Polk County itemizer. (Dallas, Or.) 1879-1927, April 21, 1883, Image 1

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    J. S .
M c O A lN .
of Polk County in'Particular and to the Pacific Coast in General
K ubM criptioii H a to s:
s i U M C R irrioN
1 a.* ,
m u st
p a id
Dallas, Oregon.
Office ou Mill St.. North of C ouit House.
DR. \Y. a
X) K
I S T ,
Dallas, Oregon.
Office onu door uurth uf J. D. Lee’» White Brick.
buaiinmti e’ ltruated to theiu. Oitioe ou
opposite Court House, i »alias-
M ill St.
K . l . DAWNE,
and Notary Puplic-
|X and lounina iiK'iu-y Always prepared to loan from
j#liH) to jfJ,50U on personal or rt al estate security. Ottico
iu Griswold's building, opposite the bank, Salem, Ore­
Dallas, Oregon.
* f Court House. Collections made a specialty.
A t t o r n e y at l a w ,
-A N D -
Albany, Oregon,
State. All business entrusteil to bin» promptly at­
tended to. OHioe in O'Toole's Block, Broad-Aluiu St.,
M. L. Pines
Geo W. Belt,
Iudopon Pence.
f ì f " Will practice iu all the Courts
of tho Stato. Ottico up stairs in
Court House.
Bomoepathic Physician and Surgeon.
C a ll s D ay or N igh t P rofm tly A t ­
tended to .
Office on Mill Street opposite
Printing Office.
D R J. J3. .JOHNSON, •
D e n t ie t .
Having returned to Independence
to permanently locate, is prepared to
do all kinds of dental work. Filling
and treating a specialty.
Ottico in Vamfrtyu
Smith's now
b r ic k , u p stairs.
iu n r
J ohn
• K E S ID E N T
D E N T IS T ,
Dallas, Oregon.
(Late o f Eugene City and Sheridan.)
Nitro Oxide or Laughing Gas administered.
up sta'M over II. ’ . Buiior's store.
• D a l l a s , N ov . 17, 13a2.
M ill S treet, Italia*,
Watchmaker and Jeweler,
AVatches, Clocks and Sewing Ma­
chines Repaired.
All work Warranted
Haa?i>crnianently located in Dallas, Oregon.
Office in Hyde » drug store.
nov lltf.
Attorney and
at Law,
S a le m . O r e g o n . .
J o h n
M c D o w
Real Estate Agent,
J estate, will do tv*. 11 to consult me. Office two doors
west of Jap R- Miller's drug s t o r e .
W e have ir.ones to loan on approved Ileal Estate
Security, in sums from
One to Ten Thousand Dollars.
L From one to fiTe years;
Truitt & Johns.
August 24. 1
. ________________________ _
Dealers in
Drugs, Patent Medicines,
S T A T IO N E R Y ,
Perfumery, Fancy and Toilet Articles,
O REC05,
4 RF. S O W R E A D Y TO DO A L L K I X D * OF
¡BlackBniitli w >rk in th** fr line o f hu«ine*B in the
1 let live plan. You will
)n<l them *t their shop when« rer work ie wante I, «lay
•r nigh? Our »hop i* at tlveElk-hf rn sign, one dour
T i b i : Bum« * i i o r r i » * . 1leery stable
We thank yuu fot your cue?' urn in the pa** »u-l hope
We are
rou will continue the earn« in the
i f future
L- t i 4 a a/iv
Pi i. »WELL
And County Surveyor.
D allas . Onwcon.
U ******
. I
tho whole of us, and sho taught this
ou« how io cook, and that one how to
patch and diirn. and before we know
it she was a god mother and an idol.
A queen could not bine commanded
deeper respect, nor an uugel grouter
She was with us about six weeks,
and then went away with friends who
came for her. Each man was taken
by tho hand and given a good bye
word, and as she was lost to sight
down the trail tho awful silence cov­
“ Little Bo-peep has lost her sheep
Hurry up, darling; do goto sleep!
ering our crowd was broken by the
Maybe you’ ll hud m'tho land of dreams
thundering rojiort of tho Judge blow­
Litllo Bo-peep by the shady streams
ing his nose, followed by the husky
Waiting for you , with her to go
After her lam hies as white as snow;
Hunting thro’ meadows and glen and doll
“ Wall I swan! Hanged if I ’ve felt
T o find tho dear creatures all safe and well,
so much liko crying in about furty-
Out where the harebells grow,
seven years!”
Bleating and feeding to and fro,
J. N. SMI.TII, M. D.,
Devoted to the Beet Interests
¡é¡-* 50 t
Single Copies Ou« Y e a r. ..
Three Mouth»
«iiiglo Num ber.......................
“ Little 1?. icep has loot lier slieej»!
A m nhtir
unifia^ her baby to sleep,
Hut the tinj’ lin e r s tipped with ji
Round one anotlitr vexutiously twirl.
And f e e t s o cunning, ho rosy and quick,
Are tossing the crib quilt with punch and
And wide-awuke eyes jnst as blue as the sky
Are saying to muumiu, “ I ’ll sleep by und by!
And you can’ t hurry me ono wee bit,
Though trying your sweetest you patiently
And sing by the hour beside.’ ’
A swingin’ their tails behind thorn!”
Lowor udd lower tho shadow dips
Over the forehead, tho chocks, tho liptft
Love-lit eyes are closed at last,
Robert Bonner I »ought a lot o f land
on Fifth avenue, New York, not long
Lullaby, hushaby song is past;
ago for $250,000, for which ho has re
Baby has gone to tho land of dreams,
fusod an offer of $ 1 , 000 , 000 .
Hunting Bo-peep by the shady streams,
Mother unwearied her vigil keeps,
At least threo men on tho averago
Dreaming awake, while her baby sleeps—
jary feel bound to disagree with tho
Droams while the future perchance mu*'
rest to show that they’ve got minds of
T o h r winsome darling and leave no sting, their own.
No waking grief behind them.
A man’s idea o f intimacy with a
woman is that he shall be allowed to
talk about himself, aud she shall
No man of us who was there cun listen.
With ¡Sprague as its Democratic
ever forget tlio afternoon a party of
hunters and Indian lighters rode up nominee for Governor, and Conkling
to our mining camp with a loue wom­ stumping against him, little Rhode
Island would be rocked from center to
an in their midst.
It had been twenty two months circumference.
since 11113 '
us had seen anything
After tho wedding o f David Davis
more resembling a woman than a pair the unmarried ¡Senators will be Mr.
of spectacles and a red cotton hand Anthony, of Rhode Island, aged 68 ,
kerchief, and to say that we were Mr. Hanqiton, of South Carolina, 65,
knocked down, stepped on and and Mr. Jones, of Florida, about 50.
crushed into the hard soil with astcyi-
From P u n ch : “ Tho D aily Tele­
ishmeut is saying a little enough.
graph thinks tho conversion into a
The woman was a widow who had dry-goods storo o f Booth's Theater,
been captured by the Indians from in New York, originally erected as a
an immigrant train and then recap­ permanent homo for the 'legitimate
tured by tho hunters. She was about drama,’ is a curious theatrical meta­
JO years of age, bad taken the situa­ morphosis. We can not si1« it, for the
tion coolly, and instoad of making an reason that dry' goods and legitimate
effort to restore horself to the train drama are almost synonymous terms.”
and to her relatives with whom she
Artemus Ward's grave is marked by
was journeying, had asked to be set
down iu our camp until she could a plain marble slab, on which is the
make up her mind what course to pur­ inscription, “ Charles F. Browne,
sue. This was the way the leader of known to the world as Artemus Ward,
tho hunters turned her over to our died at Southampton, England, 1867,
aged 33 years.”
These words were
“ Say, you diggers arter silver, here’s copied from the letter sent to the sor­
a woman who wants to stop here fur rowing mother by Mr. Miller, the
a spell till sho gits rostetl! She's ed- English gentleman who cared for the
decated, and she sings liko a south son iu Ins late illness, pud closed his
wind blowing over prairie flowers.” eyes when ho ceased to breathe.
Miss Rannubnll, an East Indian
And this was tho way wo reeeivod
girl, is said to be the most learned
“ Ahem—yes— ahem—jess so—yes woman in the world und can talk in
—hats off, boys—no swearing -g la d twelve different languages. It speaks
to soo ye—hope yer well— ahem—ex­ volumes for tho lovol-lieadodness of
the average male East Indian that she
There was thirty of us standing still retains the title of “ Miss.” Only
around there, mouths open, hats off, a man who was deaf enoifirh to hear
knees wobbling, and more coming up nothing in at least twenty-four differ
from the diggings every minute, and ent languages would think of asking
.-'Uimthing iu the situation made the! such a woman to espouse him.
widow ¿si*. • •-* ' looked as ov c- 1
At the recent fire in tho Cambridge,
tile my claims as follows:
Mass., cur-shops, ono of the engineers
1 . I assisted her off the horse
wanted help in raising a ladder, aDil
2 . I said I hoped sho was well.
seeing a man standing on the sidewall-
it. I remarked that it was a melo­ near by, he called to him: “ Here, you
give us a lift.” The man responded
dious afternoon.
4. Who accepted my arm as we with alacrity, find a moment later,
walked to the camp, and then ac­ when the engineer took a better look
cepted my shanty as her head­ at him, he discovered that his assist
ant was President Eliot, of Harvuru
I f a tidal wave six feet high had University. An apology was begun,
come rolling up the valley it wouldn’t but the President graciously declared
have plot’ need half the flutter occa­ that it was all right, and he was only
sioned by the presence of the Widow too glad to be of any assistance.
Flemming. Thero woro eighty or
Disraeli hesitated much, says the
ninety of us, rough, brawny and more London 'Truth, like Sergeant Ballan
or less wicked, some married, some tine. Before bringing out some tell
divorced and some old bachelors, and ing and well prepared adjective, he
to have a dumpy little black eyed would “ or er-er” .for a minute or two,
widow with a pretty mouth and a so as to make his hearers suppose
voice as sweet as sixty cent molasses that he was choosing between half a
pop in upon us at 3 o’clock in the dozen words. And yet muny of Mr
afternoon was excuse enough to stop Disraeli’s most effective speeches
work and send the query up und down were learned by heart. Ho would
tho lines:
give thorn to tho Times reporter before
“ Well, isn’t this the next thing to delivered, and although the reporter
the judgment day?”
followed the speech, pencil in hand,
Several curious things happened ho seldom had to alter a single word,
right away. Col Taylor, who had never so excellent was Mr. Disraeli’s mein
been known to wash his face or comb ory.
his hair, started out in search of a
Hun. Andrew D. TYhito, President
clean shirt and a pocket-comb, and
o f Cornell University, says the co­
offered lip as high as $15 without be­
education o f the sexes is a good
ing able to securo them. He then
thing. No scandals have arisen at
made a bee-line for the creek, washed
Cornell growing out o f tho system.
the only shirt he was ever known to
Indeed, as regards morals, the young
have, combed his hair with a stick,
and in half an hour was back in camp women havo acted as a restraint upon
the young men. The results havo
ami wanting an introduction to the
been better scholarship and better
deportment He remarks: “ VVe find
Bill Goodhen. tho ugliest looking
in the classes that men will outrank
mau in camp, offered $5 for a piece of
lookiny-glass two inches square, and women in study, and that two or
three o f them will bo far ahead; but
not being able to find ono he went
we also find that, taking the class
and washed his feet as the next best
altogether, women have a better
There was a general washing up average—that is, a better general
average. Taken altogether, the re­
and combing and scrubbing and hunt
ing out clean shirts and neckties, und sults thus far have fully realized the
the old man l ’ ayson, who had been most sanguine hopes of tho friends
siek in bed for a week, got up and be­ o f co education.”
Manuel Blasos, commonly called
gan to chew tobacco and call for his
“ Old Blazes,” is a New Mexican gain
clcthes, and he observed:
“ Gentlemen, who knows but what bier with a portable hell on wheels
this widder heard that I had $60 saved ThiR is a car, something like those
up and she has come here to ask my used by traveling photographers, but
is as bright and gay as a circus band
hand in marriage?”
I have further claims to file, as wagon, and is drawn by six handsome
horses. The interior contains a faro
5. I was chosen guardian to the table, a roulette-wheel and other fix
tures for gaming. Manuel has several
widow by a unanimous vote.
6 . The widow seemed perfectly assistants, and goes from place to
: placo according to tho outlook foi
satisfied with the choice.
7. I had the only clean white shirt profitable business. Thus he is sure
in that whole-camp, and only live but­ j to apjWar at every large fair within
tons were missing from the garment. ' 200 miles of the Mexican border on
Other claims were intrusted to mo either side. A now and prosperon
mining camp offers inducements, too,
to lie tiled, as follows:
Seven dilierent men had their hair ' and lately h« established himself close
; to a Jexas camp meeting with peril
Six others shaved themselves with ninry profit. Ho has the repntatim
of running square games, arid his
Over a dozenfof our band let np a party goes so well armed that they
notch or two on swearing, except defy robbers.
Mr. Julian Hawthorne, has nearly
when on the other side o f the camp.
W ell, it was curious what a change finished the conclusion to his novel
that widow wrought in our camp, in “ Fortnne’s Fool,” for which tho read
our way of living, and upon the man­ •rs of an English magazine have been
W e understand that tin-
ners of the men. Each one made un waiting.
effort to clean and slick up, and in novel in its complete form was sent to
most cases with marked success. Be­ the magazine and paid for before iff
fore her advent we could count on first part had been published. Bn'
two or three quarrels per day. After the author, having had a new idea
her coming such a thing was never with respect to the termination of the
known. Indeed, one flay when Peter story, asked for the return of the last
W hite «o far forgot himself as to in­ pages o f his MS., and when he had
sult Charles O’Gay. Charles took him received them proceeded to rewritt
and multiply them.
aside and whispered:
“ Peter. I kin turn ye wrong side the new MS. never reached itsdestin
ont in six ticks of a clock, but I'm not ation. and Mr. Hawthorne thinks that
the sort of a gentleman to kick up a it must have been lost in the mails
row and upset a lady's nerves. I'll As soon as he could overcome bis dis
lay it np agin ye, and arter she leaves appointment and vexation he began
for the third time the conclusion of
camp I ’ll wallop ye or die trying."
And tho widow, she sewed on but the novel, which will be forwarded to
tons and mended rent garments for I London in a few days.
TR A K ri.N O
$ “ T his is my M other .” — The follow
Account of Two Mea who wer« Lost la tho ing touching incident, related in tho
Burlington Hawkeye, illustrates both
Sierra Nevada Mountain! J
tho tenderness of the German heart
find the familiar lines of Coleridge:
“ A mother is a mother still,
The holiest thing alive.”
We were at a railroad junction one
A few weeks ago Mr. J. H. Sterling night, say* the writer, waiting a few
started out from a camp in the Sierru hours for a train, in the waiting-room,
Nevada to inspect some mining iu the only rocking-chair, trying to
property on Mount Gibbs. He was talk a brown-eyed hoy to sleep, who
talks a great deal when he wants to
accompanied by a guide named Mc- Iwep awake.
Kinnen, and on tbpir way they were
Presently a freight train arrived,
overtaken by a furious snow storm. afitl a beautiful little old woman came
For two nights and two days they in, escorted by a groat big German.
were lost, and they nearly starved t o , They talked in Germen, he giving
death. They had no provisions with i her evidently lotH of information
them, and all they had that they cl >ut tho route sho was going, und
could eat was a small piece d le v, tel: e g h<-r about her tickets and he;
fat bacon which they had taken with baggage-check, and occasionally pat­
them for use in grousing their snow- ting her on the arm.
At first our United States baby, who
hungry the first day, and divided and did not understand German, was
to hear them talk, and he
ate the bacon raw. After the first
day they did not much feel tho pangs “ snickered” at the peculiar sound of
of hunger, but felt great weakness. the language that was being spoken.
The great big man put his baud up
They had no blankets, and did not
dare to attempt to sleep. Tho place to tho good old lady's cheek, and said
was full of precipices, and they could something encouraging, and a great
big tear camo to her eye, and she
9 nly travel duriug daylight.
Tho first night they stopped whero looked as happy as a queen.
The little
ittle brown eyes of the boy
thero was some wood, but tho next
night came upon them in a place opened pretty big, and his face so-
where all was bare and barren. At a liered down fr rom its laugh, and ho
distance they had seen what had ap­ said.—
“ Paca, it is his mother!”
peared to be a small grove, fur down
W e "know it was, but how should a
in a big canon.
When they reached what they sup­ four year old sleepy baby, that
posed was a grove, they found it was couldn’t understand Gorman, tell that
only a black patch of sage-brush, the the lady was tho big man’s mother,
tops o f which they hud seen above aud we asked him how ho knew, and
ho said,—
the snow.
“ Oh, the big man was so kind to
As they could make sufficient fire
with sage-brush to keep from freez­ her.”
The big man bustled out, we gave
ing, howover. they decided to pass
tho night at the spot. They kept the rocking-chair to the little old
awake all night, and were busy about mothor, and presently the man came
half the time pulling sage brush in in with a baggage-man, and to him he
spoke English. He said:
order to keep up their tiro.
“ This is my mother, and sho does
The next day they discovered that
tlioy had got down into Bloody not spuaki English. Sho is going to
Canon, the mouth of which strikes Iowa, aud I have got to go back on
tho plains in tho neighborhood of the next train, but I want you to at­
Mono Lake. They passed on, wal­ ten d to her baggage and see her on
lowing through heavy drifts and tho right train, the rear car, »with a
tumbling down tho rocky terraces good seat near the center, aud tell the
conductor she’s my mother.
with which tho canon is filled.
“ And here is a dollar for you, and I
During the day M cKinnen became
delirious, and Mr. Sperling had great will do as much for your mother some
difficulty in getting him to travel. time.”
The hngga^-m an grasped tho dol­
Ho imagined all manner of things.
At ono time he declared he saw u lar with one hand, grasped the big
man’s hand with tho other, and looked
horse tied to a tree.
“ There he is,” cried he; “ don’t you at tho little German with an expros
seo him? And the dog— thero is a* sion that Hliowod that ho had a moth­
dog with the horso. There must be er, too, aud we almost know the old
lady was well treated.
a man near.”
TheD ho put tho sleeping mind-
“ Thero is no tree, no horse, no dog,”
aid Sperling; “ you only imagine reader on a bench and went out on
these things. Come on or wo shall the platform and got acquainted with
perish. It is only a little way down the big German.
Ho talked of horse-trading, buying
tin- canon.”
It was necessary to haul McKinnen and selling and everything that
•d -ng J • vn
h - ’ l * . ' « he rwr- showed he was a liveobusiness mam
r any speculation, from buy
sisteu in declaim-* iuai he saw resting
, unrling colt to a crop of hops
horse ami a dog.
and that his life was a
Next McKinnon declared that -e
saw a man but a little way off with a busy one, nud at times full of hard
work, disappointment, hard roads.
basket on his arm.
But with all of thiB hurry aud ex­
‘He is beckoning us to come to
him,” ho said. “ Let us go. Ho is a citement ho was kind to his ^mothor,
man sent to Und us. Ho has in the and wo loved him just a little.
Whon, after a few minutes’ talk
basket something for us to eat.”
‘ You are mistaken,” said Mr. Sper­ about business, ho said, “ You must
ling; “ there is no man there. There excuse me; I must go in tho depot
and boo if my mother wants any­
is nothing at all.”
“I toll you that you are snow-blind. thing," we felt liko taking his fat, red
There is a man there with a basket, hand and kissing it
Oh! tho love of tho mother is the
anil he wants us to com « to him.”
•Como along,” cried Sperling; same iu aDy ianguage, and it is good
“ there is no man, and we shall perish in all languages.
L amr S tewed .—Cut the serag, or
if we stop here.”
‘No.” said M cKinnen; “ we shall breast o f lamb, in pieces and put in a
stew pan with water enough to cover
die if we don’t g o to the man.”
‘You are a Tittle liighty—a little it. Cover the stow pan close and let
out of your head,” said Sperling; it simmer or stow for fifteen or twentyi
believe what I tell you and come minutes; tako off the scum, then add
a tablespoonful o f salt and a quart of
“ I shall not go on. I see the man canned pens; cover the stew pan and
plainly enough. He has a basket ou let them stew for half and hour;
lis arm, and motions for us to come work a small tublespoonful of wheat
to him If you can’t soe him, you are Hour with threo tublespooufuls of
either blind or crazy. I havo as much butter and slir it into the stew; add
right to my way as you have to yours, pepper to taste; let it simmer to­
gether for tun minutes.
id I sny let us go to the man!”
Sperling found it necessary to drag
T u r k e y F a t t ie s . — Mince some of
his companion away by force. Soon the white part anil with gratod lemon,
he became so much worse that ho nutmeg, salt, a very little white pep
would stop and talk to stumps anil per, cream and a small piece of but­
stones, telling them ho was lost, and ter. warmed. Fill the patties.
asking them to lead him out o f the
P o t a t o P a s t y . — Chop your cold
beef fine: season
With infinite toil and troublo Mr. pepper and add drawn butter, put
Sperling and his companion finally ting parsley and onions pickled
reached Troy’s ranch, near Mono chopped fine. Pour this mixture into
Lake, and all their troubles were a greased bakedish; cover with hard
soon over. Mr. Troy was not at lioiled eggs sliced. Work a largo cup
home, but bis wife did all that any of mashed potatoes soft with a cup
one could havo done for the two men. of milk nnil two tablcspoonfuls of
McKinnen came out all right in butter.
Add flour until you can just
mind after ho had ea ten .u ni slept, roll it out—the softer tho better, so
hut still thought he must have seen long as you can handle it. Roll into
a horso and dog, and a man with a a thick sheet; spread upon the sur­
basket on his arm.
face of your mince, printing the
» *•» ♦
•dges, and bake in a moderate oven.
It is said to tho crodit of young
ladies in Austria that they are ashniu
ed to marry without a practical
knowledge of cookiag, and o f the ar
rangements necessary for great enter­
tainments. They would consider it a
disgrace to confess ignorance to their
husbands, or to have anything go
amiss at a grand dinner in their own
homes. Instead of learning at home,
they put themselves under tho teach
ing of a professed cook, and study all
the minutiie of preparing tho best
dishes aud serving them.
When a famous cook accepts a po-
sition, he makes a priviso that he is
to be allowed the privilege o f instruct
ing pupils. When he is to prepare
a grand entertainment, his pupils re
ccive notice, and repair to the house
where he serves, to watch the prepar
ations. They are in the kitchen to
* e how each dish is made ready.
They are again at the feast, to see
how each is served.
Young ladies o f noble families
visit in this way the kitchens o f peo
pie with whom they have no ac
quaintance, and it would be a breach
of etiquette tor the households to in-
quire about them, or to go to the
kitchen while they are there.
The celebration in Philadelphia of
the bi-centennial anniversary of W il­
liam Penn’s landing, brought to
light many singular bits of history
concerning tho great proprietor.
Among them was the story of his
grandfnther, Capt. Penn. who. when
a poor mate on a vessel, captured
anil brought to England a pair of
Tetuan hawks, which lie presented to
the king.
Charles, who was inordinately fond
of tho sport of hawking, was so
I'h'F-sed with tho gift, that he gave let
, >e u iv T n v o i / i o i i / i n
D o n n l/v I v n / l n
| ♦ ters
of protection to Penn
to trade Cl at I
Teinan and to bnv hawks anil horses
tor the court.
Penn liecame wealthy. His ton
entered the navy high in the service,
was made admiral, and so was able to
bring bis son, William Penn, a royal
gift o f tbe province o f Pennsylvania.
If it had not beon tor the Tetuan
hawks, some other man than William
1 Penn would have made the “ Holly
Experiment," if it wns ever made at
] all.
; “ As n landed proprietor," says
j Prince Bismarck, T do all in my
j power to support the observance of
Sunday, but I would not havo people
I legally compelled to keep the day rig
idly. There ought to lie no ordinary
I work on Sundays; and I think so not
j so much on account of the Scriptural
command, hut because men must have
time for proper repose.”
Dr. Marion Sims, who has a spopial
reputation for treatment o f nervous
diseases, declared in Philadelphia the
other day that Horace Greeley suf­
fered from cerebro spinal meningitis
in his last illness, and “should no
more have been sent to the insane
Home training has more to do with
asylum tor treatment than should a | onr manhood and success in life than
delirious typhoid fever patent,”
I school training.
E n jliih
I f one should read in a novel of
the daughter o f an English earl
eloping with a music master, coming
to America, and in default o f music
pupils, supporting herself ami her
husband by writing for the maga­
zines and newspapers; if he should
further read of her as engaged as a
teacher in a New Eng lumi school; if
’ e should then further read of her
far from 'her family and
ienSs, at the early age o f thirty-five
years, the story would seem to meet
all the conditions of a circulating li­
brary romance, und to bo worthy of
the usual need o f tears and sighs.
Yet all this is precisely what has
happened in the case of Lady Biotiche
Murphy, who died iu North Con .vay,
N. H., on Tuesday last. Any one
can look up her birth in Lodge's
Peerage—“ Lady Blamhe-Eliznbeth-
Mary-Annunciata, b. 25 March, i U5.”
The motto will be found, in the
same rascinating volume, of the
house of Gainsborough—“ Tout bien
ou rien,’’ translated “ All or notl.ing;”
which reminds us of the title of one of
Dryden’s plays—“ All for L o»o; or,
The W orld Well Lost.” Her lady­
ship, whether writing for the news­
papers in New Y'ork, or teaching
school iu Now Hampshire, was true
to the legend of her race. M'è know
little that is particular about her; she
may or may not havo been personally
beautiful, well informed sho evidently
was, and oven accomplished; and she
exhibited pluck and endurance and
industry, aud au acceptance i t tho
situation to which her affection had
brought her, which it is imp« sible
not io admire. When her father o f­
fered to receive her in her old homo,
if she would give up her husband,
she instantly doclined the invìi.ition.
She seems to have had a good, old
fashioned, constant heart, o f a kind
which if not so common as it once
was, and which is destined, w four,
as the world goes on in its peculiar
civilization, to become (except in
novels) rarer still. -We do not say
that it is a good thing iu itseif tol­
tile daughter of au earl to olopo with
a music-master, or to marry in oppo­
sition to the wishos of her no' lo fa­
ther; but thero is something beautiful
in tho courago aud persiotenco < f this
Lady Blancho, and iu the fidelity
with which she adhered to tue Udii
oils fortunos of her husband.
People will very naturally say that
she m ust have been very fin n appy.
On the contrary, she wus probably
not unhappy at all. Her unxi ty to
m .try herself out of the peerng > wi.s
as great as that Of many youug ladies
to mnrry themselves into it. Sho
had her own way, and that was a
great deal. She had the husband of
her choice, and wo trust that, lie was
worthy o f her devotion. She kept
busily at her work, anil had no time
tor sighing. The home which sho
left may cr mey not havo boon
a happy one, but she left it to
make u home of ber own. Whoa she
died, many difficulties had been sur
mounted, and tho future was bright­
er. I f the novel had only boon a lit­
tle longer, it might have ended even
Doubtless many romances aro con­
tinually occurring in real life quite as
strange and striking as this whe h we
aro considering. They lack only this
element or the other which, it they
had it, would put them into tho news­
papers. What thoy teach is the real-
lyun iform character o f most of our
social life. Thousands upon thou­
sands pass through existence without
doing anything which in tho least ns
tonisnes anylKiily. No wonder that
line o f Gray—“ They kept the oven
tenor o f their w ay’’— is in «very
body’s mouth. It is tho biography of
tho million. When anything a little
out o f tho usual occurs it is much
talked o f until something still odder,
or at least freslior, supplants it. Then
wo lift uj> both hands and exclaim:
“ Truth is stranger than fiction.” It
would be wiser to say that fiction,
kept within duo bounds and free
from wild improbability, is merely
truth—a record o f something which
has actually happened with the liumes
left o u t The lady Blunt :uo Murphy
will go into a hundred novels, i.nil wo
dare say that she has been in half a
dozen already.
If the statement did not ap; -nr in
a French pnper wo should perhaps be
inclined to doubt all the detail of tho
incident which wo find record« I in u
Paris newspaper o f a recent date. A
most amiable and devoted wife is the
heroine. Sho is lovely and pi teases
a set of white, pearly teeth. A few
weeks since one o f the most promi
nent of her teeth became tronli , some,
and the dentist declared that I could
not save it, as it had commei oil to
decay at tho root Ho propos, ¡1 that
sho find some one who hail equally
beautiful teeth and induce her to par«
with one, which he would transplant
and thus preserve her beauty. Tho
lady thought at onco o f her portoross.
who was the terror o f the household
and the torment o f her poor husband,
whose life she made miserable by her
evil temper. His head bore marks of
a hundred attacks. The woman con
sented to give up the coveted pearl
tor $ 10 . T hey repaired to the dentist,
and, with the aid o f ether, the trans­
fer wao made without pain to either.
Bnt mark what followed it might
not follow in England, but in Paris
everything is jmssihlo. The porter
ess lost her viciousness and liecame
so amiable that her dilapidated hus­
band had fears o f her insanity, whi le
the charming lady, whose whole life
had been a perpetual blessing to her
husband and friends, has become
such a vixen that there is no living in
the house with her.
The girl who declares that she
would not marry the best man alive
quite frequently proves her sincerity
by marrying the worse man she can
“ I havo here, sir, some superior
writing paper that I —”
.“ D on’t want any!”
“Am introducing to every family in
tho city.”
“ You’ll not introduce uny o f it
“ My method is to mnko everybody
a present o f one quire, twenty-four
sheets, and a bunch of envelopes, pro­
vided— ’’
“ See here, gentle youth, I presume
you arb wound up to run all day, and
I don’t care to stop you. But please
shift the attachments of your Keeley
motor from your tongue to your legs.
I borrow my paper and envelopes
from the grocer ou tho corner, have a
large stock o f impudence on hand
und manufacture my own imperti­
nence. I f you have a large dog with
an insatiable appetite tor peddling
tramps, you can consider him s o l i
regurdless o f the price. If not, there
is nothing I desire excepting to see
how your coat fits in the back, and to
observo whether or not its tail flops
as you walk. Y’ ou are excused tor
tho day. Run along now, und have a
good timo with the other boys, but,
mind what I am saying! D on’t play
marbles for ‘keeps!’ ”
As tbo youth passed down tho steps
he sighed despairingly.
“ That’s all right,” remarked the
wife as the gentleman resumed his
seat at the breakfast table aud mado
au onslaught upon a buckwheat flap-
jack that had grown chilly during tho
colloquy at tho door, “ but if you were
a woman, you’d not get rid of those
fellows so easily. They are a nuisance
already, ami are becoming more nu­
merous nud moro persistent every
day. Many of them will try the door
beforo ringing, and if it happens to
be unlocked, will walk right in. Once
inside, it is a difficult matter to get
them out again. It’s no uso to tell
them you want none of thoir goods;
thoy will insist upon showing thorn,
and talk until my head aches. Some-
times I actually buy things I do not
want, just to get peddlers out o f the
“Ah! That is wiso. It never oc­
curred to me before, but thut device
is one o f tbe huppiest feminine
thoughts I ever heard of. Of course,
they never come again? Or, if they
do, of course they go directly away
as soon oh you tell them yon want
nothing? Allow me to congratulate
you! As a piece of strategy, that
amounts to an inspiration.”
"Laugh, if you want to! I just
wish you were a woman! I ’d go right
down town aud send a sowing-
machine agent up here. Thoy drive
up in front of the door, shoulder a
machine, and walk right in. Thoy
remind me of a photograph—huvo
hut one story, and can tell that for­
ward or backwards. They want to
show you how nicely their machine
hems, and tucks anil braids.”
' Hold out Pv«i got an idea - In
match yours. D on ’t hiro uny more
sewing done. Get u lot dl cloth, aud
when those follows call and insist
upon hemming . and tucking, bring
out some cloth and let ’em tuck.”
“ A book agent caught me tho other
day, nicely. Sho introduced herself,
uinl I actually thr light she was some
new neighl»or. She chatted upon one
topic ami another tor us much as ten
minutes, and finally began telling me
about a new novel she was reading.
Then she opened her reticule and
pulied out the book. I admired her
ussuranco so much thut I actually
bought the wishy-washy novel.”
“ My dear, this is a gun. It is
“ Both holes?”
“ Both barrels are loaded. This end
of it is quite dangerous; the other
only moderately so. I will train it
across these two chairs in such a posi­
tion that it will enfilade the door. Be
sure and get around behind it before
J o u fire. When I come home to dinner,
I slmd bring a coroner and un under
taker to remove whatever human de
bris may be lying around. Au rovoir.”
■ —| Detroit Freo Press
Young America is full o f inven­
tions, as many a parent can testify;
and like other inventors sometimes
suffers in his endeavors to embody
his ideas so that they can be o f ser-
viento himself and the world. The
following, from the Louisville Com­
mercial, shows what we mean.
A boy in this city met with a se­
vere accident recently at the homo of
his parents. He is about eight years
o f ago and is considered by bis play’-
inates ns a very daring and rockiess
lad. F or some time he has been at
work upon a pair of wings which
would enable him to soar through the
air like an eagle.
He reasoned that if he could only
make wings large enough and light
enough; there was no reason why he
should not Hy ns well ns a bird. Ac­
cordingly ho made two wings out of
light paper, so contrived that thoy
could be fastened tightly to the arms.
W ie n they were completed, ho
called his companions together to
witness the success of his scheme.
H» ascended a high shed, fastened on
his wings, and with a crow and a
flap leaped off. full of sanguine hopes
that the treacherous air would buoy
him up.
Gravitación evidently did not sym-
pnthixo with him, or his paper wings
were mutinous, for he had no sooner
made his leap and his shout of
triumph, than he went to tho ground
in a heap, completely demoralized,
the wings that were to soar him aloft
nilding to his fall. Then followed a
cry of pain and a call for help. He
had struck upon thn left leg. break­
ing it just I h 'I o w the kni-e. This will
probably put nil end to his hopes of
flying like a bird.
Scene at the close of a session of
court. Boy of ten, who has been an
interested spectator of the events that
have attended tho trial just ended:
“ Papa, why does that man” (indi­
rating tho cner) “ call out. ‘God save
Ci minion wealth of Massachusetts!’
when the court close»?”
The father who has jnst had a suit
for damages go against him, replies,
“ I suppose he thinks the people need
some special protection whenever »
gang o f lawyers, who have been shut
up here all day, are about to be
turned loose opon it again "
“ Do you ever
one person’s jaw f
asked a
Express, yesterday
dentist in
whose hand* he
exquisite misery o f 1
some molar drilled c
“ Yes, occasionally,”
“ I son
teeth are i
one or two, i
tent with any artificial i
such a case the thing
person willing, for any
part with a sound tooth
ing in position and size,
by leaving an order at an
a speciality ia made o f i
teeth with the use of gaa, a
will be found who wants the i
bicuspid that you are looking I
taken out. One o f my cases
young man from Princeton, a 1
gical student, who had a bat
cayed front incisor and had a 1
of false teeth. I went to half
offices in the city, but did not
any one who wanted such a tootl
tracted. People care a good
more for a front than a back
“ How do yon manage the trai
“ Well, I have both parties Co f
operation in tho operating room
the same time.' The tooth to
transferred is drawn and if perfectly
sound is immediately placed in th»
cavity from which tbe decayed
has just been taken out. Son» "
the touth to be transferred ia
to be slightly decayed when ik i
tracted, in which case we carefully
fill it before patting it in (he mania
of its new owner.”
“ Is it easy to find persons who will
part with their teeth?”
“ Yes, for a sufficient oongideratipp.
There are always men to be found
who, never having lain awake wijbh
the toothache all night, < U U IU 1V RMS
a ten dollar bill than for
or a gpod •
tooth. A man who wants a ite
1 o tb a a d -
wants it badly enough to p » y j
can always find one for
down on the docks among t
shoremen, or wherever there
largo number o f laborers 7 emp
In ouo case that I
man parted with fcivaj
front teeth tor $3
case of necessity with ham, fo r ,
wont ou a spree with the mousy .
They are telling the following story
alniut the way Boston wives have to
maueuvre in order to extract a littlo
extra money from the tightly -strap­
ped piocketbooks of. their husbandas
A well-dressed, fine looking woman
cmne into a mantuamakePs one day,
and notwithstanding that other peo-
plo wore within hearing distance, bor­
rowed twenty-five dollars. “ I’ll tell
you how to fix it,” she said; “ tuok
$10 somehow ou to the bill for that
lust dress, distribute another ten
upon the trimmings of the one you
are making now, and the other five
cun bo put on some things I must have
for the children. Make the bill look
plausible, and keep it over a month
longer. I’ll make good the obligation
lit another time; bnt I must have the
money, and my husband don't allow
mo enough in any other way.” In a
fruit shop tho other day the wife of
the proprietor camo in with a friend
and asked her husband to hand the
friend 10 cents, with which she had
supplied her to getra spool of thread
while out. He aid so, -and the wife
walked off, evidently too well
her penniless condition to a
thing odd about i t Another «
woman of far lower social _
than the one first mentioned
a milliner's store, and,
handsome feather, asked the
“ Seven dollars," said the
man. “ W ill you put it by for
live weeks?” asked the purehaaar.
have but two dollars to pay
now, hut I liko nice things, and
!>a sure to get the money, f
husband always allows me f l a
she exclaimed, looking
pride. Tho shopkeeper
she left, smiling. “ G lory be'to
exclaimed an Irishwoman _
tbe door closed upon her.
lived with the man that
'hose thirty years and he’s
me his wages every Saturday
and never axed me afterward '
I do with it ’ceptin’ now am
ax me for a quarter for a
asmoke! Signs-by! Pve
ed his substance; and the
found out before this!”
Tho Legislature o f Va ___
cently passed a law providing 1
•‘instruction lie imparted *“ —“
schools in elementary I ‘
hygiene, which shall
promiuence totheeffect«
and nnreotios upon the
tern.” Under this law a 1
scientific temp« rnnoe-books t
placed in the three
of the State, and
ofti-red for the
subjects of narcoti«*
It is believed by mi
struction o f the youth i
the subjects in qn
f nsion of positive ]
injurious effect*
will lie more
ing the formation i
and averting the
ance than i
tion. The
worth the trial: <
iton has so far
the large results «
The poet wrote (
got bold of
she had a k
why a lot o f;
torsi torn <
ly form, and i‘