr* r«tno«nsd and wreak, direasetl blcxxl maite strong and healthy so that div anc cannot remain. It cures Rheumutism, Catsrth, Scrofula, lk»ree Vlceta, Skin iJincaaea, Contugioma PURELY VEGETABLE and lll wxl Poison, etc., mid «!.<-, not leave the slightest trace of the trouble for future outbreaks. The whole volume of blixxl is renewed and cleansed ufter a course ot S. S. S. It is al»«i nuture’1 greatest tonic, made entirely of roots, herbs and barks, and i* absolutely harmless to any part of the avatem. S. N. 8. Is for sale nt all first class ^kxig stores, lkrukou the bhxxl ami any ntixlieal advtce br<- to all who wtrla. THE SWIFT SPLCiriC CO., ATLANTA, GA. ' IRRIGATED LAND IN WASHINGTON <>«r Owe “Mlatah Jinkin«, why aut « *rol<!in’ Flic Wenatchro Valiev lr gat>-«i \p- woman’* tongu*. when it*« fu.n* all pie Orchard* are paving I -<X) t - |b*UM) time?” per acre thia yea”. Cnacadr Orcharda, “I am not auro, <)*orf*. that t un*l«r on«» mile iroin leaven worth, ia now on ■tanj you by is a «coldlng wtunan’t «ml»’ (tel particular« frrr 'roin tongu«. when If* gom< all th* llnu II 0 Peter*, ti’J’J Alaeka Bldg,» Seattle what la th« rwt. G*.trgv?“ “Ain’t no reel tn It Got ratigbt off vo’ b««e J«t tim», didn’t yo*, Mietab Jia km*y PLATES “Ixidi*« and gentlemen, the eminent tenor, M'sieo Yelike I'hewry, will now FOR PRINTING aing the favorite e*nfIntent ballad. ’An HICKS-CM ATTE N ■ wer Me the Old, Old Quest «»n. Lot« PorXland (Wrgoa tl*w lS> You Kat a Roft Shell Crabr” ngraving write Us E r’Tfl VtlW t'««e» amt all N«vve«« DUtoato«« f . I A twrrnutnaoUy > urwl bv l»r kutwt «ir««B >«rva K«ai»>r*r »'•«'4 *»r FHF-I> trial b«cU« aa»l trwataa*. L>r H. IL X ILtot. i«L. S*i Anh Ot.. 1‘teUa,. l*w Ww*« V’P- Baron Haa lie breu aucrrweful with hl* new a Irak Ip? Egbrrt Partially *» He gor* “up In tb* air” every time hr trim tn atari (be thing Yonkers Statesman. 20 Mule Team BORAX will c !»«*•« »«*•> «»(Ir)« ia jrestf B list «as <»» t«» iu aka ih»Hi I rlabt ani fur silver <>« i**IM al*« * hi«h isiii.h All dMletw Nairi'lo »L«ij,|«M aasd T rl»r«««K« W III/. bto Fasti!« Caas« Mu«al «a. < haklaaTtSU ArenrdlMi CASTOR IA to Itulra. Sentry You can’t leave. Soldier Hut 1 hate the raptaln’g oral |wrmla«lon. Sentry i lni|*»rtantly I I>f* «re It-— Translated for Tran«ntliintlr Tnlr* from II Motto f»rr Itlderr. For Infants and Children. The Kind You Have Always Bought Bear, th« Blguatu; o uf M'*thera will find Mr« Wtnalow*« S>--thfng Byrrup th» I, «1 re nmly to Hao fi»r their < iutitag lhe toothing period. 1 «eareblr. The profe««xtr welcoming a niece* who had just returned from a trip abroad. “Had « fine time, had )oti?” hr naked. “Perfectly splendid.** “Vet you were going around between •bower« all the time.’ “Wbv. how ran you talk ao I It didn’t rain x drop while I - “Ikon*! interrupt me. rhlld. I know what 1 am saying It was raining when you «tarted «way from here aud it*a ram* ing now. Comi»r«hend?“ Knellah «nd I rrark II n»h<tnda. When an Knglish wife ha« hyaterlct h«*r huiilMtnd 1« Immedlatcl) bored and g<x*n to hl« club or elne he «ay« “You are not very well, my dear Shall I •end for a doctor?** The Frenchman» au contralre, hna hyatrrlr«. too. The Frenchman may fight with hi« wife, love h«r. hate tier, kl«* her or kill her, but Indifferent to her. «n|>rrior to hej, never!- Pol de !,eon In Mindon Workt JACOBS OIL CONQUERS FO* WTITFNrM, SORrNtM, «mxiN OR RRUIRg, NOTHING ia BtTTtR THAT YOU LUM BA or BAIN, RHiUMATlC TWINGE, YOUR BACK FttL* LIKt A RUBTY H!NG*| BCfATIC ACHtS Al L PLtA&URI * BPOIL, 2C©.-X¿¿ r)ffi/GG/57^-00o. F or HAFWrias U3t *T. JACona oil . T-S'TTF T military academy X&IJL j JL j A boardlni «n»t day arhnnl (or yminjr men and t-oya Acrredlted in Stanford, Berkeley, < ornali, Xmherat and all «tal* ontvera l i I «Krlrtihtiral <•«> !»•«••• The prlio lpai I ir ^ ìir I 2« vear* exprrienre iti Portland. -Make r>’»*rvatlon« Bow. >'or lllu*trate>l « ataioau« a«id oth»*r literaturr addr»»M J. W. HILL. M. 0.. Principal and Propriator. PORTLOD. ORFGOR Fresh front the Far to the Can in Mairte Preferred Stork Sweet Com ia p.-u ke l f >r tia there becauat the Maine «<>i. and climate combine to produce the awertest, tendered, most delidoua corn in the world; tanned right in this wonderful corn garden—gathered and pn< ked the wine thy, with original criapnesc and awertnesa perfectly preserved. Thia is the secret of “sweet com goodness’* in Preferred Stock Canned Goods Fa«k«d Wh*r**sr th* D m ! are Or<>«a Tit nf tie ernft PRE TERR ID RTOf.'K—atyourGroctr^t ALLBK S I.BWI3, Wbol,ul. Grocer,. PORTLAND. ORBGON, ü. B. A. W. L. DOUGLAS $3.00 & $3.50 SHOES TH-t“wToR1o f^vXHOKS FOR fVFnY MFMfltR OF THE FAMilY, AT ALL «RICH dftOJE ( Fo nrvy on» who own pro vw W.t. 9A3,UUU Douai., d... not maAaasatf fyraiaraw > more Men's ¿¿9 4 ¿¿f.fif/wftooo u I th»n»nv»th»r m»nufactur»r, THE REASON W. ! . I tongl«* *howi arw worn hv nmra firopl« In all wal><s oilifa than any other mnkaIs loeauw of llirir e i reliant at via, hmv fitting, and Rupert r wearing qualitm«. 'J ha ««lection ofthaleathers and o»har material* for each part of the ahna and ev«rv da tad of lit« making i r looked after hv the rnoRt coat plate organization of Rtn*«rin Undent«, foreman un<i •killed vionrnakerw. who rrret vo th« high«?«* w agnu pnidintli« •¡.cm nduatry, «nd who-« work tnannhip cannot 1.« MaaUed, If I nould taka you nln m vlarg« f artnria« at Brockton .Mam., andshow you how cnrefully W. I.. I »otiRla- ehors ar« rna<l«. you Would then undRrwtand whv they hild t heir «hapa, fit battar, wear on gar and are <»f greater vidue than aay other maha. °° a,ir TDtfMnaa o.noof to ««wtotf af a«y mtore. CAUTION I The genuine have W. I.. I rouglaa earn« and prion ■ tarn ped on bottom Taha No Sab.tltnt.. A,, ym»»»!•.!., (nr W 1. I innalM ih<w II b. .»ll>vly yos. «itorelreMv/. aks..Msl.v,ry*k*r*b/auil CMstolm. W.L. toral**, BrathM.Mas»