jHEPPNER GAZETTE.
NO RISK,
NOTRADE.
OFFICIAL
PAPER
NOTHING RISKED,
NO THING MADE.
The man who advertised, iretR The rush.
Notice it.
The maniho doe tut tdrerttse, dew. t
get the cub.
ELEVENTH YEAR
I1EPPNER, MORROW COUNTY, OREGON, TUESDAY. OCTOBER 10, 1893.
WEEKLY WO. Ma.
SEMI-WEEKLY NO. 161). I
SfcMI A kliKI.Y (iAZhT I L
Tuesdays and Fridays
BY
THE PATTERSON PUBLISHING COMPANY.
AJ-VAEI W, PATTERSON Bua. MuuaKer.
OTIS PATTUUSON Editor
At (2.50 per year, $1.2.) fur six months, 75
(or throe inuuiim.
Advertising Rates Made Known on
Application.
The " EA9LE, " ot Long Creek, Grant
County, Oregon, la published by the BHine com
pany every Friday morning. Subscription
prlre, $2 per year. For advertising rates, address
UIXT Tj. PATTEKSOIT, Editor and
Manager, Long Creek, Oregon, or "Uazette,"
Heppner, Oregon.
THIS PAPKR is kept on tile at E. 0. Dake's
1 Advertising Agency, (H and 6S lVlerchants
Kxcluings, Han Francisco, California, whore cor
rects for advertising can be made for it.
THE GAZETTE'S AGiNTS.
B. A. Hunflaker
Wagner,
Arlington
I nl,L llrei.k
..Willi Heppner
. i ue r.anie
Kpiw, . . Postmaster
Camas Prairie "VaF.H? , !'
Nye, Or H.O. Wright
Hardnian, Or Postmaster
Hamilton, Grant Co., Or PoBtmaster
lone T. J. Carl
Prairie City, Or R. K Mcllaley
Csnvon City, Or B- L. Parrish
Pilot Rock,..- O. P. Hkelton
uayville, or ....J. fc. oiiow
Jolin Day, Or., If. M Callum
Athena, or J"''" tdington
Pendleton, Or Postmaster
Mount Vernon, GrantCo.,Or Postmaster
Shelby, Or Miss Stella Mett
Kox, Grant Co., Or., J- . Alien
Kight Mile, Or., Mrs. Andrew Aslibaugh
I'pper Khea Creek, B. F. HuvlanU
Douglas, Or Postmaster
lone Koek, Or M. Johnson
Gooseberry , , f
Condon, Oregon Herbert Ha stead
Lexington JttB- Luucl1
AN WENT WANTED IN EVKBY PRECINCT.
Umoh Pacfic Railway-Local card.
So, 10, mixed leaves Heppner 10:00 a. m.
iu. " ar. at Arlington 1-15 a.m.
H " leaves " Wi p. m.
' S, " ar. at Heppner 8:20 p. m. dailj
accept Bunday.
East bound, main line ar. at Arlington 1 t! a. m.
WoBt " ' " leaves " l:w a. m.
Day trains have been discontinued.
orFIKAL BIBEOTOBTT.
United States OlllcialB.
rnwdent Grover Cleveland
Vice-President Ad ai Siovhiibou
w I,-... ,.f i4ii.iA Walter U. lireshani
tttwirtaryof Treasury John U. CarliBlo
Hecrelury of Interior .....Hoke Smith
fcecielary of War Daniel H. Lament
(Secretary of Navy Hilary A. Herbert
I'ostiuaater-Uoneral. .. . Wilaon B. Hissed
Attorney-lieuenu Kiohard B. Oluoy
bereuiry of Agriculture J. Bterliug Alorlon
Suite of Oregon.
Governor 8. Pennoyer
Secretary of State . W. Jlcltride
Troasurer I'h". 1 i"8.'','""1
Mupt. Publio Instruction .K B. MoMroy
( J. H. Mitchell
Beuatore jj.N.bolph
S Hiuger Hermann
Congressmen yy. h. Ellis
Printer Frank I). Baker
lb. A. Aloore
Supreme Judgea Kbe
Seventh Judicial District.
Circuit Judge W.L. Brartuiw
I'mswuunv Attorney W. Jl. wils .n
Morrow County Ultli iul".
,.,m Beuutor Henry Bhickman
tU'presuutative f - tfir.V.w,"
r...unty Judge JuIiub Keilluy
' C .luuiiaeioners Peter Hrounei
J. tt. Baker.
t'ierk J- w' Morrow
Bhoriff Noble.
I reasurer W. J. L ezor
AhBeseor . 1,
" Surveyor ..Ia Brown
School Bup't X'i'-'1"!'1
" Coroner T. W. Ayers, J r
BKPPNEB TOWN OPFIOKES.
tlouni-llmen .....0. E. Jarnsworth, M-
Lichtenthal, Otis Patterson, Julius Keilhiy,
W. A. lohDBton, J. L. l'eager.
llwiirdu nDe,',
K E G. Slocum
ilanmal w- '""
Precinct Officers.
Justice of the Peaoe F. J . Halliiek
'.unstable W.Hchard
Uulted States Land Officers.
THE DALLES, OB.
i ut I .;. H gisii-r
v. s. Lang..::::
LA OBANOII, OB.
B.F, Wi'son Register
J.H Kobbins Heceiver
GECEET SOCIETIES.
Doric- Lodge No. 20 K. of P. meet ev
ery Tuesday evening at 7.30 o'clock in
their C'aatle Hall, National Bank build
ing. Sojourning brothers oordiallv in
vited to attend. W. L. Halino, C. t '.
W. B. Potter. K. of K. & 6. tf
RAWLINS POST, N ). 81.
(i. A. It.
at LexiiitfUra, Or., the last Saturday of
Ml month. All veterans are invited to Join,
i .C. Boon,
Adjutant, tf
Geo. W. Smith.
Commander.
PROPESSIMTJi.ii.
A.
ROBERTS, Real Escate, Insur
ance and Collections, Ofliee in
Council Chambers, Heppner, Or. swtf.
S. P. FLORENCE,
STOCKRAISER !
HEPPNER. OREGON
Cattle branded and ar marked as shown above,
Morses F on right shoulder.
u ..i. Mr,M In Morrow and Umatilla conn- i
t, Iwill cay tlOO.OO for the arrest and con.
SElion 3 any penw. sUaliag my stock.
VALUABLE PRESENT.
A Year's Subscription to a Pop
ular Agricultural Taper
GIVLN FRLKTO OURREADERS
tiy a special arrangement with the
publishers we tire prepared to furnish
FREE to each of our readers a year's
subscription to the popular monthly
agricultural journal, the American
Fakmer, published at Springfield and
Cleveland, Ohio.
This offer is made to any of our sub
scribers who will pay up all arrearages
mi subscription and one year in advance,
and to any new subscribers who will pay
one year in auvanoe. The American
F.utMKK enjoys a large national circula
tion, and ranks among tbe leading
agricultural papers. By this arrange
ment it COSTS YOU NOTHING to re
oeive the American Farmer for one
year, It will be to your advantage to
oail promptly. Sample copies can be
seen at our office.
The Original
ste's Unabridged
DIGTIOHHRY.
, . ........... .......i.....-... . ...... tut
1J publishers, A-e are able to obtain a number
oi th above book, and propose to furnish a
cony to each of our subscribers.
The dictionary is a necessity in every home,
school and business house. It tills a vacancy,
and furnislieB knowledge which no one hun
dred other volumes oi the choicest books could
supply. Vouugand old, educated and ignorant,
rich and poor, should have it within reach, and
refer to Ub contents every day in the year.
As some have asked if this Is really the Orig
inal Webster's Unabridged Dictionary, we are
able to state we have learned direct from the
publishers the fact, that tills is the very work
eninnli'te on which about forty of the best years
oi the author's life were so well employed In
writing. It contains the entire vocabulary of
about 100,000 wordB, including the correct spell
ing, derivation and definition of same, and is
the regular standard size, containing about
:iOu,OU0 square inchcB of printed surface, and Is
bound in cloth half morocco and sLeeD.
Until further notice we will furnish this
valuable Dictionary
First To any new subscriber.
Second To any renewal subscriber.
Third To any subscriber now in arrears
who pays up and one year in advance, at
the following prices, viz:
Full Cloth bound, gilt side and bacP
stamps, marbled edges, $i-oo.
Half Mo'occo, bound, gilt side and back
stamps, marbled edges, $1.50.
Full Sheep bound, leather label, marbled
edges, $2.00.
Fifty cents added in all cases for express
age to Heppner.
IAs the publishers limit the time and
number of books they will furnish at the low
priceB, we advise all who desire to avail them
selves of this great opportunity to attend to it
at once.
SILVER'S UHiMFION
;THE:
THE DAILY BY MAIL.
Subscription price reduced as follows:
One Year (by mail) : : $6 00
Six Months " : : 3 00
Three Months " 1 50
One Month " : : SO
THE WEEKLY BY MAIL
One Year (in Advance) : fl 00
The News is the only consistent c.iairpion of
silver in the West, and should be In every home
In the West, and in the hands of every miner
and business man In Colorado.
Send In your subscriptions at once.
Address,
THE NEWS,
Sexiver, Colo.
LUJNIBJR!
TK HAVE FOR BALE ALL KINDS OF UN
V dressed Lumber, 16 miles of Heppner, al
what Is known as the
SCOTT BAWMZIjXj.
PER 1.000 FEET. ROUGH,
" " " CLEAR,
110 00
17 SO
IK DELIVERED IN HEPPNER, WILL ADD
I .i.ni per l.nno feet, additional.
i. HAMirmw prop.
Hritilltfn MAtia;r
WISCONSIN' CENTRAL LINES
f Northern Pacific R. R. Co., Lessee.)
LATKfST TIME CARD
Two Through Trains Daily.
12 l.ipm'fi 'ilpm'f.v.MlnnpBpnllaAriB 40aml.45pm
l.i'ipml- i.-.pml.v...St. Paiil...Ars.niismS.onpm
10 aiisinU n.-pm!Lv...Dnluth.. .Arlll 10" i7.Mpm
1 i.ipm 7 05pm l.v Ashland . Ar! 05aml pm
7,1.5am lii.oamiAr. .( hlrugo .1.VI5 Oop "11.45"
I I I I
llrketsaold nn1 bsircnge checked through to
all points In the I'lilted Mates suit Cansda.
Close connection mnde in Chicsgo with all
triilns lining East and South. .
for full information apply to your nearest
tljket agent or JAS. C. POND,
0n. Pass, and Tkt Agt. Chicago, HL
(uiMiauwuiMisMBBissBBa
R(WON-P OJ S O N QJUSjJ!
aMWiriHrt
Can be proomed at the drug store of
1. 1 Ay.rs, Jr.
Next door to City Hotel,
HEPPNER, : : OREGON'.
Equal to lime and sulphur, and much
better for the wool, as it promotes the
growth rather than damages it.
Of
r.
WM. PENLANO. El).
President.
K BISHOP.
Cashier.
TRANSACTS A GENERAL BANKING BUSINESS
COLLECTIONS
Made on Favorable Terms.
EXCHANGE BOUGHT & SOLD
HEPPNER. tf OREGON
P CTIOIC TI tVX B !
TO
?iMii Franolsoo
lud all points in California, via the Mt. Shasta
route of the
Southern Pacific Co.
I'he great highway through California to all
points East and South. Grand Soenio Route
of the Pacifio Coast. Pullman Buffet
Sleepers. Second-class Sleepers
AttHchedJo express trains, affording superior
icoommodations for eecond-otuss paasengers.
For rates, tickets, Bleeping car reservations,
to. call apon or address
K KOEHLER, Manager, E. P. ROGERS, Asst,
Sen. F. A P. Agt Portland, Oregon.
Free Medicine !
A Golden Opportunity for Suffering
Humanity.
Physicians Give their Remedies to the People
P.fl Villi CIIFITP 9 Write ub at once, explain
IJU 1UU off rtfl f lngvour trouble, and we
will send you FREE OF CHARGE a full course
of specially prepared remedies best suited to
your case. We want your recommendation.
We can cure the most aggravated diseases of
both sexes. Our treatment tor all diseases and
deformities are modern and scientific, acquired
by many year's experience, which enables us to
Guarantee a Cure. Po not despair.
N. B. - We have the only positive cure for Ep
ilepsy (tits) and Catarrh. References given.
Permanently located. Old established.
Dr. Williams Medical and Buroical Insti
tute, 719 Market Street, San Francisco, Cal.
ARE TOU ANY GOOD AT PUZZLES?
The genius who invented the "Fifteen" ptiz
zle, "Pigs in Clover," and many others, has in
vented a brand new one, which Is going to be
the greatest on record. There Is fun, instruc
tion and entertainment In it. The old and
learned will find as much mystery In It as the
young and unsophisticated. This great puzzle
s the property of the New York Press Club, for
whom it was invented by Samuel Loyd, the
great puzzlclst, to be sold for the benefit of the
movement to erect a great home for newspaper
workers in New York. Generous friends have
given $25,000 in prizes for the successful puzzle
solvers. TEN CENTS Bent to the "Press Club
Building and Chrrity Fund," Temple Court,
New York City, will get you the mystery by
return mail.
Evorv Reader OF THIS
journal Is Invited to aid fn the erection
of a great home lor newspaper work
ers by sending one dime to "Press Club
Building and Charity Fund." Temple Court,
New York. Y'ou will aid a great work and re
ceive by return mail a wonderful puzzle-game
which amuses the young and old, baffles the
mathematicians and Interests everybody. Public
spirited merchants have contributed 2j,0oo
worth of premiums for such as can solve the
mystery. Everything from a "Knox" hat to a
"Steinway" piano.
DID YOU TRY
"PIQS IN CLOVER"
or the "FIFTEEN PUZZLE."
Well, the man who Invented them has just
completed another little playful mystery for
young and old, which is Belling for TEN CENTS
fnr the benefit of the fund to erect a home for
newspaper workers In New York. This puzzle
la the property of the New York Press Club
and generous friends of the club have donated
over 125,000 to provide prizes for lucky people.
voune or old, who solve the mystery. There Is
a lot of entertainment and Instruction in it,
Bend a dime and get the souvenir puzzle by
return mail. Address "Press Club Souvenir
Xemple Court.New York City.
" 3330 PARCELS OP MAIL" fftES
FUR 10 1-CtNr STAMPS
resfului' price Idc) your ad-
i if rw;eivpu within m
will be for 1 yettr boldly
printed on KiitutueO
LibelJi. Only lUrwWirv
ruarun teeing 13.000
CUHtuiuer , iruiu iuu-
llHhfrt and roanufne
turera you 11 rtclvft
probably, thousands o
valuable nooks, pajfrr
am n Lea. m iufHJd net .etc.
ll fi- and euro puree,
with one ofyour prlntwl ddrw hlt
pasted theiWi. EXTRA! ewl
alM print and nry postal on ail v
your label adflreww-a to you ; wind
tick on v,ur envelop, bfroka, ., u
x prevent thi'ir rinit iw. . "
7 of UfUUvUin, N. ('., write" : " I run
j niy'ii tfni wdflreitMn your UKhiuliu
i ,t-.i i.vcr 3COO fHr'lH '
W- WPZs ph.. .to: rul!iir.t"-- ar.J rminiif... r nr
-fc' i.n urrKii.K iljtliy, u vain. I an-Mi,
IW WORLD'S FAIK DIRECTORY CO.,
No. 147 Frankford and Glrard Avei., Philadel
phla, Pa.
Mm
PRIZES ON PATENTS.
How to Get Twenty-five Hundred
Dollars for Nothing.
The Winner hat a clear Cift of a Small
Fortune, and the Losers Have Patents
that may Bring them in Still More.
Would you like to make twenty-five hundred
dollars? If you would, read carefully what
follows and you may sec a way to do It.
The PreBS Claims Company devotes much
attention to patents. It has handled thousands
of applications for inventions, but it would
like to handle thousands more. There Is plenty
of Inventive talleut at large In this country
needing nothing but encouragement to produce
practical results. That encouragement the Press
Claims Company propose to give.
NOT SO II A It D AS IT MOF.iTl.
A patent strikes most people as an appalling
ly formidable thing. The idea is that an in
ventor must be a natural geniuw like Edison or
Bell; that he must devote years to delving in
complicated mechanical problems and that he
must spend a fortune on delicate experiments
before he can get a new device to a patentable
degree of perfection. This delusion the com
pany deBires to dispel. It desires to get into
the head of the public a ciear comprehensiou
of the fact that it is not the great, complex, and
expensive inventions that bring the best returns
to their authors, but the little, simple, and
cheap oues the things that seem so absurdly
trivial that the average citizen would feel
somewhat ashamed of bringing them to the
attention of the Patent Office.
Edison says that the profits he has received
trom the patents on all hlB marvelous luveu
tions'i ave not been sufficient to pay tne cost
of his experiments. But the mau who con
ceived the Idea of fastening a bit of rubber
cord to a child's ball, so that it would come
back to the hand when thrown, made a fortune
out of his scheme. The modern sewing-machine
is a miracle of Ingenuity the product
a hundred and fifty years, but the whole bril
liant result restB upon the simple device of
putttug the eye of the needle at the point in
stead of at the other end.
of the toil of hundreds of busy brains through
THE LITTLE THINGS THE MOST
VALUABLE.
Comparatively few people regard themselves
as Inventors, but almost every body has been
struck, atone time or another, with ideas that
seem calculated to reduce some of the little
frictions of life. Usually such ideas are din
missed without further thought.
"Why don't the railroad company make its car
windows so that they can be slid up and down
without breaking the passengers' back?" ex
claims the traveler. "If I were running the
road I would make them In such a way."
"What was the man who made the saucepan
thinking of?" grumbles the cook. "He never
had to work over a JBtove, or he would have
knowu how it ought to have been fixed."
"Hang such a" collar button 1" growls a man
who is late;for breakfast. "If I were in the
business I'd make buttons that wouldn't slip
out, or break off, or gouge out the back of my
neck
And the various sufferers forgot about their
grievances and began to thiuk of something
else. If they would set down the next con
venient opportunity, put tbeir ideas about car
windows, saucepans and collar buttons into
practical shape, and then apply for patents
they might find themselves as independently
wealthy as the man who invented the iron
umbrella ring, or the one who patented
he fifteen puzz le.
A TEMPTING OFFER.
To induce the people to keep track of their
bright Ideas and see what there in them, the
Press Claims Company has resolved to oiler u
irlze.
To tbe person who submits to it
the simplest and moat promiing
invention, from a commercial
point ol view, the company will
give twenty-live hundred dollar
in cash, in addition to refunding
tbe fees for securing a patent.
It will also i dvertise the Inven.
tion free of charge.
This offer is subject to the following condi
tions: Every competitor must obtain a patent for
his invention through the compauy. He must
flrstapply for a preliminary search, the cost of
which will be five dollars. Should this
seach show his invention to be unpatentable.
he can withdraw without further expense.
Otherwise he will be expected to complete his
application and take out a patent in the regu
lar way. The total expense, including the
Government and Bureau fees, will be seventy
dollars. For this, whether he secures a prize
or not, the inventor will have a patent thai
ought to be a valuable property to him. The
prize will be awarded by a Jury consisting ul
three reputable patent attorneys of Washing
ton. Intended competitors should fill out the
following blank, aud forward It with their
application:
" , , 18113.
I submit the within described Invention in
competition for the Twenty-five hundred Dollar
Prize offered by the Press Claims Company.
OIII.AKK I ft THIS UHII'KTlin,
This is a competition of rather an unusal na
ture. It Is common to offer prizes for the besi
story, or picture, or architectural plan, all the
competitors risking the loss of their labor anil
the successful one merely selling his for the
amoun of the prize. But the Press Claims
Company's otler is something entirely differ
ent. Each person Is asked merely to help him
self, audtbe one who helps him self to the
best advantage is to be rewarded by doing ,lt.
The prize is only a stimulus to do something
that would be well worth doing without it.
The architect whose competitive plan for a
club house on a certuiu corner Is uot occupi
ed has spent hlB labur on something of very
lttle use to lilm. Hut the person who patents a
simple aud useful device in the Press Claims
Company's competition, need not worry if he
fail to secure a prize. He has a substHiitiHl
result to show for his work one that wll
command its value in the market at any
time.
The man who uses any article in his dsllv
work ought to know better now to improve ft
than the mechanical expert who studies It
only from the theoretical point of view, (ift
rid of the Idea tha. an improvement can be too
simple to be worth patenting. The sitnplerth
better. The person who best succeeds fn
DRPR
nam
The only Pure Cream of Tartar Powder. No Ammonia; No Alum.
Used ia Millions of Homes 40 Years the Standard.
combining simplicity and popularity, will get
the Press Claims Company's twcuty-livc hun
dred dollars.
The responsibility of this company may be
judged from the fact that its slock is held bv
about three hundred of the leading newt-papers
of the United Stales.
Address tho Press Claims Company, Joka
Wodderhurn, mauagiug attorney. ',ls K street
. W., Washington, D. C.
G. A. R. NOTICE.
We take this opportunity of ihtarming
our subscribers that the new c minis
siouer of pensions has boen npnoiuted
He is an old soldier, and we belinv
that soldiers and their heirs will re
oeive justice at his hands. We do not
anticipate that there will be any riding,!
changes in the administration ot ponsiot
affairs under the new regime.
We would advise, however, that U. B
soldiers, sailors and their heirs, take
stepj to make application at onoe, if
they have uot already done bo, in order
to secure the benefit of the early filing
of tbeir claims in case there should hf
any future pension legislation. 3ncb
legislation is seldom retroactive. There
fore it is ot great importanoe that ap
plioatious be tiled in the department al
the earliest possible date.
It the U. S. soldiers, sailors, or their
widows, children or parents desire in
formation in regard to pension matters,
they should write to the Press Claims
Company, at Washington, 1). C, aud
they will prepare and send tbe necessary
application, if they find tbem entitled
under the numerous laws enacted for
their benefit. Address
PRKSS CLAIMS COMPANY,
John Weddkkburn, Managing Attnr
uey, Washington, D. 0., P. O. Box 385
tf.
THE WESTERN PEDAGOGUE.
We are in receipt of the May number
of our state school paper. It exceed
any of the former numbers ir. value.
Tbe paper this month contains many
new and valuable features. The illus
trated series ou the schools ot the state
is introduced by a paper on the Friends
Polytechnic institute at Balem, Oregon
TheBe papers cannot fail to be of great
value both to the schools and to the
Dublio.
There are also several nne articles
by our best writers and the departments
"Current Events,""Saturday Thoughts,
"Educational News" "Ibe Oracle
Answers, Correspondents," etc., eaoh
oontain much valuable reading fo
teachers or parents. Ibe magazine
has about 50 pages of matter, well
printed and arranged. We pronounce
the Western Pedagogue the beat ednoa-
tioanl monthly ou the coast.
Everyone of our readers should have
the paper if they are at all interested
in education. No teacher school direo
tor or student enn get along well with
out it. We will receive snhsoript.ons
at this uffice. Price only $1.00 a year.
When desired we will send the Western
Pedagogue aud Uazette one year to one
address for 83.00. Call and examine
sample oopies. Teachers, directors and
parents, now is the time to subscribe, tf
Btieklen's Arnica Salve.
Tho best salve in the world for outs
bruises, sores, ulcers, salt rheum, fever
sores, tetter, chapped bauds, chilblains
oorns nnd ull skin eruptions, and posi
tively oures piles, or no pay required. II
is guaranteed to give pcrlect satisfaction
or money refunded. Price 25 oents per
box. For sale by Slooum-Johnson Drug
Company.
If you want to buy groceries, and
bread atnff cheap, go to the Enterprise
Grocery. Kirk & Kuhl, proprietors, a
Watches la Card Cues.
Among the latest novelties In th
way of card cases is a very dainty little
one made of very finely dressod leather.
In one corner of tho case Is set a tlnj
littlo watch. The effect of this is very
pretty, and, besides this, the combina
tion is a very usefulone. Lad lea are often
put to a great doal of trouble in taking
out their watches when on the street.
Carrying this little time-piece sot in
their card case or pocket-book saves
them all this trouble, and thon, too,
when making calls they havo a little
gentle reminder in their hands that
they must not overstay their welcome.
Watches set in this way in card cases
and pocket-books are much more popular
than the bracelet watch attachment.
The novelty was imported from Paris,
but is now being manufactured very
largely in this country. The cost ol
those card cases and pocket-books ia
from seven dollars and fifty cents up.
K. V. Mail and Ex press.
An lMi'.,'..i.,(u Calcuhi, 1 ,o.
Then: is a tlicjt v evolved by a Krone)
scientist to the o.'IVi t that the huinai
I'uee is diminishing in i-ize and wll
(bully become inicrn;,o,,pie and vanisl
into thin nir. lie says that statistic
from tlie days of the giants to the pres
iiit time prove that mim is getlinj
smaller and shorter and more diuiinu
live in every way. lly an ingeniou
calcination lie inseovers me rate ot re
Juetion and tells just how many thou
samis years it will take to make peopl
so small that they will be out of sight
Baking
Powden
Highest of all in Leavening Power. Latest U. S. Gov't Report.
Li
ABSOLUTELY PURE
IN HIS WIFE'S CLOTHES.
The Sorry flight oi a Hallway Official In
llelgium.
A poet, lias often put a man at a dis-
autuntuge, hut seldom so effectually a
in a cn-ie recently reported by a foreign
corn' '.nih nt ot a Jew York newt-
pap-j:-.
Million JIastor Maruhand, at the little
viliajo of tloihtryville, in llelgium, has a
(i int vhi'h has the peculiarity of al
lowing only Mine. Matvhand to milk
her.
A i'lmrt time ago Mine. Marchand
went to market before breakfast. The
station master was in haste to begin
his dt'.Hv duties, and there was noth
inpr in tho house to cat He approached
tho iiat with a pail on his arm, nnd the
Isout. as usual, began to kick and back.
In despair, he decided to masquerade as
his wife, and humbug the goat Into be
ing1 milked.
He put on his wife's skirts, waist and
bonnet, and returned to the shed. The
goat was docile, and he began milking
her. Ili3 preparations, however, had
consumed more time than he realized,
and before the pail was half full he was
astonished 'to hear the whistle of the
first morning express, which it was his
most important duty to meet.
He dropped the pail, ran to the house,
exchanged his wife's bonnet for his red
and blue cap of office, and with flying
skirts hurried to the station platform.
The sight of an individual with a full
beard and flowing skirts and a station
master's cap dazed everybody on the
train, and gave the porters at the sta
tion the idea that Marchand had gone
crazy. A policeman was summoned,
and the station master was marched
off to jail.
To the railway authorities, who be
gan an investigation of his conduct.
Marchand explained the responsibility
of the obstreperous goat for his un
precedented performance. Ho was
punished by temporary removal from
ofliee. . ; .
HER REAL OPINION.
Whst a Pretty l;lrl Was Heard to Ohsam
Trellnvly.
Most of us have not the courage of
our own convictions or (-pinions, but
follow blindly ia the wake of others
who have srt the paoe for us. sj tha
Philadelphia Times. We alwsjzs ad
mire the ontrpoken sentiment-i, but are
afraid to venture ourselves for fear of
wounding public riinion. A pretty girl
who is considered one of Philadelphia's
most charming buds, with a Madonna
face and an nir of sanetit;.' that is much
at variance with her real nature,
shocked but at the same time stirred up
a party of young folks who make so
ciety fads their laws by announcing in
public that she despised Herman opera.
I know li, is very bud it inn to say so,
but I do. I think there is ten times
more harmony in one line of the 'Mika
do' than in the whole opera of Lohen
grin,' always exoepting the wedding
march. 1 think the fashionable hand
Bhake is silly and unnatural, and I love
peanuts." With these three terrible
announcements she gazed calmly on
the astonished hearers, and expected a
right royal drubbing until, to her sur
prise, the most punctilious one of the
lot said in a half-frightened way, as if
startled by her own temerity: "I quite
agree with you, but I would never have
dared to breathe it to a living soul if
von had not sooken llrst."
NOT ALWAYS
PRETTY.
Idolilnr; Notorious Women
Fault ol
Iteportel'il.
When a woman becomes involved In
any escapade that renders her suddenly
notorious she is invariably referred to
as beautiful, and generally a descrip
tion more or less fanciful of her various
charms is given. TU enterprise on the
part of correspondents, says the Chica
go Herald, is entirely unnecessary, be
cause it is not nlwx.y the handsome
woman who proves nxt attractive to
the opposite sex or is -.i able of doing
the, most mischief in the world. This
truth is well illustrated in the case of
Mrs. Hetherington. .She was variously
described as "ravishingly beautiful,"
as having a "doll face with a baby's
complexion," and as vainly conscious
of her own charms. She passed through
Chicago the other day, and a truthful
reporter of the Herald descrilies her as
plain. She is short and slightly built
and has a sallow complexion and dark
rings around the eyes. Perhaps such a
description accords with the popular
notions of beauty in Jnpan, that land
of sallow complexions and little wom
en, but we have different ideas here.
The Pate of the lluflTalo.
Twenty years ago thore roamed ovbi
the plains and mountains of tho fai
West nearly 8,000,000 buffaloes. To-daj
there aro less than 500 head of the animals
In existence. There are but eighty-five
head of wild buffaloes, 304 alive In cap
tivity, and about 200 under tho protec
tion of tho (Jovernmcnt in Yellowstone
Park. There la also said to bo about
f)50 head in tho liritish possessions,
nortli of Montana, but this is rumor.
Of tho eighty-five hood of wild bulfaloet
which aro known to exist, twenty-flv
are in Texas, twenty in Colorado,
twenty-six in Wyoming, ten in Mon
tana and four In Dakota. The statisticf
havo been carefully (fathered by the
officials of the Smithsonian Institution,
and it is absolutely known that the
number staled comprise all tho wild
buffaloes of the wo.-ld. Tho skuletons
j of tho numerous herds of a scoro ol
I years ago aro blouching on the Western
1 plains, a tribute to Uie powers ot tu4
American Nitnrod.
Baking
Powder
WOULDN'T WASTE CHANCES.
On Woman Who Was Not Averse to
Marriage.
Did you ever notice how a party of
women, young or old, will discuss every
conceivable subject, but never fall to
end with an animated dissertation on
the marriage question? asks a writer in
Womankind; and then she adds: I hap
pened, not long since, to stray into a
party of fair bubblers. Fair, did I say?
well, all save one. She was the most
ill-favored, unlovely girl I have seen in
many a day. Her complexion was
pretty, but was marred by a head of
luminous hair, freckles to match, and
pale blue eyes. A total lack of eye
brows, in connection with large and
prominent teeth, excluded all hope of
facial beauty, even in future years. As
the conversation rolled on from topic
to topic the great subject of marriage
was finally broached. I will not at
tempt to tell you how each individual
gave her profound views on the subject;
how the majority asserted that they
knew marriage was a failure, that Mi
nerva herself had thought best to re
main an old maid, etc., numerous other
eases being cited to hold up their end of
the argument. At last there was a
lulL Tho fair disputants were evident
ly collecting their thoughts for a fresh
onslaught, when our graceless maid
threw down a tiook she had been perus
ing through the thickest of the battle,
rumpled up her locks till each particu
lar hair seemed to assume a perpendic
ular position, and, pushing one foot out
in , front of her, remarked, with a
yawn: "Well, girls, I'll tell you what:
I've made up my mind to marry the first
man that asks me." The girls ceased
their arguing.
A COW AMONG BEARS.
llossy Hoards the Formidable Brniu lu
Ills Den.
Just outside the city of Heme, in
Switzerland, there is a bear pit, the in
habitants of which are as savage as
bears can be, and they are known to
have made away rapidly with any living
being that ever happened to drop into
their midst. Tho other day a butcher
drove a cow to the city. The cow took
fright, ran off und jumped over the
fence down into tho bear pit. The
bears were anxious to become more in
timately acquainted with the cow and
began moving slowly toward her. She
did not seem equally desirous to await
their amenities, and, being none the
worse for her mighty spring just made,
she lowered her horns anil rushed for
ward to assault the bear that was near
est to her. The shaggy fellow lost
heart, turned tail mid retired into his
cave. Then the cow turned her horns
toward another bear, who also consid
ered discretion tin better part of valor
and withdrew to his cave. In less time
than it takes to recite the story all the
bears hud sought, refuge in their luirv
and the cow stood in solitary triumph
in the center of the pit. Then she, was
taken out by the keeper. A rich resi
dent of the suburbs of Heme, having
seen the gallant self-defense of the cow,
took a fancy to her, bought her of the
butcher and has her now at his country
seat and is proud of her.
SOUND PHILOSOPHY.
How to Make Married l.lfe nn Kxlstcnee
of Pence and Happiness.
The Hist year of married life is a
most important era in the history of
man and wife. Generally, as it is spent,
so is almost all subsequent existence.
The wife and the husband then assimi
late their views and their desires, or
else, conjuring up their dislikes, they
add fuel to their prejudices and animos
ities forever afterwards.
"I have somewhere, read," says Kev.
Mr. Wise, in his Itridai tireetings, "of
bridegroom who gloried in his eceen
ricities. He requesu-d his bride to no
omptiny him into the garden a day or
.wo after their wedding, lie then drew
i line over tho roof of their cottage,
iiving his wife one end of it ho re
treated to the other side, and ex
jlaiined: '"Pull tho line!'
"She pulled it at his request, so far as
she could. Ho cried:
"'Pull it over!'
" 'I can't,' she replied.
' 'Hut pull with all your mightl'ttiii
ihouteit the whimsical husband.
"Hut vain were all the efforts of
the bride to pull over the lino so long as
her husband held tho opposite end. Hut
when he came round, and they pulled at
tho satno end, It came over with groat
ease.
" 'Thorol' as tho line fell from tho
roof, 'you see bow hard and Ineffectual
vas our labor when we both pulled In
jpposltion to each other; but how easy
and pleasant it was when we both pulled
together! It will bo so with us through
life!'"
In this illustration, homely as it may
be, there Is a sound philosophy. Hus
band and wlfo must mutually bear and
concede if they wish to make home a
retreat of joy and bliss. One alone can
not make homo happy. There needs
unison of action, sweetness of spirit and
great forbearance and love in both hus
band and wife to secure the great end
ef happiness in the domestic circle.
Home ia no unmixed paradise of sweets;
the elements of peace and true happi
ness are thero, and so, too, are the ele
ments of discord and misery; and it
needs only tho bitter spirit of the world
without to make it a pandemonium, or
the loving genius of harmony to make
It the prompter of every affectionate Impulse,