PROFESSIONAL CASUS.
J. N. SM ITH. M. D.,
PHYSICIAN AND 8 U E 0 B 0 N
NEW PRICES. NEW GOODS.
Do yon know you have naked for this price
less thiiitf
As a child might have asked for a toy—
Demanding what others have died to win
With the reckless dash o
boy?
Dallas, Oregon.
0 1 « on Mill S t , North M Court B oum
The Largest Stock and Cheapest
Goods ! !
DR. W. H R U B E L L ,
D E N T I S T ,
You have written my lesson of duty out—
Manlike you have questioned me;
Now stand at the bar of my woman’s soul
Until I have questioned thee.
Dallas, Oregon.
A
I am fair and young, but the rose will fade
From my soft young cheek one day;
Will you love me then ’mid the falling leaves,
As you did ’ mid the bloom of May?
LL WORK DONK IN F U S T -G L A U ST Y L E
O lio# on® door aurth ®f J D. L®® a Whito
' Brick
JOH N T D A L Y
N L BUTLER
D A LY & B U T L E R ,
F or
P eople
the
of
P o l k C o u n t y !
Is your heart an ocean so strong and doei>
I may launch my all on its tide?
A loving woman finds heaven or hell
On the day she is made a bride.
A T T O R N E Y S A T LAW ,
M L L PRO M PTLY AT T EN D TO A L I. LE G A L
huamees entrusted t® them
Odio® ob Mill 8t
•ppoclto Court House, Deilas
W '
I take pleasure in annouusiag to the publio that uiy
E. J. DAW NE,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
and Notary P u p llc -
^ F E C I A L ATTENTIO N G IVEN jTO COLLECTING
. I had loaning money. Always prepared to loan from
$1M te I3.M0 on personal or rsal astate security Ofllee
in Griswold's building, opposite the bank, Salem, Ore-
SPRING
STOCK !
Is now open and ready for inspection
«•»
J. H. TOW NSEND,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
Tn
M!y
In d e p e n d e n c e
S to r e
Dallas, Oregon.
IT1C1I ON M A IN STREET. OPPOSITE
On” -«i House. Collections ma.’.e a specialty.
0
e T b . s k i p w o r t h
THE
You will find the FIN E ST GOODS and the L A R G E S T ASSORTM ENT of
,
GENERAL MERCHANDISE
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
-A N D -
K e p t on the Went Side of the Willamette, outside o f Portland.
Notary Publ'o,
Albany, Oregon,
P RACTICE IN A LL THE COURTS IN THE
U r ILL
•tate. All business sntrusted to him promptly at-
»•ndsd to
OfBc* lu O'Toole's Block, Broad Albln 8t.,
M L Ptuee
Dalli
Qes. W . Balt,
Iaclspan-lance
BELT
My
& PIPES.
ATTORNEYS
AT
P.
LAW,
T n
m
y
P e r r y d a l e
DALLAS, OREGON.
GENERAL M ERCHANDISE
P r o m it ! A tt e n t io n P a id t o B u e lu r t s .
Suitable for the Country Trade.
O r r ic * -O n Main Street, two doors north o f Tustoffloe
You will also find a L IN E of
Millinery of the Latest Styles!
DR. J. B. JOHNSON,
o u t l s t -
Haring returned to Indepeudence
to permanently locate, is prepared to
da all kinds of dental work. Filling
and treating a specialty.
Office in vanduyn & Smith's new
brick, up stairs.-
TITJTTT.
Produce taken in Exchange for Goods at Market rates.
U. A. JO H
Give me a call before purchasing elsewhere, and SEE MY GOODS
T R U IT T &. JOHNS,
and G E T T H E P R IC E S !!
Attorneys-at-LaTT,
EZRA
D ALLA S, OREGON.
FFIOB ON
House.
0
s t o r e
Yon will find a CO M PLE TE ASSORTM ENT of
SULLIVAN,
Attorney at Law,
X D
Department
Is complete in every reepect and in the hands of u oompeteut Milliner.
£W~ W ill practice in all the Courts
ef the State. Office up stairs in
Court House.
OHAS.
Millinery
M ILL STREET, NORTH O FOOU R
hUffltS
DR. I.
T.
ALL I ASK
MASON,
R E S ID E N T
PO PPLETO N.
D E N T IS T .
Dallas, Oregon.
Is that you do yourself justice by buying goods where you can get them the
cheapest.
(Late o f Eugene City and Sheridan.)
Nltro Oxide or Laughing Gan administered.
*■ stairs over H. ’ Butler's store.
D a l l a s , Nov. 17, 1882.
Ofllee
A E. SCOTT, M. D.,
Physician and Surgeon,
Latoof Oakland, Cal., has permanent! j
located in
I know it is the practice among a great many merchants to sell a few
leading articles at cost, but they must make it up on somethiag else.
I
intend to strictly adhere to very LO W PRIC EP in everything I offer for
sale, and in
&
DRESS
FANCY GOODS,
DALLAS, OREGON.
Will be found
Drag Store.
at
CLOTHING
all times at B. M. Smith’s
Z. T. DODSON, M. D„
PHYSICIAN,
SURCEON.
A N D -
OBSTETRICIAN.
Hasbermanently located in Dallas, Oregon.
Ofllee in Hyde's drug store.
noylltf.
W
Furnishing Goods, Etc., Etc.
H HOLMES.
at Law, There is no doubt, or question but I shall sell them very much lower than
the same goods have ever been offered in this market.
S a le m , O reg on -
Please to call and price the goods and you will see that I am
in earnest
jo h n M c D o w e l l
Attorney and
“7
Counselor
M. M. E L L IS ,
Real Estate Agent,
S u c c e sso r to W . C . B r o w n ,
I) 1I.LAS, OREOON.
D A LLA S , OREGON. MARCH 8.1883
P
A R T IE S D ESIRIN G TO B U T OR SELL REA L
estate, will do well to consult me. Office two deors
west o f Jap R. Miller’s drug store.
BURNS
J. L. C O L L I N S ,
Attorney and Counselor at Law
*
M O B R IB O N ,
LIVERY AND SALE STABLE.
D a lle s ,
SOLICITOR IN CHANCERY.
• reR A «.
H. I. LINES & LAWRENCE,
M AM CrACTLRIRS AND D 1 A L 1 M IN
rrR xrrrB R »
s p b ix c
* b i d ».
And a ll kinds of
AS B IE N IN P RACTICE OF HIS PROFESSION
la this place for abeut tweaty-five years, and will
attead to all business
O S s t e p p o s i te ths Dallas Hotel, censer e f Mein and
swrt sveet. Dalles, Polk Coaaty. Oregon
H O BB ES. C A R H IA O E 8 A N D L 1 V K B Y
H
WILSON ft BAY.
At
U .
M ost
R
a a m b a
U
C o l t . y .A C . o f « « m m .r e l A l m e
B eta s !
a
a
ip A -n L ltf.
BURNS A MOBRIBON, Prop'rA.
Drap, Patent
.
^
S T A T IO N E R Y ,
TRE
B ELT
HOUSE !
P E T E R C O O K . ................................... Pmeraiarua.
Perfumery, Fancy and Toilet Articles.
O r f f .n .
CIOABS AND TOBACCOS.
P ERK Y D ALE. OEEOON
T
ROW ELL & SON,
B la ck s m ith s ,
H o rs «
» changed hands an o
will b® rua M • trat elea# I heus® In BV®ry ra®p®®*
he belt
ha
DALLAS CITY MILLS,
DALLAS, ORE BON,
WILSON & HOLMAN, PROPRIETORS.
D ALLAS,
O R E G O N ,,
A RE NOW HEAD Y TO DO A L L K IND S O f
A
Bleoksraith work in their line o f business in the
beet style end on the lire end let live plea. You will
ta d them at their shop whenevsr work is wanted, day
e r a g h t Oar shoe is at the Elk hero sign, one door
south of Burns A Morrison's lirsrj stablu
W s thank you for yotir custom in the rest end hope
yea will eonttane the seme in the fntoee. W e ere
yours truly,
R O W E L L » BON
Dai lee. November 34, 1883
w
Giva us a call
WILSON A HOLMAN
D a l l a s . O regon, J a n 5. 1883
LOAN I
One to Ten Thousand Dollar*.
Tim® fcFrom on® to tv® year®;
D a l l a s O m in o »
« ILL A i n S D TO BIS HL W.1 ERM IS
pA r, off lA o # o m n ,f p r o m p t l y ,
Promptly and ia a aatitfactor? manner
W® have mon«® to loan «
And County Surreyor.
am ,
C ris t and C u s to m W ork
M ONEY T C
P. WRIGHT.
A U C T IO N EER
W
H avin g purchased th® above m ill«, w® are now pr®!
pared to d o all kind® o f
m
*0 l i
Truitt
iifwt ik im
A*
Tana®
Johns.
Bai
I reuuire all things that are good aud t.roi
All things that a man should be;
If you give this all, I would stake my life
To be all you demand o f me.
A
RÏM ARKABLK
PARROT
While walking past u pleasant cot
tage at Ocean Grove one day last
August, I heard a voice calling,
“ Good-morning!”
I paused a moment to see who
it could be who had spoken, and
heard the salutation repeated, with f
name udded, “ Good morning! good
morning! Polly wants a cracker!’’
Looking up. I discovered a parrot
in a cage suspended from a tree, the
foliago of which nearly concealed the
bird. Whenever I passed the place
after that Polly greeted me with
“ Good-m orning!’’ and if I returned
the salutation she would laugh.
Some years ago I saw a number of
cageB with birds in them exposed for
sale in a bird store. A bright little
parrot was swinging in her cage at
the door, and as I looked up, she
said, “ Do you want to buy a bird?
Take me! take me!”
I found that Polly repeated this
question to every person who, in
passing, manifested any interest in
the contents of the cages. Many
times the bird was sold, the cage
taken in, the bird removed and placed
in a traveling cage nud handed to the
purchaser; but no sooner had ho disap
peared than another parrot was hung
out that began to talk in the same
manner.
At last the trick was discovered und
exposed. The salesman had many
parrots which closely resembled this
one in size and color. He had taught
one of them to talk, and the words
uttered were all tho bird could say.
By deceiving bis customers be sold
them the other birds, and retained the
one that could talk to help bim iu his
sales.
The most remarkable parrot I ever
knew was a beautiful green macaw,
brought from Brazil. It could talk
both Spanish aud English, and sing
songs in both languages. I often
heard it sing "Yunkeo Doodle” and a
part of “ Star Spangled Banner.”
The latter tune soernod too long
and too complicated for it to remew
ber. It would sing about three lines
and then branch off into a medley,
which consisted o f talking, singing
and laughing all together.
The parrot was owned by the next-
door neighbor, and swinging in the
cage on the porch opposite my win
dow for months iu tho pleasant
weather, I had a rare opportunity of
listening to it anil observing it. It
not only imitated sounds, but soemod
to really understand the meaning of
much that it said.
I remember tue first time I entered
the house, us I was going up the
steps leading to the entrance, Polly
called out, “ Mother, Mrs. Clark is com
ing!’’ I was astonished and amused
beyond measure. My friend met me
at the door. Laughing heartily, she
said, “Ah, Polly 1 you are mistaken
this time. It is not Mrs. Clark.
"Polly always calls me. mother,”
she said. “ I suppose it is because
she hears the children, and she imi
tates them in everything possible. I
have a friend,” sho added, “ who visits
me often. Her name is Clark. She
dresses in mourning, and as you are
dressed in black, and Polly Las novor
seen you before, she thinks yen are
Mrs. Clark.”
Some months after this the lament
ed P. P. Bliss, the sweet singer and
author of so many of our beauti
ful hymns, who was killed at
the Ashtabula disaster, was with his
wife at our home. We were prepar
ing for a concert. In the evening
many of the vocalists came to our
house for a rehersal.
My friend had asked me to bring
the singers, tho next time they met,
to try Tier elegant piano. As she
lived so near we went over.
The servant answered the bell and
opened the door. As the company
entered, Polly cried out- “ Bridget,
kindle a fire in the hack parlor!
Bridget, a fire in the back jxir/or! A
UPHOLSTERED WORK. ALBUM PICTURE FRAMES.
WALL BRACKETS. AND WINDOW SHADES.
PIBE IN THE BACK PARLOR!”
A laugh went round in which Pol
ly joined. Polly’s mistress, laughing
heartily,
exclamed, “ Well, well, Polly!
JE KE EP A COMPLETE STOCK IN OUR LINE
and will call a® elr.aap a® Ut® Baia® goodB can b® I am astonished!”
W
go ia Portland D « net taka our w®rd ®r ®thar p®®pla®
Turning to us, she said, “ I am sur
w®rd for It, but eom® and bm our «*®4s and learn oar
pris®®
prised! I never heard Polly use those
A l l k in d ® o f W o r k in o u t 1 1 a « d o m «
words before. We only have fire in
o > A b o rt M otto«.
the back parlor when we have a large
company, and Polly evidently thinks
We aio® keep • ¡arg® and wall B®l®«tod «lo ck ®f
we need one this evening.”
Oaaketa and Oases on hand,
But the funniest thing o f all w a s ,
as soon as the singing began, Polly
W bl«b we will furnish a* R®du«®d Prioes
joined in, and s a D g so boisterously
asrootn on M A IN STREET, tws door® north of
that we could not proceed until the
Vaaduyo A Start».
cage was carried out. Mr Biiss was
I S D E P E R D n C E . O R E I .O V
greatly amused, and asked if he could
engage her to perform at the concert.
Polly had learned to imitate the
voice of each of the children so per
fectly that even the parents were
often deceived.
Sometimes she
would cry out as if some fearful ac
cident had happened, and tho mother
o r some other member o f the family
wonld come running almost breath
lessly, only to find it one of Polly's
tricks.
The youngest child, a beautiful
golden haired boy, less than three
years of age, had long ringlets. The
nurse was not always as gentle in
H E A D -S T O N E S ,
combing them as she might have
been, and the little one wonld become
Executed tn Italian and American
igry, throw itself upon ttle floor
id cry. I have seen Polly lie down
Marble.
npon the bottom o f her cage, kick
ing. flapping her wings, sobbing and
AIA» « « , W M » -< O e M , u 4 » « e « (M M f u i
crying and saying over and over
O m i«, » w
» . t m é « A m i t» A»rt»l M A f m -
again: “ I don't want my hair combed.
■ m e w m u t o s m m a va . o e v *
*—
WM. 8TAIGER,
Monuments, Tablets
It pullar
Sometimes amid her sobs she would
y, “ I don’t want to go to schoolP’
When the cage was nung so that
she could overlook the dining-table,
she would often ask for favorite dish
es as they were brought in. At one
meal I was seated with the family
wbon some custard was placed be
fore us.
Polly immediately said,
“ Mother, I want some custard!”
She was always encouraged to
talk by having all her requests grant
ed. if it was possible to grant them.
She would call the poultry, “Come
quick! chick! chick!” and the hens
and geese would come running to
got their food.
Nearly every day she calls the dog,
“ Carlo! Carlo! Carlo! Here! here!
here!”
Then she would whistle, and tue
the
dog would run to the door, ex
_
ixpecting
to find his meal in readiness for him.
When he discovered that it was only
Polly, he wronld stand upon hia bind
feet, and, looking up at the bird,
howl with vexation.
Often during the warm weather
Poll was allowed to come out of the
cage. Holding the branches with her
bill, she would pull herself up, until
she nearly reached the top of the
highest trees in the garden. She
could not come down again without
aid, and for this purpose a long pole
with a cross-bar at the top was used.
If, when hold up, this pole reached
her, she would quietly get upon it.
and allow herself to be lowered to the
ground; but if it lacked a few inches
of reaching her, she would laugh
most heartily, “ Ha! ha! ha! Ha! ha!
ha! until all within the sound of her
voice were irresislibly compelled to
jr.n in the merriment.
Then, as if stopping to take breath,
she would exclaim, “ Oh dear! Yon
will kill mo! I shall die a-laughing
One day Polly was laughing at a j
unusual rate, and 1 called my ser
vant girl to the door to hear her. The
girl had been with me but a day or
two.
Opening her eyes to their
widest extent, and raising her hands
in amazement, she said:—
“ Indeed, mum, that’s no burd at all
a talking that way!”
“ Why not, Bridget?”
“ An’ shure, it’s the evil spirit in
the burd that does be talking!”
‘Oh no, Bridget: she does not say
anything bad.”
“Och! not whin he makes fun of a
body that way? If I had the kape
ing of him, shure I ’d bate him on the
head wid a broom and stop his
laughing!”
Polly had many friends, particular
ly children, who loved to hear her
talk, and were anxiouB to pet her and
to share any delicacy with her which
she could enjov. And when I left
tho town I tLink I missed Polly
quite as much sr any individual
whom I left behind me.
SMOKING
FOR
TW ELVE
HOURS.
I’ll bet money I . can do it,” was
the remark made by a brawny Soot a
few days ago to a crowd of men rep
resenting nearly all nationalities.
The men wero standing in a saloon
conversing on the recent pipe smok
ing match in S t Louis. The result
of the talk was a match being made
for $25 a side. The contestants are
John Anderson 'and Philip Cunif, a
native of the Emerald Isle. A room
on Blue Island avenue was select
ed, and 10
o'clock tho
hour
The men were to smoke twelve
hours, the* one scoring the greatest
number of refills when time was
called to be declared the winner.
William Johnson was chosen referee,
and promptly at the appointed hour
the singular match begun. Ander
son selected a light colored cut-plug
tobacco and a French clay pipe;
Cunif chose a medium dark, long-cut
leaf tobacco and a common clay pipe.
Both pipes held about 36 grains.
Anderson bad his pipe filled first, and
taking a match from his pocket drew
it quickly across his hip; fhe match
ignited, he applied it to the weed,
and began puffing like a locomotive,
sending out a small cloud of smoke.
Cunif’s first broke, delaying bim a
second or two. He was more success
ful with his second lucifer and was
soon under way and smoked all the
faster to make up for lost time. In
just twenty minutes by the watcli
Cunif finished his first pipeful aLd
loaded up the second time. Ander
son took plenty of time in using up
bis pipeful, drawing his last whiff in
a minute after.
Cunif had com
menced his second. Cunif started off
too rash, smoking at the rate o f a pipe
ful every twenty minutes on an aver
age for the first two hours Between
tho sixth and seventh he took a rest
for eight minutes, and thirteen min
utes at the end of the fifth hour. A
longer rest was taken at 6 o’clock to
allow for supper, at which time
twenty-one minutes were consumed.
Itesuming after supper Ounif puffed
with greater rapidity for awhile, but
soon began to call for water, with
which he riused out his mouth sever
al times. His tongue was beginning
to be sore, but he uttered not a word
of complaint until he had finished
his twentieth pipe, when he remarked
that the tobacco was too strong. He
continued, however, until the twenty
sixth pipe had been smoked ont, and
then tnrew up the spong at 9 o’clock
53 minutes and 34 seconds. —| St. L ou
is Republican.
-----------
C rushing a D upe —A young wo
man riding in a Boston horse car
bar) endured for ten minntes the fixed
gaze o f an impertinent dandy, when
a simple way o f getting the better of
him occurred to her. Assuming nn
expression of horror which gradually
relaxed into amusement, she looked
steadfastly for a moment at a
point on bis coat collar just be
low his ear, and then with a i qniet
qr
smile turned her eyes away.
Ne
was the complacency o f a young fool
more completely disturbed. He fig
ettad iu his seat, went through dread
ful contortions, and almost rolled his
eyes out o f their sockets in the effort
to extend his range o f vision to the
point below his ear; brushed softly,
then eagerly, then frantically, the
suspected spot, and at last, in an
agony o f apprehension, rnshed ont of
the ear and into an adjacent bar
room in search of a mirror.—[New
kork Tribane.
----------- ^ « —i ■ —------
The noblsat mind Lite boat eonMmi
meat has
The npward tendency of real estate
New York, as exhibited in the
increasing altitude of new buildings
a
curious freak
of
life
in the metropolis. There iB one large
and noble building in St. Lonis, on
the corner of Third and Pine, seven
stories high, and the recently erected
Belcher refinery is eleven stories
high. But there is too much ground
to erect buildings on in St. Louis to
_
irmit these dizzy altitudes to become
he rule. With a river front o f fif
.
teen miles, and a western limit seven
miles out, in a beautiful undulating
country, affording one o f the most at
tractive suburban environments in
the coiiquy, our city will spread
rather their tower. But New York is
strictly and severely hedged in by
bouudar:?f3 that cannot be overlap
ped except in one direction— and this
requires that the metropolis shall
make up in height what it lacks in
breadth. Seven and eight storied
houses have been common for some
time, and now we hear that one dar
ing landlord is preparing to erect nn
upartmeut building—the apartment
arrangement is growing in favor in
that city—fifteen stories high. This
will carry the occupants o f the up
per apartments up in the air on a
level with the point of church steeples.
It is enough almost to make one’s
head swim to think of it But peo
ple soon grow accustomed to novel
ties, and, no doubt, if this fifteen-
story edifice shall have the good for
tune to escape burning for a few
years, the striking picture it presents
of success in laying off valuable town
lots in the fenceless fields o f upper
air will tempt, other landlords to
imitate it, and even surpass it.
What is to be the limit o f altitude
for futnre New York houses? Who
knows but that, as ground in that
city becomes more and more scarce
and valuable, and hoisting apparatus
grows more and more perfect, the
gilded Gotham youth of to-day may
come to dwell in the clouds in houses
twenty, and even thirty storie* high?
The New Yorkers have been talking
for twelve years about rapid transit
Rapid transit, indeed!
What is
there rappid in n jogging journey
o f twenty minutes to a half hour
to the upper end of the city when
compared with a five-seconds flight
iu a nimble elevator to a serene elo
vation of five hundred feet above the
street. The elevator has already
lifted stone, brick and iron buildings
three to five stories above thero old
altitude, and is drawing them sky
ward still. It seems to bo accepted
in the metropolis as the coming in
strument for solving the population
problem on Manhattan Island. Anti
quarians tell us that nearly every
large city in the Old World stands on
the site of three or four dead cities
buried in tiers below it; but who can
say that three decades from now New
York will not present tho picture of
fifteen living populations covering
the same ground nt the same time,
and the languid elevator boy grand
chamberlain of the aerial arrange
ments?
THE MANY THINGS INTO WHICH PAPER
IS MADE.
A tall man with sharp features and
a thoughtful air, sat in a small study
and gazed gravely at a brewn object
that lay at his feet.
“ It is a paper railroad cross tie,”
he said.
The reporter raised it with Hume
difficulty. It was of very close fibre,
and ao highly polished that it re
resembled rosewood. Ita inventor
tapped it with his nail, and said:
“ It doesn’t look much like paper,
does itt”
“ It seems more like iron. Is it
possible that it is made of paper?”
“ Oh, yes, almost anything can now
be made of paper. A paper ball can
be rendered so solid that nothing will
indent it but a diamond tool. Car
wheels are now made of paper. Ita
strength is astonishing. You can
suspend 339 pounds from a Bank of
England note and it will not part.
Bath tube, pots, plates, knives, folks,
cooking Btovee, printing presses,
steam engines and chimneys are
made of paper nowadays, and there
is absolutely no limit to the nse to
which it may be put.”
“ Have paper cross ties over been
used?”
“ Not yet. The cross tie is my in
vention."
How did yon happen to think
of it?”
“ Well, I didn’t happen to think of
it, exactly. 1 started out deliberately
to invent a substitute for the wooden
cross tie or sleeper, and I kept
steadily at it nutil I was successful.
I thought of paper.
There are
scores of mills in the country where
paper, Btraw, prairie grass and other
fibrous substances are converted into
straw board. The process is simple.
The straw is reduced to a pnlp and
run ont into boards. These straw
boards are sold all over the country
as substitutes for wood. My inven
tion ntilizes straw Iwant. The cross
tie is constructed of sheets or layers
of paper or straw board, laid one
npon anotner. cemented and com
pressed into molds. It makes a per
fect cross tie It is practically water
anil tire proof, as it is mannfactnred
under 5<X) degrees of heat Atmos
pheric changes have no effect on it.
It can be made as cheap as wood at
the present time, and will last at
least twenty five years.—N. Y, Him.
This touching little incident Is
from the Rochester Poet. On# ri
from it* perusal witL mixed feelings;
“ A beautiful yonng girl was about to
be married to a bachelor o f savanty
years of age, but very rich. On the
eve of her marriage she learned that
his wealth had been suddenly swept
away, leaving bim a penniless old
man. Did the noble girl desert
in this hour of trouble? She did.
indeed, and her parents helped her,
loo, because they promptly recog
Bi.rel the unfitness of suen e match
ring o]
up we
Most men are mealy-mouthed about
three times a day.
The only person you can take sauce
from is the cook.
The favorite game with black
smiths is said to be old sledge.
Men go to sip beer, but the trouble
is that women gossip about it.
If you wish to know the cents of
the meeting, pass around the hat.
“ Vertical travel” is the latest
euphemism for dynamite explosions.
Don’t be in a hurry. It is all uon-
f ense to look for a needle iu a haste
act.
The enveloped muff is the latest
dodge. Hhe is «'ways r°ady for the
next male.
Histopr can never do Fitz John
Porter justice while his back pay is
withheld.
Let those without sin cast the first
stone and there will be no windows
broken.
Any musician knows that no one
but a natural would take a flat for a
sharp.
Cheek in a man is decidedly ob
jections]; but in a woman, who ever
saw enough?
The Irish will be light-hearted.
And so they make game of their
landlords.
His name was Foot. He was a
grave-digger. One foot in the grave.
D o you see it.
There is just one man who finds
life worth living for—he has a free
ticket to the theatre.
Winter is going, and so is egg-nog.
Therefore, you will not find so many
bowl-egged men.
The man who smokes will come to
some bad en d; that is, if he pulls on a
five cent cigar long enough.
“ I love the Summer,” said the
boarding-school girl, when she eloped
with her arithmetic teacher.
The man who insists that there is
novor anything lost is respectfully r e
quested to bring back our umbrella.
A Madison-ave girl who is expert
at handkerchief flirtation thinks she
ought to be chief o f the signal ser
vice.
The editor of tho Jersey City
Journal is about to publish a book en
titled “ The Wages of Sin.” How o f
ten we find men writing on a subject
of which they know the least nbout.
We never heard of an editor writing
a book on the “ Advantage of Wealth.”
In the opinion o f the Boston Globe
it is sad to observe how many youths
of 100, 102,107, 112,118 years old, re
spectively, the pargraphers are kill
ing without interviewing them as to
the quantity of liquor they have con
sumed, and thus been hurried to per
mature graves.
The mashed poet declared there
was nothing softer than a woman’s
heart. He K n e w nothing of tho head
of the dude who got away with the
heart.
“ It was Pi
pitched without,” said
clergyman i having
liavim Noah’s ark for his
theme, and an old base ball placer,
who had been calmly slum! boring,
awoke with a start and yelled “ foul.
The first bass from the choir come
down aud put him ont.
The typical New York shop girl is
unique in many ways, and is as un
like the Brooklyn, Philadelphia or
Boston shop girls as th*
differs from the strawberry,
speech, dress, habits and mod®
living are peculiar to herself. It
estimated that in New York alone
about 10.000 girls earn their living ae
shop girls. They
generally o f
Irish American or German parent
age, and attend the pnblie school* np
to the age o f 15, or perhaps 16, and
then enter a store, if in lock, either
at Macy’s or Ridleys’. Here they
remain, first cerrh.,; ;t a small no
tion counter, and il bright
ble soon rising to the laoe or
room. As a general thing these girls
are good looking and some o f there
are really beautiful, with arched in
steps and long taper fingers, that
many a millionaire’s daughter stand
ing on the other side of the counter
may well envy them.
They also
dress neatly, some o f them in excel
lent taste, their hair being especially
noticeable.
So many fashionable
women complain that as soon as a
becoming way o f wearing the hair is
known every shop-girl in the city
catches at it And why should she
not? I f she can make herself beau
tiful by rich attire, she certainly de
serves credit for trying to appear as
pretty as possible.
Ip walking through many o f oar
large dry goods stores last week the
Journalier was greatly pleased by
tho general appearance o f the girls.
Almost all of them wear the hair in
the Langtry fashion—that is, twisted
in a small knot in the nape o f the
neck with a curled bang in hunt, al
though many still cling to the straight
bang, which* gives a not highly re
fined countenance a bold look. Thefr
complexions me good, though pal®
from indoor confinement, and uery
few use paint or powder.
One h«!>rs a great deal o f talk about
“ fellows” and “ hims” and “ ljee,r ‘
it is generally harmless,
’
worse, except perhftps in - _
cal construction, than th e'em
indulged in by Fifth avenue
Most shop-girls have very sharp
tongues and unick.. tempers, and woe
* Aide the fidgety or hard-to please
shopper. Many timid ladies are art?
iinlly afraid o f shop girls, and quake
in their boots while asking in a meek
voice to be allowed to see some laoe.
Then the girl wants to know “ how
wide, what kind, what price,” etc., in
stead o f delighting the heart o f Hie
shopper by bringing down all the
lace in the store and letting her
choose her yard or two from it The
affability off the shop girl and her
willingness to show ana give opinions
on her wares will bring her a sure
trade, and has more to do with the
popularity of a store than any other
thing.
Now York shop girls are divided
into two classes. One class who think
they are Badly abused creatures, and
that every lady who sits down at their
counter is their natural enemy, and
therefore should be treated with as
little couriesv as policy will allow.
This class of girls are loud in their
talk, as well as exceedingly slangy,
and one hears such vulgarisms as:
“Oh, what cheek!” “ Do yon hear the
talk of that one?” “ Cash, hurry up
or I ’ll box your ears,” etc. They are
fond of walking on Sixth avenne and
flirting, and use much bandoline on
their hair; seldom have clean finger
nails or teeth.
Clarence Fitz-Herbert sends us a
beautiful poem beginning, “ I will
wait for iny love at beavven’s gate.”
We think you are about right, Clar
ence. People who write that kind of
poetry seldom get any further than
tho gate. You’ll probably continue
to wait there long after tho rest of us
have passed on inside, unless yon re
Tho other .class are gills o f con
form and quit writing poetry and siderable refinement, who are dainty
learned to s|iell heaven with one v.
about themselves, pay a great deal
W ife (who has been sitting up for of attention to keeping their hands
delinquent); “ Are you crazy? Have white and their collars and cuffs ir
you been going about the streets with reproachable, copy the manners and
your umbrella up this starlight expressions of their most elegant
night?”
Weary husbund: “ That's customers, study the arts of pleasing
just it dear. It’s the stars—perfect and patience and keep far aloof from
avalauche of 'em,—couldn’t dodge the other class of girls. These two
put—up
’em, so put—
np i umbrella. Thought classes heartily detest each other, the
ink I was intoxicated first uamed referring to the latter
people would thin
ife: “ If you didn’t class as “ them girls wuo try to put on
if I didn't W if
airs,” and the latter elevating their
‘Tired” one: “ Dun no.”
what?”
chins when passing the former to
An “ unmerged” woman at the show their utter disdain.
West, who applied for a position as
Both classes are warm-hearted and
driver of a »treet car, was asked if
she could manage mules. “Of course loyal to their companions when in
I can,” was the ready reply, “ I have trouble. They have their quarrels
like all other girls, generally about
had two husbands.”
lead pencils, account books, or some
There is hope for Boston. A bright, girl’s carelessness in folding np or
fashionable and elegantly-dressed
putting into place goods recently dis
worn in of that city announced the placed. They are also great critics
other day before a good many people
and talk freely among themselves o f
that her grandfather was a Boston the actions of the proprietor and his
tinsmith and stood well profession managers. Any partiality is quickly
ally!
noticed, and a prejudice against a
“ I don ’t want no rubbish, no lino floor walker or other d ig ital? ia
sentiments, if you please,” said the quickly formed, whether for liking
widow, who was asked what kind of or not liking, and held to against all
an epitaph sh« desired for her hus odds.
band’s tombstone. “ Let it be short
A New York shop girl can tell a
and simple- siiinetlii.'g like this.
from
woam b<, M
M
\\ illiarn Johnson, ag.nl 75 years, j q n ic k ly ¿ d a , tru ly aH an y o l d ¿ ¡ , h
The good die young.’
woman who has lived with th*
Mr*. Mountjoy Berassis (after sev “quality.” Many o f the ordinary
eral collisions): “ It strikes me, Mr. class o f shop girls marry; but the
Rudderford, you’re much more at majority of the better claas remain
home in a boat than in a ball room!” single, because tbe men they may
Little Bobby Rudderford, tbe famous marry are not refined enough for
Oxbridge coxswain: “ Yes, by Jove! them, and the men they w ould marry
And I'll sooner steer eight men than never ask them.
one woman any d a y !’’
A stranger would oftentimes find it
difficult to distinguish our shop girl
gru
from our fashionable belle, but there
Cemetery dp tes is something indefinable about a New
on the Main J Jewish
c
back to 1272.
York shop girl that to a New Yorker
Tho pneumatic plan of clearing distinguishes ber from all othar
the Fan* sewer* i* »aid to have been :1a
attended with excellent result* to
health.
A man who owes a little een riser
Mr. .Sergeant Ballatine, who viniled ¡1, off in a very little time, end if he
Ctah i* credited with the opinion is a prudent m an, Will|
that polygamy ia an institution emi man, who, by long n eg lig i
great deal, despairs o f ava
nently »mtod to a new country.
Queen Victoria has conferred a to p a y , a n d therefore
baronetcy npon Mr. T. Spencer Well», into his a cco u n ts at a ll.-
“
di*tingui»ha^ London surgeon
ident o r the Royal College