Polk County itemizer., September 01, 1883, Image 4

STOOFEHDTXE.
Preachers should never despair of
“ My dear,” whiiiqiorcd Mr. Spoop- usefulness aud honors, even in old
age. W oen all other resources fad
W h o O w n* ( 'h i r » | u - M r .
Smith ondyke. hobbling iuto his wife’s room the patent medicine certificate al
c c o u n t o f th e T r ic k
r n i l . u A . k A A n
• f C a lifo r n ia P uts in a C la im fo r a L arge 1 and throwing himself iuto a chair
ways stand« with a smiling face and
^ R e to r te d t o b y F r a u d u le n t C la im a n t* —
S hare O f t h e G ard en C ity .
1 with a desolate expression o f despair hid« them joyous welcome to almanac
M e n W h o S h o u ld b e H a n g e d .
on his visage. “ My dear, there is glory.
A family in Gridley, Butte county. something the matter with my foot,
Th* Washington P ost has an inter
Cal., have discovered within the last aud I can’t make out wL-tt the
Waistcoats for ladies are revived
view with a pension examiner giving
and worn under entaway jackets.
two or three weeks that they own a trouble ia.”
information as to the manner in
large part o f the land on which the
“ May lie it’s a stone bruis»,” su g­
whioh swindlers attempt to secure
There will be less loud dressing of
City o f Chicago now stands. The gested Mrs Spooyeudyke.
the hair hereafter. Bangs are going
bogus pension. He says:
story is to the effect that the father
“ That’s all you know about it,” out o f fashion.
“ There are more tricks practiced
— --------- » «•» * ------------
of Nehomia Smith, who is now a wood- grunted Mr. Spoopendyke, who was
in the procurement o f pensions than
TORNADOES.
chopper in the pine slopes of Butte, not to be put off with so small a dis
in the whole o f the other depart­
aster as a stone bruise. “ I tell . - you.
whose
name
waa
also
Smith,
settled
Scientifically Accounted for, and some Remote
ments put together,” said a Pension
at Fort Dearborn in 1H40. At that 1
}. Lf vf. Kotxome f o i b l e with my
Ceuses that Produce Painful Re­
Office examiner the other night.
, ,
‘
. foot that threatens my life, und you
sult# Explained.
tune the fort was the present site of gtaU(} around there like a cork in a
"In what direction are these most
Chicago, und was gurrisonud by a bottle, and talk about us though I
The following synopsis of a lecture delivered
ly attempted!”
Dr. Horace K. Hamilton before the New
company o f United States troops. hadn't got one leg in my coffin us fur by
“ Tae great bulk o f them aro col
York Society for tho promotion of science, con­
Shortly after he took up his residence as the hip.”
tain* so much that is timely and inqiortant
ored cases. Not that colored people
“ Are you sure it isn't a corn?” that it can be read with both interest and pro-
here. Smith purchased a quarter sec
are given to fraudulent practices,
tion, ICO acres, o f Government laud. hazarded Airs. Spoopendyke, timidly. tit:
There i* probably no subject of modern time*
It lay very near the fort, but was “ Sometimes corns hurt worso than that
but many o f them are easier victims
ha* caused ami i* causing greater atten­
anything els«1; but I D o v e r heard of tion than
inhabited
by
Indians
and
game,
and
the origin of tornadoes. Scientists
to designing lawyers, and it is less
have studied it for the benefit of humanity;
probably on account of tho former people dying o f them.’’
difficult to personate a dead negro
“ No, it isn't a corn!” howled Air. men have investigated it for the welfare of
Air. Smith did not cultivate it, but
families. It has been a vexed subject
than a dead white man. As soon as
allowed it to lie idle. He had the Spoopendyke. nursing his foot and their
long considered, and through all thin investiga­
deed to it, however, aud kept it locked | glaring
at his w ife with a mingled tion the cyclone Ins swept across the land car­
:li
a colored case comes before the office
up in an old hair trunk. Ho had a | expression o f rage and pain. “ What rying destruction to scientists as well a* to the
it is subjected to an extra amount of
wife aud four sons, and iu 1850 he | d’ye think this foot is, anyway; an innocent dwellers in its track. One thing, how­
scrutiny. A large proportion of the
is certain: the cause of the cyclone
died aud left the deed with his wife, agricultural district! When did yon ever,
must be sought far away from the whirling
colored widows drawing pensions
Two years later Airs. Smith followed ever hear of a corn that reached body of wind itself. Its results are powerful;
have remarried, and quite a large
him. Her children separated and I from the heel to the knee? W hich its cause must also be powerful. Let us there­
number of claimants are not the rel
drifted away. But there is such a ! o f your friends ever had a corn that fore consider a few facts. First, the ap|>ear-
of a cyclone is invariably preceded ’by
icts of soldiers at all, but mere dum
noble army of Smiths that it h a s ! hurt clear to the ear?” and Mr. ance
dark snot* upon the face o f the sun. These
mies put up by wicked lawyers and
been impossible to trace but oDe of Spojpeud.i ke touched his foot care spots, indicating a disturbed condition of the
others in place o f the widows who
tho four particular onoN o f that name, fully to the floor and eyed his wife 8« »lar regions, necessarily affect the atmosphere
our earth. A n unusual generation of heat
have long ago married and relin­
He is now Nehemiab Smith, the narrowly to ~ee if she noticed the of
in one part of the atmosphere is certain to
quished their claims ”
gentleman who chops wood iu the expression o f agony on his face.
cause a partial vacum in another portion. Air
“How is this fraud managed t”
pine forests of Butte county, Cal. | “ If it acts that way it must bo a must rush in to fill this vacum. Hence the
“ Easily enough; a decent time is
He, however, had two cousins, J. E. bunion!” exclaimed Mrs. Spoopen- disturbances hence the cyclone. This theory
additional confirmation in the fact that
allowed to elapse after the marriage,
Vinson, a broom-maker, and Win. j dyke triumphantly. “ All you have finds
tornadoes come during the day and not at
and the woman frightened into hon­
Bond, both of Gridley, and the former j to do is to take your boot off and put night. The dark spots upon the surface of the
“ There is a tied in the affairs of having heard rumors o f his uncle your slippers on.”
est abandonment of her claim. Then
sun, whatever they may be, t-eem to cause
another colored woman is obtained men which leads on to fortune,” re Smith’s early purchase near F o r t ! “ That's it,” yelled Air. Spoopon great commotion in the atmosphere of the
world, and it is almost certain that the ex
marked
a
young
mun
after
marrying
who makes the necessary affidavit be­
Dearborn, surmised that there might dyke hauling off his boot and tiring tremely
wet weather of the present season can
fore a convenient notary, who certi­ an heiress.
be something in it Ho therefore it across the room. “ When a man is be accounted for on precisely this basis. Is it
fies to her identity, and the rest is
instituted u search among the records dying of inflammatory rheumatism, reasonable to suppose that the marvelous ef
“ Safe blowing” is looming up as
simple, straightforward work, which business. It has always been a phase at Springfield, through an attorney, it’s a bunion! You’ ve got it! A pain feet* of the sun upon ▼agitation and life in gen
shall l»e less than upon the atmosphere it­
is frequently Dut into the hands of of human nature to indulge in V
blow- and after three yoars of what the that starts in the toe, runs to the eral
self through which its rays com e? The cause
a decent attorney to carry through in g from a safe standpoint.
article terms u gigantic undertaking, back of the neck und ties in a hard is remote, but the effect is here.
in all good faith. Where a woman is
knot over the spine is a bunion!
After describing some o f the terrible effects
A woman in Pennsylvania eloped his efforts were successful, the law­ Show me the bunion!” he continued, of the cyclone, the speaker went on to say:
about to remarry, who is likely to
yer discovering the title to 160 acres
last
week
with
the
father
of
her
hus
This
rule finds its application in nearly every
formally renounce her rights, a mem
sticking his leg out straight aud
Probably she thought she of land in the heart o f Chicago. pointing his finger at the offending department o f life. A n operator is in San
ber o f the gang will proffer his ser­ band.
Francisco—the pliak of the instrument manipu
vices to make the announcement in could g o father and not faro worse. record shows the hour, minute and root. “ Take this digit in your lily lated by his fingers in New York. The Brest
due shape, so as to leave her free to
W hen the dog gets after the boy second the land was bought and the white hand and place it tenderly on dent makes a slight stroke o f the pen in his
contract the new relation in safety. in the melon patch, and there are no price paid for it. Tho^ tract is be­ the dod gasted bunion before I die study at the W hite House, end the whole na­
tion is aroused by the act. A n uneasiness and
This is the prelude to the proceed­ trees handy, lie sings: “ Oh, for the tween Washington and Kinzie streets, und forget what killed me! l ’ ick it disgust with everything in life, commonly
ings I have spoken of. She receives garden wall.”
from Clark street to Desplainos, and out of tho surrounding anatomy I” called home-sickness, is felt b y many people,
when the cause is to bo found in the distant
a sham permit to marry from the
A young lady, who has probably among other remarkable things tho he yelled, wriggling his foot and
thousands of miles away. A n uncertain
Pension Office, with perhaps a small had leason to doubt the veracity of lawyer found was that it is occupied bouncing up and down in his chair home
pain may be felt in the head. It is repeated
extra payment that has been prom the male biped, says batches of lies and professedly owned by parties in a delirium o f rage. “ Pluck the in other parts of tho body. The appetite, de­
ised her as a result o f having the are only equaled by the lies of bacheB. who Lave no legal right to it. It bunion from its mountain fastness on ports and all energy is gone. Is the cause
necessarily to be found in the head? The next
thing done properly.”
appears that the value of the Irac the hoof of Spoopendyke and hold it day
the feeling increases. There are added
“ I don ’t see how you city folk live aggregates from $100,000,000 to $130, up to the gaze of the same!”
“ Is the law which limits the attor
symptoms. They continue and become more
ney’s fee for services in procuring a with no exercise at all,” remarked a 000,000, and it is expected that the
“ Does it hurt - 1 ” commenced Airs. aggravated. The slight pains in the head in­
crease to agonies. The nausea becomes chronic.
pension to $10 in each case ever countryman to his new boarder. “ No estato will be settled up and each of Spoopendyke, soothingly.
exercise!” exclaimed the city man; the heirs receive his inst share in
evaded I”
“ Hurt!” roared Air. Spoopendyke, The heart grows irregulary, and the breathing
uncertain. A ll these effects have a definite
“
guess
you
never
saw
a
fellow
chas­
“ They got over that very easily.
six months. The evidence is suffi­ springing from his chair and dime cause; and, after years of deep experience upon
The common way iB to have the pen in g a street car.”
cient to settle tho question of owner­ ing around the room like a flea. “ Of this subject, I do not hesitate to say that this
sioner declare before witnesses that
ship, and the only thing the heirs course it don't. It tickles! H uit! cause is to be found in some derangement of
the kidneys or liver far away from that portion
JACK TH& GIANT-KILLER-
he wishes to make his attorney a
have to do is to prove relationship. it’ s a picnic! Say, my dear, and his of the body in which these effects appear. But
present of, say, twenty per cent, in
Jack the giant killer was a young “ This,” the article states, “ they can voice was low aud tender. “ Say, tny one may say. I have no pain whatever in my
addition to the $10 allowed. This fellow about twenty inches high, who readily do, as there are several others dear, instead of going to tho country kidneys or liver. Very true. Neither have
prevents all trouble. Then again, had an almost insane passion for beside Air. Vinson’s aged father still this summer we’ll lay iu a stock of we any evidence that there is a tornado on the
many of the dishonest lawyers have slaying giants. He used to go out living who can testify from personnl bunions und wear ’em around for our surface of the sun; but it is none the less cer­
that the tornado is here, and it is none the
three, four, and sometimes five so and hunt for giants when lie wasn’t knowledge aud substantiate ihe liu health and recreation! H urt!” he tain
less certain that these great organs of the body
called firms. One will open corre more than four yoars old, and he con ­ enge of the heirs.” —[Chicago Times. 1 shrieked, breaking out in a new spot are the cause o f the trouble, although there
spondenco with a would-be pensioner, sidered it a poor day whon he didn’t
. . . . ._______ _
: “ Hurt! It feels like a band o f music! may b8 no pain in their vicinity.
I know whereof I speak, for I have passed
or one who desires his allowance in­ bag at least two o f them.
! That's what it is, a bunion! It took through
this very experience myself. Nearly
RUSKIN
S
VIEWS
ON
WOMEN.
creased.
After obtaining half the
! you to hit it! When I get time to fit tun vears ago I was the picture of health,
It got so that giants all over the
fee in advauco for necessary expeus country were afraid of him. If they
Although iu an ideal state of society you up with a full beard anil a bottle weighing more than 200 pounds, and as strong
es, a long delay ensues. Then here saw him coming they would run and tho women, says Air. Buskin, will be i of whisky I ’m going to start a dis- and healthy as any man I ever knew. When
comes a circular from another mem hide in their castles, giving orders the guiding and purifying power iu [ pensary with you! I f you'd only I felt the symptoms I have above described,
they caused me annoyance, not only by reason
ber of the ring stating that he has to tl.eir servants to say they were savage ami embryo countries, they improve your mind until you reached of their aggravating nature, but because I had
special facilities for procuring the sick in bed or not at home, if Jack are openly oppressed us beasts of the standard of intelligence of a never felt any pain before. Other doctors told
me 1 was troubled with malaria, and I treated
passage of the claim, which is repre sent in his caid.
burden, in corrupted und fallen moderate donkey you’d only need a myself
accordingly. I did not believe, how­
sented to have been hopelessly
countries more secretly and terribly. stolen corpse and a bad smell to be a ever, that malaria could show such aggravated
When the neighbors around saw
shelved. In case of a favorable re great big giant come tearing down There is n surplus of women, an np first class medical college!”
symptoms. It never occurred to me that analy
sponso the next circular in the series the road toward home, sweating and parent glut of them, but of tho useful
“ Hay, dear,” observed Airs. Spoop­ sis would help solve the trouble, as I did not
is sent to him by the third conspir­ grunting and kicking up an awful women, tlm best kind of women, the endyke, who liad been carefully ex­ presume m y difficulty was located in that por­
of the body. But I continued to grow
ator, and so on until the list is ex­ dust, they knew thnt Jack was after supply, smull to begin with, is dimin­ ploring her husband's boot; “ say, tion
wose. I had a faint sensation at the pit of my
hausted. or the pensioner's patience him.
ished by dentil aud misguidance. The , dear, I think I have found out what stomach nearly every day. I felt a great de­
gives out. As a matter o f fact there
Giants build groat towers on their experience of most thoughtful per -1 the trouble is. It isn’t a bunion, af­ sire to eat, and yet I loathed food. I was con
is no need for attorneys’ services to castles, and it was fun to see one of sons will confirm me in saying, re­ ter all. Here's a peg sticking out stantly tired and still I oould not sleep. M y
brain was unusually active, but I could not
procure pensions. Every facility is them up there sweeping the country marks Air. Rnskin, that extremely ! here about a quarter of an inch. If think
connectedly. M y existence was a living
offered by the office, and the appli­ with a telescope to see if Jack wbs good girls usually die young. Little you will have that taken out I don’t mysery. I continued in this condition for
cant has only to fill the blanks fur anywhere around, before starting out Nells and Alay Queens fly from the believe you will suffer any more.”
nearly a year; never free from pain, never for a
nappy. Such an existence is far worse
niBhed him and tell the truth in his for a morning stroll.
Air. Hpoopendyke jammed bis hat moment
smoke and stir of this din spot which
than death, for which I confess I earnestly
story of reasons for asking the
A giant’s wife could always bring men cull earth to the “ regions mild over bis eyes, shoved his feet into his longed.
bounty. He must get all this certi the old man to terms by threatening of calm and serene air.” Most per slippers, grabbed the obnoxious boot
It was while suffering thus that a friend ad
tied to in accordance with instruc to let Jack get at him, and the police sons o f affectionate temper have lost and started for the door with a with­ vised me to make a final attempt to recover my
health.
I sneered inwardly at his suggestion,
tioos, and then his case will go men on the beat -a n d by the way, their own May Queens of little NellH ering look at bis wife as he went out.
but 1 was too weak to make any resistance.
through and be acted on just us the police of that day were on the in their time, and Mr. Buskin could
“ I don’t care,” murmured Mrs. He furnished me with a remedy, simple yet
speedily as though he had hired a beat same as they are now—received “ count the like among my best loved Spoopendyke, as tho front door palatable and within two days I observe!
dozen lawyers. Of course ignoruut libernl foes, whenever they run Jack friends with a rosary o f tears.” “ A slammed vindictively; “ I don’ t care. slight change for the better. This awakened
courage. I felt that I would not die at
men sometimes fail to comprehend into the station-house.
country paying this enforced tax of If he has it taken out, he has to ad­ my
that time. I continued the use of the remedy,
the simplest instructions, and much
But Jack overdid the business at its good girls annually to heaven” mit that I was right, and if ho taking it in accordance with directions, until I
delay and trouble are caused. Hence last, as most zealots do. He happened ought at least to take good care of doesn’t it will hurt him till he dies. became not only restored to my former health
the employment of a lawyer is rather to hoar that the giants from all over the number it has left. Passing by I don’ t know which will be tlm worse and strength, but of greater vigor than I have
ea by flume who have the cases the world were going to hold a mass till Be who get put out o f the way into for him, but he will have to do one before known. This condition has continued
favorei
up to the present time, and I believe I should
to pass upon, as less labor is in­ meeting in a big circus tent down
convents, where, he thinks, they are or the other.’’—[Brooklyn Eagle.
have died as miserably as thousands o f other
volved, as a rule, in the cases pre tho bottoms, and thither he wont to always happy, or who become sick
men have died and are dying every day had it
not been for the simple yet wonderful power of
pared by professional hands.”
THINOS MONEY CAN T DO.
have a little fun. Tho terrified giants nurses and do a quantity ofg ood th at
Warner’s Safe cure, the remedy I employed.
“ Does all this exhnust the possi­ plead for mercy in vain; Jack was may be thought o f us infinite in its
The lecturer then described his means of res
Some boys and girls have ail idea
bilities o f fraud by attorneys?”
relentlosH and never stopped until own way, there is a kind o f girl “just that money can do almost anything, torution more in detail, and concluded as fol­
low's;
us
good,
but
with
a
less
strong
will,
be
had
slain
tho
whole
convention
“ By no means. Men will g o into
but this is u mistuko. Money, it is
My complete recovery has caused me to in­
a small town and, after getting tho and now ho hasn’t a solitary giant who in more or less spoilabie and true, can do a great deal, hut it can­ vestigate the subject more carefully, and I be­
mismanageable;
and
these
are
almost
to
amuse
himself
with.—|Cinciunati
signatures o f a number o f leading
not do everything.
I could name lieve I have discovered the key to most ill
sure to come to grief by the faults of
health o f our modem civilisation. I am full’
citizens, look up the war records Saturday Night.
on a thousand things it cannot buy. confident
that four-fifths o f the diseases whicl
others or merely by the general for
for that neighborhood. Among the
t was meant for good, and it is a afflict humanity might be avoided were the
si
,
tunes and chances o f tho world.” good thing to have, but all this de kidneys and liver kept in perfect condition.
latter are sure to bo found the names
o f men entitled to pensions who cheated by a second hand clothier in In illustration o f lids A'r. Buskin piends on how it is used.
I f used Were it possible to Control tho action o f the
have never applied for them. Appli­ Buffalo returned with the garment tells in liis own charming ways a wrongly, it is an injury, rather than sun, cyclones could undoubtedly be averted.
and demanded his money. When lie pathetic little story o f a sea captain's
That, howover, is one o f the things that can
cations will be made out in tlieso
a benefit
Beyond all doubt, how not bo. But I rejoice to say that it is possible
names and the signatures of tho was refused he shouted out: “ I'll daughter—“ the most beautiful girl of ever, there are many things better to control the kidneys and liver; to render their
raise a row with some of you here!
the pure English Greek type, finely
action wholly normal, and their effect upon the
necessary number of leading men of
Well, who shall it be?” “ I want lencilled dark brows, rather dark than it is, and which it cannct pur­ system that of purifiers rather than poisoners.
the place forged to the certilicate of
chase, no matter how much wo may That this end has beon accomplished largely by
to
see
the
party
who
owns
this
store!’1
lair,
and
bright
pure
color”
who,
service, etc. The rest o f the process
means of the remedy I have named I do not
So do I.” “ Where is he?” “ Dat’s after refusing many lovers, fell in have of it.
iB easier than with a genuine case.”
If a man has not a good education, have a doubt, and I feel it m y duty to make
what
I
’d
like
to
know
myself.
Yon
love
herself
with
a
youth
whom,
with
this open declaration for the enlightenment of
“ Are these men never caught and
see, my freut, my Uncle Isaac first foolish pride, she treated worse than all his money will never buy it for the profession and for the benefit of suffering
punished?”
opened his sthore, and he failed ur.d all the others, and so he lost heart, him. He can scarcely ever make tip humanity in all parts of the world.
for Lis early waste of opportunities.
“ They are quite frequently. But assignen.
Den my fudder law he
innocent frauds are sometimes even runs it und burns oudt, und shlips never told his love, and soon ador He may say, as I have heard o f men
Gutters are cheap—a big one for a scent. — _
died.
After
his
death
she
learned
saying: “ I would give nil I have if I
more severely dealt with. Two cases off to New York. Den my bruddor
I remember. One was a preacher, a Moses runs it und pays ten cents on tho truth and she never recovered had only a good education and a well
RESCUED FROM AGONIZING DEATH.
from the blow. Him wandered about
man of irreproachable character, der dollar. Den my wife goes into
trained mind;’’ but he will s-Hy it in
N k w Y o r k . Mr. .1 ames W hite, 1562 Broad­
who had been a chaplain in the peesness und makes mo agent, und wistfully for some years, and then vain. His money alone can’t obtain way.
formerly chief instructor in Dickels’ Rid
died of a rapid decline. Upon this
army, but with little knowledge o f shust when I feels dot I luti scooped
it.
ing School, in this city, said to a newspaper
the world. In his first steps to get­ her oudt o f eafery shilling, along pathetic tale Air. Buskin hangs some
Neither will wealth itself give a reporter: “ I broke my shoulder, arm and el­
curious advice as to the proper con­
man, or a woman, good manners. bow, splitting the socket in four parts. Rheii
ting a pension he consulted with comes her cousin mit a shattel mort­
duct o f love and courtship. To begin
s*t in and I employed the best physi­
former comrades and neighliors as to gage on der last old coat. I f you can
Nothing, next to good morals and niatisin
cian. He tried everything, but I grew worse,
with, he lays down the principal that
what facts they would swear to for tell me who owns dis place, I like to
good health, is of more importance and at last he said: “ I have one more thing
a girl’s proper confidant is her father,
him. Then they got the necessary g if you such a suit o f clothes ash
than easy, graceful, self possessed to try and If that fails nothing can give you re­
blanks and went ahead.
But he would make a king stuck up all not her mother. “ Wliat she is not manners.
But they can't 1» had for lief, and that is St. Jacob’s O il.’ I use.! this
inclined to tell her father should be mere mouey.
great pain-reliever, and am aide to use my arm,
found that to get his friends’ signa­ oafer.” —[ Wall Street News.
free from all rheumatic trouble. I have also
told
to
no
one,
and
in
nine
cases
out
tures to their statements would cause
A mau who is what is called “ shod- recommended the remedy to a number of peo­
of ten not thought of by herself. 1
considerable delay. To obviate this
dy,” who lias not taste and correct ple. and in every case they have been speedily
believe few fathers, however wrong­
“ Yon miserable, low-lived whelj
he simply signed the names himself
manners, will never buy them— anti effectually cured.”
----- —
and sent on the papers. The simi­ I f I ever catch you attempting to headed or hard-hearted, would fail though lie would, no doubt, like it.
I«ace mitts comiug far up on the arm, are
of
answ
wring
the
habitual
and
patient
larity of writing was detected and play any more of your sneaking
They are not to In» had in the mnrket. run through with narrow velvet ribbon.
-------- — ----------- ■ - —
—
the result was tho State Prison for games on me. I ’ll pound yon to with confidence of their child with true They are nowhere for sale.
Yon
“ GOLDEN MEDICAL DISCOVERY ”
two or three years, though the men, in an inch o f your life!” Sngh were care o f her.’ ’—| JIail Gazette.
might as well try to buy sky, er
For all scrofulous anil virulent blood-poisons,
whose names had beien forged, the burning words which the passers
cloud or sunbeams.
druggists.
promptly expressed their readiness by on Treraont street the other after­
Money cau't purchase a good con­ is specific. By A-
Ham Wei
A Western paper says:
i «#>» -
----
to sign the papers, while admitting noon heard a large and truculent dou was shot ;ln
If a poor man, or boy, or
Inst night in the rotnn science.
A
stirring
m
otion -E -m otlon .
The key
looking mun address to a meek and
that they had not done so.
girl
any
one
has
a
clear
conscience
note to success -B sharp.
da by Henry Parsons.” About the
Another case having the same Bubdued-looking one, accompanying worst place a man can lie shot, next t Imt gives off n tone like a bell when
ending was that o f a man who kept his speech with fierce and significant to his Iieart, is in the rotnnda. It in touched by a hammer, then lie snre
Rev. Mr. Greenfield, o f Knoxville, Tenn..
copies of his papers, which were af gestures. And everybody said to Tariablv proves fatal.
he is vastly richer than the million says: ltSamariian N errine cured m y eon of
terward lost in the office. He was himself, “ What has that individual
sire who does not possess such a con ­ epileptie fits.”
A lawyer was summoned a« a wit­ science.
requested to send another set, and, done that bis action should l>e de­
Good principle are better
The faekionshle .had* of pink for ¿v?n!r.g
simply enough, sent bis copies, the scribed with such warmth?” aud one- ness in a certain case. The judge, than gold. All the gold of Golconda wear Is topaz.
of which were held to bo half o f those who saw him agreed finding that the wituess was lyin; couldn't buy them for a man who
1 -fX o family dies war* ever so popular as
foi Tgenes, and he was duly convicted that be was a desjierate appearing ' adly, interrupted him. sayin|
hasn’t them already.
the Diamond Dvee. They never fail. The
ruffian, and the other half united in beg o f yon to forget your profession
an id imprisoned. So much
black is far superior to logwood. The other
truth." |
declaring him a hang dog villain. fer a moment and tell me the truth.”
and justice.”
An exchange says, “ A man at color* are brilliant.
But he was not. No, indeed; he was
True caution: “ Ma,” said Jennie Alarion, Alichigan, was driving an
neither one or the other, but the r
" Buchu-Paiha.’* Quick, complete cure, all
’arvenu at Newport, “ they said those
Well, father,” the yonng man said
ticular and most cherished friend of Smiths who have got the Jones cot old ox when he became angry and annoying kidney and urinary diseases. $1.
coming home from college,
kicked
him,
hitting
his
jaw
bone
with
the fierce man, and the latter, having tage are awful stylish and liavo got a
’here I am with the aheepekin o f a
Bonnot* of straw fringe are the present nov­
accidently met him, was telling him pedigree.” “ Got the pedigree, have such force as to break his leg.” And
graduate.” “ 1 see,” «aid the old man
we have been fairly wild ever since elty in miliinery.
the speech he had made to a third
they?” said Mrs. Parvenu, excitedly; we read the paper to know who or
grimly, “ and you're wearing it ever
who had in some way tried to over
well, yon keep away from them, for which got angry at whom or what,
That'« r ig h t”
reach him. But o f course the gen
don't want you to catch it.”
and if the ox kicked the man’s jaw
eral public did not know this, having
T o disaipated, sullen yonng scamps
When a lady li*iug in Chelsea sent with such force as to break the ox’«
only the word« alxive given,
Who lounge about the cities, this ad and naturally considered the mild
London for a doctor, she apolo leg, or how it is? Or did the man
▼ice is given: G o to the harvest man a double-dyed miscreant. Yet
ized for asking him to come such a kick the ox in the jaw bone with such
whsre they can beat it is the habit o f some men to deliver
istance. “ D on't speak o f it,” an force as to break the ox’s leg, and if
_
swered the AI. D. “ I happen
to have so, which leg? It’s one of those
themselves upon the public ways of _________________
narratives o f this sort, and very dis another patient in the neigblnirhood, things which no man can find out,
r’t epitaph sums up the agreeable it is for the person for and can thu« kill two birds with one Rave only the man who kicked or wa«
stone.”
j being kicked, as the case may be.
wife in quaint phrasa. whose benefit they are narrated.
L
FRA U D S.
ALL SOETS.
The weigh o f all flesh- Sixteen
ounces to the pound.
Paper hanging— False report« of
the executions o f criminals.
Is a jailor known by the company
he keeps?
Paris green—The chap that has
been there for a week.
“ There’s plenty o f room at the top,”
is very true o f the dudes.
A laughing “ stock” — The collar of
our great granddaddies.
W e are happy to know, dear reader,
that U will always bo in “ lnck.”
Rulers sway the people, but the
schoolmaster sways the rulers.
W aiting in vein—Blood. Suited
to convicts—Stripes. A matrimonial
city— Holyoke.
I f a man cannot cut the grass in
front o f hiB house he might as well
be no mower.
The modern martyr who suffers at
the steak is the chap who lives at the
cheap boarding house.
A new color is known by the pooti
cal name of “ bleached mouse.” We
venture that it is a sort of rat tan
color.
Barbers used to pull teeth. And
there are some barbers who would do
it yet if the teeth only grew outside,
like a beard.
“ There is a doctor in Wisconsin
named Green S. Apple.”
Appl
The only
pple must be an
core” to this Appl
ambulance corps.
What is the difference between
costumers and customers?—O U
know.
“ Hot love soon runs cold.”
That’s owing to the sighs o f it.
Last year Ht»ury Rochefort became
a familiar figure at all the race meet­
ings iu Baris. Thin year he has bold
himself almost aloof from the turf.
The inference is that ho has been
rather severely “ bitten.” It is re
lated that Rocnefort once entered a
club. His inherent taste for gam
bling led him at once to the hacca
rat table, where he played reekluB sl
and lost heavily. That was club
experience enough for him.
BEST CLOTHING
FOR
The latest importations of Paris dress.1* have
laige tourmires and hip drui*eries.
---------
♦
------
A. Charming resolvent, a matchless laxative,
an infallable nerve conqueror, is Samaritan
Nervine.
SZUXT
_______________________________ R e f e r e n c e s t
SAN
----------------------.» * < - - .
Dr. W . H. Lee, C onyers , G a ., says:
“ Brown’s Iron Bitters is a good medicine and
many are using it in this place.”
----- >«*»♦ -
HOITT’S
P acific C oast G uide and K nights T f . mii . ab
costs only 75 cents in cloth ami 50
cents iu paper covers. The map o f San Fran­
cisco is alone :worth the price. Sold by all news­
dealers and prepaid to any address, on receipt
of price, by
IR A G. H O IT T , Publisher.
606 Sacramento Street, San Francisco.
P rogram me
i e n t a k y . — For a year or more we
have been advertising for Robert S. Amman a
preparation known as “ Am m en’s Cough
Syrup,” a medicine in whose merits we firmly
believe, because we have tried it. Mr. Ani-
men believes his Syrup to be the best cough
medicine in the world, and the quantity which
he makes and disposes of annually would seem
to justify him in his belief. Amm en’s Couuh
Syrup can be obtained at any o f the drug
stores in til's city, and is gradually growing iu
favor with our citizens, as whoever uses it once
will be sure to do so again. W e also take
pleasure in recommending Mr. Amm en to the
craft everywhere as an honorable gentleman.—
[A lbany (Ur.) Herald, February 2, 1882.
• -
-—« » a - « ------
V ITA L QUESTIONS.
Ask the most eminent physician
Of any school, what is the best thing in the
world for quieting and allaying all irritation of
th* nerves and curing all forms of nervous
complaints, giving natural, childlike refresh­
ing sleep always ?
A nd they will tell you unhesitatingly
“ Some form o f Hops J”
CHAPTER I.
Ask any or all o f the most eminent physi­
cians:
“ W hat is the best ami only remedy’ that can
be relied on to cure all diseases o f tho kidneys
and urinary organs, such as Brignt’s disease,
diabetes, retention or inability to retain urine,
and all the diseases and ailments peculiar to
women” —
A nd they will tell you explicitly and emphatically
“ Buchu.”
Ask the B'xmephyBicians:
“ What is the most reliable and auret-t cure tor all liver
diseases or dyspepsia, constipation, indigestion, billlous-
ness, malarial fever, ague, etc.," and they will tell you:
“ Mandrake! or Dandelion !"
Hence, when these remedies sro combined with others
equally valuable
A nd compounded into Hop Bitters, such a
(Concluded in our n ext. )
E verybod y !
Newspapcr Union,
P almer & R ey , Prop’rs.
4 0 5 a n d 407 Saneóme 8t., San Franisco,
Cal
John
F. Snow Sc Co’s
Ctpaninff und Dyln« IMnt llahment o f Ban Km„-
I uito chsUKui their nume tu I'H la rr l . y r
”
but no ohrniKi) in ownorahip. n,H
enuao of the ohanxe 1 . that a party I,y tfie name
o f Know hue none into the earn a hu.lneea All
munniuniratloiw hereafter are to he aeut to the
' " ' “ • r ,'»,*<• « « r i i « , «.lit Market a ryot“
1 aluce H otel, Sau F rancisco.
- i l VISITINO CAKlrs, linaio! In-ar.1.30c- nana»
r»U .tamp.taken, f \ v UtCKWOOl., À la o X Î T
, AM» \01B
W ltu w lN P
fu K
AMvWATc
a
!
OUT.
By mail 25c Circulars
s O L D f ir r ,,a
cra
B k
ir
c h A C o., 38 Day St., N V
NOBODY
Don’t Die in the House. “ Rough on Ruts.”
Clears out rat.*:, mice, flies, roaches, bed-bugs.
16c.
* Ten years ago the name o f L ydia E. Pink-
ham was scarcely known outside of her native
State. To-day it is a household word all over
the Continent, and many who read the peculiar
and religious journals have become familial
with the face that shines on them with a mod­
est confidence, in which we read the truth that
“ Nothing ill can dwell in such a temple.”
CO.,
FRANCISCO
*** “ Better bear present evils than fly to
those unknown.’
Better still, line Kidney-
W ort and make your present evils Hy to parts
unknown. If you find yourself getting bilious,
head heavy, mouth foul, eyes yellow, kidneys
disordered, symptoms of piles tormenting you,
take at once a few doses of Diduey-iWort. Use
it as an advance guard either in dry or liquid
form it is efficient.
The hair is worn in a braid twisted low over
the neck and secured by a silver arrow.
&
F R A N C IS C O .
Dr. R. V . P ierce , Buffalo, N . Y . Dear
Sir: M y family hus used your ’ ‘ Favorite
Perscriptiou" aud it has done ail that is claimed
for it. It is the best of all preparations for
female complaint. I recommend it to all my
customer*.
G. S. W A I T E KM A N ,
Druggist, Baltimore, Md.
---------------
Silk stockings are embroidered in front with
colored steel beads aud silk chenille.
For a cough or cold there is no remedy
equal to Am m ons cough syrup.
BOYS
C. C. H A S T IN G S
A n inside waist of the same shade should al­
ways be worn under every Jersey.
----------»• .
‘ BEST OF ALL.”
Heart affections, kidney and liver troubles
affect nearly one-half of all mankind.
Yet
how many heedlessly pass through a shortened
life giving no care to these complaints which
cause the human family such distress. Does
your heart beat violently from the least excite­
ment? Have you fits of dizziness? Does your
back ache?
Are your bowels constipated?
These symptoms are the first warnings. Delay
is dangerous. Be wise in time. Regain per­
fect health by using Brown’s Iron Bitters.
AND
---------- A T -----------
The delinquent tenant revels iu
ower’ental splendor.
W ells’ “ Rough on Corns.” 15c. Ask fur
it. Complete, permanent cure. Corns, warts,
bunions.
M EN
/
J k y - . Q ¿ P 'S /
L Y D IA
E-. P I N K H A M ’ S
VEGETABLE COMPOUND.
A Hure Cure fa r a ll U M IA L E > . t.A K -
NESSES» In clu din g Ireiicor?L*ea, Ir­
re g u la r ami Painful ¿Hetdiruaiion,
Inflam m ation and U lceration o f
tho W om b, F looding, 1*1(0«
LAPSU S U T E R I, A c.
HTTlensant to the taste, efficacious and iramodlata
In its effect. It la a great help iu pregnancy, and re­
lieve* pain during labor and at regular periods.
PHYSICIANS USE IT AMD PRESCRIBE IT FREELY.
n r -F o B a ? x W baknkssks o f the generative organs
o f either sex, It Is second to no remedy that has cvi r
been before th e public; and fo r all diseases o f the
K idneys It Is the Greatest Rem edy in the World,
H T K IIIX E Y
C O M P L A IN T « o f
CAN
DENY.
('«insinuer* can depend upon N E W EN(
L A -, N
D B
A K .......;
IN G V
i —
.......
............
• • O ' ' W
o x D
/ i E
. t R
k us being ex-
i act y as represented, it is Cream
of Tartar
a
I and l»i-( arbonate of Soda of tierfect purity
scientifically combined ; NOTICING Ê l JÎÎ
r i m 8J !
-NE.W E N U L A N D 11AK-
ING lO N Y D h h justifies the me of the very
best,materials. ( ’onsumors pay a fair price for
the best and get it.
It is «elf evident that Baking Powders rep-
reseuted to be composed of the *ame materials
“ to* N K W ENG I «AN D, and which are
soul to dealers at less then the puro materials
themselves are worth, cannot bo pure.
The large demand for N E W E N G L A N D
B A K IN G P O W D E ll, and consequent ftdling
«»ft ill tho sales of adulterated aud inferior |>ow-
ders, hits developed a spitefulness on the part
of some manufacturers and «l«;alors. Finding
that the quality «if the N E W E N G L A N D
cannot be successfully attacked, new brands
and close imitations, represented to beaag«>od,
are put on the market. W ith these they en­
deavor t«i tempt dealers with low prices, ami
thus impose on consumers.
See that tho name N E W T O N B R O S - Sc
C O . is on every can.
E ith e r S e x
1 f a d ( « r e n t R e l i e f in l i e U s e .
dOJfc, jt-U H E IM ,
L Y D IA E . P IN K M A M ’S BLO O D P U R IT IE U
will eradicate evory vestige o ' Humors from the
Blood, at the same tim.- will give tone and strength to
the system . As marvellous In residts as the Compound.
t y B o t h the Compound and Blood Purifier arc pre­
pared at 233 a?id 235 W estern Avenue, Lynn, Mass.
Price o f either, $1. Bix bottles for $5. The Compound
is sent by mail in the form of pills, or o f lozenges, on
receipt o f price, j$l por box for either. Mrs. Finkhara
freely answers all letters o f Inquiry. Enclose 3 cent
stamp. Bend fo r n&mphler. Mention th la Paper.
FifiinriMrc
in The State.
nrlcrtO K E . PINKHAM’ i . t v e r P / ltb cure Ccnstip*
tion. Biliousness and Torpidity o f tho Liv r. £5 sent»»
IS p g sld by a il DrnggUtet
Turns
PILLS
Business Suits tu Order from • . . $20 00
Pnnts
“
“
“
• . . .
5 00
Fine Dress Suits
“
• 40 00
Pr nut Attention, Honest Dealing and a
Perfect Fit Guaranteed or no sale.
Uul«'s f«»r self-measurenMpt, and Samples of
Cloth Sent Free t<Tany address,
on application.
724 Market & 203 Montgomery St.
SAN F R A N C I S C O . C A L .
SYM P TO M S O F A
TORPID LIVER.
L ose o f A ppetite. B o w e ls costiv e, Pain in
the B e a d , w t i a d u ll sensation in the
back psvt- i
i u n d e r th3 S hould er
blad e, full: .
;to r ea tin g, w ith a disin­
clination • .> r •; n o n o f b o d y o r m ind,
Irrita b ility o ; t.m iper, L o w spirits, w ith
a fe e lin g o f i ving n e g le cte d som e d uty,
W earin ess, D izziness, F lu tterin g at the
H eart, D ots b efore th e eyes, Y e llo w Skin,
H e cd n ch e gen erally o v e r th e rig h t eye,
R estlessness, w ith fitfu l dream s, highly
c o lo r e d U rine, an d
CONSTIPATION,
TITTT’S PILLS a ro esp ecia lly ad ap ted to
such ca ses, on e d ose ©fleets such a ch an ge
o! fe e lin g as to a ston ish th e suflerer.
T h e y I n c r e a s e t h e A p p e t i t e , anil cause the
body to T a k e o j i F l e s h , th u s th e sy stem is
n o u r i a h e d . an d b y th eir T o n i c A c t i o n on tho
fligeflU vo Organ*. E r g n ls r S tool* are pro­
duced. Price ‘25 cents, as M u rray fct., N. ¥.
T H
E
Mu A. RocblingsSons Co.,
MANUFACTURERS OF
Iron and Steel Wire Rope
And W IRE of Every Description.
Agents ' r New Jersey W ire Cloth Company, aud for
tho Buck Thorn Barbed F*;nce.
11 I H i H I l t S T K K K T , S A N F R A N C I S C O
W
OODEN
O
M ANTELO
R
.
I I E H H I K T G ,
Manufacturer of
ttltrs HJUR DYE,
Fins Furniture, House, Bank and OlBce Fittings.
(
^
CJ u a y H a i r o r W n T S K F R s changed to a ( f l o s s y
B l a c k by a single application o f this D y e . H im -
n-.rts a natural color, acts In sta n ta n eo u sly ' Sold
by D ruggists, or s e n t by express on receipt o f ¿1.
O F F I C E , 3 5 J f ! F R A Y S T ., \ E W Y O R K .
Hr. T r r r s Mi ir A L «*r YalsnW.* I-.rnrm*lton and \
U*«ful I'Cctf.'t* will be Railed ¿KLE oa a^^iicatiuu.y
FOR THE I cRMANEMT CURE CF
CONSTIPATION.
ITo o t h e r d i i o eo prevalent til this eoun-
tr y as Co-iatlt -on, e n d no rem ed y lias ever I
equalled th o celebrated K I D N Z Y -W C U T as a '
cure. W h a te v e r the cause, h o w ev e r obstinate J
the ooso, this rom edy w ill overcom e it.
i
£2» 3 I p'.' C*
T H I S distressing com plaint
■ ®
¡ 3 v e ry a p t to bo com plicated
w ith combination. K id n e y -W o r t strengthens
th e weakened parts an d qui ;*kly ctr e s a ll kin d s
o f Piles ev en v ix e n p hysicians e n d m edicines
h a ve before failed.
R H E U M A TIS M . ££££
D B R F U L C U R B , as i t is for A L L th e painful
diseases o f th e K i d n e y s , L iv e r a n d B o w c l a .
I t cleanses tho system o f th e aorid poison the*
can es tho drendful suffering w h ich o n ly tho
victim s o f rheumatism can realize.
THOUSANDS OF C A 3F 3
o rth o worst fo rms o f this terrible dir-ease Iravo
been qu ic k ly relieved, an d in a short tlmo
4 ‘.'!la ii< l -íííl I o i U T IS S t . , S a n F r a n c i s c o .
X IT D E H IG N 8 F U R N IS H E D
TEAS!
¿ fc X &
t
3 P -A .H N T -
CURES
Rheumatism, Neuralgia, Sciatica,
n r i t Acts at th e tam o tiT.e cn the KID ITB YS,
LIVBR AND BOWET:3.. a ;.: i .................
Lumbago, Backache. Headache, Toothache.
l o r s T h r o s l . S w H l I n f i . M p r n l n « . Itr iil* « * * .
B u r n s . S e s l d t , F r o s t H ite s,
AXn ALL OTIlKn BODILY PUSS AND AMI KM.
$1. LlQI i n .r nuv.
T’
WELLS, RICH A!* i-.hv. •
1
d
The best judges of Fine Tea invariably ordei
of the above celebrated brands, whioh foi
nearly thirty vears have stood at the top el
the market. M A C O N D R A Y ft CO., wheer
importati i..< embrace every variety, call at­
tention t o the excellence of their uncoloree
Japan Tea. Formosa, Oolong and English
Breakfast Tea s, which are full weight, pure
**nd who’os: me.
EDUCATIONAL.
1SS3. T h e N F .W C A L E N D A R o f t h e 1834
Ä Ä
- N F.W KNliLA XU
CONSERVATORY o f MUSIC
RestiiIfnl’ jr IHifetrated.M paces. R E N T F R E E to
yourscLf and luus <’jtl irli nils. Sen ! unmet ami addresses
t0
_
L. TOLitJEE, Frsnfci'n Pq . Boston. Mnss.
The I.araeat and best a p p oin ts Rutin. Literary and
Art School, a,id I f Ü2H E / ‘>r yotuiy ladies in the world.
m A IIAO
3
N’ ’' - 1 ■■
I A la I I n
at half price.
sell Pian.
3 R flllU U
baili I’iaif>«
Pianos $75 and up. Antl-
- ’.:«» Klli* At H F
.
PERFECTLY CURED.
I T l t c lc o n w * , Strengthen s and g iv e * N e w
L ife to a ll tho im portant organs o f tho b od y.
The natural action o f tho K id n ey s is restored.
T h e L iv er is cleansed c f a ll dir-cnee, and the
Bow els m o v e free ly * n d hoaldifully.
c o m et
V —
TEASi < S >
)
HARDWOOD
LUMBER
C A U I X J -V r I I O O I I N a m t Y K .V KF.HW .
BhipTimb«r. Locust Treenails, Deck Plugs, etc.
129-147 Spear St. and 26-28 Howard St.
tfnn Frruicinco, aud 15« State 8t., Bo.ton Mai-»
J o « » W io m o r z , Horton
A . A . W in « O m . S. P
Bold by D ru ffla t* and Dealer* e v er?w h rro. F ifty Cent* a bottle.
D lroctlou* in II I.U |U *|N .
THE f II ARLES A. AOGELKR CO.
Waimi i to A. VOOKI.su A 00.)
Hor-telter’s Stomach
Ritters, hy incrcasii.#
vital power, and rend
e r i n g the physical
functions regular anti
active, keeps the sys­
tem in good working
order, .and protect* it
against disease. For
constipation, dyspep­
sia, aud liver c
&
P.
Baltlaore, *•!., C. *. *
plaint,
imttou - u k m .
kidney sr d rheumatic
ailments, it is inva.u
able, and it affords a
sure defence against
male rial fevers, be­
sides removing a l l
traces of such <luw
from the system For
sale hy ail druggists
and dealers generally.
I T T E R S
A t
$ 9
( P O Í H -r
at home. Samples worth <6 free
b 0 î p Z U Address M tisw ow A r»- I . r im . 1 Maine
P
r i c e
$ 3 . 0 0 .
TEIENNIALCONCLAVE BADGE
Adopted by the Triennial Committee and Triennial
Union.
F.
C. S A N D E R ,
Attorney and Counselor at Law,
*07 SANSOME ST.. SAN FRANCISCO. CAL
I'metiers in all .State and Federal Coartai Collec­
tions, Probat« and Real Estate matter* given special
attention.
©70 a WhKH.
© I L outfitf
H h
^
IJ
a day at home
•* » T
SlnJabeckitf’s Tailors’ Square.
A Perfect system of Dress Cutting, fla mplc, F.ioct
*cd adapted to every description of Garmeuta
Pat­
terns cut to fit without alteration
Received Dip­
loma at Mechanics
Fato,
office a 234
Rt.
«-V-» ■
a u . 188?
100. .
"-IUUC
n .J Stockton
w -C A W u r-'..
an Francisco, S
3 —
—
**—
-
—
-----------
-----
T F D A W K I R * LO U D O N , Prop*.
•tend for circular
UNFA1L.NO
ARD W F A I .H U «
Tir.* P.ELT or Urfrcnera-
p ihbiit
a, p r m lr for
t " r i ■»
martr t - x
f tie cure ofdi-m njrr menta
IN CURINO
E p i l e p t i e Fits,
| Spasms, Falling
Sickuess, Convul­
D a n c e , Alcoholism,
sions, 8 t . V i t u s
Opium Eating,
Scrofula,
and all
Nervous and Blood Diseases.
H T T o c lergymen, U v n n , Literary Men,
Merchants, Bankers, Ladies and all whose
sedentary employment causes Nervous Pros­
tration, Irregularities o f the Dlood, stomach,
bowels or Kidneys, or who require a nerve
tonic, appetizer or stimulant, Samaritan .Very
I y inane. Costly
NiiL'Mdta. Maine
Viral S o n w i, N o . «0
s û k T ric
t.A
F ~ fi
2
n íc tj
ssltk bí
1 it y r<
vwl __T. hí