HOME AND FARM MAGAZINE SECTION
12
HOME AND FARM MAGAZINE SECTION SERIAL.
By
George Barr
McCutcheon
In the opening chapter o f ‘ ‘ A
Fool and Hia Money,” George Barr
McCutcheon’a charming novel, aerial
righta for which have been specially
obtained for the Home and Farm
Magazine Section, we learn o f the
young man who ia telling the story.
He has just written his first novel,
and at the same time has fallen heir
to an immense fortune left him by
hia uncle. He is 35 years of age.
The story continues:
(Continued From Last Week.)
OR the past year I have done little
or no work. My books are few
and far between, so few in fact,
that more than once I have felt the
sting o f dilettantism inflicting my
labors with more or less increasing
sharpness. It is not for me to say that
I despise a fortune, but I am con
strained to remark that I believe pov
erty would have been a fairer friend
to me. A t any rate I now pamper
myself to an unreasonable extent. For
one thing, I feel that I cannot work—
much less think—when opposed by dis
tracting conditions such as women, tea,
disputes over luggage, and things of
that sort. They subdue all the romantic
tendencies I am so parsimonious about
wasting. My best work is done when
the madding crowd is far from me.
Hence I seek out remoke, obscure
places when I feel the plot boiling, and
grind away for dear life with nothing
to distract me save no unconquerable
habit acquired very early in life which
urges me to eat three meals a day and
to sleep nine hours out o f twenty-four.
A month ago, in Vienna, I felt the plot
breaking out on me, very much as the
measles do, at a most inopportune time
for everybody concerned, and my secre
tary, more wide-awake than y ou ’d im
agine by looking at him, urged me to
coddle the muse while she was willing
and not to put her o ff till an evil day,
as frequently I am in the habit of
doing.
It was especially annoying, coming
as it did, just as I was about to set
o ff for a fortnight’s motor-boat trip
up the Danube with Elsie Hazzard and
her stupid husband, the doctor. I com
promised with myself by deciding to
give them a week o f my dreamy com
pany, and then dash o f f to England
where I could work o ff the story in
a sequestered village I had had in
mind for some time past.
The fourth day o f our delectable ex
cursion brought us to an ancient town
whose name you would reeall in an
instant if I were fool enough to men
tion it, and where we were to put up
for the night. On the crest o f a stu
pendous crag overhanging the river, al
most opposite the town, which isn’t far
from Krems, stood the venerable but
unvenerated castle o f that high-hand
ed old robber baron, the first o f the
Rothhoefens. He has been in his sar
eophagus these six centuries, I am ad
vised, but you wouldn’t think so to
look at the stronghold. At a glance
you can almost convince yourself that
he is still there, with battle-axe and
broad sword, and an inflamed eye at
every window in the grim facade.
We picked up a little o f its history
while in the town, and the next morn
ing crossed over to visit the place. Its
antiquity was considerably enhanced by
the presence o f a caretaker who would
never see eighty again, and whose wife
was even older. Their two sons lived
with them in the capacity o f loafers
and. as things go in these rapid times
o f ours, appeared to be even older and
more sere than their parents
F
It is a winding and tortuous road
that leads up -to the portals o f this
huge old pile, and I couldn’t help think -
>nk how stupid I have always been in
execrating the spirit o f progress that
conceives the funicular and rack and-
pionion railroads which serve to eoa
mercialise grandeur instead o f protect
ing it. H alf way up tho hill, we paused
to rest, and I quite clearly remember
growling that if the confounded thing
belonged to me I 'd build a funicular or
install an elevator without delay. Poor
Elsie was too fatigued to aay what she
- H
»
Copyright, 1913,
By Geo. Barr
McCutcheon.
A Fool and His Money
My first night had been spent in a
Fourth Avenue than was to be found
in Schloss Rothhoefen.
huge old bed, carefully prepared for
Our second and more critical survey occupancy by Herr Schmiok’s frau;
o f the lower floors o f the castle re and the hours, which never were so
vealed rather urgent necessity for ex
dark, in trying to fathom the infinite
tensive repairs and /refurbishing, but I
was not dismayed. With a blithesome space that reached above me to the
disregard for expenses, I despatched vaulted ceiling. I knew there was a
Rudolph, the elder o f the two sons, to ceiling, for I had seen its beams during
Linz with instructions to procure arti the daylight hours, but to save my
sans who could be depended upon to soul I couldn’ t imagine anything so
undo the ravages o f time to a certain far away as it seemed to be after the
extent and who might even suggest a candles had been taken away by the
remedy for leaks.
caretaker’s wife, who had tucked me
My friends, abhorring rheumatism away in the bed with ample propriety
and like complaints, refused to sleep and thoroughness combined.
over night in the drafty, almost pane
Twice during that interminable night
less structure. They came over to see I thought I heard a baby crying. 80
me on the ensuing day and begged me it is not unreasonable to suppose that
to return to Vienna with them. But, full I was more than glad to see Poopendyke
of the project in hand, I would not be clambering up the path witlf his type
moved. With the bouse full o f car writer in one hand and his green baise
penters, blacksmiths, masons, lock bag in the other, followed close behind
smiths, tinsmiths, plumbers, plasterers, by Britton and the Gargantuan broth
glaziers, joiners, scrub-women
and ers bearing trunks, bags, boxes and my
chimney-sweeps, I felt that I couldn’ t
golf clubs.
go away and leave it without a con
1 ‘ Whew 1 ” said Poopendyke, drop
trolling influence.
ping wearily upon my doorstep— which,
They promised to come and make me by the way, happens to be a rough
a nice short visit, however, after I ’d hewn slab some ten feet square sur
got the castle primped up a b it; the mounted by a portcullis that has every
mould o f f the walls o f the bedrooms intention of falling down unexpected
and the great fireplaces thoroughly
ly one of these days and creating an
cleared o f obstructive swallows’ nests, earthquake. “ W hewI” he repeated.
the beds aired and the larder stocked.
My secretary is a youngish man with
Just as they were leaving, my secre
tary and my valet put in an appear thin, stooping shoulders and a habit of
ance, having been summoned from perpetually rubbing his knees together
Vienna the day before. I confess I when he walks. I shudder to think o f
was glad to see them. The thought of what would happen to them If he un
spending a second night in that limit dertook to run. I could not resist a
less bed-chamber, with all manner of glance at them now.
“ It is something o f a elimb, isn’t
night-birds trying to get in at the win
dows, was rather disturbing, and I wel it * ” said I, beamingly.
(To Be Continued Next Week.)
I had no difficulty whatever in strik comed my retainers with open arms.
ing a bargain with the abandoned
wretch who owned the Schloss. He
seemed very eager to submit to my de
mand that he knock o ff a thousand
pounds sterling, and we hunted up a
notary and all the other officials
necessary to the transfer o f property.
A t the end o f three days, I was the
sole owner and proprietor o f a feudal
stronghold on the Danube, and the jo y
ous Austrian was a little father on
his way to the dogs, a journey he had
been negotiating with great ardour
ever since coming into possession of
an estate once valued at several mil
lions. I am quite sure I have never
seen a spendthrift with more energy
than this fellow seems to have dis
played in going through with his patri
Under new management—entire change in
mony. He was on his uppers, so to
speak, when I came to his rescue, sole
all department*—all rooms redecorated and
ly because he eouldn’t find a purchaser
or a tenant for the castle, try as he
refurnished. Particular attention is now being
wonld. Afterwards I heard that he
paid to prompt efficient and courteous service.
had offered the place to a syndicate o f
Jews for one-third the priee I paid,
bnt luckily for me the Hebraic instinct
was not so keen as mine. They let a
very good bargain get away from them.
I have not told my most intimate
friends what I paid for the castle, bnt
they are all generous enough to admit
that I could afford it, no matter what
it cost me. Their generosity stops there,
however. I have never had so many un
kind things said to me in all my life
as have been said about this purely
personal matter.
ought to have said to me for suggesting
and even insisting on the visit.
The next day, instead o f continuing
our delightful trip down the river, we
three were scurrying to Saalsburg,
urged by a sudden and stupendous
whim on my part, and filled with a
new interest in life.
I had made up my mind to buy the
castlel
The Hazzards sat up with me nearly
the whole o f the night, trying to talk
me out o f the mad design, but all to
no purpose. I was determined to be the
sort o f fool that Uncle Rilas referred
to when he so frequently quoted the old
adage. My only argument in reply to
their entreaties was that I had to have
a quiet, inspirational place in which
to work and besides I was quite sure
we could beat the impoverished owner
down considerably in the price, what
ever it might turn out to be. While the
ancient caretaker admitted that it was
for sale, he couldn’t give me the faint
est notion what it was expected to
bring, except that it ought to bring
more from an American than from any
one else, and that he would be proud
and happy to remain in my service, he
and his w ife and his prodigiously
capable sons, either o f whom if put to
the test could break all the bones in
a bullock without half trying. More
over, for such strong men, they ate very
little and seldom slept, they were so
eager to slave in the interests o f the
master. We all agreed that they looked
strong enough, but as they were sleep
ing with some intensity all the time
we were there, and making dreadful
noises in the courtyard, we could only
infer that they were making up for at
least a week o f insomnia.
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Well, to make the story short, the
Hazzards and I returned to Schloss
Rothhoefen in some haste, primarily for
the purpose o f inspeeting it from dun
geon to battlement I forgot to men
tion that, being very tired after the
elimb up the steep, we got no further
on our First visit than the great baronial
hall, the dining-room and certain other
impressive apartments customarily kept
open for the inspection o f visitors. An
interesting concession on tho part o f
the late owner (the gentleman hurry
ing to eateh up with the dogs that had
got a bit o f a start on him)—may here
be mentioned. He included all o f the
contents o f the castle for the priee
paid, and the deed, or whatever you
call it, specifically set forth that I,
John Bellamy Smart, was the sole and
undisputed owner o f everything the
eastle held. This made the baqgnia all
the more desirable, for I have never
seen n more beautiful assortment of
antique furniture and tapestry in
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