IIKENSIBE
MRS. MARY
Aatkr of "ton IVane," "Th( Enfllih OrpMnn
"Mcalowkrook," " Ictnpcit and
CHAPTER V. (Continued.)
Conducting him through the wide, mar
mled hall, she ushered him into the draw
dng room, where for a time he stood per
fectly bewildered. It was his first intro
duction to rosewood, velvet, and broca
helle, and it seemed to him as if he bin
suddenly been transported to fairyland
ille saw the silk chairs, slyly touching on
'to see if it did feel like the pored, peach
'blossom dress worn by his wife forty-two
;5e.irs ago that very spring. Then lie
tried one of them, examined the rare or
laments, and came near bowing to the
portrait of the first Mrs. Remington, so
natural and lifelike it looked staudiug out
from the canvas.
"This will last Maddy a week. I thank
you, ma'am. You have added some con
siderable to the happiness of a young
fir I, who wouldn't disgrace even such n
room as this," he said, as he passed into
the hall.
Mrs. Xoah received his thanks gracious
ly, and led him to the yard, where Sorrel
stood waiting for him.
Driving at a brisk trot through the
grounds. Sorrel was soon "but upon the
highway; and with spirits exhilarated by
thoughts of going home, he kept up the
trot until, turning a sudden corner, his
master saw the carriage from Aikenside
approaching at a rapid rate. The driver,
Paul, saw him, too, but scorning to give
half the road to such as Sorrel and the
square-boxed wagon, he kept steadily on,
while Grandpa Markham. determined to
speak with Guy, reined his horse a little
nearer, raising his hand in taken that
the negro should stop. As a natural
consequence, the wheels of the two vehi
cles became interfocked, and as the pow
erful grays were more than a match for
Sorrel, the front wheel of Grandpa Mark
ham's wagon was wrenched off, and the
old man precipitated to the ground, whica.
fortunately for him, vJ-s in that locality
covered with sand banks, so that he was
' only stunned for an instant, and thus
failed to hear the insolent negro's re
mark : "Served you right, old cove ; might
of turned out for gentlemen." Neither
did he see the sudden flashing of Guy
Remington's eye, as, leaping from his
carriage, he seized the astonished African
by the collar, and, hurling him from the
box demanded what he meant by serving
an old man so shameful a trick and then
insulting him.
All apology and regret the cringing
driver tried to make some excuse but Guy
6topped him short telling him to see how
much the wagon was damaged while he
ran to the old man who had recovered
from the first shock and was trying to
extricate himself from the folds of his
camlet cloak. Nearby was a blacksmith's
shop and thither Guy ordered his driver
to take the broken-down wagon with a
view to getting it repaired,
i "Tell him I want it done at once," he
said, authoritatively, as if he well knew
his name carried weight with it ; then,
turning to grandpa, he asked again if he
were hurt.
'"No, not specially jolted my old
bones some. Ypu are very kind, sir,"
grandpa replied, brushing the dust from
his pantaloons and then involuntarily
grasping Guy's arm for support, as his
weak knees began to tremble from the
effects of excitement and fright.
' 'That darky shall rue this job," Guy
said, savagely, as he gazed pityingly upon
the shaky old creature beside him. "I'll
discharge him to-morrow."
"No, young man. Don't be rash, ne'll
never do't again; and sprigs like him
think they've a right to make fun of old
codgers like me," was grandpa's meek
expostulation. "I was just up to Aiken-
eide to see Squire Guy, and "
"What did you say? You have been
o Aikenside to see me?"
"Yes, and I was sorry to miss you. I
I it makes me feel awkward to tell
you, but I wanted to borrow some money,
end I didn't know nobody as likely to
have It as you. That woman up to your
house said she knowed you wouldn't let
me have it, 'cause you hadn't it to spare.'
Mebby you haven't," and grandpa waited
anxiously for Guy's reply.
Now, Mrs. Noah had a singular influ
ence over her young master, who was in I
the habit of consulting ner witn regard to
Lis affairs, and nothing could have been
more unpropitious to the success of
grandpa's suit than the knowing she dis
approved. Beside this, Guy had only the
previous week lost a small amount loaned
under similar circumstances. Standing
6ilent for a moment, while he buried and
reburied his shining patent leather boots
in the hills of sand, he said at last :
"Candidly, sir, I don't believe I can ac
commodate you. I am about to make
repairs at Aikenside, and have partially
promised to loan money on good security
to a Mr. Silas Slocum, who, 'if things
work right,' as he expressed it, intends
building a mill on some property which
Las come, or is coming, into his hands."
"That's mine that's mine, my home
stead," gasped grandpa, turning white al
most as his hair blowing in the April
wind. "There's a stream of water on it,
and he says if he forecloses and gets it
he shall build a mill, and tear our old
bouse down."
Guy was in a dilemma. He had not
asked how much Mr. Markham wanted,
anu as the latter had not told him, he
naturally concluded it a much larger
sum than it really was, and did not care
just then to lend it.
"I'll tell you what I'll do," he said,
after a little. "I'll drop Slocum a note
to-night 6aying I've changed my mind,
and shall not let him have the momy.
Perhaps then he won't be so anxious to
foreclose, and will give you time to look
among your friends."
Guy laid a little emphasis on that last
word, and looking up quickly, grandpa
was about to say : "I'm not so much a
stranger as you think. I knew your fath
er well," but he checked Limself with the
thought: "No, that will be too much like
begging pay for a deed of mercy done
years ago." So Guy never suspected that
the old mn before him had once laid
his sire under a debt of gratitude. The
mora ha rflectd Um Um inclined ba was
BY
J. HOLMES
" "Hoir'cl u Ibe Mlll4k," "Ln Riven."
Jnosbiue," "Couilo Maude," etc.
to lend the money, and as grandpa was
too timid to urge his needs, the result
was that when at Inst the wheel was re
placed, and Sorrel again trotting on to
ward Devonshire, he drew after him a
sad, heavy heart.
Maddy's disappointment wag keener
than his own, and so after the Borrowful
words, "and I failed, too," he beut him
self to comfort the poor child, who, lean
ing her throbbing head against his shoul
der, sobbed bitterly, as In the soft spring
twilight they drove back to the low red
cottage where grandma waited for them.
CHAPTER VI.
It was Farmer Green's new buggy and
Farmer Green's tny colt which, three
days later than this, stopped before Dr.
Ilolbrook's office. Not the square-boxed
wagon, with old Sorrel attached ; the
former was standing quietly in the chip-
yard behind the low red house, while the
atter, with his nose over the barnyard
fence, neighed occasionally, as if he miss
ed the little hands which had daily fed
him the oatmeal he liked so much, and
which now lay hot and parched and help
less upon the white counterpane Grand
ma Markham had spun and woven her
self. Maddy might have been just as
sick as she was if the examination had
never occurred, but it was natural for
those who loved her to impute it all to
the effects of excitement and cruel disap
pointment, so there was something like in
dignation mingling with the sorrow gnaw
ing at the hearts of the old couple as
they watched by their fever-stricken darl
ing. Farmer Green, too, shared the feel
ing, and numerous at first were his men
tal animadversions against that "prig of
a Holbrook." But when Maddy grew so
bad as not to know him or his wife, he
laid aside his prejudices and suggested to
Grandpa Markham that Dr. Holbrook be
sent for.
"He's great on fevers," he said, "and is
good on curin' sick folks," so, though he
would have preferred someone else should
have been called, confidence in the young
doctor's skill won the day, and grandpa
consented.
This, then, was the errand of Farmer
Green, and with his usual Wuntness he
said to the recreant doctor, who chanced
to be at home :
"Wall, you nigh about killed our little
Madge t'other day, when you refused the
stiffcut, and now we want you to cure
her."
The doctor looked up in surprise, but
Farmer Green soon explained his mean-
making out a most aggravated case,
and representing Maddy as wild with de
lirium.
Maddy's case lost nothing by Mr.
Green's account, and by the time the doc
tor's horse was ready, and he on his way
to the cottage, he had arrived at the con
clusion that of all the villainous men out-
ide the walls of the State's prison, lie
was the most villainous, and Guy Rem
ington next.
What a cozy little chamber it was
where Maddy lay, just such a room as a
irl like her might be supposed to occu
py, and the bachelor doctor felt like
treading upon forbidden ground as he en
tered the room so rife with girlish hab
its, from the fairy slippers hung on a
peg, to the fanciful little workbox made
of cones and acorns. Maddy was asleep,
nd sitting down beside her he asked that
the shawl which had been pinned across
the window might be removed so that he
could see her, and thus judge better of
her condition.
"Feel her pulse, doctor ; they are fast
er 'most than you can count," Grandma
Markham whispered ; and thus entreated,
the doctor took the soft hand in his own,
its touch sending through his frame a
thrill such as the touch of no other hand
had ever sent.
Somehow the act reassured him. All
fear of Maddy vanished, leaving behind
only an intense desire to help, if possi
ble, the young girl whose fingers seemed
to cling around his own as he felt for
and found the rapid pulse.
"If she would awaken," he said, laying
the hand softly down and placing " his
other upon, her forehead, where the great
sweat-drops lay. Guy was a fool and
was a brute," the doctor muttered, as
he folded up the bits of paper whose con
tents he hoped might do much toward
saving Maddy's life.
When next morning the doctor came,
there was a look of deep anxiety upon
his face as he watched the alarming
symptoms of his delirious patient, who
talked incessantly, not of the examination
now, but of the mortgage and the fore
closure, begging the doctor to see that the
house was not sold, to tell them she was
earning thirty-six dollars by teaching
school, that Beauty -would be sold to save
their dear old home. All this was strange
at first to the doctor, but the rather vol
uble Mrs. Green, who had come to Grand
ma Markham's, relief, enlightened him,
dwelling with a kind of malicious pleas
ure upon the fact that Maddy's earnings
had she been permitted to get a "stiffi
cut," were to be appropriated toward pay
ing the debt.
If the doctor had hated himself the pre
vious day when he rode from the red cot
tage gate, he bated himself doubly now
as he went dashing down the road, de
termined to resign his office of school in
spector that very day. And he did.
Summoning around him those who had
been most active in electing him, he re
fused to officiate again, assuring them
that If any more candidates came he
should either turn them from his door or
give them a certificate without asking a
question.
"Put anybody you like in my place,"
he said ; "anybody but Guy Remington."
There was no probability of this, as
Guy lived in another town, and could
not have officiated had he wished. But
the doctor was too much excited to rea
son upon anything nave Madeline Clyde's
case. That he perfectly understood ; and
during the next few weeks his other pa
tients waited many times In vain for his
coming, while he sat by Maddy's aide
watching every change, whether for the
worse or better. Even Agnes Iteming
ton was totally neglected; mid so one
day she sent Guy down to Devonshire to
say that as Jessie seemed more tbau usu
ally delicate, she wished the doctor to
take her under his charge and visit her
at least once a week. The doctor was
not at home, but Tom said he expected
him every moment. So seatiug himself
in the armchair, Guy waited uutil ho
came.
"Well, Hal," he began, jocosely, but
the joking words he would have uttered
next died on his lips as he noticed the
strange look of excitement and aniiety
on the doctor's face. "What is It?" he
asked. "Are all your patients dead?"
"Guy," and the doctor camo closely to
him, whisperiug huskily, "you and I are
murderers in the first degree. Yes; aud
both deserve to be hung. Do you remem
ber that .Madeline Clyde whom you in
suited with your logic aud Latin verba?
She'd set her heart oil that certificate.
She wanted the money, not for new gowns
and fooleries, mind, but to help her old
grandfather pay his debts. His place is
mortgaged. I don't understand It; but
he asked some old hunks to lend him the
money, and the miserly rascal, whoever
he was, refused. 1 wish I had it. I'd
give it to him out and out. But that's
nothing to do with the girl Maddy, they
call her. The disappointment killed her,
and she is dying and keeps talking of
that confounded examination. I tell you,
Guy, my inward parts get terribly mixed
up when I hear her talk, and my heart
thumps like a trip-hammer. That's the
reason I have not been up to Aikenside.
I wouldn't leave Maddy so long as there
was hope. I did not tell them this morn
ing. I couldn't make that poor couple
feel worse than they are feeling; but
when I looked at her tossing from side
to side and picking at the bedclothes, I
knew it would soon be over that when I
saw her again the poor little arms would
be still enough and the bright eyes shut
forever. Guy, I couldn't see her die
I don't like to see anybody die, but her,
Maddy, of all others and so I came
away. If you stay long enough, you'll
hear the bell toll, I reckon. There ia
none at Honedale church, which they at
tend. They are Episcopalians, you see,
and so they'll come up here aybe. I
hope I shall be deafer than an adder."
Here the doctor stopped, wholly out of
breath, while Guy for a moment sat with
out speaking a single word. , Jessie, in
his hearing, had told her mother what
the sick girl in the doctor's office had
said about being poor and wanting the
money for grandpa, while Mrs. Noah had
given him a rather exaggerated account
of Mr. Markham's visit; but he had not
associated the two together until now,
when he saw the whole, and almost as
much as the doctor himself regretted the
part he had had in Maddy's illness and
her grandfather's distress.
"Doc," he said, laying his hand on the
doctor's arm, "I am that old hunks, the
miserly rascal who refused the money.
I met the old man going home that day,
and he asked me for help. You say tha
place must be sold. It never shall, never.
I'll see to that, and you must save the
girl."
"I can't, Guy. I've done all I can,
and now, if she lives, it will be wholly
owing to the prayers of that old saint of
a grandfather says for her. I never
thought much of these things until I
heard him pray ; not that she should live
anyway, but that, if it were right, Maddy
might not die. Guy, there's something
in such a prayer as that. It's more pow
erful than all my medicine swallowed at
one grand gulp."
Guy didn't know very much about
praying then, and so he did not respond,
but he thought of Lucy Atherstone, whose
life was one hymn of prayer and praise,
and he wished she could know of Maddy,
and join her petitions with those of the
grandfather. Staging suddenly from his
chair, he exclaimed, "I am gong down
there. It will look queerly, too, to- go
alone. Ah, I have it! I'll drive back to
Aikenside for Jessie, who has talked so
much of the girl that her lady mother,
forgetting that she was once a teacher, la
disgusted."
(To be continued.)
Salton Sea 'ot a Boon.
One of the weather bureau experts
In AVashiugton, Professor Alfred J.
Henry, has given a black eye to the
widely prevalent belief that evapora
tion from the Saltou sea accounts for
the remarkably heavy rainfall in Ari
zona during the greater part of the last
two years, says the New York Trib
une. He calls attention to the fact that
the downpour really began about three
months before there was any serious
inundation of southern California from
the Colorado and then says that the
excess above the normal preHpitatloa
throughout the territory in 1005 repre
sents a volume of water twelve times
as groat as that which accumulated in
the Salton basin.
Clever Scheme.
"My new play is sure to make a hit,"
said the popular actress. "It gives me
an opiortunity to display twenty new
gowns."
"My!" exclaimed her friend. "How
many acts?"
"Only four, but In one of them the
scene is at the dressmaker's." Catholic
Standard and Times.
What He Feared.
"Miss Passay asked Charlie Dunno If
I bad any engagement Thursday night
And Charlie, without thinking, said he
was sure I hadn't any."
"What do you fear?"
"I feel almost certain she means to
Invite me to one of those card parties
where they play alleged bridge,"
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Had Told the Troth.
"I thought you said llargous had a
big family?"
"He- has."
"Why, he told me that be bad only
one child a daughter."
"Yes. She weighs about 225 pounds,
and bis wife could fill a Job as fat lady
In almost any museum." Chicago Reo
ord Herald.
New York City has 3,115 acres of
land In cemeteries enough to bury 1
the dead of the city for ISO yean,
Ilnndr Home-Maile Tool.
All growers of blackberries aud rasp
berries know that one of the most dls
agreeable Jot of the sen son Is the cut
ting out of the old canes on the plants
of these fields. Tb easiest way of do
ing this work Is to use a sharp tool of
some kind so arranged that the operat
or may stand upright and work. The
tool illustrated may be readily made by
any hnndy ninn, and will do the work
required quite as effectually as a more
expensive tool.
Take the handle from a worn-out
shovel or fork and have the black
smith attach to It the end of an old
scythe blade or, If one lias no blade of
this kind, the blacksmith can fashion
one from old scraps that he may have
at small expense. Have this blade fas
TOOL FOB BEKKT OSOWEIL
tenod to the handle In the manner
shown In the cut, and when working
among the canes of the berry bushes
use It in the way illustrated.
This tool will be found extremely
handy for this sort of pruning any
where on the farm. It will work quite
well for cutting out suckers in the or
chard as In the berry row. If the canes
are quite tall a straight handle may be
attached to the blade so that one may
have it of any desired length. Such a
tool costs but little, and if one has a
considerable area In berry plants It
rill pay to have several tools made.
Beans.
"Beans" is the title of a recent farm
ers bulletin, by Professor Corbett, the
well-known horticulturist of the United
States Department of Agriculture.
Beans belong to one of the most Impor
tant families of economic plants with
which man has to deal that of le
gumes. The bean furnishes food for
both man and and beast, and at the
same time increases the fertility of
the soil. It Is, therefore, an Impor
tant crop, both In farm rotation and
In market garden work. The new bul
letin treats fairly of its cultivation,
care and use.
Professor Wlaneko, of Purdue Expe
riment Station, has Just issued an In
teresting bulletin on soy beans, cow
peas and other forage crops. The cul
ture of cow peas and soy beans Is be
coming Important with many farmers,
as they make good forage crops and at
the same time add fertility to the soil.
They belong to the legumes, and the
cost of producing Is about the same as
for corn, while their- food value com
pares very favorably with corn. Sev
eral other classes of forage plants are
described In the bulletin.
To Paatenrlse Milk.
Pasteurizing milk Is a very simple
process, the operator to be careful of
the temperature, however, which is
very Important When milk Is boiled
the natural flavor Is destroyed, and
some persons object to it. Milk Is also
Injured to a certain extent by boiling.
To Pastuerlze milk, procure long
necked bottle, which must be scrupu
lously rlean; pour In the milk and plug
the tops with cotton wool, which ex
cludes all germs. Place the bottles In
a deep pan or other vessel and heat to
a temperature of 158 degrees, using a
thermometer. If the temperature reach
es 100 degrees the milk will have the
odor of being boiled. Keep the milk
heated for half an hour. The cot
ton stoppers need not be removed un
til the milk is desired for use. The
bottles containing the milk may lo
placed In a refrigerator or some cool
receptacle. Milk so prepared can be
kept for two or three days. To sterilize
milk It must be boiled, hence Pasteu
rization Is a different process.
Ponltrjr.
A careful observer of poultry needs
no better sign of Its condition than to
watch the comb. A bright red comb
shows that the hen or male Is healthy
and vigorous, and If a hen, she will
probably be a good layer. After the
egg supply has failed the comb will
generally lose Its color. In cold weath
er fowls with large combs must have
extra warm quarters, as they are very
easily frozen. It Is frozen combs more
often than anything else that makes
Leghorns and Mlnorcas poor winter
layers. As their names Imply, they are
natives of warm climates, as. Indeed,
most fowls are. They very rarely get
Into as warm quarters In winter as
they could find anywhere In the coun
tries where they had their original
Home.
1 Bee Keeping.
A cellar Is a good place to keep bees.
bat. If sheltered from the winds and
exposed to the sun, a strong colon will
do well out of doors.
Shredded Stover.
For winter feeding of stock animals
this ninkea one of the finest feeds on
the farm. The modern husking and
shredding machinery does excellent
work, nnd Its mau-eating proclivities
have been largely eliminated. An or
dinary threshing machine can be made
to do good shredding, but the grain Is
not left In the best condition. The
greatest drawback In the use of both
busker and thresher Is that they re
quire a large force of men and teams,
hence the work Is quite expensive.
Perhaps the cheapest corn husking Is
done with the little old husking peg.
But It Is almost Impossible to feed long
stover without considerable waste, and
the refuse stalks are a nuisance when
It comes to handling the manure. These
difficulties may be overcome by running
the handhusked stover through a com
mon cutter and shredder. This work
can trsually be done without employing
much. If any outside help. In case ev
erything Is hired, the cost of the work,
added to that of hand-husklng and put
ting of the corn and stover In crib and
mow or stack may equal or even exceed
the expense of machine husking and
shredding. This is a point for each to
decide from his own standpoint Agri
cultural Epltomist
Composition of Crop.
A bulletin of the Minnesota Experv
ment Station discusses the composition
and characteristics of the more common
farm crops, as alfalfa, clover, peas,
rape, corn fodder, timothy, millet, etc.
Is connection with the composition
of some of the crops the protein con
tent of the seed la -considered. In the
case of clover, alfalfa, peas, beans and
rape two distinct types of seed are
shown to recur, one of high and the
other of low protein content, and the
relationship of the physical character
itle of the seeds to the chemical coin-
position Is noted. The larger protein
content of the seed Is considered as a
possible factor In the production of for
age crops of high nutritive value. The
quality of the forage In live-stock feed
lng Is of great importance, because by
the use of more concentrated nitroge
nous forage rations can be prepared
requiring smaller amounts of grains
and milled products. The result is a
material financial saving of stock.
Hovr to Save Steps.
In spite of the extensive development
and use of corn harvesting machinery
the fact remains that much corn is
still cut by hand. Therefore the ac
companying ske'tch recently sent to the
New England Homes ted by a reader
will prove of Interest
He has figured out that If the plan
outlined is followed a sixty-four hill
shock, or stook, of corn can be cut at
a minimum number of steps. The cir
cle In. the center represent the four
hills tied together or between which
the shock Is built. After the founda
tion for the shock is ready the man
goes to No. 1 and cuts in the direction
f-h r J7-....;
! I ( i
ry--- -0 .... tp if
: i i ;
- - -ru fj) fa iy
', O O ---
P it- V o O 0 h.-to
0 0 "-, --- -i
t m it- it g . -.... rs
! ' ! '
tr---V r Mo Q .. ft...7
CUTTING A SHOCK OF OOB"T.
of the numbers until he reaches No. 8.
After placing his armful In the shock
he begins at No. 9 and cuts to No. 10
again depositing his load and continu
ing the operation In the way the hills
are numbered until the shock Is com
pleted. It will be noted that In addi
tion to saving steps this plan brings
the cutter near the shock with his heav
iest load, or when his arm la full of
corn.
Fruit from Seed.
It Is doubtful If there Is any kind ot
fruit that will come strictly true to va
riety when grown from seed, as there
Is a tendency to deviate from the orig
inal. One may secure something supe
rior or the fruit may revert bnck to
some undesirable kind. It Is a slow
and uncertain process. Chestnuts may
be grafted when 1 year old. The nuts
are usually placed In the ground In
rows, 0 Inches deep, early In the Rprlng
or Inte In the fall, hilling over them If
In the fall, and uncovering In the
spring. They are very unreliable In
germinating nnd prefer a sandy loam.
The European varieties are larger than
the native. The native chestnuts vary
greatly, no two trees producing nuts
exactly alike In size, flavor, etc. The
foreign varieties are grafted on the
American stocks. Trees grown from
American nuts can not be depended
upon for quality of product
A Peaceful Bee.
Beehives on every front porch, giv
ing each family a supply of delicious
honey close at hand, while at the same
time the bees will Inculcate their les
son of Industry, are a possibility, for
the Department of Agriculture has snc
ceeded In Importing from abroad what
may be termed a peaceful bee, which
finds our fickle climate to Its liking.
The newcomer Is known as the Cau
casian bee. The name Is derived from
Its native locality, and is emphasized
by habits of life which rank It distinct
ly as the white man's bee. It is civil
ized, dignified and high-toned. It
rushes with reluctance into anything
that smacks of warfare, having. In
place of the belligerent Instincts of
others of Its class, a predisposition to
arbitration.
"His eyes seemed glued to my every
movement" "Yes? That's n sign that
he's stuck on you."
"Are you married r "Yep." "Are
you happy?" "Didn't I Just tell you I
was married?" Houston Post
"Papa, Is a frog fish or an animal?'
"Yea! Now run out and play and give
me a chance to read my paper."
"I was one of those saved In that
terrible wreck." "How did you es
cape?" "I changed my mind at the
last minute and took another train."
"Yes; it was hard luck. He fell In
love with her at first sight, bought a
fifty-trip ticket and was refused on his
second visit" Browning's Magazine.
Little Willie What is Joy, pa? Pa
Joy, my son, Is the peculiar feeling
experienced by the man who counts his
money and finds more than he expect
ed. Chicago News.
Mother What's the matter, Joseph
ine? Josephine Lolo hurt me. Mother
How? Josephine I went to hit him
on the head and he dodged me and I
banged my hand against the wall.
"Did you get home before the storm
broke last night?" asked the first club
man. "Of course," replied the other.
"The storm never breaks at my house
until I get home." Philadelphia Press.
Dicky Your dad always goes to
sleep In church. Georgey My dad has
a right to go to sleep in church, If he
waats to. He gives more to the preach
er than any other man In the congre
gation. Examiner (to medical student)
Now let us take appendicitis. On what
grounds should you decide that an Im
mediate operation was necessary. Med
ical Student On the financial condi
tion of the patient
Towne I understood you to call
Mrs. Iiownder a widow, but her hus
band Is living. Browne Oh, yes ; she's
what you might call a "club widow;"
she's a woman who has a late hus
band. Philadelphia Press.
Inquisitive Acquaintance Have you
ever thought what you would do If
your gas bag should collapse while you
were half a mile or more up In tlio
air? Daring Aeronaut Often, I
should start at once for terra flrma by
the shortest possible route.
"From the grammatical standpoint,"
said the fair maid with the lofty fore
head, "which do you consider correct,
'I had rather go home or 'I would
rather go home? Neither," prompt
ly responded the young man. "I'd much
rather stay here." Answers.
"So you quit smoking because she
asked you to?" said the youth with the
clamshell cap. "Yes," answered the
lad with the turned up trousers." "And
then?" "Then she went "Walking with
a man who smoked a pipe, because she
said It kept away mosquitoes." Wash
ington Star.
A prominent society women told her
butler to tell all visitors that she was
not at home. At night, when enumer
ating the persons who had called dur
ing the day, he mentioned the lady's
sister, when his mistress exclaimed:
"I told you, man, that I was always at
home for my sister! You ought to have
shown her in." Next day the lady
went out to make a few calls and
during her absence her sister came to
the house. "Is your mistress at home?
she asked the butler. "Yes, madam.
was the reply. The lady looked every
where for her sister. She said to tho
butler: "My sister must have gone out,
for I cannot find her." "Yes, madam,
she has gone out, but she told me last -night
that she was always at home to
you." Philadelphia Itecord.
IlroiiKBt to Term.
In the Drayton household It Is said
that the father of the family has a
way of presenting alternatives to his
children that never fails to bring them
Into line.
"I wish you would speak to Bobby," '
said Mrs. Drayton one night "I've told
him to take his medicine and then jump
Into bed, and he won't do It. He Just
hops round, and says he doesn't want to
take the medicine and he doesn't want
to go to ted !"
Mr. Drayton stopped to the door of
Bobby's room, and stood there, tall,
grace and Impressive.
"Bobby," he said, firmly, "If you
don't take your ni(dielne at once and
then Jump into lod, you will be put
to bed, do you hear me, put to led,
without having your medicine at all!"
Upon which Bobby, alarmed and con-,
fused, swallowed his alloted portion and
meekly retired for the night
Why SafeJjr 3Iatehe Strike on Glaaa.
There are two reasons why ordinary
safety matches can be struck oh.
smooth glass. The head of the safety
match Is composed of a mixture of
sulphide of antimony, chlorate of pot
assium and powdered glass. A com
paratively small Increase of tempera
ture will cause this to Ignite. Now,
r'ass Is a bad conductor of heat, and
the rapid passage of the substance
over It raises the temperature of that
suostance sufficiently for that purpose.
When the glass Is rough the friction
crumbles away the loosely combined
mixture before the temperature rises
to the point of Ignition; hence, given
the composition of the match head, Ibe
two circumstances which answer the
question are the comparative smooth
ness of the glass and Us Imperfect con
ductivity of heat
Some men would rather take a whip,
ping than take a dare.
v