TTOME AND FARM MAGAZINE SECTION
Id
HOME AND FARM MAGAZINE SECTION SERIAL.
By
Geo. Barr
McCutcheon
A Fool and His Money
Copyright, 1913,
By Geo. Barr
McCutcheon.
4> $> ruin. In great trepidation, I had all of she went on in a business-like manner, the bottom o f this hill, waiting for—r**
“ W a it!” she cried. “ Are you really
♦ the gates and doors locked and rein ‘ ‘ and I believe we will get along much
4 forced by sundry beams and slabs, for better together if we stay apart.”
truly in earnest?”
#
*
Ambiguous remarks ordinarily reach
“ Most emphatically!**
I knew the overpowering nature of tli<
In the opening instalments of " A
my intelligence, but I was so stunned
<$> Pool and Ilis Money,” Geo. Barr Me- <$> collective tourist.
“ Then I— I shall surrender,** she
G> Outcheon’ s charming novel, serial
I may be pardoned if I digress at thi by preceding admissions that I could said, very slowly— and seriously, l was
& rights for which have been specially
glad to observe.
time to state that the party of one only gasp:
<§> obtained for the Home and Farm
“ Do you mean to say you’ve been
“ That’s more like it,** I cried, en
<§> Magazine Section, we learn of John
hundred and sixty-nine, both stern and
Bellamy Smart, the young man who
thusiastically.
opopsite, besieged my castle on the next subsisting all this time on my fo o d !”
is telling this story. He has just
“ Oh, dtar me, no! How can you
“ On one condition,** she said. “ You
day but one, with the punctuality of
& written his first novel, and ut the
<$> samo time has fallen heir to an im-
locusts, and despite all of my precau think that of me? Gretel merely cooks must agree in advance to let rae stay
mense fortune left him by his uncle.
tions, all of my devices, all o f my ob the food I buy. She keeps a distinct on here for a month or two. It—it ia
€> He ia 35 years of age.
jections, effected an entrance and over aud separate account of everything, most imperative, Mr. Smart.*'
$>
After a viait to London, Smart
“ I shall be the sole judge o f that,
ran the place like a swarm o f ants. The poor thing. I am sure you will not find
<$> takes a trip on the River Danube.
<§> After finding an old world town, he
feat that could not have been accom anything wrong with your bills, Mr. madam,” 1 retorted, with some dignity,
dis-^vors an ancient castle, which ho
plisbed by an armed forced was sue Smart. But did you bear what I said a “ By tho w ay,” I went on, knitting roy
<£ purchases from its owner, the Count.
brows, “ how am I to get into your sidb
cessfully managed by a group of peda moment a go?”
<$* With hig secretary, Poopendykc, he
“ I ’m not quite sure that I did.
of the castle? Sehmiek says he** haul
gogues from Ohio, to whom “ Keep o ff
takes possession of the immense
“ I prefer to let matters stand just as tho keys. ”
<§> structure, which is supposed to ho
the Grass’ * and “ No Trespass” are
tenanted only by the caretaker and
A good deni depended on her airawvm
signs of utter impotence on Jhe part they are. Why should we diseoramode
<$> his family, the Schmicks. To Smart’ s
“ They shall be delivered to you I n
of him who puts them up, and ever shall eaeh other? We are perfectly satisfied
amazement, the first night, he hears
morrow morning, Mr. Bin art,*’ ahe aaJid,
be, world without end. They came, they as we— ’ *
the cry of a baby. Later he discovers
“ I will not have my new cook giving soberly. “ Good night.”
a woman's face at an upper window.
saw, they conquered, and they tried to
He is to > much interested to attend
notice, madam. You surely can ’t cx
The little window closed with a snap
buy picture postcards of me.
to his correspondence, as is desired by
his secretary. Smart determines to
I mention' this in passing, lest you poet her—or him— to prepare meals for and I was left alone in the wniliag
<*> s-dve the mystery of the east wing of
two separate— ”
moonlight. I was vastly excited, eve*
should be disappointed. Moro anon
<$ the castle and enters a window by
I hadn’t thought o f that,” she in thrilled by the prospect o f a Meepleui
Punctually at nine o ’clock, I was in
<$* means of a ladder. He is blocked by
a stout door on which is pinned a
the balcony, thanking my lucky stars terrupted ruefully. “ Perhaps if 1 were night. Something told me I wwildnY
<$* note reading: ‘ 'Please keep out. This
that it was a bright, moonlit night. to pay her—or him— extra wages it sleep a wink, and yet I, who bitterly
is private property.” Later he meets
would be all right,” she added, quick sent having my sloep curtailed in tho
There was every reason to rejoice
<$> the woman, wh* greatly puzzles him.
the prospect of seeing her face clear ly. “ We do not require much, you slightest degree, held no brief ngainst
........................................
circumstances. In fact, I rather m-
ly when she appeared at her secret little know. ”
CHAPTER IV.
I laughed rather shortly— meanly, I veiled in the promise o f Doetnrnal «few
window. Naturally, I am too much of
I Become an Ancestor.
t: action.
Fearing, however, that 1
gentleman to have projected unfai fear.
This
is
most
extraordinary, might drop o ff to sleep at three «r
RUK to the promise she had extract means of illuminating her face, such as
four o ’clock and thereby run the ri*R
ed from me, 1 l ad o ff my work the use o f a pocket electric lamp or any madam! ’ *
I—I quite agree with you. I ’ m of over sleeping, I dashed o f f to the
men the next morning.
They thing of that sort. I am nothing if not
trooped in bright and early, consider gallant— when it comes to a pinch. Be awfully sorry it had to turn out as it head of the stairs and shoaled f m
ably augmented by fresh reeruits who sides, I was reasonably certain that she has. Who would have dreamed of your Britton.
buying the place and coming here to up
‘ Britton,” I said. “ I want to hn
came to share the benefits of my in would wear a thick black veil. In th
called at seven o ’clock sharp in tho
nocuous prodigality, and if 1 live to be I was wrong. She wore a white, filmy set everything?”
I resolved to be firm with her. She morning.”
Noting hi* polite stnagg)»
a thousand I shall never again experi one, but it served the purpose. I natu
seemed to be taking too much for grant to conceal hi* astonishment, I told bins
ence such a noisome half hour as the rally concluded that she was homely.
“ Good evening,” she said, on open ed. “ Much as I regret it, madam, I am o f my second encounter w its the Indy
one spent in listening to their indig
compelled to ask you to evacuate— to across the way.
nant protests against my tyranical op ing tho window.
“ Good evening,” said I, contriving get out, in fact. This sort of thing ean’t
‘ She w on’t he expecting you at
pression of the poor and needy. In the
seven, sir,” he remarked. “ And, a*
end, I agreed to pay them, one and all to conceal my disapopintment. “ How go on. ’ ’
She was silent for so long that I ex for that, she may be expecting to call
for a full day’s work, and they went is the b a b y?”
“ Very much better, thank you. It perieneed a slow growth of eompune on you, instead o f the other way
away mollified, calling me a true gentle
man to my face and heaven knows what was so good of you to stop the work tion. Just as I was on the point of round.**
slightly receding from my position, she
men.”
‘ R ight!”
said
1, considerably
to my battik
“ W on’t you take o f f your veil and gave me another shock.
dashed.
I spoke gently to them of the sick
D on’t you think it would be awfully
“ Besides, *ir, would it not be safer
baby. With one voice they all shout stay aw hile!’ * I asked, politely face
tious. “ It isn’t quite fair to me, you convenient if you had a telephone put to wait till the tourist party i as come
ed:
in, Mr. Smart?” she said. “ It is such and gone?”
know.’ *
‘ ‘ But our babies are sick!
Her next remark brought a blush of a nuisance to send Max or Rudolph over
One octogenarian— a carpenter’s ap
(To Be Coutinued.)
prentice— heatedly informed me, through confusion to my cheek. A silly notion to town every whipstitch on errands
Schmiek, that he^liad a child two weeks had induced me to don my full even when a telephone— in your name, o f
old that would die before morning if ing regalia, spike-taH coat and all course— would be so much more satis
deprived of proper food and nourish Nothing could have been more lndi factory.”
A telephone!” I gasped.
ment. Somewhat impressed by this piti ermisly incongruous than my appear
Circumstances mnke it quite unwise
ful lament, 1 enquired how his wife ance, I am sure, and I never felt more
for me to have a telephone in my own
was gating along. The ancient, being uncomfortable in my life.
How very nice you look in your name, but yon could have one in yours
in a placid state of senility, courteous
ly thanked me for my interest, and an new suit,” she said, and I was aware without creating the least suspicion.
W atoh fo r ‘-ni. « O T T o f ■ «o
swered that she had been dead for of a muffled quality in her ordinarily You are— ”
“ Madam,** I eried, and got uo far
d e n t," w kith w ill »PI>«M
forty nine years, come September. I clear, musical voice. She was laughing
tu thi« apa ce I» will
i.t* » * * «
at me. “ Are you giving a dinner ther.
overlooked the slight discrepancy.
“ —perfectly free to have a tele
in* « n i p rofitable fo r o r o r . Toon*
During the remainder o f the day, I party ? ’ *
man and woman w ho wiaban 1
“ I usually dress for dinner,** I lied phone if you want one,” she continued.
insisted on the utmost quiet in our wing
The doctor came this evening and it
n ancora« in Ufo.
ith some haughtiness. “ And so does
of the castle. Poopendyke was obliged
really wasn’t necessary. Don’t you see
to take his typewriter out to the Poopendyke,** I added as an after
yon could have telephoiled for me and
stables, where I dictated scores of let thought. My blush deepened as I re
ters to him. I caught Britton whistling eallcd the attenuated blazer in which saved him the trip ?”
(It was doe to the most stupendous
in the kitehen abont noon time, and my secretary breakfasted, Innched and
exertion of self restraint on my part
severely reprimanded him. We went dined without discrimination.
that I said: “ Well, 111 be—jiggered,*1
‘ 1 For Gretel ’• benefit, I presume. **
quite to the extreme, however, when we
I. M W A L K E R , Präsident.
instead of something a little less unique,
“ Ah! you do know Gretel, then!**
tiptoed about our lofty balls. All of the
Portland. Oregon.
“ Oh, I ’ ve known her for years. Isn’t Her audacity staggered me. (I was not
afternoon we kept a sharp lookout for
prepared at that time to speak of it as
W rite es. No trouble te answer.
the doctor, but if he came we were none she a quaint old do*r?”
“ I shall discharge her in the morn superciliousness.)
the wiser. Britton went into the town
Madam.” I exploded, 11 will you be
at three w rb tho letters and a telegram ing,** said 1 severely. “ She is a liar
to my friends in Vienna, imploring and her husband is a poltroon. They good enough to listen to me? I am not
them to look up a eorps of efficient eer positively deny your existence ia any to be trifled with. Tomorrow sometime
shall enter the east wing of this build
vants for me and to send them on post shape or form.**
“ They w on’t pay any attention to ing if I have to knock down all the
haste. I would have included a request
Guaranteed Wear Ever Hosiery T m
for a competent nurse maid if it hadn’t you,” said she, with a laugh. “ They doors on the place. Do you understand,
Hen aad Women
are
fixtures,
quite
as
much
so
as
the
madam
?’
*
been for a report from Poopendykc,
I
do
hope.
Mr.
Smart,
you
can
ar
walls
themselves.
You
II
not
be
able
to
Ladies'
Special Offer
who announced that he b* d caught a
glimpse o f a very «ursy ;o o k z g person discharge them. My grandfather tried range to break in about five o ’clock. For Lim ited T im « O n fr—
'
at one of the upper windows earlier in it fifty years ago and failed. After that It will afford me a great deal of pleas
Bis pair o f our finest 35c value lading*
ore
to
give
you
tome
tea.
May
I
ex
he
made
it
a
point
to
dismiss
Conrad
*
in
black,
tan
or
w
hits
color*
guaranteed
ho«
the day.
, tor $1 00 and 10*
w it* w ruti
I couldn't, however, for the life cf every day in the year ano Oretel every peet you at five—or thereabouts?”
for postage,
Her ealmness exasperated me. I
me understand why my neighbor ec othur day. Aa well try to remove the
SPECIAL OFFER FOR MEN
joined sneh rigid silence in our part of mountain, Mr. Smart. They know you struck the stone balustrade an em
pbatic blow with my fist, sorely peeling
the castle and yet permitted 'bat eoa can ’t get on without them.”
For a lim ited tin»« only, «1« pair* o f on*
“ I have discharged her aa a rook,” the knuckles, and ground oat:
founded dog o f hers to yowl and bark
finest 35« Tain# Guaranteed H ose any eolo*
“ For two cents I ’d do it to n ig h t!”
said, triumphantly. " A new one will
all day. How was I to know that the
Ith written guarantee and a pair of mur
“
Oh.
dear—oh,
dear!”
she
eried
wefl known M en’ s Paradise G arter« for One
beast had treed a lizard in the lower be here by the end o f the wee*:.**
Dollar,
and 10« for postage, etc.
O h,” ahe sighed plaintively, “ how mockingly.
hall and couldn’t dislodge itf
“ Yon most be a dreadfi! womaa.” 1
You know the«« h o « « ; they stood the test
Britton returned with news. The glad I am. She is an atrocious cook. I
when all other» fatted
They give real foot
ferrymen, with great joy in the telling, don’t like to eomptain, Mr. Pmart, but cried out. “ First, you make yourself com
They ba rs no seams to rip. They
fort.
baggy as Oft« ehapg
informed him that the «-eason for tour really it in getting so that I ran *t ent at home in my bonne; then yon succeed
is knit in, not proceed in.
They are Guar-
lets parties was juat beginning and that anything ahe n e e d s up. It in jolly of n stopping my workmen, steal my eook auteed
for fineness, for style, for superio ty
and
men
servants,
keep
ns
all
awave
we might expect, with them, to do a you to g«»t in n new one. Now we nhall
of material
and
wnrkmanshrp. absolu ly
and to wear six m onths without
with a b a rk in g ' dog, defying me to my
rrry fc»ppy.”
thriving and prosper©«* business dur
holes, or a new pair fret.
By Jove! * «aid I, completely stag very face— ”
ing the next month or two. Indeed,
D on’ t delay, soad la your order bofor*
“ How awfully stem you are!”
word nlrendy had been reeeived by the gored by thenn revelation*. Unable to
“ I don ’t believe a word yon sav offer expires. G ivo correct sise.
tourists company’s agent in the * cwp find suitable words tn express my aus
that a party e f one hundred and sixty- taiaed astonishment, I repeated: “ By about a sick baby—or a doctor! It s all WEAR EVER HOSIERY COIiPANT,
poppy-eeek. Tomorrow you will findj
nine would arrive the next day but one' J o v e !” but in a vnbdned tone.
Dayton, Ohio.
from München, bent o n visiting m j \ “ I have thought it ever, Mr. Smart, ’ yourself, bag aad baggage, sitting st
SY N O PSIS OF PR EV IO U S
IN STA LLM E N T S.
T
THE STORY
of a STUDENT
5wVu\yQ®oÄvtif
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