Image provided by: Dallas Public Library; Dallas, OR
About Polk County itemizer. (Dallas, Or.) 1879-1927 | View Entire Issue (March 3, 1893)
m Ir? y o u a W a r e That tnla Papur has 1 • f CorruipsnduuU, alt ing represented; the aewelest aed its i choicest, la ovary family papar. Yaa i t th e ITEMIZER h a i th e L a rg e st o u 'a tia n af any f ^ p e r Publlehed In P h lk C ounty, and it Read by N early ( v e r y Fam ily w ithin its B oundaries. H you w ith to Reach E veryone, p a t ronize thooo a d v e rtisin g colum ns, and P r o f 'r f by it. - A,x,.rS DALLAS, OREGON, FRIDAY, MARCH 3 1893. YOL. XIX. P R O F E S S IO N A L J. M. KEENE, C A H D S. GOOD j D. D. S. B D e n i a l office m U reytn.in UroMii-r'» litn M iu « . c o r n e r of C o u rt a n d Com - ra e re ia l etri ets , SALEM- FOR THE PRICE OF ONE. ORECOii. — L N P H Y S IC IA N A N D 8C U U E O N , FOB THIS TEAR. D alian, O reg o n , — ■**.— —THIS PAPER— M. D . — W IT H ----- Physician and Surgeon, iD A L L A B , — Our Premiums WOODS. M D B. H. M eC A L L O N , m THE SAN FRANCISCO Weekly Call! R O , « o v e r B ro w n & S o n ’* Bt»)re. F R IC K S I . 33 P E R Y EA R, H. C, J. K. B ibi . ry , HO J . I>AUY, E a k in . THE SAN FRANCISCO * DALY, SIBLEY & EAKIN, Morning Call! ; v \ t t o n t c y s - n t - 1 -.»*« . f t W e have th e only »ft of .»b»>tra**t httok» in P"lk MUMty Kflial»!« »'»»trAfti fiiriii»iird, a n d m oney to Qian No o.iiim»iit»icn rh»r(e<t t»n loan». Hootu» * Of ».I j VSilHoiib block. Dell»»- PR IC K 1 6 .0 0 P E R YEAR. ------ J4 * ------- ,11E GAM FR A N C IS C O W EE K L Y CALL Is a handsom e e ight- p age p ap er. I t is issued every T h u rs d a y , an d c o n ta in s all of the im p o rta n t new s of the w eek, gleaned from every q u a r te r o f th e globe, com plete up to d a te o f publication. I t fur- nishes th e la te st an d m ost reliab le financial new s and m a rk e t q u o ta tio n s, a< d gives special a tte n tio n to horticu l tu ra l and a g ric u ltu ra l news, and Is in every re s p e c t a first- class fam ily paper, appealing to th e in te re s t of every m em ber o f th e hou sehold. _ »» ------ V+r------- * P f % H K M O R N IN G C A L L J. L. COLLINS, Attorney and Counselor at Law, M ollrllor ■> I S » « c « r . H a . been in prautioo o l lii. prolw isioii in th is w th irty ynnm , nnd will • ttw n d tn »11 hum »•» onti u a tf i to hi» care. Office, c o rn e r M»»n a n d C ourt tn, D q II im , Polk Co, Or , K. L. J. H. TowHMmu, BUTLER & TOWNSEND, B i . t i . k h , A T T O R N E Y S -A T -L A W . f i Office u p u tairu in O dd F ellow « new kloc-k. O R K a o ^ r. U A . L L . A .Ö , (SKVKN lhBDKSA WlCKK) 3m 1» a live m e tro p o litan d aily . I t Is th e M O ST R E L IA B L E , and is recognized as being th e L E A D IN G N E W S P A P E R of the Pacific C oast. E ith e r of the above papers we w ill sen d p o stp aid as a pre m ium on re c e ip t of th e follow in g s u b sc rip tio n prices fo r the c o m b in a tio n : T . L. BU T L JC R , COUNTY SURVEYOR | All k in k « of w o rk in th e lin e of stir k e y in g p ro m p tly d o n e . A d d re ss. Dal- H E ^ M u re . It n e a lth cieam S o »Tinkle« • E n Jo n ji'd by .• nnSnS DAILY GALL build» up and t h e akin a nd b e a u tifie s th e com plexion. or ftabbine»» billow th is trr a tin rn t. AMD m iS PAPER, PER YEAR, phynloians a nd lead in g so ciety ladies. TREATED BY MAIL CONFIDENTIAL ,$600 Mir at. 1« HI art In«. R-nd « ewnU 1 b Samm frr parti -olBn »0 i t . i a r i i n i L i t i t i i i » m i n t e n u ii, ill 'rompt. Progressive. m a u v a . n o . Popular. WEEKLY CALL And This Pap°r, P j Year, IN S U R A N C E $2 -25 C O . ADVA. CK. H e a d O ffic e : . 33 WASHINGTON STREET, PORTLAND, OK. The Leading Home Company. W I MAMK a 8.Y EOI ALT Y » r m v u « * » « ON Cborh»» and Parsonages, Dwellings and Household Goods, Hchools and other Public Buildings, Farm Buildings and Farm Property. —1)1 RKCKOKS >— I J. IfcCRAKKN, F. K. ARNOLD, D. D. OLIPHANT H. L. PITTOCK, J. K. GILL, J. LOEWENBERG, F. EGGF.KT, F. M WARREN, J 8. COOPER, 8. E. YOUNG, E. P. McOORNACK. H. M. GRANT. K J . LOW EN BERG, Secretai y and Manager President. I D. B. MCDONALD, TRUCKMAN, D a lla s : O r e g o n A fair » h a re of p a tr o n a g e solicited a n d all o rd e rs p r o m p tly tilled. A . J. M A K T I N , P A IN T E R , H o u s e , sig n a n d o r n a m e n ta l, g ra in in g , k a ls o m in g a n d pa|>er h a n g in g . D allas . - ° BKOOW T r y in g To Make The Itemizer The Best W ILS O N S l C O ., Druggists I ApothscariEs. ¿¡F t D ealer in drug«, chemic 1» and perfumery «tationery, to ilet article., meerchanm pipe». ' I ) cigar», ¿ h a c c ... etc , etc. P a re liquor» for y / \ I medicinal purpnne» only. Phv»iei»n« pre 1 \ J 1 IV ■criptiona compounded day or night, »lain | ■ tre e L o p p o s it e c o u r t hou»«, D a lla » , l l r . F O R M E D IC IN E S ! —OQ TO THE— McCoy Drug Store, C o u n ty . C o m p a re A nd - YOU IN J U N O il a i u i i 1. DON'T VtNOtll PO N TIA C G E T S RID OF SOME GREAT what a comfort it is to have ready at hand a remedy that never fails to relieve Constipation, and that, without pain or discomfort; and almost immediately cures head aches, and dispels every symptom of Dyspepsia. Such a remedy is found in ¡Simmons Liver Regu lator—not a sweetened compound to nauseate, or an intoxicating beverage to cultivate an alcoholic anpetite, but a medicine pleasant to the taste, and perfectly harmless when given to the smallest child. S. L. R. never disappoints. I t possesses the virtues and perfec tions of a reliable remedy of the kind endorsed by eminent physicians. “ I t affords m e pleasure to add m y te sti m ony to those you receive a n n u a lly In reference to yo u r valu ab le m edicine. 1 consider S im m ons Liver R egulator the best fam ily m edicine on th e m arket. I have prescribed it w ith ex ce lle n t re s u lts /’ —W. F. P a r k , M. D., T racy City, T eun. G E M S IN VhhbE. THOUGHTS. H e K ay» I t 1» B a d E u u u g h t o B e a n I n ju n W ith o u t ta in W h i t e ’s If you hear a prayer th a t moves you Hy its hum ble, pleading tone. Join it. Do not let the seeker Bow before his God alone. W hy should not your brother share The strength of “ two or th re e ” in prayer? If you see the hot tears falling From a brother’s weeping eyes. Stop them , and by kindly sharing Own your kinship with the skioa. W hy should any one be glad W hen n brother’s h e art is sad? If a silvery laugh goes rippling Through the sunshine on his face. Share it. 'Tis si wise m an's saying— For both grief ami Joy a place. There's health and goodness iu the m irth In which an honest laugh has birth. If your work is m ade more easy By a friendly, helping hand, Snj so. Speak out bravely and tru ly Ere the darkness veils the land. Should a brother w orkm an dear F alter for a word of cheer? S catter thus your seeds of kindness. All enriching, as you go. Leave them. T ru st the H arvest Giver. He will m ake each seed to grow. So until its happy end Your life shall never lack a friend. A m erica. Oh, Mighty Princess, plucked from th y too savage lord. How beautiful thou a r t in thy new statel The arm s and heart of freedom gave thee grace Thou had.-rt not known if thou hadst slum bered on. The world indeed had never known thy like. For there are uone like thee in all the e arth; None e'er approach to th y near perfect state Or give to grand hum anity one tith e of all thy gifts. The strong right hand of every son thou claim 'st Should never be uplifted but in love for thee. To stay or slay the base, ignoble hind W ho seeks to take thy life or do thee wrong. A merica! Bold synonym of courage and of tru th , God give thee trium ph in its noblest sense To p attern a fte r Go<l indeed, if so m ight be. And to thy earthly gifts add these— Love, justice, mercy: they will bring thee peace, The “ peace th a t passeth understanding” which shall grow Till all thy wakened shores shall feel its glew. —Eliza Allison P ark. B e tte r to F a il. ’Tis be tte r to fail w here a n o th e r succeeded W ho sacrificed principle, honor and tru th . Too often, alas, are these virtues unheeded To gain w hat is sought by the am bitions youth. The struggle to live, to excel one another. To win great applause anti the pleasure it brings. Has made men forget both th e ir neighbor and brother Anti placed on their hum ors adaptable wings. And then w hat of him who is hum ble, more modest. W ho does what he can to uphold w hat Is liest? Does he seek applause when he enters a pro test? “P erhaps,” say a few. “Aye, aye,” say the rest. Yet th ink of the lives th a t have c rossed “over yonder,” Whose voices are hushed in th a t sound final •deep— Grant! lives, over which e'en philosophers pon d er— W hat praises in life did those noble men reap? M artiu Hennessey. L ie d A b o u t— C ap P a r tic u la r F a v o r— H e A B a d F a il u r e .—W e hold a m o rtg ag e on th e office of o u r esteem ed contem porary. H is w hole o u tfit is n ’t w o rth over |600, b u t [Copyright, l«Wf, by Charles B. Lewis.] T hen P o n tia c arose an d w ra p p e d his w c k in d ly loaned $500 on it. W e a lso regu b la n k e t a ro u n d him w ith g re a t d ig n ity and la rly b u y u p 450 copies o f h is 460 c irc u la tion in o rd e r to help him along. W e lik e began: w ise lend him in k a n d paper an d o th e r M y ears h av e d ru n k in th e worths o f m y th in g s, a n d allow hi in to sho o t a t u s as w h ite b ro th er. H e ha« spoken w ith a sin often a« he w a n ts to. T h is goes to show gle tongue. H e ha« to ld u s m a n y tr u t h s th a t w e a re n o t a bad m a n a t h e a rt, a n d is a n d no lien. I have a lw ay s been a very th e rea«on also w hy we n ev er lose o u r te m te n d e r h e a rte d In ju n . These seven scalps per w h en he a buses us. A w eek ago, w ith you see here a re from th e h e ad s of o u t c o n su ltin g anybody, o u r esteem ed cam e w h ite people, b u t 1 did not ta k e th e m . o u t w ith n call for a g ra n d C o lu m b u s cen I tra d e d a pony for th e jo b lo t, and te n n ia l m e e tin g to be held on th e san d lots every tim e I look a t th e m I feel so rry for S a tu rd a y n ig h t. H e also announced th a t th e poor victim s. I have m a n y tim e s ru n he w o u ld d e liv e r th e address. A t 8 o’clock aw ay from w h ite c h ild re n in ste ad of scalp- S a tu rd a y n ig h t w e s tro lle d over to the place an d found an au d ie n ce of one—H a lf B reed J o e W h ite , w ho h a d been b rib ed to a tte n d . O u r esteem ed w as deliv erin g his address. I t w as th e self sam e speech we g o t off in th is tow n la s t F o u rth of J u l y - bad g ra m m a r, G eorge W ash in g to n , th e C o n tin e n ta l congress, A m erican eayie and all. H e h a d n ’t even changed an ex clam a tio n p o in t, a n d he used tl** w ords, Sic tra n s it s im ilib u s c u ra n te s, ju s t w here w e did. H e even ju m p e d u p a n d dow n a n d flung h is a rm s a b o u t a n d s w e a t u n d e r th e collar in im ita tio n of o u r style. W e o u g h t to h ave ru n h im in to th e d a rk n e ss, b u t we w a lk ed a w a y an d le ft him s p o u tin g to his sleepy a u d ie n ce o f one. T h in g s happen oc c asio n a lly to p a ra ly z e a m an. W e w ere so k n o c k ed o u t th a t we c o u ld n 't even raise o u r voice in protest. W a n ts to Be an Now! If you have a friend w orth loving. Love him. Yes, and let him know T hat you love him ere life’s evening Tinge his brow w ith sunset glow. W hy should good words m *er be said Of a friend ¡ill he is dead? If you hear a song lLint thrills you Sung by any child of son*. P raise it. Do not let the singer W ait deserved praises hmg. W hy should one who th rills your heart Lack the joy you may im part? B e in g A n g e l. £ _i / *v- W n iT E BROTHER, I HAVE SPOKE, in g th em . H e re are tw e n ty -tw o n otches c u t in th e h a n d le of m y to m a h a w k . Som e new spaper fe lle r h a s spread th e re p o rt th a t each notch s ta n d s fo r a w h ite m a n I have slain w ith m y ow n hand. I t is n o t so. T hose a re m y ta lly m a rk s for ra b b its . T he w h ite m a n sh o u ld n o t lie a b o u t h is m l b ro th e r an d tr y to m a k e him o u t w orse th a n he is. I t has been ch arg ed th a t I led th e p a rty w hich k ille d eig h teen w h ite persons a t th e ford on W h ite riv e r, and th a t 1 preserved th e e ars of th e v ic tim s for w a ll o rn a m e n ts in m y tepee. T h a t is a n o th e r m ista k e . T h a t p a rty w as led by M au-w ho-w eeps, and th e triflin g c irc u m s ta n c e occurred on a day w hen I w as o tf on a h u c k le b erry picnic. I have also u n d e rs to o d th a t th e people w a n ted to be k ille d a n d ask e d it as a favor. C om e to m y tepee a n d look fo r ears, a n d you w ill look in vain. M rs. P o n tia c w ill te ll you th a t w e n e v er h a d a blam ed ear, w h ite or red, in o u r possession. I d id n ’t even know of th e k illin g fo r a w eek, a n d th e n M an- w ho-w eeps in c id e n ta lly m e n tio n e d i t w hile w e w ere o u t coon h u n tin g . I t ’s bad enough to be an I n ju n w ith o u t b ein g lied a b o u t by w h ite m en w h o w a n t o u r land. I t h as f u r th e r been charged t h a t I m u r d ered C a p tain W h ite w ith m y ow n hands, and t h a t w hen he begged fo r h is life I lau g h ed a t h im . In th e first place, C a p ta in W h ite cam e to m e an d said h e w as sick a n d tire d of th e c o u n try a n d had B rig h t’s d is ease. H e a sk e d i t a s a p a rtic u la r fav o r th a t I to m a h a w k him , and he coaxed an d a rg u e d for m ore th a n tw o h o u rs before I w o u ld consent. N o In ju n ever to m a haw k ed a w h ite m a n m ore g e n tly th a n I did th e c a p ta in , an d he th a n k e d m e w ith his la s t b re a th . In th e second place, I am n o t a la u g h in g In ju n . I t h a s g o t to be a m ig h ty good jo k e to even c au se a sm ile to flicker over th is bronzed m u g of m ine. W h a t I d id fo r th e c a p ta in w as o u t of pure s y m p a th y a n d w ith th e b e st of m otives, a n d I w o u ld d o i t a g a in u n d e r lik e c irc u m stances. O ne th in g m ore. I t is c h arg ed th a t I d o n ’t lik e A m e ric a n s, a n d t h a t I a m con tin u a lly u rg in g m y yo u n g m en to w ar. T h e m a n w ho in v e n te d th a t y a rn is a lia r a n d a horse th ief! I d o te on A m ericans. T here is no race lik e th e m . I ’d sell m y s h ir t to h e lp a n y A m e ric a n w ho had fa ile d in b u si ness. A s to m y y o u n g m en, I h av e a lw ay s ad v ised th e m to h old th e ir horses a n d go slow . W hen th e y e ith e r had to fig h t o r b u s t I have a rra n g e d m a tte rs so t h a t th e y pitc h e d in to th e C hippew ay trib e . W h ite b ro th e r, I h a v e spoke. I am done. B ig I n ju n is w o u n d up. Go back to o u r w h ite d a d a t W a s h in g to n a n d te ll h im th a t P o n tia c h a s a te c ler h e a rt an d w eeping eyes a n d w a n ts a lib ra ry of S u n d a y school books, 500 copies w e ek ly o f T he S u n d a y School A d vocate a n d 1 n re e o r fo u r w h ite m en w ho a re c o m p e te n t to h o ld p ra y e r m e e tin g s a n d m a k e a n g e ls of us. THE BUI W h e a to n ARIZONA KICKER. M akes a R ad A p o lo g ise » . j L mi Or if thine be an o rchard, g raft and prop Food bearing trees, eat h w atered in it» place; Or if a garden. Iti it yield for crop Sweet herbs and herb of grace. But if my lot lie sand, where nothing grows— Nay, who has said it? Tune a thankful psalm. For. though thy desert bloom not an the rose. I t yet can rear thy palm. C hristina G. Rossetti. L e a r n W h a t A ll T h in g s M e a n . M cC O Y . O R E G -N , 3 S r . T . £ . » * r t t « « l . r r w p r l e t c r . D e a le r in d r u g s , oila, pain»», glass, paper, fa n c y go o d s, e te . rCMCMPTISNS CAREFULLY FILLED. J 1 ^ * F or \ ( ) 1 I T S U 1 V C *S Simple our knowledge is. howe'er we plod; It may be we should love w hat moat we bate. Since none have «ledum this side of the sod; And he who judges is compassionate. F or in m y dn**ty m l I found of late T he indubitable footprints of the God. SEIZEI9 W ITH A SUDDEN IM PULSE, w ith a su d d en im p u lse to d o so m e th in g fu n n y and old fashioned he o u t w ith his gun in and began b lazing aw ay a t th e St. m is m a n ’s silk hat. T h e th re e b u lle ts Lou w hich passed th ro u g h it n o t o n ly ra in e d t b s tile , h u t gave th e e d ito r such a nervous shock th a t he s ta r te d for th e n e arest tela- g ra p h pole. O f course we apologized, a n d w hen old B ill discovered w h a t had hap- ed he cam e over a n d a te g ra ss a n d k icked iself, 'out w«1 could see t h a t o u r v isito r co n tin u e d to be u p se t over th e affa ir. W s C L o oks T h a t W a y .—A je a lo u s m inded sh e e t o v e r in th e s o u th e rn p a rt of th e te rri to ry o bserves th a t “ th e e d ito r o f T h e K ick e d w ill now p robably begin to p u ll w ires fo r th e p o s tm a ste rs h ip of th e tow n. ” T h a n k you, sir, b u t w e began p u llin g w ires for t h a t p o sitio n Rix w eek s ago! I t m ay look a little c h eek y on o u r p a rt to w a n t to be e d ito r, m a y o r, s ta te s e n a to r a n d p o stm a ste r a ll a t once, b u t t h a t ’s o u r earn est desire ju s t th e sam e. W e feel th a t we have th e le n g th , d e p th an d b re a d th to hold a b o u t e ig h t p o litic a l offices a t th e sam e tim e and s till h ave tim e to sp a re to look a fte r o u r g re a t fa m ily new spaper, b u tc h e r shop, shoe sto re, grocery, feed sto re a n d harn ess shop. W e d o n ’t w a \ t th e e a rth , but, w e th in k we can ru n a good big slice of th e glo rio u s w est to e v ery b o d y ’s satisfactio n . Yes, w e w a n t th e p o stm a ste rsh ip , and th e first th in g to g re e t th e eye of th e new p o s tm a ste r gen eral a s he ta k e s possession w ill be o u r a p plicatio n . W e o u g h t to have h a d th e posi tio u u n d e r Mr. W a u a m a k e r, a s w e w ere b u y in g goods of him r ig h t a lo n g an d ad v isin g a ll P h ila d e lp h ia ch ild re n to a tte n d his S u n d a y school, b u t he g ave u s th e g ra n d flop a n d p u t in a c r itte r w hose only "re c o m m e n d ” w as a bud case of c a ta rrh a n d th e a b ility to spell C hicago w ith a c a p ita l “ S .” W e s h a ll be p o stm a ste r. I t w ill re w a rd us for o u r zeal. It w ill be a n o th e r tr ib u te to o u r m e rit. L a te r on w e m a y w a n t to be g o v e rn o r of A rizona, b u t th e re is no special need to ru s h th ings. THE H ow L illia n DIAGRAM MAN. M o n t r o s e W im S a v e d f r o m a n A w fu l F a te . “ M u st w e p a rt? ” G eorge R iv in g to n ’s voice had a s k y b lu e te n d e rn e ss in it as he m ade th e in q u iry , a n d he gasped in su ch a m a n n e r as w ould have proved to an a n a to m is t th a t his h e a r t s trin g s w ere v ib ra tin g lik e a b a rb e d w ire fence in a M o n tan a blizzard. “ W e m u s t, an d forever!” I t w as th e cold, c a lc u la tin g voice of L illia n M ontrose, th e p e tte d d a u g h te r of J u d g e M ontrose, an d th e y w ere a p p ro a ch in g h e r f a th e r’s m an sio n , according to th e fo llo w in g d ia g ra m : T hey had passed th e b lasted oak. T he m oon ro d e low in th e heavens. S o m e th in g w as th e m a tte r w ith th e e lectricity, a n d all th e s tre e t c ars had »topped ru n n in g to re st th e ir w eary wheels. “ A n d w h y th is su d d en change in you?” ask e d G eorge as he ap p lie d a pressure of th ir ty p o u n d s to th e sq u a re foot to s till his b e a tin g h eart. “ I t is n o t a su d d en change. I have been c h a n g in g fo r seventeen long a n d w eary | years. Do you re m e m b e r th e (lay you re j fused to b u y ine a kangaroo? I t w as th e 8<1 d a y of J a n u a ry , 1876, a t fo u r m in u te s p a st 3 in th e afternoon. Y ou m ay h ave for g o tte n , b u t L illia n M ontrose never forgets! Y o u r re fu sa l set m e to th in k in g . If you co u ld re fu se m e a y o u n g kangaroo, could you n o t a lso refuse m e o th e r th in g s ? ” G eorge R iv in g to n tre m b le d like th e g u ilty w re tc h h e whh , a n d a fte r a m o m e n t th e fair g irl c o n tin u e d . “ I g a v e you th e benefit of th e d o u b t on th e k a n g a ro o an d h a d a lm o s t forgiven you w h en th e 18th of J u n e , 1882, arriv ed . On B re a k , b u t T h e A m e n d e H o n o r a b l e .—W e had w ith n s a s a n honored g u e st fo r tw o d a y s la st w eek one of th e e d ito ria l staff of a S t. L ouis daily. O n S a tu rd a y , w hile we w ere show in g him th e tow r a n d w a lk in g a rm in a rm w ith him dow n A pache avenue, an in c id e n t occurred w hich m ortified u s m ore th a n we c an tell. B il' W h ea to n , th e freig h te r, cam e o u t of th e S p o tte d H orse saloon ju s t a s we w ere p a ssin g on th e opposite side, a n d seized A G oodly H e r i t a g e . My vineyard th a t is mine 1 have to keep P runing for fruit and pleasant twigs and leaves. Tend thou thy corn field; one day thou shalt reap In joy thy ripened sheaves. ^ Let whoso will call h alf th a t is unclean. And over m en's hackslldinga sit and breod; Yet I have found rich colors In the mud An»l hints of beauty in the d reariest scene. I have scant patience w ith th a t sober mood T hat from the world im petuous youth would wean. R ath er be bold, and learn w hat all things mean. Since ►cratches will but teach us hardihood. I paid lo r a new h a t, a n d Biii^pi v .iie J h im w ith an ln d iu u scalp of th e c ro p o l 1608, a nd w e k e p t b eg g in g h is p ard o n u n til he left to w n , a n d w e hope on calm reflection th a t h e w ill overlook th e little affair. W e are d o in g th e best we can to m ak e th is to w n safe fo r e a s te rn editors, b u t now an d th e n in d iv id u a l e n th u sia s m becom es so in te n se th a t it w ill slop over in sp ite of a ll we can do. t h a t d a y I p u t y o u r alleged love to a n o th e r te st, i ou escorted m e to A dam Fore- p a u g h 's m o n s te r ag g re g at ion of liv in g w on ders, a u d a s we stood before th e la rg e st ele p h a n t e v e r b ro u g h t to th is c o u n try I a sk e d y ou to buy him for me. I did not w a n t h im p a rtic u la rly had, b u t I did w a n t to g e t a n in s ig h t in to th e tru e c h a ra c te r of th e m a n I w a s to wed. H ow did th e te st r e s u lt? ” G eorge R iv in g to n g roaned in desp air, and h is c ra v en s p irit w o u ld n o t p e rm it h im to fa ll d ead a t h e r feet. “ I sh o u ld have bro k en w ith you th e n ,” c o n tin u e d L illia n a fte r look in g upon him w ith c o n te m p t, " b u t I am n a tu ra lly te n d e r h e a rte d a n d forgiving. I d e te rm in e d to give you one m o rs ch an c e to prove y ourself w o rth y o f a M ontrose T h e te s t w as m ade a n h o u r since. Y ou failed, a s before. N ow w e s e p a ra te forever, an d I te a r yo u r im age fro m m y h e a r t” ’ " B u t, L illia n , y o u ” ----- “ Sir! Do you w ish m e to rin g for th e a m b u la n c e ? ” " B u t c a n ’t I ” ----- "N o , sir! T he te s t h a s been m ade. I ask e d you w h a t you th o u g h t of a g irl w ho could k ic k a globe off a c h an d elier six feet six from th e floor, a n d you u n h e sita tin g ly replied th a t she w as no gentlem an. T h a t is one of m y chief a m u se m e n ts a t home, a n d m y fa th e r bu y s g as globes a t w holesale a n d encourages roe In th e h e a lth fu l exer cise F a re w e ll forever!” “ I d id n o t m e a n ” ----- She blew a silver w h istle to su m m o n th e police, and be fled fled Into th e d a rk an d s ile n t n ig h t w ith woe au d de sp a ir in his h e a rt, an d th e y never m e t again in life. A w eek la te r be m e t h is d e ath in a corn -ro llin g upon h is d ead face she did u o t reproach herself. She h a d dono rig h t n o t to lin k h e r fa te w ith su ch a d eep dyed horse th ie f an d p e rju re r. A n Even Th in s. I t w «s on a S u n d ay . T he m a n com ing u p th e s tre e t carrie d a silver headed cane an d w a lk ed w ith g re a t d ig nity. T he m an com ing dow n th e s tre e t displayed a heavy w atch chain across h is vest an d w ore a p lu g hat. A s th e \ m et th e y stopped a n d sta re d a t each o th e r to r a long m in u te. T h e n th e one w ith th e can e in q uired: “ S tra n g e nigger, w as yo’ lookiu f u r any body in d is to w n ? ” “ S tra n g e n ig g e r yo’self!” exclaim ed th e other. “ W h a t p la n ta sh u n does yo’ belong a t? ” “ H u!” “ Hu!” “ L ook heah, n ig g e r,” c o n tinued th e m a n w ith th e cane a s be drew him self up , "y o ' ’pears to be one of riem com m on co tto n pickers from d e bo tto m lands w h a t do&n’ know a ’s tin g u is h e d g e m ’lan w hen dey sees him . Yo’ b e tte r g it dem eyes open!” “ Does yo’ c alll y o ’self a ’s tin g u ish ed pus- son?” d e m a n d ed th e m an w ith th e w atch chain. "O f co’se 1 does! 1 w a n t yo’ to u n d e r stan d , sah , d a t I am ch' ja n ito r of de c ity hall! M ebbe y o ’ w as also a ’s tin g u ish ed pusson?” “ M ebbe 1 w as, sah! A d m it m e to c o n tre duce m yself a s de ja n ito r of de new pos»- offis b u ild iu !” “ W h at! A m d a t y o ’, M isser T a ylor?” “ O f co’he. A n yo’ am M isser Jo h n so n ? ” “ S a rtin ! W hy, w e’s been (U nacquainted ober fo’te e n y ’a rs, an y it we d id n ’t know each odder w hen w e m et! l ’ze pow erful glad to see yo’, M isser JV)huson. L e t’s fur- d e r ’stin g u is h o u rs e lf by w.-tlkin aro u n d tow n to g e th e r a n u aru ly zin com m on tra s h l” Saved by a B aby. J u s t a fte r th e la st passenger h a d g o t in to his b e rth a b ab y a b o u t a y e ar old began to cry. C erta in people a lw ay s find f a u lt w ith such th in g s , a n d it w a sn ’t ten m in u te s be fore a n in d ig n a tio n m e e tin g w as b ein g held. The fa th e r of th e c h ild w as a sm all, red headed m a n , w ith a very serio u s look on h is face. A fte r a b it be fe lt c alled u p o n to my: “ R eally, ladies a n d g e n tle m en , b u t it •uin’t be helped, a n d I hope you w o n ’t b lam e as. T h e child p ro b a b ly h as a n o th e r p re sentim ent. ” “ W h a t do you m ean by th a t? ” d em an d ed he fat, bald h ead ed m a n in low er No. 6. “ Six w eeks ago we w ere tra v e lin g in the iast. O ne n ig h t baby took on ju s t th is way. E verybody ja w ed au d kicked, b u t his c ry in g w as th e m e a n s of sav in g th e tra in in d 200 lives.’’ “ You d o n ’t say! H ow w as it? ” “ H e hud a p re sen tim en t th a t a freig h t tra in w as ru n n in g on o u r tim e , a n d th a t a collision w as im m in e n t. He began h o w ling aud suved th e tr a in .” “ H ow d id his h o w lin g save it? ” “ W hy, th e en g in e er of th e a p p ro a ch in g freig h t tra in heard h im seven m iles olT a n d ■mletraeked for us! I d o n ’t w a n t to a la rm anybody, b u t I th in k h e 's now h o w lin g fo r ,m open sw itch , a w ashed o u t c u lv e rt or a jo a l tra in , a n d for h eav en ’s sak e d o n ’t choke him off!” _________ A n A m e ric a n F a b le . HOME D ire c tio n s fo r GOOD COUNTRY ROADS, PORK. C u rin g I t M an n er. In tb s T he b est tim e to do th e b u tc h e rin g i a g en erally in D ecem ber, J a n u a ry and early in F e b ru a ry , w hen th e w e a th e r is dry an d sh a rp ly cold, b u t n o t se v .^ ely so —cold en o u g h to th o ro u g h ly coo.’ th e carcass in its th ic k e st p a rts, which w ill req u ire th irty -six h o u rs o r m ore, y e t n o th in g like h ard o r su d d en freezing sho u ld b e allo w ed , as th a t su rro u n d s th e in n er flesh w ith a w all th ro u g h w h ich th e a n im al h e a t y et in a n d a ro u n d th e bones c a n n o t read ily escape, cau sin g so u rin g an d decay in th e c e n te r o f h am s a n d sh o u ld e rs w h ile th ey m ay o u tw a rd ly a p p e a r sound. W hen fu lly cooled c u t u p as desired a n d pack w ith o r w ith o u t brine, a s liked best. If d ry sa ltin g is p referred , an ap p ro v ed recipe n am es tw en ty -fiv e p o u n d s o f sa lt, one p o und of sa ltp e te r an d th re e o r fo u r q u a r ts of m olasses (n o t glucose) o r five p o u n d s of brow n s u g a r as a good p ro p o rtio n an d pro p er q u a n tity fo r 300 o r possibly 400 pounds of pork. T h is m ix tu re , if m ad e w ith m olasses, w ill h av e m u ch th e a p pearance of w et b ro w n su g a r. R u b an d cover th e pieces th o ro u g h ly w ith it a n d lay in a cool, d ry place. Re peat th e g en ero u s sa ltin g an d ru b b in g a t th e end of th e first an d second w eeks, an d a f te r a m o n th o r six w eeks sm oke th e m eat c o n tin u o u sly fo r n o t less th a n | ten days, if th e pieces aro th ic k , w ith cobs o r h ick o ry wood p refe rab ly . A sim p ler j w ay is to p u t a lay er of m e a t fitted w ell to g eth er, rin d side dow n , on a h a lf in ch i of sa lt o n a floor, p la tfo rm o r in a box o r | cask. S p re ad i t lib e ra lly w ith th e m ix- i tu re describ ed , th en p u t o n an o th e r lay er I of m eat, a n d so on, fin ish in g w ith th e to p well covered w ith th e sa lt. If c u rin g j in b rin e o r pickle is deem ed p referab le, pack in clean , sw eet cask s w ith th e m ix- | tu r e as ab o v e d escribed an d w ith clean, cold w a te r u n til th e m e a t is w ell su b m erged. T h en keep it so by follow ers an d I w eig h ts o n top. T h is should be looked a fte r closely, fo r th e new b rin e seem s to sh rin k g re a tly , w hile th e m e a t n a tu ra lly rises to th e su rface u n less held dowm. I an d a n y p a r ts exposed to th e a ir w ill | spoil. S om etim es th e m e a t is found to be ru s tin g a n d th e b rin e lo oking vile, j T hen th e b rin e »Iioald be drawm off, b ro u g h t to a boil an d w ell sk im m ed of its im p u rities. W h en fu lly cooled r e tu rn it to th e m eat. B rine w h ich w ill n o t p ro m p tly float an egg o r a p o ta to is too weak a n d req u ires ad d itio n al salt. T he p a rtic u la r use o r m a rk e t fo r th e p ro d u ct w ill govern a s to how m u ch or w hat p a rts a re to be sm oked, used as “ d ry s a lt,” “ pickled p o rk ” o r oth erw ise. Some fa rm e rs noted for th e excellence of th e ir hog p ro d u cts n e v e r use b rin e o r pickle fo r m eats, an d o th e rs n e v e r c u re them w ith o u t. I t is u n d ersto o d , to be sure, th a t th ese m eats a re sla u g h te red , handled an d sto red in su c h a m a n n e r as to p rev en t in sects from h a v in g access to them . As sp rin g ap p ro ach es th e sm oked p a rts can be can v ased an d w h itew ash ed o r packed aw ay in b ra n , o ats, shelled corn o r d ry ashes o r h u n g in a d a rk d ry cellar or sm okehouse. F o r fam ily use a sw in g in g shelf p ro tected w ith w ire cloth, in w h ich th e m e a t is laid o r h u n g , is very co n v en ien t, as well a s secure ag ain st ra ts , m ice a n d insects. It is b est th a t p ersons n o t fa m ilia r w ith th e h a n d lin g of m e a ts sh o u ld con s u lt w ith o th ers kn o w n to b e successful in it and learn th e ir e x a c t m eth o d s in d etail, fo r w h ile th e fo reg o in g d irectio n s o u tlin e th e ch ief essen tials in c u rin g th e flesh o f th e hog th e m in o r v a ria tio n s in it are as in n u m e ra b le as th e difference in taste s a n d c ircu m stan ces.—F. D. C oburn in B reed er’s G aze tte. A B ea r w ho had been in v ited to v is it th e W olf h a d no soo n er entered th e house th a n h e b u rs t in to te a rs a n d a t ouce w ith d rew . “ W h y , m y frie n d ,” said th e W o lf as he overtook him , “ w h a t m eans th is s tra n g e conduct? H ave 1 said o r done a n y th in g to offend?” “ Oh, no, b u t th e first th in g I saw on en te rin g y o u r house w as a bearsk in ru g , and I am no t a B ru in w ho can look upon th e hide o f a deceased b ro th e r or siste r a n d con ceal m y em otion». E xcuse m e, b u t th a t p elt m ig h t h a v e even belonged to m y m o th er-in-law , a n d y ou m a y lie her m u rd e re r.” “ M y d e a r s ir,” observed th e W olf, “ yo u r e m otion does you c re d it, b u t I am obliged to inform you th a t i t h a s been w a ste d .” “ W h a t! D id m y eyes deceive m e?” “ They did. Y an k ee g e n iu s now ta k e s a c alfsk in , a couple of gloss eyes a n d a bund ful of w ooden cla w s a n d produces a b e au ti fu l b e a rsk in to sell a t $4.50 on th e in s ta ll L Iv e S to c k P o in ts . m e n t plan. F o r y o u r fu r th e r in fo rm a tio n let m e say th a t y o u r respected m o th e H n - Begin th e first of th is y ear, if you law h as long been d o in g d u ty in a m u seu m n ev er d id before, to keep fa rm an d live as a m asto d o n six te en feet hig h a n d 7,000 stock acco u n ts. In one p a rt of y o u r years o ld .” MORAL: Be su re you a n ; r ig h t a n d th e n w eep; also keep tra c k of y o u r m other-in-law . M. Q i AD. L.lfn a F ailu re. L ittle B oy — D id you ever c atch a n y w hales? Sea C a p ta in —No. N ever ship p ed on a w haler. " W a s you ever sh ip w reck ed ?” “ N o.” “ N ever cast, on a d e se rt i»le?” “ No.” “ N ever c a u g h t hy can n ib als? ” “ No.” “ N or b itte n hy serp en ts? ” “ N o.” “ H uh! yon m ig h t a s w ell s ta id on la n d .” —Good News. G e ttin g i t D o w n F lu e . Friend- W h y d o n ’t you m a rry ? G oodfello—C a n ’t. “ Y ou h sv e a fine house?” “ Y es.” “ A nd a good incom e?” “ Y es.” “ T hen w h a t’s th e m a tte r? ” “ M y h ousekeeper a n d her s e rv a n ts have form ed n unio n , an d if I m a rry o u tsid e of th e ir union th e y ’ll s trik e .” — N ew Y ork W eekly __ ____________ A ( J u lr U M in d C h a n g e r . G eorge—I should c e rta in ly have proposed to E th el la st n ig h t b u t for th e fa c t th a t «he show ed h er hand. J a c k —W h a t d id you discover? G eorge—T i n t she alre a d y w ore a n eti g a g em en t riu g .—T ru th . C o rre c te d . i'W T + M rs. O ’T oole—W h a t puzzles m e in tire!y Is th a t th e ow ld house sh o u ld la k e to sich an tx tin t w h in i t ’s covered w id inahoorance. Mr. O ’Toole—Yls, m e d a rlin t; b u t i t ’s fire inshooranoe, n o t w a te r, de y e m o in d .— h o t as mbs gazed down ^4 farm acco u n t book Bet a ll of y o u r ex p en d itu res, p ro p erly d ivided, fro m th e feed yon b uy fo r y o u r live sto ck , if an y , to th e clo th in g an d books you p u rch ase fo r y o u r fam ily . S e t d o w n ev ery ce n t you receive from an y so u rce—fa rm an d live sto ck p ro d u cts sold, etc. B alance w h a t th e food fo r y o u r stock costs you, w h e th e r you raise i t o r b u y it, a g ain st th e receip ts you g e t from th e stock. So shall you know w h e th e r y ou a re ru n n in g behind an d w h eth er som e o th e r b ran ch of stockkeeping w ill n o t pay b etter. So m uch fo r th e fa rm acc o u n t book. N ow for th e fa rm jo u rn a l. K eep a re g u la r jo u r nal of all th e ev en ts o f im p o rtan c e th a t oc c u r in y o u r business. N o te th e tim e w hen y o u r cow s, sows, ew es and m ares are b red , an d th e tim e w h en th e ir offspring is to lie looked for. M ake ca re fu l n o te of th e d a te of b irth . D ates o f sow ing an d rea p in g crops, w ith th e a m o u n t of a given cro p g a th e re d , a re o th e r th in g s th a t m ay go in to th e fa rm jo u rn a l. Be sides b eing in te re stin g read in g , su ch ac co u n t books an d jo u rn a ls w ill be of g re a t value. T h ey w ould h av e saved m an y a fa n n e r a law su it—possibly fro m bank- n ip tc y —if he had k ep t them . T h ere w as once a stin g y old h u n k s w ho used to d riv e his lam y oxen in to th e b arn ev ery C h ristm a s d ay an d give th em all th ey could e at of corn. H e th o u g h t he w«is p av in g his w ay to heaven by g iv in g th e c a ttle enough to e at once a year, b u t th a t w ou ld o nly ta k e him h a lf an inch on th e road. A m an can n o t go to heaven u n less he feeds h is fa rm an im als a ll th ey w a n t every d ay in th e year. T he H o’ste in -F rie sian c a ttle to be ex h ib ited in th e live stock d e p a rtm e n t of the C o lu m b ian exposition w ill be placed in tw o classes—b reed in g c a ttle an d fat stock c a ttle . T he b reed in g class w ill of co u rse in clu d e th e d a iry cows. T he Illin o is A u x iliary A ssociation of E x p ert Ju d g e s of S w in e m eets a t Shelby- ville Ja n . 10 to 12. A ny live stock b reed er can g et a copy of th e W o rld ’s fair official live stock em ium list by w ritin g fo r i t to Hon. J. I. B u c h an an , ch ief of th e d ep artm en t of a g ric u ltu re . W o rld ’s C olum bian expo sitio n , Chicago. T he bruncim as a horse for raising and •h ip p in g east is rap id ly disap p earin g from th e w estern ran ch . T he w ell bred hom e is ta k in g his place. “ T he flockm asters of th is c o u n try need sta n d in n o fear of o v erdoing th e m a rk e t w ith good m u tto n sheep,” says T he Lire Stock In d icato r. The Queation o f Drain ago Im portance for Stone or Dirt, E x cep t in th e vicinity of tbo _ cities iu th is v ast country, with Hi lions of a g ric u ltu rists buried m o n th s of each y ear in the obUrioa w in te r snow s a n d vernal mud, ths tr y ro ad s are a disgrace and a menace to h u m a n life. O a r present road as we term it, was never intended to a n y th in g m ore than a makeshift to the im m ed iate necessities of pionee In th e h a lf c e n tu ry covering the from 1830 to 1880 we expanded our ra ilro a d system . It seemed that a o r la te r w e sho u ld be able to hei scream of th e w histle at our a n d w e w ere p roud of the p n ise sto w ed by th e w orld on our railroads. L a tte rly we h av e been compelled to hear w ith sham e— because of the truth of assertio n —th a t o u r earth roads are very w o rst u n d e r the sun. The m u st be ap p a re n t to every man tha1 ro ad m aster sy stem fails at every \ to m eet th e necessities of our increased populatio n a n d advanced agricultural in terests. T h e w ork that is done is for th e m o st p a rt th ro w n sway from leek of kn o w led g e of th e fundamental prin ciples of road construction. In th e U n ited S tates the almost uni versal custom o f road building is direct tax atio n . A su pervisor is appointed for th e year, whose principal qualification fo r th e office is h is ability to do nothing, w h ich en titles him to about three dollars a day fo r h im self and his horse to look a fte r th e roads of his d is tric t He peD fo rm s th is d u ty by calling out his neigh bors to w ork o u t th eir tax. Usually no one am ong th em knows m uch about road b u ild in g , b u t every m an, being one of th e sovereign people w ith a vote, con stitu te« h im self an inspector of highways and req u ires a g re a t deal of tim e to com m on ira te his view s to the supervisor. As an in stan ce of lack of practical know ledge of ro ad building, which char acterizes th e o rd in ary supervisor, the follow ing e x tra c t from a letter of Mr. Selim H. P eabody, of the World’s fair lib eral a rts b u reau , to Colonel Pope is am u sin g , to say th e least: “A crossroad w as req u ired to connect a highway along a rid g e w ith th e road in the valley be lo w , fo u r m iles d istan t, passing all the w ay th ro u g h a prim itive forest The ap p ro p riatio n w as barely sufficient to bu ild o ne-half th e road, and the super v iso r w as b e n t on building the full w id th fro m th e valley half way up, stopxiing in th e m id st of th e uninhabited tim b e r—a road from somewhere to no w h ere. A n en g in eer theorist, however, su g g e sted th a t h e build a half width, ru n n in g cle a r th ro u g h , w ith the result th a t, ca llin g o u t th e m en who lived ab o v e an d w an ted to g et down, with th o se fro m below who sought to reach th e rid g e, he g o t a useful single track fro m th e rid g e to th e riv er as well as th e re p u ta tio n of being a man of supe rio r ju d g m e n t.” It is now g en erally understood that o u r ra ilw a y system h as about reached its econom ic lim it. T he iron roads have come as n e a r o u r ta rrn s as possible. We must now go to m eet them . T he real cost of tran sp o i ta tio n still rem ains in hauling o u r crops fro m th e fields to the store house and depot. W hatever we suffer fro m h igh tariffs on railroads, the chisl tro u b le is th a t as yet we have devised no m eth o d to ch eap ly h au l o u r crops out of th e fields w ith o u t large waste and weer an d delay. Our sham e is that we era d riv in g o u r horses in the Eighteenth c e n tu ry w h ile o u r steam engines nm hi th e N in eteen th . T he stu b b o rn n ess of our farmers in re sistin g a ch an g e w hich will add one-fifth to th e ir p ro d u cin g capital in the nexl h a lf c e n tu ry ca n lie overcome only when th e y see th a t th e ir losses by the present sy stem fa r exceed any saving that comas fro m w o rk in g o u t th e ir taxes. T h e go al a t w h ich we should aim an o u r u ltim a te is e ith e r the macadam or th e te lfo rd sto n e road. The cost of these does n o t m a te ria lly differ, the telford w hen w ell laid costing th e larger sum. T h e g rad in g , d rain in g and forming the ro ad b ed are of th e sam e character and re q u ire a b o u t th e sam e am ount of ma te ria l. T he telfo rd as ordinarily laid, h o w ev er, costs ab o u t twice as much t t th e m acad am . T he la tte r ia considered b y m o st en g in eers fu lly adequate to th e needs of th is co untry. It consists of a road b ed co n stru cted of stones no! to exceed in d ia m e te r an iuch and a half. T he h a rd e r th e rock need the bettsr th e road. T he thickness of the stone bed sh o u ld be tw elve o r fifteen inehm, a lth o u g h m u ch is laid b a t six inehm. T h e te lfo rd is la id o n a bottom of larger stones placed points upw ard. Macadam boasted th a t be could build permaMOdfct good roads o ver bogs, and he did it. u sin g a th ick n ess of seven inches only. In th is co u n try it is not probable so thin a lay er w ould suffice on account of the severe freezin g s in w inter breaking up th e solidity. T he average cost of good m acaduin is a b o u t $5,000 for a 80-fool ro ad an d h a lf th a t sum fo r a road of fifteen feet. T h e roads proposed by the R ich ard so n b id for New York state are to be nin e feet w ide and to cost b n t $2.000 p er m ile. F ifty dollars will keep a m ile o f good ro ad in repair for on# year. W h ile an im p o rta n t phase of theqne#» tiou is how to secu re stoue roads, another point is how to bu ild o a r d irt roads until w e can g e t rid of them . The principle o f any good roadbed, w hether of stem# o r d irt, is d rain ag e, and no road th a t i# n o t properly d rain ed can ever be #!■#- th a n an eyesore au d a waste of good m oney. It is n o t necessary th a t u sh o u ld be ro u n d ed , b u t it is im perative that t t b* uu< lord rain ed . T he plan adopted by r " id bni!del « in E urope to get a good bo. tom is to d ig d itches four feet deep on each hide and an o th er down th e tents# of th e riaid, w ith cross sections. Them if # tiled or stoned, an d the w ater is Cl aw ay by d rain s. In co n siru cttn g rem em b er t h a t unm ey spent to o l lu g a firm and d ry road lied will ■ v ast a m o u n t o f lab o r in keeping it every co m m n n ity should prid# itself to h av in g —good c o u n try roe * Hu