twtwt im i in i mhi nil ifit 1 11 u in 1 1 i 1 1 int vtm wm
The persistent wooing lover i
Is the one who gets the maid ;
I And the constant advertiser
I Gets the cream'of all the trade. I
OFFICIAL
PAPER
llllMlllilllllllllllllllllllltilillllMltllllMlnim,!,
: .
i The man who tries to advertise 1
With printer's ink consistent,
I One word must learn nor from jt turn,
i And that one word's persistent I
f
i i
BUll KIM l i ft frrVHllll'M M I'M UMIIMI Ml III WMMIililft
lit HI IIM'M M M I Mil 1 1 1 1 M 1 1 1 1 lil 1 1 HI I l II I III S
TWELFTH YEAR
HEPPNER, MORROW COUNTY, OREGON, FRIDAY. JANUARY 4, 1891.
i WEEKLY NO. 617. 1
l SEMI-WEEKLY NO. 288. 1
SEMI WEEKLY GAZETTE.
Tuesdays and Fridays
BY
THE PATTERSON PUBLISHING COMPANY.
At 1150 per year, $1.26 for six months, 75 ots.
for three moncn.
Advertising Rates Made Known on
Appiication.
The "EAG-LE," of Long Creek, Grant
County, Oregon, is published by the same com
pany every Friday morning. Subscription
Srioe, !2 per year. For advertising rates, address
&XT X. PATTEBSOIT, Kdftor and
Manager, Long Greek, Oregon, or "Gazette,"
Heppner, Oregon.
THIH FAPKR is kept on file at E. C. Dake's
Advertising Agency, M and 65 Merchants
Rxohangs, San Francisco, California, where cou
raote for advertisum oan be made for it.
Union Pacfic Railway-Local card.
No, 10, mixed leaves Heppner 9:45 p. m. daily
except Sunday
10, " ar. at Willows Jo. p.m.
9, " leaves " a. m.
9, " ar. at Heppner 5:00 a. m. daily
exoept Monday.
East bound, main line ar, at Arlington 1 :36 a. m.
West " " "leaves " 1:28a. m.
West bound local freight leaves Arlington 8:35
a. m,, arrives at The Dalies 1:15 p. m. Local
passenger leaves The Dalles at 2 :00 p. m. arrives
at Portland at 7:00 p. m.
OFFICIAL 3DXKECTOia-Z-
TJnlted States Officials.
President Qrover Cleveland
Vice-President Adlai Stevenson
Secretary of Htate Walter Q. GreRham
Secretary of Treasury John G. Carlisle
Secretary of Interior Hoke Smith
Heoretary of War Daniel S. Lam on t
Secretary of Navy Hilary A. Herbert
Postuaster-Generai Wilson S. Bissell
Attorney-General Richard S. Olney
Beoretary of Agrioulture J. Sterling Morton
State of Oregon.
Governor S. Pennoyer
Secretary of State G. W. McHnde
Treasurer Phil. MetBnhan
Bapt. Public Instruction E. B. MoElroy
u.- i J' H- Mitchol
Senators jj.N.Dolph
,., 5 Biner Hermann
Congressmen w R Ellis
Printer Frank C. Baker
(F.A.Moore
Supreme Judges -J W. P. Lord
R. S. Bean
So ye nth Judicial District.
Circuit Judge W. L. Bradshaw
Prosecuting Attorney A. A. Jayne
Morrow County Officials.
Joint Senator... ... A. W. Rowan
Ropresentative J. 8. Booth by
iounty Judge Julius Keithly
' Coin mission era J. R. Howard
J. M. Baker.
" Clerk J. W. Morrow
" Sheriff G. W. Hamntrton
" Treasurer Frank Gilliam
Assessor , J. t'. Willis
" Surveyor Goo. Lord
' School Stu't Anna I'talsiger
" Coroner T. W. Ayera, Jr
HEPPNKB TOWN OFFIGKltS.
Mayor P. O. Bore
Counc.ilmeH O. E. Farnsworth, Mi
Lich ten thai, Otis Patterson, Julius Keithly,
W. A. Johnston, J. L, Yeager.
Keaorder F. J. Hallook
Treasurer A. M. Gumi
Marshal
Precinct OfflcerP,
Justice of the Peace E. L. Freeland
Constable...
....N. B. Whetatone
Halted States Land Officers.
TBI DALLES, OB.
J. P. Moore Rpfrietor
A.B. Biggs ,.;7 Receiver
LA OBANDK, OB.
B.fl, Wilson ReRister
J. H. Kobbins Receiver
9ECItT SOCIETIES.
Oorio Lodge No. 20 E. of P. meets ev
ery Tuesday evening at 7.80 o'clock in
their Caetle Hall, National Bank build
ing. Soiourninir brothers cordially in.
' vited to attend. A. W, Patterson, C. C.
W. V. (JBAWrOBD, of B. 4 8. tf
RAWLINS POST, NO. 1.
O. A. R.
Meets at Lexington, Or,, the last Saturday of
sach month. All veterans are invited to join.
! C. Boon, Geo. W . Smith.
Adjutant, tf Commander.
LUMBER!
TTTK HAVE TOR SALE ALL KINDS OF TIN
V V dressed Lumber, 16 miles of Heppner, at
van is mown as we
8COTT BAWMILrj,
PER 1,000 FEET, ROUGH, - - - 10 00
' CLEAR, - - 17 60
IF DELIVERED IN HEPPNER, WILL ADD
16.00 per 1,000 feet, additional.
L. HAMILTON, Prop.
D.Ai Hamilton, nn'err
national m oi jenpner.
WM. PENLAND, ED. B BISHOP,
President. Cashier.
TRANSACTS A GENERAL BANKING BUSINESS
COLLECTIONS
Made on Favorable Terms.
EXCHANGE BOUGHT & SOLD
HEPPNER. tf OREGON
J f TOO WANT INFORMATION ABOUT
I
m
TTff PRPM (LAPIK CO VP A If T
JOHN WEDOERBURN, - - Managing Attorney,
P. O. Box 462. ' WAbHa'GlUN',D.C.
F"NiJIONS PROCURED jr-j
SOLDIERS, WIDOWS,
CHILDREN. PARENTS.
Alio, for Soldlt rs aod Sailors disabled in the Hue of
nty in the res-alar Armvor "svy .ncthe war.
Barnvon of t" Indian war of lftt2 to 1J43, and
Uwir wldowa, row entitled . od rqA n?ted dlmB
peclslry. 1 houaand entitled to fciher raiea.
Icd forarv tawi. No cbanre for nlvlce. Ho feo
O.R.&N.CO.
E. McNEILL, Receiver.
TO THE
BAST
GIVES THB OHOICB
Of Two Transcontinental
GREAT UNION
NORTHERN Ry. PACIFIC RY
VIA
VIA
Spokane Denver
MINNEAPOLIS OMAHA
AND AND
St. Paul Kansas City
LOW BATES TO ALL
EASTERN CITIES.
Ocean Steamers Leave Portland
Every 5 Days For
SAN FRANCISCO.
For full details call on O. R. & N.
Agent at Heppner, cr address
W. H. HtJKLBURT,
Gen. Pass. Agt.
Portland. Obegon
The eomparativevalueof these twocarda
la known to most persona.
They illustrate that greater quantity fa
Not always moat to bo desired.
These cards express the beneficial qual
ity of
Ripans Tabules
As compared with any previously known
DYSPEPSIA CURB
Ripans Tabulea : Price, 50 cents a box.
Of druggists, or by mail.
BIPANS CHEMICAL CO., 1 0 Sprues St., N.Y.
THE
WISCONSIN CENTRAL LINES
Run Two Fast Trains Daily
Between St. Paul, Minneapolis, and Chicago
Milwaukee and all points In Wisconsin making
connection in Chicago with all lines running
East and South.
Tickets Bold and baggage checked through to
all points In the United States and Canadian
Provinces.
For full information apply to your nearest
tieket agent or JAB. C. POND,
Gnn. Paas. andTkt. Agt., Milwaukee, Wis,
Most Modern and progressive
For catalogue or Information write to
THE MARLIN FIRE ARMS CO.,
New Haven, Conn.
Jbr Jftg Jfcg Jbg 3
I fJOO worth of lovely Music lorForty
I U . Cents, consisting of 100 paees 7
ir-5
; " v si me uiuai rirgaiu uiaiiuci , 111- -a
Cllldlntr frtur lama .1.. Dn.i..ii. m
r CABMCNCITA, the Spamtk Dancer, 3
PADHCWSKI, the Breat Pianist,
T AOB.UNA PATTI and 3
5 MINNIE SCUBMAfl CUTTING. -
m aooBEa. all osom t. .
THE NFUf VnBK Hllcinsi rnunnn 3
Broadway Theatre Bid?., New York City." 13
CANVASSERS WANTED 2
QOIOS TUVXEl I
T O
San Francisco
And U pointa in California, via the Mt. Bhasta
route of the
Southern Pacific Co.
rhearatf IW-vtj ".roi:gh Cr.lif-rola to all
o.'the PucifiT tJ. Pnlimar Biffet
WAi..b. ..vjii l-c!js -ileepers
Attached to express rras, atfording superior
accomHjodati-yQS fur s-cwud-ci&3e paangers.
For rat, rickets, timiizt car raMrvadona,
etc.. call orMB r :Arm
B. KOKHLKK, Manager, E. P. BOOEB8, Asst.
Qen. F. 4 P. Agt., Portland, Oregon,
4
j i
S'Mt. jdffifflfa. Ll"htet
Simplest, MUualUJLjU Easiest
Strongest, R j J 1 JrjTffl Working
Receiver. fQgjffr Compact,
fyt 50. FOft'A CASE IT WILL NOT CURE.
An agreeable laxative and Neuve Tonto.
ooldby Druggists or sent by mail. 2oC5Qq,
and 81.00 per package. Bamplea free.
MXt IlWfortheTe;thaadIiretiUi,2io.
For sale by T. V. Ay era, Jr., IJrugglst.
The thnmb is an tjti falling Indei
of character. The Square Type in.
dicates a fltrong will, great energy
and flrmnes?. Closely allied Is the
Spatnlated Type, the thumb of those
of advanced ideas and biiRineat
ability. Both of these types belonp
to the btiey man or woman; and
Demorest'fl Family Magazine pre
pares especially for such persons s
whole volume of new ideas, eon
den eed in a Final 1 space, so that the
record of the whole world's work
for a month may be read in half an
hotir. The Conical Type indicate
refinement, culture, and a love of
music, poetry, and fiction. A person
with this type of thumb will thor
oughly enjoy the literary attractions
of Demorest's Mngazlne. The Ar
tistic Type indicutes a love ol
beauty ana art, which will find rare
pleasure in the magnificent oil-picture
of roses, x 24 inches, repro
duced from the original painting by
De Longpre, the most celebrated of
living nowcr-paintere, which will
be given to every subscriber to
Demorest's Magazine for 1895. The
cost of this superb work of art was
$350.00; and the reproduction
cannot be distinguished from the
original. Besides this, an exquisite
oil or water-color picture 1b pub
lished In each cumber of the Maga
zine, and the articles are so pro
fusely and superbly illustrated that
, the Magazine is, in reality, a port
folio of art works of the highest
order. The Philosophic Type is the
thumb of the thinker and inventor
of ideas, who will be deeply inter
ested (n those developed monthly
in DemoreBt's Magazine, in every
one of its numerous departments,
which cover the entire artistic ana
scientific field, chronicling every
fact, fancy, and fad of the day.
Demorest's Is simply a perfect
Family Magazine, and was long ago
crowned Queen of the Monthlies.
Send in your subscription; it will
cost only $2.00, and you will have
a dozen Magazines in one. Address
W. Jennings Dkmorebt, Publisher,
15 East 14th Street, New York.
Though not a fashion magazine, its
perfect fashion pages.and its articles
on family and domest ic matters, will
be of superlative interest to those
possessing the Feminine Type of
Thumb, which Indicates in its small
size, slenderness, soft nail, and
smooth, rounded tip, those traits
which belont? essentially to the
Ml St
1
gentler sex, every one of whom should subscribe to
Jemorest's Magazine, If you are unacquainted with
la menis, eenu ior a specimen copy (tree), ana
Tou will admit that seeing these THUMBS has put
fou in the way of saving money by finding in one
aagazine everyming to aauiiiy me merary wantB a
Constipation,
dizziness,
Falling Sen
sations, Nerv
ous twitching
of the eyes
and other
parts.
Strengthens,
invig orates
and tones the
entire system.
Hudyan cures
Deb ility,
Nervousness,
Km i salon b,
and developes
and restores
weak organs.
Fains In the
back, losses
uy u a j or
night stopped
quickly. Oyer 2,000 private endorsements.
Prematureness means im potency in the first
stage. It is a symptom of seminal weakness
and barrenness. It can be stopped In 20 days
by the use of Hudyan.
The new discovery was made by thefippil'
istsof the old famous Hudson Medical Institute.
It Is the strongest vitailzer made. It is very
powerful, bnt harmless. Bold for 81.00 a pack
age or packages for $.0O(plainsealed boxes).
Written guarantee given for a cure. If you buy
six boxes and are not entirely cured, six more
will be sent to you free of all charges.
Bend for circulars and testimonials. Address
HUDSON MEDICAL INSTITUTE.
Junction Stockton, Market & E1IU Sto.
san trraoclnco, Jal
You
Can Get
Ferry's Reeds at your dealers
as fresh and fertile as though VYVB
vnn trnl ihAtn i rapt fmm b'arpir'i V-l
OCtU f all U1B.
FEKRY5 Sim
are known and planted r.vrry-
W11HTM, H.T1U HTM Wtl vtyB lite
rrrry istca AiaUllu
iur i9 tens all aixjut
them, Free.
D.M.Ferry A (
Detroit, Mich.
5T. JACOB5 OIL is
1 H
si Tvp
ran extra- SffliSW
ordinary Ee- SlWS
Juvenator la Haj'iSn
the most RiFf'.
wonderful RWy-wi
discovery of ItjffiftK-
the age. It &T.V
naa been en- EitcvwIvW!
dorsedbythe BlJfSMtv
leadingsclen- - K!Bflw
tlflo men of bSj'?"
Europe and BffiSl
purely vege- HM
Hudjian stopi KflFiPfflffiJl
Prematureness ImwIm
of the dis. OiflUvtOli
charge In 20 BWiWm
days. Cures MfflSiPM
LOST pM
manhood Mmsmmk
EURALGIA
WITHOUT RELAP5E,CO'-UPSe,niSHAP5 or PERHAPS-
SAM0AN HEAD HUNTERS."
Renewal of the Barbarous Prac
tice During Recent Troubles.
Native Troops Cut Of? the Meads of Girls
as Well as Men and Place Them
at the Feet of Their
King.
There was a renewal of the practice
of "head-hunting" in Samoa during the
recent troubles between the partisans
of Slalietoa and of Mataafii; and upon
the occasion, in violation of old Saraoan
customs, the heads of girls, as well as of
men, were taken by the native troops
engaged to fight for the triple protec
torate which exists under the authority
of the British, German, and American
governments! liy advices received in
Washington from spies a short time
ago, says a recent dispatch, it was
learned that an attempt to put a stop
to the practice had been made by the
American jurist, Mr. Ide, of Vermont,
who WTas last year appointed to the
office of chief justice of Samoa, but the
attempt was unsuccessful, as it was
not sustained by the resident consuls.
When the government troops went out
to fight Mntaafa's people in the rebel
lion of this year he warned them that
they would be punished if they in
dulged in the practice of head hunting;
and yet, notwithstanding, as soon as
hostilities were begun the head hunters
broke loose, and when they returned
from the field they brought with them
the heads of their victims, which
were laid at the feet of the king
with the knowledge of the foreign
consuls serving under the protectornte.
On account of the peculiar circum
stances of the case Chief Justice lde
found himself unable to measure out
the punishment which he had threat
ened to inflict. The ruling authorities
would give him no assistance; the of
fenders could not be identified. The
native warriors disregarded his warn
ing; he had no means of enforcing his
orders. "I can look for no support
here, physical or moral," says the chief
justice. For reasons that are not to
their credit the Europeans living in
Samoa declare that barbarous practices
must be tolerated until the rebellious
natives are wholly crushed; and so
they are opposed to any interference
with the old Samoan institution of
head hunting. The next outbreak in
Samoa, therefore, will probably again
give evidence of the existence of the
abominable practice in an enlarged as
sortment of human heads.
The Htrrsiirest of all the protests
agnins.t its c :itinuance uraier civilized
authority litis just been made by Mr.
ft obert Louis Stevenson, the celebrated
novelist, who, in a latter sent from
Apia, tells of some of the scenes that
were recently witnessed there. Ilesays
that the government tro ps. upon re-n.-tnrni.'ig
from the field where they
had fought the Mat:i:if:uis. not only
brought with them tlie heads ol rebel
warriors, but also those of girls. They
nrtrched in procession to Molinmv. car
rying the girls' heads which they had
taken, and "made of them nn oblation
to that melancholy effigy, the king,"
who sat on the veranda of the govern
ment building, offered thanks to the
head hunters, and crowned as heroes
those who should have been hanged as
criminals. The three members of the
Anglo-l.'crman-American consular tri
umvirate "unanimously winked" upon
the occasion, as they had previously
winked at other incidents not less
shocking, perpetrated under the re
sponsibility of the protecting powers
England, flermuny and the United
States. When the girls' beads were
brought in Mr. Stevenson went to the
liritish consul, Mr. Cusack-Smith, and
pressed him to take some notion, yet he
only drafted a protest, which was put
under a paper weight, where it lay un
til the savage ceremony was ended, lie
then spoke without tiny good result to
some of the fighting men who had
taken heads, and some of whom had
contented themselves with taking only
tlie ears of their dead victims, as tro
phies. He next conferred with the
American chief justice, who. however,
as has already been said, was power
less. "I must not wonder, though I
may still deplore, that Mr. Ide accepted
the situation." It is but fair to say,
however, that since Mr. Ide look office
he seems to have done all he could to
prevent head hunting. It is the gov
ernments under whose authority he
holds his place that, reftt e to give him
the power to put a stop to it. The old
king, Mataafa, who was dethroned and
has been sent into banishment by
the protectorate, forbade the taking of
bends in war; but the King who now
rules by the grace of the protectorate
is devoid of sfjueamishness in regard to
it. and even this year has shown him
self ready to accept an oblation of
girls' heads.
Mr. Stevenson declares that many
horrible atrocities have been perpe
trated during the last campaign
against the followers of Mataafa. He
tells the "story of Munono," where the
aged Mataafa flung himself on his
knees before a liritish captain arid im
plored protection for his women and
children. Very soon afterward at the
time of nightfall, flames were observed
to rise from the island. There was wild
disorder all through the night: the
houses were burned, the women
stripped naked, the food trees hewn
down, the animals killed, and a great
part of the island was reduced to ruins.
He tells of other outrages not less
atrocious In the province of Ana and
elsewhere, all perpetrated under the
responsibility of the triple protectorate.
The Huperstlttous People of Calcutta.
The gros-t t riper tition exists in
fvi -ii- , . i-.. .-; j . : i .-.
trje Perfect CURE for
live goat flung down from his two-story
house in accordance with the directions
of a so-called magician, who was called
in to cast out a devil with which a soil
was supposed to be possessed. The
poor brute was first fed with a few
bamboo leaves over which the wizard
mumbled some mantras and it was then
pushed over the terrace. The animal
was killed and its flesh was distributed
to the poor.
CLEVER WORKOF AN OCULIST.
Bow . Damage Suit Was lefeated Through
Little Knowledge of Optics.
Here is an interesting account of a
very clever bit of detective work by an
oculist. It appears that in a large fac
tory, in which were employed several
hundred persons, one of the workmen,
in wielding his hammer, carelessly al
lowed it to slip from his hand. It flew
half way across the room and struck a
fellow Workingman in the left eye.
The man averred that his sight was
blinded by the blow, although a care
ful examination failed to reveal any in
jury, there being not a scratch visible.
He brought a suit in the courts for
compensation for the loss of half of his
eyesight, and refused all offers of com
promise. Under the law, says the Sheffield
(England) Telegraph, the owner of the
factory was responsible for an injury
resulting from an accident of this kind,
and although he believed that the man
was shamming and that the whole case
was an attempt at swindling, he had
about made up his mind that he would
be compelled to pay the claim. The
day of the trial arrived, and in open
court an eminent oculist retained for
the defense examined the alleged in
jured member and gave it as his opin
ion that it was as good as the right
eye. Upon the plaintiff's loud protest
of his inability to see with his left eye,
the oculist proved him a perjurer and
satisfied the court and jury of the fal
sity of his claim.
And how do you suppose he did it?
Why, simply by knowing that the
colors green and red combined make
black. He procured a black card on
which a few words were written with
green ink. Then the plaintiff was or
dered to put on a pair of spectacles
with two different glasses, the one for
the right eye being red and the one for
the left eye consisting of ordinary
glass. Then the card was handed him
and he was ordered to read the writing
on it. This he did without hesitation,
and the cheat was at once exposed.
The sound right eye, fitted with red
glass, was unable to distinguish the
green writing on the black surface of
the card, while the left eye, which he
pretended was sightless, was the one
with which the reatling had to be done.
NO TIME BUT TO EAT.
Infnraiatlon from the Hotel Clerk Which
Staggered the Arkunsaiis.
A tall, grizzly man, wearing a broad
briinmed slouch hat of a muddy yellow
color, and big, witle breeches tucked in
the high tops of his massive boots,
tramped across the tiled floor of the
Laclede rotuntla and stoppetl before
the marble-topped counter, from be
hind which Col. Tom 1'ritehard gave a
cheery greeting, says the St. Louis He
public. The tall, grizzly man said he
was from Red Dog, Ark., and he looked
like it when, with his son, he arrived
at the Laclede.
"Me an' Hill jist come in this mornin'
with a cyar of hawgs, an' we 'lowed
we'd come in frura th' stock yards
t'other side the river an' see the sights,"
said the tall, grizzlv man as he shook
iiuiids with Col. Pritchard. "Whut's
the cheapest room ye c'n give me ail'
Hill? We don't give a durn fer style
jist like ye have yerse'f is good enough
fer us tu. Eh, Hill?"
Hill nodded his head with panto
mimic approval and Col. Pritchard
gave the information that the cheapest
room he had for two was five dollars a
day.
"Hy jinksl That's mighty steep!" re
marked the tall, grizzly man. "Th'
tavern down ut Ked Dog on'y charges
one dollar a day. But I reckon, bein'
as we're hyar, we'll goth' whole hawg.
Eh, Hill?"
Hill's head nodded again with pan
tomimic assent and the old man asked
Col. Pritchard:
"What time is meals ready?"
"Hreakfast from seven to ten a. in.,
dinner from half-past twelve to two
p. m. and supper from six to nine p.
m.," replied Col. Pritchard.
The old man was as silent as a ghost
for about a minute and then he ex
claimed: "(Josh a'mighty, Hill, we
oan't see any sights! We won't have
no time to do nuthin' but eat!"
WHEN "SCAB" DATES FROM.
The Word Has Iteen In Itae since the
Year 1800.
The first time the word "scab" is
known to have been used in its present
sense by union men was in IHOO. Al
though in J 817 several shipbuilders
struck at Medford, Mass., for a contin
uous ruin supply, not till 18'Jl did
strikes become frequent. Thirteen hun
dred persons were idle at fall Kiver for
six months in lWO.
The railroad strike of ISM, which be
gan in St. Louis, May 5, will long be
remembered for its magnitude. A
union man had been discharged by the !
Missouri Pacific road, a.nd the mechan
ics and shopmen struck. This was the
nominal cause. Texas, Louisiana, Mis
souri, Kansas and Arkansas were i
largely affected, and governors of these j
states issued proclamations.
I'receding this came the memorable
strike of Is77 with its immense destruc
tion of life and property. The four
great New York trunk lines were in
the hands of the strikers from first to
last. The riots of Chicago and St.
Louis were the work of tramps.
IN NO OANGER
This Young Man's llemi
tVould Never
(ift ISuJtJ.
A tjarber out on New York uvcnuo
vas cutting1 Ihu Ion;;, curling, profuse
Irickhijf a younv; man, who In, :oju--preti.nsi-njs
to Uiiiitf litt-x ;.r v ami ivj-.v,-si'diii
11,' jwiM-'ri he fore hi:. Ail lid., ft
yrvat irvnhih, says the 'uu)unUx
Highest of all in Leavening Power. Latest U. S. Gov't Report
Absolutely pure
Post. With a supercilious smile and
words that could be heard all over the
room the young man inquired:
"Say, barber, what makes a man
grow bald?"
The barber snapped his scissors onee
or twice and ran the comb through his
beard.
"Well," he answered, slowly, "if a
mad ha s got lots of brains and is a deep
inmKer ne generally gets bald. That,
they say, leads to it every time."
Several of the customers looked at
the young man's luxuriant crop and
smiled rather broadly. The young
man, however, did not exactly see the
joke. So pretty soon, when the barber
was running his fingers over the curly
locks, he tempted fate again.
"Say," he asked, "do you think my
hair will come out and I'll get bald?"
The man of the scissors paused re
flectively, and then, in a tone like ho
was delivering a judicial decision, an
nounced: "No; I don't think you stand In any
danger of getting bald."
Then the crowd laughed and the bar
ber looked surprised.
A QUICKSILVER MINE ON LEGS.
Extraordinary Contents of . Miner's Bodr
Kovenlcd In a Hospital.
A recent San Francisco dispatch says;
Dr. Kixford, of the city and county hos
pital staff, has discovered a mine of
quicksilver. The mine did not pan out
in any paying quantities, but while it
was being worked it was interesting,
at least to a few, although there was
one who could not see much pleasure
in it. The one was Robert McCloud,
and in about forty places under the
skin the metal was hidden.
McCloud entered the hospital about a
month ago, with his arms and legs and
some parts of his body covered with
tumors about the size of a pigeon's egg.
They were red and Indolent looking
lumps, and when the patient was ad
mitted the physicians started in to
treat the abscesses in the usual way.
They were curated time and time
again, but to no effect, and the doctors
were puzzled. They tried all sorts of
remedies, but the abscesses remained
and seemed to thrive in their own
healthy way.
A few days ago Dr. Rixford and Dr.
Oassford decided to remove one of the
obstinate tumors and the patient was
placed on the operating table. The
usual course was pursued by the sur
geons in taking away the lump, but
when it was opened it was found to
contain a quivering mass of quicksilver,
about f he size of a pea. The surgeons
were more astonished than ever and
they set about opening all the quick
silver mines on the man's body, and be
fore they got through they had about
fifty such pieces of the liquid metal.
Every one of the abscesses was the
same, with the exception that some
contained more mercury than others.
The patient was put back to bed, and
when he had so far recovered he ex
plained the reason for the quicksilver
being found untler his skin.
He said he was a miner, and for some
time before coming to the hospital he
had been employed around the quick
silver mines about the Mofave desert.
One day while out prospecting he fell
over a cliff and landed in a cactus
plant. The sharp thorns had pierced
him in many places, and for several
days he was very sore from his wounds.
One of his companions told him to ap
ply quicksilver to the places where, the
thorns had penetrated and it would re
lieve the pain. He pulled a loose pair
of gloves on his hands and filled them
up with liquid to sec if it would have
the desired effect with the wounds in
his fingers. It acted splendidly, and
he made bandages for his arms and
legs and fairly wallowed in a poultice
of quicksilver for a day. The soreness
was gone and the miner went back to
work. In a few days the swellings
commenced at every place the thorns
pricked him and where the mercury
had been applied.
Only 50c. Read
THE
itock loga, Rlorea, children's cloth I n, etc., etc."
OTR SPECIALTY fcrh month
CTJ . " tl-W to
Where to gt It. All the material, even
how to make It. etc.. etc. Thid aiuiia will
to any woman.
THE GREATEST OFFER YET.
A PATTERN and any four of the following itandard books, bound In white and gold, new
aii ao v;r- H""" yatrri, tan Btiu iin, ui s,no fit,L(ii u BUU t)IA Blinnui HI in unit;, nui u BJJ WUUIU
coat Tou 40 con t ll mj;1i In a a tore, dmlvertvl fraa In inv nart. nf tho United MtAlM or f'ltnjiM
h you rwna ai once iweniy nve jot. itampa ror a
this, but once a subscriber always a lubacrlber.
the numbers ol the books you want. Uou't wait
I The Ykllow Maik -WUVte Cotlint
t FoaniNt, 1MB Fkttsrs Mri Alenndir.
'lilt OtTotooH Mim M. E HradtoD
4. The Hai of Diamokf Ctntge U. Fenn.
J. l,Aiy OitArR Mm Henry Wood.
. Tut So;iKfcS iMRMH'i. Charlotte M. Hratm.
5, 'I iik Sh.ihw op A Sim. Charlotte M Rreme.
. Kf.vkkikh op a Ha hii.'ii - Ik. Marvel.
9. 'I hk I : 1 lU sh " 'I he liticht-iv "
10. Single Hi- aki and Iiouhlk F a a. Thai. Reads,
11. (mi Kn on ihk Hiiakth .'hi Ukkerta.
13. A V.'if y. r (Jikl Mary Ot.il May.
i. Mks , '!.. 'isCrmAiN 1,k lUkka. D. Jerrold.
14. Calliu a. Hntjli fw iy,
A'ilrow, THE McCALL CO.,
HEtEIH!
owder
The physicians at the hospital are
wondering how the patient escaped
mercurial poisoning. He suffered no
constitutional disarrangement and the
action of the mercury was purely local.
McCloud is in a fair way to recovery,
and he expects to go back to the mines
in a few days.
Two tircat l'owt Offices
For several years past the post office
department at Washington has been
protc.ting against the inferior accom
modations oi' the New York and Chi
cago ofiicej, which are tile govern
ment's chief money makers. Hoth
buildings are owned by the federal
government, and both are conducted
not from their liberal postal revenues,
but, by appropriation made by congress.
The .New York post oiliee, in use since
lfiT"i, is on land ceiled by New York to
the federal government. The receipts
of the New York oiliee In a year are
seven million dollars. The expentes,
including eight thousand dollpin to the
postmaster and seventy-five thousand
dollars for gas, fuel and other detailed
items, are two million five hundred
thousand dollars, leaving a net profit
to the government from its operation
of four million five hundred thousand
dollars. The receipts of the Chicago,
office are four million dollars a year,
and the expenses (including six thou
sand dollars for postmaster) are one
million live hundred thousand dollars,
leaving a net profit to the government
of two million five hundred thousand
dollars; so that New York and Chicago
together net seven million dollars.
Digging l' Ancient Alexandria.
There seems to be a likelihood that
the treasures which are supposed to be
buried in and around ancient Alexan
dria may be brought to light before
long. A letter from Cairo, published
in tho London Times, says: "A very
important symptom of the past season
has been the awakening of interest in
ancient Alexandria, and we shall prob
ably hear a great deal about the
Ptolemaic and Roman capital in the
future. It is the most unexplored site
in Egypt, and it is really astonishing
that we should know so little of what
was once the first city (and has always
been among the first) on the Mediter
ranean. The meeting place of so many
races, bound up with Jewish and early
Christian history, an unrivaled center
of culture, the burial place of the
greatest of ancient conquerors and of
a long line of his successors, the most
singular and favored city in the Roman
empire, Alexandria has limitless possi
bilities. The ancient city lies tleep
untler the modern; but, now that the
municipality is favorable, the new
museum has been organized nuil per
sons of local influence are at work, we
may hope that an exploration has been
begun which will prove of extraordi
nary interest if carried through."
Misery Mhared.
The Parisian beggar is generally a
person of wit. One of the fraternity
met one evening, at eight o'clock, a
gentleman who was on his way to a
dinner party.
"Have pity, monsieur, and give me a
sou," said the beggar, "for I have had
no dinner to-day!"
"(let out!" exclaimed the gentleman.
"I've had no dinner, cither!"
"Too bad!" answered the beggar.
"Make it two sous, then, and we'll dine
togcthcrl"
An absent-minded landlord called on
a tenant to condole with him on the
death of a valuable cow. The cause
of its decease had been enveloped in
mystery, and, while explaining it, the
landlord, though a kind and sympa
thizing person, went off into the
clouds. The last words of the narra
tive were: "And can you believe it,
my lord, when we opened her we found
she had been choked by a large turnip
that was sticking in her gullet." Here
the landlord woke up, and in a congrat
ulatory tone of voice observed: "Ah,
yes, and so von got vour turnip?"
This All Through.
Newest DoRljrnd. LPfifllnar Htylm. Perfnnt Patterna
fop Ladien, Mintwa and Children. Huperb lllimtratlnns.
Fanhiin Notod. Health arid ftaaufy. Fancy Work.
Beautifully IlhuiratAd HuffKrit(oris. Ktorien. Uilldren'a
Pajre. Practical Pagfl. Practical, unful and economical
hint of all kinds. Pre-eminently the Fashion .Journal
for tho million. A valuabla, claan nousthold papar lor
only 60c. ft year.
QUEEN OF FASHION
ILLU3TRATINC1
Tht Celebrated McCall Bazar Patterns
Eitabllihetf Twnty-FIvft Yciri.
Ton may think yon nannot afford anot,herprr, Ton
nannot afford to on without It. The Qiterk op Famiion
will actually nave you from fifty to five hundred tlmea
M cents bv Hi htntn. " How to make over old dreuei.
Tho way to begin real economy.
Ml yon howto irefc a eotnnlete unit for from
14.00 equal to tailor made. Just how to do It.
to the ml nil tea t little article of trimming. Jnat
be worth fifty tlmua the oust of the aubscrintlon
new yearly utjacrlption. we lose money by
Oan select the pattern any time. Mention d
'till Its too late.
Wllkle Collinf.
n 1MB NioMr B HafMtian.
17. A STUDV IN SCAPLBT. A. Cunan lyl
is. Wedded akh Partxd. Charlotte M. Uraerne.
if). Mv I.Anv's Money. Wilkie Collin,
10. Maio, Wipe oh Widow Mm. Alnander.
11. Ma k to the old HoMK.-MaryCet.il Hay.
27. A Vst-Lnw Asikk lora
2-j. Ht.A K llAU rv. -Anna Srwrll.
24. C'haklol ik Tkmm.k Mi Kowinn.
l hs 1 1 ki h op i.YNfitt. Kotiert lluchanan.
i 111 -
46 East
4th St., New York.