gtMa mi 1 1 miii mii mi iMiiiMMia.t.tni nxNtmum
OFFICIAL sfJV PAPER
a
IMHIIIltMlll1ttftftl)M
MY SUCCESS
- Is owing to my liberality in ad-i
vertis;ng Robert Bonner.
wS)Sje)S)aj0
mi i Hi I n i niiuiiMia Minus
I FREQUENT AND CONSTANT
Advertising brought me all I
own, A. T. Stewart.
i
FOURTEENTH YEAR
SEMI WEEKLY GAZETTE.
PUBLISHED
Tuesdays and Fridays
HY ,
TOE PATTERSON PUBLISHING COMPANY.
OTIS
.A. W.
PATTERSON,
PATTERSON.
- .. - Editor
Business Manager
At $2.!S0 per year, $1.23 (or bix months, 75 ets.
iur luree moacna.
Advertising Rates Made Known on
Application.
THIB PAPER is kept on tile at E. C. Duke's
Advertising Agency, fit and 65 Murohants
Exchangs, San Francisco, California, where oou-
racra tor aaverusing can be made for it.
0. R. & N. local card.
Train leaves Ileppner 10:30 p. m. dully, except
"""""j' auiYcou.wnju, uuuy. except Mon
day. West bound passenger leaves Willows Junc
tion 1:13 a. m.; east bound 3:30 a. m.
Freight trains leave Willows Junction Kolni?
east at 7:26 p. m. and 8:17 a. m.; going west, 4:30
p. m. and 5.56 a. m.
rutted States Officials. ,
J'tesident.. ..Grover Cleveland
Vice-President Ad ai Stevenson
Secretary of State , Richard 8. Olney
liecretary of Treasury Jhn G. Carlisle
Secretary of Interior Hoke Smith
Secretary of War.... Dmiel S.Iniont
Heorefary of Navy. Hilary A. Herbert
Postinsster-tteneral William L. Wison
Attornev-ttoneral Judson Harmon
becretaryo' Agriculture J.Sterling Morton
State ol Oregon.
Governor. W. P. Lord
Heoretary ot State H. It. Kincald
Treasnrer ..Phil. Motsohan
Hnpt. Pubho Instruction . M. Irwin
Attorney General o. M. Idleman
Senators i W. McBride
J. H. Mitchell
Congressmen w "6 VlTa malin
Printer .'.W. rll'Leeds
(Tl. 8. n-n,
loprnme Judgae . I F. A. Moore,
(0. E. Wolverton
Sixth Judicial District.
Cironit Judge Stephen A. Lowell
Prosecuting Attornoy John H. Lawrey
Morrow Count, Officials.
lolnt Senator A. W. Rowan
Representative J. H. Ikmthhy
'flnntyjadge Julius Keithli
Coram iwionnm J.H. Howard
J. M. Bator.
" Crk .T.W.Morrow
' Sheriff G. W. HamngtoD
Treasurer Frank Gilliam
' Assessor J. f. Willis
" Surveyor.- Geo. Lord
" School Sup't Anna Halsignr
t kroner T. W. Ayera, J r
BKPPNEB TOWK OmCKRM.
Vayoi Thou. Morgan
Cniinrilmnn O. E. Karnsworth. M.
Lichtenthal. Otis Patterson, T. W.Aysrs.Jr.,
8. 8. Horner, E. J. Slooum.
Recorder F. J. Hallnck
rraaenrar E. L. Frwland
Marshal A. A. Hubert
Precinct Officer,
Justice of the Pesos E. L. Fmeland
Constable N. B. Whetstone
I'alted States Land OlHcars.
TBI DALLM. OB.
J. F. Moor....... .'. ltMriater
A.. 8. Biggs HaoMver
LA OBAHDC. CI.
B.F. Wilson Renter
J.H. Kobbius Keoaiver
BSSZT BOCZSTXJES.
llAWLIXri POST, NO. IL
Q. A. R.
Masts at Leiington. Or., the last Baltmlay of
t mrmut. AU veUran are Invitwl to Join,
I," C Bonn. (Jau. W. Km
Aillutant, tf Counnamb.
L U M B E II !
WR HAVK FOR HALE ALL KIN PR OF CS
dresaed Lumber, M miles of Hspposr, at
what ts knows as the
BOOTT HAWMIIjIj.
FEE 1,000 FEET, KOUUH,
" " CLEAR,
f t 00
17 M
F nrUVKRRU II HIFPNEE, WILL ADD
paw i,wu net, snaiuonai.
The above quotations are strictly for Cub.
L HAMILTON, Prop.
national EaQK of flewr.
W. I'ENLAN), ED. H. BMHOP.
TRANSACTS 1 GLMR.IL BANKING BUSINESS
colliccttions
lll 00 FatorabU Terms.
EXCHANGE IMJUGHT 4 SOLI)
HErrxEn. a oheoos
Ontario-Hurns Staac line
BDBwisTiBEUSE
H. A. WiUlAMS, P ep
o.tm;io.iiuils
LtM Dama iHtly at tt p. m. a-'
rltet at UUra a boar.
Sinalo Faro $7.00.
Hound Trip $10.00
sTw""Tkfti"i trtSI T mIs ft prntmi.
nunxs c.i.vro.v
mfll H l p..t NuxawHltofl
it!,., I..vn f1t
Ilk lt llnUilHv lfi,l ! an.
nm b la
I" r tl w.iy I
i
otWAKt IN TIME.The first acute twinge of
JACOBS OIL. JSTSVLSS
The CITY BAKERY
Is now open with freab Bread, Pies, Cakes, eto., constantly on hand.
Weddug Cakes or Pastery for spoial dinners baked to
order. Also carries a line of well-selected Qrooeries.
Candies, Nuts, Cigars, Tobacco, etc.
TWO LUNCH TABLES
Will be kept for the aooommodation of tbe trade. Country People
Btopping temporarily in town, oan get what they want
very cheaply at tbe OITY BAKJ3RY
The Patronage of the People of
OTTO FRIEDRICH,
Old BaKery Stand, HEPPNER, ORE.
A WOOL
This has become an established market for Eastern Oregon, Washington and Idaho
e,1'0n thre mll"on poand' were ree'vel here by rail from Huntington,
Baker City, Heppner, Arlington, and from Yakima, Bpokane, Lewiston, Walla Walla and
Intermediate stations.
Low freight rates are given on shipments to Pendleton for scouring and packing In
UansiL Many of the leading buyer, make this place headquarters, and all lage opera"
S! '?l"e,:tly-Vi" PWleton warehouses. A. a market this place i. equalled only by
The Dalles In quantity of wool which attracts competition, with this advantage :
from no point in the Northwest, Portland
included, is wool shipped East at less ex
pense than from Pendleton.
Water competition has not afforded suf
ficiently low rates upon wool in the grease
and dirt, to equal the lower expense in
curred by shipping only clean, scoured
wool from Pendleton. .
. ? .'J'1" T rcnd,l'ton bl",r ,re MM to PT much or mors for wool
at this point than is orip at other places having reputations as "high markets "
based upon exceptional sales of fancy lot. of light wools. Considering character of woo'l
and shrinkage, it may safely ba claimed that the om sale, in Pendleton
Net the Grower more Cash for the same amount of
wool than can be obtained in any other Market in
the State.
A ft AflfAri NOTARY PUBLIC
UllllMJII OONVFVANPCQ
tl
WHITE COLLAR LINE.
Columbia River and Puoret Sound Navication C
Skmm TEETUOXE, BAILEY
Lat iot Al,l.r Rtrwt LXck. Portlsnd, for Astoria, H..00, Loo B,.cb. Ooeaa
Park tod Nahcoti Lh0, ooonwtioo with ilw.c -aef. and r'.IU
ro4 j also at Yoang'o Bay with Pea. bora H.iiroad.
Uart Portland 7 A. if.
Uavta Portland I F M lilr Hi.M.y. a.u.M.y ftlfh, P M ,lr A .
t . A. M., str(H Sunday and Monday. Kuuday Bight, If, H. 1
Imvm Portland atwj runadlnrt to la,. Tuday and ThurUat A M
H .d Friday at 1 m A. . On aJtl.y nT.n, iL1 1 P'
CtfiifJ lo Kiibii Driiiwtios Bull fwht Frrt tf Etpes
Fo lty, pd, VvmUm, Pl,, Tr.rrl OB th T.l-j.hone, fuiUy .Uert and ()..,, Wa,
Attorneys
All bnio alWaiUd to It. rump and aattufaalorv
KtaHHi Fablie and Cullirtursj,
vrrivr. IX NATIONAL
nr.rrrtrn,
1 t t
T. R. HOWARD
DKALH
CiROCKKIKS, Gr.NTS
OTOCKMKNS
And Wants
II itmU tl a l jrrt f.r jrou U IraJn iib
biw a Lia l-rlra r right, an.! nil gmI u ,
kt)(J!Ni rs) if , r.f !,(.
HEPPNER, MORROW COUNTY, OREGON, FRIDAY, MAY 1, 1896.
Heppner is Respectfully Solicited.
MARKET.
CALL
AT
OI'l'ICH
GATZERT AM OCEIN WAVE,
TaaxsjaxMoxo-jsi
Dally, tiepi Bunday. Us. Astoria T F. M, Dsllr. r.i. aHluu.
nt
BANK
BCILDINO.
!
onEoo
IN
FURNISHING G
OODS,
SuiTi.n:sf Hie,
Your Trade
I
From the Pendleton Tribune.
Many rppnblioans and republican pa
pers evidcuoe siaos of clissutistaotion
with the outoome of tbe reoent state and
eoDgresBional conventions, and tbe Trib.
tine frankly admits that it feeli keenly
its disappointment over the renomina
nou 01 uongressniftn iuiiis as well as
over the narrow eaoiipe from defeat of
Mr. Taylor, candidate for joiut sen
ator, despite tbe faot thnt the Dmatilla
delegation was instructed to use every
honorable means to seoare his nomina
tion. The Tribune bad good reason to
believe that Mr. Ellis was not the choice
of the republicans of this oonnty, and
had every reason to believe that Mr
Taylor was tbe unanimous ohoioe ol the
republicans of this county for joint sen
ator when they instructed their state del
egates to vote for bim as one men.
There is an old saying that it doea not
do to always tell the truth and for this
reason it may be just as well to leave un
told gome thiDgs that occurred at the
state convention.
While Eastern Oregon is not entirely
free from the evil influences of the polit
ical boss, Portland is dominated bv the
worst sirt of bnlldozing bosses in forty,
four states. Portland for years has suf
fered from boss rale and there does not i
seem to be any prospeot ot immediate
relief from the fraudulent methods of the
maohine in that oity. But tun repub
lican bosses of Portland cauuot destroy
tne repnblior n party in thia state.
J-ioyal republicans all over the state
will support the ticket named at Port
land and in the various oouuties of the
elate, and th mgh fraudulent enrollment
packing nf primaries with dnmonraU
high-handed and desperate methods may
have employed iu some instances, put
ting it bevond the power of repnplican
voters to express their will in the usual
manner, the regular republican tioket
should and will ba supported, as nothing
oau be gained by t oliiiifr, and no bolter
nor no independent 0 odidate should re
oeive the support of any republican
voter, nor oan any independent oandi
date in any county or congressional dis
trict be eleoted.
The Tribune has already expressed it
dissatisfaction with ceiluin methods that
have been employed wbioh seemed to it
to have ben intended to prevent real re
publicans from making their will known
inrougn tbe channels which In other
states are left free and nntraniroellcd
bat now that thu nominations have been
made, there ia but 0 m thing left for re
puuucans 10 110 and tbut is to support
the ticket from top to bottom.
Democrats and popnliwts every where,
knowing that iipith r Btoiid any chance
for soocess so long as the tariff was the
main issue am aiming to f'lioe tbe nion
ey question before the country as the
one great issue ai d no well have they
agitated the mutter that many retuh
licans have aotoslly bu led to brliev
that thers is really something io if.
But the plain people who tttli be
their votes all th great qneaticmn nf tu
day, lake s very different flew f the
situation, as m m ind in their per
sonal preference so widely uprenaed for
Mcliitilry, dim to tln-lr iileiitif.dal.iio of
bim with s tariff tinder bi i Ubor and
business et j iyed (lis bigbttat prosperity.
With s Ui iff which defeuda home indus
try and siciins prosperity the moiiei
ques Ion wurttd at once bei-oms a dead
issue. Tii tarifl ml of WM was il,
irk of any one nun. Hot its enemies
faetened La nans i.f UcKiulay 00 it,
sod Ids per pis Ibroiighout ths oountry
bv ctii Id ssweiats bis Dams with
lbs principles which mo red fur litem
ths highest pf(.S(i..fily ,.y bats ever
kauw d.
W eannot sffrd to ullnw nnr demo
cralio md.I popii.ij fr(,, ,
to bolt tbs nominal Kins of th rej.ul -lieaa
party Ufau-s i.f lbs pn (nrenna of
Bomtniws for gold or iirr. It makes
but lulls diffrtrenes to us whether they
are g. .1.11, ns or sdver-liinallrs so long
ss thsy may b dpetidet sipon to stand
Solidly f.ir tbs priiioiples lhal elpertai.es
s has us saensrages tUm rtetelopnt'Sl
of Ihs ind'islfial luUreata of ths wbnla
ontry, and IliU Is what protiding isv.
snna lor lbs snport nf ll, general frit
etitltiebt I7 defies ss Imporfa di sa.
All Heeastssessl It
Ak your pbysirlas. or drrifslat and
-nr friroits aH-mt Ht.ibib's V,nt fie
1.0- imilfin Tbef will feM.ni ,!
II. rf sal. by We Us A Warren
IU J my sitigir f distqrb toi tester.
datfssid lbs untlral tantt womas.
Wersioa slssifitf skl tl.s ir--
lit boarder.
"Why, i.f rtif. iHlo't jnq rr
)!"
"I UVis it was )-nt tiam bd, bst
llfiwgLl t .. ae-ril a a,noa."
Wssl.lrginn rtiar.
H TTfl rr-r-v kir.''.L. I was s let 1 sis Hd.H
I I V trJsir.z.Wr; 1 i- r ..k.d iu s.isl
n t if-riarjsJI '-rtel..Mi...s,.ti.i,-i.usid
ssVsk) m mm " ' " i i i "r I ' N estd !. m.m i lis
aaw '.TV I
ur "niri"ii , . .i
Mrs. Dnnlway on ' Man
Bless em! They share our joys, they
double oar sorrows, they triple our ex
penses, tbey quadruple our cares, they
uuc magnanimity, tney inorease
onr self respect, awaken our affection,
oontrol onr property, nnd out manouver
ua in everything. This wonld be
dreary orld without tbem. In fact, I
may say, without prospeot of snoocess-
ful contradiction, and without tbem this
wouldn't be much of a world anyhow.
We love them and the.dear things oan't
help it. We oontrol them and the preci
ous fellows don't know it. As husbands
tbey are convenient, though not always
on band; as beaux, they are by no means
matchless. They are most agreeable as
visitors, handy -at state affairs, and inde-
spensible at oyster saloons; splended
escorts for some other fellow's wife or
sister, and as friends they are better
tb flu women. As our fathers, tbey are
inexpensively grand. A mao may be a
failure in business, a wreck in constitu
tion, not much to boast of as a beauty,
nothing as a wit, lees than nothicg as a
legislator for woman's rights and not
very brilliant as a member of tbe press;
but if our Heavenly Father will over,
look his Bhortoomings we oan cover bis
pkoadillos with divine mantle of our
oharity. Then as our husbands, how ws
do love to parade them as our paragons!
in the language of the poet,"
We'll lie for Vm,
We'll cry for em,
And if we oould, we'd fly for 'em
We'd do anything but die fo.- 'em.
, Piles! Piles! Itching Plies,
bymptoms Moisture; intense ltohing
and stinging; most at night; worse by
scratching. If allowed to continue
tumors form, wbioh often bleed and
ulcerate, becoming very sore. Swaynk s
Ointmknt stops the itobing and bleed
ing, heals ulceration, and in most oases
removes the tnmors, At druggists, or
by mail, for 60 oeots. Dr.Swayus Son,
Philadelphia,
Pendleton's Moral Wave.
From The Dalle. Chronicle,
Pendleton ladies of the W. C. T. U.
are urging a movement to abolish bouses
of ill fame in their midst. A petition
was presented to tbe council oontninlng
400 names, as follows:
"To tbs honorable mayor and common
oounciloftbe oity of Pendleton: We,
tbe undersigned, oitistans of oity of Pen
dleton, respectively ssk your bonorabls
body to adopt suoh measures as may be
necfsiary to prevent any person or per
sons from opening, setting np or keeping
or maintaining within tbs limits of ths
city of Pendleton sny bawdy bouse, sod
to suppress and prohibit tbs keeping or
maintaining of any and all bawdy bouses
within tbs limits of said oity.
"We would respectively represent thai
such btuses ss tbess now exist In our
oity srs detramental to ths morals of tbs
people of said oily, snd particularly of
ths children nf ths city, and srs a men
acs to Ihs pesos and quiet of lbs city.
And your petitioners as in duly t-ound
ill ever pray."
Might not ths Pendleton ladies U In.
jtring tbs earns of morality by tl eir
solioo, raiber than aiding U? Lustful
snd unprincipled men, driven from their
aoeosbimed fields, ars apt to invads ths
homes of resprolal.ility and accomplish
mors dtplorsbls ruin than eil.ls nndsr
tbs present conditions. Csoss rslhrr
than effect Is ths pronsr obi -el nf in
quiry sod reform.
Ksrl's lover Ksnt Tea
Is a srrs ours f.ir Headache and nervous
diseases Nothing relieves SO oolcklv.
t ssls by Walls Warren.
Iks Irtahasas's View.
An Iritbmsn, who was Bssr slgbtsi,
and was atwut to fight dost, iosisled
that b shoold sisnd six paoes nesrsr
to Lis aiilsg tbial tbsn tbs IstUr did to
biin.snd I hey wets both to firs al lbs
sams tins. This bests rlhsrrldsa's tsll
ing about a fst man who was goiat to
fls-bt a thin ons, thai tbs I. tier's slim
flftirs oof ht to U chalked oa lbs
other's ptly pers.o, snd if lbs ballet
bit bim (inlaid
lbs lios II wss lo
o
for B 'll.lng.
7 as Ills mt Wastes.
Constipation, esQaee mors than half
tbs Ills nf wou.rn. Ksrl's I'lovee iLwil.
Tea Is a pleasant rnrw for Oiestipsliiti,
rurssis uy wsiis v arrea.
If a girl Is fiB to marry a aasn a ho
ms s boras or a 4'i sbs ess, by ib
sartaltiio, lorat a pretty good Mrs uf txw
sbs will be treated Li fa.
Ib,Miy-May, ntnai, s lbs Uhy
seal d iss lf m besa
Usui as Why, yes.
IU bby-L'sa! They l.kes Is bats It
qslet Bp Iters, d-Nifi'l tbef 7-rab.
Vt kal arre ya im ssrlhT' sjesrWd
Peter, ss II s aheelmsa katskd si
Y"W ee slsaya t.,t.g ,e as. asl
! '
:
Highest of all in Leavening
wtv ))rr
II
AU&QMMTEMX PURE
o roBUO liXERoisBs.-Rawlins Post.
O. A. R., of Lexington, baa deoided not
to have any publio exercise on Deolara
tion Day, but will appropriately observe
tbe event with fitting tributes to the
memory of those who braved shot and
shell, aiokness and disease, thBt this
grand country should have naught but
ireeamen, that tbe prinoiple of a union
of people, inseparable forever, should be
clearly deflued for the protection of tbe
repnoiic throughout all time. At
reoent meeting the following committee
was appointed on deooration of graves
Mr. J. L. Hill, Hon. J. 8. Boothby, Mrs.
J. L. Hill, Lexington ; Mr. J. 0. Ball,
Mr. A. J. Stephenson and Mrs. N. A
a.., neipoer. ah members of the
U. A. K. and W. R. 0. are requested to
be present.
Deafness Cannot be Cured
iocbi applications as they cannot
-buu mo uiseaspd nnrfmn tk .
There is only one way to oars deafness,
and that Is by constitutional remedies.
Deafnees is oaused by an inflamed con
dition of the mucous lining of tbe Eus
tachian tube. When thin t,,K. .-
11 , . "uuu .n ni
named you have a rumblina sonnil ne
imperfect hearintr. and whan if 1.
tirely closed, deafness is the result, and
unless this inflammation oan be taken
out and tfeis tube restored to its normal
oonditnn, hearing will be destroyed for
ever; nine oases out of ten are oaused
by catarrh, which ia nnthino ht n i
flamed condition of tbs mnoons surfaces
Ws givs Ons Hundred Dollars for sny
oaee of deafness foanaed hv nAi.rrhi h.
cannot be cured by Hall's Catarrh Curs.
Send for riroulars; free.
a u u F Jl Cu"1 CO., Toledo, 0.
Sold by druggists, 760.
LtAoca Mattbbs The young peopls
of ths Epwortb Lesgue, of ths M. E
ohurob, Boutb, gave a social at tba resi
dence of the pastor, C. R. Howard. 00
last Wsdnesdsy evening, only members
and Ibeir friends being present. Tbs
event wss an snjoyabls ons and adds
great credit to tbs history of His league.
- vtni .iuou oi tuis society tor
soms time past bas been inaotive, but
nudar tbs supervision of tbs present
third vioe presideut this work bss been
revised snd mads one of the pleasing
and profitable features ot tbe lesgue
work. A large number were in atlend
aooe and seemed lo enjoy themselves in
the fullest sense of tbe word. Refresh
meots were served by tbs ladies to whom
great orsdit is due.
How Is Treat s Wire,
(rrom rarlflc llrallh Journal )
First, get a wife; second, be patient.
Yon way have great trials snd perplexi
ties iu your business, bat do not there
fore, osrry to your boms a cloudy or
contracted brow. Tour wits may bavs
trials, wbirn, though of leas magnitude,
may be hard for ber lo hesr. A kind
word, a tender look, will do wonders In
ohssing from ber brow sll rlnads of
gloom. To this ws would sdd slwsys
keepabotlls of Cbsroberlain's Congb
Remedy in tbs bunas It is the best
sod Is lirs lo b needed Sooner or later ,
Your wife then know lhal yon really
esrs far her and wish to nroieet bar
beslib. For ssls by Conssr it Brook,
drnggists.
IhuBH or TSAUB If isrisnt. Ileppi.er's
txrd of Irsds met al tbe eoonril ebsm
bsrsTofstlsy evening IssL Minnies of
Is! regnlsr meelisg resd and approved.
(srsr Minor wss called anon end slated
ths object of ibs nsstlag. frsnk Me
Kar land slated that I hers was Bothlng
in tbs way of lbs immediate opening (he
roa-I as ths tirns was past for filisg of
Ihs spers by I boss contesting U,s
antina of appraisers for dsmsgss, sad
tbsl they nnsl now senepl tbs amoobl
''I'd. All Ibs old offlssrs of nrgsnl.
tattoo wars eleeUd by ssslamsttoa. K.
(I. flurry was slerU.) vms president
tf. Mln was sh'HMa lo go to Canyon
City and to ba.k after the aoMpUltos) of
baainess. rWrslsry aad (Tseideat Wsrs
laalrselsj U siga Iwads of 15flfl t-t
psymsal of dsmsgss ssassd by oiling
I'snieb crsk fosd. Tbs preai.lesl ap
poiolsj Ibs following oonatiils: Oa
rsilrats ad trsne;iortsliia, H, f.
Ifynd, frssk Mrparlssd aad K. I. Hi
ons. AiJ-iara4.
Tbs sa alio ssls bersass It Is
tMttf'y Ihss far, tit a Isvsl atMfci tbs
lls. Tbs aasn abe siips ssilt.g Us
BVStiev.l bis hneger Is SI psa. bs
! smhi msa. Msls's snd ni snors fx.l
lliSl Sbs Sslls f, (Wliseew SI.ess
hf(e SUwtt tn.llsalkH. nf 4SsSs,
lib st of Deab. sUeliglh, s'seo, sssM
In and snesia) power ss4 sa hsiss
laln .f ssbes, psisee Slid Many daw.
gef.ss .l roals-lles.
Tbs s. saw 4 a4bii.g
!" t e wH Sff-esl Sofas Hi
"''' l i sealed w.M, M- k
rftseat lt,.r f. ls TT,at Is t-i ear,
ts fl.asef igitirs (.l.
Ib srl.- ia .fi4S4 sl i WmI Tks
f WEEKLY fJO 6P8I
SEMI-WEEKLY WO 4361
Power. Latest U. S. Gov't Report
BITS OF FUN.
What makes her proud? Upon her hat
Are feathers, bows, and oomplex ourla
Aod what is more important still,
The eyes of all the other girls.'
Detroit Tribune,
Mr. Winks (looking over the paper)-
Cheap Drugg St, Co. are selling all sorts of
patent medicines at half prioe.
Mrs. Winks-Just our luck. There
isn't anything the matter with any of
us. London Tid-Bits.
'Dootor," said the anxious mother.
Willie oan hardly speak above a whia
per." "Indeed T" Has he taken oold, or did
he go to the ball game?"-Washington
Star.
Lawyer-I now offer in evidenoo a
photograph of the broken heart of tbe
plaintiff, taken by the Roentgen pro
oess. Judge Admitted.
"Exhibit X."-Puok.
Let it be marked
Wise mother Be oareful not to allow
the children to annoy their father at the
breakfast this morning.
Nurse "Yes ma'am."
Wise mother His baseball olub lost
yesterday, you know.-Pbiladelnhia
American.
Weary Walker-Say, were von over
tarred and feathered ?
Johnny Restful Yes, onoe.
Weary Walker-How did you feel!
Johnny Restful-Like a bird.-Hae.
vard Lampoon.
She I thought you told me your sal
ary was '25 a week?
He-Ob, no; I said I earned 125. but I
only get SS.-Amosing Journal.
Now the youth aod winsome maid
In quest of flowers o'er bill aod glade
Will go a gloHning,
While tbe wife in dowdy gown
Will turn tbs household upside down
In endless cleaning,
Washington News.
AMSIALMJIT.o.
Oysters live ten to twelve years when
tbey have the chance. Io Ibis country
they don't have tbe obance.
A dog fancier in New Usvsa is the
Owner of a black-an.l.l an .I.,.. .I.i.k
" WUIUU
weighs not an ounce mors than a pound
and a half.
i'bs Isrgs horsed lieells esn osrry 315
limes lis own weight. Due bas been
known to w.lk away with a pound
eight
A ben belonging to Joseph Bisboo on
Licking river, near I'lesssnt Valley. Kf ..
discovered a largs bird's best ia ths top
of so appls Ires, and flew np aod depoe
iid a,a rgg in the erst.
The eye of tbe eat, like tbsl ( lbs
borss, Is provided with a falsa cvslid
bleb may bw movsd Independently of
ths ooter or trus lid. It Is often em
ployed by a cat bsa obligsd to fsce a
my bright light, end la Sieved to art
as a sbsds.
Live bses ars sometime shippsd on
lee so as lo keep Ibem dormsal daring
tbs Journey. This is psrtioulsfty tba
es wltb bnmhlebewa, wbieb bsvs ha
taken to New Ks!snd, where I bey are
ns-fol in fertihsiog lbs led elovsr that
bss haws lotrndarM.1 iolo Ibs eoloay.
DloitAHrJIor TMRIKtX
TttS InletiM lulling ami uudin. In. I.
AmtA IO ftrnis. Irtlrr. salt-rlieuM. and otl.rs
traarsoflhe skin U InaUmlr ailavxl t
stflvliig (l.anUtlains Irs sad hkua
Oo.lln l.L JdaSf Vert lwi CMS Lata baa
rwribanriillr rured I f it. It ks s.tua!!
b. i.tt for Ik hint MUs and S favorite Fm.
S-ly f..r aora Mi-vU; r Us d bamla, thil.
I'laina, Ifm. Inb-a. anJ t hrinu! aim k
lor sals by duiMs at Si tsats t boi.
Try fr. fadi! r4UWa I'swdrr the
sr a I, si ras k-Usl in bad osvli-
bim, l'e, Ul jmitto r and tertotugs.
Tut sals If IWecf A l'rork, dtasaisls
bRAIS0rt.0l.tt.
Tbers ars ia bssieess tbrss things
asrMsfykiio,gs, leavpsr sad lisse.
-Nlthsai.
Iks ar 4wa rbildbnv.rs sbk lha
(bias Is bks lbs tlesdri'p o u,a ns,
bea at it lbs swmr ltss svsses by
snd lb bush, Ibs rUssr Is dry,
-Hott.
lsrs s). pears lo gd bsir wbils
bs sesesfw an I tlf is bat ssssrs
lss Ibs a e gl,l, as m ) Is ptw
Sd fr-ta ji IgssMt, a4 frwsa ftmmbm.
Ywaag.
Isir.i..ly is aa eilraordisss
SraCS! Stork on Maim Stkkkt. Ni:xt Door 8 f H
I f'sLW.g.rtttr.r.44LSSrll.sVw taik bt.s lis fl ,f t-! .-Ik Ic.iu
.li-I.