The Oregon scout. (Union, Union County, Or.) 188?-1918, October 29, 1891, Image 7

Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page. It is also available as plain text as well as XML.

    Kv days am dear, nnd ennnnr )w imui
Though in deep grief we cower ami cUnetodeath'
ho lias not known, In living on, a breath
i un 01 some giaunes mat lifers rapture proved!
If I havo felt that in this rainbow world
The vi-ry U-st was but n preface gken
To tell of Infinite Rtvntor tints in heaven,
And, life or uo, heaven yet would be unfurled,
I did hello the soiU wldo joys of earth,
.And feelings deep as lights that dwell in sens
i.'.'au heaven Itself outlove such denths a t
Lite on! Life, holds more than we dream of
worm.
lloso Hawthorne Lathrop in The Century
AN EXCHANGE.
Everylxxly in New York who ia .niv
body knows the wealthy, Kcncrona, hi,
jii table and clever Mr. Obod Carhart and
his clmrtniiif; family. They had lived
ninny years in Lexington avenue, and I
Jim glad to know that Ihev aiT living
there to this day. The Carliart mansion
is as well known, a.i hnnhonie in archi
tecture and as grandly furni.shcd as is the
best house in Fifth avenue. .Mrs. Carliart
is known throughout the city for her
liberal hospitality and her unstinted char
ity. They have had but one child, n
daughter, a most accomplished girl, a
cultivate musician, and a young lady of
unexceptionable manners and bearing. If
Mia Henrietta had a fault (if fault it can
lie called), it was u fondness for harmless
mi-chief.
The Carharts frequently give very de
lightful parties, chiefly of the musical
Mirt, Miss Carhart leing, as I havo said,
a competent musician. And it had hap
pened that Jlrs. Carhart. had issued cards
on Monday last for a musical t-oiree on
the following Thursday. And among
the invitations were one for my friend,
Charles Crackles, and one for me. Crackles
had been rather more intimate with the
family than I was, and it is tssiblo that
my being favored with occasional invita
tions from the Carharts was by reason of
my being a very perfect performer on the
triangle, and therefore, in some sort, a
desirable addition to the ordinary musical
cntertainient.
The Carhnrts. notwithstanding that
they did not much care to lie very inti
mate with the Bogey family, would not
felight their neighbor, and when the cards
were sent out for the Thursday a card of
invitation was sent to Mr. Bogey. And
thus it was that I come to narrate the
mischievous work of our valued friend,
Miss Henrietta, who thought it would be
a matter of some aiinisenient if she
changed the invitations, sending to Mr.
Bogey the one intended for Mr. Crackles
Jind the one lor myself (which was done
by sending both invitations to the wrong
iiumlicrs), and also sending one to Pro
fessor Toil, who had been invited by Mr.
Bogey to hold forth on the tenqieranco
question on the same evening of the Car
.hart party, so that Crackles and I, when
we went to No. 1 1 ,"(. would 1 iroinf in
the Carhart soiree, whereas wo should be
.going to the temperance and total absti
nence meeting. On the other hand, Pro
fessor Tod supposed that by going to the
opposite house, at No. 11, "5, "5, ho would be
going to address a large nunilier of dis
ciples on the nlisorbing subject of tem
perance, which was the hobby equally of
Mr. Bogey and Professor Tod"
Accordingly, and as innocent as two
"lambs of the first year," wo went
together in firit dress to the Bogey resi
dence instead of to that of the Carharts.
As we alighted from the carriago I ob
served thai carriages were every moment
dashing up to the door in quick succes
sion, while there was scarcely any light
dout the premises at No. 1153. Strange!
Still worse, however, and more dis
couraging, was the glance I got (as I
entered the narrow hall) of the jiersons
who were hanging alxrt the staircase
Jind the parlor doors. i v, some of tho
quests had overcoats on, many of them
had not leen shaved for ages and not one
that I saw had patronized the hairdresser.
Very remarkable this! But we were
there, and we went into the hall, and
scarcely had Crackles and I entered be
fore we were violently seized by four
solemn, and I may add seedy, jiersons,
headed by a man with a white cravat,
who informed me that he was Mr. Bogey
(I had never before laid eyes on Mr.
Bogey) and that this was the committee
nnd that we were rather late. What
this meant 1 could not possibly divine.
Crackles and 1 weie hurried upstairs
into a dingy room with one gas burner in
it. where we were desired lo Iiav our
coats and hats. Another singular fact!
The parlors below were evidently full of
guests, but there were not any other
coats or hats about the darkened room.
"Wo, however, laid nide our overcoats
nnd hats, nnd it seemed very much to
embarrass these worthy ersons when
they saw us in dre-s coats, embroidered
shirt fronts and white silk tit's, and be
held us drawing on white, kid gloves. I
give you my word that sonio of them
wore woolen gloves.
One of the committee here inquired of
me how were all the folks at Mudhani. I
could not see any particular fun or wit
in that question; but the gentleman, ap
parently meaning it as a joke, I smiled
grimly nnd said: "That is good very
good, indeed ghul to know you, sir."
"Whereat the inquiring mind of that
memberof the committee seemed puzzled
and even disturbed, and rather to shrink
back into himself as a thing subdued.
Another member then asked if I was
ready, to which I replied that I was. In
this manner we entered the parlors.
Horror of horrors There were rows of
benches nnd chairs at regular intervals,
occupied by jverbons in the lowest condi
tion of eeediness. Tho ladies wore bon
nets and high dresses, and tho gentlemen
wore overcoats. Most remarkable, musi
cal 6oiree this! The rooms were dimly
lighted, and the whole affair woro a most
dreary appearance.
Solemnly up tho center nislo I was
marched at the head of a procession of
tho committee (Crackles, being alarmed,
had remained at tho junior door), up to a
httlo platform nt the iipjicr end of tho
l.-oom, on which platform was a table, be
hind which wont several chairs in a semi
circular form, nnd on tho table ttood n
pitcher of water and a tumbler, What
in thenamoof common wuiao could bo tho
meaning of this? There was not even n
piano ut tho room. Queor musical mrty,
certainly I Mr. Bogey motioned mo to bit
down. Always deeiriTUb of avoiding dau
ber to my triunglo, I drew it from my
ioekut anil laid it on tho tnl-la, Ureal up
plain! followed this Innocent action,
jilucuitf u trlnnijlo on u tulle, lmt beared
Bad I (lone HO when Prrrvrta-rdr In
the assembly rose and took a distant sur
vey of tlie triangle. I then was required
to mount the step of the little platform
to get into a chair, when the whole meet
ing broke out in a fit of the most enthusi
astic applause. I trembled. Always
innocent and confuting. I had suffered
myself to be led. in white kids and fine
clothing, and with my hair carefully
dressed, into the midst" of a society of
decidedly deranged jvrsons. 1 rose to
take a handkerchief from my ptx'ket.
The crowd again applauded, and I luistily
sat down again.
"Our friends are giving you an enthu
siastic welcome, sir," said Mr. Bogev.
"Yes," said I. "thank you." And, de
voted ns I am to art! the heroic idea
seized me to sue my triangle. I re
moved it from the table, fresh applause
following that movement, nnd I imme
diately dropKil the instrument, upon
which I heard a droll little man, leaning
over to six-ak to a young lady in spec
tacles, whisper to her friend" "Ho will
use that thing as an illustration: I have
heard of his doing so. It is verv inter
esting."
My listening was. however, interrupted
by a question from Mr. Bogev. "Have
you your notes with you? or iierhntw yon
do not use notes?" I answered that I
could not very well perforin music, and
esiiecially the triangle, without notes, an
answer which seemed terribly to puzzle
oir. uogey; nut unit gentleman went on
to say, consulting his watch, that it was
late and was I ready to beirin? or would
I desire to take something before I beean.
and he pointed significantly to the pitcher
on the table.
I, thinking to gain time, if nothing
else, said: "Thank you, I would like to
have a glass of sherry."
A shudder ran through every member
ot cue committee. "A what, sir? ' in
quired Mr. Bogev.
"A glass of sherry," I replied inno
cently, "or claret, or hraudy and water,
whichever is nearest your hand." Great
consternation aniienred to arise anions
tlie crowd ut my very ordinary remark,
which, I could perceive, was being re
peated from bench to leneh.
"Brandy, sir," exclaimed Mr. Bogev.
"Are you mocking us" "Well," said
I, "anything; I am not particular. You
asked me to take, something to drink, and
I said wine or brandy, or a drop or two
of old Bouillon anything of that kind
will do." WhcreuiKiu the lunatics lx?gau
to hiss me, and one gentleman among the
crowd called out that the man (meaning
me) was a fool.
Tho jxtiple rose from their seats. The
utmost confusion prevailed. Tho noise
became threatening. Mr. Bogey got up
nnd, in a very severe tone and with a
terrible frown, addressed me personally,
saying: "Your conduct demands ex
planation, Mr. Tod." "Tod yourself,"
said I, now positively angrv. "Who is
Toil? Hero! Crackles! Where arovou?
What is all this about Tod ?"
"Can't say," answered Crackles, and,
guided by his voice. I saw him at the
other end of the room and heard him de
clare that they did not appear to have so
much as a "tod" in the whole establish
ment. "Why, can't you see, Uo Cor
dova, that this is a tcmjiemuco meeting?
Wo have evidently got into the wrong
house." "Certainly," exclaimed Mr.
Bogey, "you were, or, at least, Professor
Hiram Tod, of Mudhani, Conn., was to
address this meeting here to-night on the
glorious subject of temperance and total
abstinence."
"A temperance meeting!" cried I.
"Certainly, sir," replied "Mr. Bogey.
"Now. who are you, if you please?"
"Never mind who I am," i" retorted. "I
am not Tod." "No! no!" exclaimed a tall,
thin and solemn man who had just come
into tne room nnd strode straight up to
the platform with the air of a man who
had a right to that place and took it. "1
am," raid the man. "Professor Toil, of
Mudh am. Conn., and what I havo gono
through this night nobody would scarcely
believe."
Well. I need not say that neither
Crackles nor I waited for any further
explanation, but made our way to tho
street door with the utmost celerity,
where I saw the Carhart mansion in a
blaze of light, and, understanding now
how matters stood, and that I had been
undergoing torture throiiL'h my havincr
got into the wrong house, I crossed over
the way, and Crackles and I spent tho
remainder of the evening with the intel
lectual Carharts.
It nppearsthat the trials through which
Crackles and I had passed were as noth
ing in comparison with the martyrdom
which that poor creature had undergone
in the refined society of the Carharts,
through his having mistaken the house
by reason of Miss Henrietta's humorous
joke. Because nobody in that company
knew him. everybody had assumed the
privilege of staring at him. The serv
ants, when they ushered him into tho
drawing room, sneered at him becauso
he was not well dressed and had no whitu
kid gloves on.
Never having lieen in New York le
fore, and living as he did in tho nodoubt
classic shades of Mudhani, in Connecti
cut, he regarded much of what ho saw,
with reluctance, as proof of the eccentric
manners of a strange people, whoso de
generacy he deplored. He blushed when
ho beheld young ladies who woro very
low dresses nnd did not blush. His color
declined when he saw elderly ladies,
whoso cheeks, which weropalo by nature,
had been deeply colored by art; and ho
trembled for his reason us he saw languid
young men dressed to distinction, with
their hair parted in tho middle, lisp tho
most stupid and inane nonsense to young
women, who not only seemed satisfied to
endure it, but even appeared rather to
like it.
And this poor heathen, who had lived
all his life in Mudhani, wished himself
back thero with uJl his heart, as ho re
inenilx'red how plainly and simply tem
perance meetings weie" conducted in his
native village, with eujH of tea, a hymn
or two and an wither by Professor Tod,
And ho wonderm! what on earth all thtio
musical preparations had to do with un
earnest and fioul stirring aptieal not to
drink wino or hiky. So there lie fat
in u corner, while Miss Jlenriotla icr
formed a fantasia on tho piano, ami ho
wondered wlwtull that tiu-ii-llus Umglng
of tin key was alsmt and u hy tho young
lady exerted hcn-'lf to that terrible la
tum, and when the turn wan to bo Ugun,
till hu bruin wn Utwlldpred. So wlu-n
Mi4 Henrietta had IliiUhed ami every,
body hud npplmidud thu iuuu (xiiorm
anco, he thought that now the cry to
which ho was so well accustomed at Mud
ham would immediately resound, and
that the people would with one voice de
mand, "Tod! Tod!" And still wonder
ing where he was to stand nnd speak, he
liegnn clearing his throat and settling hia
cravat, as some public speakers havo the
habit of doing.
Instead of calling for Toil, they, on the
contrary, fell into groujis with their
Kicks turned to Toil, and disposed them
selves to listen to a quartet, which Toil
thought was by long odds the greatest
private riot ho had ever listened to.
And amid the din of the music Tod heard
Miss Henrietta say: "Oh, why is not
Mr. Cordova here? The music only
wants his triangle to be ierfect."
'Perfect?" said Tod to himself. "How
can nil this nonsense advance t 10 sacred
cause of temperance " But imagine the
ieenngs ot t'rolessor Tod when that piece
of music had Ixvn finished. Fancy, if
you can. the horror of that good "ninu
when servants entered the room in n
sort of procession, lcaring ice cream,
cake ousKets, etc.. laden with delicacies,
while another bore a waiter upon whicl
woro decanters containing wines and al
such sinful beverages.
Thunderstriekcn by a sight so melan
choly, the profissor lore it all in silenci
until the servants stopjRil U'foro him
him! tho great apostle of total nbstinenci
with the water of liquid damnation
and u lady inquiring of him, in a soft
insidious voice, if he preferred claret,
champagne or liquor. Had he, then,
been invited to New York only to Ik
ridiculed and insulted? Ho rose. nnd.
thrusting his hands into his waistcoat
his favorite attitude in his nublio nib
dresses he shouted rather than said:
"Look not upon the cup when it is red."
"Dear me !" said the lndv. while every.
body began to gather round the prof etsor,
"you need not have red wine if you don't
like it. Try Chablis or champagne. "
"A vaunt!" said Toil, "I touch not the
accursed thing. Ladies, why was 1
brought hither to perform my "littlo part
in the great movement now going for
ward, if I were not wanted."
"Oh!" cried a lady, "this must lie Mr.
Cordova all the while, and nobody has
asked him to play."' Uion which one
gentleman looked "up into Toil's faco and
projKUinded this timely and sensiblo in
quiry: "Haven't you brought your triangle,
sir?"
"Oh! insult me, ladies. Shamo
A Xaon fctr .Mother.
Ho was cautioned not to tonch the pre
serves, but just so soon as hts mother turned
her back ho viaa at thrm. Iteturnlng, she
niw tho half empty lottln. Catling Willie
and desiring to make, her rebuke particularly
impressive sbo naked:
"Now, Will, if you had a little boy and he
disobeyed you about preserves, what would
you do to him!"
"What would I do! Why, I'd say: 'Hilly,
you can go ami finish that bottle, but If 1
catch you at thorn again I'll wring your
heck."
What could she do? Philadelphia Ti
X Sinew Jujtor,
Our Latest and Greatest Premium Offe
m
mum
CiCLOPM
on
voui
Is it a Christian act to brimr me
from my happy Mudhani home, to find
myself useless and contemned?"
"My goodness, my dear sir," said
another, "we all want to hear you if you
will have tho kindness to U'gin."
"I mil quite reaily, sir," said Mr. Toil,
to which another exclaimed:
"All right, sir, wo desire no better:
where is your triangle?"
"Shame on you," cried Professor Tod,
addressing Mr. Carhart. "Are you the
master of this house?"
"Why, of course I am," said Mr. Car
hart in amazement, and evidently regard
ing me, represented as I was by Mr. Tod,
as an outrageous maniac. "Why, of
course I am."
"Well, then." exclaimed Tod, drawing
himself up, "then let me tell you, Mr.
Uogey
"Ho is mad," shouted Mr. Carhart.
"Mr. Bogey lives over the way. We do
not oven visit, and I do not know him at
nil. Are you Mr. Cordova, the great
amateur performer on tho triangle, or
who tho devil are vou?"
Triangle again cried Tod. "Sir. I
am Professor Tnd. of Mudhani, of whom
you have no doubt read (if you tako The
Mudhani Register or Tho Chiekenborough
Palladium) as a tennieianeo lecturer of
some little fame, I believe, and I received
an invitation from you, or rnther, as it
appears, from Mr. Bogey."
"Oh! 1 will take the good gentleman
over the way," said Mr. Carliart, and ho
did so; and Tixl slept at Mr. Bogey's
that night, vowing that never again
would he bo tempted to visit what ho
called "that sink of iniquity," Now York.
R. J. Do Cordova in New York Star.
IN FOUR VOLUMES.
A Greaf and Wonderful Wtf
OOXTAtSlIS
Friend of Janitor And why don't you
make the little scamps quit sliding down tin
banister!
Janitor Not for tho world would I stop
them. They save nm tho trouble of polishing
the brass railing. Toils Sittings.
A ll-rlinlnitliiK Shot.
Tho following is told of a couple of western
sportsmen. Their names were HolTman and
Cowan, anil l)th wero excellent shots, and
not n littlo given to toasting of their skill.
Olio tiny they ueut on a deer hunting expe
dition, and, after getting into tho woods
where they exectod to llnd door, thoy sepa
rated. Shortly after Hoirinan heard Cowan'i
gun tired on", when he immediately went over
to tho spot where ho heard tho shot, expect
ing to I obliged In help Cowan to hang up n
deer. Ho found Cowan very busy loading hit
gun, and shouted out:
"Hallo, Cmianl What did you Mioot at
just nowi"
"None o' your biiMnosM Go along over the
hill!"
Surprised at this short and crusty answer,
Holl'nmii looked n round nnd discovered a calf
among tho hushes. Again ho cried out:
"I say, Cowan, did you shoot nt that calf J"
"Yes, I did; but it's nono of your Imainossl"
"Why, what made you shoot at it I"
"I took it for a deer."
"Well, did you hit it!"
"No; I missed it."
"How did um miss it!"
"I wasn't quite sure, that it wasn't a calf."
"You aro it piotiy sort.smun," rejoined
Holrmnu, "to shoot at a ealf for a deer, and
miss it nt that!"
"Don't make u fool of yourself," replied
Cownn. "I shot at it just "so as to hit it if it
was n deer and miss it if it was a calf I" Now
York Ix-dger.
assaitc'a
3
D7JJH
mt
2,176 Pages
620 BeantifDl Illustrate!
Tni Mammotd Crcr.orDU hm b mfc-
uuru in mm utr wanu oi in munfi rvc
untTtml compendium ot tiiAwlrdgt, pretfcl.
UMhil, wif ntlflc and contnl. Th work U tfc
luhtd eotnplft In four lirr nnd hiitan
volumM, compflilnit a total nt 2,17ft pace.
Ii profuttlr lllu'trainl wih(WIfutlluli
ma
Itecnrd f the ?W'pii;ir Hoy.
A man sends me a suggestion from the
District telegraph company. Ho wnnts
tho company to keep jx-oplo who send
lMiys out advised of their progress. For
instance, they might have blanks ready
to fill up and send them to tho expectant
customer, say, every lilteen minutes.
"By telegraphic advices from corner
of Kearney and Market the loy is buy
ing a story paer, and will nt onco pro
ceed on his way with your message,"
Fifteen minutes later: "Corner Du
lont and Geary. Your messenger has
reached here safely, and is waiting for a
car to pass."
Fifteen minutes later: "Union square.
Your messenger has already reached fif
teenth chapter of his story. Ho has only
twenty-two more to finish."
"Your niexsenger has reached Mason
and Oeury, and will proceed as soon as
I ho has smoked his cigurette."
" our messenger has reached his desti
nation. Will lie back to-morrow." San
Francisco Chronicle.
A W'oril of Caution.
Uo had carried my satchel down to the
deKt from the hotel ut Hirmingham, Ala.,
and, still carrying it in his hand, ho strolled
about nud got in the way of 11 bnggngo truck
being pushed by another colored man. Tht
latter caino to a stop and indignantly de
manded:
"Yo pusson, diir what yo' doinl"
"Who's n pusson, snhl"
"Yo' isl"
"Ho a leetle lawful, salt! I hain't dun
used to belli' 'dressed in tint sort o' wuyl"
"Shoo! Do yo' know who I is?"
"An do yo' know who I isf"
"I represents do bnggngo department of dlj
yero ruilrond, snh !"
"Hul An' I represents do public what ii
rich 'initr to hev nnv bnggngo to travel wid
wihl Hoy doun' yo' go an' mnko any mis
takel If vo' do dar'll lo a mighty skeercity
o' nnggngo in yo' ixiggagu department I"
rsow oru Hun.
Idki. Thmiund of dollars haf n bwn iti
to mak Clila tli moot eoroplttt. aluabla i
UMful work for thma Ttrpubliinrd. lata
a work for rr;bodjr man. woman and alia.
In Try occupation or walk In life. Tha awh
tancaand practical utility of twtntv ordlaafT
volume ar comprllM In Ihttr four, aa4
rp4f In tho work with knnnld( of )nrr
kind, to fllttd Ii It with mt ml lilnta and liolpM
iigotlon. that w full? bfllaro that In avarr
hoaia to which It thall noil lt war It will m
com to tx regarded a worth ItawalthtinitaM.
For want of apace wt can onlr brlcfl aumaaar
lit a imall portion of thacontirjtiof thla gnat
work, a follows :
CfclatM, Jipaau, tht prarla at lodla. ifrlo. MHlfaMar,
fAUillat. !laad. nor&ro, llarraib, lb Sa4lcl Uawafcv
Harris, KaffrarU. Tartar?. Oaahmara and Taala. laa AraaM.
Tufta, Wailcaat. fealti aratrleaaa. InarUaa ladlaaa, Bcra
Uaaa, Slamaaa, AaraalDlaoa, Safwaf'sa't flraalarris. 8r(Mav
Itallaaa. llraaka, Rawlaai, Wbatfaaa, afifaaos, rarataaa.
MasUrna, Aailrallaaa, Baliarlaea, 9tUlaDa, aw . ate.
MANUFACTCKKft. !a tali ptat wark la alaa 4saarW
aai lliustraiai Iba aria ana praraasaa afprlnllai, ataraatfaiag.
boabMadlac. waaa aagrat Uig, Hlhfrapbr(kataraabr,aaaUa
prlatlnf, plaaa raaklai. aaleb aaaklai. par-tr aaaktaa. tta
niaaufsatura af altk. Iraa, ataal. taaa. cblaa, parfuatarT. aaap.
Isatbsr. alarah. watt pa?", tarpanllDa. paatal aarda. paaiaaw
sumps, aavalapsa, paaa. paaalla, eaadtoa, an4 raaar aaakar
Ihlsia, all af wblak will ba rbao4 paaallartr lataraatlag a4
loatrsatlra.
FOUF.ION PHonCCTa. Intamilai aaacrlpllaiis. Ilaa
Iralad.arihaaulturaaad praparatiaa far raarkalaf laa. aaava
sbaaalata, eottaa. aai, barap. suar, rlas, nulmata. alam.
tlafar. alotiaraaa, allaplaa. paprar.saaaaaata. plsaappaaa. baat
soss, prssts, astaa, ralal&a, fl(a, atlraa. talla.robbar.aaiai
pareha. aark, aarapbsr, caatar alt, Isptaas, sie.. ala.
NATtJHAI. nitTOIlT. lataraaUaf and IsatnaMIt
daaarlpllaoa. aaaampaalad by tllutiralUaa. arnuiuareaa tuaai a.
birds, flabaa sod laaaau. wlia math sotlaus laterrastlaa raw ara
Isgikslr lira and bsbtu.
LAW. Tas WaMwotn Cretrrarfa Is alaa a soiaplala Ii
book, lalllsf ararr maa baw ba may ba Ma aa lawjar, aval
aa&ulBlac full and aaactaa aiplanattaea af iba gaaarai taws,
aadlbalawaafUiaaafaralStalaa apaa all maltara wbMi ara
aubjaataa lllliallao, wllb nuraaraaa farata atltial dasaaMaas.
MININO. Daaarlrtloasaad lUaitrallaaa af Dia raralac aP
gald.allrar, claraaadl, aaal, salt, aappar, laad, ilaa, Ua aasl
aulskallrar.
WONOF-lli OF TIIF. SEA. Baraln ara doarlba4 aa
llluatratad lbs mtay waedtrrul and baaatlrnl ihlnca Paaad al tba
Soma aflhaMaaa.lhaplatita. flaaara, ahalls. fiabaa, ala.. Uka
wiaa paarl dlrlag , sarst eshlng. sis., ala.
STATlftTIOAIi ANB MIHOEI.LANEOrK. Rsrafa,
tscltaaavaat amanat af uaaral sud Inlrraatlas, tafarsaacloai,
oaiaaf wblch lalba Bapulatloa af Amartaan alllaa. araa aaaa
populrilanothsaABtlnaoia.of IbaSlataa and Tarrltartaa, aaal
of fhopftatlpal sauolrlaa af Iba war Id. taatib af Iba prtaarpat
tlrjrc, Vl-ruldanllal vatr far slur yaara, Fraaldantlal atattatlaa,
attz anC daptk af aaas. lakaa and oaaana. balhi ar mauaaaiaja,
losanvtlsn of oalraala aad aalaally af bodlaa, haliht af aaasia
mania, lawors aat2 atrsotaraa. dlslsaeaa from Waablaitoa. alaa
rraro Now Tort, lolmpartant polnu.shronalolealblaiarv Wala
sovcrr sou prairsaa, papalar aobrlQaats of Amartaaa eaaaosu.
slUra.otc. eorunan f rararaatUsl srrara, ralaa for apatHbf, paa
aunalatlon audaaa af eapttala, Wall Suaal ptiraaaa, anaiasafaa
of t'jo irorlJ, oarlaos rsat la natarat blaiarr.loorartsp
animals, orirn a or ins iiamasarntaiaa. asdaroouniriaa.ar rraaa
woria, popular raniaa, ramuiar qaeiauoaa, ar faoiua I
planls, djlnc words of famous parsoaa, fata af tha Ap
atauauassri&s lions, isaaiof isrsrarasois sr ibs wsrK
sis,
From Hi abora brief aammarj oflls sontsnts aoma Idaa of what a ramatkablr Intcrtatlnf, Inttructlra aast
raluablownrk tha Mamhotii Ctoipdia Ib may ba salnad, yt hot a fractional part of tit topics traakast lax
this icrcat work liaie baan namad. It Is a rast slorahouaa or ussfal and anlartalnltif knnwladp; nnaaavataai.
ably or tha hast and moat Taluabl works arar publlabad In any land or lanauaga. No homa should ba Bkkb
oat I'fCnisa work to ba oonsultad aTary day with raianl to tha Tarlons rvarplnlna; qnaatlons that ronaSaaatlr
arlsa 1,1 writing: and conversation, by tba farmar and Tvonaawifa la thslr (Jally utls aud puriulU, and far ttm
Hnaons reading do work Is mora entartalnlug or iDttruollrs,
Grand Premium Offer to Subscribers to the Scout
IIIATOIt T. Tas UaaMora Cistaaaaia saotalas aaamplsta
am aniNrniie niainrr ar uie iraal Aaaarieaa 1411 w ar, pre-
fuaalr UltHlraU't, wuhnututraas Aaae4aiaa af Iba ftehallloai a
aaniplrla Itlaiarv af i uia, laa, rraia lla dlaaar ary by Oalusobua la
,na rrani iiaia arapnin u.aaripiiana ai nuaaua eamaa ana
tmrarlant atanta hi Iba Malsrr af all nallaas, abraaalaglaal
i)iaiory,sic.,tie
lllOOllAril V. Thla grrai work aonlatas tba Urae af all
Itir l'ltaMviaa nr ilia vnllad Hiataa. frara Waabloalaa
tlarrla(n, with -rtiRlta and etbar Itlaairallaaa. alaa lltaa aad
iM,riialta,fNBftl-A llanaparu, Shakaapaara, nrroo. Wllllan
I'rnli. Hanjamln iranktln, Itanry Clay, Daaiat Wabalar. and
iMttnua aiaieainaii, auiaara, poaia, gaBarala, slergfaaea, ala.
4tian in tLs resiui da.
AOIHCrirrilF.. Valuabta blnlsand uHful suggaallans
ia l ariuara, uaailus af field eropa. (alaa and ftnraa, farllllaare,
farm liuplaraenla I lnrainek ralelng, Inaludlng Iks Iraalmaul of
niaaaaeaoraamraiio anunaia, pauliry laaplnr, aad baw mafia
eureeairut and profltaMaj baa keeping, dairy farming, ats. Tba
treatment af Iheaa aubjaota la eompleis and aabauatlea, ana
renders lbs work ef great praslleal use lo farmers andalaaktasa.
IIOltTIClH.TtTIIK. Herein la gleea tha raeoiueeful bints
logrowerenf nil klnda nf eegelablea and fruits, aa galbered
from the eaperlenea af Iba meal aueeeearul kerUoutlurleu.
AIIOHITF.CTITIIE. neel,na and plati for heneee.eatugae,
barna and ether anibutldlDgs, wlik raluable esggeallans Is
thaaa lutandlng la build,
IIIirnKIIOI.n. This walk eon I alaa trial aad Uited raalpas
for almoel arery Imaginable dirk far braakfaat. dinner and Ua,
thla deparlmeal aloue being worUi nars lhaa alae-teulba of
lite caok books eotd j atmaal Innumerable bfnla, bolpeaad aog
reailona taliouaekeeperst dealgnsaod suggeatlens far making
many beantlfut thlnga far Iba adoeumenl af bono, la needle,
work, embroidery, oie. t blnlaan tlorleulturo, telling faowlo ba
euoceoerul with all the Tarloua ptanta lollal hints, lellllng baw
la preierteand beauitry lha somplailea, bends, teetb, hair,
ots., eta.
MmiCAl Uaoy dollars la dseUrs bills will bs saesd
annually to etare peeeeeeor of tble boob through tho ealuabla
Information herein eeuletaed. II telle haw to cure, br almpla
yet roll able heme reuedtoe, aeallabta In aeery bauiekald, arery
dlaaaaa and allmeal thai laourable, Ihlo department farming a
complete medloal taok, the value af whlen lu auy borne eaa
hardly ba computed la dollere and eeala.
INVENTION ANI ItlaCOVKItV. Itemarkibty lotcf
eating daacrlptlooa of great loTenllono, Including e.s Bteam
Engine, IhoTeleiiaph. the Trlnllng Preaa, the Rleof .e IJght,
the Saving hi aehlne, lha Telephoue, tba Type Wilier, lbs Tips
Setting Heobluo, the Cotton Ola, ate,
TIIF. WOlll.n'.t IVONIIKIta. Orspbts dsaetlpUons,
tieaulirullr tlluatraled, of the Tellowalooo Park. Yoiomlle
Valley, Mlagara 1'alla, tba Alpa. Tarla, Veauelue, Venloe,
Vienna, tha Caoone ef Colorada, efatnmetb. Care, rfalural
Bridge, Watklne Qleo, lha White U ouolalne, elo., ato.
Til A VK I.S. Daaerlptlane, proftieely llluetratad, of tha tlk,
manoera, euatooia, peoullar fortua, rllas and sareuenlss of lbs
Aeeellee.
ir, eaa.
A Curium Inilliiii Horn.
Tliero it iiinong tho musical instru
ment in the National museum onu which
tho visitor invariably jironounceH n horn,
nnd yet it in never blown. It in tho
nyiw tnrnngn of India. Tho small end
is plnced against tho throat of tho per
former ho that it rostn tion tho vocal
cords. Then as tho performer drawn n
breath ho produces iijkiii tho nvas
taranga a clear reed like note. This
curious instrument can be placed ngainst
tho cheeks or the nostrils and nira can U
rendered. The Hindoo iniifeicinns aro
proficient in the use of tho upangn, ns it
was called in ancient times, but no
where else in the world is It plaved.
Washington Cor. fjlolre-Democrat.'
Tim Way W'm I)h It.
Lawyer Hn ve yon any opinions regard
lug tho guilt or innocence of tho defendant)
Possible Juryman No, sir.
Lawyer hut havo you read about this
case If
I'. J. Ain't rend nawlliin' about it.
lawyer Ileiiieinber, you aro on your oath
Do you mean to tell mo that you haven't read
anything at all uliout a cuso so celebrated oi
thin one?
P. J. No, 1 ain't read nawthin' about It,
I can't road.
Lawyer Oh, I l?g your pardon. Vou ara
accepted. Philadelphia Iuimirer.
He Couldn't S113-.
"Who's running this hotel, anyhow!" asked
a landlord of u traveling man, who wasn't
dbjiosed to accept the situation un meekly at
ho might hnve dono.
"Who's running this hotel J"
"That's what 1 Kiid."
"Well, I can't hay. I haven't mode up my
mind yet whether It's tint cockroaches or tin
nocturnal inwrls that miiKo bleep nothing but
a fantastic dream of hotie. You'll havo to
flguro it out lor yourself." Merchant Trav
eler.
Didn't Slret Them Up.
Practical Joker Uo clerk in muMo store)
Havo you note palter
Clork W'o l;eep only shoot music.
P. J. Well, isn't f-hot music noto paper!1
Clerk How much uill you take
P. J, One hi t.
Clerk Can't Hccoiumodnto you, Wa sell
it only in choir lots. Detroit Journal.
Kumewliut Ancient.
Jack Kupid (Ix-hfnd tho scenes examining
coin atihpeuded from tho bracelet of tho pro
iniero danseust.) Wh3', what a rare coin.
HtainiHtl with tho old Human efllgy too.
U hero did you get it'
Hival Corytiheo (in an audiblo whlorier)
Hho got it from Julius Cawir for a birthday
gift. PhlladBlphia Prehs.
Tim l lne.t Tlirfiul.
Tho nettle is ninong tho Biilintnnces
which fccionco has put to use during tho
jiast fow years. Thw weed is even U-ing
cultivated in (lennany, its flhro liaving
provou valuable for n variety of textile
fabric. In Dresden n thrt ml is prtxluc'!
from it w fine that n length of nixty
inilori -weighs only two ami a half ouuil.
Arkniikaw Traveler.
How oiiniilngly iiuturo hldtrt ivory
wriiilflo of her Jnuoiictilvublo anlliully
under row-ti mid vIoluU ntnl morning
dowj Knierbou,
A Trat of JlliirkaniHiiahlp.
Firt Man How far off can you hit a spit
toon
Hocond Man With a gun! As far as I can
aeu it.
First Man No: with tolw'co spit.
Beeond Man Well, not qulto o far.
Lowell Citizen,
-.h!7 rrcri',,.nrr'inKe",,e,,t.rrith ,ho PubllJrof tint MaMMotiI OtcUJpiinti. we r
e-abled to inaUe our subscribers and readera the folliewing extraordlnarv offer- W
111 Jf, lht ,MAX!"'r Cyci.oi'.I)Ia, complete inour volumes, as above rfMrrW
rtlpntatie prepaid, rim Tub Oiikoo.i Scoi.-t for osk YKKn.vpon receipt oonL
Vrn.Xn lfLVi I lwr, th',1? our ,rtBlar subscription price, so that
practically yet this larae and valuable work for the trijling sum of 75 cents. Thl in
a great oirer. a wonderful barKetin, and It Is h pleasure to us to be enabled to afford our
readers so remarkable an opportunity. Through this extraordinary offer we hope t
largely lncrfao our rlrculallon. Please tell all your friends that thoytan net tAej
t A UH- Vk 0v''I C).1'I,,A.,n io'.t volumes, with a year's subscription to our Muer, fcr
only I'erfect satb faction is gtiarant;od to all who take advantage of this aredvt
premium offiir. I hose whoe stibscriptlotis have not. yet expired who renew now will
receive the Mammotii CyoI.oimiiha at once, aii-l their subscriptions will be extentfe
one year from dat of expiration. The Mammoth Cycuhvudia will also be tdr
free to aiiv omi ent Ing us a club of three yearly sUlwcrihers to our paper, aeco
panle.d with t-1.60 In cash. Address 1I letters: '
The Oregon Scout, Union, Or.
WR
GRAND PRE&ViaUfiVI OFFER !
J SET OF THE
KS OF CHARLES DIMS,
In Twilvt Largt Volumes,
Whlob. we Offer with a Tear' Subscription
to thla Paper for a Trifle More than
Our Betfular Subscription Prioe.
Wisliinp; to liirgely increnso tho circulslfnn of t!ii.
paper tbirliiK the noxt six months, no hnvo mudei
arraiiuiini nlH with a New Ymk ptihlixliiii); hous
wheiebv wn nro cimhlnd lo oflVr uu a premium lo our
SubscriboiN 11 Het of lliei Wark of Churlcs Dlok-
!, In 'I'ttrlvei liurtie ami llnnrlMtiaasr
Viilimira, with a year' subsorlptiou to this)
piper, toratrilln morn thitii our re(.'iilnr sattta
Bt'ritlon price. Our great offer iisulmcrib(rH
eoliiwiM any ever In retofore inntU-. Churlec)
Dinfceiis was the greatest novelist who ever
lived. No author before or sinco hia tlmo bus
won the fsmu Hint lie achieved, nnd hln works
are even morn popular today than ilnrhig
his lilutimc. I'liey abound in wit. hnmor,
pathos, musterly iloliiienliiui of eluraetejr.
vivid descriptions ot places and Incidents,.
tltrilliuK aud skillfully wrought idols, .Bade
book is intcnsoly Interesting. No IioiiieBhnulit
bo without u net of thftte great and remaiit
ahlo works. Not to have read them hi to Ua
far behind Uie ad In which we live. Hie
et of Vlckoiia' worka whiuh nn nrTur aa .
prflinlttm to our sulcriborn is liandaoinoly printed from entirely new platea, weh new type,
riie twolro vnliiini'H conUin the follnwinir world.famuua worka. uach one ot leliich u nnU
llshed c"iiileie, unchanged, and aluolutciy unabridged :
CUAIILKS DICKKNS.
DAVID COPPERFIELD,
MARTIN CHUZZLEWIT.
NICHOLA8 NICKELBY,
DOM BEY AND SON.
BLEAK HOUSE,
LITTLE DORRITa
OUR MUTUAL FRIEND,
PICKWICK PAPERS,
ARNABY RUDCE AND CHRISTMAS
STORIES,
OLIVER TWIST AND GREAT EXPEC
TATIONS, THE OLD CURIOSITY SHOP AN
THEUNCOMMERCIALTRAVELER.
A TALE OF TWO CITIES, HARD
TIMES AND THE MYSTERY OF
EDWIN DROOD. ,
The Trouble! Was In Ihtj Ire.
Indignant 0uet Walter, this stwik Is not
fresh.
Walter Reg trdon, air, It's freah off tho
fee.
Indignant Ouest Then the Ico Is Male, Out
fresher ico. Toxua Hlftlngs.
All Itliiht, Nrtrrtlinlraa,
Marie Did the manlutfe coreiuony com
off nil 1 JkIiU
uUo-Yeeii Mill Itcun'l baafthltKat tlmrs
VerUIl'l n bitch lu tho procwiJIin;,, it(V71,
Wokly,
The bImivo are without otlesUoB Uie mrwift lariiniia emveila that arArn Avne wrlttun Vn
fitiarU r of u century they havo beeu eelehrated in every nook and comer of the nivilixml
world. Yet there are thousanda oi hornet In Amrira not t annnlinil urlili u .,,1 ,.r nL....
thnllHIial IiIkIi cost of the luniks Iireventlnir tiMinln in irirxlHratA ciroiinuitaririi lr,.,
this luxury, hut now, owing to the use of modem iminroved printing, folding and eliudiinar
inaehtnery, the extreinely low price of whito laper, and the great competition in the book
nam-, d io .uiawicn to oner m onr suuecriners anu readers a aei el inckeus' worka at a.
pries which all c.n afford to pay. Erery homo in the laud Bay uow be supplied with a et
of the great author a works.
Our Great Offer to Subscribers to the SCOOT.
We will send the Kntiuk Bkt or Dickknh' Wohkh, in twklvk vqlvuxh. as atW
described, all postage prepaid by ourselves, also Tim Oiikudn fcour for onk tkajl
upon receipt of eUf.oo, which is onlyM oento mors than the reaular tubscripHtm.
price of this paper. Our readers, therefore, irstlrlly get a set of Dickens' works
" .l.w,0,.v,e volumes for only SO cents. Thh Is the Kindest iireinlum eer offerd. U
to this time set of Dickens' works has usually keen S10 or more. Tell nil revr
friends lhn.1 tlieV mil LrtiL a net of DleLunu' worka In t w.,lv vnliU wial. . L..
Mubscrlptlon toTilatOiiwioNtkouT. for only 8.tM), Hubcrlbenowndiwtailiit
,,rm'! ,f,yVur rr.i)tlon Iim not yet eitilrrd. It will make no dlUereiKe, tW It
as
arcom
be exU-ndud one year from date of ejplrAtUu, We will also lve a set of Uiavksjua.
Ikjvo, free and postpaid, to any oon sendliiK ua a club of two T"tlr iii'-irrtliTrs!
iiiipuuled with aSaOo In cash, Addrra ' ' uvwrnt
THE OREGON SCOUT, Union, Or.