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TWELFTH YEAR
SEMI WEEKLY GAZETTE.
PUBLISHED
Tuesdays and Fridays
BT
THE PATTERSON PUBLISHING COMPANY.
At $3.50 per year. $1.25 fur six months, 75 cts.
lor three montns.
Advertising Rates Made Known on
Application.
THIS PAPER it kept on tile at E. C. Hake's
Advertising Agency, 84 end 65 Merchants
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raou for advertising oan be made for it.
Union Pacfic Railway-Local card.
No, 10, mixed leaves Heppner 9:45 p. m. daily
except Sunday
10, " ar. at Willows Jo. p.m.
9, ' leaves " a. m.
f), " ar. at Heppner 5:00 a. m. daily
sioept'Monday.
Cast bound, main line ar. at Arlington 1 :ai a. m.
West leaves " ISM a. m.
West bonnd local freight leaves Arlington 8:85
l. m., arrives at The Dalles 1:15 p. m. Local
passenger leavos The Dalles at 2:00 p. m. arrives
at Portland at 7:00 p. m.
United Btates Officials.
President Grover Cleveland
Vice-President Ad ai Stevenson
u.. f utata W Alter O. Gresnam
Hecrotarj of Treasnry John O. Larliale
Secretary of Interior .. Hoke Smith
Secretary of War Daniel 8. Laniont
Secretary of Navy , Hilary A. Herbert
Postinaster-General Wilson 8. Biesell
Attorncy-lieneral ..Richard 8. Olnoy
Secretary of Agrioulture J. Sterling Morton
State of Oregon.
Governor .. .-g. Pennm-er
Secretary of State U W. Moliride
Treasurer. Phil. lletschan
Buot. Public Instruction .E. B. McElroy
J J. hi. sntcnel
Senators 5 J. N. Dolph
J Binger Hermann
Congressmen 1 w. R. Ellis
Printer FrBS,kP-Sker
Supreme Judges
. W.P. Lord
I It. B. Bean
Seventh Judicial District,
r.n i.,H0 W. L. BradBhaw
' I'mseoutinu Attorney A. A. Jayne
Morrow County Officials.
Joint Senator A. W. Gowan
Uepreeontative J-B. Knn'kbt
..nnty Jndge Jul Keithly
' Commissioner J. It. Howard
.1 M Unkar.
" rinrk ....J.W.Morrow
" Sheriff G.W.Harrington
I-. Frank trllliam
Assessor..'.'.' J. ' Willi;
Mnn..unr Geo. Lord
" School Sup't Anna Balsiser
Coroner T.W.Ayers.Jr
HEFPMKB TOWN OFFIOKBB,
Maiot ...P. O. Borg
Uouncihnes O. E. Farnewortn, m
Liohtenthal, Otis Patterson, Julius Keitnlj,
iv a T..l..tnn T T. Yuan.
Heoorder -F. J. Hallook
Treasurer A. M. Ounn
Marshal
Precinct Officers.
Justice of the Peaoe ., E. L. Freeland
Constable 8. Whetstone
United States Land Officers.
THE DALLES, OB.
J. F. Moore Register
A. 8. Bines Beoeiver
LA OBAHDE, OB.
B. F, Wilson Register
J.H. Kobbins Receiver
SZOBST aOOIBTIEG.
Dorln LnriM No. 20 K. of P. meets ev
ery Tuesday evening at 7.80 o'clock in
their Castle Hall, National Bank build
ing. Sojourning brothers cordially in-
1 vited to attend. A. W. Pattersoh. C. 0.
W. V. Chawfoud, of U.S. a. tt
RAWLINS POST, NO. 81.
G. A. B.
M -fete at Lexington, Or., the last Saturday of
ach month. All veterans are invited to join.
1 : C. Boon, Geo. W . Smith.
Adjutant. tf Commander.
L UMBER !
WE HAVE FOR SALE ALL KINDS OF UN
dressed Lumber, 16 miles of Heppner, at
what ll known as the -
BOOTT k. W IVCIXjXj.
PER 1,000 FEET, ROUGH, -
CLEAR, -
- . f 10 00
- 17 50
TF DELIVERED IN HEPPNER, WILL ADD
A 15.00 per 1,000 feet, additional.
L. HAMILTON, Prop,
O. A. Hamlltoiii Man'sr
National Bank ol Hewer.
WM. PENLAND. ED. B. BISHOP,
President. Cashier.
TRANSACTS A 6ENEEAL BANKING BUSINESS
COLLECTIONS
Made on Favorable Terms.
EXCHANGE BOUGHT & SOLD
HEPPNER tf OREGON
Defeats, Trade-marks, Design Patents, Copyrights,
And all Patent business conducted fcr
MODERATE FEES.
InformsUon sad sdvtce given to Inventors wltnon)
Skene. Address
PRESS CLAIMS CO.,
JOHNWEOOERBURN,
llsasgmf Attorney
. ft Box rTASHnraros. D. G
aWTMi CompMT Is managed by a combination of
t,e Unrest and most influential newipaner ln the
3i:el sates, for the r ipress pavpose of protect.
, tk,r Htaerlkm sgaiost OMcrupoloas
sou lacompetait Psat Agents, and earb Ppet
erutlng this savsrMsament voncbes for the Mspoost.
llltykiM't,1,p,,,:,lE,COT,,,'l,
0. R.&N.C0.
E. McNEILL, Receiver.
TO THE
BAST
GIVES THIS CHOICE
Of Two Transcontinental
VIA
Spokane Denver
MINNEAPOLIS OMAHA
AND , AND
St. Paul Kansas City
LOW RATES TO ALL
EASTERN CITIES.
Ocean Steamers Leave Portland
Every 5 Days For
SAN FRANCISCO.
For full details oall on O. R. & N.
Agi nt at Heppner, ( r addresB
W. H. HURLBURT,
Gen. Puss. Agt.
Portland, Oregon.
The comparativevalue of these twocarda
la known to most persons.
They Illustrate that greater quantity !
Not always most to be desired.
These cards express the beneficial qual
ity of
RipansTabules
As compared with any previously known
DYSPEPSIA CURB
ftipins Tabulea : Price, 50 cents a bor.
Of druggists, or by mail,
RIPANS CHEMICAL CO., 1 0 Spruce St., N.Y.
WISCONSIN CENTRAL LINES
Run Two Fast Trains Daily
Betweeu St. Paul. Minneapolis, and Chicago
Milwaukee and all points In Wisconsin making
connection in Chicago with all linos running
East and South.
Tickets sold and baggage checked through to
all points in the United States and Canadian
Provinces.
For full information apply to your nearest
ticket agent or JAS. C. POND,
Gen. Pass, andl'kt Agt., Milwaukee. Wis.
Most Modern and progressive
For caulogue or Information write to
THE MARLIN FIRE ARMS CO.,
New Haven, Conn.
ABSOLUTELY
SEWING
MACHINE
MADE
war An nrn nrlt rnti n aell
ron machine cheaper than yon can
get elsewhere. The NEW HOIK la
our beat, but we make cheaper kinds,
such aa the CLIAIAX, IDEAL and
other Hleh Arm Full Nickel Flaicd
Sewing Plachlneo Torl 6.00 an4 op.
Call on ear scant or write na. Wa
want your trade, and If piieea, ternia
and aquare deallnc will win, we will
have It. XT challenge the world
rrodace a BETTER 50.00 SewJ"
machine for 60.OO, or a better 20.
Sewlnc machine for 0.00 than you
can buy from aa, or our Acenta.
THE FEW HOME SEW1HG MACHIHE CO.
jj, ImriKO, C.L. ATUU.TA, UA.
FOR SALE BY
The New bwue sewing Mint (k
2ST Market 81, San Franciico. Cat
Sa'est, MlvaV L,hte,t
Simplest, JjjluiljV Easiest
Strongest, fsTXJ) I f3 Worltln
Receiver. jLSfr Compict.
MONEY
HEPPNER, MORROW COUNTY, OREGON, TUESDAY,
"As oM as
1 the hills" and
never excell
ed. "Tried
and proven "
is the verdict
0 f millions.
S i m m 0 ns
Liver Regu
lator is the
r. 0 TrP sV 'only Liver
JLtafC and Kidney
medicine to
which you
can pin your
(YJ ith for a
9dCTl 5, "d laxa
tive, and
purely veg
etable, act-j-v
7 7 ing directly
-' C on tiie Liver
JL lltO and Kid
neys. Try it.
Sold by all
Druggists in Liquid, or in Powder
to be taken dry or made into a tea.
The King of Liver Medicines.
" 1 have used your Simmons Liver Regu
lator and can eonscienclously say it Is the
king of ull liver medicines. I consider it a
medicine chest in itself.-GKo. W. Jack
son, Tucoma, Washington,
J9-EVERY PACKAGE'S
tias the Z Stamp in red on wrapper.
SCOO PARCELS OF MAIL" FREE
FOR 10 1-CENT STAMPS
will be tor 1 vear boiaiv
priniea on gummea
labels. Only IHrectory
guaranteeing 133,000
customers; iroiu pui
lUheni and nittnufac
turers vuu'll recciva
probably, thounandH 01
All fre and each nurce
with one of your printed address lubelf
tmBtea t nereon. -
also print and prepay pobtae on wo o.
vour label addrfthCB to you; wliicl
utick on your envelopes, books, etc., ti
. pi-event their b?iiiK Inst. J. A. Wahk
f of Ketdsville, N. U, writes: " b ron
I mv 2.1 cent addrcwln your l.ifc'l-.'niti;
Dirertcrv I'"e received nivsutt itd.lres'
taneirt aim over hifuif B-jr-i-.! "
'r-'.-jyr - il' addresses you seanerei
H- : ' nre nriviii dully, on viilimtile 'ifieL:
;,r r.iA of uia:i lromall i-aris of uie .tiu.
WORLD'S 'AIK Dl KECTORY C0.:
No. 147 FrankfoM and Glrard Avea. Philadel
phia, Pa.
QUIOK TITVt 13 !
TO
iStaxx Francisco
nd all ppinte in ( 'aIiforn ia, vLh the Mt. b-finatfe
route of the
Southern Pacific Co.
The BTftat hichway through ('aiifomia to all
points East find South. Grand Hiwnic Route
of the- Paoifio CoHtt. Pullman Bnffet
Hleepera. Secund-ulius Uleepere
Attachftd to express tminn, attording enpenot
ftocooimodatiuna for socDud-clane paasengent.
For rates, tioketa. slepiug oar reservatione,
etc.. call upon or addrees
R. KOEHLKR, Manager, E. P. ROOKRS, Absi.
Oeii. F. di P. Agt., Portland, Oregon.
CUT THIS OUT
NO. 2301.
Send this COUPON and
iC Cents to
THE HUYETT MUSIC CO,
269 Dearborn St., Chicago, 111.
And receive (post paid) ONE
PIECE OF MLHIC, of your own
choice, named below, or THREE
pieces for GO cents, or NIX pieces
for $1.00. Remit postal note or
one and two cent stamps.
This Coupon not good after
December 3lBt, 1S!H,
O
CL
3
o
The Latest Music
VOCAL.
Wedded After the Bali,. By Barney Fa-
pan 40 ct
Most popular Waltz Sonsr of the day.
Dedicated to Mr. C. K. Harirs, author
of "After the Ball "
A Dream of Arcadia. Waltz sons, Lanyon .5C ct
The song of all songs. Favorite of
Adelina Patti.
Moonmo m on the Lagoon, by Geo.
Schleiftarth 50 cts
LateBt popular success by tnls noted
composer.
THRE SOUTHERN HONGS: "Uncle
Dan," "Aunt Sis Tab," "Where My
Honey Hlekph," complete 75 etc
Three charming, plaintive and charac
teristic Southern Hours, written by
Col. Will L. Vlsscher, and arranged bv
W. Hebert Lanyon.
INSTRUMENTAL.
AT Eventide, Nocturne for piano, Mar
cus fiO cts
A very brilliant Nocturne, about
jrra'le 4-r.
In Flow'ry Groves, reverie for piano,
Marcus -t0 cts
Bcsutifiil reverie, original, and sure
to please.
aThe above are all flue editions of val
uable copyrights, and cannot be had in CHEAP
Coupons must accompany the order to secure
the reductions named.
A BEAR'S REVENGE.
An Old Grlwly Lies In Walt for the Poe-
slble Transgressor.
Mr. Theodore Roosevelt, writing of
grizzly bears in his book, "The Wilder-
ness Hunter, relates a story told him
by Dr. Merrill, of the I nited States
army. "A remarkable incident," Mr.
Roosevelt calls it. Dr. Merrill, in
company with an old hunter, was fol
lowing an elk trail in a deep, narrow
canyon.
On turning a corner of the canyon,
the two men were charged'en by an
old she grizzly, so close that it was
only by good luck that one of their
hurried shots disabled her and sent her
tumbling over a hank, where she was
easily finished.
They found that she had been lying
directly across the game trail, on a
smooth, well-beaten patch of bare
earth, which looked as if it baJ been
dug up, refilled, and trampled down.
Examining this patch curiously, they
Baw a bit of hide only partially cov
ered at one end, and on digging they
found the body of a well-grown grizzly
cub. Its skull had been crushed and
the brains licked out, and there were
signs of other injuries.
The hunters pondered lomr over this
ttranpe discm-err, and hazarded many
SaW
-v 3r? 1 mi 1
BR,
guesses as to its meaning. At last they
decided that probably the cub had
been killed and its brains eaten, either
by some old grizzly or by a cougar;
that the mother had returned and
driven away the murderer, and that
she had then buried the body and lain
above it, waiting to wreak her ven
geance ou the first pabser-by.
HURRYING UP JURIES.
Why Verdicts in IHstrict Courts Are Ren
dered nituout Delay.
Give a jury of six or twelve restful
men a comfortable, wen lighted ana
cool room, plenty of tobaoeo and ice
water, ami there is nothing by which
the judge or the counsel on either side
can fruapte the lime of deliberation.
Under such circumstances, says the
Newark Sunday Call, juries have been
known to remain out twelve hours on
a case involving one dollar and forty-
nine cents, and then come 111 with a
disagreement. There is such a thing,
however, as forcing a speedy verdict
by making the retiring room uncom
fortable. Freezing the jury is said to
have been" practiced with success in
Minnesota, where the counsel for the
defense "saw" the janitor, and it is
just possible that windows have been
nailed down to stew a lury into hasty
action in warmer climates.
So sucn precaution is necessary in
the new quarters of the district courts
in this city. The jury-room is a nar
row apartment, situated directly over
the boiler room, with one window
opening upon a narrow and breath
less alley, flanked by the dead wall of
the next building. It has not been in
sinuated that any lawyer has encour
aged the engineer to put on extra
steam when a jury was deliberating
over a case, but it is said that of late no
jury hus taken more than five minutes
to fry the fat out of any case which
has required discussion in this room.
It is used by both courts, and is the
only apartment accessible. Of course,
the doors must be shut when the jury
is deliberating, and then the window
does not admit the smallest of the
zephyrs which may by accident have
found a playground in the alleyway.
It is said that one lawyer announced
his intention of appealing a case be
cause the jury found a verdict four
minutes after the doors were closed.
One of the jurors says, however, that
there was a heated discussion over the
case during the short time the jury
was
WRESTLING WITH BIG WORDS.
English Servants Sometimce Make Queer
Attempts at Komenelature.
English gardeners are almost more
daring than the cooks in handling
long words. This comes, no doubt, of
their dangerous familiarity with Latin
names of plants, says the London
Globe. Not long ago in a malaprop
competition there appeared the follow
ing excellent specimen, racy of kitchen-
garden soil: "I'll profligate a dozen
or two more plants, and then I'll libel
them." A combination coachman
gardener is reported to have invari
ably alluded to an indispensable por
tion of carriage harness as the "lobelia
band." Indeed, from motives of deli
cacy or politeness, strange liberties are
taken with the queen's English, as,
for example, when my lady admired a
piece of pilot cloth at the local tailor's,
and was told that it was sometimes
"inquired for by ladies for peaman
tles." Anything out of the common in
nomenclature runs the risk of being
burlesqued by unskilled tongues. The
nurse who called her charges Miss
"Burial" and Miss "Jones" must have
made their mother wish she had nev
christened them Beryl and Joan.
Betsy and Jane they would have come
off all right. Horses, too, with line
names get strangely miscalled in the
stable. One pair known by their mas
ter asRustcm and Sohrab degenerated
first into "Rusty and Soreback," and
fell ultimately into the commonplace
as "the little horse and the docthor."
There is generally somebody a lady
as a rule in each district on whom its
finest malaprops are fathered, some
times quite unfairly. It is she who is
reported to have made that speech
about the glories of her father's house,
up to the door of which there rat a
"revenue of popular trees;" she who
asked her daughter to play that little
"malady" she had learned at the "cem
etery," and she again who pronounced
Mr. Brown as "proud as Luther."
A lury on a Strike.
The most remarkable case in Texas
legal history was tried recently at
Oakland before Justice Knlish Mrs.
Ella llalloway vs. J. II. Van Alstync,
says a Houston correspondent of the
St. Louis Globe-Democrat. The case
eousumed the day and was given to
the jury at night. Before retiring the
jury demanded that each man be puid
his fifty-cent fee. The justice de
murred anil ordered them to bring a
verdict or they would get no fee. The
jury retired and in fiiteen minutes en
tered court. They had a sealed verdict.
Before turning it over to the justice the
,nry struck for their hard -earned fees.
Under protest the justice guve each
juror fifty cents, lie opened I lie verdict.
winch read: "The jurv cannot .agree."
This enraged tin
urt. Ileilemandcd
the fifty cents eaeh juror had been
paid. The jury refused and the court
ordered them locked up until a verdict
was given pro or con. After being out
another hour the jury re-ported that
they were still unable to a;;ree. Judge
English then demanded the return of
the fees. The jurors refused to sur
render and a fine of two dollars and
fifty cents each was assessed and their
incarceration ordered. A compromise
was finally reached by four of the jury
returning the fees and the other two
paying the tine of two dollars and fifty
cents. The hi ler courts will be in
flicted with the case.
PASSING FANCIES.
Tin? Florida coast has a floating hotel.
which moves from place to pla-e
wherever the best fishing happens to be.
Mas. Jonssojr's home for cats at
Buena Vista, Cal., is splendid country
mansion, fit, for a millionaire's resi
dence, to which l.fxrf rei of (pounds
srft sttschad
OCTOBER 23, 1894. I
EDIBLE JbHSWlLES."
Turtles Which Contribute to the
World's Food Supply.
Monster Chelonlans That Frequent the
Ocean Depths and Freih Water Tor
toises Which Aro Highly Valued
la the Markets.
Forty-two species of tortoises in
habit the United States and adjacent
seas. They furnish nearly all of the
reptilian food supply of this country,
which is of great aggregate quantity,
and represents a value of hundreds of
thousands of dollars annually. Among
them, says the St. Louis Globe-Democrat,
are several gigantic kinds which
live in the ocean, and are remarkable
in many ways. These marine turtles
are specially adapted to an aquatic
mode of existence. Their bodies have
a specific gravity almost exactly equal
to that of the water in which they are
immersed, so that they are able to sus
tain themselves at the surface for any
length of time without fatigue. They
never go ashore except to lay eggs.
Their hind feet are used as rudders,
while the fore feet, with which they
propel themselves, have a motion sim
ilar to that of a bird's wings. In fact,
all their movements are more those of
flying than of swimming.
These giant turtles are found all
along the Atlantic coast, though it is
only in southern waters that they oc
cur in great numbers. One of the
most powerful of them is the logger
head, which attains a weight of six
teen hundred pounds. It is a rapid
swimmer and is often seen far from
land, floating on the waves asleep.
Carnivorous by nature, it feeds on crabs
and fishes, and especially on a large
species of conch, which it breaks with
its enormous jaws and devours in large
quantities. The flesh of this tortoise
is leathery and oily, with a strong
smell of musk. In the West Indies
formerly it was given to the slaves for
food. Young specimens, however, are
tolerably palatable, and are frequently
sold in the markets. A considerable
amount of oil may be obtained from
the loggerhead, but its rank odor un
fits it for use in cooking. It has been
employed to smear on the sides of ves
sels, which it is said to preserve from
shipworms, and to soften certain
leathers. The scales forming the shell,
though bigger than those of the tortoise-shell
turtle, are very thin and apt
to be wrinkled and filled with impuri
ties. On that account they are not usod
to any great extent in the arts.
The tortoise shell of the Florida and
Gulf coast is found in many other parts
of the world. 1 1 does not attain a weight
of more than three hundred pounds.
Its diet is exclusively vegetable, but it
is much more fierce than the carnivor
ous and harmless loggerhead. It bites
severely and inflicts painful wounds,
so that fishermen have to be on their
guard against its attacks. Tho scales
or plates that cover its bony shell form
the tortoise shell of commerce. They
are arranged in three rows, the central
containing fiv nlates and each of the
lateral rows four plates, ln addition
the margin of the shell has twenty
five small plates. The colors preferred
are mingled golden yellow, reddish
jasper and white or brown. A variety
in which much white occurs is highly
esteemed, especially by the Chinese. It
is known as "blonde shell." The best
tortoise shell comes from the Indian
archipelago. The material is imitated
beautifully in cow's horn, so that only
an expert can tell the difference.
Combs made from the golden yellow
under shell of this tortoise arc eagerly
sought by Spanish ladies, fetching
from fifteen to twenty dollars apiece.
Another great marine tortoise is the
green turtle, famous in soup. In size
it comes between the loggerhead and
tortoise-shell, reaching a weight of one
thousand pounds. It lives mostly in
deep water, feedingon plants, especial
ly on one culled "turtle grass." This
it cuts off near the roots, to procure the
most tender and succulent part, which
alone is eaten, while the rest of tho
plant floats to the surface and is there
collected in large fields a sure indica
tion that the feeding ground of the an
imals is near. The latter, after brows
ing for awhile in these pastures of sea
weed, seek the mouths of rivers to
bathe in fresh water, which seems to
be necessary for them from time to
time, hi Honda the green turtle is
said by turtle fishers to enter the
creeks which abound on Hint coast,
and, having eaten its fill of the sea
grass growing there, to roll together
masses of it as big as a mun's head,
which it cements with clay. Then,
when the turn of the tide takes the
ball out to sea, the turtle follows it,
feeding on it. When, therefore, the
fishermen find any of these balls float
ing down a creek, they at once spread
a strong net across the mouth and al
ways secure a number of the tortoises.
The flesh attached to the upper shell is
known in cookery as "calipash," while
that attached to the lower shell is
called "calipee."
There are a good many families of
edible fresh water tortoises which live
in rivers, ponds and marshes. Among
these arc several species of soft-shelled
turtles, which are frequently seen in
the markets, their flesh being said to
be even superior to the green turtle.
They are taken with hook and line,
snapping greedily at any kind of fish.
They feed on small fishes, snails and a
variety of vegetable matter. Most fre
quently they arc seen along the mar
gins of sluggish and shallow streams,
wooing sweet repose in the voluptuous
and buxom mud-bank. It is said that
some of them do much damage in po
tato fields situated near water courses
which they inhabit, since they are very
fond of browsing on the stems of the
plants.
PUNISHMENTS FOR CRIME.
Or the 1,400 prisoners in the Illinois
state prison at, Joilet, one-third are
reported to be sulfering from consump
tion.
Tin: Sglie law hud in all 8i:t penal
artieles: ',."0 ii!utif; t-i robbery, 7-1 of
which n terrwt to tp euing of ani
ens,!: tlil rUUilMrutii (gamut tbo
person.
Highest of all in Leavening Power.
ABSOLUTELY PUBE
The Achievement of Medical
Science tar More Wonder
ful Than the Magic of
the East.
THE KEUHKKABLE KXl'KUIKNCE OK
POSTMASTKB WOODSON, OF PANAMA,
MO.-FOR TEN YEARS A CMP
PLE TODAY A WELL AND
HEARTY MAN.
(From the Kansas City Times.)
The people of Kioli Hill, Mo., and
vicinity, have recently been startled by
a Beaming mirsole of healing. For
ye are one of the best known men in
Bates and Veruou counties has been
Mark M. Woodson, now postmaster at
Panama, and brother of ex-State In
spector of Mines, 0. 0. Woodson, of this
oily. The people of K'oh Hill,
where be formerly resided, and
of bis present borne, remember
well the bent form, misshapen
almost from the semblaDce of man
which has painfully bowed its bead balf
to earth and labored snail-like across
the walks season after season, and when
one day last month it straightened to its
full height, threw away the heavy butt
of oiino which for years bad been its
ouly support from- total helplessness,
and walked ereot, firmly, unhesitatingly
about the two 01 ties, people looked and
wondered . The story of. the remarkable
case has become the marvel of the two
counties. Exactly as Mr. Woodson told
it to a Times reporter, it is here pull
lished :
"For ten years I have suffered the
torments of the damned and have been
a useless invalid ; today I am a well and
hearty man, free from almost every
touch of pain, I dnn't think man evei
suffered more acute and constant agony
than I have since 1884. The rheumatism
started then in my right knee, and after
weeks of suffering in bed I was at last
relieved sufficiently to arise, but it was
only to get about ou crutches for five
veers, the ailment having settled in the
joint. Despite constant treatment of
the most eminent physicians the rhen
matisin grew orse, and for thelast four
years I have been compelled tu go about
bent balf wsy toward tbe ground. In
the winter of ISrtO-iH, after tbe rheums
tisni bad settled into its most ohronio
form, I went to Kansas City upon advice
of my brother, and for six weeks I was
treated in 011.1 o the largest and best
known dispensaries of that city, but
without the slightest improvement
Before I cam borne I secured a strong
galvanio battery, this 1 used for mnntb
with the same result. In August, 1892
I went to Ht Louis, snd there conferred
with the widly kuown Dr. Mudd of
bopuitul nractioe fame, and Dr. Kale of
tbe city hospital. None of them would
take my oase with any hope of affording
me more than temporary relief, aud so
came home, weak, doubled with pain
helpless aud despondent.
About this time my attention was
called to the account of a remarkable
cure bv Dr. Williams' Pink Pills fo
pale people of looomotor ataxia, rhenma
tiam nnd tmralvsia. I ordered some of
the pills as an experiment. When
began to take them, the rheumatism bad
developed iuto a phase of paralysis; my
leg from the thigh down wnsoold all tbe
time and oould not be kept warm. 1
a short lime the pills were gone and 1
was the Dane. I was able to attend I
tbe duties uf my office, to get about as
well and strniiii man. I was free from
rmin and I could enjoy a sound an
restful night's sleep, something I hi
Dot known for ten years. Today am
praotioully, aud, I firmly believe, per
manently oured of my terrible Bn
Mimnzmj ailment. No tnagioiau of tb
far Kast ever wrought tbe miracle it
hi wand that Dr. Williams' Pink Pill
did for me."
To verify the story beyond all qiit'sliuu
of doubt Mr Woochon made the follow
ing affidavit:
Htatr of Mibhoiki,
County cf Bates es
I, M. M. Woodson, being duly sworn
on my oath state that the following
statements are true and correct as I
verily believe.
M. M. Woodson.
Subsonbsd sud sworn to before me
this 3d day of March, 1801.
John D. Moomi, Notary Public.
Dr. Williams' Pink Pills for pale
people are manufactured by tbe Dr.
Williams' Medicine Company, Bobeoeo
ta ly, N. T., and are sold only iu boxe-
bearing the firms tmde mam una
wrapper, at 50 oents a box or six line
for $2 .fiO. Hear Id miud that t
Williams' Pink Pills are tev. r sold In
balk or by tbe dozen or baadred, Bad
spy dstler who offeri mbetilatyi in this
WEEKLY rlO. fi07. i
SEMI-WEEKLY NO. 877.1
Latest U. S. Gov't Report
form is trying to defraud you and should
ha avoided. Dr. Williams' Pink Pills
ay be had by all druggists or direct by
mail from Dr. Williams' Medioiue Co.
INDIAN NAMES
London Newspapers rind Their Spelllnc
a Matter of Dllnculty-
The London newspapers occasion
considerable mirth to their Indian con
temporaries by the spelling of Indian
words. It appears that, in reference
to the native princes and noblemen
who were present at the opening of
the Imperial institute, we tried to
strike out on an original line, but were
only able to spell "Gackwar" in seven
different ways, and "Bhownugger" in
four. Indian papers, it seems, are not
wholly successful. We still occasionally
see "1'una" ana "roona," - liinau ana
Hindoo," "Dacoit" and "Dakait," and
so on, according to the taste and fancy
of the speller.
ln a supplement to the Bombay Gov
ernment Gazette we now have a re
vised alphabetical listof Madras place
names, which Ib "to be strictly adhered
to." In this list, while retaining such
monstrosities as Birukkazhikkunram,
Suncaraperumalkoyil, Gannamanayak
kanur and Ammayanayakkanur, a
large proportion of the popular ver
sions are retained, with the thin dis
guise of a "K" for a "C." Three-and-twenty
out of the thirty-six pages of
the Notification are occupied by a list
of place-names "in which the system
of transliteration has been followed,
and a wonderful list it is.
A Joke Tried by Jury. i
A North Carolina paper tells the
following: At Harnett county superior
court, a few years since, Judge Shipp
presiding, the trial of a cause had been
protracted till near midnight. The
jury was tired and sleepy and showed
flagging attention. Willie Murcmson,
who was addressing the jury, thought
to arouse them, so he said: "Gentle
men, I will tell you an anecdote." In
stantly the judge, the jury and the few
spectators pricked up their ears and
were all attention, as M,urchlson was
admirable in that lino, had a fund of
anecdotes and no one could tell them
better. But he son proceeded to tell
one of the dullest, prosiest and most
pointless jokes possible. Everybody
looked disappointed. The judge, lean
ing over, said in an unmistakable tone
of disappointment: "Mr. Murchison, I
don't see the point to that joke." "Nor
, either," replied the witty counsel.
But your honor told it to me on our
way down here and as 1 thought the
lack of appreciation must be due to my
obtuseness I concluded to give the joke
a trial by jury."
SLEPT FOR FIVE MONTHS.
The Horning- of a Tonsil Cures a Ntrange
Case of Lethargic sleep.
A curious case of lethargic sleep
which lasted for five months has just
:ome to the attention of the Hypnotic
and Psychological sociuty in ram,
which both they and the doctors aro
unable to explain. A thirteen-year-old
girl of an excellent provincial family is
the subject of this curious experience.
While at boarding school she was sud
denly frightened and became ill. She
was examined by the celebrated Prof.
Charcot and admitted to the insane
asylum of Dr. Kaffegeau at Vesiuet.
At this time the girl uttered a series of
hoarse barks, aud her wide-open mouth
disclosed a highly swollen right tonsil.
Lverv nve minutes sue was seized with
a spasm, during which she rubbed her
left eyebrow so hard witn ner leu nana
that she nearly wore it away. She was
completely unconscious, and hal to be
nourished artificially by means of a
stomach tube. Three days after reach
ing Vesinet she fell into syncope, which
it was impossible to disturb by any
physical pain. Massage and hydro
pathic treatment pnxluced a visible Im
provement, but It was not until a few
days ago that the proper remedy was
discovered. Dr. Ilaffegeau cauterized
the swollen tonsil with a redhot iron
and at the same time treated the mus
cles under the jaw with massage. The
girl gave a little scream when the iron
was applied. Homo hours later she was
Induced to repeat the vowelH after the
physician. Next morning she suddenly
awoke, asking: "Where am I?" She had
absolutely no recollection of what had
occurred about her. She is now more
lively than before her illness, talks in
cessantly and seems anxious to make
up for the time she had lost by her
amusing herself as much as possible.
IMctured In Words.
The Bronx Valley, for many miles of
its course, is a marvel of fog and cloud
effects these winter mornings. When
neighboring hills have long emerged
into the clear suulight the depths of
I the valley just along the stream
arc still claa in tnicu clouas, mixed
with fog, and with smoke and steam
from tho hundreds of railway trains
that ceaselessly speed up and down the
valley. The deepest parts of the val
ley, as seen from near hillsides, seem
level full with an almost snow-white
fluid mist, and this trails in long strata
across the face of wooded hillsides,
with rifts here aud there that give
glimpses of bareheaded tree trunks. A
few miles southward, where the valley
broods in the east, Bronx Park looms,
fairy-like, through thinning mist, and
the sun floats, round and pale, shorn of
1 its keener rays, while, just below, the
picturesque grounds mid buildings pf
St. John's college at t'or-ilhuin take 00
a quaint and antique aji- that datibles
theif charm.
Baking