Heppner Weekly Gazette
Published Every Thursday.
HEPPNER OREGON.
Men who plot In France would, in
other lands, be knowu as natural co-
medians.
.
The fight between Mrs. Keely and
the Keely Motor Company suggests a
sort of locomotor ataxia.
! Experience Is about all Spain has ac
cumulated during the year, and she
was not needing much of that
Talking of this Nicaragua Canal in
connection with the Isthmus of Fana
ma, the question is, Will It go through?
! In an Eastern female college a swim
ming tank has just been completed
with a capacity of 50,000 gals. Big
college, that!
! It is Intimated that Mrs. Domlnis
can be Induced to compromise. Utter
ly unnecessary! She has compromised
her case already.
There's nothing in using poisoned
candy that's going to make transfer-
ence to the sweet bye and bye by that
route especially desirable
The Chinese have killed several
French missionaries, which is equlva
lout to saying that France will soon
own another slice of Chinese territory.
Marie Corelli says that eho does not
regard suicide as Justifiable under any
consideration whatever. That's a spe
cial plea for her style of literature.
' Those new automobile trucks In New
York are going to be propelled by com
pressed air. Horses will have a rest.
It's an 111 wind that blows nobody any
good.
1 Trof. Garner has gone back to Afri
ca to study the monkey speech. As
Tolly can talk, we may yet know the
precise language used at that monkey
and parrot time.
I Pol. Incorsoll is said to have had his
watch stolen lately. He's probably not
nleased over it. as his idea of a happy
existence being confined to this world
he doesn't like to lose any time,
North Dakota is right in enumerat
ing among her needs a better divorce
law. The business that the present one
may bring to tho State can never offset
tho dauiugo it la dolug to her reputa
tion.
! Experts say that the war taught lit
tle of any vuluo to military science.
This Is to bo regretted, although It
should bo borno in mind that tho war
was not undertaken for that precise
purpose.
Oom Paul Kruger is determined that
the people of Johannesburg shall have
nt legist two days rest in each week,
Ho has Isued a decree, and it Is being
enforced, that no plnno-playlng shall
occur on Friday or Saturday.
The Botkln caso has had tho effect
of making people a little sklttlHh about
eating anything sent through the mall,
It Is to lie hoped that tho Cornish case
will have a similar effect in checking
the willingness of people to take any
kind of medicine from tho hand of
anybody that offers It.
In a number of avenues of Industry
which for years Great Britain has re-
guided herself ns supreme, tho United
States has taken tho lead. The lend,
once taken, can never be regained by
Great Britain. There was a time when
Its largo resources of Iron oro and coal
gave it an advantage. Its resources In
these materials, however, are nothing
compared to those of tho United States.
I Just how gambling and speculation
pay was very clearly brought out In
the testimony of tho defaulting teller,
Hoggs, lu tho Dover bank case. He
accounted for $50,000 of tho shortage
as follows: Lost on rnco tracks, $20,
0(H); In marginal Btoek operations, $.H,-
000; In poker, $15,000; in faro, $2,000;
In pools and bucket shops, $.1,500; and
$2,000 In politics. Here Is a choice col
lection of sermons for gamblers ond
speculators.
When Julia Ward Howe was a young
girl, her first literary venture was fa-
.vorahly noticed In a local newspaper,
'This Is my llttlo girl who knows about
Isioks," said a favorite uncle, "and
writes an article and has It printed; but
I wish sho knew more about house-
keeping;" a sentiment which In after
years Mrs. Howo had occasion to echo
with fervor. Few women reach adult
life without finding themselves so cir
cumstanced that a domestic training Is
Invaluable to them.
To horseless carriages and smokeless
powder add chlmnoyless factories os
the newest In nomenclature. Hereto
fore it has been necessary In order to
secure plenty of draft for a furnace to
build an Immensely tall chimney. Now
It Is found that Instead of pulling tho
draft by a chimney you can push u
irom nciow wiin u inn. a piuiii run-
nlng three boilers of 2iU) horse power
tried tills experiment with a fan whose
wheel hail a diameter of fifty-four Inch
es. Tho draft was so much bettered
that the firm suved uenrly $1,000 a year
by using a cheaper grade of coal.
For defensive purposes the lesson of
American martial ardor and skill
taught to Europe wlthlu tho year that
Is past Is of Incalculable value, nnd for
long years to como It must temper tho
aggressiveness of nations that might
otherwise havo sought to check tho
progress of a republic whose unexam
pled prosperity Is a standing menace
to monarchical Institutions. Notwith
standing tho republic hao Joined tho
ranks of tho modern militant powers In
such a dramatic way and In such a
short time, we may confidently trust
that the country will remain a slum
bering giant amid tho unworthy con
flicts Into which some of the militant
tuitions havo been prone to enter.
Now that Mrs. Botkln has been ad-
Judged guilty of the charge of using
the mails as a medium for tho distribu
tion of poisoned candy we are glad to
fcarn that she will be locked uo for the
rest of her unnatural life. The Borgia
industry should not be allowed to flour
ish in this enlightened country, and
there are certainly more humane ways
of separating a man from his wife
than by the use of quick poisons. It ia
very pleasant to be loved by the ladies,
but the average man is not anxious
that the divine passion shall be car-
ried to such an extent as that, and the
various essays on love, from Schopen-
hauer, Mrs. Corbin and other able au-
thnrIt. hnv npv. i.i U8 to believe
that the rlght femlnlne emotion of ten-
der passion is responsible for these
harsh extremes. We are solicitous that
during her Incarceration Mrs. Botkln
shall be closely watched and shall be
kept as far as possible from the prison
dispensary, for a woman of her lm
pulses is likely at any moment to at
tempt to exercise her talent for flavor
,ng confcctIon8
One of the most valuable of recent
naval criticisms called out by the Span
ish-American war Is made in an article
In a German techuical magazine by
Itear Admiral Pluddeman, of the Ger
man navy. The German admiral says
the war will lead to no radical revolu
tion of present naval Ideas, but that it
will enrich former experience by way
of illustration. The naval operations
of the war he discusses under five
hWMlfrthe personncl, the construction
e(llIpnlcnt of 8hlp9( the nrtiiiery,
the torpedo, the ram and speed. As
to both the torpedo and the ram, he
says the war has left us practically
where we were when it began, as their
efik'lency cannot bo said to have been
fairiy tested. The superiority of Amer
ican guns and gunners is willingly rec-
ognlzed, but the German admiral says
but few of the shots were exploded,
and that the making of the fuse has
evidently not yet reached perfection
in America. In the naval battle of
Santiago he says the American vessels
made but 103 hits for 170 guns, and
that of these the 13-lnch and the
12-Inch guns did not score a single hit.
Explosion of a shell killed the entire
crew of the Oquendo, but In the opin
Ion of this naval expert this would not
have happened if the turret had had no
roof. The German critic agrees with
most others that the greatest execution
was wrought by the (5-pounders, and
uio tact unit omy ioul aiufirau Ku
were in need of repairs at the end of
the war speaKB wcii ior me uurnuuuy
or me aruuery.
Notwithstanding tho notable example
of the gentleman of Oregon who gave
awoy his wife and threw In four acres
of onions for good measure, it does not
follow that wives and onions neces
sarlly go together. A later instance Is
reported from New York, where a wife
put onions In tho soup, and is now in
the hospital suffering from a severe
contusion made by a heavy plate
hurled by the Indignant partner of her
Joys and sorrows. And this suggests
tho reflection that many domestic trng
eclies are inspired by the thoughtless
ness of women in their culinary af
fairs. The ladles never weary of as
sorting that the way to a man's affec-
tions is through his stomach, and this
is measurably and grandly true. But
since It is so widely known it does seem
a llttlo strange that women will per.
Blstently take chances where there are
no chances, Ignoring the delicate and
subtle means of continued good cheer
and happiness. Vo have been much
surprised that the women's clubs, and
especially the household departments,
have not given more time to this
branch of domestic felicity, pointing
out In special meetings tho advantages
which accrue from diplomatic avoid
nnce of Instruments of wrath, such as
highly flavored onions, garlic, red pep
per, chill snuco and tobasco, assuming
tho conjugal aversion. VUiilo no true
gentleman will break a plato over his
wife's head it Is unnecessary even to
give him provocation for tho deed, nnd
It appears to us tho duty of tho worn
ch'b clubs to urge a llttlo more fem
inine care and thoughtfulncss.
JOURNALISM IN AUSTRIA.
Ludicrous Revelations of nn Kditor
Drought to Trial for Libel.
Some curious fads havo beeu brought
to light In tho course of an action for
libel brought against tho editor of the
Neunklrchener Zeltung, a provincial
weekly paper with a largo circulation
in Neunklrchen and district. Neun
kirclien Is a flourishing town about six
ty miles from Vienna.
Tho editor, Carl Kulf, urged In cx
tenuatlon of his misdemeanor that he
was so occupied with his duties as a
shoemaker that ho had no time to prop
erly discharge his editorial work
which he only undertook as a supple
nicntary occupation. His salary as
editor was 5 per annum.
Judge You do not seem to possess
the training ond education necessary
to an editor.
Heir Kulf That Is not necessary at
all.
Judge But an editor must at least be
able to write an article.
Herr Kulf Oh, no. I cut all my art!
.g 0ut of other papers.
Judge Who acted as editor In your
absence?
Herr Kulf A hatter lived next door
to tho olllce, nnd he used to receive the
correspondence and hand It over to the
rit,.rs. The mlutors uubllshed what
interested them
Judge These are extraordinary con
dittoiis for a town so near the capital
of Austria.
Herr Kulf It Is not only In Vienna
that proper Ideals of the mission of the
press are In vogue. I always praise
the townspeople who deal with nie and
pay their bills regularly, and "pitch
Into" those who buy their shoes else
where nnd do not settle their debts,
The Neunklrchener Zeltung is a pape
with principles. It receives a subven
tlon from the local authorities.
Judge How do you obtain the sub
vention?
Herr Kulf I undertook to fully re
port all the Mayor's speeches, chronicle
Ills small doings nnd shower praise on
his administration.
Herr Kulf was finally sentenced to
fine for not exercising that supervision
over his paper which au editor Is In
Austria legally compelled to do. Lou
don Mall.
rigs In China.
It If said that In some of the farming
districts of China pigs are harnessed to
small wagons and made to draw them,
-
Some men can t understand why th
(ool killer doesn't call next door. .
THE CZAR OP RUSSIA.
A CHARACTER SKETCH OP THIS
MIGHTY RULER.
tils Peace Proposal Hat Given to Him
a Character that History Will Pre
serve Immortal He Is Bteadfastf
Frank and Fearless, ffipfr
An admirable character ske'tch of
Czar Nicholas II. of Russia is drawn
by the English Journalist, W. T. Stead,
in the American Monthly. Nicholas
II., says the writer, in stature does not
resemble his father, who was a Bon of
Anak. It is a mistake, however, to
speak of him as If he wer exception
ally slight. He Is about tho same
height as Gen. Gordon, whom he re
sembles In other things besides the
number of his Inches. When he rides
or sits the Emperor seems as tall as
most men. When he stands he Is a
little taller than Lord Nelson or Napo
leon Bonaparte. Good stuff, says the
old adage, Is often put up In little bun
dies, and the giant In popular legend Is
usually as dull as he is huge. In phy
sique the Emperor Is wiry and vigor
ous. One who sees him every day told
me that physically Nicholas is a much
healthier man than his father.
The first and most conspicuous char
acteristic of Alexander III. was the
solidity of his mental temperament.
Ho was by no means dull. But he was
slow. He put his foot down like an
elephant, and when he put it down he
was not quick to take it up again. The
characteristic of his son and successor
Is quite different. Alertness, exactness,
lucidity, and deflnlteness are four ex
celleut qualities In a man, and the Em
peror has them all. With all this
there Is an absolute absence of any
thing even distantly approaching prlg-
glshness. Many years ago Mr. Glad
stone described the present Emperor as
a charming typo of tho best of our pub
lic school boys. He was frank, fear
less, perfectly natural, and simplicity
itself. Nicholas II. Is no longer a boy.
He has borne for several trying years
the burden of one of the greatest em
pires in the world. But he is still as
absolutely simple and unaffected as he
was when Mr. Glndstone met him In
Copenhagen fifteen years ago. There
Is still In him all the delightful school
boy abandon of manner, a keen sense
of humor, and a hearty, outspoken
frankness In expressing his oplnlens
which makes you feel that you are
dealing with a man whose character Is
as transparent ns crystal. Add to all
this a modesty as admirable as It Is
rare, and It must bo admitted that even
if the net human product should fall
short of being a great ruler, he has at
least all the qualities which make men
beloved by their fellows. Tho bright,
clear blue eye, the quick sympathetic
change of feature, tho merry laugh,
succeeded In a moment by an expres
sion of noble gravity and of high re
solve, the rapidity nnd grnce of his
movements, and even his curious little
expressive shrug of the shoulders, are
nil glimpses of a character not often
found unspoiled by power.
Those who know him best nppear to
love him most nnd naturally enough
each ono thinks his only fault Is that
he is too rendy to sacrifice his own con
venlence and his own wishes to oblige
others. A more dutiful son never sat
on a throne. He Is singularly happy
In his marriage, nnd tho Emperor of
Russia will never lack ono of tho most
Intelligent nnd loyal of chancellors
while his wife lives. As his parents
before him set Europo an example of
domestic unity and felicity, so Nicholas
II. maintains tho honorable and happy
tradition, lie Is loyal In his friendships
and slow to part with any of those who
are In his own or were In his father's
service.
Distinctions of His Reign.
So far his reign has beeu distin
guished by three things. First, his
frank recognition of tho fact that until
he found his feet nnd had acquired
:l'ie experience In the business of
governing It became him to serve his
apprenticeship modestly and silently.
The second salient feature In his
reign was marked by a significant
blend of the two conflicting tendencies
the Intuitive Instinct which enabled
him to divine the right thing to be done
and the modest reluctance to Impose
his will upon the more experienced ad
uiintstrntors who thwarted and crip
pled his policy. I refer to the generous
Initiative taken by the Czar In the di
rection of an amelioration of the harsh
ness of the Polish regime as he Inherit
ed It from his father. Iu that he showed
true Insight and a keen sympathy with
subjects who were suffering from un
doubted grievances. But tho forces of
reaction and the Jealousy of a dominant
bureaucracy, aided perhaps by the
somewhat unreasonable expectations
of some of the roles, checked the full
realization of his designs. To some
tills may seem nn admission that he
wns lacking In strength. It would bo
more Just to recognize that he felt he
was lacking In experience. He was
young to the responsibilities of govern
ment. It was liettor to bide his time,
Safely and Blow they stumble who
run fast.
There Is one thing about the peace
rescript which uo one can deny. It
was splendidly audacious ns well as
magnificently ambitious. Wise It may
lie or foolish, but mean, petty or un
worthy It was not. Will he have tho
nerve to stick to It? The resolution to
put It through? The strength to over
power the Immense forces which will
be banked together to defeat his gen
erous and most sensible design? That
I t--iiB Him Ul"" iioium ... c.
, m crux of the whok,
forcottln tUat Nk.
question. Let
Nicholas was
tun cz ah NicnoL as "
not only born In the purple, but that
he has, as his sires and grandsires, at
Imperious a series of monarchs as ovej
swayed a scepter.
THE SAGACIOUS HERO.
He Insisted on Certain Conditions Be
fore Manifesting; His Bravery.
"No," declared the Captain, "I posi
tively decline to lead my company up
that hill."
"Sir," exclaimed the Colonel, "do you
know that what you are saying Is rank
Insubordination?"
"Call it Insubordination or what you
will," the Captain returned, "but I re
fuse to go."
The Colonel was furious. The com
pany that he had detached for the pur
pose of storming the bill and capturing
the fort on top of It was the only one
that could be spared, and unless his
plans as arranged were executed the
whole cnmpalgn would fall. Not only
that, but his little army would In all
probability be cut off from the main
body and wiped out of existence.
It was a critical moment. The Cap
tain could be court martlaled and shot
for his refusal to obey orders, but what
of It? Every man was needed. To
court martial and shoot the obstinate
Captain would not be to take the hill
and the fort He was the only man who
could do It with the force at his com
mand. What was to be done? The Colonel
gnawed his mustache and thought
hard. At last he decided to appeal to
the Captain Instead of ordering him.
"Think, man, think of the glory that
you will win If you do this thing," he
urged.
"I know all about that," the Captain
replied.
"Well, for heaven's sake, don't you
want to be a hero? Think of It! The
entire nation will applaud you!"
"I realize that, and I am anxious to
become a hero; but I positively refuse
to do It until you drive all these corre
spondents back and keep them off the
field. I propose, if I do this business,
to retain the sole magazine rights on It.
I'm not going to do a heroic thing and
then let somebody else get $500 a page
for writing It up!"
So tho hill was taken, nnd the far-
seeing Captain Is now living In luxury
and winning new laurels with his pen.
Cleveland Lender.
SCHOOLS IN THE ORIENT.
There Is Abundant Chance to Get an
English Education There.
Throughout British territory, In the
Orient, churches and schools are scat
tered nbout, and always are at head
quarters, militih-y or civil. All the sub-
ccts of her Majesty the Queen can en
ter the Christian churches and Chris
tian Sunday schools If they wish. They
are not the "destitute heathen" of the
old-time phrase "destitute of the
means of grace;" and the "Eurasians"
Europe-Asians, hybrids ambitious to
be classed as "Europeans, crowd
promptly Into the Christian churches.
Their main rush is for two, either the
Protestant Episcopal or Methodist;
first In preferment the Episcopal, the
old established church of England, be
cause there all officials go the viceroy,
the local governors and their families
whoever represents the ruling power;
and the next tho Methodist churches
which, as here, have tho popularizing,
drawing faculty, being zealous and en
ergetic.
There, ns here, the Roman Catholic
churches get more people than any oth
er church. Their pictures of saints aud
angels and tho Madonna and the
Savior, their dressed statues and theit
processional celebrations the non-edu
cated can get hold of at once, as a
story; and a story with points of reseui
blance to their Inherited faith. Chris
tlanlty's heroes and heroines march
well Into lino with sacred biography
which they before were familiar with.
Their old-time heroes and heroines
were very grotesque, but, for all that,
sacred; sacred somewhat. That wholf
people Is grotesque. Their art Is gro
tesque. We are different But we are
not symmetrical. In fact, we also arc
grotesque. Chicago Inter Ocean.
DARINQ PICTURE HUNTERS.
K taking a Life for the Purpose oi
Getting a Snap f hot.
The English brothers, R. and C
Koarton, have made a particular studj
of photographing Insects, birds anc
small uulmals lu their native haunts
AH ENTHUSIASTIC rUOTOOnAPHBBj.
Often In order to secure the best re
suits, they have risked their Uvea fo:
some striking snap shot. The Illustra
tlou shows one of their attempts to pho
tograph a sea bird In Its home by thi
waves.
Axes of Animals.
According to Borne naturalists thi
length of life of animals Is as follow:
The fox from U to 13 years.
The cat from 15 to 17 years.
The dog from 10 to 18 years.
The bear aud wolf from IS to 2i
years.
The rhluoeeros from 20 to 22 year.
The horse from 22 to 25 years.
The heu from 25 to 28 years.
The poriolse from 29 to 30 years.
The camel and crow 100 years.
The tortoise 110 years.
The eagle 120 years.
The elephant 400 years.
The whale 1,000 years.
ELOPEMENT ENDED QUEERLY.
A Kentucky Maiden Acqnired a Stap
father Instead of a Husband.
In the White Oak neighborhood, near
Gr&enup, Ky., lived a comely widow,
Mrs. Martha Berry, aged about 40, and
her pretty daughter, Matilda, who has
just entered her eighteenth year. In
the same neighborhood lived Johnson
AVtitley, a prosperous farmer of 30,
and a widower. Whitley had been pay
ing attention to Mrs. Berry's daughter
for the last six months, and it was gen
erally supposed throughout the neigh
borhood that they would be married
soon. The mother, however, would not
give her consent to the match, but she
did not object to the young widower's
calls. He pleaded with the widow for
the hand of her daughter all to no pur
pose, and the young people decided on
an elopement
All the arrangements were-made for
the clandestine leave-taking, but the
watchful mother discovered what was
on foot, and on Friday night, the time
set for the elopement, she went to her
daughter's room shortly after dark and
bound the girl hand and foot. She also
tied a gag in her mouth and took her to
her own room and tied her to the bed.
Sho then returned to the daughter's
room, and when Whitley came to steal
away his lady love the widow answered
the summons, and, without speaking a
word, joined the young man In the
ard. He assisted her into his buggy
nnd drove with her to Grayson, the
county seat of Carter County, where
he had arranged with Judge Morris to
perform the ceremony.
Whitley was struck by the silence of
his companion, but as she leaned con
fidingly on his arm and appeared to be
sobbing all the time, he could do noth
ing more than caress her now and then
and cheer her up by telling her that her
mother would forgive her. He had no
Idea that he was carrying off the moth
or instead of the daughter, and It was
not until after the ceremony was per
formed on the judge's front porch and
they had repaired to a hotel that the
deception was discovered by Whitley.
He was dumfounded, but realizing that
he was the husband of his sweetheart's
mother he concluded to make the best
of what appeared to be a bad bargain.
To a neighbor he said that although he
thought he was dead In love with Ma
tilda, he always did think a great deal
of her handsome mother.
Matilda was discovered bound In ner
mother's room by a neighbor the next
morning, and w hen she learned of the
trick her mother had played her she
took the matter philosophically, and
said that while she thought she loved
Mr. Whitley she is now satisfied that
she did not. She promised to be a duti
ful daughter to him. Louisville Cour
ier-Journal.
A Lancashire miner was badly In
jured one night, and, on being taken
to the Infirmary, was told by the doc
tors that he must give up the ale he
loved or lose his leg. Looking ruefully
down at the Injured member, he said:
"If this 'ere wound can not stand a
sup o' good yale, him and me must part
company. Off wl' Mm!"
One day, when Sir Walter and Lady
Scott were roaming about their estate,
they saw some playful lambs In
meadow. "Ah," said Sir Walter, " 'tis
no wonder that poets from the earll
est ages have made the lamb the em
blem of peace and Inocence!" "They
are Indeed delightful animals," said
Lady Scott, "particularly with mint
sauce!"
The vicar of Skegby, England, was
conducting a marriage where the bride
was a regular attendant at Sunday
school. When she was asked: "Wilt
thou have this man to be thy wedded
husband?" she replied: "Yes, verily, by
God's. help, so I will, and I heartily
thank our Heavenly Father, who hath
brought me Into the state of salva
tion."
Little Louise, from Boston, was strug
gling alternately with her arithmetic
and her natural history lessons for the
morrow, without making much head
way. Finally she exclaimed: "I wish I
were an Australian rabbit!" "An Aus
trallan rabbit!" said her mother; "why
do you wish you were an Australian
rabbit?" "Because they multiply so
rapidly," was the reply.
One morning Emperor William, who
has a great penchaut for building
churches, was riding in his carriage on
Unter den Linden, when an old gentle
man espied him from a distance, and
immediately bared his head, which
was as bald as a billiard-ball. Sudden
ly the old gentleman felt somebody
touching his shoulder, and heard . a
voice behind him saying: "Say, old
man, you had better cover your head,
for wherever the Emperor notices a
bald spot he'll surely build a church."
An English officer whose ship was
stationed off the coast of Ceylon went
for a day's shooting, accompanied by
a native attendant. Coming to a partic
ularly Inviting river, the officer resolv
ed to have a bath, and asked the native
to show him a place where there were
no alligators. The native took him to
a pool close to the estuary. The officer
thoroughly enjoyed his dip, and, while
drying himself, he asked his guide why
there were never any alligators In that
pool. "Because, sar," promptly replied
the Cingalese, "they plenty 'fraul of
shark."
Lord Blesslngton, the husband of the
celebrated Countess of Blesslngton, had
a horror of a draught He was able
Count d'Orsay used to declare to de
tect a current of air caused by the key
being left crossways In the keyhole of
the door. He and his wife and a youth
were one day walking on the banks of
the Thames. The boy, skipping back
ward and forward, went several times
dangerously close to the edge of the
bnuk. "Take care, take care!" cried
Lord Blesslngton, exhibiting a degree
of solicitude most unusual where an
other person was concerned. "For
heaven's sake, mind what you are
about, boy, or you'll certainly fall Into
the river." After two or three repe
titions of his alarm In this fashion for
the lad. Lady Blesslngton, losing pa
tience, raid: "Oh. let the boy alone; If
he does fall Into the water he swlmi
like a fish." "Yes, yes," said his lord
ship in injured tones, ' that's all very
well; but what about me? I shall catch
my death of cold driving home in the
carriage with him."
Years ago, when Frank Parmelee
was running his 'bus line In Chicago,
says the Record, he had a driver
named "Bob," and he had his suspi
cions that he wasn't getting all the
fares he was entitled to. "Bob" had a
habit of talking to himself, and one
night Parmelee caught him in the sta
ble reckoolng up the day's proceeds.
He had emptied his buckskin bag out
on a sack of oats, and was stacking up
silver dollars In two piles. "Here's a
dollar for me, and here's a dollar for
Frank," Ije said, "and a dollar for me
and a dollar for Frank." He kept on
this way until he had all the money
equally divided, with a dollar over.
rarnielee kept still and waited to see
what "Bub" would do with that dollar.
"Bob" looked at It and weighed it In
his hand. "Shall I keep It?" he says to
himself; 'no, I'll let Frank have It. He
has to fed the horses." Parmelee
broke In kin him then, and gathered in
the whole pot. Next he proceeded to talk
kindly but firmly to his driver. "It's a
good thing you had some glimmerings
of conscience remaining, you Infernal
old scouiUrel," he said; "if you hadn't
turned over that odd dollar, I'd have
fired you, sure."
THE BEST MAN.
How He Comes to Have a Part in the
Marriage Ceremony.
Under the title "When a Maid's Mar
ried" Frederick Boyd Stevenson, In the
Womnn's Home Companion, traces the
origin of uome of our marriage customs
back to tiae days of primitive man.
"While we smile at the wife-stealing
propensity of the savage or half-savage
nations, we cherish as our dearest form
a custom that had Its direct origin in
this very self-same practice. The 'best
man,' who plays so Important a part in
well-regulated marriages that nowa
days have any pretense at all to the
fashionable, once on a time in Sweden
occupied a position that was useful as
well as ornamental. In the old days the
Swedish groom found It desirable, In
fact, to hive several 'best men,' to de
fend him from the assaults of rivals
and prevent them from carrying away
his bride. The Scandinavian warrior
of ancient times was far too lofty In his
Ideas to condescend to plead for a
maiden's hand. So he patiently waited
until some other man who was more
gallant had obtained the fair one's con
sent. Then when all the details had
been nicely arranged, the proud war
rior, with a body of well-trained retain
ers, dashed down on the wedding par
ty, and If strong enough carried away
the bride. The 'best men' (and It was
very essential that they should be the
best men In those days), therefore, be
came necessary fixtures to the mar
riage ceremony, nnd they were so well
esteemed and their popularity became
so permanent that when the renson for
their existence was removed they were
still retained. Hence, the custom is
preserved In the 'best man' of to-day."
RING SIGNIFICANCE.
According to the Stones Set in Them
They Tell Their Meaning.
The enchanted rings of the Greeks
and ancients were formed of the gems
assigned to the several planets, each
set In Its appropriate metal. Thus the
sun was diamond or sapphire In a ring
of gold; the moon, crystal In silver
Mercury, magnet In quicksilver; Venus,
amethyst In copper; Mars, emerald In
Iron; Jupiter, cornelian In tin, and Sat
urn, turquoise In lead. These rings, If
worn In the birth month of the posses
sor, furthered the progress of his love
affairs, and acted as a talisman In
many ways. Even In our present days,
in various countries, a superstition still
exists that to each month Is dedicated
a precious stone, and that any one by
wearing constantly the stone of his
birth month, Insures for himself great
and unfailing good luck. So to January
Is dedicated the garnet; to February,
the amethyst; to March, the bloodstone
to April, the sapphire; to May, the em
erald; to June, the agate; to July, the
ruby; to August, the sardonxy; to Sep
tember, the chrysolite; to October, the
opal; to November, the topaz, and to
December, the turquoise.
Two Narrow Buildings.
Philadelphia may not be able to boast
the tallest buildings In the world, but
she surely has her share of the narrow
est. On the corner of Chestnut and
American streets Is located a building
that at first glance would seem to re
fleet seriously on the sanity of the pro
jector, but the multitude of prosperous
tenants form a monument to the flnan
clal shrewdness of the owners. From
outside to outside of the walls of the
structure Is exactly five feet wide.
is one hundred and fifty feet deep, and
there are four stories. Every room in
It Is occupied by a shop of some kind
or by families, who seem to be con
tented with their lot The walls are
over one foot thick, and this leaves less
than one yard for the Inside space,
Therefore, It Is a physical Impossibility
for the tenants to occupy a full-sized
bed. If hey desire to sleep It must be
on a cot, and the sleeper extends his
body froji north to south. Among the
numerous Industries In this contracted
building ire a tailor shop, a restaurant,
a printing office, a sign painting estab
lishment and a cigar store. Another
narrow building Is at Market and Le
tltla streets. It Is five stories high and
six feet three inches wide. In Its orig
inal stat this building was six feet
wider than at present, but a city Im
provement cut It down to the present
size.
The Deepest Fresh-Water Lake.
W. G. Steel has been engaged In
sounding Lake Chelan In Washington.
A depth of 2,500 feet was found, but
no bottom reached. The sounding In
progress Is being conducted systematic
ally, starting from near Lakeside, and
the bottom reached at regular Inter
vals. Crater Lake, Oregon, was the
last body of water Mr. Steel sounded,
and It has been considered the deepest
fresh-water lake in the United States
until the present time, but Chelan now
far surpasses it Correspondence Se
attle Poat-Intelllgencer.
Every tailor knows a lot of promis
ing young mt '
MISSING PERSONS FOUND.
New Line of Work Taken I p by the
Salvation Army.
The Salvation Army has b ;en instru
mental during one year In tracing no
fewer than 708 missing persons. The
total is a large one, but Col. Stitt, who
has charge of this particular branch
of the army's work, says that after all,
it Is but a tithe of the number who, to
quote his own words, "drop out of ex
istence" In the course of twelve months.
For London alone the estimate Is fixed
at about 9,000. What It is for all the
countries in which the army operates
or what the percentage of "finds," the
Colonel was not able to say offhand.
The Investigation department of the
Salvation Army is unquestionably do
ing an important work. Its Inquiries
are not confined to the metropolis, nor
to the United Kingdom, but, with the
exception of Russia, China nnd one or
two other countries, It practically era
braces the whole world. It Is part and
parcelof thearmyand essentially Inter
national. It Is, so to speak, a new Scot
land Yard on an extended scale. For
the department Is nothing if not ambi
tious. It undertakes to "search in any
part of the world for missing or run
away relatives and friends; to seek to
bring to justice men who have ruined
or wronged girls or women, and to In
quire Into the respectability of people,
houses or situations, and generally ad
vise and help as far as possible those
In difficulty."
With the organization of the army at
Its beck and call, with officers ana
workers rendy to respond to any and
every command, It Is in a position to
execute commissions on the shortest
possible notice. And while it Is prepared
to do all this without fee or reward,
Colonel-Stitt pointed out that "it is also
prepared to undertake, at moderate
rates, detective cases and investiga
tions of certain descriptions for those
In a position to pay.
"There is no end," he explained, "to
the possibilities of a department of this
kind. We began in a very small way.
Someone lost a friend and wrote to us
asking If we could make Inquiries
through our officers. We did so, and
the result was highly satisfactory. This
led to the establishment of the investi
gation department."
Some of the cases were cited. There
was nothing romantic about them.
They merely bore testimony to the gen
eral usefulness of such an agency. They
were of all sorts and conditions. Run
away husbands, mothers who had de
serted their little ones, friends who
have been missing for years, girls who
have foolishly left their homes, chil
dren of tender years who have been de
coyed from their parents.
One case was that of a man who had
left his wife for sixteen years. The
woman sought the help of the depart
ment In order, If possible, to ascertain
whether her husband was dead or alive.
The army found him to be alive and In
a position to support his wife. The
woman would have been satisfied with
a modest 5 shillings a week. The hus
band declined to pay so much. Tho
army assisted the woman In bringing
the case before a magistrate. Instead
of 5 shillings the man was ordered to
contribute 7 shillings 0 pence per week.
Instances of this kind could be multi
plied by tue score, aiso or gins wno
have loft their homes to go into service,
and after a few months, perhaps, have
been completely lost to their relatives
and friends. In course of time It is
contemplated including criminal Inves
tigation within the purview of the de
partment. The idea would be to assist
the police and bring offenders to jus
tice. The army and its multifarious
ramifications would make a valuable
police auxiliary. The penitent form has
on various occasions served a useful
purpose in this direction, the penitents
voluntarily consenting to expiate their
offenses.
Colonel Stitt has a keen appreciation
of the Importance of the work he has
In hand. All he wants Is to extend It.
As he very truly observed, "A great
many people In searching for lost
friends spend a lot of valuable time,
as well as money, In making inquiries
that cannot lead to any practical good,
whereas if they came to us they would
have placed at their service an Investi
gation departmeut that is internation
al In its operations." London Mail.
Brave Boll and Cruel Spaniard.
The trumpet sounds again, and the
espada takes his sword and his muleta,
and goes out for the last scene. This,
tirltlith nil rrli f in Ka la n-v- nlnrmra tlm
n uivu v vi i-, j . w is v t, ui a. j at nia
real climax. The bull Is often by this
time tired, has had enough of the sport,
leaps at the barrier, trying to get out
He is tired of running after red rags,
and he brushes theni aside contemptu
ously; he can scarcely be got to show
animation enough to be decently killed.
But or,A bull I saw yesterday was
splendluiy savage, and fought almost
to the last, running nbout the arena
with the sword between his shoulders,
and that great red line broadening
down each side of his neck on the
black; like a deep layer of red paint,
one tricks one's self Into thinking.
He carried two swords In his neck,
and still fought; when at last he, too,
got weary, and he went and knelt
down before the door by which he had
entered, and would fight no more. But
they went up to him from outside the
barrier ajpd drew the swords out of
him; and he got to his feet again, and
stood to be killed. Loudon Saturday
Review.
Twenty-six in One Family,
It Is doubtful whether another coun
ty la the State can equal Worcester In
the size of a family. Near Bridgeville
Uvea a colored family consisting of
Aaron Quail, his wife, and twenty-four
children. Twenty-threee years aga
Quail married Martha Ann Rogers, and
twenty-four children were born. One
child died. There were three sets of
twins. Two years ago his wife died,
and one year later Quail married again.
One child Is the result of that union.
When the meals are served two tables
are used, fourteen sitting at one and
twelve at the other, to avoid the un
lucky thirteen Baltimore American.
Soot in London.
One thousand tons of soot settle
monthly within the 118 square miles of
Loudon.
The man who snores in a sleeping car
la apt to wake and find himself fa
mous. There Is a great deal of cold comfort
in a handkerchief . .