!
t i'
A TEA-CUP DIALOGUE
At Mr, Wellington Square's Mmlrale,
Prlilay, From Tour to Seven.
Margaret Why, Holcn, how do you
do?
TllltlL-Q Rli. InnU t 1 .
certainly has faded awfully. I wonder
who made her gown?
Helen-Very well, dear. Tired, of
course; it's so long a season ovory one's
4Ired.
' Thinks I might as well talk to her
till somoono better turns up.
Margaret Yes, of course. Who's
hercP
Thinks Hor coupe is attho door, and
sho must bo going to the Grammercy
Park's. I don't suppose it will do any
good, but I'll be particularly agreeable
and see.
I lelen Nobody. I' m bored to death.
I'm only waiting till I can go.
Thinks How hideous you look in
that hat' Though I'd ra'ther like it
injvolf in decent colors, of course.
Mnrgarl Is some one singing?
Thinks How absurd to have any one
sing at a tea. now, except Lehman!
Helen. -Yos, don't you see that man
standirg up in the room, opening and
shutting his mouth? You dear girl,
what a stunning costume! Paris?
Th'nks. I don't believe she will ask
nie. Sho always goes . about in her
coupe nlone.
Margarot Who's that man with
Florence Lennox?
Thinks. Sho knows ovory man in
town by name.
Helen. With Florcnco Lennox?
Keally, you know, I can't seo from
here.
Thinks. Horrid thing! Sho know I
didn't know him.
Margaret. Oh! I aaw that absurd bit
of gossip about you in ono of those
wretched society papers, as thoy call
them, last wook. I folt so sorry, dear;
you must havo felt dreadfully.
Thinks. I'll let hor see wo all know
how sho tried for Dick Million, and
missed him.
Ilolen. Oh, I didn't mind! Any ono
could seo it was prompted by personal
spite, and tho outcomo is, cntra turns,
I'vo been obligod to acknowledge to a
vory few real friends, liko yourself,
dear, that I refused him.
Thinks I shouldn't bo surprised if
Margaret wrote that paragraph in tho
paper herself; it's just liko hor.
Margaret I'vo told several people
that thoro couldn't bo any truth in it,
and could not agree with them when
thoy all said thoro must bo somo
foundation to give rise to tho stories.
Thinks Don't believe sho over camo
anywhoro near refusing him. It's
ridiculous! Don't believe ho gave hor
tho chance not with those eyes, with
all her money!
Helen It's so good of you, dear, to
light my battlos for mo. I've boen so
glad to seo you hero. It's quite paid
me for coining to this stupid tea.
Thinks I wouldn't go in hor old
coupo. now. if sho did ask mo.
Margaret -Como and soo mo soon,
do; it's so long since we've had a good,
long chat together. Como in any timo;
I'm seldom homo, but you may just
happen to find mo.
Thinks Not if I'm awake, though;
th's will about do for one winter.
Helen Thanks, Margarot, dear! but
I'm going out of town for good Ash
Wodnesday, and I'vo r-illy not a mo
ment up till then. Drop In at our
houso somo Sunday aftornoon; main
ma's always homo, you know.
Thinks (Thoughts confused and in
describable but not mild.)
Margaret Good-byo. Mrs. Squaro!
Sorry not to havo had a minute with
you. Ono novor sees pooplo in their
own house, you know. Tho music
was delightful.
Thinks Sho's worn that dross at
every ono of hor days. Wrotched
form!
Helen Charming. Mrs. Squaro, I'm
jo sorry to havo to go.
Thinks No ono horo I caro a fig for;
shall cut hor olT my visiting list.
Win. Clydo Fitch, in Life.
THE LAtVsT JOKE.
iMow Mrx. Jinon Kntnllml It to Her Pa
tient l,eitr Huir.
Mrs. Jasju came homo tho othor
.ovoning with her face "wroathed in
-smilos." as tho novelists have it.
"Well, what are you grinning at?"
was tho cordial greotlng of hor lord and
master.
"I heard some thing funny down
itown," she nnsworod.
"Well, what was it."
"Oh. nothing much. I happened to
;meot little Johnny FIgg, who used to
keep the applo stand across tho way,
you know, and he's got a bettor ono
down town now. I asked him how ho
was gotting along and ho says to me:
'Oh, I'm still keoping a stand, you seo.'
I thought it was tho cutost thing I had
heard for a good while."
Oh. you did, did you. Mnrla? If 1
over seo where tho laugh corner in I'll
try and smilo, oven if I havo to got up
in tho mlddlo of tho night to do so,"
was his crushing roply, to which she
deigned no answer.
About two o'clock in tho morning
Mr. Jason was awakoned from n dream
of being stabbed by a masked assassin
to find his wiTo energetically nudging
him below tho fifth rib.
"Oh, Johiol. I had that wrong," she
twittered, in a tono of one who lias
ma Jo a great discovery. "Johnny said
jKa business was At a stand-still You
eeo tho point now, don't you?"
"Yes, I reckon so," said tho old man
in no gracious tonos, 'und if I feel tho
point of your infernal olbow jabbing me
in tho ribs any moro to-night I'll go to
sleep in tho barn. Do you hear? '
"And ho didii t laugh either as hu
promised to," was hor rolloction, nsbhe
settled down to sleep ngain with ths
sweet cotl'lidousnes'j of duty performed.
Detroit Commercial Advertiser.
WOMEN IN JAPAN.
Thmj Hare AIwht Occupied tho Illgneat
l'lano or Any Aiintlc Women.
In Japan, women have always hold
fc position superior to that of their
Asiatic sinters. Thoir seclusion, ovon
In tho old days, wns not so strict.
1'hoy led a freer and moro out-door
life, and they vcro educated to a cer
tain extent. Tho family idea and
rule prevailed, and with tho exquisite
politeness of those peoplo exalted def
erence wns paid tho mother of
tho family. Tho Confucian laws
woro recognized thoro as well,
and her duties and obligations wero
strictly defined by them. Her three
great duties wero obedience to her
father, her husband and oldest son. as
they in turn becamo tho head of her
family.
Japaneso women of tho middle and
upper olasses woro taught to road and
writo tho common language in the.
hirakiwi, or simple running charac
ters, instead of tho square characters
of the classic language. All novels,
plays and newspapers aro written in
the hirakana, and women nro still tho
great novel-readers of Japan. No
woman attended tho theater beforo
marriage, and the upper classes not at
all, the realism and license of the stage
being given as a reason. A Japanese
woman's education formerly comprised
endless lessons and practico in tho
mysteries of otiquotto, learning to
play tho koto and samison, and to ar
range bouquets. Women of literary taste
wero not uncommon at court, and tho
screens in tho Empress' suito in tho
old Kiota palaco aro covered with au
tograph poems dashed off by herself or
her ladies in waiting. The present
Empress of Japan is poetic in her
tastes and has shown a great interest
in Western literature. It is under hor
lead that such reforms in tho condi
tion of women havo taken place, and
in tho court lifo sho moves and acts as
any sovereign lady of a European
country.
Sinco 1870 new laws havo been
mado regarding the legal status of
women in Japan, and tho peoplo aro
still in transition between the old cus
toms and tho new condition of things.
Under tho present laws women can
hold property, dlsposo of it and man
age their affairs on much better terms
than aro possible to tho women of
3omo European nations. They can
testify in court, although they seldom
do it, old prejudices not being suffi
ciently overcome to allow a woman's
testimony to havo much woight with
a Japanese judge.
Tho advancement of women has
been tho most wondorful feature in
tho progress of Japan during the last
twenty years. Tho Empress Haru has
led most of tho movements, and found
ed institutions and schools destined to
assist Japanese women to a highor
and moro noarly equal intellectual and
social plane with men and with West
ern women. Besides tlieso institu
tions, the Empress is at tho head of
the Fujiu Kiofu Kwai, a society for
tho advancement of women, and aim
ing to secure them a highor social and
legal estate. Many Japeneso men aro
members of this society, and earnestly
dovoted to its ends, moro especially
thoso who, having occupied olllcial
positions abroad, havo had tho oppor
tunity to seo and feftl how different
tho position of tho women of their
own families has been in foreign coun
tries compared to what thoy en
joyed at home. Tho Into Viscount
Mori, tho Minister of Education.
who wns assassinnted in Febru
ary, low, was an anient worlcer m
this causae. Ho organized a society of
literary men, tho Moirokusha, that
through its publications urged tho ad
vancement of women, and thoir eman
cipation from tho old customs and oti
quotto, and Viscount Mori's great
point was the social and legal equality
of men and women. Ho was tho first
noblo to mako tho now marriage coro
raony conspicuous, a civil contract
being drawn up before tho Governor
of Tokio, and signed by Viscount Mori
and Mile. Hiroso. In his deatli the
women of Japan lost their ablest and
most powerful champion.
Japaneso women have been quick to
accopt loroign methods of instruction,
and provo thomsolvos intolllgent and
faithful students. In tho hospitals
and training schools for nurses thoy
show much ability, and tako satisfac
tory standing. No ono among thom
has yet aspired to bo a student of law,
and whilo thoro have been women
writers of novels, poems and dramas,
history tolls of but ono Portia, a mur
doress who defended horself in court,
and won her acquittal by tho force
and eloquence of hor arguments. Tho
exciting melodrama of her lifo and
trial is un old favorlto with ull theater
goers. Tho women of Japan havo always
occupied tho highest piano of any
Asiatic women, and tho futuro prom
ises them a position and consideration
equal to that of their American sis
ters. Oriental and Occidental reform
ers can ask no moro. Harper's
Buzur.
Tho old fashion of making bngs of
ribbon joined togethor with fancy
stitching is again revived. All the
ribbons with pearl feather or laca
edges aro useful for this purpose, and
silk and volvot look well together.
Such bags have a base of velvet-covered
cardboard about flvo inchc
square, and aro mado of ton stripes of
ribbon lined with a contrasting color.
Somo very gay bags combino sovoral
hues, und thoy nro tho most useful bo-
cnuso thoy aro equally well adapted to
accompany any frock.
m m
Tho successful farmer has to be
sharp us u raiser. Merchant Jiv
eler.
J ABOUT LAMP CHIMNEYS.
million of Them llroken Every Yer
Where They Come From.
Noarly 5.000.00) of lamp chimney?
aro smashod every year in this city
.tud at least 50.000.000 bits of glass are
thrown into ash barrels, streets, alleys,
gutters, sewers, etc Yet peoplo vent
ure out in thln-solod shoes, children In
bare feet and horses without any pro
tection on their hoofs.
Stranger still, one seldom hears of
an accident arising from tho presence
of these bits of glass.
Tho street sanitary regulations of
the city fortunately do much toward
obviating such accidents, and most of
tho broken and cracked chimneys aro
deposited in ash barrels and find their
way to the dump, where they, aro gath
ered up by rag-plokers and sold, to
junk dealers, who, in turn, sell tho
ncraps. which aro known as "cullet."
to the glass works tit 10 cents per IrK)
puu"ds.
Tho dealers in chlmnoys dispose ot
their broken stock, which is about 5
per cent, of that carried, in tho same
manner.
Tho breakugo of lamp chimneys
represents tho consumption of that
article. Tho lamp-chimney business,
therefore, is of eonsidor.;lo impor
tance to tho public.
There nro innumerable styles of
lamp chimneys on the market largo,
small and medium sized; long, short,
round, flat and twisted; thin, thick,
narrow, broad, square, globular, scal
loped, colored, spotted, etc., from tho
baby chimney. 4 inches tall by 1 inch
in diameter, to the great big follow. 12
inches tall by lj inches in diameter,
used on tho largest lamp in tho market,
which throws a .0-eandle power light
and costs from 15 cents to .2 per dozen
wholesale. They oven manufacture
combinations of chimney and globes,
whilo every year brings into the mar
ket half a dozen or moro of now styles
of chimneys. Every yew lamp requires
a special chimney.
Nino-tenths of tho chimneys mado
in this country aro manufactured in
Pittsburgh, while most of the baianco
aro mado at StoubonvHlc, O., while a
very few aro made in tho natural gas
regions.
The majority of small ones aro im
ported. Wherever the material in a
lamp chimney is of greater cost than
tho labor tho chimney is imported, and
vico versa.
All tho shapes used in this country
aro of Ainorican design, but aro man
ufactured abroad and brought hero
and sold at much less than thoy cpuld
be produced here. It is labor that fig
ures in tho cost of manufacture moro
than material.
Tho odd shapes are all molded,
while tho ordinary shapes two blown
and are mado of load glass and lime
giass, both in this and tho old country.
There is a featuro that tho casual ob
server would not notico in selecting a
lamp chimney with a squaro top. Two
chimneys of almost identical appear
ance aro placed side by side, ono of
which commands a highor price. A
close observation shows that tbo top
and bottom of tho ono is rough, whilo
tho other is polished and smooth.
Tho smooth ono possesses double tho
durability of tho rough ono. Tho
rough one is eutolf and cooled, while
tho other is polished. Only tho best
quality of glass can bo polished this
way.
Peoplo mako a great mistake in im
agining that a heavy chimney is moro
durable than a thin one. This is not
tho fact. The thin chimney is far
moro durable becauso of its expansion
and contraction being moro regular.
Tho non-breakable chimney, which
is made chielly in Illinois, is non
brenkablo in name moro so than in
reality, though it is much moro dura
blo tnan tho ordinary chimney. The
difference in tho price how-over, does
not warrant its purchase on tho score
of economy, hence vory fow aro sold.
Tho best grade of chimney is known as
tho pearl top, which is mado like any
othor chimney, but whilo hot has a
crimped ring woldod to tho top, whilo
tho ordinary crimped top is merely
placed in a mold and shaped while hot.
Theso chimneys aro much less liablo
to break than the others, and are con
sidered well worth the ono-third moro
In price. Tho great demand to-day is
for fancy tops.
There aro also a great many chim
neys now used on gas burners. On
tho sholves of a first-class lamp storo
can be found fifty separate and distinct
stylos of lamp chimneys, while ovory
grocery in the country handles .them,
mostly I he common grades.
Tho life of a lamp chimney is as
uncertain as that, of a man. An ox
pensive one is as liablo to break as
soon a- a cheap one, as tho-oaro many
causes calculated to crack or shutter
them other than a fall or contact with
uuother body. A draught of ajr, a
damp chimney, a nplash of water or a
high blaze will any of them terminate
a chimney's ucefulness in short order.
Cincinnati Times-Star.
He Was Excused.
"Excuo nie." he said lis he bit off
tho end of a cigar and held out his
hand to secure a light from tho other,
who was smoking.
"Hog pardon."
i said oxou?o inc."
"Oh, oi-rtaiuly. Always willing to
OX0USO."
And he took tho frosh cigar, llghtod
it, throw his old tub away, and 111 ho
began on tho new ono ho walked off
with tho ivmnrics
"Vory good irigur, Mi -vory good.
Of course I'll oxuuo on. "--Detroit
Fro I'rMHit
THE SOUNDING ROCKS.
A Xnturnl rhenoniennii Which Hits Glrro
llle to .Miiny Legends.
Not far from Dlunn, on tho banks of
tho Arguenon, ono of thoso small tor
rential rivers which, in emptying Into
tho sea. carve tho coast of Brittany into
capricious festoons, there is shown to
tho tourist a heap of grayish rocks
known In tho country under tho naiuo
of tho "sounding stones of Guildo."
In the crystallno tcxturo of theso
'rocks and their slaty color wo at once
recognize that variety of stone known
in mineralogy by tho name of amphlb
olo (complex silicate of iron, manga
nese and lime). Theso stones, which,
aside from their musical properties,
possess no novelty, are situated in tho
midst of wonderful scenery. They oc
cupy a small cove, that at rising tide is
entirely covered, and which is over
looked by a high bank, upon which
stands tho little village of Guildo,
formerly tho center of a celebrated pil
grimage. Tho stonos of Guildo are not erratic
blocks derived from tho upper part of
the valley. It is clearly seen that
they havo been detached from tho
bank itself, the strata of which atv
of rock of the same formation. Thoy
are huge boulders rolled and polished
by the sea.
Tho sounding-stones are three in
number. They are long prismatic
blocks, lying side by side, at right
angles with tho shore, and becauso of
their form, the inhabitants sometimes
call them "the horses in tho stable."
Tho central stone moro particularly
exhibits the phenomenon. It is about
20 feet in length, and 2IJ feet In circum
ference, thus giving it an approximate
woight of 1G5.000 pounds. On tho
river side it ends in a sort of truncated
spur. It is at this part that it is
necessary to strike it with an iron in
strument, or, hotter, with a stone of tho
same nature. Near this spur there
aro observed three or four points that,
aro well marked by tho wear produced
by the repeated blows of visitors.
Theso aro tho points at which tha
maximum of sonorousness is obtained.
Under a blow tho stone emits a vory
clear, silvery sound, similar to that
which would bo obtained by striking a
large bell with a mallot of soft wood.
Tho moro ono approaches tho othor
end, in continuing the blows, tho deader
tho sound becomos. Near tho top tho
totality seems to increase a little.
Finally, at certain points, which must
bo nodes of vibration, moroly a dull
sound is obtained. If, whilo striking,
ono presses his ear against tho othor
extremity of tho rook, tho sound heard
is extraordinarily intense, and, in
measure as it dies out, tho various har
monics aro distinctly perceived. The
two other stones omit nothing moro
than a mullled soun. It is assorted
that this is duo to tho fact that thoy
havo been disturbed by tho action of
ilio sea. In fact, it is to be noted that
tho musical stone rests through a few
points only upon the pebbles that sup
port it, whilo tho two othors aro now
partially sunk in the subjacent earth.
Wo examined all tho surrounding
stones, and found several that gavo
vor.y varied sounds, without there seem
ing to bo any rotation botweon thoir
sizo and the height of tho pitch. At
tho end of the covo wo more particu
larly remarked a horizontal stratum
partially buried in tho shore und di
vided into fragments, forming, as it
were, something like tho gigantic koys
of a prehistoric piano. Threoof theso
stones gavo clearly tho perfect major
chord. Whilo watching our researches
with curiosity, a boy of tho locality
exclaimed now and then, provious to
our oxporimonts: "Will sound!"
"Won't sound!" and, accustomed to
mako tho singular stonos spoak, ho
soon showed us how, at tho first
glance, it was posslblo to rocognizo tho
musical stones. Tho rocks, In fact,
exhibit two vory difl'oront aspects.
Thoso of a silvery gray, with a vory
lino texture, all render, ovon when
broken, a very puro sound. 'J hose of
a dnrkor color and blotched with
brown, through an excess of Iron, aro
us if exfoliated, and omit no sound.
Thoso sounding rocks havo moro
than onco furnished thoir contingent
to tho already rich legendary of tho
Breton country. Wo woro struck by
ono of those legends. It is tho story
of a tailor (hump-backed, of courso),
who, ono fine overling, obligingly as
sisted in completing tho round of tho
fairies of Guildo, who woro disconso
late over being in unequal numbers.
As a reward, tho fairies taught him to
"sound tho stone" in making a wish.
At tho call of tho mysterious boll thoro
camo from tho depths of tho earth
gnomes and olves, who satisfied tho
fortunate tailor's wishes, und begun in
tho first placo by ridding him of hit
hump, Then comes tho usual counter
part: Tho artful and scotllng miller of
tho valley of tho Arguonon wished to
imltato tho tailor, and succeeded only
in making tho fairies hostile. Thoy
avenged themselves on him by ridding
thomsolvos, at his expense, of tho
tailor' o hump, which took up its porch
on tho miller's shoulders. N. Y.
Ledger.
-
A sheriff in the State of Now York
wus in the habit of carryingu loaded
revolver, and at night he kept it near
his bedside. On one occasion he wne
awiiKencd in the night by somo one
crawling upon tho roof of ashed which
scoured access to an open window, The
sheriff took ills weapon and pointed it
in tho direction of tho window. A
man's head appeared and then hlw
body. Ho was so sure of his man that
ho oxiilaimodi "Who's thoro?" "Jo,"
wus tho roply. Tho voice of his son,
who had lost hi latt-h-koy, wus so
startling Unit the Hhorill never carried
u we;iuoi uvula whilo ho bold oWe"
ALL ABOUT SHARKS.
lliiTfiimn Chnrnrter of the Whlto ano
llHininer-lleiiileU Vrlctlc.
It was reported the other week thai
a sailor engaged in scraping tho sides
of a troop-ship in tho harbor of Sierra
Ieono was drawn into tho water and
promptly devoured by a shark. ThN
is not an uncommon experii'iice and
the Standard reminds us that a boat
man has beon bitten in the short time
It took him to dip up a pitcher o(
water whilo his craft wns ui.der fill'
sail. Wo aro assured that it is noth
ing uncommon for the rnveuotH fish to
spring a foot cut of the sea in order to
secure their prey. For miles they will
follow a vessel, on the lookout for tiny
stray unfortunate who may tumble or
bo thrown overboard, and so deep do
they swim under the surface that It re
quires the practiced eyes of tho natives
to detect their presence. M any of the
West India harbors are so haunted by
the white and hauimer-he.'uled sharks
tho b-ast amiable of tho one hundred
and fifty different kinds known to ,o
ologlsts that it is dangerous to b.itho
even a fow yards from tho shore with
out an outlook being posted.
Yet tho West African negro has been
known to face tho brute, not only with
impunity, but even to como off as vic
tor in tho end. All but amphibious,
tho swimmer cautiously approaches
his enemy, and then, just at the mo
ment when tho great fish turns over to
seize him his mouth being so placed
that It is necessary tho daring black
plunges his knifo into its whlto belly.
Tho pearl-divers aro also sometimes
successful in thoir attacks on sharks
which try to seize them, though, it is
needless to add, such a mode of combat
is possible only when tho monsters do
not como in numbers, and under tho
most favortiblo circumstancos requires
a coolness, a dexterity and a courage
which aro not to bo acquired except
by long experience in such perilous
encounters. As a rule, however, it is
seldom that a man who Is so luckless
as to drop among sharks ovor appears
again. There is a shriek, a white out
look is seen under the surface and a flu
abovo it, a reddened crest tops tho noxt
swoll which breaks against tho ship's
side, anil tho horror-stricken seamen
know that their messmate will bo seen
no more.
It is a woll ascertained fact that tho
skelotons of sheep, pigs, dogs and cat
tle which had fallen or been thrown
overboard have been recovered many
days subsequent to thoir boing swal
lowed; and it is on record that in tho
stomach of a shark killed in tho Indian
ocean a lady's work-box was found,
whilo in another tho incriminatory
papers which had beon thrown away
by a hotly-chased slaver wero recov
ered from tho maw of an involuntary
witness thus curiously brought into
court on tho barb of a pork-baited
hook. Kuyseh, ono of tho most trust
worthy of tho old naturalists, atllrms
that a man in mail homo lorlcatus.
ho calls him was found in tho stom
ach of a whito shark; and it is record
ed by Blumoubnch that in one case a
whoio horso was found. It is undonia
blo that many havo boon killed with
ample capacity for such undesirable
contents; and Basil Hall tells of one
out of which was taken tho whole skin
of a buffalo, besides a host of othor
trilles which had beon dropped astern
in tho courso of tho provious wook.
Sailors aro full of suporstitlons
which touch tho suporhumau sagacity
and incarnate iloudishuoss of this fish
how, its senses being acuto far be
yond what wo can havo any idea of, it
will follow1 ships for days whon a death
is likely to occur, and desert tho wako
of c tho vossol whon no such good
fortuno for it is in tho wind. Vatoa,
tho shark god, Is tho lord of tho ocoan
in tho Horvoy island mythology, and It
is whispered that ovon tho Chris
tianized Hawalians will still, whon in
tho direst extremity, invoko Moonru,
tho shark demon, to whom their pagan
forefathers orooted toniplos and of
fered sacrifice Tho poati divors
of Ceylon omploy shark charmors
to protoct thom whilo engaged
in their dangerous work. Marco
Polo speaks of tlieso officials under the
name of the abnomanl, who rccolvod
as wages a twontioth of tho divors'
gains. At tho present day thoy aro
called halbundl or shark-binders, and
us the divors would not enter tho
waters without oing certain of thoir
sorvlccs tho chief operator receives a
government subsidy of ton oysters por
diem. Tho Tuhltians dollied tho blue
shark under tho name of "Aukua
maoo," dedicating it to shrines and
priests, and in West Africa rabbits arc
sacrificed to "J ohn."whllo.lf notsharp
ly watched, it lias beon affirmed that
some of tho tribes about tho Niger del
ta will, at fixed times, bind a child dec
orated with (lowers to a post on tho
beach at low tide and leave it to bo
devoured by tho sharks which come in
with tno (low, drowning its crlos with
tho nolso of drums. Newcastle (Eng.)
Chronicle.
Lack of Courtesy to Wives.
A Western woman, talking of the
lack of courtesy on tho part of bus
bunds to thoir wives, says: "When I
think I havo a hard time, I just think
of tho women who have no servants,
but who thomsolvos caro for tho
children, wash, iron, cook, mend,
churn, milk, carry wood and water,
all for less than an Irish servant girl's
wages. Of courso mon appreciate
their wlvoH, of course thoy do, but
thoy keep their polite manners and
courteous ways for other men's wives.
Ono timo James thanked mo for saving
him room beside mo ui tho concert,
and then sort of apologized for bolus
polite, by saying lie thought It was my
ulster Mury."
AN ADAPTIVE STEl?D.
A Trpogr.iphlnitl Mliickninlth' Jllundft
nmt It Consequence.
I inserted tho following ndvertiso
mont in our village paper tho othor
day :
T7ANTr.n A small houso for tho season.
Apply, etc.
and havo had a great deal of soul
twisting sport out of it. Tho compos
itor, who works in a halt-factory fivo
days in the week, porformed a notablo
font In re-creation, by mnking a
"horso" out of a "house," and I'vo
been holding a Tattersall's rccoptioti
ovor since.
Before tho paper was printed, tho
top of a torn livery stable bill-bond
was handed in to mo ono ovenlng, and
following this informal card camo tho
proprietor himself. Ero I could ox
plaln that it was n chalet and not a
palfrey that I wanted, ho had proached
this entiling sermon:
"Ono 'r th' Mirror's proof-shoets
blowed out th' winder, an' I seen into
it that you wanted a small boss. I'vo
got ono that's smaller than Uncle Tobo
Benhntn, an' he's small 'nough t' feed
seed cat'logues to a shonL Small?
Why, I let hor out t' other day
In a village cart to old Mls3
Welkin nn' sho didn't know
moro'n t' sot right plum ovor th' axlo.
Wheu that fat tarrlor of horn jumped
tu behind, what does th' hull outfit do
out turn a back ban' spring, an' th'
boss, sho came down fiat on her saddlo
jest th1 opposite of whoro sho was, an'
Miss Welkin shut up liko a door-knifo
tween th' seat an' th' gutter."
I ventured to hint Ujat I had no tdoa
jf buying a horso, but tho dealer evi
dently thought this a moro subtorfugo
',o knock him down on price, and ho
'opt right on:
"You needn'jJ)o 'fraid that sho's too
small, though," ho said. "Sho's th'
knowin'est thing you ovor see.
"I'vo got tlireo sets of harness for
her, each on 'em ono sizo bigger than.
f othor. When I lot hor out to Mr.
Frccson, tho parson, knows ho'a
kinder dlgn'fied, an' sho draws hor
jolf up, an' stan's on tip-toos, un.
swells out, so's I havo t' put on num
ber one.
"Then when thoy's a funeral, an'
things is kindor av'rago all 'round,
sho's what yor call nominal, an' num
ber two goes; but whon Silo Dyor liirea
hor t' lot his rickety boy go up t' Kon
3ico for elder, you'd ortor seo her! Sho
sort'r shrinks all up, an' draws hor
logs in, an1 coughs jest ns nat'ral as
s'nsumption.
".lost think how hnndy sho'd bo for
you 'round th1 placo. Sho '11 oat any'
thin'. Brigand, th' butcher, tolls mo
that you always run a bit short toward
th' last of tho wcok. That 's th' timo
she'll haul in, tin' bo conlontod with,
p'tatcr-skius an' old curl-papors. Then
when things gits hotter, an' you havo
a fair dinner, sho '11 put on hor noxr
sizo, an' 'dapt horself t' what lobster
salad an' fixins you havo loft ovor; un
Mondays after th' Sunday dinner sho '11
expand, an' you won't havo t' havo no
rofuso carts a-comln' intor th' yard.
Sho 's sound an' kind, Mlstor Gotman,
an' afraid of notliin'."
Hero was a loop-holo of escape, and
I crawled through.
"If 1 bought a horso," I whisporedt
"I should liko ono just liko yours; but
that last clauso rather docides mo not
to mako a trado. As my wife and chil
dren would probably drive it moro than
I should (bore I edged him toward tho
door), I should havo to insist on an
animal that is notafraldof any thing."
"That's what I moan," ho walled;
but I pushed him out on the front
porch and locked tho door. Puck.
Queen Margherlta of Italy.
Quoon Marghorlta of Italy possesses,
many graces and accomplishments, and
whilo sho Is woll vorsod in classic and
modern literature, sho is also ono of
tho host violoncello playors of tho day.
Wishing to pay special tribute to
Italian gonitis, sho not long ago had
publlshod at hor own oxponso, for the
education of hor son, an elaborate edi
tion of Danto's works, containing much
that has been wi-Itton about tho poot,
with tho reproduction of ovory picture,
inspired by him. Sho is also an urdont
patron of the arts und industries of her
country, and under hor fostering caro
tho manufacture of Ituruno lnco, onco
apparently lost, was saved from extinc
tion. Hor alms-giving is munificent
but practical, and in hor religion alio
is nolthor a bigot nor u freethinker.
Her uttlludo toward public questions
lias been so wiso and politic that sho in
gonorally loved by tho pooplo, and tho
greatest criticism mado of hor by bur
enemies is that sho doos not dross in
good taste. Harpor's Weekly.
Superstition's Curse Was on Him.
Swlpsoy Yes, mum, I'm lookln' for
work. I'm poor nn' most starved.
Can't yo got mo some grub an' a jobP
Farmer's wlfo (handing out a son
orous meal) Poor follow! Eat this,
and then my husband will give you.
work at thirteen dollars a month. Ho
needs a man.
Swlpsoy (ata safe distance) 'Xcuse
mo, mum. I'm ashamed to own it, but
I'm a bit superstitious, an' I coulda't
take tho job 'cause thirteen Is un un
lucky number. Judge.
Some people spoak as if hypocrites
wero confined to religion, but thoy aro
every whoro; peoplo pretending to
wealth when thoy havo not ti sixpence,
assuming knowledge of which they aro
Ignorant, shamming a culture thoy uro
fur removed from, adopting opinion
thoy do not hold. llev. Albert Good
rich. Vermont claims to produce mora
butter annually thiin any othor StaUi
In tho Union.