8
gMilili H I Hi l l I I III II I I t i l l Ul 111 1 1 1 h i 1 1 L) i,,M,5
-
i The persistent wooing lover i
Is the one who gets the maid ;
I And the constant advertiser I
I Gets the cream of all the trade, i
i :
I
5miiii hi in i idi i hi ij 1 1 1 1 in 1 1 1 1 1 1 hi u n in mi i i nid
OFFICIAL
PAPER
I'M I CI If Ml I III 1 1 M 1 1 1 1 W M'lil Mill III 1 1 1 1 1 otii..
i
I The man who tries to advertise I
i With printer's ink consistent,
I One word mast learn nor from it turn, 1
I ' And that one word's persistent
S JJ
HiftHM Pl l 1 1 1 M I I M ,M M 1 1 1 1 M IIHI I I II I I I 1 1 1 lWi
TWELFTH YEAR
HEPPNER, MORROW COUNTY, OREGON, FRIDAY, DECEMBER 7, 1894.
WEEKLY NO. 613.1
SEMI-WEEKLY NO. 2M. I
SEMI WEEKLY GAZETTE.
FUBLI8HKD
Tuesdays and Fridays
-BT-
m PATTERSON PUBLISHING COMPANY
At f3. 50 per year, $1.25 for six months, 75 eta.
cor inree m uncos.
Advertising Rates Made Known on
Application.
The "XAO-LE," of Long Creek, Grant
County, Oregon, is pubiisnea oy lae same com
BftnT everv Frldav mornine. SubBcriotlon
price, $2per year. For advertising rates, address
ORZJsr Xi. FAr5o, Editor ana
Manager, Long Creek, Oregon, or "Gazette,
Heppner, Oregon.
THIB PAPER is kept on file at E. C. Dake's
Advertising AgenGy, fl4 and 65 Merchants
Uxcnangs, Han r rancieoo, (Jamonna, wnere cou
racti for advertising can be made for it.
Union Pacfic Ralway-Local card.
No, 10, mixed leaves Heppner 0:45 p. m. daily
exoept aunaay
' 10, " ar. at Willows Jo. p.m.
9, " leaves " a. m.
" 9, " ar. at Heppner 5:00 a, m. daily
except Monday.
East bonnd, main line ar. at Arlington 1 : a. m.
West leaves " a. m.
West bonnd local freight leaves Arlington 8:35
a. m., arrives at The Dalles 1:15 p. m. Local
passenger leaves The Dalles at 2 :00 p. m. arrives
at Portland at 7:00 p. m.
OFPICIAL DIRBCTOBT.
United States Officials.
President Grover Cleveland
Vice-President Ad'ai Stevenson
Secretary of State Walter Q. Grenham
Secretary of Treasury John G. Carlisle
Secretary of Interior.. Hoke Smith
Secretary of War Daniel S. Lamont
Secretary of Navy Hilary A. Herbert
PoBtuiaster.General Wilson 8. Biasell
Attorney-General Kichard S. Olney
Secretary of Agriculture J. Sterling Morton
State of Oregon.
Governor S. Pennoyer
Secretary of State G. W. MoBnde
Treasurer Phil. Metsnhan
Bopt. Public Instruction E. B. MoKlroy
Senators
(J. H. Mitchel
J. N.Dolph
5 Binder Hermann
congressmen , iw R.Ellis
(
Printer Frank C. Baker
( P. A. Moore
Supreme Judges W. P. Lord
?B.S.Bean
Seventh Judicial District.
Circuit Judge W. L. BradBhaw
Prosecuting Attorney ...A. A. Jayne
Blorrow Connty Officials.
joint Senator A. W. Gowan
Representative J. S. Hoothby
DonntyJndge Jnlms Keithly
' Commissioners J. It. Howard
J. M. Baker.
Clerk J. W. Morrow
" Sheriff G. W. Harrington
" Treasurer Frank Gilliam
" Assessor J. K, Willis
Snrveyor... Goo. Lord
' School Sup't Anna Balsiger
" Coroner T. W. Ayers, Jr
HEPPNKB TOWN OFFICERS.
Mayor P. O. Borg
Councilinen O. E. Farnsworth, Mi
Liohtenthal. Otis Patterson, Julius Keithly,
W. A. Johnston, J. L. Yeager.
Recorder F. J. Hallock
Treasurer A. M. Gunn
Marshal
Precinct Officer?.
Justice of the Peace E. L. Freetand
Constable N. 8. Whetstone
United SUtes Land Officer,
THE DALLES, OB.
J. F. Moore Register
A. S. Biggs Receiver
LA O BANDS, OB.
B.F, Wilson Register
J. H. Bobbins Receiver
GOOIETIEE.
Dorio Lodge No. 30 K. of P. meets ev
ery Tuesday evening at 7.30 o'otock in
their Castle Hall, National Bank build
ing. Soionrnina brothers oordislly in-
vlted to attend. A. W. Patterson, C. C.
W. V. UBAWPOBD, K. Of it. & S. tf
KAWLIN8 POST, NO. 81.
G. A. B.
Meets at Lexington, Or., the last Saturday of
each month. All veterans are invited to join.
: C. Boon, Gbo. W. Smith.
Adintant, tf Commander.
LUMBEE!
WE HAVE FOR SALE ALL KINDS OF UN
dressed Lumber, 16 miles of Heppner, at
what ii known as the
SOOTT SAWIUJIjTj.
FEB 1,000 FEET, ROUGH, - - - 110 00
" ' " CLEAR, - - 17 60
IF DELIVERED IN HEPPNER, WILL ADD
16.00 per 1,000 feet, additional.
L. HAMILTON, Prop.
D. A. Hamilton . an'sr
01
I.
WB. PENLAND, ED. K. BISHOP.
President. Cashier.
TRANSACTS A GENERAL BANKING BUSINESS
COLLECTIONS
Made on Favorable Terms.
EXCHANGE BOUGHT & SOLD
HEPPNER. tf OREGON
IF YOU WANT INFORMATION ABOUT
ii.A-a .-l0,tfr fir rwumtl r.rl T
THE PKEWS CLAIHII COHPAJIT,
IOHN WMOERBUHN, - Wsnaoinj Attorns.,
P. O. Box 461.
prfSIOSS PROCT&ED POTt
SOLDIERS. WIDOWS,
CHILDREN, PARENTS.
Also, for Soldier nd Sailors 1lft.tiM !n the line of
mr in the resralar Am.yor Nsvv alaerthe wr.
survivor, of trie Indian wsr of 1K2 to 1S42, nd
Uwlr widows, mow entitled. Old sad rejected claims
I inert.itr TnouMt.ds entitled to M!icr t.
teed fornki ! ebarfv !t H'lce, Sefst
0.R.&N.C0.
E. McNEILL, Receiver.
TO THE
BAST
GIVES THE CHOICE
Of Two Transcontinental
GREAT UNION
NORTHERN Ry. PACIFIC RY.
VIA VIA
Spokane Denver
MINNEAPOLIS OMAHA
AND AND
St. Paul Kansas City
LOW RATES TO ALL
EASTERN CITIES.
Ocean Steamers Leave Portland
Every 5 Days For
SAN FRANCISCO.
For full details oall on O. R. & N.
Agent at Heppner, or address
W. H. HURLBTJRT,
Gen. Pass. Agt.
Portland, Oregon.
The comparative value of these twoearda
la known to most persona.
They illustrate that greater quantity is
Not always most to be desired.
These cards express the beneficial qual
ity of
RipansTabuIes
As compared with any previously known
DYSPEPSIA CURB
Ripana Tabules : Price, 50 cents a bor,
Of druggists, or by mail.
BIPANS CHEMICAL CO., 1 0 Spruce St., N.T.
-THE
WISCONSIN CENTRAL LINES
Run Two Fast Trains Daily
Between St. Paul, Minneapolis, and Chicago
Milwaukee and all points in Wisconsin making
connection In Chicago with all lines running
East and South.
Tickets Bold and baggage checked through to
all points in the United States and Canadian
Provinces.
For full information apply to your nearest
ticket agent or JAS. C. POND,
Gen. Pass. andTkt Agt, Milwaukee, Wis,
Ss'Mt,
Simplest.
Strongest,
Solid
Top
Receiver.
Lightest,
Easiest
I Working,
I Most
J Accurate,
Compact,
Most Modern and progressive
For catalogue or Information write to
THE MARLIN FIRE ARMS CO.,
New Haven, Conn.
I FREB 3
C I "ortn ' lowly Music lor Forty
ST" I U Cents, consisting of 100 pages
fi: y ' hill size Sheet Music of the
jj latest, brightest, liveliest and most popular
Z selections, both vocal and Instrumental.
w-- gotten up In the roost elegant manner, to- 1
eluding four large size Portraits.
CMMCMCIU, tht Spznj Dancer,
fc: PADCRW8KI, tht Onat Pianist.
ADEUNA PATTI and 3
HINNIC StUQMAN CUTTINQ.
y aoen... iu eaotaa to ""
THE NEW YORK MUSICAL ECHO CO. 3
Broadway Theatre Bldg., New York City. ZS
5 CANVASSERS WANTED. 3
liliiliiliiiiiliiliiiUiiiUiUililt
San Franolsoo
And all points in California, vis the Ht, Bbasts
ronte of the
Southern Pacific Co.
The greet hiehwar thromrh California to all
points East and Sonth. trrand Scenic Route
of the Facific Coast. Piulman Koffet
Hleepera. Berond-claa. Hleepers
Attached to exprese trains, aflnrding snpenor
soconuDodations for aecond-clans passengers.
For ratse, tickets, sleeping oar reservations,
etc.. call npon or address
SL EUEBLSU, ilanaor, X. P. ROOXBS, AMt,
Qen. t. a p, Ait, Portland, Oregon,
The thumb is an nnfailing index
of character. The tSqunre'i'jpe in
dicates a srrong will, great erierey
and flrmnefr". CloHely allied is the
Spatulatcd Type, tbe thumb or thope
of advanced ideas and bntjirn-HS
ability. Both of these types belong
to the busy man or woman; and
Demorest's Family Afnuaxiiie pre.
pares especially fur such permum a
whole volume of new ideiis, con.
ri(nsir( (n . atnnll siihpsi an thnr tlm
I rn ! record of the whole world's work
1 1 I 'or a 01onth may be read in half an
relinement, culture, and a love of
music, poetry, and Action. A person
with this type of thumb will thor
oughly enjoy the literary attractions
of Demorest's Magazine. The Ar
tistic Type Indicates a love of
beauty and art, which will find rare
pleasure in the magnificent oil-picture
of roees, x 24 inches, repro
duced from the original painting by
De Longpr6, the most celebrated of
living; flower-painters, which will
be given to every nubscribcr to
Demorest's Magazine for 1896. The
cost of this superb work of art was
$350.00 ; and the reproduction
cannot be distinguished from the
original. Besides this, an exquisite
oil or water-color picture is pub
lished in each number of the Maga
zine, and the articles are so pro
fusely and superbly illustrated that
the Magazine is, in reality, a port
folio of art works of the highest
order. The PhilosophlcTypeie the
thumb of the thinker and inventor
of ideas, who will bs deeply inter
ested in those developed monthly
in Demorest's Magazine, in every
one of its numerous departments,
which cover the entire artistic and
scientific field, chronicling every
fact, fancy, and fad of the day.
Demorest's is simply a perfect
Family Magazine, and was long ago
crowned Queen of the Monthlies.
Send in your subscription; it will
cost only $2.00, and you will have
a dozen Magazines in one. Addresa
W. Jenninus Dfmorkst, Publisher.
15 East 14th Street, New York.
Though not a fashion magazine, its
perfect fashion pages, and its articles
on family and domestic matters, will
be of superlative intercut to those
possessing the Feminine Type of
Thumb, which indicates in its small
size, slendeniess, soft nail, and
Bmooth. rounded tiD. those traits
1
which belong essentially to the
gentler sex, every one of whom should subscribe to
Deiuorest'B Magazine. If you are unacquainted with
its merits, send for a Bpecimen copy (free), and
you will admit that seeing these THUMBS has put
you in the way of saving money by finding in one
Magazine everything to satisfy the literary wants of
sUe whole family.
Leave
Doubtful Seeds alone. The beat
are easy to get, and cost no
more. Ask your dealer for
FERRY'S
SEEDS
Always tlie best. Known
everywhere. Ferrv!. Rea
Annunl for 1NU.1 tells von
r wn&L. now. ana wnen t.n n Ant.
. oom r ree. uei iu Address i
D. M. FERRY & CO.,
uetrojt, Alien.
A QUAKER HEARSE.
It Is Used By the Rloti mid la the Plainest
Hi-ante In This Country.
The henrso that carries the rcm-iinr,
of the ordinary Sew York man t.; tae
grave mny he bedecked with ivaraj;
plumes and conspicuous festoons of
mournirtfr, but the New York million
aire, if lie follows the example of dead
and gone millionaires, makes his jour
ney in a plain black vehicle with no
unnecessary ornamentations. This is
called the Quaker hearse.
The Muauer hearse, says a New York
exchange, is let out only to people who
want to be buried as befits the rich.
Strictly speaking, there have been a
number of Quaker hearses, for these
vehicles, like all others, will wear out,
but as soon as one shows signs of going
to pieces another precisely like it is
built, and it is a precious fiction of the
undertakers that the Quaker hearse
which carried its grim load to Green
wood recently is the same Quaker
hearse behind which the sad procession
of a bygone generation marched slow
ly to the cemetery. It is called the
Quaker hearse because of its extreme
simplicity, which has endeared it to the
Quakers. They and the millionaires
always use it.
It is drawn by a span of black horses
driven by a black driver. John Gil
martin, who has been driving it for the
last twenty years, lias a solemn face
that matches well the melanoholy hue
of his clothes. Occasionally, specially
instructed, John puts draped cockades
on his horses and an extra wide weed
on hir, hat, but he considers plainness
preferable to an attempt at effect in
funerals.
So far as is known, no Quaker hearse
ever disgraced a funeral by breaking
down while carrying a body. Once the
Quaker had a narrow escape. That
was years ago, when Mayor Ilnve
lneyer died. The Quaker carried the
bo:b safely, but no sroner had it re
turned to the .-.table than the rear a.de
gave w-.:y and 'lie hearse came down
willi a crash. The present Quaker has
out-..- i-ii thr'C sets (;f wheels. Since
the ri final Quaker lirst set out on its
travel, it h-j'i carried the remains of
the Vandei hilt .., Astors. Jay Gou!d.
Catharine Wolfe, the Stewarts, ifave
meycrs, and many others. Henry S.
Ives made his last journey in the
Quaker. His the plainest and finest
hearse in this country.
Largest Bsby Ever Horn.
The largest h&by at time of birth of
which the medicos of the world have
any record first saw the light of day at
Macon, Ha., during the summer of
The child was the offspring of Will
Lennon, ft wellknown painter of that
burg. When thechild was twenty-four
hours old it weighed but one and one
half ounoi thnn forty poiini'..
1
LUMBAGO
SIGNALED BY MAES.
Strange Sounds Which Might Be
Celestial Messages.
Electrical Experiments by Edison i
Mount Ojrden Possibilities of the
Future in Aerial Com
munication. Can wie open up electric communica
tion with the inhabitants of Mars?
That is a question recently considered
at a meeting of the Society of Arts in
London, where Mr. W. H. l'reece, engi
neer to the telegraphs department of
the British post office, read a paper on
"Electric Signaling Without Wires."
Mr. Preece explained how he had re
cently demonstrated that wires were
not at all necessary to establish tele
phonic communication, says the New
York World.
Under the supervision of a royal
commission appointed between the
shore and lighthouses he had conducted
a series of experiments which amply
demonstrated this fact. There was no
difficulty in speaking between the
shore and Flat Holm, three miles dis
tance from the place of experiment.
Mr. l'reece then went on to say that
"strange, mysterious sounds" are
heard on all long telephone lines when
the earth is used as a return, especially
in the calm stillness of the night.
"Earth currents," said he, "are found
in telegraph circuits and the aurora
borealis lights up our northern sky
when the sun's photosphere is dis
turbed by spots. The sun's surface
must at such times be violently dis
turbed by electrical storms and if os
cillations are set up and radiated
through space in sympathy with those
required to affect telephones it is not
a wild dream to say that we may hear
on this earth a thunderstorm in the
sun."
After further describing the mys
terious sounds which had attracted his
attention in the still watches of the
night, Mr. l'reece said: "If any of these
planets be populated witli beings like
ourselves, having the gift of language
and the knowledge to adapt the great
forces of nature, to their wants, then if
they could oscillate immense stores of
electrical energy to and fro in tele
graphic order, it would be possible for
us to hold commune by telephone with
the people of Mars."
Those mysterious sounds which so
puzzle Mr. l'reece seem to correspond
with those noticed by Thomas A.
Edison, who has turned Ogden moun
tain, in New Jersey, into a great mag
net and coiled miles of wire about it.
At the time of the last opposition of
Mars he noticed an increase of the
seismic mutterings, which have recent
ly been so violent. Mr. Edison and Mr.
Preece are the only two of the sci
entists who are now experimenting
along these lines, and th whole scien
tific world is watching the progress
being made. Neither Mr. Edison nor
Mr. l'reece has been so bold as to say
that the strange sounds referred to are
messages sent by the inhabitants of i
Mars to those of earth, but they have
not otherwise explained them.
On the other hand there are many
scientists firm in the belief that the
next few years will witness the open
ing up of communication between
the people of the two planets. This
conviction has been enormously
strengthened by the strange lights
seen at the Lick observatory when
Mars was under observation during its
opposition a little over a year ago.
The three lights were arranged in a
triangle, flashed out as soon as dark
ness had set in and in the immense
lens of the Lick telescope they glowed
with steady and continued effulgence.
Was this an effort of the inlmbitants
of Miirs to attract the attention of
those of earth?
Such had been the opinion of Flam
marion, who had argued in favor of
earth signaling back with a triangle of
lights thirty miles across. It was
shown that tlie conditions of Mars
were more nearly those of earth than
of any other planet, lloth of the snow
caps could be plainly seen and may lie
seen now in any first-class telescope,
for Mars is now to be observed in the
morning about thirty degrees west and
fourteen degrees south from Venus in
the constellution Capricorn. The well
defined atmosphere of Mars is also
plainly visible, and astronomers can
tell by the increase or decrease of its
snow caps and its position in regard to
the sun the progress of its seasons anil
whether or not the Marsians are hav
ing a cold winter. Tlie canal theory
of Schiapparelli has likewise many be
lievers, who assert that the strange
straight lines on Mars are canals
which have been built by its highly
civilized inhabitants.
Mr. Preece says he has kept a record
of tlie strange, mysterious sounds
which hav; attract -l his attention,
while Edison has done likewise. These
will require much study to decipher, if
they are messages from Mars. The
Preece discovery, on tlie other hand,
puts it in the power of the people of
earth to send direct electrical currents
to Mars, whose inhabitants are so much
in advance of ourselves that th
iat tney may
be able to help us out in the work of
opening up converse. A pantomimic
electrical interchange will he necessary
for h"me time, but what will lxi the
emotions of the scientific world when
the message is sent out that communi
cation has been estaijlislied?
There are those who firmly assert
'."at this is an cxpriem:e ' f the imme
diate f.iture; that electricity is the
unhvn-ai force and the one whereby
tha 5.'uiaet'j will come into com
munication with each other if they
t "Ht:
ever do. The mystery of electricity is
the strange fluctuations it undergoes.
If it were an earth property solely it
would be steady, as it would be were it
common to all the universe and not in
terfered with, liut its strange goings
and comings, its apparent relations to
the sun, and yet its known sympathy
with other heavenly bodies, seem to
show that somebody somewhere is
fooling with the dynamo nnd cutting
off and turning on the current.
QUAKERISM-UPT o" UA 1 1.
Concessions to Modern Ideas by the Socie
ty of Friends.
The recent yearly meeting of the So
ciety of Friends adopted several
changes in discipline that will be of
very general interest. The rule con
cerning marriage, says the Philadel
phia Press, that for time out of mind
has been regarded with such rigor in
the society, has been changed in the
direction of liberality. It is now alto
gether feasible for a member to marry
one who is outside the society without
losing standing, or, in any event, mem
bership in the society. Formerly it
was impossible for a member to marry
anyone not a member of the society
without the consent of the meeting,
provided the person was a member of
any other body. Now, in all cases, if
the meeting consent, it can lie done in
god order. Even if a member marry
contrary to the order of the meeting
and desire to retain membership, the
meeting is now, by the changes in the
discipline, permitted to retain him.
The women's meeting, it may also be
observed, is given equal voice with the
men.
The new discipline makes a number
of other changes. Among the most in
teresting is one recommending that
friends abstain from the use, cultiva
tion, manufacture and sale of tobacco.
A recommendation against the use and
sale of liquors has long been in force,
and remains unchanged, exeept that
it has been extended so as to embrace
"furnishing any material whereby the
testimony against intoxicants is vio
lated." The testimonies in relation to "plain
ness" of speech, appnrel and behavior
remain unchanged. The article in no
tation to slavery is stricken out, and
many obsolete expressions are modern
ized. The queries have been recast, and
now embrace fourteen, the answering
of which embraces a statement of the
condition of the society on almost all
essential points.
One of the changes that has been
made in the substitution of the term
"free ministry of the gospel" in place
of tin term "hireling," which was dis
tasteful to mnny. The testimony ngaim.t
a paid ministry is not changed, but
only tile name by which it is known is
rendered more euphonious.
Peace and arbitration are also advo
cated. VICTIMS OF FOOL'S GOLD.
Thoy ItittiRe from I'orly-Nlni rs to World's
I',:'.- 'ini'milr ilnrilors,
Stretched Mat 'ii his stomach on the
giv;vei!y will: i.i the front of tlio east
entrance the .Mining Vnildiii;;, wilh
hi;', iiese within one inch of t!ie ground,
l.i' a. s:ti.iI.I hiy tlie other day. Around
mm, ;nys Mr: (. ntca.'fn Tribune, were.
as .'.u'i'iciiii:i'.t investigation showed
one brother, his mother, two sisters,
one cousin, o;je aunt, and one granil-
nioiacr. ine Drotlier and sisters were
seiitle.vd around in positions some
what similar to tlie youthful hero of
tliis story. Their noses were equally
close to the ground. The olfactory ap
pendages belonging to the elder mem
bers of the party were as near to
mother earth as their half-squatting,
hah'-.iitting posture permitted. Each
and every member of this aggregation
was busy busy scratching gravel.
With infinite care every inch of ground
was inspected, and every once in
awhile an exultant cry of "got some"
from one individual would spur tlie
others on t ) renewed exertions.
One bystander finally went to the
small boy and queried:
"What are you looking for, son?"
"fluid," was the sententious answer.
"Found any?"
"Yep."
Slowly he opened his tightly closed
left hand and exhibited half a dozen
grains of iron pyrites, worth about
seven cents a pound.
All of which is but history under a
modern guise. When the earth gave
up its yellow treasure half a century
ago many a man dug for gold and
thought lie found it; many an aircastlu
was wrecked when the bagH of shim
mering dust turned out to be "fool's
gold" iron pyrites. And there are
storiis current in the far west that
when some of the castles fell they
buried their builders beneath the ruins.
Origin or the Menhaden Industry.
Mr. Kobert F. Walsh, in the Popular
Science Monthly, thus recalls the origin
of the present menhaden industry: It
was in 1MV) when an old lady, Mrs.
John Ilartlett, of Illuehill, Me., boiling
some fish for her chickens, observed a
thin scum of oil upon the surface of
the water. Some of this she bottled,
and when on a visit to Iionton soon
after, carried samples to a leading oil
merchant, who encouraged her to bring
more. The following year the Ilartlett
family industriously applied their gill
nets and sent to market thirteen bar
selsof oil, for which they were paid at
the rate of eleven dollars per barrel.
In the following year this family made
one hundred barrels. Then the value
of menhaden oil having become recog
nized, many oil presses of a more or
l,.uu imru.i-f.'of mtiiclrnl.iin ......... .....
. .. " '. : : - -
""'""i"-'" B1"K coast, and the in-
uusiry ueveiopeu wi mjiiuiy iua& Wlin
in twenty years the yield of menhaden
oil exceeded that of the whale from the
American fisheries.
Australian Native Iytns;
The aboriginesof Australia are stead
ily dying out, although the colonial
government spends a considerable sum
on their support. Victoria and New
South Wales have very few blacks left
at ail, fnl Ui" vimUr lwm every
Highest of all in Leavening Power. Latest U. S. Gov't Report
Absolutely puke
BESIEGED BY WOMEN.
They Throng the White Houso
with All Sorts of Wants.
The Life of Private Secretary Thurber
Rendered Kxceedtlifrly Interesting:
by Jair Callers with Requests for
the President's Signature.
For a time at the beginning of the
l-rescnt administration Private Secre
tary Thurber was almost hourly visit
ed by women carrying bedspreads and
crazy quilts on which the president or
Mrs. Cleveland were to write names.
says the Washington Post. At last this
fad assumed such alarming proportions
that a bureau for the reception of all
such things was established across the
hall from Mr. Thurber's office. I can
not say, but I strongly suspect that
clerks were employed in this depart
ment to sign the names, and credulous
women worked in floss and filoselle the
names of the head official and his wife
that had been written by young men
nnd women hired to do the writing at
so much a week.
Mr. Thurber is besieged constantly
by women who want to see Mrs. Cleve.
land and the babies. "Can't you just
take me into Mrs. Cleveland's room and
tell her who 1 am. She won't care and
1 won't do anything but look at her.
they explain in their confidential way.
hen lie assures tuem that Mrs. Cleve
land is not on exhibition at that time
they beg for a special dispensation for
themselves, never realizing that if the
demands of tlie people were regarded
Mrs. Cleveland and thu children would
be on inspection drill twenty-four hours
every day without a moment's cessation
for eating or sleeping.
Some people come to the private sec
retary with pathetic appeals. They
want to see the president that he may
have their husbands or fathers re
turned to the government employ,
from which they have been removed.
The little stories of their sorrows and
trials are quite as vivacious as they are
pathetic, and though because of the
impossibility of it doing them any
good they never reach the president
tliey ere not less kindly heard by his
secretary.
Nouictinie.s woman suffragists float
into tin wliUe. house and up tlie softly.
carpeted stairs to Mr. Tlmrber. I re-
mcni!,cr one who wanted a consulate.
She :-:iid, in iter inanly voi e, as if de-
livei-ii'g a speech from thu Auditorium
stage:
"Mr. Secretary, il has been proved
conclusively that woman is mentally
man's equal, in endurance she is his
equal, and in morals his superior. Mr.
Secretary, I call upon you to know if
this is not so?
Mr. Thurber stroked his palo drab
mustache, looked very doubtful and as
sented. "Mr. Secretary, in the name of the
women of these United States, in the
names of mothers who bore the voters,
by the right of their intelligence and
the nobility of their motives, I demand
that they may be given a vote."
"Hut, madam, 1 cannot enfranchise
women," said Mr. Thurber, apprehen
sively. "Mr. Secretary, I don't want you to
enfranchise women, but I want you to
show your approval of bestowing that
grand and glorious privilege upon the
nobler, if weaker, sex by securing for
me a consulate."
The grandiloquence of the speech
slightly aroused Mr. Thurber, who said:
"In order to save you time and trouble
in going to the departments I will tell
you now that you are not eligible to a
consulate and consequently cannot
have it, no matter how much you and
all your friends think you should."
Then he explained at considerable
length that only citizens were eligible,
ami that women, not being citizens,
could not be ambassadors. It was im
possible to misunderstand such a
lengthy and kindly explanation and
the woman was naturally deterred
from carrying the matter any further,
but, unwilling to leave without once
more asserting her dignity, she drew
herself up to her full five feet nine
and said:
"Mr. Secretary, it is an unjust rul
ing, anil I shall see that our represen
tative to congress has it changed."
I'p to date, however, it has not been
changed.
HUMBERT AND FRANCIS JOSEPH
A Ilraee of Monarehs Who Never Rpeak an
They Pans Ily.
Indications of tlie peculiar relations
existing between the courts of Vienna
and Kome were manifested the other
day, when Emperor Francis Joseph was
permitted to cross over the Italian ter
ritory on his way to visit Emperor Wil
liarn at A bbazia, without any of tlio
customary forms of courtesy and atten
tion being paid to him by the Italian
authorities.
This neglect by the Italians was
made all the more pointed seeing that
King Humbert was at that moment at
Venice preparing to receive the visit of
Emperor William, which followed Im
mediately after the departure of the
Austrian monarch, who for a second
time passed several hours traveling
through the northern portion of Italy
on the way back to his capital.
The strained relations which led to
this lack of courtesy on the part of King
Humlx-rt are due, says the New York
Kecordcr, to the persistent rufusal of
tfic emperor and empress to return at
Kome the state visit which King Hum
bert and Queen Marguerite were por
uadd by tholr minister to pay to the
Baking
court of Vienna" just ten years ago. The
visit ought to have been returned with
in at the latest twelve months, and the
emperor's hesitation and delay in the
matter are attributable to the compli
cations which would arise in connec
tion with the Vatican, since the pontiff
absolutely refuses to receive at the
Vatican any Catholic sovereign who has
not first paid his respects to the head
of the church before holding any inter
course with the quirinal.
King Humbert of course insists that
the first visit should be to the quirinal,
and this renders the stay of Catholic
royalties in the eternal city a source of
endless complications and awkward
contretemps. To make matters worse,
Empress Elizabeth has, even since the
death of her son, visited Rome incog
nito, and been received by the pope
without paying the slightest attention
to the quirinal, and that it was after
this that she was permitted to make a
stay at Venice without receiving any
attention from the Italian authorities,
being even forced to take her turn
with the tourists when she visited the
royal palace in which she had formerly
dwelt as its mistress prior to the forced
surrender of Venice to Italy by Aus
tria. FATTEN ON BARBER'S WHIMS.
Odds and Ends Turned Over by Cheeky
Fellows with an Eye to Business.
"There are only three men in Chi
cago in that fellow's line of business,"
remarked the chatty Wabash avenue
barber, as he turned to strop the ra
zor. "Oh, he trades in barber's crank
notions, superstitions and whims, the
operator continued. "lie goes from
one shop to another with that little
handbag and trades razors, strops,
brushes, hones anything in the ton
sorial line. How does he make a liv
ing at it? Easy enough. You don't
know barbers very well, I guess. Well,
one of 'ein buys a razor for, say, two
dollars, and after he's used it awhile
makes up his mind he doesn't like it.
So he sells it to this man for one dol
lar. This man leaves it on trial with
some other barber and gets four dol
lars' worth of oltl razors in exchange,
and then he sells one of those old razors
to the original purchaser of tlie two
dollar razor. He does the same with
strops and hones and brushes. Of
course he makes money. Dresses well,
smokes good cigars and works only
when he feels like it. There's money
in it for the three fellows in the busi
ness, but the snap will be overdone as
soon as the scheme is better known.
Capital necessary to begin? Cheek and
acquaintance are all that are neces
sary. When the razor broker gets a
cranky customer who shaves himself
and wlio doesn't care what his outfit
costs, provided it suits him why, then,
he doi-s what anyone else would do.
He makes the crank pay for his crank
iness." INDIANS DIE IN PRISON.
Apaches Yield to Consumption In Confine
ment at Vuma.
It is a remarkable fact, though one
easily accounted for, that imprison
ment at Yuma for any term of not less
than five years of an Apache or any
mountain Indian is equivalent to im
prisonment for life, and the cause of
death is invariably consumption.
This is a disease, says an Arizona ex
change, almost unknown among the
Apaches under normal conditions of
climate and habit. The change, how
ever, from the high altitudes of the
mountains and the bracing mountain
air to the lower level of Yuma, with its
more than semi-tropical heat, wears
away what mountain storms and ex
posure cannot even indent.
On March 2'Jof this year Say-es, a
Tonto Apache, died at Yuma. lie was
a member of tlio Kid's band, anil was
one of the murderers of Sheriff Rey
nolds and his deputy, who were guard
ing them on a journey to Yuma. The
murderers, along with the Kid, es
caped. Say-es alone was afterwards
recaptured, and all the rest of the band
except the Kid have since been killed.
Say-es was sentenced for life from l'inal
county.
Two months before the death of
Say-es Dr. Cotter pronounced his case
hopeless and recommended his pardon
on account of the danger of infection.
The governor decided to grant the
pardon, but vigorous protests came up
from Pinal, Graham and Ciila counties.
The pardon was not granted, and Say-es
died two months later.
Taklue; a Telephone to Bed.
A doctor's profession requires him, if
he seeks convenience and comfort, to
have two telephones one in his office
nd one in his bedroom. As anyone
who hns"to pay tribute to the tele
phone knows, says the Pittsburgh Tele
graph, their charges hardly represent
the progress that has b"cn made in
other lines m tlie worlil m cheapening
commodities. Hut necessity is the
mother of invention, and a doctor in
the East End found a way to have the
convenience of two telephones and yet
only pay for one. lie has his tele
phone hung upon hooks in his office,
the connections being made by the
telephone coming iu contact with an
electric board which he hits had con
structed. He also has wires run to his
bedroom, where another electric board
has been placed. The doctor may
be said to take his telephone to
bed with him every night, lie takes it
from the hooks in his office, carries it
under his arm up to his bedroom, and
places it upon the hooks there. Should
any calls come during tl.e night, he
can answer them without leaving his "
room, thereby get.tiug the use of two
talnphoiitxt for th priet1 of on.