Ml U 11 11 1.1 1 I I 1 1 1 1 I I I I I I H1IMII II I I II HIMM r J I VOTE FOR I PAP E K OFFICIAL F. J. HALLOCK 1 George Harrington j FOR BHEniPP j 2l I Mil II 1.1 J.M I Ml 1 1 1 1 1 l 1 1 1 1 1 1 1. 1 1 HI . , l ftliM Is tlio Man FOE CLERK ''HMIIIIIIIIIIIIIUIIIIIIIHHHMIIIIII IIHIHl TWELFTH YEAR HEPPNER, MORROW COUNTY, OREGON, TUESDAY, MAY 29, 1894. i WEEKLY WO. 5SS.I ! SEMI-WEEKLY NO. 236.1 SEMI-WEEKLY GAZETTE. fOBLIBHID Tuesdays and Fridays BY THE PATTERSON PUBUSHKG COMFAM. ALVAH W. PATTERSON Bat. Managei OTIS PATTERSON Editor At $'2.Si per year, $1.25 fur biz months, 75 ote. for turee tnoutns. Advertising Rates Made Known on Application. The " " of Long Creek, Cirau County, Oregon, U published by the name com pany every Friday morning, rfubueriptlo. rice, I'iper year. ForadvertlsiugrateH.addreB' 2air Xj. Es-A-a?X3SieoiT, Kditor an. Manager, Long Creek, Oregon, or "(iazette," Heppner, Oregon. THIH PAPER 1b kept on tile at E. C. Dake'i Advertising Agency, tU and 85 rtlerchaut Exchange, tiau 1? raiiciuco, California, wuereuou racte for advertising can be made for it. THE GAZETTE'S AG NTS, Wagner, B. A. Hunsake 1 .1?.......- UV.J1I Un.ir.,.,. AIllllLUll, t iuiii iicfi-nit Long Creek, The hagl EollO, 1'OBttl.ttSt I CamaB Prairie, Osuar Ue Van Nye, Or H. U. Wrlgh Hardman, Or., 1'ob in sit' Hamilton, Grant Co., Or., PostniacU- ione, 1. J.t'ai Prairie City, Or. R. R. MeHale; Canyon City, Or 6. L. I'urrist ruui iwuitj j. Dayville, Or., J. E. duov. jonn uay, ur., r. . mcluhuh Athena. Or John Ediniftoii Pendleton, Or., PoHtmaetei Mount Vernon, Grant Co., Or., Postmaatei Shelby. Or.. MIbb Stella Fleti Fox, Grant Co., Or., J. F. Aliei Eight Mile, Or., MrB. Andrew Aehbaugl Upper Uhfctt Creek, B. F. Ilevlam Douglas, Or PoBtinaatei Lone Kock, Or R. M. Juhutioi Goiweberry J. K. J te. Condon, Oregon; Herbert tlalsteac: Lexington Jas. Leaeli AN AGENT WANTED IN EVERY PBKUNCT. Union Paofic Railway-Local card. No, 10, mixpd leaves Heppner 9:45 p. m dailj except Sunday iu, ar. at Willows Jo. p.m. 0, " leaves ' a m. " y, " ar. at Heppner 5:0u a. na, dail except Monday. East bonnd, main line ar. at Arlington 1 :?8 . m West " " ieavea " l:vM. m West bonnd kral fr-'igh leav e Arlington 8 35 a. m.. arrives nt The 1) i lies 1:1 i D. m. Luca. passenger leaves Th- Dalle ac a:tw p. m. arnv b ax, roruana ai (mj p m. United titates OffielaM. President.... Grover Clevftlanri VHie-Prebident. Ad ai CPevPUBoi fcjeu'-erjiry of fciiate Waiter Q Grettham Secretary of Treasury JoLn li. (.'arlisl Secretary of Interior Hoke Sum, Secretary of War...... Darnel B. Latuoiii Heitmtnrv of Navv. Hilary A. Her lien Potituiusier-Uenerai. ....... .... Wili-ou 8. Bimwli Attorney-General molmrd a. ulue.t tincretury of Agriculture J. ttterliug Jiono. State of Oregon. Governor S. Pennoyei Secretary of Stale G. W.McBnai Treasurer Phil, Uetsotiai 8upt, Public instruction .... H, McElruj uaT,f. 5 J H.MiLchei Hf,nator8 J. N.Dolph f, J Hinger Hermant. Congressmen w KUia Printer Frank C. Bakei i F. A. Muun Supreme .Judges VV. P. ijord H. S. Beau Seventh Jadicfal IHMtrlct. Circuit Judge W. L. Bradshaw Prosecnung Attorney W. H. Wila i Morrow Cuunty OihViuK join. Senator Henry Blackmai liopreouotative J- N. Browi i i.nnry Judge Julius Konhlx CommibsionerB Geo. W. Vincent J.M. Baker. Clork J. W. Morrow Hheriff Geo. Noble Treasurer W. J. L eze; AbBeaeor H. L. haw " Purveyor Isa Browi. ' School Sup't W.L.Salin " Coroner T. W. Ayers, J i HEPPNER TOWN OFFIOEES. yiayot ...J. n.Simonp Counriiiiien O. E. Farnsworth, m Lich ten thai, Otis Patterson, Julius Keithly W. A. Johneton, J. L. Yeager. Recorder A. A. Robert Treasurer K. G- Slocum Marshal J. W. Rasmuh. Precinct Officer?. JuBtice of the Peace F. J. Hallock Constable C, W. Ruhard Unltd Stateit Land Officers. THE DALLES, OR, 3, W. Lewis Rgisi T.B.Lang - lteceiv I LA GRANDE, OB. B.F, WPsnn Regi-ter J. H Kobbins RBceivei SECRET SOCIETIES. Doric Lodge Nt. 20 K. of P. meet ev ery Tuenday evening at 7.30 o'clock it their Castle HaU, National Hank build ing. Sojourning bnthn cor-hBllv in vitPd to Htti'Md. J. N. Bhown. W. V. CaAWFOBD, K. 1 K. & tf KAWUNS POST, N J. 81. G. A. R. Meets at Lexington, OrM the last Saturday of ach month. All veterans are invited to Join. C. C. Boon, Geo. W . Smith. Adjutant. tf Commnndpr. tek Trade-marls, Dssigi Fstents, Copjrighfe And all Patent bufcesfl conducted fcr MODERATE FEES. Jni" irn)tir;n and advlcp elvcn to inventors withoo" sfr-.Txr- Adttrew PSS GLAIfVi3 CO., UOHtf WEOOiRBURN, ATanagin: Attorney, 'X ii,3S 403. WAiairTGTOS. D.C i"";.: - ''v.-;;-3-t ;s -nsnag' b- a c-t."' nation o r"., ' r.'i ;:' t iLi.! lerti.i iir. ;n r? in (h - - -. i-M? pr'noi-' cr pi'tttcel i-- ? i":?-5r ss ;i-r ii;r...'ast aj t rtpr.ioa f : :i . ii .v. n, srJ cuih papa fT'i-' r.n Oil - -i Ivc-'ii-iacr-tvoac'-c. rrtV r-.sss! -'ii; ?.r, : uJ;'-. -:u vV.itu .he lessC'tirnaCinnaniT Where? At Abrahamnick's. Id addition to hip tailoring bnoineee, be has added a fine line of underwear of at kinds, neirligp birta, hoierv. etc. Also baa on band one eleaant patterna for aaits. A. Abrahamaiok, May akreet, Happner.Or. V Year's Subscription to a Pop ular Agricultural Paper GIVEN FREh TO 0URREADERS By a special arrangement with the publishers we are prepared to furnish t'KEE to each of our readers a year's lubscription to the popular monthl) iKrioulmrul journal, the American Fabmeb, published at Bpringfield and Cleveland, Ohio. This offer is ade to any of our sub- on be i a who will pay up all arrearage u subscription and one year in advanoe, iud to any new subscribers who will pa) ue yeai in advanee. The American p'armer enjoys a large national eironla- mn, and ranks among the leading .(rrieulturnl papers. By this arrange nent it COSTS YOU NOTHING to re- eive the American Farmer for on. ear. It will be to your advantage ti tall promptly. Sample eopies can bi i en at our office. Til Orielnal D1GTI0HHBY . I)Y SPECIAL. ARRAN'CiEMENT WITH TH L publishers, ( a. e a jle to obtain a numbei tf th above book, u.iU propose to furnish t Kpy to eacn oi our suoscrioers. The dictionary is a necessity in every home school and business house. It tills a vacancy tud furnishes knowledge which no one nun Ired other volumes of the choicest books couh uiddIv. Youueand old. educated and ie-norant .-ich and poor, Bhould have it within reach, ana reier 10 us conieius every uay in tne year. As some have asked if this is really the Orig uial Webster's Unabridged Dictionary, we an ible to state we have learned direct from tht publishers the fact, that this is the very work -.omulete on which about forty of the best ye&rt i cne autnor b uie weresoweii emptoyea li .vrltiiig. It contains the entire vocabulary o t bout 100.000 words, including the correct SDell- ug, derivation and definition of same, and it ne regular HULiiuaru bizu, coutaiiune aoou OU.UOO square inches of printed surface, and it uund iu cloth half morocco aud sheep. Until further notice we will furnish th n aluable Dictonary First To any new subscriber. Second To any renewal subscriber. Third To any subscriber now in arrears who pays up and one year in advance, ai .he touowing prices, viz: Full Cloth bound, g'lt side and act stamps marbled edges $i-oo, Half Mo occo, bound, gilt side and bad namps, marbled edges, $1.50. Full Sheep bouna leather lael, - marbleo jdges, $2.00 Fifty cents added in all cases for express tge to Heppner. rAs the publishers limit the time and lumoer 01 dooks cney win inrmsnattne low arices, we advise all who desire to avail them selves of this great opportunity to attend to li 11 once. SIJLVKK'S CIIA.MPION ;ihe Rocky-. -Mountain -:-News THE DAILY BY MAIL Subscription price reduced as follows: One Tear (by mail) : : $6 00 Six Months " : : 3 00 Three Months " : 1 50 One Month " : : 50 THE WEEKLY BY MAIL. One Year in Advance) : $1 00 The News Is the only consistent c.iairpion of silver in the VVeBt. and should be in every home hi the West, and in tbu hands of every miner mil business man in Colorado. Send in your subscriptions at once. Address, THE INTEXtra. Donver. Colo L UMBER ! TK HAVE FOR SALE ALL KINDS OF UN vV dressed Lumber, 16 miles of Heppner, at hat is known as the 3COTT SA-CCXUEXXiXj. PER 1,000 FEKT, KO!OH, - 10 00 - 17 60 " " CLEAR, F DELIVERED IN HEPPNER. WILL ADD I6.U0 per 1,000 feet, additional. L. HAMILTON, Prop. O. A Ham litotii Maner THE WISCONSIN CENTRAL LINES Run Two Fait Traini Daily Between St. Paul, Minneapolis, and Chicago Milwaukee and all points In Wisconsin maki.i? connection in Chicago with all lines running East and South. Tickets sold and baggage checked through to all points In the United States and Canadian Provinces. For full information apply to your nearest tUket agent or JAS. C. POND, Ota. Paaa. andTkt Aft., Xillwank, Wis, Webster s Unabridged "As old as i the hills" and never excell ed. "Tried and proven " is the verdict of millions. Simmons Liver Regu tj lator is the rI1ony Liver JfOffO and Kidney medicine to which you can pin your wmi ' faith for a DdH m" U 'laxa tive, and purely veg etable, act tt 7 ing directly A-' C on the Liver J- and Kid neys. Try it. Sold by all Druggists in Liquid, or in Powder to be taken dry or made into a tea. ' The King of Liver Medicines. "I have used your Simmons Liver Regu lator and cun cuiiHuienclougly say it is the king of :ill liver medicines, I consider it a medicine chest in itself. Gko. W. Jack son, Tacoma, Washington. O-EVEKT PACKAGE'S &as the Z Stamp tn red on wrappeit quiob: Tiivria i TO Sun Franelsoo Vud all points In California, via the Mt. tihasta route of the Southern Pacific Co. I'he frreat highway through California to all points East and South. Grand Scenic Route of tho Paoifio Coast. Pullman Buffet Sleepers. Second-class Sleepers Attached to express trainB. affording superior '-ccommodations for second-class passengers. For rateB, tickets, sleeping car reservations, 'to, call upon or address i. KOEHLER, Manager, E. P. ROGERS, Asst. en. F. & P. Agt. Portland, Oregon. Um u$ oi HepDner. WM. PENLANO, KD, R. BISHOP, President. Cashier. ritANSACTS A GENERAL BANKING BUSINESS COLLECTIONS EXCHANGE BOUGHT & SOLD IEPPNER. OREGON Free Medicine ! i Guidon Opportnnity for Suffering Humanity. Physicians Give their Remedies to the People 00 YOU SUFFER ? ZTrfrieX will send you FREE OF CHAKGE a full course of specially prepared remedies best suited to your case. We want your recommendation. We can cure the most aggravated diseases of both sexes. Our treatment tor all diseases and leformities are modern and scientific, acquired by many year'8 experience, which enables ub to Guarantee a Cure. Do not despair. N. B.- We have the only positive cure for Ep ilepBy (fits) and Catarrh. References given. Permanently located. Old established. Dr. Williams Medical aid Boroical Insti tute, 719 Market Street, Ban Francisco, Cal. ARE rOU ANY GOOD AT PUZZLES ? The genius who Invented the "Fifteen" puz zle, "Pigs In Clover' and many otherB, has in- vented a brand new one, which is going to be the greatest on record. There Is fun, Instruc tion and entertainment in it. The old and learned win And as much mystery in It as the voting and unsophisticated. ThiB great puzzle s the property of the New York Press Club, for whom it was invented by Bamuel Loyd, the .treat puzzlelst, to be Bold for the benefit of the movement to erect a great home for newspaper workers in New York. Generous friends have given $25,D0ain prizes for the successful puzzle solvers. TEN CENTS sent to the "PreBs Club Building and Chrrity Fund," Temple Court, New York City, will get you the mystery by return mall. Made In all styles and sizes. Ughtest, I strongest, easiest working, safest, simplest, most accurate, most compact, and most modern. For sale by all dealers in arms. Catalogues mailed free by Tie Marlin Firs Arms Co., New Haveh, Conk., V. S. A. UmtANYLADY can get valuable secret that j Mrs. V. M. APP. CO. fiat mt. 91. m rill at F11 fsIaAP ftmeiU lOrJULamU 8M PIE STUFF T. ST. mmtiw, mu. ' 6'y-i:) PARCELS OF MAIL" till v jiUnil FOR 10 1-CEMT STAMPS jurwiular price toe. your wl 3ai drew If received within W "J days will be for 1 year boldly Libels. Only nirecery guaranteeing 1X5,004 customers; from put lisheni and ni&ntifiu turrit you'll receive, probably, tbousandn 01 vaiiiitble Virioks. papenv aUimples.magiizliientc. I free a.) id nu'b D&rr. ts.'.Tznai with oneofyourpnniea wmrem mmi Jfr$&ll pasted thereon. EXTBA! We wit tTfri 'SL alfto print and prepay postal on VO rr. vmr label addrewe to you; bici nick on your envelopes, books, en:., u nroi-onf lht.r hlna UiHL J. A. WHK 3 of KeicUvilie, C., writes : " Fr-ir m 'ii cent ad4 rest tnymir MKbti.in U'lfi!,jPi and over 3M Ian-U r,t 'lr.';'teS-.jt.t Sisilt. My addrfvs you witt'-r'-.- iw art? nrriviiia dailv. on vulnat.lt-; ai-1 !i WORLD'S fAlK DIRECTORY CO., No. 117 Frankford and Girmrd Aves. Phlladel phi. Pa. V 1 '"jyJjg 1 MISSOITRI SNAKE CATCHERS. A. Queer Industry Carried On Along the Mississippi The fteptlles Forsake the Low Land In Xb Fall and Seek the DluDs, Where They Hibernate Through Winter. The cool fall weather affords the careful observer a fine opportunity for noting one of the curious things in nature the migration of snakes, says the Alton correspondent of the St. Louis Republic. These reptiles look up their winter quarters, and these quarters in this vicinity may be found in the bluffs which line the river bank above the city. All the snakes which spend the summer in the bottom lands of Missouri point, just opposite, make their way across tho river to the bluffs, where they hibernate until the gentle breezes of spring thaw them out, when they slip down the shale and debris which underlie the bluffs and again seek the lowlands. The crossing of the river is a very simple matter for them. They simply swim over, and many are killed by fishermen while making this crossing. An old resident of the bluffs above this city states that he has seen the time in November when the river could not be crossed in a skiff, especial ly in the middle of the (lay when il was warmest, without at least a dozen snakes being seen swimming for the bluffs, and ho has frequently killed a half dozen rattlesnakes with an oar while going to and from Alton. A hunter along these bluffs lntely saw an old man who appeared to be looking very intently at the water with a field-glass, and, curious to dis cover what it meant, joined him at the edge of the water. The man had with him besides the field-glass a heavy sack and a curious pair of long wooden tongs, and in answer to questions sa' he was a snake catcher, watching the surface of the water the while. Presently he sighted a snake swim ming for shore a short distance abov.i where he was standing, and proceeded to meet him with his tongs, with which he picked up the snake as he landed. It proved to be a black snake, and was dropped into the sack without further ado. During the next hour ho caught two water snakes, a garter snake and a spreading udder. The last he put in his sack and turned out the others, saying that they were "no good." The old man had grown quite friend ly by this time, and a visit, by invita tion, was paid to bis cabin boat, in the back room of which he had corraled over fifty live and hissing sna::es, which he said he sold to a party ta.-SV. ttralavwhoi&ia them ' to others -tor" different purposes. The trick of -catching them he had learned when a boy from Indians, who would come down to the bluffs and catch rattlesnakes as they crossed the river. These Indians used to catch them with boats, and sold them to a man at the fort. He had learned something that the In dians did not know, however, and that is that a man can catch more snakes along the shore with half the work, Snake catching Is followed every fall of the year here by a number of men who appear to find recreation, excite ment and profit in the occupation, while at the same time they are rid ding the neighborhood of some very undesirable visitors and thus con ferring a benefit on their fcllowman. MUMBLING LECTURERS. How English Audlpnc. Are Entertained by Muu of Science. Nothing can surpass the patience of the British audience at certain of these lectures. We have been present, says . writer in the London Globe, on one such occasion when a distinguished, but perfectly unintelligible, member of the Royal society engrossed the at tention of about nine hundred ladies and gentlemen from eight o'clock until ten. What he was saying no one knew. He mumbled on unremittingly and the company loudly applauded him in the intervals, when he drew breath for a fresh lease of incoherence. But he held a long rod in his hand and periodically he raised it and pointed at, an enigmatic agglomeration of lines, which were believed to be an illustra tion. This of itself alone would have satisfied his audience, coupled, of course, with the spectacle of his own respectable person. And when the lecture was over the secretary compli mented the old gentleman on his most instructive discourse, there was a rush of eager seconders of I .e resolution, and the general public streamed out, yawning and happy. This gentleman received twenty-five guineas for his effort, and it is not known to this day. what he was talking about. There is no civilization in the world to equal that of the average provincial audience at a lecture. It tolerates ail things uncomplainingly. We have known these kindly people endure a long se ries of lantern slides upside down with out a murmur, though their pictorial matter was believed to be of a very ex citing nature. Fortune's I re ik. In unexpected turns of the wheel of fortune, elevating the unknown to places of power and dethroning the mighty without warning France leads the nations, not excepting America, where the grandson of the millionaire may black boots for the grandson of the crossing sweeper. The installation of Mme. Grevy in the Elysee is a happy Instance. Mhe was the daughter of a tanner, and earned her living in Paris as a bonnet maker. When she married, her whole fortune was less than five hundred dollars; at her death she leaves something like a quarter of a million to her daughter. 8he did not Invent an ancestry with her promotion, nor assume fine airs with her rich gowns. Her manners were character lied by simplicity, her accounts were carefully audited to the smallest de tail, ana sne set her face against court etiquette. XV Subscribe (or tlx Gazam. ANTIQUITY OF SHORTHAND. It rFas In Use Before the Beginning of the ( hrlstlan Era. Cicero is said to have been the in ventor of shorthand writing, and the freedman, Jlarcus Tullius Tiro, his frieud, the first stenographer, and he undoubtedly did use a method of short hand writing as early as 60 B. C. The first English treatise was by Timothe Bright, entitled, "An Arte of Shorte Swifte and Secrete Writing by Charae ture, Inuented by Timothe- Bright, Doctor of Phisike, Imprinted at Lon don by 1. Windct, the assignee of Tim Bright, 1588. Cum priuilcgio Regiae Maiestatis. Forbidding all others to print ilie same." Dr. Bright in this vork says: "Cicero did account it worthie his labour, and no less profita ble to the Roman common weale (Most Gracious Soueraigne) to inueut a speedio kinde of wryting by character, as Plutarch reporteth in the life of Cato tho younjer. This inuention was in creased afterward by Seneca that the number of characters grue to 7,000. Whether through inure of time, or that the men gaue it over for tediousness of learning, nothing remaineth extant of Cicero's inuention at this day." The stenographer who recalls the efforts required to properly master the few characters used in the art to-day will wonder that of Cicero's system, with its 7,000 characters, nothing re mains at this day. It was not until 104:2, according to the New York World, that the art became of any practical use, and it was first used in the house of lords in 1099 in taking testimony in a divorce suit. Stenographers were not regularly employed in parliament, however, until 180J. In many of the public Bchools of the country stenography is a part of the training. An evidence of its recent re markable growth is shown by a circu lar issued by the bureau of education issued at Washington. Here it is shown that from July 1, 1889, to June 30, 1890, 57,375 persons received instruc tion in the art of shorthand in schools and colleges in the United States. Five thousand five hundred and fifty of these were iirNew York and Brooklyn. A lilce circular was issued by tho bu reau in 1884, in which It was shown that during tho year 1882 the number of pupils receiving instruction was 12, 470. it is therefore quite safe to say that the number for 1893 exceeded 75, 000. But this number does not take into consideration an army probably equally large who receive instruction from some other source or from pro fessional stenographers. Out of this vast army, however, but a very small minority are either physically or men tally qualified to become court report ers or even office ajsmmss "--jl - ' 1 --:-' SHORT BUT QUEER RAILROAD. A Line In i alUopnl Where the Grade la Six Feet In a Hundred. California has a railroad so unique that the most expert "railroad man" in the world would be unable to name it should he accidentally happen upon it at a time when the cars and engine were not in sight. The word "engine" is used advise'llv. for. according to the St. Louis Republic, there is no danger of encountering more than one piece of machinery of that class upon this extraordinary "thoroughfare," and should you come in contact with the entire force of men with which the road is equipped you could count the en tire "gang" on the fingers of one hand. This west coast curiosity lies in, or rather runs up and down, a portion of San Benito county, extending from Burt's lime kiln to Tres Pines, in what is known as the Gavilan ramge. The road is of the "bicycle" or siugle track variety, the engines and cars sitting vtry low upon the rail. The rail is of the slot pattern, not unlike that seen on cable railways, the wheels of both the engine and the cars having a tongue of steel which works In the groove. In addition to this each wheel has a fiange on both sides, and, the whole track being of but one rail, the wheels are, in reality, tongued rollers with flangelike projections on each end. Every wheel in the whole outfit belong ing to this curious railroad is thus pro vided with four bearings, which pre vent it from jumping the track on any of the numerjus short curves. At last accounts there were but nine miles of road operated by this "sys tem." When completed it will be four teen miles rom one terminal station to the other. In one place there is an eight hundred-foot grade, mounted at the rate of six feet to the one hundred, and on anotiier section of the road there is a grade between a quarter and a half mile in length in which the average ascent is fonr feet to each one hundred feet of track. Language of the Doz's TalL All dogs wag their tails when pleased, and the movement is gencr- j ally understood by their human asso ciates as an intimation that they are very happy. The chief delight of wild dogs, as with modern hounds and sporting dogs, is in the chase and its accompanying excitement and conse quences. When the presence of game Is first detected is invariably the time when tails are wagged for the common good. The wagging is almost an invariable accompaniment of this form of pleasure, which is one of the chiefest among the agreeable emotions when in a wild state. Owing to some inosculation of the nervous mechanism the association of pleasure and wag ging has become so Inseparable that the movement of the tail follows the emotion, whatever may call it forth. The most modest little pond can re flect a picture of the sun, if it is abso lutely at rest in itself. Carlyle. The injury of prodigality leads to this that he that will not economize will have to agonize. Confucius. TnosE who reason only by analogies, rarely reason by logic, and are gener ally slaves to Imagination. C. Sim mons. Bore, the jneler, is the man to fix np your wstnb or cloak, tie keep a full took of everything pertaining to bis batfofae, a Highest of all in Leavening il V CSr iBSO!JJIEI PURE PETTY DISHONESTY. The Little Impositions That Some Women Think AU Right A Charming Girl Who Waa HlghlT Elated at tier Sneeeas In niamng m Ntreet Car Conductor Out of a K'lukeL The readiness and enthusiasm with which fair woman will beat the res taurant keepers, soda water dispensa tories, railroad companies and all other institutions of civilization for the collection of nickels, dimes or other small change is one of the strangest phenomena of these fast utriding days. I was discussing a lunch the other day with a very charming girl, says a lady writer in the New York Herald. The first thing she said after removing her gloves and arranging her rings so that they would show to the very best advantage to the other women present was: "Well, my ruledown town dida'tcost me a cent. That stupid conductor never came around for my fare." Here she held up the nickel exultant ly and laughed in an almost fiendish glee. At the moment a pretty blonde girl passed our table and saluted my com panion. The sight of the nickel up held seemed to inspire pleasant thoughts. She stopped and began to giggle. Then they giggled together and winked at each other. "That nickel reminds me of some thing funny, Susie," laughed the blonde girl, whose costume cost her husband a cool three hundred dollars. "I have ridden in five horsecars to-day and it hasn't cost me a cent." My companion instantly grew se rious and knitted her pretty brows. "How did you manage It?" she In quired, eagerly. . 'fcasily enough J retorted Nrmri tieaut,yl fin two cases the, impudent couducsor never even asked me for my fare, and of course I didn't call him and beg to be taxed. Three of the cars 1 rode on were crowded, and when I boarded them others did so at the same time. The conductor was way up in front. He didn't know who or how many got on. "Finally he came around with his eternal cry of 'Fare, pleasel' I looked straight ahead of me, for I wanted to see what he would do. Ho passed and repassed, collecting nickels from idiotic women who were fumbling in their purses. Each timo he looked suspiciously at me. At last he said, snappishly: 'Have I got your fare, ma'am?1 I looked over his head as haughtily as I could. He became hum ble. 'Did I get your fare, lady?' he lisped. 'How many fares do you want.?' 1 renlied. sternlv. At that the ! poor man faded away to the back plat form, thoroughly crestfallen. Several good-looking fellows glared as if they had a mind to throw him out of the window." The girls laughed long over this ex perience, but when the blonde charm er was gone I remarked savagely that 1 thought such tactics dishonest. "Nonsense!" observed my lady, la conically, and refused any further dis cussion. In due time the waiter brought me my cheek. "Let me see it," said my beautiful philanthropist. Of course she got it. She studied It for a moment seriously, then an amused expression crept around the tempting mouth and final ly Bhe burst Into a peal of laughter. "See," she said, eagerly, bending across the table. "lie has cheated himself out of fifty cents. Now, don't be a simpleton and have him correct It. It's none of your business, anyway." But I thought it a first-rate oppor tunity for a lesson in morals. I called the waiter and showed him where he had erred and you may believe he was profoundly grateful. As I collected my change and rose to go I noticed an ominous frown settling over her lovely brow and 1 am sure the word "fool" issued from between her set teeth. A RIDE ON A WHALE. The Stlrrtng and Veracious Tarn of a Man from North t'arollnau Capt. Jim Willis, who hails from Morehead City, N. C, where he runs pleasure craft for the accommodation of northern consumptives, had an ex perience with a whale that came near making a Jonah of him. In his own story, as given to a Washington Star reporter, he says: "One sunny after noon, not very long ago, I was sitting in the shade of my own fig tree and Awarded Hinheut D&PRCFS The only Pure Cream of Tartar Powder. No Ammonia, tta Alum, Used in Millions of Homes 40 Years the Standard Power. Latest U. S. Gov't Report swinging tn my own grapevine swing. . A party of my fisher friends who lived farther up the beach, came running by, and as they passed me they sang out: 'There she blows!' This cry woke me up. I saw a jet of water spurted up ward from the sea, and down to the pier I rushed. There wasn't a real whaleboat in the town, but four ordi nary fishing boats were manned by as many crews. One carried the harpoon gun and one the hand-hurling appa ratus. The other two were without any armament excepting several shot guns and one or two rifles. We rowed off so as to come at the game from dif ferent points of the compass. I was in the gunboat. As we approached the whale it was seen that ho was a large and fat one. He took no notice of our coining. When we got within about one hundred feet of the monster the harpoon gun was fired, and the barbed weapon took effect just behind the head and pretty well up on the back. This was painful, but not necessarily a fatal shot. The other boate turned themselves loose and made some inser tions in the fish. "Instead of going under, as wounded whales do, ho remained on top to fight it out. He swished his tail aud turned the sea into suds and made such a swell that the good peoplo of Alexan dria would not have permitted him to pass their port without slowing down, lie plunged headlong against one of the boats and stove it so that it would hardly float. . Its occupants were knocked overboard. There was a good deal of excitement.' The sea round about us was boiling, the whale was rod-hot with rage, the men were shouting and tho guns were popping. The fish next hurled himself against the boat in which I was, and it yielded to his wishes audgot smashed. It was raised a considerable distance In the air, and when It came down I was on that whale's back, just abaft his head, and holding on to that harpoon .ul wt) inot.ai v'TUQ-nacmitiuii nad connected the harpoon and the boat had parted, and about two hundred feet of manilla hawser squirmed and wriggled snake-like around in the seething sea. The whale didn't seem to observe my attitude and continued his attention upon the two remaining boats. There wasn't any time to think of this. The hand harpoon had been shoved into the right place and the whale was blowing his last. A column of blood was being squ Irted skyward and the scarlet flood fell over me, dy Ing mo a gory hue. A few feeble swashes of the tail and a keeling mo tion as though he was going to lie on his iMe tinnn'incn'l thnt, the fl'h dead. Our catch was lashed alongside the pier and the next day we went to work at his carcass. The fish was sixty-two feet three and three-fourth inches long, and the proceeds from the sale of his oil, bone and other valua bles were three thousand five hundred dollars." AN ELASTIC CONSCIENCE. The 81a of It Lay only In llelng Found Out With Her. The penalty attendant upon being detected is the entire foundation of many people's honesty. A woman, savs a writer In tho New York Recorder, in whoso company 1 found myself re cently! was relating with pride an in stanco of hor shrewdness. She re marked as a prcfacu to her story that anyone wl.o expected to get tho better of her would have to be an early riser. Said she: " "1 went to the theater the other night and after tho play a lady who sat in front of mo asked mo if the umbrella under her chair belonged to me. "I said no, and as no one else claimed It she left it at the box olllce. It was a lovely umbrella with a silver handle. "Well, now the joke begins. Abouta week later I went to the theater and asked if such an article had been found and if they had it. I described it per fectly and told when It was lost. I didn't say it was mine, but just let them Infer it. It was there still; the owner had never called for it proba bly never knew where it hud been left. They handed it out when I had an swered all their questions, and I'm that much in. "I had just as good a right to it as the theater people, and it looked, after a week, as if the woman who found it wasn't going to put in u claim. I'm going 10 get a hat with tho money I saved by being wide awake, for 1 in tended to buy a new umbrella." Slandkh Is a vice that strikes a dou ble blow, woundlug both him that commits, and him against whom it is committed. Saurln. Honors, World's Fair. Baking Powder: