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About The Oregon scout. (Union, Union County, Or.) 188?-1918 | View Entire Issue (Sept. 4, 1890)
The Oregon Scout JONE8 & Chanoey Publishers. UNION, OREGON. h-00 . wo 1 ION SEED. One of the Moat Impressive Object Les sons In Political Kconomy. Trior to 1800, Cotton was King. And yet, tho last llvo crops of cotton raised by froo labor exceeded tho flvo ante bellum crops of slave labor by sovoral million balos. Tho great industrial forces is competition. Tho competition between the United States aft tho manufacturing nations of Europe, and specially England, in supplying tho markets of Asia and South Amorica with cotton goods has mado it necessary that very labor-saving dovico bo used, that the raw material bo obtained at a low cost, and that every cent be saved in tho process of manufacture. Political ocono mosts toll us that tho trallio of tho world turns on a half a cent a yard, a cent a bushol or a half-penny a pound on tho groat staples. Our exports of cotton fabrics consist mainly of coarso shootings and drills, which go to China, Africa and South America in payment for toa, silk, sugar, spico, hides, etc. In 1800 tho avorago yoar's product of ono oporativo in a cotton-mill was r,:tl7 pounds of cloth. In 18S0 ttio avorago yoar's product was, in round numbers, 8,000 pounds of cloth. That is to say, tb average yoar's work of ono oporativo in tho Now England cotton-mill will glvo 1,000 Chinamen 5 pounds or 10 yards oach of cotton-drill. ow, with greater competition in cot ton thero comes groator economy. Noth ing Is thrown away; every bit of soed lias its uses. After cortain tests and oxporlmonts, it was found that a ton of cotton seed hold some thirty gallons of pure oil, and this, in its crudo stato, is worth from Sl'J to 815 dollars to tho ton. So that tho wholo crop of cotton sood is now worth not loss than $r0,000,000. A groat trust was organized somo years ago for tho purposo of controling tho trado. Tho Amorican Cotton-Oil Trust certificates, roprosonting millions of dollars, arc now listed on tho Now York Stock Excfcango tho samo us tho stocks of any railroad or mining company. Aaln, it was found Aat a cortain quality of lard could'bo extracted from cotton-sood oil. Tho result was that Wostorn stoam lard was oxtonsivoly adultorated. Still It can hardly bo said that tho inixturo was, or Is, vory in jurious. Tho kornol of tho cotton-seed is said to bo a nutritious food for ani mals, and upon tho Southern farm it is tho main stock food. Onco moro, it has also boon found that ton of cotton seed, without its thirty gallons of oil, is a valuablo fertilizer. Cotton sood supplies to tho soil tho ele ments which aro needed to nako it pro ductive. Tho hulls of tho seed aro used as fuol for foedlng tho oil-mill ongino. If 10 ashes of tho hulls havo a high com mercial valuo as potash, while tho "re fuso" is UBcd as stock in tho host and purest soaps. Lastly, tho Italians place n cask of cotton-seed oil at tho root of t)l I vo troos for tho purposo of fertiliza tion and protection. Thus, it is surprising to find how many of our now industries aro concornod with Taw materials which woro onco regarded s being of little valuo or use. For half a century cotton sood was burnod or dumped as garbage. To-day it is at tho basis of a grout trado, 11 groa't manu facture and a groat trust. Indeed, an account of tho il liferent uses of cotton ood is an "object losson" in political economy. Onco a Wook. THE STYLE OF TO-DAY. Never Were Women Hi urn! .Morn lvi ninthly TI11111 lit Prt'nin Tho prosont tonuonov ofl toward naturulnoss in form n may bo accopted, at loast for out, as strong and absolute, loom likely, with tho tasto and tho general knowledge tuasHOS aro gaining eorro'etnosj And outline, that tho wheel of over in its crasoluss rovolutl back tho lhunuuso expansion or tho frightful deformity of t Whoro a fashion takes such In mlnuto details, revolutionizing under- wear, und adapting ovory soparato ariiuio oi costunio to ono imm, then wo certainly havo reason to hope that it Is dostluod to a moro or Umseonltnuod ex istence. For then tho groat business and inurcantllo lutorosts bof ouiojlnvolvod In Its permanent acceptance, machinery employed in supplying great demands Is modified in accordance with tho now regulations, and such ponderous bodies ran only bo moved at certain Intervals. Tho ontlro cataloguo of women's gar ments has gradually undergone this transformation. A fow years ugo yards and yards of muslin or lluon woro gath ered and tucked and gauged Into olumsy articles of underwear which elTeotually destroyed all natural grace and outline. Now tliero is llttlo superfluous material to bo found among evun tho plainest and ilinplest of ordinary gurmonts. Thoy oneaso tho form vory snugly, hamper ing no limbs, and yet thoy have almost a tailor lit This change did not tako place In an instant or a month. It took many Boasons to accomplish it, and it is years since tho first attempt Was mado to bring about tho result. When a tUlo in fashion as well us In other ulfalrs sots strongly in one direc tion, it is uhuIoss to uttempt to turn it. It must reach its flood. Fashions may therefore bo considered pretty well set tled for a year to como. Changes will bo Uevulopod in style, and much variety In tho dotuil of design adapted to diver sified wants and purposes, but the low at the back will form the basis of u.nm nil. ,.,! n .,.t iM...,i,i.,f . . smooth outline with tho fullness massed limitation m these conditions Impose. Tho stylos at present are moat of hem admirable? the only fear Just at present iu that the strong natural feeling against doml-tralns on the promenade aro to bo overruled, and that clean and eostlv fabrics aro once moro to bo trailed A LAMENT. In the dreary, distant northland Lot a mighty oak did grow. For a hundred peaceful summers Through It did tho soft winds blow; Tot a hundred lengthy winters On It fell the cold, white snow, Heath it roved tho doughty chieftain While his dusky love ho woo'd. Proud and stately grew the oak tree In the northern fcolltude. Lot the mighty now have fallen, Fallen from their high estate; On the pavement of tho city Has the oak tree banged of late, Through tho air In graceful motion Does it circle and gyrate. For the oak has been made Into Cones that are used by the dudes; Fallen is the mighty monarch Of the northern solitudes. New York Herald. DR. KEENE'S STORY. Frank Howard was ono of my most intimate friends. I met him ono sum mer in the Catskills, whither I had be taken myself for a week's chango and fresh air. I pnt up nt a lonely farm house, whero Howard, stopping for a day to await tho arrival of Bomo friends, was so unfortunato aa to sprain his anklo. It was nothing serious, but it compelled him to remain quiet for a few days. His friends, arriving, proceeded on their way, leaving him in my caro. Frank was a cheery, happy young fel low of 20, and took his mishap with un commonly good grace. I read to him from my small storo of books and pa pers, and wo had long nnd interesting talks. Frank was full of tho enthusi asm of youth, and I, eight or ten years Ids senior, was, my steady going col leagues would havo said, a visionary, romantic boy. Thoso few days made us bettor acquainted than wo would havo become in months of intercourse in tho city. When Frank was ablo to rejoin his friends my time was up and I returned to town, regretting tho neces sity that compelled mo to part with tho pleasant young follow. Ho did not forget his promiso to look mo up when ho returned to tho city, and from that time on wo were tho best of friends. I had, I am suro, moro of his confidence than did any ono else, and I talked to him in a way that my medical brethren would havo pronounced wild and unprofessional, but ho took it in sober earnest, nomattorhow wild, be lieving in my theories juBt because I aired them. My friend was a good looking young fellow, tall, well made as to figure, easy and graceful. Ho had bluo gray eyes, a well shaped brow and rounded chin, dark hair which, however, was quite thin, giving promiso of early baldness, a noso perhaps a trifle too long and an upper lip a trillo too short. His front teeth, though white, wero not well shaped. Greatly to his sorrow ho could not rai60 a mustache, try hard as ho might, and he had tried very hard, indeed, investing many a dollar in nostrums warranted to produce tho desired result. Frank well knew what an improve ment a mustacho would bo ho did not hanker after whiskers, a mustacho was all ho wanted for ho had worn falso ones upon several occasions when taking part in private theatricals. He was quito clever, and played very well for an ama teur, but often accepted a part, I verily believe, more for the opportunity it gave him to wear a mustacho than for any other reason. Ho was very well situated financially. His parents wero dead. His father had left him a good business, which, how over, had so far demanded little of his attention, as his father had also left him a partner, a Bhrowd, steady bachelor, without near kin, who was devoted to tho young man. Considerable property outside of tho business added a good deal 0 hud fow hosts of to in soci- kiico girls lownrd ho asked che. No is ho did, ho felt Jus expor- 1 dropped y to a 10- some mo- I ,0te evidently spent in deep thought, for ho had not seemed to hear 0110 or two of my remarks, Frank broko out: "Scohere, doctor, can't you transplant a bit of somo ono's scalp to my lip and inuko a mustacho that will grow? You read or told 1110 something one evening about such an experiment or else 1 dreamed it I havo boon wanting to npeak to you about it. I'd gladly spare some of my own scalp if tho hair on it wasu't so awfully thin. I'll give you a thousand dollars if you can manage it nnd pay all exjKmses. Think it over and see if there isn't somo way to do it, and now I must bo otf, Good night, old boy!" 1 I laughed at the idea, but after ho had gono I could not help thinking about it. I A thousand dollars was certainly tempt- ing. My practice did not increase so rapidly an 1 could havo wished, and of course, liko mauy anothor foolish young fellow, I had married a nico girl when scarcely able to keep myself comforta bly, aud tho tiny olive briuichos had a I dreadful wav. sweet as they wero. of ap I YAnr!rwp nil inn fr.niitntlv for n twwir I man. Inn not saying, mind you, that 1 I've over regretted my marriage or been willing to sparo ono of tho boys and girls now growing up so fast around me; but money was vory scarce in those days, and a thousand dollars Boeinod too much to lot go without somo effort to earn It 1 1 I did lot of hard thluking for a few 1 days and spent all my spare time ovei J &WA Y library down town, I finally told if"" Jt I would what oou b ' Pouo lf,h? ,??,d 3 th?rrat if OBeued lu the undertaking. He agnnd nc , J & f" 1 "Waal" In The Herald, .offering MOO for Wt of "P from tho hoad f R he1ttiy 1", )ung woman preferred, aud naming an hour for applicants to call at my office. Well, I had a good many answers, in person and by letter. The letters I paid no attention to. and thoso who called did not suit, until I began to think I would have a good deal of trouble to find tho right person, when my small boy of all work ushered in a young lady. I knew that she was young, though she was heavily veiled, by her slight, girlish figure and low, sweet, tremulous voice. Her dress was neat and plain and fitted exquisitely. Her gloves and boots were not new, but thoy were tho gloves and boots of a lady. Wavy dark brown hair was worn in a heavy coil beneath a little round hat, and I thought "Hero's tho very girl at lastl" I questioned her closely, and explained to her moro fully than to tho others just what I wanted. She was nervous, as was quito natural, but had evidently mado up her mind to win tho $200 if possible. She was perfectly healthy, she said, and so far as sho knew, came of healthy parents. Her father was dead. Her mother was usually quito well, though not very strong. Sho was just now suffering from injuries received in a fall on tho stairs. "The doctor says," the young lady went on, "that my mother will soon bo as well as ever, but wo need money very badly at present. On account of my mother's illness I lost my position in that is, I am out of employment, and as I am the bread winner for our family I am willing to do anything honorable that will not injure- my health to earn money. I must stipulate that my face shall remain covered, and that no effort will bo made by any ono to discover my identity." "Can you endure tho operation with out tho ivid of an anaesthetic?" I asked. "You must know that your confidence is sacred." But, no. Sho insisted that her nerves wero strong enough to endure tho ordeal, so I appointed an hour next day for tho operation, and bowed her out. I then rushed off to inform Frank of my suc cess. Ho was charmed with my de scription of the girl and delighted with her pluck. "Give her $500," ho said, "whether tho operation is successful or not. Sho is a bravo girl to do such a thing for her family. Great, hulking boys, no doubt, Bomo of them. Now I haven't much family, but I am suro I wouldn't part with any of my scalp for all of my rela tives in a heap." Tho young lady was promptness itself. I had just shown her into an inner room when Frank arrived. After tho opera tion I sent him away first, and then put her into a cab, taking caro to withdraw before she gave tho driver his orders. No. I'm not going to tell you how 1 transplanted two bits of scalp from tho back of tho girl's head to tho lip of the young man. I havo nover told any one how it was done, but it was a success. Tho young couple wore as bravo as possible. There was not even a groan from either. The girl lay face down upon a loungo, her luxuriant, wavy hair streaming around her. I could not but admiro tho dainty shape of her head and the pretty nock, with tiny rings of hair' curling down upon it. Just below one shell-like ear a small star shaped spot showed white upon tho now rosy skin. It would probably not bo noticeable usually. Tho young lady came to my offlco for some days until tho wounds wero quite healed. As sho was young and healthy it did not tako long, but I nover got a glimpse of hor face, nor did I try to do so, having too much respect for the courageous young rcyituro. When I handed her $500 instead of tho $200 she had expected sho was quite overcome with joy. Hor voice was fully of happy tears as sho claspod my hand in both of hers and faltered: "Oh, doctor, I do not know how to thank you; you cannot realize what a help this money will bo to us. It is a perfect godsend, and I don't ono bit mind tho pain, which, I'll confess now, was rather hard to bear." My own needs enabled mo to quito un derstand her feelings. My thousand freed mo from many a present worry, and beforo it was gono I had secured quito a paying practice. I attended Howard in his own apart ments. When ho was sufficiently re covered he wont abroad for awhile. Ho returned after somo months, pleased with his trip, nnd delighted with his handsome brown mustache, which certainly added much to his good looks. Ho was so busy with social arrangements and I was mj fully occupied that for somo months I saw vory littlo of him. Tho fault was chiefly initio, however, for Frank seemed to think more of mo than over, and I ofton found his card upon my return from a profes sional call. Ono evening ho came and found mo at leisure. "So glad to find you in, doctor," ho said; "I'vo como to bo congratulated. I am going to marry tho dearest girl in tho world, and want you, my best friend, to wish mo joy." I did congratulate him heartily and asked if I knew the lady. "No. I think not," ho replied. "Sho is Miss Mildred Fayo, a member of tho company at theatre. Don't look so surprised. Not a nicer girl lives. A breath of Blander has never touched her uamo. Her father died when 6ho was about 18 just out of school, Ho whs thought to Ikj very well off tho family had always lived in good stylo but at his death his wife aud two daughters found themselves almost ponuiloss. Not even their homo belonged to thorn. Mrs. Fayo, a dolicato little hotly, unused to work of any kind, had no idea as to how thoy wero to make a living, bo Mildred had to tako tho lead. Kato, tliree or four years younger than sho, must be kept In school, aud tho throo must bo provided, somehow, with food, clothing and shelter. Mildred had been fairly educated, but not thoroughly enough tu attempt teaching, so sho dotormlued to So upon the stage. She had had a good oalof expericucoin amateur theatricals, and had been warmly pralsod for her acting. I had heard of Miss Fayo's tal ent, but never happened to to her. Good critic had Bald she would make u ensatlon If the would go on the stage professionally. . When she announced her determination her friends wero much shocked and her mother quito overcome, I but no ono had anything better to sug gest, so she had her own way. Sho knew that she was inexperienced and must bo 1 content with a small salary and a small part to begin with. Sho wished very much to get into a home company, but that seemed impossible, so she accepted a t minor part in a very good company going upon tho road. i "No one who has not tried it can under stand what sho had to endure. Tenderly cared for all her life, with plenty of I money for reasonable needs, she now had to practice tho strictest economy. Sho ' stopped at cheap hotels, did without fires, walked whenever it was possible to do bo, all to save every cent sho could for tho loved ones nt homo. Sho was under study for tho leading lady, who was neither young nor pretty, but who pos ' sessed what Mildred most lacked, ex ' perience. She also possessed a temper, and one night, not long beforo tho rising , of tho curtain, refused to go on. Tho long suffering manager appealed to Mil dred. She was letter perfect, and in spite of considerable natural nervousness mado a great hit. Tho delighted man ' nger gave her the part for tho rest of tho season, but tried to keep her salary un i changed. This she would not agree to, bo they finally compromised on a fair sum, which enabled Mildred to take bet ter caro of herself and to send moro t money to her mother. The part suited her, and everywhere sho was warmly praised for her acting. Everything looked bright and promising when a telegram ' called her to her mother's sido. It was so 1 worded that she was not much alarmed, j It was Saturday night. They were near I Now York and she left, expecting to re join tho company in timo for tho per formance Monday evening. J "Sho found that her mother had slipped upon tho stairs and dislocated her arm. This had been sot, and, tho doctor said, , would soon bo well; but sho was nervous and shaken, and would not hear of Mil 1 dred's leaving her, and kept tho poor girl 1 until her place in the company had long beon filled. When Mrs. Faye, slowly recovering, camo to her senses, the sea son was nenrly closed and an engage ment wns not to bo had. Their money was about gono, and times, I fancy, were pretty hard, when some good friend must havo helped them with a loan. At the beginning of this season, Mildred got her present position. A very good one, if sho was going to remain upon the stago, which she's not, you know. She is going to marry mo two weeks from to day. I want you and Mrs. Keene to come to tho wedding. Only tho family, a young lady friend of Mildred's and my dear old partner will bo there. Tho rooms are too small to have any ono else. Wo go away at onco. Mrs. Fayo and Kate will take possession of our house, which I am busy furnishing. You know I've never had much of a home, and feel awfully happy over tho prospect of having such a nice mother and. sister and tho sweetest wife in the world. And now good-by. Don't forget the day I" and the happy fellow went away as if walking on nir. Tho appointed hour found myself and wife knocking at the door of Mrs. Fayo'a cozy little flat. Frank presented us to his future mother and the minister Mr. Haines, Frank's partner, we knew already and then stepped to tho door of tho next room and handed out tho bride, who was followed by her sister and her friend. Tho bride wore a simple white gown with a veil falling over her face. Miss Duncan, a pretty blonde, was in blue. Kato Faye, a slip of a girl, dark haired and dark eyed, wore pink. The minister soon made the happy pair one, and after the bride's mother and tho young ladies had kissed and cried over her a little ' while my wife and I stepped forward to bo presented anu" offer our congratula tions. I Tho new Mrs. Howard was all that hor lover's fond fancy had painted her. A graceful girl of medium height, with soft brown eyes, a lovely complexion, a sweet ' mouth about which played pretty dim- ' pies, and wavy browil hair worn in a heavy coil at tho back of a shapely head, and falling in tiny rings upon a low, white brow. When my name was men tioned sho looked up with a deep blush, ' which quickly receding left her very pale. In a low inusical voice, whoso tones wero strangely familiar to my ear, she thanked us for our good wishes. After some siniplo refreshments tho brido went away to put on her traveling dress, nnd ns they were about to depart I 6tood beside her for a moment. Sho turned to speak to her husband, and 1 Baw what nns wcred my question. " Where had I heard that voice?" Just below tho left ear was a tiny, star shaped 6pot, showing white through tho rosy blush called up by her husband's tone and glance. i They went away a happy couplo and returned more in love, if possible, with each othor than beforo. I havo been set tled, as you know, in this place for a ntimber of years. I dou't see Frank Howard very often nowadays, but our friendship has suffered no change. I do not know though whether ho nnd his wifo, devoted as they are to each other, havo oxclmnged confidences on tho mus tache question or no. Thoy havo made no sign. Neither havo I. Mrs. Juliette M. Babbitt in Gotham Monthly. Ills Occupation Gone. I First Detective You look bluo this morning. What's tho matter? Secoud Detective Did you read about ' a convict at Sing Sing confessing on his death bed that ho murdered a man in i Now York? I "Yea, I read all about it." I "Well, that spoils a clew on which I have been working for a year and a half." Texas Siftiugs. Daluty Mosaic Work. In tho matter of daintiest handiwork think of a face wrought in mosaio in which 1,700,000 pieces wero used, the largest of which was less in size than a millet seed I Such a trophy of pationt labor is recorded of an artisan who In inch mlnuto detail has given tho portrait of Paul V, who lived in the Sixteenth oentuty. Exchanco. THE AMERICAN GIRL. he Has a Vivacity and Wit Which thV Older Civilisations Have Lost. Henry Jamos' witty sketch of Daisy Miller, whllo it offended somo few Americans who did not understand it, has holped innumerable othor Ameri cans, who learned through his dolicato atlro moro than they would through a volume of well-intentioned maxims. So there aro few, if any, sinners who com mit tho gross orror of too great famili arity with a oourior, or who walk to tho Coliseum by moanlight attended only by a gentleman. Tho sins which American girls commit in European eyes aro the sins against tho public man nors. liko loud talking and laughing in the hotel parlors, in tho sallo a manger of a watering placo, in tho casino at Monto Carlo, in their attitudo and man ner at a cafo in Paris and so on. In tho tnattor of dress tho American girl rises to tho situation at onco. Sho is very raroly, if over, badly dressed. Given such an amount of prottlnessassho has, such quickness of eyo and so long a purso, Paris dresses hor a ravir, and sho wears hor clothes liko a quoon, or a3 queens but seldom do. It is astonish ing, when ono soes such tasto in ono di rection, thatono can see such limitations of tasto in tho matter of manners; but it is quito evident that somo young Amorican girls think, if tho outsido of tho cup and platter is clean, it is no matter about the Inside. Thoy neglect their speech, which is a matter of vital importance. For whorovor wo live, whether in Yorkshlro or Rome, Peoria or Paris, thoro aro such things as a cul tivated and agreeable voice, a correct pronunciation and a pretty accent No ono is so dependent upon thit charm as woman. It has mado many a plain woman attraotivo this gift of speech. And tho Vonus of Milo would become a fright if sho could open that glorious mouth of hers, and If from It should 1s iuo an uncultivated voice, saying "hort" for "heart," "mormor"for "mamma," or, dloflling hor classic features for the mo ment, sho should givo an unmusical cackle and launch into slang. It will not help tho American girl to say "sho dlon't caro." Sho doos caro. There is a native born Amorican aristocracy, to which all should aspiro to belong. Tho original and beautiful American women havo a vivacity and wit which tho oldor civilizations havo lost. Sho should never loso her originality. But sho should study to bo low-voiced, sweet voiced, calm, quiet and thoroughbred. Mrs. John Sherwood, in North Amorican Roviow. MIDSUMMER TOILETS. Exquisite Draperies For Silk, Lawn, Laoa anil Other Churnilng- downs. Marvels of delicacy aro tho exquisite Iraporiesof crepe de Cfti'neand silk which ro tho favorito evening toilets of tho watering placo hollo. Ribbon-striped crepet aro draped over India silk foundation skirts in tho less laborato, most artistic ways, and edged at the bottom with finger wide Aloncon, Oriental or Chantilly laces, wbilo the waists aro sculpturesque drap Ings of crepe over smooth fitting founda tions of silk. Transparent sleeves or do sleeves aro popular, unfortunately oven with thoso whose arms do not always justify their absenso of covering; but even the drossiest of toilets may bo made with half-long sleeves, and waist drapery drawn up full around tho throat With the warmest days the usual summer fancy for all-black and all white toilets crop out, and lovely ruist llko gowns of whito tullo and shadowy robes of black drapery not are brought out Somo of the prottlost are tufted with flowers, andwhlto and pink daisies on black not aro a favorito decoration. Other flowers aro whito hyacinths, and pink and whito orchids on whito aro charming. Ribbon garnitures are used quito as much, and a pretty way of disposing them to advantage Is to placo them un der, not over, tho drapery. Ribbons about an inch wide, contrasting with tho not under which thoy aro placed, aro attached to tho foundation skirt in any proferrod stylo, sometimes falling from tho waist, somotlmes arranged in Vandykes, and gloam through their vailing of laco. Groon or buttor-cup yollow with blaok, and lilac or old-roso with whito or cream, aro artlstio com binations. A simpler stylo of dross is tho plain India silk trimmed with velvet bands and somotlmes with gilt braid, and this Is adapted for tho youngest of young ladios who do not caro for tho fullor blown oifeot of voluminous draporlos. Tho French lawns now to bo had in oxquisltoly floworod and colored de signs aro not mado up as "wash" gowns, but as toilets for coromonlous occasions. Thoy aro malo up ovor glace silk of tho color of tho flowers, lavender, blue, roso, groon or yollow, to match tho lilacs, forgot-mo-nots, roses, jonquils or leaves, as tho caso may bo. Dolicato embroidery, laco and ribbon aro the garnitures. For tho women no longor young, black laco is tho most beautiful dress, impart ing a charm and a dignity no othor fabrlo possibly can; but it must bo fine and good in fabrlo and design, and pro fusoly drtped, and can bo decorated with cut stool and lino jet ornaments. Domorest's Magazino. A ilmulllntliiR 1'osttlon, Visitor (to convict) What aro you la for, my friend I Convict Bank burglary, sir. Visitor I supixjso you must find your pres ent position very Humiliating. I Convict Yw, very. When we march to meals, sir, I'm always sandwiched m between tuo aldermen boodlers. Tho Epoch. Slam Interesting Ma'ter. Subscriber (to editor) I don't see anything In your paper today about tho heroic act of Smith, who 6aved tho life of Drown at the risk of his own. Editor No; It was crowded out to make room for an accouut of the cowardly manner In which Joucs took tho life of Roblnsou. Ufa .n Unkind Cut. Minister's Wifo (Sunrinv mornlntrl T it ; possible, my dear, that after all you havo i uiu Buuut ouiiuajr uuxiOTa, you ore roau j ing one I ) Minister (very much hurt) You ought to . know mo better than that, Maria; this U lost renlrg's paper. Tho Epoch. "w POP WAS UNLUCKY. i r Ha Went Ont to Drop Smith, Hot Smith Dropped Him Instead. At about three o'clock in the after noon I camo along to a Kentucky "squat," which differed from a hundred others only in tho fact that a woman and boy sat on a log in front of the opening in tho brush fence, which might be termed tho gate, and becauso six dogs wero lying in tho sun instoaW of the usual three or four. I asked after tho man of the house, and tho woman replied: "Ho un hain't homo just now." "Ho back soon?" "I reckon. Ho 'un has gono down tho road a pieco to drop that Davo Smith." "To what?" I asked. "To drop Davo Smith." "Do you mean ho has gono to shoot Smith?" xl tt "Sartln. Thoy 'uns has bin wantln to pop at each othor fur a long timo." "Thar sho clattcrsl" shouted tho boy as tho report of a gun roached our ears, and ho was oil down tho road liko a deer. "Reckon tho olo man dropped him, calmly obsorved tho woman as sho went on with her work of patching an old woolen shirt. I expressed my unbounded surpriso at this sort of man-hunting, but sho said it was ono of the customs, and had to bo lived up to. In about ton minutes tho boy reappeared, and, sitting down on tho log to get his breath, ho said: "Pop's a-coming.'- "Drop Smith?" sho queried, without even looking up. "No; Smith dropped him. Pop's got buckshot In tho shoulder. Bettor git things roady." "Reckon I had, Jim," sho shouted, getting up, sho folded her work and moved into the house without tho loast sign of oxcitomont. A fow minutes later tho husband camo up at a slow . walk, with tho fresh blood dripping from his shoulder, and halted long enough in front of mo to say: "Evoning to you, stranger. Sort o' make yourself to home. I wont out to drop Smith, and tho ornery varmint was waitin' behind a bush and dropped me. Git the blood washed off and tho shot picked out, and we'll hov a visit You, Jim, tako his knapsack and show him whar' to wash up." N. Y. Sun. BOBBY ON "JOMMETRY. The Secrets of an Olntruse Sclenoe-D-scrlbed In lucid Terms. .Tommotry is a study witch treats an a mighty dry treat it is of dividin up surfaces. On tho first page is axums. A axum is a thing you can guess without askin, or see without lookin, as. A olo funt is bigger than a rat Only they don't havo any animals in jommotry, and that's why it's so stupid. Ono of tho easiest axums to romembor Is "A strato lino is tho shortis distance be tween two points." This is pretty true, but it depends on ' how tho walkin' is, and on what lays be tween tho two points. Thero is two kinds uf Jommotry plain and solid. Plain jommotry is any thing but plain; but solid jommotry is orfully solid. Tiggors como next. Thoy have sides and angles, liko old maids. A square is a flggor with four ekal sides and four ekal angles. Tho angles aro called right angles, becauso you generally mako thorn wrong. A triangle has thrco sides, and comes to a point I always como to tho point whon I want monoy for shootin crackers an so on; and thon mother trios anglin for mo with hor slipper, or her hair brush, witchover is handiest. After awhile you learn theooroms. You draw lines, drop perpendiculars, and all that. Every thing is A. B. C. and D. E. F. Ono of tho first you learn is that a strate lino drawn through to parallel lines cuts them at tho same angle. It looks easy, but it's no fool of a job to prove it. By and by you loarn about tho squaro on tho hippopotamus of tho right angled triangle, otherwise known as tho pawns as honorum. (Them last throo words is Latin.) Solid jommotry is moro intorostln than plain jommotry. It is fun to make cubes an pollygones out of pasteboard and gum arable It keeps you so busy you can't run errands; an' tho boxes Is jus' tho thing to keop flies in. I seo Billy Adams outsido with a stray dog, an' I guess I'll go out an' chin him awhile. Jonas Longlow, in Santa Claus. Hound to Stay. "There is ono solaco loft mo at least," romarked tho old farmer. "After all my boys loavo and and go up to tho city, after tho pigs and tho cattle dio, and ov ory thing olso forsakes mo, thoro is at least ono thing that will stick to tho old farm." "And that is?" "Tho mortgage." Lawronco Amor- i lean. J Kemarkiililu Woiiiun. Kajonos To-day is my thirtioth wod ding anniversary. Korsmlth Wife still living? "Yes." "Lived with you all that timo?" "Certainly." (Admiringly) "What norvo that woman must havo!" Chicago Tribune A Curionltjr. Polite clerk (showing goods) Horo is noraothing I would liko to call your at tention to, lady. It's tho very latest thing out Mrs. Rounder (absently) If thoro's any thing out later than my husband I'll tako It, If only for a curiosity. Llfo. Had Learned the Motto. Teacher (in spelling-class). Johnny, spell fall. j Johnny. I can't Teacher. You can't spell that slmplo word? Why not? Johnny 'Causo thoro's no such word as fall. Llpplncott's. Legislative Custom. Anxious Tailor: By the way, Sonev n tor, how about that llttlo bill of mlno?' 1 Solomn Statesman: In splendid shapo, y dear sir; I will pabs it to a third reading noxt wook. Jury. in the dust. N. V. lpt