IN A BARBER SHOP.
jWhct Happened Whan Shadby tost
1 H!s Patience.
The linrhcr h.ul performed the oper
ation with skill and tlextority, nnd as
ho was about to drop the foot rest and
bolt Sb.idtiy unricht lie huppoiiod to
thinti of liis stereotyped list of quea
tioii.s and lH irnn:
"Face? r.uiss:i;r, sir?"
"Xo, not tkiay."
, "Hair singed?"
! -No."
i -Shampoo?"
j -No."
! "Klertrie soaip treatment?
"No."
IM;-r's dandreS cure? Bog pardon,
sir. lu; y. ;i ;'0i li."
"No, not t!:.y."
"Faker's skiu food?"
i "No.-
".Mar.lotirp or shoe shine?" (..Silence.)
"Il.ilr and mustache dyed?"
By this time Shadby had lost all pa
tience, and. whirling on the innocent
.talking machine, he shouted: "No, no,
no! 1 don't want any of the things
tou rattled off, nor do I want n, Turk
ish bath or to be measured for a suit. 1
!ont watt my teeth filed nor n third
jj.jj grafted on. I don't want to be fit
ted to spectacles nor take a chance In
a lottery. I came In to pet a shave,
and I asked for a shave. If I had want
fil a .glass eye put in I would have
asked you. S-h-a-v-e, that's what I
wanted. Now proceed with the comb
and brush finale!" Boston Globe,
f
ALL NIGHT BAKERIES.
. His Greatest Happiness.
Four-year-old Lee's older brother
was just convatoselng from nu attack
of typhoid fever, nnd the fact that all
solid food had been forbidden not
even much liquid could be given had
mada a very strong impression on
life's mlud. The little fellow nnd his
mother were invited out to dinner with
a friend. Shortly after our arrival
there the friend said: "Well, Lee we
Jwven't any playthings for little boys.
What shall we do to amuse you?'' And
Xee replied, "Just let me eat." Deline
ator.
Where New Yorkera Can Have Want
Supplied at Any Hour.
Among the many places of business
of one and another sort that In a great
city are kept open nil night are bakeries.
The bakery is a peculiarly domes
tic business establishment, supplying
mostly homo wants, and as most peo
ple work days and sleep nights it
might be supposed that there would
be no occasion to keep bakeries open
nights, but here, where with the city's
manifold industries there "must be a
large number of people working at all
times to keep things going, there are
bakeries that do keep open aud flud
trade at all hours.
Some of these all night bakeries
have lunch room attachments, where
people stop in to eat going to or from
work, while others do a bakery busi
ness only. At either customers come
In at all hours of the night to buy
things to carry away, just as people do
at any hour of the day, for the people
who go to work at midnight or at 1, 2
or 3 o'clock in the morning want bread
and bakery stuff before they go, just
the same as do those who begin their
labors at 7, 8 or 9, and there is likely
to be In their neighborhood an all night
open bakery where they can regularly
supply their wants.
From 2 to 5 a. m. are the hours that
mark low ebb in the all night bakery
trade, but customers jre dropping In
all night long. New York Sun,
ANCIENT GUNS.
I Nothing New.
' Pompous Briton Ilaw! You bloom
ling Americans don't hare the "master
of the hounds," as we do over in Eng
land. Bluff Individual What are you glv
llng us, beau? Why, I was master of
ithe hounds in an "Uncle Tom's Cabin"
ishow for ten years. Boston Tran-
iJSCl-Ipt
j In Paris.
I Mrs. Jonah Q. Perks (on her first
jvlsit to Paris, addressing Maitre d'Ho
tel) Say er Gassong, oo ay le din
ing room?
f Maitre d'Hotel First floor on the
Tight, madam.
Mrs, J. Q. P. (with relief)-Oh! You
speak English? Punch,
The Constant Kicker.
"Not so many years ago people would
have laughed at a man who proposed
to do business by talking through a tel
ephone." "Yes," answered Mr. Sirius Barker.
"Once they would have laughed. Now
they feel sorry for him." Washington
Star.
! His Long Standing.
! "Ah," said the doctor, "nervous dys
Jjepsia! Is it a case of long standing?"
1 "Yes," replied the patient "That
may have sometbipg to do with it."
"What do you mean?"
i "Long standing. I'm a motorman."
i Catholic Standard and Times.
An Exception.
'Always say what you believe.
No please don't."
Why not?"
I expect you to believe that yonr
"baby is the cleverest one In the world,
tout I wish you wouldn't talk about It"
; Cleveland Leader. , .
Rema.-kable Weapons That Were Used
by the Turks and Chinese.
At the siege of Khodes the Turks
constructed mortars by hollowing ou
cavities in the solid rock at the proper
angle, nnd In the arsenal at Malta is a
trophy of the long and glorious defense
of Yaletta in a Turkish gun, about a
six pounder, composed of a copper tube
coiled over with strong rope and "jack
etcd" with rawhide. In the same col
lection are some antique "quick firers,"
breechloaders, with small bores and
immensely long barrels. like punt guns,
The Malay pirates put great trust in
the long brass swivel guns called
"lela," and in Borneo these lelas were
used as a kind of currency, large sums
being estimated In guns.
The Chinese cast excellent bronze
guns (there is a fine specimen of them
in AJevonport dockyard), but so little
did they understand gunnery that in
the so called "opium war" the forts of
the Bocca Tigris, defending the Can
ton river, had the guns built lmmova
uiy into tne walls, xne SIKH gunners
opposed to England in the two Punjab
wars, though they loaded with amaz
ing recklessness, shoveling in the pow
der from open boxes, stuck to their
guns to the last. The blood of the first
man killed was smeared on the gun
and the whole detachment died beside
it sooner than retreat Chambers'
Journal.
Too Much of a Tonic.
When Mr. Chlnchin returned home
from Chlnchin & Chinchin's the other
day he found his wife lying worn out
upon the sofa.
Notning wrong, I nope:" he ex
claimed.
"I'm afraid I shall have to stop that
tonic the doctor prescribed for Tom
my," Mrs. Chinchin faintly murmured.
"Why? Isn't he any better?" asked
Chinchin.
"Oh, yes, but I think the tonic must
be too iuvigorating. Why, he has slid
down the banisters six times this
morning, broken the hall lamp, twa
vases, a water jug and a looking glass,
tied a tin can to the cat's tall and
scribbled his name on the drawing
room paper. Of course it's very grati
fying, but I don't feel I could stand
much more, so I think I I'll stop th
tonic."
I
Those Villas.
i Stubb Looks pretty barren around
ihere.
Penn And yet the agent advertised
it as the "land of plenty."
i Stnbb H'm! He must have meant
plenty of mosquitoes. Chicago News,
A Warning.
! 1
The Slugger An' see here; you don't
wanter lie goin' around braggin' dat it
as me wot soaked you, sec!
Elevator Etiquette.
"Do you think a man ought to take
ff his hat in an elevator when there
are ladies present?"
"Not if he ia prematurely bald and
ithe ladies are young." Houston Post
Entirely Different
"What! Spend $100 on a bathing
"Now. bnbby, tbia lan't a bathing
mlt Tbia Is a beach costume.--Kan-mm
City Journal
Bats Inside Bamboo.
The cutting down of a clump ot
bamboos in the royal botanical gar
dens, Singapore, shows that the hol
lows in the stems of these plants may
afford a dwelling place for bats. On
the splitting of a joint three bats flew
out, and it was perceiTed that others
were within. Care was taken to pre
vent further escape, and later exami
nation of the Joint revealed the pres
ence of twenty-three bats in the hol
low. Four of these were adult females
and nineteen young ones. Other bam
boo Joints were also found to contain
a number of bats. The species la
known as Vesperugo pachypus. Lou
don Scraps.
The Proper Question.
The man with the glassy eye and
preternaturally solemn demeanor put
down a sovereign at the booking office
at Charing Cross and demanded a
ticket. "What station?' snapped the
booking clerk. The would be traveler
steadied himself. "What stations have
you?" he asked, with quiet dignity.
London Globe.
A Criticism.
"He said this skirt of mine was a
perfect symphony."
"Maybe, but it's not well conducted."
"What do you mean?"
"It drags." Cleveland Leader.
DAMES AND DAUGHTERS.
Miss Mary Nye of Columbus, Miss
Bertha Sulzberger of Bellalre nnd Mrs.
Irvine C. Miller of Springfield, O.. have
boeu appointed deputy Inspectors of
workshops and factories.
Mrs. Eva Tnlbert of ' Cincinnati ia
said to be the only womnu structural
Iron worker In the world. She helps
her husbaud put up tire escapes, fre
quently working at dizzy heights on
the tops of tall buildiugs.
Helen Mathers, well known as a
writer lu England, has decided to ex
change the pen for the brush aud will
go into business as a decorator. Thin
is said to be the first Instance of a
woman's exchanging a literary voca
tion for business.
Mrs. Asher iiichardson of Asher-
town. Tex., has been appointed assist
ant general superintendent of the Ash
ertown Gulf railroad. Thirty-two miles
of the road have been completed, and
it is now being extended sixty miles
more. Mrs. Itlchardson has charge of
the employment and work of a large
body of men.
Miss N. Edwars of Coaley. Glouster
shire, is said to be the highest author
ity in England on poultry. She has
won over 1,000 prizes and exported
poultry into every country. Beginning
In a small way with only twenty fowls,
her poultry farm is uow one of the
largest in England. She does not raise
chkkeus for the general market but
sells eggs and stock birds.
Notice For Publication.
Department of the Interior,
U. 8. Lund OHl-c- at The Dallea, Oregon.
October 9, 11109.
Notloe is hereby given that Archie Z. Bnr
nArd, of Hardman, Oregon, who, on April 8th,
1(108. mado homes' pad entry No 15948, for HV4
SKK'.KV4 8W ! mid lot 3, section 111, township
4 south range 21 K W ,M. haa filed notice of In
tention to make final commutation proof, to es
tablish claim to the land above described, be
fore J. P. Williams, 0. 8. Commissioner, at hla
office 'at Heppner, Oregon, on the 22d day of
Noverabdr, 11KI9.
Claimant names as witnesses:
Edward Merrill, Fred Knighton, Frank
Cramer and Maurioe Devore all of Hardman,
Oregon.
Oo 21 Novl8 C. W. MOOKE, Register.
M OVER 65 YEARS'
EXPERIENCE
The Real Want.
'What we want Is a square deal."
'Oh, we'll compromise on that in a
pinch. What we really want Is
shade the best of It" Louisville Courier-Journal.
Insincere.
Oh, John, don't you wish we could
sit here and spoon forever?"
'l'es, dearest. But let's go now. I
think I hear the dinner bell:" Boston
Post.
It costs the deTil little trouble to
catch the lazy man-German- Proverb.
College and School.
There are now in the schools of New
York city nearly 26.000 more pupils
than there were one year ago.
Fifty-nine more students were regis
tered at stautora university this year
than last. The total number is 1.537,
of whom 45S are in the freshman class,
Miss Mary Snow, an instructor in
Pratt institute, New York, has been
called to Chicago to be supervisor of
the household arts department in the
public schools.
Miss Agnes Irwin, dean of Eadellffe
college, resigned Sept. 1. and with her
withdrawal one of the most prominent
educators of the day ceases to take ac
tive part in school work.
Hawksned Grammar school, near
Ambleside, where Wordsworth was
educated and which was founded in
15S5 by Edwyne Sandys, archbishop of
York, will shortly be closed.
fA- Trade Marks
.;, Designs
'HI" Copyrights Ac.
Anvone sending a sketrh and description may
quickly uscertuln our opinion free whether an
Invention is probably patentable. Communica
tions strictly conBdeutlal. HANDBOOK on Patent
sent free. Oldest iitfencv for securing patents.
Patents taken through Munn A Co. recelre
tprcuU notice, without charge, lu the
Scientific Jlmericatte
A handsomely Illustrated weekly. Largest clr
dilution of any scientific journal. Terms, 3 a
yenr: four months, II. Sold byall newsdealers.
MM & Co.36'Broad"""'' New YorK
Uranch Omce. G V rJU Wasniugton. U. u
AVfcgetable Prcparationfor As
similating thcFoodandRcgula-
ung me sroinacns anauowcis oi
British Briefs.
Income tax is paid on King Edward's
private estates.
England's first Sunday newspaper
appeared in 1780.
Sixty-six out of every hundred per
sons in England have light colored
eyes.
The first school for the blind in Eng
land was established at Liverpool in
1701.
England has seventy-eight artesian
wells varying from 100 to 1,000 feet
in depth.
Advertisements were once taxed
3s. Cd. each in England and 2s. Cd.
Ireland, but the tax was abolishd
1853.
at
in
in
Sporting Notes.
Toledo has formed a motorcycle club.
The New York Amateur Athletic un
ion has 8,900 members.
The Ottawa (Canada) Rowing club
mav erect a new clubhouse.
The minor baseball league clubs have
lost 200 players this fall by draft or
purchase.
The Toronto Baseball club's new
grand stand will be modeled after the
Philadelphia National league team's
Admtnlstralar's Suln of Ileal
Property,
In tho Circuit Court of the Stato of Oregon,
for Umntllla County.
In the matter of. the estate of Kate Cunning
ham, deceased.
' Notice is hereby given that the undersigned
as administrator of the fstate of Kate Cun
ningham, deceased, pursuant to order of tho
above entitled County Court made on Decun
ber 21, HI09, will oiler for sale at public auction
to the highest bidder for cash, at one o'clock p,
m.. on January 2'ith, 1910. at the frout t'oor of
the Court House of Morrow County, Oregon, in
the town of Heppner in that oounty, the follow.
ing described leal property belonging to said
estate, in said Monow County, to wit: Thi
east half of section 16 in township 1 south of
range 29 east of Willamette Meridian: all tale9
to be made subject to confirmation by said
County Court.
Oated December 23. 1909.
ICHAULKS CUNNINGHAM.
Administrator of the estate of Kate Cunning
ham, deceased. Dec30 Jan27
NOTICE FOR PUBLIC ATION. Isolated Tract,
Public Land Sale.
Department of the Interior,
U. 8. Land Office at La Grande, Oregon,
December 24th, 1909.
Notice 1 hereby given that, as directed by the
Commissioner of the General Land Office, under
provisions of Act of Congress approved June
27, 1906 34 8lats.. 6171, we will offer at publio
sale, to the highest bidder, at 10 o'clock a.
onjtbe 17th day of February 1910, at this offloe,
the following described laud:
The W'j SW"i section 82. T 2 and the 8W)4
NEii section 6, T. 3 8., R. 29 E. W. M., serial No,
05948. :
Any persons claiming adversely the above-
described land are advised to file their claims.
or objections, on or before the time designated
for sale.
Dec30Jan27 F. C. BRAMWKLL, Register.
' COLON It- EBERHARD. Keceiver.
NOTICE FOR PUBLICATION.
Department of the Interior,
United Btates Land Office, l.aGrnnde, Oregon,
December 20, 1909.
Notice is hereby "given, That the State of Ore
gon, has this day filed in this oflice its applica
tion to select under the provisions of the act
of Cangiesa of August II, 1848, and the acts
supplementary and nmendatary thereto, th
SSKfcWKandSW! N W!4 section J28, T 1 8, R
27 E W M, serial No. 07420.
Any and all persons claiming adversely the
lands above described or desiring to object be
cause ot the mineral character of the wnd or
for any other reason to the disposal to applicant,
may file their affidavits of protest in this office
at any time prior to the approval or certiflca-
lion of said selection by the Honorable Com
missioner of the Gt neral Land Office
Deo 30 Jan 27 F. C BRAMWELL, Reg-ster.
vk-' ."iSS A A flu fcoMlesTof GENUINE'
w Jl if. ft CYKUS NOBLE direct to you
ij. sly j . J1 charges paid to tho near-
3vJj4IL t railroad expreu I office,
A -C .J.lt V .-A. ..i,...w,.-,-,-l-g.'fcM'll .! iliSMIIMWI',,
1
Promotes DigcstioaCheerful
ness and Rest.Contains neither
S)ium,forpiiiie norrlincraL
OTlMARCOTXC.
Mlx.SmM
JPfitnnint - ,
lit CtutvrtaltSoia-
IfSnttStrJ.'
ClnntudAiMf
Hintrnjrmn. fUnvr.
Aperfccl Remedy forConslipa
Tion, Sour Stomach, Diarrhoea
Worms .Convulsions Jcverish
ness and Loss OF SLEEP.
Facsimile Signature oP
NEW VOUK.
I nv . II 'mil; I
II I -N M.W YtlHli. -J
EXACT COPY OF WRAPPER. jp
Tjrrrr.TT:::;:;'::;.:;::::::::.1 -,1.,
minimi1 n ' i i u nu iirimi nun ,
I I
For Infanta and Children.
The Kind You Have
Always Bought
Bears the
Signature
of
IF
In
Use
For Over
Thirty Years
Pit
Kip iW,'''M HWfWTTrfWf'i
ii. i ! iiWa Wfftlh .Hi.).
THt eCNTAUN OMMNV HtW TO UK OlTT.
OFFICERS
W. O. MINOR, President
J. H. Mc HALEY. Vice-President
W. S. WHARTON, Cashier
VAWTER CRAWFORD, Asst. CaBhier
DIRECTORS
W. O. MINOR
J. II. McHALEY
W. Q. SCOTT i
C. E. WOODSON
W. S. WHARTON
k of Heppner
Capital, I Fully Paid.
Undivided Profits -
$50 000 00
2259 33
Four Per cent Interest paik on Time and Savings Deposits
Your Banking Solicited
The Pastime
Finest Line of High Grade Cigars in City
Candies. Nuts, Soft Drinks
Billiards and Pool
F. E. WESTERBERG. Prop
PflLflCE HOTEf :
HEPPNER, OREGON
Leading Eastern Oregon Hotv
MODERN CONVENIENCES
ELECTRIC LIGHTED . . .
Under New Management. Thoroughly
Renovated and Reflitted. Beat
Menla in the City.
HADDOCK 4 CO. Props.
International Cor. Schools
acrnnton, JPci.
Can eie you thorough training; in any of the following professions
Mark X before coarse you desire information about.
K l Writ er,
Com nireUI
EulUh B.-a
H3: II
Electrician,
Booh Keeper,
Law, Illustrator,
, Marine Engineer,
Draftsman,
mrhes.
U orker,
Architect, Plsmber,
Mechanical Engineer,
Civil Engineer, Surveyor,
Aseayer. Chemist,
Mining Engineer,
Contractor and Builder.
BOX
Frenoh, German and Spanish with Edison Repeating Phonograph.
H. V. REED, Representative
19 PORTLAND, OREGON
from the bet known, strictly wholesale house in the Northwesu-
Established in Po'tltnd in lM.
4 qaaru GENUINE CYRUS NOBLE $4.90.
A jure old honest whiskey bolilcd by the distillers.; .
Guirtntecd to the United Stte Government, nd to you, to contain noltunf
Mny ol the railroads use Cyru Noble almost exclusively.
So do the bi'ttemship companies.
So docs nearly every bit metropolitan hotel.
Because it's pure.
n :. i
Becauae it haa that soft, delicate, palatable flavor of the ripened rmui, often
meulioocd but rarely found.
W. J. VANrSCHUYVER'& CO
EiUbliihed 1864 105-107 Second Street Portland. Orfgoo
tut at this tmt o ji.to-o
Cat 0t th Coupo
W. J. Vu Sdmyvr A Cx, rtkU. 0r .
Eadowl plot and $4-0 (or ka fleas scad m at ooce by opiaa, prepaid, four truarU
CENUINE CYRUS NOBIX.
f O KI
u.
NOTICE FOR Pl'BLICATION,
Depnrtrnotit of the Interior,
8. Lnd Oflice at LaGrande, Oregon,
January 10, 1910.
Notice Is hereby ntvem that Oliver A. Devln,
ol Heppner, Ore'n. who. on December lti, 1H04,
made homedtcad entry No. 14(ml, aerial No.
(M3M. for lot 4. 8W4 ol NW'4?and WVJofBW
section 5, township 2 8 range tf E Willamette
Meridian, has filed notice of intention to make
final five-year proof, to establish claim ;to the
land above described, before J. P. Williams. U.
8. Commimioner at hia office, at Heppner, Ore.
gon, on tho 28th day .of February, 1310.
Claimant name aa witnesses:
Jamea A. Brown. John H. Edwards. Oscar O.
Edwards and rilfflin J. Devln, all of Heppner
OreKon.
JanlFebl7 T. C. BRAMWKLl Register.
Gazette and Semi
weekly Journal $1.75.
Notice For Publication.
Department of the Interior.'
U. B. Land Oflice at LaGrande, Oregon.
;Octoher 11. 1WW.
fNotlce is hereby Riven Shat Artimm Brown
ol Heppner, Oregon, who, on Jnly 11th, 19nf
made homestead entry No. ISi',96. serial Nor
07057, for t&'.i NE'i N'4 8E!i. section 18, town
ship 5 8. Range 27 E. W. M has filed notice of
Intention tj make final five year proof, to es
tablish claim to the land above described, be
fore J. P. William, O. 8. Commissioner, at hla
office in Heppner, Oregon, on tha 6th day ol
December, 1908.
Clrimant names a witnesses:
Charles Kidgeway. Enoch Cave, John F.
Ridirewar and Walter Davis, all of Heppner,
Oreson.
OclNovl8 F. C. BRAMWELL, Regietr.
KBlgkta of Pyttala.
Doric Lot) re No. 20, K. of f. Meets every
Tneeday even in. Thritlnf members invited,
YAWTKB CRAWFORD, UC
GiKFiriDCBAWFOD. K.cf B.ft.
t
I