JdOilAKCHS A6 PATIENTS.
rvln Doctor Depict Traits of
Horml l'atron William Llkca to
Display Llttlo Lourninir.
A distinguished Servian doctor who
has had much experience with rnvnl
patients give tome of his impressions
ol crownea neaas wnen sutlering.
Emperor William, he says, is docli
but has a mania for discussing with his
doctors and likes to parade all the med
ical knowledge he has gained through
well-knowr. medical books.
King Edward VII. is the gentlest pa
tient Imaginable. He obeys without mak
ing the slightest observation.
The que en of Holland is a very unruly
sick person. She does not like to have a
physician touch her, even to feel her
pulse.
The czar and the sultan are very dif
ficult patients. The former is highly
Impressionable and has an instinctive
fear of the most inoffensive remedy.
The latter mistrusts his doctor and Is
always afraid of being poisoned. He
wants every medicine prescribed ana
lyzed by his special chemist before it i,s
administered.
"World's I.ongeat Canal.
The longest r :.nal in the world is
that which extends from the frontier
of China to St. Petersburg, 4,472
miles. In India there are 14,000 miles
of canal, irrigating 8,000,000 acres of
land.
GAVE THE FISH A JAG.
This Is One Way of lielng Entertaining
In California.
"Did you ever see drunken fish?" in
quired a Sonoma county wine grower.
No one would confess that he had
Keen intoxicated fish, and the silence in
dicated a predisposition to incredulity,
nays a writer in the San Francisco Post.
"I suppose you are going to tell us
about a drunken catfish staggering
dow n through the orchard and catch
ing a bird?" suggested one.
"Do you think I am a liar?" demand
ed the farmer, indignantly, but he was
left in ignorance as to the belief of his
hearers. "My winery is right on the
lank of a little creek. This time of the
year the water stands in pools and
very pool is full of trout, suckers and
pike. All of the waste from the winery
is thrown into the creek, and that is
enough to discolor the water, but the
other day a big vat of sour claret burst
and nearly all of it ran down into the
hole of water just below the winery.
In half an hour the pool was crowded
with fish floating belly up. I thought
they were dead, and pulled a big pike
cut, lint he wiggled and flopped around
just like an old drunk trying to get up
without' anything to hold on to. One
by one they disappeared as they so
bered up, and when the water cleared
two days afterward there wasn't a dead
fish in the pool. They had just been
jagged."
THE GOOD SAMARITAN IN CHINA
He Would Hare Been Likely to Get Him
self Into Trouble.
One dark evening I was returning
home from a call on one of our Eng
lish neighbors in Taiyuenfu, writes
Prof. C. M. Cady in Century. When not
far from our compound the road
crossed an open space of several acres
in extent. As I was finding my way
along by the dim light of a Chinese
Jantern, I nearly stumbled over the
7.ody of a nvMi who had fallen by tho
way. My first impulse was to takej
bold of the person and ascertain if
help was needed; but for some reason
J did not, but hurried home to get aid.
Mr. X was still with us, and on hearing
my statement said:
"Yes, I know; the man is dead, and
It is fortunate that you did not attempt
to touch the body. Should we now
try to remove it, or even go to it, we
should no doubt be seen, and at once
suspicion would attach itself to us, and
none could tell the consequences. We
might cause a riot before morning."
It should be said that this suspicion
would not have been because we were
foreigners, for a native under sim
ilar circumstances would likewise have
run the risk of being charged with
the murder. The Good Samaritan
would have fared hardly in China
or most likely would have been sus
pected of doing the kind deed for some
ultimate gain while the priest and the
Lev it would have leen accounted not
hard-hearted, but prudent.
In London Mattoa Pie.
Dr. Klein, one of the expert of thl
local government bonrd. has been in
vestigating pies on behalf of the de
partment. "From an ordinary ham
and beef shop, on two different oc
casions," he says in the report jiut
presented to parliament, "two eight
penny pies and twotupenny pies were
bought and analyzed. None contained
bacillus coli, or other coli-like mi
crobes, and none contained the
spores of any pathogenic anaerobe.
Hut all contained the spores of anae
robic nonpathogenic bacillus batyri
cus. Also all contained the spores of
bacillus niesenterious vulpatu, and
staphylococcus albus of at least two
different kinds; both of them non
liquefying and nonpathogenic." Anc
this is not the worst, for "there wai
isolated from one of the tupennj
pies a bacillus which, in morphologi
cal respects resembled the xerosis oi
pseudodiptheria bacillu." Loud or.
Chronicle.
A CURIOUS ANIMAL.
Tht news of both hemisphere in Th
'Weekly Oregonlan.
The Sea Caenuiber Can Part With
and Ileplace Its Organs.
Among the curious animals which In
habit the sea we may take the holo
thuria, or sea cucumber, so culled from
Its resemblance to the cucumber. When
this animal is attacked by an enemy It
does not stand up and fight, but by a
sudden movement It ejects its teeth,
stomach, digestive apparatus and near
ly all Its intestines and then shrivels
its body up to almost nothing. When,
however, the danger is past, the ani
nial commences to replace tho organs
which It has voluntarily parted with,
and in a short time the animal is as
perfect as ever It was.
Dr. Johnstone kept one in water for
a long time, and one day he forgot to
change the water. The creature in
consequence ejected its intestines and
shriveled up, but when the water was
changed all Its organs were repro
duced. Although the animal is not
eaten In Europe, It Is a favorite with
the Chinese, and the fishing forms an
important part of the industry of the
east. Thousands of junks are annually
used In fishing for trepang, as the ani
mals are called. London Tit-Bits.
THE SOCIAL CLIMBERS.
Ever DUnatlMfled Even When They
Beach the Pinnacle.
In New York the dissatisfied man or
woman who has achieved the full
round of society and discovered Its ut
ter vanity, If not Indeed worse, may
imagine if not familiar with London
and Paris that in those cities exists a
superior class of men and women, more
Intellectual and less brutal than those
of whom he knows. The Chicagoan
unfamiliar with New York hopes to
discover in Manhattan something dif
ferent from that which is to be found
in the western city. The resident of
Omaha perhaps thinks that If she could
attain Chicago she would find her Ideal
society. In Hastings, Neb., doubtless
there are very many who think It
would be a heaven to attain social
prominence In Omaha. And out on the
prairie are scattered hamlets In which
many socially ambitious young girls
and mothers look toward Hastings as
a social Mecca. It all reminds one of
the translation of Omar's lines: "Till
on the stilly top of heaven's stair clear
eyed I looked and laughed and climb
ed no more." John Brisben Walker in
Cosmopolitan.
Won Ills Bet.
A hotel proprietor iu Baltimore tells
an amusing story, in which the main
figure is an old gentleman well known
to the waiters in the hotels of the Mon
umental City for his aversion to the
tipping system.
One evening the old gentleman, hav
ing finished his dinner, was preparing
to leave the hotel when the darky who
had served him bowed and said,
"Thrfnk you very much, sah."
"What the deuce are you thanking
me for?" angrily demanded the old fel
low. "I haven't given you anything.-
"Dat's jest It, boss," responded the
waiter. "I bet No. 10 50 cents dat you
wouldn't tip me." Harper's Weekly.
Rembrandt and Mnrlllo.
Through the eighteenth century
Dutch painters, like those of other
counbios, turned to Italy for inspira
tion. Rembrandt's marvels of light
were forgotten or condemned by ig
norant critics, his portraits, that search
Into the souls of his subjects, despised
for their "laborious, Ignorant diligence."
lie was neglected, while Murlllo con
tinued to be abundantly admired. Now,
however, Murlllo Is esteemed less high
ly, and Hembrandt has been restored to
his place among the giants. St. Nicho
las. Falllna- Hatr.
Hair nearly always begins to fall
in one of two places at the temples
and where It is parted. If a new part
ing be given, the old one will be af
forded a chance of recovering itself,
provided, of course, that proper meas
ures be employed. The chief reason
for hair falling out where it is parted
seems to be the strain that is brought
to bear by comb and brush.
WANTED- -Ladies and Gentlemen
in this and adjoining tenitories, to
represent and advertiwe the Wholesale
and Educational Department of an old
established house of solid financial
standing. Salary if;, 50 per day with
Expenses advanced each Monday by
check direct from headquarters. Horse
and bujjgv lurnislied when necessary;
position permanent. Address, Blew
Bros. & Co., Dept. 4, Monon Bldtf.,
Chicago, 111.
LOCAL MARKETS.
Ilcppncr Quotation on Staple
Itotifflit and Sold Here.
Avoid Worry.
No large, generous soul was ever a
worrier. Calmness, serenity, poise and
power to move through life rhythmical
ly, without Jar or fret, are characteris
tic of greatness and true nobility.
Success Magazine.
TI)e
Belvedere
FINEST WINES,
LIQUORS & CIGARS
One hundred empty barrels for
pale. Five hundred barrels of ex
tra line cider vinegar on tap. . . .
RETAIL GROCERY PRICKS,
COFFEE Mocha and Java, best 50c
per pound ; next grade, 45c per pound;
package coffee, Lion and Arbuckle, 20c
lb; Colundies coffee, 6 packages for $1.
RICE Best head rice 10c per pound;
next grade 6)4 cents per pound.
SUGAR Cane trranulated, best $6 85
per sack ; do 13 pounds $1 .
SALT Coarse 75c per 100; $15.00
ton.
FLOUR $4 65$ 00 per barrel.
BACON 1520; per pound.
HAMS 16lSc per pound.
COAL OIL $1 45$1 75 for 5 gal
Ions; $3 25 per case.
VEGETABLES.
POTATOES lc p r ponnd.
CABBAGE 4u per pound.
ONIONS 3c per pound.
FRUITS.
APPLES Green 2c per pound.
BANANAS 40c per dozen.
LEMONS 30c per dozen.
ORANGE 40c 00c per dozen.
LIVESTOCK AND POULTRY.
Prices paid bv dea'er to the producer.
CHICKENS $3 50$4 00 per dozen.
BUTTER ranch, 50 and 60o per roll.
EGGS 25c per doz.
BEEF CATTLE, ETC.
COWS $2 5002 00 per hundred.
S1EKRS Jf3 502 75 per hundred.
VEAL Dressed, Go per pound.
SHEEP $3 50$4 00.
HOGS Live, 5,'.ca5c: dressed. 6c
7c per pound.
Clay Tinea In Grave.
A very curious old custom is asso
ciated with interments In the ceme
tery of Labruck, Connemnra, Ireland.
A box of pipes short clays Is brought
with the coffin, and a pipe with tobacco
Is served out to each mourner. The
pipes are smoked in silence after the
earth hns been filled In and a mound
of stones raised above the grass, the
ashes are solemnly knocked out on the
top and the pipes broken or left behind
The origin of this custom is unknown,
but it is thought to bo emblematic ot
"ashes to ashes, dust to dust." Empty
black bottles are also to be founOVseat
tered about the site.
Cleans? your system ofj all imparities
this month. Now is the time to take
Hollister's Rocky Mountain Tea. It
will keep you well all summer. 35
cenB, Tea or Tablets. W. P. McMillan,
LxingtoD, Or.
Bronchitis.
For bronchitis cut up two or three
large raw onions, minee them very fine,
place in muslin and lay this cold
onion poultice on the chest and throat.
Cover with a folded towel and band
age tightly. This reads very simply,
but it is only an easy way of apply
ing a thoroughly scientific remedy, for
the active agent In the onion is a vola
tile oil which has a powerful effect on
the bronchial tubes, the nerve centers
and the s"
WTby Buffer with spring tireinefB,
mean, cross feeling, to strength, no
appetite? Hollister's Rooky Mountain
Tea will make you well and keep yon
well. 35 cents. Tea or Tablets. W. P.
MoMillan, Lxiugton, Or.
The Brick Saloon
We oany in stook only a
very high grade of
Barrel and Mlled Goods
We oarry the lead
ing brnods of
FINE CIGARS
Draft and Bottled
Beer.
Tho accuracy and reliability of "Stevens" Rifles and
Shotguns have won for them an enviable reputation
Kf.e Book on Firearms Free
it contains not onijr a full description of "Stevens '
China, but valuable information on hunting-, tho proper
care of firearms, note on sights and ammunition, etc.
You should, have it jend two 2-ceut stumps to cover
postage.
( "Crack Shot." . . . . 4
4 "Ntevcnn 1-iitle Krnff," 5
OUR
LEADERS:
17.'
Write f or our clever lilr'l.E ri'ZZIJv it b u. winner
Cnn y"u lo it ? Nnnt frpp. postpaid.
J. STEVENS ARMS & TOOL CO.,
V. O. Box 4093
CHICOPEE FALLS, 51 ASS., V. S. A.
J
Heppneb,
Obegon.
mm k 6QBD0H
Have j'ist oppufd a rew
phI'jou at the corner of
Eiin 6fd May streets.
Finest Liquors and
Cigars
Pendleton Beer on
Draught
Hot and Cold Lunches
Heppner, Or.
(BSESSSS
HEPPNER,
ORE.
Morrow County, Oregon.
Morrow County is a new country , and like all other new oountriep, is Bwaiting development.
Located in tbe Columbia river valley, aud skirted on tbe 8outu witb a spur of tbe Blue moun
tains, within tbe boundaries of Morrow county is a territory 75 miles in length by 35 miles in witlth,
and containing 1,313,280 cores of land. Formerly stookraising was tbe principal iudustry, but lat
terly tbe fertility of the land is bringing Bgrioilture to the front. Immense wheat crops are grown
with iiltle cultivation, the soil being mixad with a voloanic ash which is very rich in wheat producing
qualities. The 1901 crop will aggregate 1,400,000 bushels, muob of it from virgin soil.
Morrow county has thousands of heed of sheep, horses and cattle. The wool prodoctien for
1904 was 2,500,000 poonds. Alfalfa and froit growiog are profitable industries, rapidly growiog in
importance. The oounty has also a great ooal field, soon to be developed.
The Heppner Gazette
Is the best exponent of the industrial life of the
town and county. Keeps its readers thoroughly posted
as to their progress and development. A good medium
to send to eastern friends, thoroughly reliable, wide-awake
and progressive,
$1.00 per Year in Advance
Take advantage of some of our clubbing offers.