OFFICIAL swx PAPER
r .T. "777777"!
I MY SUCCESS
!
I FREQUENT AND CONSTANT
Is owing to my liberality in ad-
vertis;ng Robert Bonner.
2
Advertising brought me all 1 1
own. A. T. Stewart.
I
' j
M'liI'M ItHVIIMillM I Milflil'M :MllllillMIMtlii
X
f
' p
ft, '71
it
FOURTEENTH YEAR
SEMI WEEKLY GAZETTE
PUBLISHED
Tuesdays and Fridays
BY
W PATTERSON PUBLISHING COMPANY.
OTIS PATTERSON. . . . Editor
A. W. PATTERSON, . Business Manager
At $2.50 per year, $1.25 for biz months, 75 ots.
tor three moutns.
Advertising Rates Made Known on
Application.
THIS PAPER is kept On file at E. 0. Dake's
Advertising Agency, K4 and 65 Merchants
Exehangs, Ban Vranciooo, California, where cou
raots for advertising can be made for it.
0. R. & N. -LOCAL CARD,
Train leaves Heppner 10:30 p. m. dally, except
Bunday. Arrives 6:15 a. m. daily, except Mon
day. West bound passenger leaves Willows Junc
tion 1:13 a. m.; east bound 8:H0 a. in.
Freight trains leave Willows Junction going
eaBt at 7:25 p. m. and 8: 17 a. in.; going west, 4:30
p. m. and 5.56 a. in.
official xnxaEcxosaTr.
United States Officials.
President. G rover Cleveland
Vice-President.,
..Ad si Stevenson
Beo-eary of Htate
Heorntary of Treasury
Secretary of Interior
Secretary of War
Secretary of Navy
Postinaster-Oeneral
Attorney-Gnneral
tteoretaryoT Agriculture,,
....alliohardS. Olney
, Jahn G. Carlisle
Hoke Bintth
, ....Daniel S. Lamont
Hilary A. Herbert
...William h. Wi son
Judeon Harmon
J. Sterling Morton
State of Oregon.
Governor
Secretary of State
Treasnrnr
Hnnt. Pttblio Inntrnvtion.
W. P. Lord
JT.K. Kincaid
Phii. Metanhan
O.M. Irwin
Attorney Goneml.
C. M. Id'eman
M-..,. jtt.W.MoBride
- (j, h, Hi
litchell
r, ( Binae
Ringer Hermann
vxjngressuien j w K EUi
Printer W. H. Leeds
F. A. Moore,
0. E. Wolverton
Sixth Judicial District.
Cironit Judge Stephen A. LoweTl
I'rotwmtiiia Attorney John H. Lawruj
Morrow County Officials.
Joint Senator... ... ....
Representative
I'oonty Jnlge
' Conimixaionera...
J. M. Baker.
" 'lrk
" Hheriff
" Treasurer
Ananaaor
" Bnrveyor
" School Bup't....,
" Coroner
A, W. flowan
J. 8. Boothhy
Julius Keithly
, J. H. Howard
.T. W. Morrow
..Q. W. Harrington
Frank Uilliani
J. r. Willi.
Oen. Lord
Anna llalaiirar
X.W.Ayers. Jr
heppns town ornoitRs.
Mayor Thos. Morgan
r mncilinnn O. K. Farniworth. M.
Iiichtentlial. (His Patterson, T. W. Avars, Jr.,
H. 8. Horner, K. J. Bioeum.
Reconler F. J. Hallnek
I'raurmr E. L. Frwland
.Martl... ........A. A. Huberts
Precnet Ofnere.
Jnrtios of tlis Peaca.. F. L. Fraetand
CpnsUble N. B. Whetstone
United HtatM Und Officers.
tbi DALLta. on.
J. F. Moore , 1Ur!ar
A.tt. Biggs Iteowver
LA OBARDB. OB.
B.F, Wilson IWIr
J. 11. Kuhbins... - Iteceiver
Bs:nsr bosibties.
UAWUNU POST, NO. It
0. A. R.
Meats at Leiingtoo. Or, the last ftatarday of
met month. All Tat wans are Invited In Join.
; C. Hnon, ii wo. VY. Hmitm.
Adinuuit. tf (V.inuiatnlar,
LUMBER!
-If ri RAVR FUR MALI ALL KIVTM OF CN
t V dressed Lumber, 16 mitra ol Urppuer, at
wnas is suuw n as m
FIK 1.000 FIIT, ROl'tlH, --mm
CLEAR, -
I I CO
II M
rr MUVIRgn IN HRPPHKIt, WILL ADD
L sa w nar i.vu ai'Uiunnai.
Tos atiov quotations are strictly (or Cash.
L HAMILTON, frop.
National Baal ol mwi
mn. FINLAND, KD, K. KUIIOP,
rTai4wl. CasBis.
TUSUCT1 A GENERAL BANKING BUSINESS
COLL.KCTIONS
Ma-le m favorahle Tartna.
EXCHANGE BOUGHT & SOLD
H EITHER. If ORROOS
Ontario-Burns Slaac Line
BUBHS-GHHYOK STBSEUHE
M. A. WifJAMS, l-cp
OS'TAUIO-IlUliSH
!? lit'ns Iaf1f at mm. an 4 a.
n at OoUilo la 12 tnara.
Slnqlo Fnro $7, CO,
Hound Trip $10.00
nunxs CAsros
irpr 4!'v t4f rMiM
MM tkm iwiatlt, fHeU s4 L
at Iim.
6m AiravMj&it t fiwtm ,
INS W t. W i b (-". tJh H 'VI I r m-i iu i n- I
im' -f . m n. i. l HE lAV'CA'HinE I N'StfRATE V,0.
It iIm ai. ! I f MB, ,
rewti m al M ) . ' "
t ! ..-M.ul , , .. J - f " ' .tLANI.
I l i ' ' -,... , , . i
1 . J I . OJI
A WOOL
This has beoome an established market for Eas'ern Oregon, Washington and Idaho'
wools. Last season three million pounds were received here by rail from Huntington,
Baker City, Heppner, Arlington, and from Yakima, Spokane, Lewiston, Walla Walla and
Intermediate stations.
Low freight rates are given on shipments to Pendleton for scouring and packing In
transit. Many of the leading buyers make this place headquarters, and all large opera
tors frequently visit Pendleton warehouses. As a market this place is equalled only by
The Dalles In quantity of wool which attracts competition, with this advantage :
From no point in the Northwest, Portland
included, is wool shipped East at less ex
pense than from Pendleton.
Water competition has not afforded suf-
fieiently low rates upon wool in the g rease
and dirt, to equal the lower expense in
curred by shipping only clean, scoured
wool from Pendleton.
Owing to this fact Tendleton buyers are enabled to pay as much or more for wool
at ths point than is averaged at other places having reputations as "high markets,"
based upon exceptional sales of fancy lots of light wools. Considering character of wool,
and shrinkage, It may safely be claimed that the average sales In Pendleton
Net the Grower more Cash for the same amount of '
wool than can be obtained in any other Market in i
the State.
is a
tan
NOTARY PUBLIC
a
a
n
WHITE COLLAR LINE.
ColiimWa River and Puiet Sound Navigation Co
Steamers TELEPHONE, BAILEY
Leaving Al.ler Street Dock. Portland, for
uuu i.innuoii. xirrui onnopoiion who iiwaoo eieamera and rail
road; also at Young's Bay with Seashore Railroad.
Leaves Portland 7 A. M. Daily, except Sunday. Leaves Astoria 7 P. M. Dally, except Sunday.
X3A.XXj13-X- Os-ATSBEXVr
Leaves Portland I P. M. Dally, except Sunday. Saturday night. 11 P M. Leaves Astoria Dally a
at 6:45 A. U., except Sunday and Monday. Sunday night, 7 P, M.
OCEAN WAVE
Leaves Portland and runs direct tollwspo, Tuesday and Thursday at A. M. Saturday at 1 P M
Leaves Ilaco Wednesday aud Friday at 7:30 A. M. Ou8uudaynlg1tatap.il.
Bagga Checked to Railroad DestiDatioa Both Readies Free cf Expense.
For Safety, Speed, Comfort, Pleasure, Travel on the Telephone, Bailey Qatxert and Ocean Wave.
Attorneys
All buiitHwa alleoded to it. prompt and aatiafactor
manner, Notaries Pablw and Collector!.
OFFICE IN NATIONAL BANK BUILDING.
t S i 5
T. R. HOWARD
-DEAL8 XN-
Grockries, Gents Furnishing Goods,
Stockmens SurrLiES, Etc.,
And Wants Your Trade !
IU will rotlft it to ol.ject for joa to trade with
lira m bia pricn ar right, and ail gooda tbat be
baodlra are of the rery beat
Store on Main Street, Next Door
to City Drug Store,
Heppner, - - - Oregon.
JHiAVr Do You Want a ?
rl) Don,t You WantaPt
Put
All tbfae tu be procured at Tboturianti k Dinoa, Ioer Main Street,
Heppner, Oregon.
Tfcas IwIIhim are ll l 14 llk Orant, ttarnvv . etnnt. OVlm s4 mhwmmmUm.
FrlfM la ! tM lima,
THOMPSON cfe HTNISrsS,
.-, ! C. a. Vsa tfeia. ktl aW la tlty MtL
Has everything in tho line of Fresh Groceries
Candies, Nuts, end also keeps Crockery,
Lnmps and Tinware.
HEPPNER, MORROW
-
MARKET.
CALL
AT
OtIIOJB
CONVEYANCER
GATZERT AND OCEAN WAVE.
Attoria, Ilwaoo, Long Beach, Ooeao
tit 10 w,
OREOOK
'lace to
up Your Team ?
Arc You in Need of a Saddle
Horse ?
COUNTY, OREGON;
Contagious
Blood Poison.
Mr. Frank B. Martin, who is engaged
in the jewelry business at 926 Penn
sylvania Avenue, Washington City,
where he is well and favorably known,
was a victim of that worst form of dis
ease contagious blood poison. He
realized that his life was about to be
blasted, for this terrible disease has
baffled the skill of the physicians for
ages, and they have never yet been
able to effect a cure. His mental
despair can better be imagined than
described. ,
In a recent letter he says : "About
four years ago I contracted a severe
case of contagious blood poison, and
it was not long before I was in a terri
ble condition. I immediately placed
myself under treatment of two of the
best physicians in Washington city.
Their treatment, which I took faith
fully for six months, cost me just three
hundred dollars, and left me worse than
when I began it. My condition can
Frank B. Martin.
best b appreciated, when I state that
my throat and mouth were full of sores
and my tongue was almost eaten away;
I had not taken solid food for three
months. My entire body was covered
with red blotches, my hands and feet
were sore and my hair was falling
out rapidly. I waa in a truly pitiable
condition.
"I felt that I was incurable, and
waa in great despair, when a friend
recommended 8. 8. S., stating that it
would certainly cure me. I began Hb
use, and when I had finished the fourth
bottle, I began to improve, and by the
time I had finished eighteen bottles. I
waa thoroughly rid of the disease; of
course, 1 was not sure tnat I waa cured,
but am now convinced, as no siirn
of the diseaae has ever returned for
four yeara. 8. S. 8. is the beat blood
remedy in the world, and my cure was
aue aoieiy ana atone to it.
Contagious blood poison is the most
horrible of all diseases, and has been
appropriately called the curse of man
kind. It has always bn filed the doc
tors, and. until the discovery ef 8. S. 8.,
waa incurable.
For fifty yeara 8. S. 8. has been cur-
ing thia terrible diaoaae, even after all
other treatment failed. It ia guaran
teed purely vegetable, and one thou
aand dollars reward is offered for proof
to tne contrary, n. n. . never fails
to cure contagious blood poison, or
any other disease of the blood. If
you have a blood disease, take a rem
edy which will not Injure you. Be
ware oi mercury; don't da violence
to your Byatem.
Our books on blood and akin die-
eases, will be mailed free to any ad
dress. Swift Specific Co., Atlanta, Ua.
IONIC ITKUS
BoJ Ilrney has rrovad Into and takeo
charge of tbe lone hotel.
We challenge Webfoot to prodoo
more rala than w art having ,
There was a large atlrndaoee at Bar-
day sohool and cbnrob Mrviea raster,
day.
Rala and bail was oar daily program
for tbe past week and tbe soil la well
soaked.
The grtia bee Improved woodrrfull
sod the tone seel ion will make a good
aba w Inf.
Tbe tarty aowa rye la Ibis totally la
beading oat and it growing rapidly
ataee tbe ulna.
f Pa wsioem.ker and eew blai ktatttba
eoatrmplate making a eeaUr of ae
ag oris thia samroer.
Mrs, Alio Kllr, a rmidVnl ef our
village, ia tlporlmabltog tfing In raise
eg stable oa luoe soil.
Hre. B, llaaey k oo tbe atrk list.
fttckaswi prefaitir g ia ear eolgbburboad
aasoeg a aalr uf famili.
A Toang f eo U'e Christian Kadeavor
aoeUty waa ergariit4 daring tbe wo. k
aod ill bold wskly awilegs. All ere
lniil.
Uiead brAtd! ear aboensakef, Mr
Haftdit, baa tk bia !. If rf4
tsatB a ng, and te bssiM far
Mootaoa.
isaa
Iua, Oa., Hay 4. IK4
Hr la trval a Wlfs
(fmai far I At Hmlik luvfnsl ,
FtM. gat a wif; umil, b tatiat
Toa asay have ysal trial aad rpil
lrm ia tans bnaittvM. bnl tin au.l Ihmtm
lose, earrr In yir ax mm a ellr t
OO-trartrd bsnw, loaf ail May
trial, obtrb, thnee nf leas ataaalle't
a, at ba !,,! ff be t ltr A kk
wm4. a in An kwk. will wtm in
ebaMeg f'o tr brr.w all etet nf
al.Krrn. T'i lb a nM a44 aiwaye
fca B b'la t.f Cf(Saiheflsi'S Cf
IUwity la ila hftf l te Me tvsl
d I m I it a ( t n !!
T ill It !, ti.nl .a !;
I t.mt a I .. It p- l !,
ll I ! 1 C- f A 1" k,
diBsg4A
FRIDAY, MAY 8, 1896.
PBESS COMMENT.
From The Dalles Chronicle.
Judge Bennett, the Democratic can
didate for congress, is out on a cam
paigning tour. His poiots of speaking
oover a wide expanse of territory, but
the Antelope Herald points out that Mr.
BeoDett, with bis usual good judgment,
neglected to put Antelope, the center of
a lurae stook country, oo the list. The
Mitchell Monitor oomplaiDS that Judge
Beooett has entirely ignored f rook
ootinty. The Demooratio oandidate ia
avoidiug some embarassing situations
bv refusing to visit the localities ; where
men, who three years ago were wealthy,
are now mined because of Democratic
legislation regarding wool.
Tbe Oregonian is after Thomas H.
ToDgue bsoause in a recent speech ha
deviated slightly from the ediots of tbat
ouper regarding the ooinage question,
few weeks sgo Mr Tongue was lauded
as a worthy oandidate, sound ia every
particular, and possessing brains and
ability above the average. Now the
Portland paper snvs tbe remarks of Mr.
Tongne show total misapprehension of
he monetary situation. Poor Ongoniao 1
It has fumed and worried till it hat
reached a state where it oao be pleased
y nothiDg or nobody All it seems oap
able of doing is to furnish campaign
material for tbe Democrats and do all it
can to eleot their candidates.
Hon. A. 8. Beonett, the demooratio
nominee for congressman, ia billed to
speak at variona points throughout tbe
2nd district from now until eleotion
time, but we notice that he has ooosid -
ered it out worth his while to oome to
Antelope, one nf tbe largest Drecinots in
Eastern Oregon. lo leaving Antelope
out of tbe list ot points wbiob be will
visit, Judge Bennttt has exhibited bis
nsual good judgment, for the advocates
of free trnde sod free silver (one of which
is aa bad as the other) in these parts, are
in number aomethiug similar to hen's
teeth. What the people np here want
Is a man in congress who will fight for a
sonod, honest currency, a high protect
ive tariff, and for the repeal of the ob
noxious Wilson bill. Julge Beonett,
bb nsual, will get snowed under by tbe
regular biennial storm ot republican
voters. Tbe Herald waota it understood,
however, that it is entirely opposed to
tbe financial views of Hon. W. K. Ellis,
tbe republican nominee for congress
man, but in the present case all true re-
pnblicauB oan do nothing else than give
him their hearty support. We wonld have
muob preferred a sound-money caodi
date, but rill always auppo t a free-ail-
ver republican who will vote for a high
protective turiff, ia preference to a free
silver democrat, who iaafree trider, and
therefore an enemy to the great sheep
aud wool industry of the Paoiflo eoast.
Therefore, since Hon. W. It Ellis ia tbe
regular republican nominee, we believe
it is our duty as a Una repoblioau, to
support him, and to do what we can to
luaure bit eleotion. Antelope Herald.
For every quarter ia a man's pocket
there are a doien oaea; and to as each
one lo auob a way aa to derive the great
eat bentflt is a question every ooo must
solve for himself. We believe, bowovar.
hat no better ns einilil ha mails nf n
of tbese qi srlera tbao to exobaiige It fur
a boll la of Cbsmherlain's IJolie, Cholera
and Utarrbowa Itmdy, a mediaiae that
every family aliould m proviJ! with.
ror aaie oy u mssr tlrook, droggitte.
Prasasraaa TlMaa at Heenaer.
rrore Tka DsIIps T. M.
Mr. W, K. Kabler relnrnad this morn
Ing from Ueppoer abero bo apeet the
pa t wrek looking after bis boslnesa la
tofeeta ia Morrow caaly. Mr. Kebler
reports pmeperoDS times at Heppner.
iboot all tba unltoQ ahrep lo tbat
vicliiitf Late been attorn, and a large
oomber bate bean delivered to eaalera
Imyera. Bete as o IS UXJ aod lS.OUt) ba-l
ill be started oo tba trail fur eaatrra
points Dxt Monday. Tbe nnttna boy-
ortaroootflttlnt tbir man in Ueppoer
with tearsa, wagons, provisions, oto.,
bkB pate oons'dsrahle moosy a tirca
letloa, aod Ibis tngalber wlta Ibe
amount tbat Las bea paid lit lb por
ebaae of abrep and f r ebeartog rcskra
aioney appear quia plenlifal at tbat
plaae. Aaida from Ibis etlr awing tkaap.
ea aod I He loeal aserebasU of llrp
ar, Mr. Kabler aaya I bare ie little eetiv
ilf eibibiU.1, altbiogk lbs wbsal faroi-
ere or Iny.kief for aid a praeperooe
a.m, the arpete btl l ,f bvy
rrope and fair trwia bate better tbao
II has baao for years.
not rut iwkiag nas.
hymlotns - Misiorr; tolrnao itebiiif
aod alleging; wioat at atgbli wotaa by
aetatrbtng. If allowed ti fjoliaee
laomre forat. obieb oflea bleed ad
treeaie, bnng eery tore. Kwataaa
Otatatefatope IU llrl.iag tad bleed
, bak olearaltoa, and ia aval oaaea
remwtee tt. I a mora At aroggtete, or
b mail. BOoaata. r.Nwrae fVn.
n.iU-l.lll.la,
-Prelif? St, I waaf ef kaby o
prty " dclre4 a toeng kr, -foe
I eao apeak t4 bin imperliatly, eta
koegt, Ie te ay owe, e4 Ifeal'e awe
j Ike aw! axnt-eto eo do. tie bee Wee
i 'r Wee eye, -eei to ehap kale ke
'lb ttxa ft obl; avMib-wttl. oo
' Iiii la ,!. , , o,j. f.
4ita iy fsns I it I , esaaiag f.-f
eit t,j ia f,., ka's rei le. Bit I
I ook't aaf Le e it)y.
Highest of all in Leavening Power. Latest U. S. Gov't Report
a4B50IillTEE.Y PURE
AKBDTD8.
I push with eaar handi the snow
And thatch of faded leaves aside,
And iol my gladdened eyes behold
Beauty ttself there glorified.
Beauty Itself in perfumed robes,
Of white and royal rose I see,
Deep In a cloister of the woods,
Beneath a gaunt and black-limbed tree.
"Fair flower," so I so tly croon,
"for palaces of ivory met,
So delicate thy rayment is,
Why in this cheerless, dim retreat.
'Art thou in hiding? Furry things, ,
Shy squirrels and rabbits skirling go
With quick a d startled feet across '
Thy lowly roof of leaves and snow.
"Art thou by witch-arts bound to wait
Till some strange prince with potent spell
Thy weird enchantment breaks, ana thou
Com'st a fair princess from thy cellf
"As over thee I bend to catch
Thy sweet revealing!, perlumes rare
As fairies from sweet woods distill
My senses artfully ensnare.
"I know thy subtle secret now,
And this It is, thou dainty elf:
Thou art the white and rosy witch,
Weaving for others spells thyself."
M. Phslps Dawsok,
from Demorest's Msgaxlne for May.
UPPEBKBEA CREEK.
May first.
Bain and snow.
Bee tbat yoa vote right.
Vote tbe straight republican ticket
Our school will begin next Mondav
and will be taught by Miaa Wren.
Mr. Grant Oopple is suffering with tbe
quinsy. Wo hope he will toon be better.
A bald-beaded baobelor is improving
bis cabin In order to board tbe aohool
ma'am. What makes some men in town to
ready to shako bands with everyone
they see
There it a youog man in tbese parts
wbo makea a good many trlpa to Six
Dollar canyon. ,
We have a very interesting Biblt read
ing every Sunday. Tbe subject next
Sunday It "Mercy. "
Mr. Alva and Wiley Mikesell have re
turned home from lambing. Tbey have
been working for Mr. Penland and re
port a pretty squally time.
There ie a young lady to tblt aelgb
borbnod wbo ie looking very anxiously
for oews from tbe (Jranl Oa. Eagle, or
tome other Grant oouoly bird.
Tbe weather baa been to bad aod tbe
groucd oo wet thai tbe farmers bate Dot
been able to get in tbelr erope, bat we
eeu't get too tnoob rain in Eaetera Ore-
(ton.
We bear tbat Mr. A. Rood waa In
tbese parte yesterday looking after re
publicans. I don't think be fonod aov-
thing also. Tbey grow ia tbit neighbor
bood. O. O. O.
A drowning mat would btve little ote
for a tn ft bod of resent which wonld re
quire day a, A dspeptie doesn't wast to
bol ber with a remedy that lo goieg to
take weeka to thaw lie b0eie! effete
Tho Mount Lebanon Hbakera are offW
ing a prndorH utiiof the ft a ma of Hhaker
Digaative Cordial on inn yialda Imme
diate relief. Tbe very Brat d prove
Danaooiai la axial ease; ao4 It Ie owtog
to tbHr aoboaeded eoofjdaeee ia it, ini
tbey hate pot 19 eaul tamplo bottlse
on IDs ntrkrt. I lira eao ho bad
tbrouvk any dratftet; aod II III repay
ineeixitfied m latsai iba triuiog euta
pewaaary io make a trial.
Tbe rtbekee Digealite Cordial relietee
by reeling Ibe etoaiaeb and aulitg lb
digeelioa ot fuuU.
Lsiol Ie Ibe best aa.tUaa foe thlb
drn. Iirlora reoemaiaad ll la pi see of
A Bwewiea (Iwa Has as.
frrrm thT. M.
II Ie gstiiag to bo fat bee bard pepere
ojwa at Aaloria wbea a ossa asost be
eK)si.lfed iesaae beraaeo bo beat net a
little effaufloa apoa bio awa wife. No
daabt eaeti aeiioa ie aoeoain la tU
fair eitf by Ibe aea, jolglag from tkt
aumlior of divorce raee that a pear oa
tba eeert dofket ay Clatenp oooaty,
wbtek aeabebty anrmiait ff tbe fxilow
leg item to Ibe Oedgl:
"A bard bt4 waataa reraatlt bad
acweplo areswied le aaakiog teo io
froat of aa op wladiw. Tko role
proved laair atarrlsga, aa4 Joib
AfaerrmmMe deotda-l Ikat a eaarrtod
eoeiile be-l a petfert right la Make Mi
la INr set wlaUw witk tMb I bo
aba-le aa I wladiw up. Tbe teee aae
appealed to tbe rlty aert eed lodge
Ktea ainrnie4 Ibe deetaloa of Jalge
Alieforaaible. Pbe rase will new bo tee.
rll to Ibe aaiy ewart eo4 aa oiteajpt
ill be aedo oa the laaaally tfodga, aod
tt at a4 aalikaly Iba aale wul we oeol
Ie tbe laeeeo eeilora, fir la late aatry
ao eaoe asaei wae er rttgkl eprktr
bit owe wife."
ll ItTH ilH twttf tf
t I hiis- I .l eer irf I a e,."i"09
j .. !'-".. C -I i a I 'ay
e'4 - l-s is et i i, i 4e I ,f
l4b want A Mafia.
WET5TTTV rid abqi
SEMI-WEEKLY NO 438 i
dm
BITS OF FUN.
Brush away the oobweba straying
Lightly through the balmy air;
Let the oarpets nil bs swaying
On tbe line and thumped with care.
With a towel for a turban,
Up the ladder see ber elimb;
For in homes remote and urban
Itla now honse-oleaning time.
Io this hour of renovation
Mies Columbia should not pause
O'er the musty legislation
Waiting to be turned to laws.
Often have ber thrift aod bustle
Been the wonder of each dime.
Good Columbia, prithee hustle;
. , It ia now house-cleaning time.
Washington Star.
Not Literal. Teober-If a
boy
what
smites you on tbe right obeek.
should you do?
Dick Hiokt Give it to him with
ma
left.-Puck.
Head of Firm -What time does that
funeral you want to go to thit afternoon
take plaoe?
Clerk It it called at 8:30, slr.-Life.
Bobber Oome, shell out!
Rural minister (sadly) If I had snob
energetic fellows as you to pass the plate
now ana men I might have something
to give yoa. Tid-Bitt.
Boy Do yoa want a boy here?
Mao-Yet.
Boy-Wbatkind?
A rice boy tbat doesn't swear or lay
naughty words or tmoke cigarettes or
play tricks or get into mischief or
Boy Tbat't enough, mister; I guest
U'e a girl yoa want Qood-bv. New
York Bun.
"Joseph," said tbe merchant to tba
bright young man with the beat of refer
e icee, "the book-keeper tells me tbat
yoa bave lost tbe key of tbe tafe, and bo
oannnt get at tbe books."
"Yet, eir, ooo of tbem. Yon gave ma
two, yon remember."
"Yes; I had duplioatet made in
oase
waa
oftonident. And the other f"
"Ob, sir, I took oare of that, I
afraid I might lose one of them,
koowf
yoa
"And is tbe other all right?"
"Yea, sir. I put It where there waa
oo danger of its being lost. It It In tba
safe, air."
A lady waa onee larteeting tba ill-
lack wbirb attended ber affaire, wbea a
friend, wishing lo ooeaolo bar, bide ber
'look upon Ibe bright aide."
Oh," tbe tighed, "there seams to bo
oo bright side."
"Thee lieh np tbe dark out," waa
ibe quick reply.
I)ISKA8rl OP THE SKI.
The IniitMo lulling and smarting Ind
dVnl to ewsis, latter, salt-rheum, and Mhf
diw'aare of the akin lis Instantly allayed by
applying CbsajbriUia e fcrt and Kkin
Ointment. Many vrry bad caw hare Ua
pFrwianrtttly ruini by tL It is equally
nVirnl fr Ib hltig il and a favnrila rrm
ady tut are nippis; rlii. bamls, chil
hlains, frtni sifl rhrmie are eya.
Kor sale by drugMi at Si emu pr boa.
Try Pr. MjH Ceadlllea Pewden, tky
ar juM hsl a horse iw-U bta ia bad eond
ttuo. T'Xim, llwd puriUr and ttrnifuge.
For tale by Oooeer k Uroek, dreggbte
Mall Tartar's Jake
IWa U O
Matt Taylor of Pendleloa, who boeata
a larte mont ef av.lfdnpa, wsel aver
to Uoloo iNtoaly a fw dayt tet, eaJ re
torted Toeaday evening with eeveral
b iee of etgare, a talis A4 air end a
aotipl of g'. ,a let esoea. It ismdi
tbat Mr. Taylr, wbo apprerlatse a gl
jok. wae asked ever there If k was Iba
asao raaalng agaiast Gla Rsley ft
j tin! senator end be replied "yea." lot.
avedieUly be wae lb elrf atlrartita
and pl.lgaa weio atad li Ia Oreada
aal I'ataa oa the JnUkiO) qaaelto
bteh I agilalleg Ibe eipl there, Jlta
tUy wet t-onMared wllb wine eer-paee
e1 be lit l oa lb fal of lb I aod. Peo
j t U br wit) ee a fa pnfal to Ibe J -k.
loann ae Mail leikr welbe abal
eel T j C. Tf It. Ibe reaj
I aea, llpe tbo aeale at ehaqt IV).
1 Twt I 4T - rttve ii afrjirt
eerne,!y It f t'nti' ft k Is-w'v a0
vk 4 lsr t e b v tews S est
fnmt' t vX V " fRis a n I
c4 0 1 p f ISH I f-.Vt M o-y dv -
w4 r K-"t l-rt I ii v -it i'rl
'iit (-' spvl ', U '.- e
Ik I r . g r I !
ii.ii i) ' I ' " ' ' ! ' ' '.
t. A. f.i . H f IlifalH.l..
f-m t I 4 I . .-.r- a
aa 1 w warn a Ma ae m a
c