THE MYSTIC HOPE. tfThat la this mystic wondrous hopo In me, That, when no star from out tbo darkness born 01es promise of the comlnc of tlio mom: "When all lifo iwerm a jat1ilet mystery Through which t-ir blinded eyes no way can see; When lllneucoiii:-,andllfe-rowHmo&t forlorn, Still dares to laugh tho last dread threat to scorn. .And proudly cries. Death Is not, shall not bef X wonder at myself! Tell mo, O Death, If that thou nil'rt the earth: If "Uust to dust" Shall bo tho end of lovn and hope and strife, yrom what rare land Is blown this IMnir breath That shapes itself to whispers of strong trust, And Mis tho lie If 'tU n Ilo of life! Mluot J. Savage. MY AUNT'S HOUSE. 'Wo were very well off until our nunt. who wanted to do us an ill turn, died, aind left us l'er house. Of course we "were very pleased at first. It was a pretty, rambling placo, with n low veranda quito covered with ivy and roses, and an old fashioned garden, with trim straight borders and neatly kept gravel paths. There were three of us Matthevr Jane and 1. Matthew was a clerk in a lank when ho was younger, hut as our fa- -ther had left us each a little sum of money when ho died wo persuaded Matthew to leave his work, for ho had never been strong, and now that ho was getting elderly wo could not benr to see him roming back palonnd tired from his desk in tho evening. Wo wero very happy together. Wo had n nice garden to our "house, where Matthew spent most of his "time, and though wo lived in a small -way it never occurred to us to wish for tmore. But now that this unexpected fitroko of good fortune had befallen us wo began to consult what wo should do. "I think wo had better livo in tho 3iou.se ourselves," said Jane. "Tenants awe always a trouble, and it would bo so aiico to have that pretty place." Jauo is quite young hardly more 'than -10 and it is necessary to check her when sho is too forward in giving her opinion; but Matthew is always very .lenient with her, and ho said at once, "Yes, tho garden would bo very pleas .ant in the summer, and wo should have jao rent to pay." I always have to think for them both, and 1 spoke up decidedly: "Thero could .not bo a inoro foolish idea. Livo in it, i indeed! What should wo want with a groat placo like that for dust and mica to run riot in? Wo must let it of course, and tho rent will make a nice little ad dition to our income!" I aui tho eldest, nnd I say it without prido I have moro common sense than Ixith the others put together; therefore thoy generally fall in with my opinion, jeven though they may not altogether xtgreo with me. "Lot us go nnd look at it," said Mat thow, -'unit then wo can decide what to lo for tho best." I Qty aunt's house stands about thro utiles out of tho town, in a pleasant lit tlo hamlet; a branch lino runs out past it, bo that it would bo a most convenient placo for a gentleman of business. It certainly looked very pretty on that anmmer afternoon, and I could almost ocho Juno's wish that wo should make it onr homo, but I know bettor than to in dulge such thoughts, and turned my mind to practical considerations. "Lot .tm go over it," I said, "and see what ro tpairs it will want." "Thero is something wrong with tho water pipes evidently," said Matthew, jib ho pointed to a largo pool in tho mid dle of tho kitchen floor. "Yes, they must bo thoroughly looked to, of course, and 1 think tho wholo Vplaco must bo painted and papered; it will nover let whilo it looks so dingy as it does now." "I must say tho rooms are very small," aaid Juno. "Don't you think while tho workmen are here they might knock down tho partition and make a nico drawing room." I generally snub Jane nt once; It an swern'best in tho end; but this remark lind so much to justify it that I could 'not but listen to hor, and Matthew took aip tho idea eagerly. Well done. Juno!" he said. "That would bo u grand improvement: but if wo throw that piece of tho passage into tho drawing room how shall wo got xound to tho dining room?" "Wo must mako another passage," said Jane decisively. "Yes, but wo cannot mako n passage -without a placo to mako it in." I had been silent so long only bocnuso 2. had been revolving something in my mind. "'Listen to me a moment," I wild, "Wo will curry out your idea, Jane, but with nn addition. Wo will throw tho jpassago into tho drawing room and run tip an outside corridor, with French win dows ojwning into thu sitting rooms." "Capital!" they both exclaimed at once, and tho matter was settled. Wo agreed not to employ an architect, lint to ongago a working builder to car ry out tho plan under our own direc tions. It was it much ploasanter way of doing it; tliero was no estimato to frighten us, for wo determined to take one thing at a timo, and only go as far ;aa wo found it necessary. It was a con stant amusement to go over to tho houso oind boo how things wero getting on, and il.think we both agreed with Matthuw 'when ho said, "Keally, I Bhnll bo quito sorry when tho work is done." It was not so pleasant, howover, wheu the bill came in. How It had mounted up ho enormously wo could not tell, but tho hum total fairly staggered us, 1 un dertook to write to the builder and de mand an explanation, but wheu it cumo wo could understand it less than tho bill itelf. "I think wo had butter put it into a lawyer's bunds," said Mutthuw. To this, howover, I would not givo my teonmmt, "Wo bhnll only Iomi more in UUocud," I nald. "Wo must nay an in .daUment now, and when wo liavo let it wo tutu pay Mm mst out of tliu ivnl." Whwi wo liavo vi Itl" Tho wordu 'Nuwed Into k household iliruo Utfgro lOtttt Johki4 fw day urrlvt'd, Wo put mi judvofUj-tniieut in fcovorul und (HMttiy jmjojiJo iviuui lo tx Hi nut ll-oy u im puna oltjtotlnii or nlUfr to mukw. tome too far from tho town, and some too near; some wanted moro bedrooms, und somo oven .disliked our dcllghtlnl corridor. "Very pretty! Oh, yes, very pretty indeed!" said ono lady ns wo pointed it out to her; "but it is n perfect wilder new of cold drnughts!" We were silent: we could not deny it. Mntthew said something rather feebly about cocoanut matting, but tho lady left without listening to him. Things were getting very desperate when one day a gentjemun called and I lid that ho had heard that wo had a houso to let. Instantly wo wero all in tho highest state of excitement. Jane and I flew to put on our bonnets, and Matthew reached down his hat and stick. Tho gentleman told us that his name was Wilton; that ho had seen our adver tisement in tho paper, nnd that ho want ed n houso some little way out of the town, as his children woro not very strong. "How many children have you?" in quired Matthew. "Oh, several," replied Mr. Wilton. "Is this the house? It looks very pretty." Wo had become so accustomed to hear tho house found fault with that our hearts warmed to him at these words, and wo parted mutually pleased, after showing him over tho place. Wo heard from him in a day or two, accepting our terms. Our house was let! Wo could scarcely believe our good fortune. Wo took nn early opportunity of walk ing out in that direction, and paying a call on a friend who lived in a house not far from ours. Tho conversation soon turned upon our new tenants, and Miss Caxton's words confirmed our worst fears. "I am so sorry you have got such a tribo of rampaging children into your house," sho said. "I wiuj going by the other day, and heard a great noise, nnd thero wero two boys crawling over tho roof of the corridor. Their mother was leaning out of tho window trying to reach them with a broom, and as ono of them got away from her ho put his foot through tho glass. You nover heard such a sot out as they mado in your life." Our hearts sank to zero. Tho Wiltons had taken tho houso by tho year, nnd wo did not seo how to get rid of them at a moment's notice; yet beforo six months much moro a year had elapsed our poor house would bo a ruin, and our garden a wilderness. It was not alto gether with disappointment, therefore, that in a few months' timo wo heard that Mr. Wilton had decided to leavo tho neighborhood, und would bo much obliged if wo would release him from our agreement. Wo gladly consented, though with a little outward show of reluctance. But wo could not quito understand why tho Wiltons wero so eager to bo off. They had had tho houso remarkably cheap, considering their requirements, nnd it seemed ungrateful, to say tho least. They wero no sooner gone, however, than wo found out tho causo of their haste. Our houso was a wreck. Tho term may seem a strong ono, but it is not too strong for tho truth. Both pa per and paint were practically gone, tiles off tho roof, windows broken, pipes out of order everything was a ruin where once all had been so neat and beautiful. Wo watched tho builders at work this timo with very different feelings. Thero was no pleasuro in it now, nnd though tho bill was not so heavy aa it had been beforo it mndo no difference, for thero . were no funds to meet it. ' What was to bo done? Matthew Bug nested that wo should sell out somo of our capital, but that was clearly im possible, for wo should then havo littlo left to live upon. It was a difficult ' point, but as mfunl I hit upon a solution. , Wo would mortgage tho houso! Mat thew did not altogether like tho plan, but, us ho hud no better one to propose, ! j I carried tho day. Tho house was mort ' gaged, nnd both bills paid off. j ' Moid ha passed away, and still tho houso remained unlet. Ono gentleman was very much inclined to take it, but thero was no coach house, and though wo woro sorely tempted to build ono wo i dreaded bricks nnd mortnr too much to ' venture, unless he would havo taken tho houso for at least suven years. A widow lady offered to take it if wo would let her" havo it freo for tho first two years, nnd wo wero rather sorry afterward that wo had not closed with the pro posal, for thero seemed no chauco of anything else turning up. Meanwhile wo had to reduce our exjionsos daily to meet tho drain of tho interest. "Tho next thing will bo that wo shall not bo able to pay our debts," said Mat thew gloomily, but it is always tho dark est hour before tho dawn, und only a few days aftor ho made tho remark wo hnd an offer that bade fair to removo our difficulties. A gentleman and his wife camo down to stay at an hotel in tho town and look about for a house. Di rectly I heard of it I got Matthew to go with mo to call upon them, for 1 felt that such an opportunity might not oc cur again. Mr. and Mrs. Do Couroy woro most pleasant people; ono could see at onco that thoy had been accus tomed to move in tho very best society; thero was an ease and grace about thorn that contrasted pleasantly with our local manners. Thoy received us most kindly und mado an appointment to see tho house. "I can hardly hope that thoy will tako it," I said, as wo walked home; but con-, trary to my expectations thoy wero en chanted with it, and fell in with all our wishes with tho most surprising readi ness, I did not wish to say anything about a repairing lease, for I was afraid they might not like it, hut Matthew had been so alarmed by our previous advent uro that ho insisted wn it. Mr. Do Courcy was mod gentlemanly, I must say, "1 should havo pro)ced it myself if you had not thought of U," ho wild, with one uf tho Ihiws of IiU that mndo tno fed that my Imnuot was very fchubby nnd that tlii'iv wun darned placo in my Kuiiday huwl. Hmih tolitouuM iMiiiitNl a like return, and when lio luked lu if it would initio ny tUlfi'ivnco if lit) Mhl the nmt ywuly lktM of huiu tol ly, tw ( would lk h lfoo4 dual moro coim-nluut Id IiIiii, wd . i . i i i. . i. 1 1 i. ' COUUi omy rupijr mux it wuum uiuku iiu differencontnll. "It will oo nwkwaru, all tno same, said Matthew to mo afterward. "We havo had to go into debt already, nnd if I wo are to get no rent for a j-ear wo shall have to go in deeper still." "I know that, but what could we do We might havo lost them altogether if we had refused, nnd with such excellent references our money is safe enough." When a thing is done there is no use in discussing it; wo had got our tenants, and I think wo wero glad to get them at any price. No people could havo been more pleasant than thoy were; they made no difficulties about anything and were always friendly and cordial whenever wn'saw them. Again and again we congratulated ourselves on our good fortune. Wo wero very glad all tho samo when the year drew to a close, for of course wo had been obliged to pay tho interest as usual, and jis wo had only our regulai income witli which to meet it wo had gono into debt on all sides. "The year will bo up in a fortnight now," I said, when Matthew was groan ing one day over our unpaid bills. The next day was fine and bright, and 1 proposed that wo should go out and call ui)on our tenants. Wo thoroughlj enjoyed our walk; the pleasantness of tho day, added to tho near prospect of relief from our difficulties, raised nil our spir its, und we chatted gayly along tho road until tho houso cumo in sight. "I think they might keep curtains iD tho windows," said Jano as wo reached the gate. "Nonsense, Jane!" I replied sharply. "You aro always finding fault about something or other; no doubt it is tho latest fashion to havo no curtains." "Tho houso does look rather odd, though," said Matthew; "in fact" He broke off suddenly, and quickening his pace went up to the dining room win dow and looked in. Jane and I followed, and pressed our faces against tho glass. Tho room was bare! Not a stitch of furniture was left; car pets, curtains, all woro gono. Jano burst into tears. "Jano, how stupid you aro!" I ex claimed angrily, but more because of tho growing dread at my heart than that 1 really thought her stupid. "Of course they aro house cleaning." Matthew said nothing. Ilo went up nnd tried tho door; it was open, and we rushed in. Tho empty rooms echoed to the sound of our feet; tho bare walls seemed to mock our misery: our tenants had run away, and wo wero ruined! Whatever Matthew's faults aro I must ndmit that thero aro sparks of nobility in his nature When we had proved be- i yond a doubt that our fears woro cor- rect Ins first words wero, "JMow wo must think how to meet our creditors." i "Mntthew," I cried, in a sudden burst of remorso, "it has all been my fault. I Oh, I wish wo hud nover had tho houso at all; but you shall do just what you think best now." "Very well," said Matthew, "we will sell tho houso and pay off tho mortgage, and then wo will sea how wo stand with tho world." I felt it was right, and I said not a word to hinder him, but it was not tho affair of amomont; nor when tho houso was sold at last wero wo in any better position than wo wero lasfore; for in ad dition to tho back debts which still had to bo paid thoro wero tho legal expenses. I was not at all surprised toseo streaks of gray in my hair, nor to notico how many new lines had appeared on Mat thew's forehead. As for Jano sho cried all day, which only mado mo cross. 1 could seo no way out of our troubles, and I did not oven try to adviso Mat- thow. The sky was so dark mid gloomy that it seemed impossiblo for any light to appear. "I supposo wo shall havo to go through the bankruptcy court?" said I bitterly ono day. "No," said Matthew; "thero is another way, and I want to consult you about it. If we sell off somo of our capital wo can payoff all of our debts." "But how shall wo live?" I exclaimed. "Wo must tako a littlo cottage and keep no servants, and I must try to find somo work as a copying clerk. I am afraid that is all I am good for now." "Matthew! You a copying clerk again? I cannot let you do it." "Thero is no other way," said Mat thew cheerfully, "and so wo must make tho best of it." . I said no more; no, not oven when 1 found that after all our debts had been paid wo should not havo onough to livo on, unless Jano and I found somo em ployment. I know that Matthew was right, and that it was tlioonly honorablo thing left for us to do. Jano has gono out us companion to an old lady, and 1 tako in needlework und keep our tiny cottage in order for Matthew and my eelf. Wo aro not quito unhappy, in spito of all our troubles, but wo feel tho break up of our homo keenly, and when I seo Matthow como in, worn out and weary from his scantily paid labor, nnd think of tho happiness ho used to enjoy aa ha went about helping thoso in poverty nnd distress, I feel that tho best wish I can liostow on nny ono who has an aunt is that if sho should dio sho may not leavo them her houso. M. B. Whetingin Bos ton Truo Flag. Oriel" of Tliue Measure. The division of tho day into twenty four hours originated with tho Egyp-, tlnns, then passed to Babylon and Qreoce, Why divided into twenty-four instead j of somo other number of hours it is im- I IKXssiblo to say. Tho Chinese reckon twelve hours to tho day und nlghtovi deutly making their hour to correspond with tho timo of tho apparent passagy of tho Bun over ono of the twelvo rodiacal signs, St, Louis Republic. An unprincipled French girl dellber. ately appropriated boven of Whtttler'4 ikmuiim, whluh ho tian-lated Into lutr own iungiiugo and iiuiixhI them to Imi printed as her own In PurU pniwra mid uinga Ktlltw, When tho fraud was ilUuoveivd by mi Anifrii'aii Uo Mdly dwiJun d (hut Wlilillvr liud tdolt'ti tho iKwnmfiom her. m) WWW CTAIflC 'Ull UlUll Playing the Game of Law for Many Millions. SENSATIONAL WILL CONTESTS. Tin- Ailoplnl Son of Mrn. Ilopklns-Scarlrs I'ri-ptirlii lor h Hitter I.ecul I'lght. Claim on thti Sriuniio i:taln A (ir-al Scotch Claim. Ol all t ho complicated cases in modern tvill trials the ea-e of Timothy Hopkin miinsl Kdwuril K Sear lex bids fair to prove the most complicated, nnd If, at N now threatened, it brings out the Inside history of the Sout hern Pacific railroad for MltS IIHI'KINS-SKAItt.lCS. year past, the public will n dozen cer- tainly be siirleited with Kimsational iiu- tails No four men ever worked more se cretly and thoroughly us one in every tliinu from the election of a United States M-nulorund theexpendiii!' of $100,0011.000, down to the nomination of a congressman or the disehurue ol aulerk, then the famous HIk Kour or California Stanford, Crocker Hopkins and Huntington Crocker anil Hopkins are dead. Stanford is in the United States senate, and now .Mr Collis Potter Huntington is mightily interested in the great will case, for if .Mr. Seniles holds the vast estate lie is ex pected to vote witli .Mr. Huntington and tints maintain his position us controller of the Southern Pacific All the cliuracters ol t he drama are personally and histori cally liitere-sting. Murk Hopkins, creator ol tin; vast fortune now to he fought for, was a rugged New Knglunder and un "Argonaut of 4!" in Calilornia. In four years lie returned and married his cousin, Mary Krai ices Sherwood, then went again to California and in dim time became the famous millionaire and railroad king. .... ,, , 1STo .,. r,.r,.lvP(i lltle nlUer of Sio.ooo.ooo, or thereabout. flint was the lowest estimate of it then, and some think it has more than doubled wince. Kdwin K Searles is also a Yankee, but of type so different from bluff .Mark Hop- TIMOTHY UOl'KtNS. kins that he lust-muted Hie widow. TU was ami I reserved, refined and cultured,, and ranked high in New York as a deco rator and household artist, wheu ill health drove him to California in 1SS1 He was employed by .Mrs Hopkins, whose prevail ing passion it was to build and furnish line house, and in IK.sT they were married. Several folks nose were thereby put out of joint, including twocousins of .Mrs. Hop-kltm-Searles. old Indies who had no support save a pension granted by liur. Hut tho main objector was one Timothy Hopkins, born Timothy Nolan His father, an Irish laborer, was drowned in California and his mother died ol griet. tor she had la-en ship wrecked on t tie way to California and lost her only child beside Tim, ami suffered greatly, only to laud and litul that her hus band was no more Timothy Nolan was a bright boy. however, and was taken by tho childless Mr and Mr Mark Hopkins. In time they grew to like him so well that they gave him t heir name, reared and edu cated him in line style Imagine, then, t he astonishment of all parlies when the will of Mr. Hopkins Searles was opened and it was found that every dollar was given to her "beloved hus band." There wasn't the slightest men tion of any great charity or of any of her dependent relatives, ami only this legal mention of the adopted Tim. XI MIIS. ANN DKAKK SKAMAN. "The omission to provitlu for my adopted on. Timothy Hopkins, Is Intentional and not occasioned by accident or mistake." It 1 the exact language prescribed by the fctatuu- of California for disinheriting a natural lielr Then "tho uelglilioni did talk,1 It wu remembered that Mr. Searlv was but forty .uaiid.Mr. Hopkins twenty year older when they married, slid that Timothy Nolan llopkln had prow-nted. Nuvurtheli'VrimH'y had rviulvrd quite a hnndomt) advance from Mr. IlupMi", nnd when lit) man led a nievuof tliu widow kha MvMiiilid him tHW.uw and dt-isliil It hit wtft) u nmlillU'ilit linili-h.ll iul grnuiiiU t Hall Manm, uuid . Weill) liilU Iiiuii Han J'r.iiH'isw-Mlil in Im4viwi fl, lW.UJ ll miw Hl iiiwdu ifioiMirMruf Uv Southern Pacillc. with a salary of $10,000 a y Tim wns In. Inpan when hr heard of his foster mother's death, and hurried home nt once. He became nn object of interest to the California -ml of .the great railroad combination, its they naturally Inferred that .Mr Searles would continue the policy of his late wife in sustaining .Mr Hunting ton, while young Hopkins would vote the stock otherwise. And the million of slock belonging to .Mark Hopkins' estate are am f.le to decide the control Now. .Mr Tim Hopkins hints that If Mr Searles cloe.s not surrender, he (Hopkins) will publish the secret history or tin- mail. Including a thousand literally stunning details. If he does the lovers or gossip will certainly ho entertained, and the trial will be the fea ture of the decade Second In interest to the Hopkins rase, and but barely .second, is the suit brought against Laurence Drake and others by 14:1 persons claiming to be the uatural heirs of Mrs. Ann Drake Seaman She died In 1S78, leaving fl.OOlUKXI wortli of real estate in New York city, about fcJ.iMKl.OUU worth in Chicago mid perhaps S-MKMiuo of personal property, alxiut three-fourth ol which she had willed to her second cousin, Ijilirelice Drake. She was very proud of her descent from the great navigator. Sir Kranci Drake, and tor many years before her death, at the age or eighty three, was ec centric tot lie verge or insanity All the other Drakes received something, but the Seaman and other relative were left out, the natural result of which wits a suit. Kifty witnesses were examined, but tho surrogate finally decided that "undue in fluence" was not proved. Notice of appeal was filed, but nothing further was done. Now the Seainaiis come forward witli two startling allegations that t he alleged will wits a forgery and that their attorney was bribed by the Drakes to let the appeal go by default. And that attorney was no less a person than Smith M. Kly, once mayor of New York, and now dead. It is conclusively proved, in lact admitted by Ills legal rep resentatives, that lie received a heavy fee from Laurence Drake, but it is claimed JlHIN WILSON that this was not a bribe, that it was merely to pay him for assisting in a speedy settlement after the appeal was abandoned liy the contestants Ail the real estate is tied up by injunctions, all who have bought or leased are in a quandary, and threatening letter are Hying about. One or tlir.se hints at a murder. It was received by Lawyer George W. Wilson, counsel inr the contestants, and reads, "Take care you do not follow Townseud." Townsend was the lawyer found dead last November at the foot of the Palisades, near Weehawken After a searching in quiry the jury decided that he had com mitted suicide, though there were suspi cions of murder, and it now turns out that he was to have been an important witness for the contestants It is hard to believe that any one interested in the will would consent to murder, but $t.00i),000 is a great deal of money, and some men get very much excited at the prospect of gaining or losing so much Some very queer testimony was Intro duced at t lie first trial, showing Unit Mrs. Seaman erected monuments to hor dead dogs, scattered gold pieces on the parlor floor when visitors called, regarded Mr. Drake a t lie owner ol her house und her elf as tenant, and believed that she could JIKS. lim.l.K CALLAfillAN. float on water at will without sinking. Nevertheless the surrogate decided that she was "competent." Mr. Uiitrence Drake, the principal beiiellciary under tho will, now resides in F.urope. In a secluded gleu in the Adirondack mountains live an old Scotch farmer, a sort of hermit, named .toll it Wilson, who claims that his daughter, Mr. Belle Cal laghan, of New York city, is the rightful heir to the vast estate lu Scotland now oc cupied by the Karl of Airlie. And the evi dence he adduces has proved siilllcient to take a shrewd lawyer to Scotland to prose cute the claim. In TM Id great-grandmother owned the estate anil made a will concerning it so much I freely admitted by all. She Intrusted the will to her brother, the Karl of Airlie. The troublous times came on the "rebellion of 1745" and the earl have ever sit.ee held the estate. More than one Scotch lawyer, however, has hinted that the will left the property to "The oldesttlatighter of eacli succeeding family of the testator's direct Hue." In the present generation that daughter Is Mrs. Belle Calliighan, daughter of John Wilson. Fifty year ago, just before he left Dundee for America, a lawyer thero offered to prosecute the claim for a big contingent fee, but .Mr Wilson refused, Ilo was a rellgioiisenthiisiast.ancl is now a hermit and devotee. Hi daughter U moro worldly and wants the property, hut timo ami prescription areagaiuxt her Uixt mi the list, and Intereotlng as a brnutiful "fake," it the claim or Mrs. KIIai Iv Knight, of : 1'utiiiim avenue, lirtHiklyu, that sin- had recvivtxl a it-gsoy of over f,uu,uu from the i.ute of Lord Anuitii, lu Swiltaitil Thu hhUIU wvrtt o biuviiltiiiM i list Un hrwiht wr ti m1mI till iliMimlltw iirMiil t4d reooritt iiivIiik Hint ''Sir Unbiht" wtu formurjy (he hum fxnuri itubililHiikt- wemsu III Aitu'rt, Mild itbPHL.li fiiu tJUiid dV tUrwl tliHl unlaid Aiiimii Jf tlltHl. So lUixouU off J f IlKAbl r:, Tim Cen-eles Coll of WorrJ. Ponsonby A load seams to bo on your liud, Popinjay. Whr.t'.s up? Popinjay 1 am disturbsil ny an arucio have just read. Tho writer proves that in 182 years the earth will bo so ovcrpopula tcd that there will uot Ikj enough food for people to eat. Ponsonby Why should that worry yu You'll be dead by that time. Popinjay Hut how about my great-great-grandchildren JcweTlers' Circular. Very Thoughtful. Simpson Miss Diana, I love you desper ately. I am Louise Ono moment, sir! Please let mo givo you this fauteuil 1 keep it handy for such occasions, for I do liato to see so many gentlemen ruin their trousers by kneeling on tho floor! Munsey's Weekly. Did Hn Cct It? A number of young men were standing on tho corner of the street the other even Itur relntimr their various experiences with girls. Finally ono ot ttionumuer.wiio eiui. tered, said: "You know M-Mu-Mary IIoll riglit, b-boys?" "Yes, yes," said two of tho number. "W-we-well, I had her out on the p-po-pond rowing tho o-oth-other night and I a-as-asked her for a k-ki-kiss." "Did you get it" asked one. " W-w-wait a min ute. 1 says if you d-do-dou't let mo do it I'll p-pull the p-plugout of the b-boat and d-drowu you." "I'll bet you got it then, didn't you" said another. "W-wait minute. You li-liaven't heard of her b-bc-Ing drowned, have your" Lawrence Amer ican. A Iteini-dy. Fitzdude How are you progressing with that .Miss Hute? Hits she consented to bo yours!" Smallpay No! Confound it. There's ... niu,.w.l 1 Ht. win- ti vminrr idint.. who nil uu.ii(.i,tv. ... .'."j, n , Is the heir to a million. I wisli lie would realize that his presence is entirely super fluous. Fitzdude I saw an advertisement lu the paper the other day that ought to interest you. Smallpay What was it ? Kifdndu Snmethiiu- truiirauteed to ro- Lmove superfluous heir. America. IllvilU. Little Barbara has a brother Max, who is her rival as well. The other day she said to her mother: "Mother, is Max older than I am?" Her mother said lie was. "Well," she responded, in a tone of emi nent displeasure and disappointment, "well, that hoy beats me in everything, and he has heated me iu boruin', too." Washington Star. A Very Vulirar Joke "Was there much of an attendance at Mrs. Soshle's reception?" asked a depart ment clerk of another. "It was a regular carbuncle." "What do you mean?" "Why. a carbuncle is a groat gathering, isu't It?" Washington Post. An Object I.ckhoii. High Priced Doctor You are now con valescent, and all you need is exercise. You should walk ten miles a day, sir: but your walking should have an object. Patient All right, doctor; I'll travel around trying to bo tow enough to pay your hill, Puck. Impossible, to Itettirit It. "Say, Binks, 1 came in to seo If you could let me have my umbrella back." "I'd be glad to, Snicker, but tho fact is Jiinpson, who borrowed it from rno, has lent it to Paxon, and Paxou's gono to Eu rope." Harper's Bazar. Not Whut Yt'iiH Mxpeotmt. "Well, Kenniboy, whom do you love?" asked Kcnniboy's father. After a monieut of deep thought the an swer came: "Kenniboy," he said. Harper's Young People, Overheard lu 1 tO'-i. "That's it," said Columbus, as land first broke upon his visiou. "That Is America, " ".ortu or soutur asKeu ins mate. "That I can't say until I've seen the map," returned tho explorer. Puck. A Ti-itimpai-nnt I.I. "Boy, I read in your eyes that you hav told a lie." "Papa, that Is impossible. You cannot read without spectacles." Texas Slftings. Hh Earned IIU Name. "Why is It that men call you tne re ligious editor?" "Because I observe the holidays so relig iously." Light. The llurghir of the Future, The burglar of the. future conies Ailown thu croovu of time, In broadcloth clail mid globsy bat ' A graduate of crime. The very latest thins in boots, Tho newest ktylu in ties; Ills uolu get up will (111 the duds With envy and surprise He'll wlpu UU HhotM upon the nuU With air urban- mid bland, And leave IiU hat nnd overcoat And .tick uH)n tho btnnd Ile'll mako a (-raciout boiv and say, "I hope I don't Intrude," Ere be will enter for lul die If folk should thiuk blm ruila. He'll bs our prduit when he take Our wjwu and diamond pm To ktaaV without apoloje 4 lU'd think u Krtovoun niii. He'll nk iHtliieJy for loan, And ny. "j tmar I'm rash Kxeuvi hh, nr -owt'l iiiutlon It," The "I'lltt iiu Moopt our c U, Iiu tlUrrM frwu tbo bad ot I pat Tlit) future' g,iuK lo b T will alum im ikuuro ioa .1 Otwth ti.- ttjrbM u k. TkiL iuw4uil (biff XlM Ufehit in tljam. Tar I toi.'t ilw im urn' mr Mil, Uulifc-t il-rtJ ihMiu.. -Ku'lmni.