V TT Lf t
Original
"I am a philosopher," said Colonel
IXmovnn, "niul no ninn can be that
wiilnuit helnjr a woman hater. A man
.oesn't pet to be a philosopher till he
Is past ml.Mle ajje. Then he lupins to
see the shallowness of earthly expecta
tions and enjoyments. It Is the same
villi his views of woman. In youth
he looks upon woman women who,
like himself, have not grown old; of the
older ones he takes no account ns
something so pure and holy that he is
unworthy to tie her shoe. But when
the day comes for him to associate
with those who have turned thirty-five
he has no use for them. His mother,
his sister, his wife? Oh, Hiey are a
part of himself. They are not in the
world of romance, but of family af
fection." Now, the colonel, despite his hobby
this belief that he really hated the soft
er sex was an excellent man. He had
been jilted in his youth by a girl who
was unworthy of him, and, strange to
say, she was to him in his maturity
the only saint lu the lot.
The remarks quoted above were
made to he major's wife, who, Wy the
way, was a warm friend and admirer
of the colonel, preliminary to asking
her to pet him a housekeeper. It was
a month after a promise to that effect
that a woman arrived from the east
and was duly Installed in the position.
Her hair was grizzly gray, her cheeks
furrowed, her eyes covered by dark
brown poggles, and she was dressed in
execrable taste. The colonel thanked
the major's wife that Mrs. Yorgany
was just the thing. No such unat
tractive creature could possibly have
the assurance to try to snare him, and
If she did, were she possessed of magic
arts, her looks would defeat her.
Mrs. Yorgany possessed but one at
tractive feature, a pleasant voice. At
first the colonel would give his orders
for the day to his housekeeper as he
would to the adjutant, and when she
asked a question or made a suggestion
he found himself soothed by the
smooth tones in which she spoke.
One evening when the fire in her room
wouldn't burn he Invited her to sit
with her sewing beside the table In his
living room. He was very much Inter
ested In a book he was reading and
wanted some one to talk to about it
He found a willing listener In Mrs.
Yorgany. For one hour while he talked
she listened attentively, but spoke nev
er a word. The next day the colonel In
formed the major's wife that his house
keeper might be homely, but she was
an excellent conversationalist After
this he invited Mrs. Yorgany to use his
sitting room whenever she liked.
The next evening the old lady, being
again turned out of her room, was
pressed by the colonel to sit by his
table. Thinking it best that he should
Inform her of his opinion of women, he
did so and with his usual brusqueness
when speaking on that subject. What
was his surprise when she replied,
"My late husband was a woman hater,
and he got all his points from me."
"You, Mrs. Yorgany! You a"
"Women have all the characteristics
natural to their condition. Man's
strength causes him to rely upon open
method; woman's weakness tends to
duplicity. Then the part nature gave
her to perform, the care of children,
develops different faculties from those
needed by man, who fights the battle
for family maintenance."
The colonel put out his hand impul
sively. "Shake, madam, shake! By
Jove, you've more sense than any wo
man I ever met or heard of. I want
you to make yourself at home in these
quarters in this room anywhere you
like. In future I shall give you no or
ders, but a carte blanche to run every
thing to suit yourself."
From that time forward Mrs. Yor
gany was indispensable to the colonel.
Gradually he became accustomed to
her uncouth appearance, and when at
the end of the third month of her serv
ice she offered her resignation the colo
nel swore he would put her under ar
rest and prefer charges against her for
deserting her post When she stuck to
her intention he shut himself up for
three days, then offered to marry her.
The next day the colonel received a
note from the major's wife asking him
to call. On his arrival Mrs. Major In
troduced a middle aged spinster of at
tractive mien, a lifelong chum of hers.
Florence Wood. The colonel stared at
Miss Wood with astonishment. Khe
appeared to he a revised edition of
Mrs. Yorgany. The goggles were gone;
the furrows were gone; everything was
gone that was ugly. She stood regard
ing the r-olo!icl with a smile on her lips
and her eyes danr-ing with mischief.
"Colonel," said Mrs. Major, "I had a
bet with my hmbnid that I could in
duce you to marry a fright within
Ihr'-e i :'!''.;s. The time is up today,
and I have won. I knew my friend
riort-n'.e Wool possessed the tact and
good sense to bring down just such a
man as you within the allotti-l time. I
brought hor out here, giving her as dis
agreeable an appearance and name as
l.ossible, to eapture you. You have
swallowed the bait, hook and all."
'But but Miss Wood is young. The
glamour of youth is still there," blurted
the astounded colonel.
"I am past middle life," laughed Miss
Wood. 'T am thirty six."
"And she had no glamour of youth
hen she caught you," added Mrs. Ma
jor. The colonel was much cast down
"when Miss Wool averred that she did
It all to please her friend and that It
was but a Joke. She took her departure
the next day, but the colonel, turning
over the command to the major, fol
lowed her and never gave up until b
brought her back as bla wife.
T. ANTHONY rvTtXINO.
A Yankee Trap.
Original.
Fzra Bowman's progenitors had al
ways been Kngllsh country gentlemen
an.i landed proprietors, therefore when
he got involved ill ft lawsuit with his
next door nolghlor and lost pretty
much everything he had he gathered
up the fragments and came to America
with a view to continuing the family
traditional life. He was impractical
and visionary, fancying that in this
land of large production he would
make a fortune and go back to Eng
land to live under his beloved British
flag. He had a daughter, llilma, twen
ty years old, whom lie wished to re
main single until this happy return,
when he hoped his altered fortunes
might enable him to marry her to a
younger son of some nobleman.
But llilma Bowman fell In love with
a young farmer, Mark Evans, who
owned the adjoining property, and her
love was returned. When he proposed
she told him frankly of her father's
plans for her. Mark proposed to marry
her despite the old man's opposition,
but Hilma was an English girl, and
marriage without her parent's consent
was with her entirely out of the
question.
Had Ezra Bowman known of the sit
uation he would have forbidden Mark
the house. As it was, he took quite n
fancy to the young man and made him
welcome whenever he cam to his
farm, and when Mark came it was os
tensibly to call on the old man, mak
ing it appear that the other members
of the family Mere n secondary consid
eration. Bowman was very fond of
i games, and Mark was the only person
: living near by that he could get to play
' with him. Chess and checkers were
' his favorites, and, since la Mark he
I found a worthy opponent, he was al
ways ready for a game with him,
j Now, whatever be the strong points
of the British people, they can never
cope with their American cousins In
shrewdness. Bowman was as stolid
as a stone meeting house; Evans was
a Yankee with all that name expresses.
Bowman would fight for an opinion
till every support had been knocked
from under it, then fight on with Just
as much obstinacy as if it had not
been disproved. One day Evans told
the old man that he was thinking of
selling his farm. It was a splendid
piece of property, and Bowman would
have been delighted to get it if he
could hare raised the money to buy it.
Nevertheless he asked Mark what
would be his price for it Mark re
plied that he had not made up his
mind to sell it, but if he could get
$28,000 for it he might let it go. Since
this was nearly $25,000 more money
than Bowman had the conversation
was dropped.
Soon after this Mark took the man
whose son-in-law he wished to be over
his farm, showing him the land, the
dwellings, the barns, the stock, the
farming tools, everything. They were
all In prime condition, and Bowman's
cupidity was excited. It troubled him
that he had no money with which to
buy such a fine property, and he con
fessed this to Its owner. Mark told
him that he would sell the property to
him for one-half of what he would sell
it to any one else. But as the half was
no more to be raised than the whole
this did not help matters.
One day when the two were playing
checkers Mark said:
"Mr. Bowman, I've made up my
mind to go west and shall sell my
farm. Now, since you want it I wish
you to have It. Make me an offer."
"I couldn't raise $500," said the old
man.
They finished the game, Maak beat
ing because his opponent was think
ing of the coveted property. Then
Mark leaned back in his chair and said:
"I'll tell you what I'll do, Mr. Bow
man, with you mind, with you, not
with any one else. I'll sell you my
farm on these terms. Let me see. The
farm is ISO acres. I will sell it to you
with everything on it on the following
terms: For the first ten acres you are
to pay me at the rate of 1 cent an acre,
the second ten acres at the rate of 2
centsan ncre, the third ten acres at the
rate of 4 cents, the fourth 8 cents, and
in this proportion to the end. But I
will sell 'all or none."
There was covetousness in the old
man's eye. He looked for some reason
why Mark wished to sell so cheap.
Surely he had been over the property
and had found everything In good con
dition. He ran up the amount In his
head til he had reached the eighth lot
of ten acres, which he found to cost
only $12.S0.
"Are you going to give me the farm?"
he asked.
"Noj I propose to sell it to you."
Bowman went on figuring.'
"I won't leave the offer open," said
Mark.
"Ion." said Bowman, ceasing to fig
ure, and, taking a ten dollar bill from
ids poeket. he gave it tp Mark to bind
the bargain. Mark without wasting
any time called for pen and paper and
wrote out-a bill of sale on the terms'
proposed. It was executed, and Bow
jman gaw a sigh of relief. He had
! feared there would be a slip. Then,
! taking a pencil, he figured up how
j mneh he was to pay. When he had fin
j Ishod he turned on the seller with a
I owl of rage. He had bought the
property for exactly $20,214.20.
It was easy enough for Mark Evans
to catch the pig headed Britisher in a
trap, but to induce him to give his
daughter in lieu of taking the farm
was another matter. Nevertheless
there was no other recourse, and when
the girl and.all the family tagged him
to acknowledge himself beaten he final
ly gave In. Evans released him from
his bargain en the wedding day.
NELLIE EDNA 0UHTX& i
Th Great Warrior Waa Fond of Per-
fume and Clean Linen.
It Is pleasant to learn If one has Na
poleon I. on the hero list that he had
very dainty habits in personal mat
ters; that he was fastidiously clean In
his person, according to an article In a
French contemporary, and poured eau
do cologne into the water ho washed
in, then sponged his head with per
fume and finally poured the remainder
of the contents of the flask over his
neck and shoulders. lie was also ex
travagantly fond of clean lineu and
during his campaigns had relays of It
sent to different places. Iu those days
It did not cost n farm to have starched
things laundered, for, in account with
a famous laundress in Taris, the em
peror's linen for one wash amouuted to
3SG pieces and cost only n trifle over
$20.
This strikes an American as very
reasonable, but his majesty never wore
any article but once, and, as he always
undressed himself without aid from
his valet, his garments were literally
cast to the four corners of the room.
Napoleon's bill for eau de cologne,
however, exceeded the washerwoman's
by a large majority. It is a relief to
learn that the Little Corporal was so
much a dude. Some of his predecessors
in the Tulleries were not blessed with
such excellent habits if history is to be
relied upon.
Su m nioiie.
In the Circuit Court of the Sfate cf
Oregon for Morrow County.
Cora Johnson, Plaintiff, vs. Thomse
J. Johnson, Defendant.
To Thomas J. Johnson, the above
named defendant :
In the name of the Stale of Oregon
you are hereby commanded to appear
in the above entitled ca6e on or befoie
Monday, the 12th day of November, A.
D, 1908, to make answer to the oomplaint
of plaintiff filed herein against you and
in case you fail so to appear the allega
tions of the complaint will be taken as
confessed against you, and the plaintiff
will apply to the Court tor the relief
prayed f r in the complaint, to-n it : for
a decree of said court dissolving the
bonds of matrimony existing between
plaintiff aud defendant, and for the res
toration of plaintiff's maiden name and
for such other and further relief as may
be just and equitable.
The time prescribed for the publica
tion cf the snmm jns is six weeks and
the date for the appearance of the de
fendant is on or before the 12th day of
"November, A. D. 1908.
That the summons ic published by
order of the Hon. C. C. Patterson, Judge
ot ttie uoonty (joint of Morrow County,
Oregon, which order was made on the
30th day of September, A. D. 1908.
The date of the first publication of
this summons is the 1st day of October.
A. D. 1908.
SAM E. VAN VACTOR.
Octl-Novl2 Attorney for Plaintiff.
Notice of Final Settlement.
Notice is hereby (riven. That the unders'giied
Administrator of trie tstate of r . ZMspell , de
ceased, will make Final Settlement of his ac
counts with said Estate as t uch Administrator.
at the next term of the County Court of Morrow
Connty, Uregon, to be nolden at Heppner, in
said County, on the 2nd day November, A. J)
IS A, at 10 o'clock in the forenoon of said day.
Objections to (aid final account should be hied
on or bifore said date.
J. L. VEAfiER.
Administrator Estate of E. F. dispell, de
ceased. Oct 1-21)
Notice to Creditors.
Notice is herebv riven that the unrinrKlimnt
has been appointed by the County Court of
Morrow county, uregon. administrator ot the
estate of Sarah A. Hughes, deceased, and has
qualified for said trust All persons havingany
claims aga'nst said estate are hereby notified to
present me same io me duly verified with
vouchers at the office of Ham K. Van. V actor at
Heppner, Or goti, w ithin b x months from the
date oi the nrsi publication ot tins notice.
MA IT H LtiHES.
Administrator of tte estate of Sarah A
Hughes, deceased.
Ham t. Van Vactor, attorney for the ndminis.
trator.
Dated and first publiHhed this first day of
ui-iouer, a. u. uct i-e)
Notice to Creditor.
Notice is hereby given that the undersigned
has been appointed by the County Court of
Morrow County, OregonT alminigtrator of the
estate of Isaac A halt, deceased, and has quail
tied for said trust. All persons having claims
against said estate are notified to present the
same to me duly verified wi h vouchers at the
office of Ham E. Van Vactor, at Heppner, Ore
gon, within six months from the date of the
first publication of this notice.
W. E. A HALT.
Administrator of the estate of Isaac Ahalt, de
ceased. Ham E Van Vactor, attorney for Adminis
trator.
Dated and first published this 1st dar of
October, A. D. luw. Oct l SW
otlcc.
In the D:srirt Court oi the United States foi
the District of Oregon.
In the matter of '1 hu WiFe Furuiinre Co (In
voluntary, Bankrupt.
No: ice is h: -reliy given that on the 'J day of
H'-pt'-mber, A. D. I'.i h. ' lie Wise Furniture Co
of Heppner, ieon, was duly abjudicated
l.JtlbrilT.t - atlrl tl u, tlm r.f m....ti... . .L..:
creditors will lip held at Rooms 2U-f) Fenton
nuiiMing. i onsiii.'i, wreijon, on me j:j day oi
October, l.-tw.atloa. in., at which time the
Miid creditor- n.nv att nd. 1 ro a their i lnln
appoint a trustie, tiaini e the bankrupt and
trannct f 1K b ot .er business as may proper!
Come baforu such meeting.
Dated Sept. 2.1, V.x .
HKKTK It G. MI KI'H V.
Referee iu linr.kr ptcy.
NOTICE FOR Pt HI.ICATION (Isolated Tract.
Public I.snd Hale
La Grande, Oregon. I-and OHIce, Sept. 2". 1 Of y .
Notice ii hereby givon that, as directed by
the Commissioner of the General Land Office,
nnder provisions of Act of Congress approved
June 27, I'.nrt. Public No. , w will otter at
public sale, to the highest bidder, at lu o'clock
a. m , on the I'Jth day of November, next, at this
ofli e, the follow ing tract of land, to-wit- NWVt
SW 8ec. 2. NKS SWJi See;!. T. 1 S . K. 27 .
W. M., ferial No ITS.'.
Any persons claiming adversely the above
described lands are advised to file their claims
or objections, on or before the day above desig
nated for (ale.
Octl-Nov5 F. C. IlKAMWrTI L. !irlster.
A. A. KOBLKIf, ICeceiver.
FOnYSKlDNEYCUHE
Makes KMmj and Bladder Right
Liberty Meat Market
Boycr & Wherry
Fresh and Salted Meats
Fish on Fridays
Highest market price
paid ror tat stock
HEPPNER. OliKQON
Robert Hart, Prop.
Ice. Cream
Ice Cream Soda
High (Jrade Cigars
Fresh Candies
'Nuts and Fruits
Lunch (ioods
Ice Cold Coca Cola
Orangeade
Uoot Beer
Imperial Hotel
Portland, Oregon
Modern six story,
fire proof building.
European Plan
Rates $1.00
and uip-
Tiiil Metschan, Manager.
Phil Metschan, Jr. Asst. Manage r.
GILLIAM
I The Palm
HARDWARE
Tools, Machinery,
Fencing,
in fact, anything
in our line.
Come and get
prices.
3 GILLIAM
nm
Cures Biliousness, Sick
Headache, Sour Stom
ach, Torpid Liver and
Chronic Constipation
Pleasant to take
North Beach
Invites
Invigorates
, Infatuates
Nature's lavieli linoy.1 endowed
North ltaarh with every attrac
tion as a j'lace of reft, with re
juvenation and recreation.
Nortli 15 'ach is a stretch of
Beautiful woodland dropping
gently into the "Pacific" and
skirted by 20 miles of smooth,
sandy beach delightful for bath
ing. Itl'Y a ticket over
The O. R. & N.
TAKING THE STEAMER
"T. J. Potter"
DOWN THE RIVER FROM PORTLAND
Mingle with the gay care-free
throng, whilst sweet nature re
builds worn tissues and renews
lite, energy and vitality.
The round trip season rate from
Heppner is $11.80
"Outings in Oregon," contains
the story of "Noith Beach," in
cluding hotel rates, etc. Ask J.
B. Iluddelston, local agent, Hepp
ner, Oregon,
OR WRITE
Wji. McMURRAY,
Gen'l Pass Agent, Portland, Or
NOTICE FOR PI 'BLH'ATIO.M.
Department oi the Interior.
U. S. Land Office at La Grande, Oregon,
Ang. 24, im
Notice Is hereby given that Lizzie I. Cox, of
Heppner. Oregon, who on August. 12, 190S made
Timber and Stone sworn statement, No. 0911, for
Section 2, Township 4, South Rauge 28.
East Willamette Meridian, has filed notice cf
intention to make Final Timber proof, to estab
lish claim to the land above described, before
J. P. Williams, U. 8. Commissioner, at Heppner
Oregon, on the 10th day of November, 1908.
Claimant names as witnesses:
Edgar Palmer, of Lexington, Oregon, Joseph
Rector, Frank Iirowu and George Moore all of
Heppner, Oregon.
Aug27-Oct89 F. C. ERAMWEIX, Register
Polk's Gazetteer A business Di
rectory of each city, town and vi lage
in Oregon and Washington, giving a de
scriptive sketch of each olace, together
with the location and shipping facul
ties and a classified directory of ea:h
business and profestion. R. L, Polk &
Co., Inc., Seattle.
& BISBEE
5
& BISBEE Q
PLflCE HOTEl
HEPPNER, OREGON
Leading Eastern Oregon HoUs
MODERN CONVENIENCES
ELECTRIC LIGHTED . . .
Under; New Management. Thoroughly
Renovated and Refiitted. Best
Metds in the City.
4 CO. Props.
omio
Laxative Fruit Syrup SS
For 8ulo Uy 81ooun Drug Companyi
pnoFEaaiouAL c.A.:sera
Sam E. VanVaclor.
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
Office on west end of Mar Btreet
Heppner Oregon,
C. E. WOODSON.
A TTOHNE 1'- 1 T-LA W
Office In Palace Hotel Heppner, Oregon
N. E. WINNARD, Al. S., M. D.
PHYSICIAN & SURGEON.
Upeoinl attention given to diseases of
the eye, ear, nose and throat.
Glasses properly fitted.
Offiob: The Fair Boildiog.
Hkppnkr, Oregon.
W. L. SMITH.
ABSTRACTER.
Only oomplete set of abstract books
in Morrow oounly.
, Hkppner,
Oregon .
DR. METZLER.
DBNTIST
Located in Odd Fellows building.
Rooms 5 and 6.
DR. Al. A. LEACH
DENTIST
Permanently located in Heppner. Oftloe
in the new Fair building. Gas ad
ministered. Clarence Al. White
LAWYER
Heppner, - - Oregon
Phelps & Notson
ATTORNEYS AT LAW.
Office in Odd Fellow Bldg Heppner, Oregon.
Frank B. Kistner
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON.
Office in Patterson & Son's drugstore
Kesideuce in Morrow building over
Patterson & Son's Drugstore.
NOTICE FOH PUBLICATION
Department of the Interior
D 8 Land Office at La Grande, Oregon,
October 5th, 1008.
Notice it hereby given that Leander Copple.
of Heppner, Oregon, who, on 8ept. 30th, 1U08,.
made Timber Appllra ion No. 0181, for W',4
8VH. NE8W!4 and NW 8E!4, Sectlju 4,
Township 4 8 , Range 28, K. W. M., has ti'ed
notice oi hia intention to make final Timber
proof, to establish his claim to the land above,
dCECribed, before J. P. Williams, U. 8. Cotnmin
sioner, at his office in Heppner, Oregon, on the.
21 dny of December, 11)08.
Claimant names att witnesses:
David McCullough, Samuel MrCullongh, Paul
Hlsler, and George Stevenson, all of Heppner,
Oregon.
Oct8-Dcofl F. C. BK AM WELL, Koglstor.
NOTICE FOR r-UHLICATIOS
Pcpartment t f the Inlorfor
U. S. Land Otlice at liKinicd.e Oregon
Septembers. 1908.
Notice is hereby given that James M. linger,
of Heppner, Oregon, who, on Hept. 3d, 1H08,
mudo Timber Apr. lieaticn No. OVMi for 84 NE!
8'i NH'H, section 22, T. i 8. R.2HE. VV. M. has
tiled notice of intention to make Final Timber
Proof to establish claim to the land above
described, befoie J. P. Williams, U. 8. Com
missioner, at his office iu Heppner, Oregon, on
the 24th day of November, l'JOfl.
Claimant names as witnesses:
Horace Yiakum. Hherman ;fc-liflw, Claude Her.
ren and 'Wlllard II, Herren, a'l of Heppner,
Oregon. ;
6pt 17-Nov 193 F. C. BRAMWELL, Heglster.
NOT ICE FOR KUBLICATION.
Department of the In'erlor,
United States Land Office
La Grande, Oregon, 8ept. 17. W(jSi
Notice Is hereby given, that, O. A. Minor, of
Heppner, County of Morrow, State of Oregon,
has filed in this office his application to select
under the provisions of the Act of Congress,,
approved June 4, 1887, the W;$ 8K4 Sec. 15, T,
4 S., T. 27 E., W. M., Serial No. 0-921.
Any and all persons claiming adversely the
lands described, or desiring to object because
ol the mineral character of the land, or for any
other reason to the dfHpotal to applicant, should
file their affidavits of protest in this orlico on or
before the 4th day of November, HUM.
F. C. BUAM WELL,
Hept 21-Oct 29 Kegistcr.
NOTICE FOR PUBLICATION.
United States Land Ofliico
The Dalles Oregon, August 2i3th. IttjS
Notice Is hereby given that State of Oregon
has filed in this office its application. Serial No
07':s to select undo the provision! of the Act of
Coii;ross of August It, 1HIS. and the Aet
supplementary thereto The SW! XWt of
Section 27, Township 1, South Kange 2i, Eaet
Willamntta Meridian.
Acyaml all persons claiming adversely tho
lands iloscrilxMl, or desiring to object because of
the mineral character of the land, or for any
other reason, to the disposal to nppllcant.
should file their affidavits of protest in thin
office, on or before the liith day of November
vw.
S-pt3 0ct8 C W. MOOUE. Register.
F0LEYSH0HEMAR
tops tbe cough and Hls lun4
Cleanses the system
thoroughly and clears
sallow complexions of
1