THE PEOPLE OF SAMOA
BEAUTIES OF LIFE IN THE KING
DOM ON THE SEA.
THE KAISER'S (1AME DID NOT WORK.
German Attempt to Expand In the Samoan Islands Fromptly Frustrated by
Uncle 5am and John Bull.
The Inhabitants Are Happy, "Love
Fun, Are Hospitable to Strangers,
Never Worry, and Are Fplendid
Fighters When Forced to It.
The recent difllculty In the Samoan
Islands has turned public attention to
that quarter of the Pacific, and we be
gin to wonder what kind of people live
there. First of all, as everybody knows,
there are foreigners, that Is English,
German, French and Americans, but
the chief Interest centers In the native
Samoans.
In color the Samoans are the lightest,
In physique the most perfect and Im
posing as well as the most graceful of
the l'acllic Islanders. In disposition
they are the most gentle, and in man
ners the most attractive, while mental
ly and morally they are much the su
perior of their neighbors. Their color
varies through shades ranging from a
dark brown to a light copper, and oc
casionally to a shade of olive, which is
exceedingly pretty. Their hair Is
straight, coarse and black, although
one daily meets a number of bleached
red-heads, artificially produced by the
application of coral lime, which Is used
u. s
IIAHIIOIt, PAOO PAGO.
to stiffen the hair so that It will more
easily stand erect a style greatly ad
mired. The hair Is generally worn
short, combed upward toward the
crown, and receives frequent and lib
eral applications of cocoanut oil. Varie
ties of adornment prevail according to
the fancy of the Individual; these usu
ally express themselves In the use of
flowers and leaves, which are twined
Into wreaths and garlands and worn
with becoming effect.
Hospitality Is a part of Samoan re
ligion, politeness one of their chief
who represents an old rebellious fac
tiou that for many years was headed
by a rebel chief, Tnmnsesc, and who
has been urged on and assisted by the
Germans, who hope that once they
have him on the throne they ' will bo
able to do anything they please with
him. The Germans have always been
opposed to Malietoas because the latter
have had the sympathy and support of
the English and American people and
governments.
MRS. CORDELIA BOTKIN.
Son Francisco Woman Convicted of a
Diabolical Crime.
Mrs. Cordelia Botkin, -the San Fran
cisco poisoner, who has been convicted
by a Jury which fixed her punishment
at Imprisonment for life, Is a remark
ably pretty and attractive woman. At
her trial for the murder of Mrs. John
THEY LOST NO TIME.
MAN BAIT FOR A TIGER TRAP.
DOLLS FROM SAXONY.
( "
Announcement of an Engagement Was
an Important News Item.
In a Milwaukee newspaper office the
telephone rang loud and long the other
night, or rather, In the early hours of
the morning. It was
the "dog watch,"
most of the workers
having gone home,
and but one member
of the staff was on
guard and on the
alert for anything
from a murder to a
fire. It was about 3
a. m. when the "dog
watch" was called to
the telephone to an-
Horrible Punishment Inflicted on an
English Engineer in Burmah,
Burmah was a most disturbed coun
try from 1852 till 1850. I had my share
of rough work, for I was detailed to
survey and explore the country with a
view to opening it out by roads, writes
Henry Stone In the Wide World Maga
zine. Moung-Goung Gee, an Independent
warrior, half soldier, and wholly a da
coit, was In arms at this time, and ap
peared here and there from time to
time. I suppose it was between 2 a. m.
and 3 a. m. when we were savagely
awakened, and before we knew for cer
tain whether the whole thing was
fantastic dream or not, we were se
curely bound and taken off to Goung
Gee's headquarters, about six miles off
About. 5 p. ui. I was walked off a good
six or eight miles through dense Jun
gles, reviled and tortured more or less
the whole way, and at length I found
myself stripped and thrust into a trat
prepared for a tiger a bamboo ar
raiigement of simple construction. My
Jailers were needlessly brutal anc
abused me in every way. hoping I'd
like the treatment I should meet from
the man-eating tiger which hovered
about near where the trap had been
specially laid.
But previously, while a prisoner and
tied to a tree, a Karen girl had. at the
risk of her life, given me a little water,
and 1 begged of her to send some one
hurriedly to Captain D'Oyly, who was
camped a few miles off, to hurry to my
rescue.
Shortly afterward I heard soft foot
falls first, and then something sniffing
round the trap. There could be no
doubt that It was the maneater. My
heart nearly burst. I was kept in agony
for fully ten minutes, and then the
beast evidently found the door, for he
entered and I heard the door fall,
There was a partition of bamboos be
tween him and me. but I anticipated
that he would soon demolish that and
then tear me to pieces as I lay huddled
up helplessly
Blaker of the Celebrated "French"
Ones an Interesting Community-
In the forests of Saxony, Germany,
are thousands of thatched huts in
which dwell the makers of the cele
brated "French" dolls. Not many
years ago a traveler riumg iuiuu"
these noble forests might have seen
drying In the sun before the queer
houses thousands upon thousands
whole acres of doll heads. That
was In the day of "composition" heads,
but now the doll heads are manufac
tured of bisque In the factories of Dres-
den and other cities, whither the peas
ant doll makers trudge each Saturday
with big baskets piled full of beautiful
new dolls, taking back to their pitifully
poor homes the blank heads, wigs, kids
for the bodies, hands and feet and oth
er parts to be used in the next week's
work.
The father works dally In the forests
and all the rest of the family engage
heartily in the work of dollmaking; the
good wife tints the cheeks, paints the
eyebrows, adjusts the wig, aud makes
the tiuy shoes. The boys fasten the
Jointed limbs together, stuff and cover
the body and get It ready for dressing,
while little Gretcben makes the wee
stockings and the prim muslin skirt In
which the lady dolls cross the great
ocean to the shops In the big cities of
America, where Santa Claus goes each
year to buy his dolls.
All through the rainy season the
father also sits about the fireside work
ing with his family. On Friday night
the faithful frau packs the dolls In
large, shallow baskets, and prepares a
lunch of bread and cheese, for the Sat
urday's Journey is loug, and Hans may
have to carry his basket twenty miles
or more before he reaches the village or
town where the commission merchant
lives who Is to buy his wares. Hans
Is very proud If he is paid at the rate
of one mark a day (about 25 cents) for
his dolls, but If he be paid at the rate
of a mark and a half a day (37 cents)
on account of having brought In some
especially fine dolls, his heart Is so
light and his hopes so high that he
HUMOR OF THE "WEEK
STORIES TOLD BY FUNNY MEN
OF THE PRESS.
Odd, Carton and Laughable Phases
of Human Nature Graphically Por
trayed by Eminent Word Artist of
Oar Own Day A Budget of Fun.
Feyond Help.
"I enn't Imagine why they call bad
actors ham.' "
"Nor I. They can't be cured."
He Confesses.
"And what would you be now If It
weren't for my money?"
"A bachelor." Puck.
He's
One rf Them.
"There goes one of the hardest-
worked men In this town."
"How can that be possible?
rich, Isn't he?"
"Yes, but he has three married daugh
ters who work him for the support of
their husbands right along."
And the Baby Had a Fit.
The Professor's Wife If baby cries,
hubby, Just slug to her, and she'll go
right to sleep again.
the Karen girl's brother had oeen
forced to erect the trap, and had made
the partition of male bamboos of great
strength.
In the darkness I could see the great,
luminous, wistful eyes of the maneater.
The fearful brute, finding he could not
In .via Knfrnn trt tnHpl't Ilia DAWS
"Hollo!" said a voice. "Is It too late " " 'Tr." " l,.a
to get something into
It appeared afterward, however, that sings all the way home as he carries
his basket of "blanks," kids and curled
hair. Gentlewoman.
His Experience.
Miles Marriage Is a failure.
Giles How do you know? You were
never married.
Miles That's how I know. You see.
the girl refused me.
Keeping It Up tn the Last.
Dlx I understand Windig, the attor
ney, Is seriously III
Hix Yes; I met his physician thla
morning and he says he is lying at
death's door.
Dlx That's Just like a lawyer.
A Heartless Wretch.
Wife Here's an article In this paper
on "How Men Propose." Do you re
member how you proposed to me?
Husband Not exactly; but It must
have been In the dark by mistake.
Convincing Evidence.
Friend That song of yours has bo
come very popular, hasn't It?
The Song Writer Yes; I've heard a
number of people swearing at It. Puck.
V here Reason Totters.
Husband What! Another hundred
dollar gown. Didn't I tell you that you
must keep within your allowance?
Wife (triumphantly) You said unless
In case of absolute necessity! Puck.
Maybe.
Mansard I may be awfully Ignorant,
but what are "Job's comforters?"
Hallroom-What the landlady puts
on your bed these cold nights.
Lost Time.
"The first act, you know, Is supposed
to cover a period of twenty years."
"What a long time between drinks."
Cincinnati Enquirer.
swer an Imperative summons,
4-i Vx.,. t n.nf tm f tVifl nn for hnra
to-morrow's ' B""J.
paper?"
"Not If It's Important," was the reply.
"Oh, It Is," was the assuring re
sponse. The reporter rushed for a pad of
paper and a pencil, screwed his ear to
the receiver again and said:
"All right. Fire away there."
The voice was heard again, this time
tremulous with emotion.
"The engagement of Mlsa to
Mr. Is announced."
The wrathful explosion at the news
paper end of the line was picturesque
and prolonged. After a choice assort
ment of profanity In an aside the query
went back: "Why didn't you send In
such stuff earlier In the day?"
"But I couldn't," said the voice apol
ogetically. "You see, It Just happened."
MEN PROMINENT IN THE SAMOAN TROUBLE.
characteristics, and a dishonest act is
the exception. Food and shelter are
vouchsafed to every one entering their
homes or villages, and the stranger has
but to consult his own wishes when he
Is ready to depart.
The Samoans are a Joyous, fun loving
COI'llT HOl'BE AT A I'll..
people, and under the slightest pretext
for an excuse they Indulge their buoy
ant natures In singing aud dancing.
While the Samoans are not a war
like people, they are good lighters
when forced to light. Tho distinguish
ing feature of their warfare Is that af
ter they have slain their antagonists
they cut off their heads and bring them
home as trophies of their victory. They
do this on much the same principle as
the American Indian In days gone by
prided himself In the number of scalps
lie could string to his belt, or as the
American of to-day brings home a cap
tured ting. They have an Inborn hatred
of foreigners, and only make friends
with them when they think they can
profit by doing so or when they fear
the superior power of the foreigner.
They have had almost continual civil
war for the past twenty-five or thirty
years. For many years the reigning
dynasty has ix-vn that of the Malietoas,
I. Dunning, of Dover, Del, and of Mrs,
Dunnlngs Bister, Mrs. Doano, It was
proved that Mrs. BotUIn bought ar
senic nnd candy Just before the box of
poisoned bonbons was sent through the
malls to Airs. Dunning. 'J lie evidence
was most conclusive and left the do-
fense not n foot to stand upon. The
motive for the crime was the in Cut na
tion of Mrs. Botkin for Dunning and
her Intense Jealousy of Mrs. Dunning,
whom she had never seen. The pretty
Sun Franciscan met Dunning In the
coast metropolis, and these two were
wont to "have a good time generally."
Mrs. Botkin was one of the gayest
women In the gay town, and the testi
mony ns to her pranks with her friends
was not especially edifying. Toward
the latter end of July she conceived
her diabolic plan of destroying her
lover's wife, but she overreached her
ends. The real tight for Mrs. Botklu's
liberty, was made upon the question of
Jurisdiction. The prosecution was
conducted under the provisions of sec
tlon 27 of the California code providing
1 JfaW
I
VP l mi
MR. COUDKMA. IIOTKIV.
BTKKBT SCKNK IN Al'IA.
Mulictoa I.aupepa was the greatest
king In Sainoun history. He was de
posed several times, and as often was
reinstated on the throne. The present
king is Maletoa Tauim, but lie Is having
greut difllculty, owing to the treachery
ftud treason of Mutuafa, a firebrand
for tho punishment of crimes commit
ted In whole or in part In that State,
The defense contended that, ns the out
come of the crime really took place In
Delaware, Mrs. Botkin was only liable
to the law of that State.
and then he could barely reach me. He
did succeed, however, In giving me a
claw or two on my back and buttock.
As he smelted the blood he began to
gnaw at the bars, and would doubtless
have made short work of them, but
there was a sudden glare of torches, a
confused murmur, and then I felt the
worst had passed.
The Karen girl, with ten of the Sikhs
out of the twenty which formed my
bodyguard, came up and bayoneted the
tiger, who was caught literally like a
rat In a trap. Fire they dared not, as
thev were only a couple of miles from
Goung Gee's camp. They released me
more dead than allve-from my living
I tomb, and then Improvised a hammock
out of a native blanket ana carried m
to my camp.
The Professor (singing hurriedly, ea
ger to return to work) The sto-o-orm Is
raging wi-l-ildly through the fo-o-or-est!
New York Journal.
ONLY WOMAN ENGINEER.
A Cleveland Girl Who Enjoys a Unique
Distinction.
Miss Florence Caldwell, of Cleve
land, Ohio, has gained the distinction
of being the only woman civil engineer
in America. Miss Caldwell Is an ex
ceptionally well educated girl. She at
tended Adelbert College, graduated
from the Cleveland School of Art, won
high degrees at the Ohio Wesleyan Col
lege nnd finally entered the School of
.
M 1 88 FI.OHKNC.'K CALDWELL.
Mines of the State of Colorndo at
Golden. She was the only female stu
dent in that Institution, and after four
years graduated with a certificate of
civil engineer. No other woman In
America holds such a pnper. Miss
Caldwell Is a daughter of Judge Culd
well, a prominent Ohio Jurist.
IN A BREAD BASKET.
Figure on tho Oo'or.Hl Votf.
By the figures of the last census the
colored vote of the country that Is,
the males alwve the age of 21 years
numbered 1,740,455. Of these tho fol
lowing States had the largest propor
tions: Georgia, 170,028 voters; Missis
sippi, 150,400; Alabama, 140,70:1; South
Carolina, 132,010, nud Louisiana, 111),
815. A Grat Noottlth Industry.
The Scottish herring fishery Is now
the greatest In the world, employing
12,000 boats and 100,000 people.
The otHce seldom seeks the man, but
th olilcw very ofteu doe.
How Two Lovers Outwitted n Parent
in the l'nys of Elizabeth.
The story runs that Lord Compton
fell In love with the only child of Sir
John Spencer, one of the most opulent
of London's merchant princes, pro
verbially known lit the time as "rich
Spencer." Sir John by no means ap
proved of the advances of the youug
courtier, and positively refused to con
sent to the marriage; the course of true
love, however, never running smooth,
Lord Compton devised a plan to out
wit Sir Johu and carry off his lady
love.
A bribe to the baker enabled him to
disguise himself and deliver the loaves
one morning. As soon as the basket
was empty the lady got In. and Lord
Compton was boldly carrying his pre
cious load down stairs wheu he was
met by Sir John, who. luckily not rec
ognizing him, gave hliu a sixpence as
a reward for being so early, observing
that that was the way to thrive. .
On discovering the truth Sir John
was so angry that he disinherited ha
daughter, and the quarrel was only
made up through the Intervention of
Queen Elizabeth, who Invited him to
stand sponsor with her for a child,
whom he promised to adapt to find It
was his own grandson. Pall Mall
Magazine.
Saw the Point Himself.
The following story Is told by the
Youth's Compnnlon of a Philadelphia
millionaire who has been dead some
years: A young man came to him one
day and asked pecuniary aid to start
him in business.
"Do you drink?" asked the million
aire.
"Once In a while."
"Stop It! Stop It for a year, and then
come and see me." The young man
broke off the habit at once, and at the
end of the year came to see the million
aire again.
"Do you smoke?" asked the success
ful man.
"Now and then."
"Stop It! Stop It for a year, and then
come and see me again."
The vouuc man went home and
broke away from the hnblt. It took
him some time, but finally he worried
through the year, aud presented him
self agalu.
"Do you chew?" asked tho philan
thropist.
"Yes, I do," was the desperate reply.
"Stop It! Stop It for over a year, and
then come and see me again.
The young man stopped chewing, but
he never went back again. When asked
by his anxious friends why he never
called on the millionaire again he re-
piled that he knew exactly what the
man was driving nt. "lied have told
me that now that 1 have stopped drink
ing and smoking and chewing I must
have saved enough to start myself in
busluess. And I have."
So'omon In All H i Glory.
A donation party was given to a good
country clergyman In part payment of
his small salary, the principal result
being twenty-seven bushels of beans
and a large variety of second hand
clothing for his five children.
The patience of the clergyman's wife
finally gave out. On the next Sunday
she dressed all her Ave children In the
donated second-hand clothing, and
under her direction they marched up
the aisle Just as the good pastor was
reading that beautiful passage, "Yet
Solomon In all his glory was not ar
rayed like one of these." The next
donation party was of a different char
acter.
Furnish Bucket for Garbage.
In the parish of Stiorediteh, Loudon,
each dwvlllng Is furnished with two
sheetlrou buckets, one for garbage, the
other for combustible refuse. The
jtroots are cleaned by boys with brooms
aud dustpans. The sweepings are put
In sheetlrou receptacles on the street
corners. Carts belonging to the parish
collect the refuse from the streets and
dwellings and haul It to the public
power plant There It Is used as fuel
to produce steam to run the dynamo
that light the parish by night and pro
vide electrical power to small manu
factories by day.
Miss Helen Hay, daughter of the
present Secretary of State, publishes a
small volume of poems called "Some
Verses."
A first book by Miss Mary Johnston
of Birmingham, Alabama, "Prisoners
of Hope," Is said to be a story of re
markable promise.
Through Persia on a Sidesaddle" Is
a new book by Ella C. Sykes, the only
white woman who has ever visited
Kerinan and Beluchistan.
"The Land of the Long Night" Is a
comprehensive work by Paul du Chall-
lu, the scene being laid In Scandinavia.
This book is partly historical, and con
tains an especially striking description
of the great sea fight of the Vikings.
"The Story of America," by Hezeklah
Butterworth, Is a compact volume of
more than seven hundred pages, trac
ing the history of our country from the
earliest days down to the recent sign.
lug of the Peace Protocol ending the
brief war with Spain.
Except It be John Keats, there Is per
haps no English writer of this century
to the sum of whose known literary
productions an addition deserves
more gracious reception than Charles
Lamb. Some newly-found correspond
ence between hint and Robert Lloyd,
the erratic brother of Charles Lloyd, is
soon to be published by the Llppln
cotts. It will deserve reading for a
better reason than mere curiosity about
the writer's personal affairs. Ella had
the faculty of talking about nothing In
such a way that he made It worth more
than the something of other people,
Jokal, the Hungarian novelist, the
character of whose work merits fot
him a place among the great names of
Hungary Kossuth, Liszt, Munkaesy
lives tn extreme simplicity; be is sel
dom seen away from home, and he be
gins work at his desk In the early
morning, sometimes remaining there
the whole day. A small room adjoin
ing his library contains the books of
reference he consults, a narrow bed
like a soldier's and a few window
Dlauts. The room Is so destitute of
what Is generally looked upon as nec
essary comforts that It might be the
dormitory of a monk. Dr. Jokal, now
in his 74th year, is constantly attended
by a devoted man-servant, who has
growu aged In his beloved master's ser
vice. The Hungarian novelist possesses
an extensive knowledge of horticulture,
he tends his garden with his own hands
ami he is the author of a little work
"Hints on Gardening," which Is ex
tremely popular among his neighbors.
Encouragement.
He I wonder what people will say of
my poems a hundred years from now?
suppose the smart critics will have to
dissect them, as they do Byron's and
Wordsworth's now.
She Oh, don't borrow trouble on that
score. The critics a hundred years from
now will have nothing unkind to say
about you. They'll not know that you
ever were.
His Suggestion.
Young Author Well, how do you like
my play? Have you any suggestions to
make?
Mannger There Is one suggestion I
would like to make. Instead of having
j our hero lynched by a mob in the last
act, I think It would be well to have the
mob hang all the characters early in
the opening scene.
Her Distinction,
Manager So you want to go upon the
stage? Have you ever been robbed of
any diamonds?
Fair Applicant No, but I have lived
In Chicago six months without being
stopped by a highwayman.
Manager Whoop-la! I'll put you on
as a star Immediately. You're one In
a million. .
The World a a Debtor.
Bllbberton Oh, well, the world owes
me a living.
The Rev. Mr. Goodman That may be
so, but the world, like a good many In
dividuals, doesn't go hunting around
after creditors in order to pay Its
debts.
The Force of Intellect.
Several Northumberland pitmen who
were waiting to hear the result of a
pigeon homing contest began to discuss
the merits of various well-known
breeds of pigeons. One of the miners
said he knew an lustanee of a young
pigeon that had never been flown, hav
ing been taken to Carlisle, a distance
of about sixty-five miles, yet the first
time It was liberated It came straight
home. "That's nowt," exclaimed a well
known authority. "Aa vence bowt twe
eggs fra a cbep In Edinburgh and Aa
put em under ma best hen. As syun
as Ivvor they wor hatched an flown
they went straight as an arrow back
tlv Aad Reekie." San Francisco Wave,
. Short Lesson in English.
A tiresome caller who had spent the
evening at the borne of a friend,
young lady, and had devoted nearly
all the time to a description of a trip
to Europe, from which he had recently
returned, said to her, as he rose to go
"I bog pardon for being so talkative.
" ... .. ... I tnp.w abroad has entertained von hnt
Illy."
that it Is easier to have the grip twice
than to stay well, and nurse a man
who has It once.
The manner In which New York pa
pers talk about people Is as Interesting
and caudid aa private gossip In Ui
We'
There are more good women In this
world than great oues.
"On the contrary," she replied, po
litely, "It has entertained me quit
welly." Youth Companion.
It'a a wise dude that doesn't marry
tn athletic yosig woman.
National Greatness.
Bonnet Do you think we will have
space enough at the Paris exposition?
Nearpass Yes; I think so. Of course,
we can't expect to look as big as we
feel-Puck.
Very Likely.
Jones Wonder what made Columbus
first think that the world wasn't
square?
Johnson Reckon somebody put up 0
Job on him.
Her Chance.
Miss Fasse They say marriages are
made In heaven.
Miss Tert Ah, then you have one
more chance. Syracuse Herald.
Author and Critic.
"Stubbs, your new novel is splendid.
It Is written In a crisp style and Is In
terlarded with flashes of wit."
"Great Scott! That sounds as If you
had been brought up In a bakery and
were describing piecrust." Chicago
Record.
Peeking Knowledge.
Little Harry Papa, Is It true that
Delilah knocked Samson out by cuttln'
off his hair?
Papa Yes, I believe so.
Little Harry What was Samson a
foot-ball player or a fiddler?
An Kxp'anation.
Little Willy Papa, what Is an old
fashioned patriot?
Fapn He is a voter who believes that
a man who is popularly called "Honest
John" or "BUI," and so on, Is really
honest. ruck.
Horrible.
ne Yes; she Is living under an as
sumed name.
She Horrible! What Is It?
He The one she assumed Immediate
ly after her husband married her.
Syracuse Herald.
Putting His Knot Into It.
it f
"Stupid affair, this, eh?"
"Urn."
"Let's leave."
"Can't. I'm giving the party, you
know." New York Times.
A Hard Job.
"Tlmlins to a man who had to face
great odds In this world."
"I don't know how you make that
out. Ills father was rich and famous.
wasn't her
"Yes; and yet TImllns has made peo
ple recognize the fact that he has suc
ceeded on his own merits."
It Is surprising how much more will
ing a man Is to give up his turn la
denial parlor than In a barber shop.
An Angel.
Smith I hear Robinson has lost $00,
000 on bad notes.
Jones Indorsing for a friend?
Smith No; backing a prima donna.
Judge.
How He Won Her.
A.h," sighed the rich widow; "how
do I know that you do not wish to
marry nie simply for my money?"
"Darling !" cried the man, who was
young enough to be her son; "hare I
not written poetry for the magazines?
And did you ever bear of a poet who
allowed money matters to enter Into
hi calculations 7" .
A Blissful Prospect,
Languid Lannlgan Gee, Weary,
don't yer wish dey'd git up er six-day
eatln' and sleeplu' contest? Denver
News.
Her Opinion.
"People ought not to take children to
the theater," said the bachelor.
'Not If they can possibly avoid It,"
answered the young mother. "The
noise on the stage does keep the poor
little things awake so." Washington
Star.
Not a Public Fenedt,
"I see that a Southern author recent
ly Inherited ?25,000."
"Well, that was a fine piece of luck."
"No, It wasn't He's still writing."
Of Course.
The Optimist Now, as to woman,
generally speaking
The Disagreeable Man Yes, she's
generally speaking.
But Still a Bird.
"I wouldn't call the doctor a quack."
"WTiy wouldn't you?"
"It suggests a duck, and there are
lata of birds witih bigger bills than
that." Cleveland Leader.
He Knew.
Teacher What is a fossil I
Little Willie (raising his hand) I
know, please.
Teacher Well? You may tell us
what a fossil Is.
Little Willie That's what mapmma
said you were the day you sent me
home for a better excuse when I stayed
out because we heard Johnny Tripp's
sister had the measles.
Blotted Out.
"What was your first Impression of
Chicago?"
"I don't know. A chunk of mud
splashed Into my best eye Just as my
first impression and I were about to
meet"
Ignorance of Boastful Boston.
The place was Boston. The district
courtroom and the corridors leading
thereto were crowded with applicants
for citizenship. "Where does the P. evi
dent reside?" the Judge asked one ol
these. The man was an Italian.
"In Washington street."
"You may stand aside."
The Italian went away to brush up
his history, and the Judge said to a
French-Canadian from Fall River:
"Who Is the President of the United
States?"
"McKInley."
"If he should die, who would succeed
hlmr
"His son."
This man also went away sorrowfuL
So did the man who said the Presi
dent lived "on Fleet street;" and an
other who declared the President's
name was "Byron;" and still another
who asserted that the President was
likewise the Governor of Massachu
setts and Mayor of Boston. Youth's
Companion.
At a wedding the men all pity the
bride and the women all pity the
I room. ,