Polk County itemizer. (Dallas, Or.) 1879-1927, July 24, 1903, Image 1

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    h.-.-* ft
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V O L . X X IX .
L. N . W O O D S . M. D.
DiillHK, Oreijuii.
D 2. E. J . H O W A R D
Physician and Su rgeon
D A LLAS . O R a CON
orti 0 in L'glow htiiiiiing.
J K. 8 SLUT,
reliance, even more than grain, and
nothing else w ill make them grow' so
fast. Milk not too old is the best form,
S om e P o i n t s F o p t h e F a r m e r o n
out if enough cannot be had tine meat
F e e d in n a n d ( a r e .
Don’ t be in a burry to feed the new­ scraps w ill lie good and are convenient
to use. Feed with every meal. Hard-
ly hatched chirk*, no matter if th»*y
fy one farm flock in ten gets enough
hatch rather unevenly. The ones first
aninml food to keep it grow ing at full
out w ill be all right for a couple o f
spots!.
days at least. Their systems are full
The chicken» should have time to get
of yolk for some time, and too early
hungry. Don’ t have food where they
lVcUiuic docs harm rather than good.
H ave a little line grit where they can can stuff themselves whenever they
like and mope the rest o f the time.
find it as scon as they like.
Feed nearly but not quite all they can
Bre: d crumbs soaked in milk are
eat
ut a time and at regular hours.
pood for a start, but It 1; best to give
Poultry specialists feed often, but on
t! .*iu a scratching food a fte r a day or
tv/o. M illet seed or coarse o n lin e«1 a farm In summer it is ditticult to feed
more than three times a day. and
scattered In gravel is a good food,
chickens w ill do very well on three
i hoy can he successfully raised with
liotlihig but tine, dry grain; no soft meals, if at regular times, each day.
I f the coops are on grass sward and
:ood. But most growers prefer to give
line soft food for variety. Unless moved daily a shallow box of sand
i i*o is plenty o f grit it w ill be neces­ should be kept inside. A little trough
for each coop is a great saver o f the
sary to use soft food for the reason
soft food, and a chick fountain is a
that coarse grain canuot ho properly
digested without plenty o f grinding convenience. I f saucers and tins are
used a shingle float with a bole in the
material.
Young chicken» In coops or where center w ill keep the chickens out o f the
the hen is confined do not usually get liquid.—G. B. Flske in American Culti­
enough animal food. It is their natural vator.
Y O U N G C H ICKS.
Physician and Surgeon,
H L\ £ * * '"
¿k h ' A K I N ,
« I B I v liV
—
• ^
A llo n io y w - .i t - ljiiw ,
vVo have toe only set of ubetru:L hooka in Polk
,untv. Reliable abstracts furuiein-U. and money to
:»'i. No commission charged on 1 oa .» h . Room« 2
-id ;j vVilson’s block. Dalhu*
J. L. C O L L IN S ,
utarney and Counselor at Law,
S o l i c i t o r in I 'lia n c r r y .
I IS been n practice of hie profession in this place
aboiit thirty years, and will attend to all busiress
,»r -u ¡ted to bis .-are. Office, corner Main and Court
* Dallas, Polk Co, Or
-
h a lf
O K E Q O 1ST
A t t o r n e v a t - Iiiiw .
J .C . Baxter, Braidwood, III.
Ayer’s H air Vigor is
certainly the most eco­
nomical preparation o f its
kind on the market. A
little of it goes a long way.
It doesn’ t take much of
it to stop falling o f the
hair, make the hair grow,
and restore color to gray
h a ir .
"Fore
V L. BITLKK
K F. COÀD
B U T L E R & CO Ai>
Attorneys-at-Law
£ u re t> o
o < | [Y o P a y
. . . 5 0
C a r e t s ...
the strength of meat
without the heat
Odice,
Enclosed with every bottle
cen t package o f G rove’s
B L A C K ROOT
is a 10
L I V E R P IL L S .
J. H. T O W N S E N D
R-I-PA-N-S Tubules
Doctors find
A good prescription
For mankind.
A tto rn e y -a t-L a w
OKEUON
Room 2 O ifielii building.
E xolu dss Chops a n d S teak s,
11 ‘ F o rc e ’
is a regu lar breakfast fo o d in
liny fa m ily to the exclusion o f »teak s or chops, j
the o ld standard.
A . G r a n g e a.
‘
MOTOR TIME TABLE.
Leaves Independence for Monmouth and \irlie —
, :80 a in
3:30 p in
Leave« Independnce for Monmouth and Dallas—
11:10 am
6 15pm
Leav»« Monmouth for Airlie -
.50 a m
3:50 p m
I .eaves Monmouth for Dallas—
11:20 a in
7:30 pm
Leaves Airlie for Monmouth and Independence—
9:00 a in
5 p m
Leaves Dallas for Mm moui U an» In.ie eude» :e—
1:00 pm
7 30 p m.
W — 13
SALEM’S
BEST
STÖRS
« ’ a s h le r .
W . C. V A 8 S A L L , assista n t C a s h ie r
UALLAS
C i I i
iiA iS lt
1- known s s Ilio pince w !»» to tho best good* are sold for the h*a>t
m om v . Up to d ale shop keeping is our aim . Slap d ad i, happy
thuds do not go here. T h ere is too much
go lucky, win o lose
htiilding h u eim si on t of m ateiial that will last,
at slake. W e a
OF DALLAS, OREGON,
Transacts a general hanking tmsi
uess in all its branches; buys and sells
exchange on principal points in the
United States ; makes collections on all
points in the P acilic N o rth w es t; loans
money and discounts paper at the best
rates ; allow interest on tim e deposits.
HONEST GOODS
[HONEST PRICES
¡HONEST SERVICE
DR. J O R D A N 'S
great
t
t ■
I *
MUSEUM OF ANATOMY1'
'
11611 IfcK T ST., I l l Ft IIC1SCI, OIL 1
)
T h e L a r g e s t A natom ical M u seu m in th e ,
W o r ld
W c a k n c s -e s or a n y c o n tr a c te d '
d ia e a te
y th e o ld e st
i
Sp ecial!«* on th e C o a s t Eat. 36 ye ars.
| ’
T H IS S IG N A T U R !
in every instant1.* <>r room y refunded. S>di.-facfion
i* . c itin g ..hat yon want. W c tell the truth about our goods or 4J?
will refund your money. If your purchase at, S alem ’ s beat t-tore
doe* not prove «n tir t ly sati-fe» tory, a chance to m ake it right i*
earnesih requested
N oth in g is any h oliier to us if it result* in
S A T IS F A C T IO N .
Mail Orders Will Receive Prompt Attention *
OR. JORDAN — DISEASES OF MEN <
R Y P S I I . m th o ro u g h ly e r a d fia te d
from » y ite m w ithout th e u^e o f S S * > r e « r 7
t r a w w fitted h y an F .sp erL B a i l -
mm I « e a r « (or B a p t u r r . a q u ick an d
q d i c t l c u r e fo r P l l w a . F l a s a r a and
F l a t a l m , l>jr U r. J o rd a n 's s p e c ia l pain
i
S
W
A
t
f
#
Satisfaction
> v i s i t
The 5 cent package is enough for usual occasions. I
Tho family bottle, 60 cents, contains a supply for a
year. All druggists sell them.
CURES A COLD IN ONE DAY
CURES GRIP IN TW O DAYS
It . K. W I L L I A M S .
P r e s id e n t .
1 )
’
, |
\
1
| '
S p a u ld i n g ’s
A t h le t ic C o o d s
SOUTHERN PACIFIC
- Lee Smith's Cyclery
T IM E T A B L E
COKVALLI8 ’MAIL—DAILY
7 30 s m Lv............ Portland......... Ar 5:50 p m
10:46 a m Lv............. Derry............... Lv 2;13 p m
11:45 p m A r......
Corvallis..
Lv 1:20 pm
At Albany anti Corvallis connect with train« of
Oregon Central amt Eastern railroad.
YAMHILL Dir 1810!»:
Passenger
foot of Jt ffer-ion street
AIKL1E FREIGHT—TEI-WEEKLY
Leave 7:40 a m .. Portlantl....... Arrive 3:32pm
Leave 3:50 pm ........ Dallas.......... Arrive 8:20 a m
Arrive 5:05 p m ....... Airlie
Leave 7:00 am
Dallas Foundry!
— A L L EIND S O F—
£ Van Orsdel, Hayes & Co-,5
IRON W ORK TO ORDER
p
Repairing Promptly Done.
p
A.
J.
-
M A R T IN ,
P A IN T E R ,
Ing. k.Uoming and piper hinging.
*
*
p
P
REAL E S T A T E DEALERS
FARMS AND C ITY LO TS
PROP. p p
Hoiue, «ign and ornamental, grain
P tlU l,
"I dreaded the change of life which
was fast approaching. I noticed Wine
of Caruui, and decided to try a bot­
tle.
1 experienced some relief the
first month, so I kept on taking it for
three months and now I menstruate
with no pain and I shall take it off and
on now until I have passed the climax.”
Female weakness, disordered
manses, falling of the womb and
ovarian troubles do not wear off.
They follow a woman to the change
of life. l>o not wait but take Wine
of Cardui now and avoid the trou­
ble. W ine of Cardui never fails
to benefit a suffering woman of
any age. W ine of Cardui relieved
Mrs. Webb when she was in dan­
ger. When you come to the change
of life Mrs. W ebb’s letter will
mean more to you than it does
now. But you may now avoid the
suffering she endured. Druggists
sell $1 bottles of W ine of Cardui.
O bboos
P
P
P
P
Purchasing agent for W C. McClure, of Saginaw, 5
p Michigan, and other eastern timl>er dealer«. Room 5
p l, upstairs, Wilson building.
^
\D ALLAS
*
-
A 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4
M I NT A P P E A R
ON EVERY BOX OF THE GENUINE
TH E EASTM AN BARN.
barn.
Sliding doors, controlled by
weights, are used at the ends o f the
mow. They are closed when the hay
is in the mow’. There are doors along­
side o f the haymow. When filling the
mow w e leave a space o f four feet be­
tween the hay and the sides o f the
barn, which enables us to throw hay
into the racks when feeding. The south
end is open. The north end has doors
which w e close in bad weather. W e
have lots on the north, south and east
o f the barn and scales east of the barn,
so w e can weigh cattle any time.
This barn w ill easily accommodate
100 cattle. W e are now feeding 101
head, ninety-seven o f which are Here-
fords. This kind o f a barn is a great
time and labor saver. W e keep it well
bedded and It is always dry.
fact that runts grow so w ell wnen
given a show by themselves does not
prove that a better pig would not grow
equally w ell or better If given a
chance. It Is so natural with many
hog raisers to neglect the shotes that
are running out on pasture In the
summer, or, rather, It ls such a con­
firmed habit, that it appears natural.
Fat H o »«
t
- OREGONJ
4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 .iV
In an Incubator?” T o the first question
1 would say never put w ater ion eggs
under a hen, writes a correspondent of
Rural N ew Yorker. Study the habits
o f birds and hens, and you w ill see
why. The hen alw ays leaves the nest
some time In the day. usually In the
early morning, when the air is cool and
moist. The eggs are heated up to 103 to
104 degrees, and when the cool, moist
morning air strikes the warm eggs it
deposits moisture on them. This mois­
tens the hells sufficiently without any
additional moisture. In an Incubator,
however, the eggs do not receive
enough moisture from the atmosphere,
and so more moisture should be given
to secure the best results. A t least I
have alw ays found It so.
.WINEo'CARDUL
F or F o ir
I
Y ears.
The follow in g was the monthly aver­
age price o f hogs in the western and
central states’ markets during the first
three months for four years, Including
this year:
S W IN E
B R E E D IN G
I have often heard it said that the
runt pig w ill make the largest hog and
this is the belief o f many persons.
W hile this is not true no doubt this
belief originated from the custom of
taking off the runt from the dam and
potting It and thus givin g it a better
chance than its mates, says A. J. Ix»gg
In Stockman and Farmer. Sometimes
it is the cuse that the runt pig has
the principle in It to make the best
hog, however, as it becomes the runt
because it eats slower than its mates
and w hen the food supply is limited It
does not get a fair share and its mates
get tlie start o f it because they get
more food. The longer they are kept
together the greater the difference. If
tho runt is put by itself and allowed to
eat at its leisure it masticates its food
better and gives better grow th for food
consumed titan Its stronger and more
greedy mates would do.
I f given a
chance It will soon outstrip its mates
in grow th and give some foundation
for the belief that the runt makes the
best hog. It makes the best hog reah.>
because it gets the best chance. How
ever, in such cases it is a very good
plan when one or tw o pigs are kept
up in the pen to select the runts for
this purpose, as they w ill usually make
good hogs, but if left with their mutes
they w ill alw avs remain runts. The
1906.
J a n u a ry ............ $5.55
F e b ru a ry ........... 6.95
6.95
M arch ................ 7.31
7.31
1902.
$6.20
6.12
6.35
1901.
$5.22
5.40
5.77
1900.
$4.55
4.90
5.00
It w ill be seen that hogs brought bet­
ter prices this year than during the
past three, indicating the shortage
which has been claimed to exist for
some months past.
The extreme
range or top prices for choice lots went
to $7.10 In January, nnd to $7.55 in
February find March.—Midland Farm ­
er.
C a r e o f D r e e d ln a r S o n i .
M ite »
L ik e d
th e
Tobacco.
Our experience does not confirm the
opinion o f the many poultry writers
who recommend tobacco powder or to­
bacco stems In nests to keep insect par­
asites away, especially chicken mites.
Some years ago, huving an unsalable
crop o f tobacco on hand, w e made all
their nests o f tobacco leaves, satisfied
that w e would thereby exterminate
mites. The result was the worst at­
tack from these pests we ever suffered.
They swarmed among the tobacco
leaves by thousands.
This tobacco
was very strong Connecticut seed leaf
and was cured a deep, dark brown;
but It seemed that the stronger It was
the better the mites liked It as a home.
—Farm and Rauch.
C h ic k e n »
E n tered
th e
M in is t r y .
In an Ohio towu the African Metho­
dist Episcopal church o f that district
held a conference, and for a week the
town was filled with colored pulpit ora­
tors. A few days after the conference
closed Its sesslou one o f the leading
women o f the town drove out to Pea
IUdge to purchase chickens o f nn old
mammy who had supplied the family
for years. Aunt Hannah, coming to
the gate, said: “ I ’ m sorry, Miss Allle,
I ain’t got a chicken l e ft Dey all doue
enter de ministry.” —Exchange.
The sows should have plenty of
exercise at all times, especially after
being bred. In summer they may be
turned out to pasture, which should
consist o f barley, oats, peas and rape,
with a little dry feed once a day to
counteract the green forage. A little I
PEN, PENCIL AND BRUSH.
ground oats mixed with clean water or I
milk Is good. In w inter one feed o f
Mme. Rosa Bonheur was seventy
ground oats a day with plenty o f water years old when she painted her best
ls sufficient.
OatR tend to produce picture,
“ Horses
Tram pling
Out
good growth o f bone and muscle in the W h e a t”
sows, ns well as good strong litters.
Mrs. M ary Holland Klnkald, the au­
D e m a n d F o r B reed ern .
thor, is described as “ a winning, frank
There is no necessity for n breeder spoken, attractive woman, who has
o f pure bred hogs sending any stock
led a strenuous life.”
fit for breeding purposes to the slaugh­
Henri W illem Mesdag, the Holland
terer nowadays. There never was a painter, has decided to offer his fa ­
better demand for breeding hogs than mous collection o f paintings to the
exists right now. Breeders who adver­ Dutch people. The collection Is valued
tise are sold close to their limit. Those st several million florins.
who cannot sell at good prices are those
The oldest author In England ls Dr.
who don’ t let the public know that they
Samuel Smiles, the author o f “ Self
have good hogs for sale. It pays to
Help,” who has Just turned ninety.
breed hogs, and It pays to let the pub­
Dr. Smiles has now surpassed the ago
lic know It, not only in such times as
o f I^indor, who lacked a few months
these, but all the time.
o f being ninety wheu he died.
H o w to n o il W a t e r .
“ T o boil water would seem to be a
very simple thing,” say* a w riter In
the Boston Cooking School Magazine,
“ and yet the late Charles Delmonico
us»*d to say that very few people know
how to do it. ‘The secret is.’ he «aid,
‘In putting good fresh water Into a
kettle, already quite warm, setting tho
w ater to boiling quickly and then tak- I
lug It right o ff for use in tea. coffee or
B f f r l n n f n a W i t h I 'l a e o n » .
other drink* before It is spoiled. T o !
In answer to the question, “ How
let it steam and simmer and evaporate
should I l»egln squab raising?” the
until the good w ater is in the utmos- j
pigeon editor o f the Feather says:
phere and only the lime and Iron and |
My advice Js first build a neat house,
<lured by siege if the
dregs left in the kettle is what makes :
1 garrison could be starved '-r—
say 10 by 12 feet, setting It up on brick
a great many people sick, and it Ls
—
out. The strongest body L
piers about a foot from the ground, so
has to give up the fight
worse than no water at all.' For wa- j
as to avoid all danger from rats. Make
when
starvation
weakens
ter boiled like this and flavored with a :
the fly o f w ire netting 8 feet high, 10
it.
There are more deaths
fe w drops o f lemon juiee Mr. Delmon
by 14 feet. This w ill accommodate
from
starvation
than
the
world
t loo list'd to charge as mnch as for hi* |
dreams of. When the stomach is dis­ tw enty-five pairs o f birds. Make nests
! best liquors, and he often recommend­ eased and the food eaten is not digested Inside the house a foot square and
ed it to his customers and friends who and assimilated, then the strength of the nine Inches high, having the bottoms
complained o f loss o f appetite. It I h body begins to fail because of lack of removable for cleaning out. Keep sand
worth trying.”
nutrition, and the weak body falls an on the floor n!>out a quarter o f an Inch
easy victim to the microbes of disease.
i thick, nnd use a cheese box lid to feed
Dr. Pierce’s Golden Medical Discovery
H o w t o C « f B «»ef M a r r o w .
out o f and get a tw o gallon stone foun­
Beef marrow taken from the soup cures diseases o f the stomach and other tain for drinking water, a small box
organs of digestion and nutrition. It
bone» anti round steak Is excellent for
for salt, one for oyster shells a ml one
restores physical strength in the only
cooking purposes. Cut it in small bits, possible way, by enabling the assimila­ for charcoal. Level the ground within
put It in a covered small jar. set in a tion of the nutrition contained in food. the fly, nnd cover about four Inches
pun o f water and place over the fire
deep with clean, gritty sand - not grnv-
" I waft si k for over three years with a com
o f stomach traubleu," write« Mr. John
to simmer gently. W hen ail melted,
el full o f stones, but good sand. You
S lication
[ C-ifttonn. reskltnf at 2942 Arch St.. Chicago,
strain through a thin cloth Into a clean fillTioi«i.
are now ready to get birds. Oet some
"H nfl tried every good physican I
pan. let settle for a few minutes, then kne w of. a.ft well a« many patent medicine«, but one who knows how to purchase your
received only temporary relief.
One day a
pres* Into small Jars anti tie siH'urely. friend recommended your ‘ Golden Medical Di»- stock - first class Homers. If possible—
aoeery.
I immediately procured acme and be­
It w ill keep for months.
from some reliable breeder. Start with,
gun its uae Commenced to gain the firat week
and after I had taken only one bottle I could
say. five pairs o f birds that are surely
eat aft well a« any f.ne without experiencing ill
f l o w t o M a k e M a r o n n n l o e D reanlntr.
known to be mated, and study these
I took five bottle», nnd to-day am happy
Mix together one teaspoonful each of effect»
to announce that I am os well and healthy as
birds until you become acquainted with
mustard and salt, a few grains o f cay­ tn y one could be I owe it all to Dr. Pierce's then» and have successfully raised Sev­
enne anti the yolks o f tw o raw eggs. Golden Medical Discovery."
The sole motive for substitution is to ern! pnirs o f squabs, then add five or
Add slowly one-half a pint o f olive oil-
permit the dealer to make the little more ten more pairs o f birds as you prefer,
two ta Ideal Kjonfu is o f vinegar and
profit paid bv the sale of less meritorioui but do not put any new birds In the
two tablespoouftila o f lemon Juice. medicines. He gains. You lost. There­ bonne or fly until they are surely
Just before serving add tw o table­ fore accept no substitute for " Golden
mated.
spoon fills o f thick cream, whipped. Medical Discovery.”
T h e M o o te d M o la t a r c q u e s t i o n .
FRF.B.
Dr. Pierce’s Common Sense
The cream may t)e omitted, if pre­
The question has often beeu asked
ferred. H ave everything cold, and oet Medical Adviser is sent free on receipt
of
sumps
to
pay
expense
of
mailing
me, "W ould you recommend putting
the bowl Into a pan o f Ice water or
only. Send twenty-one one-cent stamp» eggs Into warm water to make It eas
chipped Ice. Add the oil very slowly
for the book in paper covers, or thirty-
at first. A fte r the first few tahlespoon- one stamp* for the cloth-hound volume. ler for chicks to break the shell?” ami.
fuls have been added it can l>e added Address Dr. R. V. Pierce, Buffalo, N. Y. » W ould you advise one to uoe moisture
more rapidly.
X
Get your obi
bicycle enameled
ami cleaned up—
Enamel b ked on
bike at factory.
DALLAS PASSENGER—DAILY, E*. SUNDAY
:00 p m Lv............Portland............ ArlO 20 a m
:20 pm Ar........... Dallas
........ Lv 7:00
ED. BID D LE,
V i c e - I 'r r s i U ^ n l W o n a n ' s I)«-iuo>
c r o t t c « h ilts o f N o r f l i e r t i O h io .
$1.N • bottle. All OraffltU.
The Ready-to-Serre Cereal
D A L L A S , OUKUON.
W ill practice in all cou iis.
over bank.
R. C. C R A V EN
For
I f y*ur druggist cannot supoly you,
■end is one dollar and wo w ill’ express
you a bottle. Be sure and giv e the name
o f your nearest express olliee. Address,
J. C. A V E K CO., Lowell, Mass.
fio
ORKGON.
•
G re a t T im e a n d L a b o r S a v e r
t h e C a t t le F a r m e r .
W e submit the plan of a cattle barn
which w e have used for three years
and consider the best o f any we have
seen, w rite Eastman Bros., of Hancock
county, 111., in Breeder's Gazette. W e
obtained our plan from John Clark of
Illinois, who has used barns like It for
many years. The barn is 90 feet by
<8 feet. It is a pole barn with posts
20 feet high, and a comcrib 80 by 12
feet runs through the center o f the
barn. The low er boards o f the crib
are hinged and feed boxes built on
level with the crib bottom so as to
make practically a »e lf feeder, espe­
cially when feeding shelled corn. Hogs
I sleep under the comcrib.
Hayracks on the sides are eighty feet
long. Liuy in put in ut the ends o f the
Has stood the test oP25 years. A n ­
nual salt* over 1,500,000 bottles.
Does this record of m er­
it appeal to you?
W h j, * Force/ of course," laughed 14 Sunnj
Jim."
O lliee u p stairs in Campbv-11' * build
ing.
-
a ho.Hi cured me.”
AN ILLINOIS BARN."
A
TASTELESS CHILL TONIC
Jim Dumps asserted, “ T o o much meat
In summer causes too much heat.
W h a t shall w e eat all summer long
T h a t, w ith ou t meat, shall keep us strong,
And in the best o f summer trim ?
OSCAR H A ÏT Ü R .
D ALLAS
NO. 30.
Q R O V E ’S
K 'lu m 1, O n tieU l b u i l d i n g .
D ALLAS
:
“ I tried A yer’ , Hair Vigor to
s:op my h a ir from falling. One-
J. N. U A K T
-
r =
7 Hair
T Falls
A T T O R N E Y -A T -L A W .
E, A L I i A . 8 ,
g =
D A I L A S O R U G O N J U L Y 24, 1903
i
TRA IN AND TR A C K .
Austria Is tp have a transcontinental
railway from Adelaide to Fort Darwin.
The railway from Caracas to Valen­
cia. fifty-five miles, has elghty-slx tun­
nels.
Berlin local trains now have special
compartments for “ passengers with
dogs.”
The average cost per year o f main­
taining a locomotive ls $t>5i) for shop
labor and $856 for found house, the to­
tal being $1.315.
J IN G L E S AND J E S T K
‘
So S a r w « A l l o f t §.
W h e n I w « « Ju»t a little boy
M y gran ther used to Bay.
"JuBt keep oil g ro w in g, sonny, and
Y o u 'll be a man soma d a y .”
A h , a o u ld m y g r a n ’ ther could d eo ra «
A n o th e r kind o f Joy,
A n d I could g r o w the e th e r w a y
U n til I waa a boyl
—B a ltim o re N t w a
The
D is t in c t io n .
" I don’ t see what right you have to
turn up your antenna* at me,” sakl the
clam. “ I am as good as you are.”
" I deny It,” said the lobster. “ A n y­
body can l>e a clam, but In order to
be a lobster oue has to be born a lob­
ster."—Chicago Tribune.
* it
H o w H e D I4 It.
H e atam m era pain fu lly, and yet
H e 's w on the h eart of- M a ry,
T h e fa ire s t o f the fo r t y maids
T h a t g ra ce the sem in ary.
B u t Madge, demureet o f the lot
O f fo r t y W insome misses,
Suggests a caues—"P e rh a p s.” she sajrflt
" H e stutters when he kisses.”
-B ro o k ly n Eagle.